Guest post by Nick Savoy is President of Love Systems and co-author of the Routines Manual.

One of the biggest issue guys have is “running out of things to say”. Those awkward pauses kill attraction. I’ve been teaching guys how to succeed with women for almost ten years, and this problem always seems to come from the same two places:

1. They look for the perfect thing to say, instead of going with what is good enough. You don’t need 300 polished routines. (A routine is a story or a line or something you do that works…everyone uses routines, though most guys call it ‘using your best stuff’). 10-15 great routines for specific situations is good enough. You need a couple of good openers. A couple good transitions. Some killer attraction routines. And so on. The best way to learn routines is to focus on one at a time and use it in every approach. When you’ve internalized it and can use it any time, add another.

2. Some guys say they “don’t use routines.” This is just silly. Everyone uses routines. A routine is simply a piece of material that works and can be used again. Your uncle Marcel has probably never heard of Love Systems, but when he tells the same story at every family reunion about his ice fishing trip in Manitoba, he is delivering a routine. You already have certain stories or things to say that you’ve rolled out more than once in a conversation. Guess what? You’re using routines.

So, if you’re going to use routines anyway, you may as well use good ones. The Routines Manual is a great source of hundreds of the best routines that the top pickup artists in the world actually use every day when meeting women.

By the way, routines are not about “tricking” or “lying to women.” No one is telling you to repeat, word-for-word, the comic book routine or my stranded-in-Paris story. You can if you want for practice, but many routines are not about personal experiences (e.g., interesting observations or third-person stories). In any case, from using the masters’ routines, you can learn what they key elements are and how to make routines that do reflect your own life and experiencesl.

Not only do routines save you from having to worry about what to say next (and the threat of an awkward pause if you can’t think of anything), but they also narrow the field of likely responses. I’ve used some routines hundreds if not a thousand or two times and in most cases, there are only a couple of likely responses that a woman or her group will give. Then you can practice dealing with these specific responses. You’ll eventually find a routine that best advances the interaction based on her specific response. This is the beginning of a “routine stack” where instead of having just one routine, you have a couple in a row, in the right order, with contingencies based on her responses.

Nick Savoy, President of Love Systems, co-authored the popular Love Systems Routines Manual. Check it out here.

In order to grab a woman’s attention via a text message, you need to be quick. Texting is a very quick way to jump into someone’s life.

What you need to realize, though, is that there’s a mindset behind good texting. You don’t know what they’re doing, whom they are with and if they even have their phone with them at that moment. Presuming all of those things will make your job much easier.

If you want to get a woman’s attention, your texts need to always be intriguing. Here are nine of my favorites:

“What Are You Doing right Now?”: I love that. What are you doing right now? What’s great about that is that it enables you to intrigue her with curiosity. She will be curious why you are asking. She will answer by telling you what she is doing and then asking you “Why?” When she does, you respond with, “Just curious. I was thinking of something . . .” Always keep them very curious.

“Got a minute?”: This is another of my favorites. I love this one because what you’re doing is showing her that you respect her time. If she says yes, then you can ask her whatever question you want to ask her after that. If she says no, you can write back and say, “Cool. No problem. I’ll text you later. I have something I need to ask you.” By doing that, you will intrigue her. Remember that it’s all about intrigue.

“I Was Thinking…”: This text is the very definition of how to create intrigue. She will not only wonder what you were thinking about, but really want to know. Be sure to share what you’re thinking at that moment after she asks you what you were thinking (and she will ask).

“Have An Idea…”: If someone texts you this, aren’t you going to wonder what their idea is? Aren’t you going to be curious? The key to being a good texter is write things that get people to text you back. You don’t want to write a book, but just intrigue them enough to text you back or pick up the telephone to call you and take the conversation further. That is why all of these texts are very simple.

“You Wouldn’t Believe What Just Happened (Or What I Just Saw)”: People are very curious, and will always want to know what happened or what you saw. If you texted, “You really wouldn’t believe it …” then the reaction would be, “Really I wouldn’t believe it? What is it? What happened?” Do you understand that when you’re newly dating someone and newly texting with someone, that what you’re trying to do is create flirtatious banter that goes back and forth. So texting is about being playful. Texting is about having fun, and texting is all about keeping it simple.

“I Have Great News To Share With You”: Who doesn’t want to hear great news? Who doesn’t want to talk to someone who has great news to share? Who doesn’t want to hear something positive? So this, along with all of the other suggestions in this article, are all positive, intriguing things.

Bring Her Back To The First Meeting: Try writing a text that brings her back to the moment you first met her. You could, for example, write something like this if you met her at a farmer’s market and she had recommended blueberries to you. Start out with a simple text like, “You were so right…” She is going to want to know about what she was right. When she texts you back and asks you, you can say “Those blueberries were amazing!” The whole idea is to intrigue her and to grab her attention.

“I Have A Question…”: This is another great text to use, especially right in the beginning when you’ve just met her. She will wonder what your question is, and she will be too curious not to ask you what it is.

Bring Her Back To Her Childhood: Another type of question that will intrigue her is one that seems kind of random. Text her something like, “Random question — What was your favorite toy as a kid? (or favorite game)” This is the ‘getting to know you’ phase, so these curiosities about her will not only be intriguing but show real interest.

Texts should be used as just an opening to a conversation, and no differently than when you flirt with someone when you’re out and about. You just want to say enough to intrigue her. The whole point of texting is to get a great banter started. Send two or three texts back and forth, then do it again later in the day. It’s about keeping each other clued in to what’s going on in your lives. Texting should be simple, easy and fun . . . so enjoy it!

Learn more about texting tricks and tips at David Wygant’s blog by clicking here.

Here is a recent Q&A on phone and text game from Nick Savoy of Love Systems. He is the author of the Magic Bullets Handbook, the seduction bible for meeting and attracting women. If you are having problems with turning phone numbers into dates, this Q&A will really help you.

Dear Savoy,

I want to thank you everything Love Systems has done for me. I first read the Magic Bullets Handbook a year ago and read it again a few times last summer and got SERIOUS about changing my life. Holy F—! It worked exactly as I hope. Last week, I went back to my five year college reunion and no one recognize the “old Jason” but the popular hot girls loved the “new me”. It’s added a lot of confidence and FUN to my life. It’s like in the movies where you get to go back in time and do it all over – except it was real!

Through my friends [social circle], I hook up very easily. Bars are more trouble. One out of every two or three nights I get a same-night lay, but if I don’t go home with the girl, I can never get her out to see me again. This is even if she is BEGGING me to take her phone number? What am I doing wrong?

-J.S., Sugar Land, TX

Hi J.S.,

I had to really shorten your letter down; hope you don’t mind. And congratulations on your progress so far. Sometimes, as men, we are too focused on the next mountain to climb that don’t appreciate how far we’ve already come.

Onto your question – it’s almost definitely a problem with your “phone game” or, as we call it now “phone and text game”.

Phone and text game is the bridge between the first meeting (“the pickup”) and the second meeting (“the first date”). If you’re not good at that, you’ll be wasting your time meeting women since you’ll never get to see them again. If you’re really good at phone and text game, even very quick or fleeting pickups can turn into something.

My girlfriend before I left San Diego – a legit “10″ – came from a 5-minute conversation after the bar closed when her friends were yelling at her to get in the car. After some great phone game for a couple weeks, she invited me over to dinner and the rest was history.

The master’s guide to Phone and Text Game is of course the full-length book by top-10 pick up artists Braddock and Mr M, called The Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game. I don’t have space to summarize a couple hundred pages of text message scripts, phone call transcripts, etc., here, but I can give you a few pointers to start you off:

• Make sure she has your phone number in her phone when you get her number. That way she’ll know it’s you when you call.
• Never leave voicemail. If you have to leave a message, send a text.
• Text her later that night if possible. (This can be great for same-night lays as well. Meet her around midnight, text her at 2am with “are you guys still here?”) If not, definitely the next day.
• With most women, start texting instead of calling first.
• Vary your texts – they shouldn’t all be funny or serious or long or short or questions or statements. Mix it up.
• Never respond to her texts more quickly than she is responding to yours.
• Get a conversation flowing a bit first before you suggest plans.
• Make your phone and text game consistent with the initial pickup. If you met her for 5 minutes, don’t suggest dinner for Saturday night.
• Sign your name on your texts just in case. Just your name. Not “Nick, the guy in the red jacket from last night,” just “Nick”.

The great thing about texts (and phone calls to a certain extent) is you can “cheat”. You don’t have to think of the best answer on the spot – you can consult Braddock and Mr M’s Ultimate Guide and either use something “off the shelf” from the book or use it to inspire your own message.

If you’re trying to cram everything in 168 characters (a text message maximum) you’re trying to say too much. If she doesn’t respond to a text, don’t worry about it. Send another one later. Don’t even “notice” that she didn’t reply.

Alright, I said I wouldn’t go on forever. I’d really suggest you take a look at the Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game – just like with all books that are approved by Love Systems, you can download free chapters and of course it’s fully guaranteed for you to try it out for 30 days!

Take care,
Nick Savoy

A client of mine was just asking me about how to handle something that happens all too often in a bar. Now my client knows I am not a big fan of the bars, but lots of people do go to them.

It’s always good times when you go to the bar to have fun with your friends, and you run into who I call Mr. Testosterone . . . or, really, Joe Jerk. I call these guys Joe Jerk because they are guys who have been jerking off way too long and have way too much pent up energy.

Joe Jerk is the guy who will walk over to you, and try to get the girl you’re talking with to walk away with him. Here you are enjoying yourself at the bar talking to a girl. Joe Jerk will walk directly over to you using all his testosterone and say something like, “Dude, why are you still on it? She’s obviously not into you. Take a hike, man, so I can talk to her.” They go right for you.

I have something I want to tell all of you guys who do this kind of thing: It’s really ridiculous. It’s bravado. It’s that ‘macho man’ stuff that women really don’t like.

Even if you wanted to take a stab at doing something like this, this is totally the wrong way to do it. You would walk up to that woman and whisper in her ear, “Obviously you’re not into this guy. C’mon, let’s go. Just pretend you know me. We’ll walk away and you can buy me a drink for rescuing you from him.”

That’s what you do if you really wanted to go this route. You don’t try to get into a fistfight with some strange guy, just because you are frustrated that he approached the girl you wanted to talk to first. That doesn’t show any confidence.

If you see a girl talking to some guy, and you truly believe that she isn’t interested in that guy in the least, then try what I said above and give her the opportunity to walk away. If you do this, one of two things will happen.

If you’re right, you will have given her the opportunity to get away from a guy in whom she is not interested. Most likely, though, she’ll look at you and say “No thanks. I’m with him.”

The truth is that guys who pull this kind of crap are the same guys who get into their car and peel out like they’re sixteen years old. Even if a woman is not into that guy, you don’t look much better.

So if a guy does this to you in a bar when you’re talking to girl, you can look directly at him and say “You know what, let’s let the lady decide, because I personally think it is her choice. If she chooses you and your overwhelming personality, then that’s fine with me. I’ll go and talk to someone else.” Then you look directly at the girl, smile and say, “Your choice.”

Read more from David Wygant at his official website and download his book Date To Win.

In order to really be able to connect with people, you need to improve your memory. So many times when you’re in a conversation with someone, you fade out and go into “Me World.”

Slipping off into “Me World” during a conversation could happen out of fear or out of disinterest, or it could happen simply because you fail to remain present. At the moment you feel yourself starting to go in that direction, you need to dial yourself back become totally present in that conversation (whether you’re talking or just listening).

It’s a really powerful thing to be able to just listen while staying present. It’s equally powerful to be able to remember things about people after you have a conversation with them.

At the end of every conversation you have with someone, there’s a a couple different ways to remember about the person with whom you were talking and about the things they said to you. One thing you can do is your phone and dictate on the spot four interesting things you learned about them. The other way is to keep a pad and pen with you, and to write those things down manually.

So how would this work? Well say that you were walking down the street and you came upon a mother with her young daughter. You say, “How come you’re not in school?” The little girl tells you it’s her spring vacation. You then learn that the family is going to Mexico for spring vacation and that the little girl has a dog named Max that she’s going to miss when she’s gone.

To work on your memory, at the end of this conversation you would dictate to your phone (or you’d write down), “Met this woman today who has a daughter. She and her family are going to Mexico on spring break. The little girl was so proud of not being in school, and told me all about how she will miss her dog Max while they’re gone.”

Do this for thirty days. It’s not that you need to remember all this about these particular people, but by doing this exercise over and over you will train your memory to be better. You can then use this better memory whether it’s when you run into people a second or third time, or whether it’s when you are out there meeting members of the opposite sex.

I did this exercise myself a long time ago. Now I don’t forget anything about anyone, whereas I never used to be able to remember much about anyone I’d meet. Really, I used to remember nothing about people I’d meet.

By doing this exercise, it forces you to remember everything because you’ve made recording these details into almost a responsibility and an assignment. Commit to doing this for thirty days, and you will be so glad you did when you see how much you’ve built up your memory.

Learn new dating tips and specific to-do’s from David Wygant at his official website by clicking here.

Conversation is an art. Conversation is a skill. Conversation is something we all need to learn if we are going to be able to relate deeper with each other in general, and especially in our connections with the members of the opposite sex.

To master the art of conversation, and particularly conversation with members of the opposite sex, there are a couple things you need to learn. I’ve talked a little about this in past blogs.

Women are really good storytellers. When they tell a story, they put tons of life into the story and are full of passion in how they deliver the story. When men tell stories, they just give the facts.

No matter how you tell a story, though, the real question is how to get the other person to open up to you on a deeper level. How do you encourage someone to feel safe opening up to you and to share their stories and their passions with you?

The topic of the story you tell doesn’t matter. It could be about the phenomenal time you had on your trip to Italy, or about your love of cars, or your love of flowers.

What you talk about in a story is not the important factor in whether you can get the person to whom you’re telling that story to open up to you. What is important is that when you are diving deep into the story you are telling someone, that you engage that person so that they want to really dive deep into a story of their own.

So after you tell someone something so passion-filled, you need to then look that person right in the eyes and invite them to reciprocate and share something equally passionate with you. So if you tell someone about your phenomenal trip to Italy, for example, what you would do when you’re finished is to look the person directly in the eyes and say “Tell me about your favorite place to go.”

Be sure to say whatever it is with enthusiasm, energy and confidence . . . but also say it with a child-like curiosity. It is that curiosity that will really intrigue the other person.

The reason that so many dates fail is because men and women sit there telling each other stories, but they don’t ever go deeper. So what happens is one person will tell a story, and then neither asks the other what they think or how they feel about the situation or topic of the story.

Knowing how to go deeper in your conversations with the opposite sex is the only way to move a relationship forward and take it to the next level. So next time you’re having a conversation with someone you interested in, engage them to see if this is a person with whom you really want to get deep.

Read more from David Wygant at his official website, by clicking here

A client of mine just asked me a great question, and I wanted to share it with all of you. He asked me, “What if I walk over to a woman and I say something that I think is absolutely hilarious, and she looks at me with a snotty look on her face and says ‘that’s not funny?’”

I told him that there is something I do every time in this situation. The first thing I do is stay in the situation, because I am a man of confidence, strength and conviction.

What I will do is look her directly in the eyes and say, “Well, obviously we don’t have the same sense of humor. It’s a good thing we found this out right now, before we got romantically involved.”

I’ll say it with a smile on my face. I bust her really hard on what she said.

I’ve done this a lot. What happens is that she’ll start cracking up and will say some something like, “Oh my God, now THAT’s funny!” Then I’ll say, “What? Funny that you and I are dating, or funny that you and I don’t have the same sense of humor?”

So do you see how this scenario can go very differently when you go into it with no fear, and when you challenge someone on what they say? You need to go into these situations not so outcome-oriented.

A lot of times guys will go into a situation like this thinking, “I’m going to go and flirt with her right now. I’m going to hope that she responds to me so I can get her number (even though I don’t even know anything about her yet).”

So by being not so outcome-derived, it allows you to speak your mind and allows you to eliminate being intimidated by somebody. Also, by challenging someone you are pushing them a little bit.

For example, the woman in the “that’s not funny” scenario above may have not thought what you said was funny because of nothing having to do with what you actually said. She might have been thinking about something else, like her friend yelling at her earlier that day, and she took it out on you.

Staying in the situation and challenging her like I’ve described gives you the opportunity to maybe turn the situation around. So the next time a woman tells you “that’s not funny,” say exactly what I said to say in this blog and then let the fun begin!

Discover more dating tips and techniques at David Wygant‘s official website by clicking here

When I first moved to New York City, I used to read all the time about how women wanted a guy with a good sense of humor. It was in every magazine, every talk show…even my female friends would tell me the exact same thing. Even the Magic Bullets Handbook said so, and Magic Bullets is well-known for contradicting conventional wisdom (and being right).

You’d think that a professional comedian such as myself would have no problem with women then, right? Wrong.

I noticed instantly some things that I was already doing right (thanks to my improv and standup training), but some other things that I had WAY wrong. I want to talk to you guys about one of those things right now.

Going from funny to sexy. Why is it that so many really funny comedians have so much trouble hooking up with high quality women? How to you go from being the funny guy to the guy she wants to take home?

The answer is to use humor to mask your sexual intent. That means bringing up the topic of sex, but in a funny way.

Advantages to Sexual Framing

You should always be looking for opportunities to bring up the topic of sex with a woman that you are interested in, even though it can be hard to find a way to make it not creepy. When you talk about sex, you subcommunicate that you are someone who is interested in sex, who has had sex before, who is confident about sex. You start to paint the picture that sex is a normal and important part of your life.

You also start to introduce the idea of sex with the woman you’re talking to, which is really important, especially if you want same night lays. She’ll have a hard time putting you in the friend zone if you’ve already brought up the idea of hooking up with her.

Not only that, but if done in the right way, simply talking about sex can be physically exciting to her. It is a huge tool in breaking though levels of intimacy.

So how do we do this without sounding like a total creeper? The answer is above. USE HUMOR!

One of the things I’ve noticed from having done hundreds of approaches is that you can get away with a lot if you are funny. If you’ve read any of my “On The Fly” articles, you’ll see exactly how much you can get away when you are joking around with a woman. Knowing this, you should always start your sexual framing in a way that’s funny.

Two Techniques for Funny Sexual Framing

There are literally hundreds of ways to work sex into conversation, but for the moment I’ll hit you with two that are super easy.

The first is to hide it in a role play. A role play is putting you and the woman in a fake scenario that she can play along with. For example, pretending that you are breaking up even though you just met:

“I’m totally breaking up with you. I’ll come over tomorrow to get my CD’s and for the breakup sex.”

You can even pretend that you’ve been married and add all sorts of crazy fake details:

“That’s it! You and I are getting a divorce. Just as well. You could never handle me in bed anyways.”

Once you have the fake scenario out there, you’ve got free reign over the kind of material you can make up. Why not make up something sexual?

The second technique has to do with one of my Disqualification types. In my Humor, Improv and Attraction seminar I go deep into Disqualification and go over the 10 different types. One of those types is called Raising Your Value, in which you boast about your positive qualities. You talk about how attractive you are, how cool you are, and most importantly, how sure you are that the woman you are talking to you is attracted to you:

“You’re such a sexual predator. I can feel you undressing me with your eyes right now!”

or

“I’d appreciate it if you’d get your mind out of the gutter. I know it’s hard because I’m so hot, but just do your best and think unsexy thoughts.”

In both of the above techniques, even though it’s just a joke, it still breaks through those same levels of intimacy. It has the same effect, even though it’s just a joke!

The above tools are a good place to start, but it really is just the tip of the iceberg. Using some of the other techniques I teach can jump off comments like those into some super charged sexual framing!

For example, did you know that these sexual jokes are a perfect opportunity to escalate physically? Just throw it into the joke! Why not have the fake breakup conversation with her sitting on your lap? Why not give her a friendly hug then accuse her of copping a feel? The possibilities are limitless if you’re looking in the right places.

Of course they have to be in on the joke for this to work, so make sure you get on the same page with them as soon as possible.

You can read more from Love Systems at their official website by clicking here

Today instead of a podcast I have a video for you.

Recently I posted this up on you tube and some of the you tube flamers totally took things the wrong way, what a shock right!

You need to watch this and think about how your life would change if you could say whats on your mind.

When you are done watching answer this question…

• How would your life change if you could speak your mind?
• What would you say first and to whom?

Read more from David Wygant at his official website. Click here to jump over there for more videos and audio.

What is opening? Essentially, it’s the first 3-90 seconds of an interaction with a woman, whereby you begin a conversation. With opening, there is good news and bad news. The bad news is that opening can be very scary. Men are biologically predisposed to be incredibly nervous when starting a conversation with a woman that we don’t know. There are good evolutionary-biological reasons for this (in prehistoric times, approaching an unknown woman without permission or an introduction could lead to violent retaliation from her extended family), but that’s probably not a lot of comfort. So, that nervous feeling you get and the little voices that pop into your head looking for excuses NOT to talk to that beautiful woman are NORMAL. You need to learn to suppress them, but they are normal, and everyone – even Love Systems instructors – have them.

Some more bad news. We not only need to open, suppressing our built-in emotions, but we need to open well. Opening poorly can doom the rest of your interaction with a woman, and any other women who see it, making everything else you do a waste of time.

What’s the good news? With practice, it’s fairly easy. After learning from Love Systems, anyone should be opening successfully 99 times out of 100. Most experienced guys don’t even need to think about opening anymore.

The following tips will help get you started:

1. Have a canned opener ready – This is NOT a night at the improv. Going “situational” (e.g., “it sure is crowded here” or “that’s a nice purse”) will rarely work. Think about it. If a 22 year old woman has been going out 1 night per week since she was 18, and got approached 5 times in a night (and these numbers are major underestimations) she has been approached 1,000 times before you came along. Most of those 1,000 guys have tried something boring and situational. Use a canned opener – something that has been repeatedly tested with women and is proven to work. If you don’t have even one opener, I’d suggest Magic Bullets or the Love Systems Routines Manual. If you don’t have these invaluable texts, do yourself a favor and spend the money to get them and have your openers ready before you even go to the club, coffee shop, lounge, etc.

2. 3-2-1-GO! - When you see a girl you like: GO! Open her group immediately. Failure to do this will “stale you out.” Women like confidence. They don’t like to be stalked. They like spontaneity. Wandering around circling her, looking at her, trying to figure out what to do next will turn her off and creep her out. Get into the habit of seeing a group of people, and GOING IN. You’ve already got your opener ready, right?

3. Approach at an angle – Do not walk straight up to the group. Approach at an angle, tilt your head over your shoulders, and say your piece. Done correctly (and you almost need to see it to do it properly), you raise your value significantly by demonstrating that you do not need their attention or approval.

4. Smile on the approach - Don’t grin like a moron through the entire interaction, but smile as you walk to the set, and in the first few seconds of the opener. Smile with your eyes, not just your mouth. It may sound silly, but smiles can (and should) be practiced in front of a mirror.

5. Be loud enough - Everyone in the group should hear your opener. Your opener should be loud enough that it cuts across whatever conversations they are already having. Don’t shout, but make it socially awkward for them not to pay attention to your opener. Practice opening – loudly – from your chest, not your throat. If you put your hand on your chest, you should be able to talk in two ways: one in which you can feel the vibrations on your hand, and one where you can’t. Train yourself to speak in the way where you can feel the vibrations.

6. Don’t lean in – This is connected to being loud enough. You should project your voice enough that they can hear you from a normal standing position (or leaning slightly back).

7. Engage the group - Do NOT go into a group and talk to the woman you want to meet (the target). Engage the whole group. Pay LESS attention to the woman you are interested in.

8. Playfully tease the target – Teasing is a major tool for triggering attraction. The hotter the girl, the quicker you have to tease. It demonstrates higher social value, and women are attracted to men that they perceive as having higher social status than they perceive themselves to have. I’ve seen some of our instructors open with teasing, and many will begin teasing the target within the first 10 seconds of their openers.

Another crucial element of opening is ending it. The opener should be something short, to grab the group’s attention, and be emotionally neutral. As soon as you spot an opportunity, you should transition into get the girl attracted.

All these tips and techniques are covered in depth in Magic Bullets, which is considered the bible of seduction. Much more is covered in the book like how to attract women and how to figure out when the best time is to kiss a girl. Click here to find out more info about Magic Bullets.