The three basic components of the Mystery Method: ATTRACT, COMFORT, and SEDUCE. Each of these has three phases, which we have numbered 1 through 3. Here is the full list:
ATTRACT 1 (or A1): Opening
ATTRACT 2 (or A2): Female-to-male attract phase (often called “attracting”)
ATTRACT 3 (or A3): Male-to-female attract phase (or “qualifying”)
COMFORT 1 (or C1): Connection
COMFORT 2 (or C2): Trust
COMFORT 3 (or C3): Intimacy
SEDUCTION 1 (or S1): Arousal
SEDUCTION 2 (or S2): Last-minute Resistance
SEDUCTION 3 (or S3): Sex
We observe time and time again that successful courtships go through these nine phases in this order:
A1 (Opening): Obviously you have to initiate a conversation (or bait her into initiating one) before you can go anywhere. This phase usually last under a minute, but is excruciatingly important. We have a LOT to say about this, but for now, try a couple of things:
3 Second Rule: When you see someone you are interested in, go right in within 3 seconds. Otherwise you “stale out” in her eyes and make yourself nervous.
Convey minimal interest: Don’t walk straight up to her. Come in at an angle between 45 and 90 degrees (don’t approach from behind either). Initiate the conversation with dismissive body language (e.g., your head over your shoulder)
Smile on the approach
Have some “canned” openers ready. Make them short and accessible to a group of strangers and different from what they’ve heard before. “Did you see the fight outside?” is much better than some long story or “I like your hairstyle”.
A1 ends once you’ve engaged a conversation. Once you’ve got that, MOVE ON to A2
A2 (Attract): Gaining attraction is easier than you think. Some ways to do this include negs, conveying alpha male characteristics (discuss later), and Demonstrating a Higher Value (DHV) than the thousands of other guys who have talked to her. Do NOT compliment her (that’s for A3). We’ll go into a lot of detail about this. A2 should take anywhere from 2-10 minutes, though with some women it can be up to 20. Once she is interested in you (touching you, asking you questions about yourself, etc.), then move onto A3.
A3 (Qualify): This phase is crucial. You need to give a woman a legitimate reason for why you are interested in her beyond her looks. Otherwise, what will happen is she will be interested in you (because of what you did in A2), and once you express interest in her, she’ll often back off. She’s interested in you because your A2 behavior suggested that you are the coolest guy ever. Girls know that they need to do some work to get guys like that (and they love doing the work . . . don’t spoil the pick-up for her by making it too easy!). If you are “easy”, she will know she has misjudged you and move on. Actually getting a woman to give you enough to have non-look based reasons to be interested in her can be hard. There will be a whole OAP component just on this. Anyway, for now, recognize that it needs to be done. Ask her what she has going for her. Give her compliments (not on her looks) if, but only if, she deserves them.
C1, C2, C3 (Comfort): Building comfort is the bulk of the pickup. You should be done with Attraction in half an hour. For most women (not party girls), the Comfort-phases will take 3 to 10 hours and may require separate meetings (sometimes thought of as “dates” — although we don’t date . . . we’ll get into this later). These three phases are distinguished only by where they occur. C1 takes place in the same location where you attracted her (lounge, restaurant, party, bar, mall, etc.). C2 takes place in a comfort-building location (if you leave a lounge with her to go grab some food, for example, or arrange to meet up the next day on the beach). C3 takes place in your seduction location (e.g., your living room). In all of these phases, you are building comfort. Tone down the dismissive attitude. Don’t try to go sexual yet. Make it fun. Make time pass.
S1, S2, S3 (Seduction): This is what you’ve been working towards. Make sure you don’t start S1 (arousal) until you are ready to take it to S3 (sex). There is no point arousing a woman in a club if she’s in a situation where you can’t take her home. If you arouse a woman outside of the seduction location, you can make it hard for her to actually go to the seduction location with you. Most women don’t want to think of themselves as sluts, so have evolved anti-slut defense (ASD). If you start touching a girl and turning her on sexually at a restaurant and then try to bring her home, she’ll know that it’s for sex and may feel like a slut for going with you and therefore decide not to. Believe me, when a woman goes home with you, she KNOWS that sex is a possibility, but do both of you a favor and let her feel seduced and swept away, not slutty. Don’t start seducing her until you’re somewhere where you can finish the job.