I just read this article over at the NY Daily News debunking the myth that men think about sex more than other things. The article states that men think about food, sleep and sex equally. Do you?

A new study shows men are just as likely to think about food and sleep as they are about sex, putting an end to the stereotype that men only ever have one thing on their mind, LiveScience reported.

Researchers at Ohio State University asked 163 women and 120 men, all college-aged, to carry around a golf-stroke tally counter to track how often they had a health-related thought. Of that group, 60% of participants were asked to click the counter every time they thought about sex and the rest were asked to click it when thinking about food and sleep.

On average, the study found that women think about sex 10 times a day and men think about it 18 times a day–or roughly once every waking hour. However, men also paid proportionately greater attention than women to other health-related thoughts, like eating and sleeping.

The results, researchers said, disprove the popular urban legend that men think about sex every seven seconds.

“In other words, there was nothing special about sexual thoughts,” study researcher Terri Fisher told LiveScience. “Males thought more about any of the health-related thoughts compared to females, not just thoughts about sex.”

Last week I mentioned few myths of pickup artists. I could continue with the list but I guess it is time to move on.

In this post, I’m going to reveal a few things you should start using right away to skyrocket your success with women.

I know no one is interested to practice the general stuff or work on areas of life that are not directly related to pick up skills. As a coach my job is to give you the right information and not the information you think will work.

You have to take my word that your skills and techniques are incomplete without the following information below.

It’s like having the greatest car and the most powerful engine on the market but with no air in the tires…

Some of the stuff below might seem daunting, but trust me that it does not take long to master and see results from. After live coaching you will have a great control of these elements which act as a catalyst to generate massive amounts of attraction.

T.E.A.S.E

Tonality, Eye Contact, Animation, Sexual Escalation and Energy are the most powerful components to demonstrate power, confidence, dominance and stability. (Check out my video explanations on YouTube)

If you can master the right level of T.E.A.S.E you will have no problem opening and controlling groups of women. In fact T.E.A.S.E is so powerful that women will start opening you when you display them at the right level.

Positivity

Negativity is public enemy number one! If you are negative in general it will come across in your attitude. A positive person feels happy within and spreads positivity. Positivity is contagious and it makes people feel good: man, woman or child. As a result when women see a secure man in you they relax around you.

Be Social

Most students of pickup are not social. They go out only to pick up women. They would never waste time socializing but focus on the mission to pick up chicks. Do the opposite. Be social.

Take interest in people and their lives. Explore what they find beautiful about their life, work and hobbies. Practice this for a little while and soon you will become natural conversationalist and a charmer. You won’t need any routines. People will enjoy your company and onlookers will see you as the life of the party. Your value will go up and you will get laid like a rock star, along with some other important skills that will contribute.

Stop Acting Desperate

I meet these men who are super desperate about women. All they can do is talk about women. They spend hours on the internet stalking women’s profiles on social media sites. Every few minutes they will show you some woman’s photo and talk about how hot she is. The only conversation they can have is hot some chick was that they wanted to bang or they wish they could bang so and so.

Now all of us talk about women and our desires but if that piece dominates the majority of your conversation you are too desperate and it will reflect in your conversation with women. Relax and take it easy.Start playing sports, build some hobby, develop some interest and start talking other things. Get a life.

Focus On Lifestyle

Most students of pick up treat bars, clubs and shopping malls as a mecca for seduction. Their sole focus is to visit these places to approach women. Think different.

Instead of focusing all your energy to visit these places to meet women start building a lifestyle that is rich with women. Build a social circle and participate in activities that draw women to you and you will never have to leave your house to meet women.

Seducing women is way easier in a social circle and any environment outside of bars and clubs. Why focus making it tougher?

You may not find the kind of women you want in your neighborhood bars or at least lot of them at one time. Your social circle or activity can ensure you meet multiple women that meet your standards at any given time. Use bars and clubs as practice grounds then build a lifestyle to draw women to you. Seduce them with your newly discovered skill set.

Mindset

Focus on building the right mindset and approach to dating. Most schools out there position dating women as a hard and rough adventure. Dating and seduction is easier than driving a stick shift if you have the right mindset. Dating is normal and natural.

Why would anyone be single when they can be with a partner? Why would someone not talk to a woman who they find attractive? Why would anyone not try to sleep with a woman who they find sexy?

Desiring women and making an effort to have them is normal and natural adult male behavior. No need to shy away from it. Women want you to approach and seduce them but they also want you to do it right.

Watch a movie called “Hang ‘Em High” with Clint Eastwood.

In the movie there is a scene when Clint tries to kiss the woman. When she turns her face around instead of feeling rejected he probes as to why the woman did not go for the kiss. He assumes that it was only natural for them to kiss and something must be wrong that she refused to kiss. So he leans back and simply asks “what’s the matter” and we finally find out that she was raped and is now weary of men. Yes attraction and seduction is natural. What is more natural is acting on your attraction for a particular woman and trying to make her yours.

Yes, build the right mindset and seduction will become easy. Sign up for Live Training and let me bring you up to speed with women. With my coaching you will experience a similar level of success that most men dream of BUT never accomplish. 3 out of 4 guys I trained last year ended up sleeping with women within a week of my training.

Read the Social Mastery Book and discover the right mindset and practices to approach and win beautiful women over. If you are interested in One Night Stands check out my DVDs on that topic also.

Honestly man if my coaching and products can’t get you laid nothing will.

That’s why I offer a 100% money back guarantee because I know how to get success to my students. So stop wasting time and take a chance. You will be glad you did. My past students verify it with their testimonials and reviews.

by Magic, Lead Coach for Attraction Methods

I recently spoke at a Dating Conference in New York City. After the conference many students came and chatted after and I realized that there are lot guys who are victims of common “Pick Up Myths”.

I’ve compiled the absolutely damaging and most importantly TIME WASTING myths that most pickup artists try to convince you are FACTS.

In this two part email I’m going to reveal what those will only discover after being infield for a LONG TIME. I will first discuss ten myths that you need to ignore. Then I will hand you specific ways to dramatically jump your game so you start succeeding with beautiful women.

Let’s get started on the BIGGEST myths of pickup…

MYTH #1: Beautiful women get approached all the time

Every time I taught a workshop or give a seminar, which was a TON of them last year, I made it a point to ask the guys in attendance to raise their hands if they approach “9-10s” on a regular basis. Only one or two students out of hundreds raise their hands.

I know it sounds NUTS that beautiful women get approached LESS than other women, however…

I want you to talk to any good looking women and they will tell you that they hardly get approached in any meaningful way by men.

MYTH #2: Having a wingman is a good

Many big dating experts say that a wingman is an asset that will add value to The WORST thing you can do to limit your success with women is to have a wingman.

If the wingman does not know what he is doing he will destroy ALL interactions.

If he is better than you he will get all the attention and you will be home empty handed… yet again.

MYTH #3: Using negs to bring a woman’s value down

A light insult wrapped in the package of a compliment is a neg. Negs are used by pick-up artists to gain and maintain the attention of women who possess uncommon beauty.

The conventional wisdom is that these women are immune to standard compliments. The fact is that a neg will only work on insecure women and genuine compliments are NEVER refused or disregarded.

It’s a HUGE myth that hurts your game.

I only date women who have self-esteem. I let them know that I admire them for who they are by giving them genuine compliments. It never fails if done correctly.

This does not make me “needy” or desperate. It makes me a confident guy who goes after what he loves. You don’t need to bring down a woman’s value if you’re confident and have a great, fun vibe.

MYTH #4: Nice guys don’t get laid

It’s the shy guy who has trouble getting laid. I am a nice guy because I do not lie or cheat but I get laid on regular basis. You do not have to play games or tricks to pull a woman into your sack. You just have to act like a man to seduce her.

MYTH #5: Women don’t want to have sex

Sure, every woman craves to go back home to play with her rabbit. Women are just as sexual as men, sometimes I wonder if they aren’t MORE sexual than men.

They only sleep with men that are sexual, non-judgmental and safe. If you know how to demonstrate the combination of those special three you will be fine.

MYTH #6: Amog competition

Amog refers to “Alpha Male Other Guys”. I have personally seen women walk away when two guys fought over her.

Trying to show off makes you come across as an insecure guy.

You can learn the best way to still get the girl without getting into competition with other men. Another guy talking to my target is a bonus for me. She will now realize what a catch I am. THINK DIFFERENT!

MYTH #7: Build your value during your interaction

Either you have value or you don’t. If you are valuable then you have no need to demonstrate it – you will reflect it.

I’m going to reveal my best SECRET for demonstrating very high value. Instead of trying to BUILD my value – I always LOWER my value.

I tell women up front that I am broke, losing hair, and can’t speak proper English.

I get laid all the time.

I love when another guy brags his success to a woman in front of me. He comes across as trying WAY too hard and makes me appear relaxed and confident in who I am.

Use this tool with great enjoyment. You’ll notice the difference immediately.

MYTH #8: Hide your intentions

There is a popular belief among top dating coaches that if women find out early on that you want them they will run away.

Many of these coaches call this “indirect game”. They believe it will help you fly under the radar so you can snag the women down the road without her ALERTED to your REAL intentions.

I let every woman know that I want THEM.

This is exactly what I teach my students. No wonder 3 out of 4 students I trained last year got laid within a week of my training. And no wonder other companies are still struggling to get their COACHES laid. (That’s a fact)

Don’t hide your intentions. If nothing else women will be flattered that you find them highly desirable.

MYTH #9: It takes hours to get laid

Seduction happens very fast. You can spend hours before you go for the kiss but you don’t have to.

If you want to have a one night stand there is no way on this planet that you have to wait 3 hours before initiating the kiss. You gotta go for the kiss within the first 30 minutes and pull her for sex in an hour.

MYTH #10: Get her to a private place before you kiss

Never do isolate a woman from her friends unless the woman asks for it. Women definitely have an unspoken AND sometimes VERY spoken, competition. When you go for the kiss in front of her friends she feels rewarded and validated.

Make sure to win all of her friends before you go for the kiss so no one objects. If her friends like you, then your girl will have no problem getting sexual with you.

MYTH #11: Setting A Date In Advance (Time Bridge)

The concept of “time bridge” is to set up a date 7 days in advance because women are busy and they make plans.

I got some news for you: if a woman does not enjoy your company she won’t show up for the date just because she said she would. And if she really cares to be with you she will cancel her plans to join you.

Learn how to generate unstoppable and uncontrollable attraction so she wants to be with you and you won’t need any time bridging.

Stop right away if you have been using any of these. You now need to learn the CORRECT and POWERFUL NATURAL WAYS to attract and get women. You need to create the right mindset and practices that draw stunning but NORMAL and SECURE women into your life.

If you haven’t already, go download my new book Social Mastery and be reading and mastering these skills WITHIN minutes:

Click Here to Read More About My Social Mastery Book

After you’ve read Social Mastery you should take the next step, and sign up for Live Coaching to let me show you how getting women is fun, and easier than you thought.

These are skills that last a LIFETIME, not just till the next seminar when other dating coaches and pickup artists will try and get you to waste your hard earned money on.

Seduction is simple and needs no hard techniques. It needs a man with social skills and balls of steel! =)

Do you live in a small town?

Do you live in a country town?

I just spent three days in a beautiful sea-side village in Northern England called St. Annes-on-Sea. It was rich with culture and history, and it’s probably typical of many villages along the coast in the UK.

But it made me think…

There are probably 20 or so beautiful, eligible women that live in town’s like this. That’s it. Tops.

If you’re learning to meet and attract women then do yourself a BIG BIG FAVOR and MOVE… to a bigger city.

Atleast over 1 million.

It may not be your style.

It may not be your taste.

You may not even have work there yet.

Well…

Get a job there, and MOVE!

It’s hard in larger cities to meet eligible women, let alone a small town with only 20.

That’s all I have to say… I loved my time there, but I would go CRAZY if I had to live there without a beautiful companion in my bed…

Before St. Annes, I was in London for a few days, and stayed with Richard La Ruina of PUATraining. (Thanks Richard!)

He’s got some crazy good game!

Last weekend, we went to a few of these high-end London clubs and lounges around Mayfair and Chelsea with his friends. Places where you need to know people to get into. I got some numbers and dates out of it which was fun. I don’t generally like clubs, but this visit was a special occasion to practice more.

Anyways, Richard told me about some great new things he’s got going on. He’s got a new DVD set with AFC Adam Lyons which I saw a few clips of in production, really brilliant stuff. Adam also has a few more inexpensive bootcamps in the USA this year, check them out here:

http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/bootcamps/

Richard’s products are top notch and I know many of you guys probably haven’t looked at his stuff yet because your sick of the same old PUA crap.

Well, I think you’ll find his stuff works and in a natural way:

http://tinyurl.com/ldqcbw

Anyways, that’s my update for now!

Donovan

Read this post, and tell me if this seems like a guy you should learn anything from, let alone one of the most important skills in the world to master:

CACHED GOOGLE COPY

Neil Strauss and Ghita from Ideagasms (ex-instructor)

So the question is, if Stephane is someone who reacts to a breakup in this way, should you really be trusting his opinion on much of anything? Sure, we aren’t perfect, but that is his business’s blog… Seems extremely irrational and probably a guy you would meet at a party and later would say, “Who the FUCK was that WEIRDO?” and you all would laugh at the after-party afterwords. Don’t be that guy. Please.

In the last week, two more prime-time scripted television shows ripped off The Game and Mystery’s techniques. And of course perverted the message of the whole thing.

For those who haven’t been keeping score, last year, CSI Miami aired an episode about pickup artists with rival workshops, an undercover reporter infiltrating them, and murderous results.

Then there was Twins (the Sara Gilbert show), in which Gilbert’s nerdy high school friend returns transformed after having written a book about picking up women using techniques like negs.

And on a recent Ugly Betty episode, she interviews the writer of a book called Tap That: How to Score With Hot Bitches, which advocates the A.S.S. approach to meeting women (Approach, Subdue, Score).

TV writers seem especially fond of using use pua jargon like neg and peacocking, which one of us should probably get the Oxford English dictionary to include.

Anyway, I thought TV writers had their fill of The Game after these shows.

But then, the other week, on Big Bang Theory, one of the nerds, Howard, decides to try peacocking and negs, and strikes out miserably.

And then last week, on Criminal Minds, investigators chase after a man who’s taken a pickup workshop with a Mystery clone named Raven, and is now seducing and murdering innocent clubgoing women.

Do you sense a theme here?

It’s that the game is for creeps, losers, and killers.

And this kinda pisses me off.

Why?

Because it shames men out of seeking help for their issues. Help that could bring them out out of their social shells. Help that could make them much happier with themselves. Help that will, for most of them, lead at some point to marriage and children – and, in the meantime, lead to new experiences and friendships, not to mention some fun, consensual late nights.

The truth is, from the thousands upon thousands of successful AND botched pickups I’ve witnessed: The game poses a far greater threat to the guy than to the girl. And not one TV show has captured this. The real victims of the game are the guys who get so into it, they lose themselves. They lose the things that are special about them as individuals, they lose their direction in life, they lose their ability to relate normally to people.

And that is a minority of guys. Most are smart enough to get it, and blossom into amazingly cool, fun, successful guys. When it comes to violence in society, which these shows love to attribute to PUAs as an exciting plot twist, if you read the news, some of the most shocking crimes in society have been caused by men who have pent-up sexual desires but have either been rejected or just have no way to attain them. So they grow dark and bitter and hateful, and eventually lash out. Other instances of violence
(like school shootings and suicides) have been caused by people who felt like social outcasts. And other instances (like domestic abuse) stem from an attempt to take control over the victim.

(Of course, some people are just crazy, fucked-up sociopaths.)

The point is: when taught and learned correctly, the game socializes men.

And the more socialized people we have in this world, the less anti-social behavior we’ll see.

If fewer people feel powerless around and invalidated by others, than fewer people will resort to trying to get what they believe to be the upper hand through violence. So, rather than leading to more violence in the world, the game is at least a step toward leading guys to seek help with their issues and pointing to other attainable solutions.

Because the game is not about wearing a funny hat and insulting women.

It’s about becoming your best self and making the best possible first impression you can. It’s about understanding the rules that people use to make social and sexual and professional choices and alliances, and working effectively within that system. It’s about attracting others by learning to master yourself, rather than trying to control them. And it’s also about having fun when you go out, rather than cowering timidly in the corner.

Though the seduction community has its faults and shortcomings, I often think about what my life would have been like if I never discovered it. And I would have died having missed out on so much
of life, because I was so scared and timid and uncomfortable and mute around women and strangers.

And what worries me about these shows is that, psychologically, they make guys who feel socially ostracized feel even MORE ostracized and ashamed for trying to do something to change it.

So, in conclusion, we’re all going to have to band together and change the tide on this in television dramas and sitcoms. (Thanks to VH1, at least this is getting a better depiction on the reality show front.) Maybe we can make a show about a crime-solving team of pickup artists, who use their social skills to make connections and get information from people. Or maybe not.

But at least we can all do our part in encouraging anyone – male or female – to take whatever positive steps are necessary towards becoming a better, more attractive, more successful person who’s fully and fearlessly engaged in life.

Thanks for listening,
Neil Strauss

Got an interesting, grammatically challenged email today.

you know you men can’t have it both ways – men think chicks are baby hungry, ring grabbin blaaa blaaaa in next breath men look for women with long brown hair as to them they will make the best baby producers let’s see if i got this right, if it’s the fuckin mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn lookin for a piece it is ok but if it’s the woman lookin then it’s not………… give me damn break same ole double standard it’s ok if it’s the man’sssssssss idea but god forbid if it’s the females you men should all stay single and just frequent the whore houses. then all would be happy, women would have their own money and men could get their rocks off without being TIEDDDDDD DOWNNNN just one more nail in my I HATE MEN coffin

My response:

Men and women are equal but different. Deal with it.

Peacocking like that, get’s you girls like this:

Remember when instructors were dropping like flies over at Charisma Arts? Wayne Elise (Juggler) apparently had some personal conflicts that needed resolving. First, Christian Hudson, his co-founder and manager who left, then instructor after instructor for over 2 years. I got an ex-instructor Dimitri to write a small expose on what the inside story was.

Farewell to Juggler

It’s been almost a year since I ran the last public workshop as the dating instructor represented by Juggler and Charisma Arts.

I’ve served as my own manager ever since, and yet I still receive emails from people who ask me how come I’m no longer with Juggler’s company.

Recently things went a bit more public as a few online posts commented on the recurrent mysterious disappearances of Charisma Arts’ instructors (the posts were triggered by the split between Juggler and Dan, the instructor who had managed to stay with Charisma Arts the longest, almost from the beginning of the company.) It was counted that no less than twenty people vanished from Charisma Arts within the last two years.

Donovan asked me if I would like to comment. I agreed, but I needed a a little more time to think over what I should say. This is my belated attempt to share my view.

Having been at different times a Charisma Arts’ client, instructor-in-training, instructor, senior instructor, and finally having been banished from that company (like pretty much everyone else who came before me and a few people after), I believe I have deserved the right to form the opinion on the matter.

I keep in touch with some of the guys who had at some point associated with Wayne “Juggler” Elise. It’s true that many of them have the grudge against the man. I understand these guys all have personal reasons to feel the way they feel.

But I do believe they are not always being fair.

Great American thinker Joseph Campbell once remarked that when someone accuses us of being bad, what they usually mean is that we are not doing something they want us to do for them. No one is ever bad. Someone whose dark side I’ve had a misfortune to experience may be a great friend to someone else. As a businessman, I know I can’t please all the people who think they have better ideas of how I should run my business. I’ve experienced a questionable privilege of having to fire two of my own contract employees in the last couple of months, so I know sometimes things like that are inevitable.

I like and respect Wayne “Juggler” Elise. Please keep in mind that I’m saying this even despite, technically, having been bluntly discarded from Juggler’s company without any reasonable explanation, so I believe that coming from me such statement should gain additional value.

My life would have been very different if I hadn’t met Juggler.

A few years ago I hit the rock bottom. Lonely, emotionally drained, brought down by a bitter divorce, stuck in a lousy job, I was slowly killing myself with alcohol and two-three packs of cigarettes daily.

Today I own a successful business, keep in shape, and have a relationship with a great woman who not only motivates me to become better at anything I do, but understands and accepts the unique challenges imposed by my profession of a dating guru. I feel I am finally living a meaningful life. I help men to meet women they deserve. I learn new things every day. I don’t smoke, and I only drink an occasional James Bond-ish martini when I’m hanging out at a night-game venue with my students.

I think I would have managed to put my life back together no matter what, but I would probably have much harder time doing so. The way it was, I have met Wayne “Juggler” Elise and became a Charisma Arts instructor.

My impression of Wayne Elise: his first and last name can be rearranged to spell “a senile yew”.

Just kidding. Seriously though, my impression of Juggler: the man believes in what he is teaching. I had never witnessed Juggler say or do anything that wasn’t one of the “Juggler method” techniques. He often seems to act goofy; sometimes he appears grim and detached from reality; and yet somehow he manages to blend these extremes into the elaborate, meticulously controlled seductive behavior projected at everyone and no one in particular. Charisma Arts disciples often try to imitate him. Most fail. You have to be the Juggler to be the Juggler.

I had never expected my collaboration with Juggler to last forever: on the very day when I became his independent contractor, Juggler had terminated his business association with the company’s co-founder Christian Hudson. Seeing Christian’s in a state of deep shock and bewilderment on that memorable evening prompted me to remain alert, and I promised myself to act as a true Buddhist and to not develop any attachments. I was with the company to do my job, not to take sides in any domestic conflict. As I kept teaching, I saw many instructors and business managers come and go. One day someone’s photo and bio would just suddenly disappear from the company website, and none of the remaining people would ever mention that person again. Eventually I suppose we all grew desensitized to an occasional vanishing act. (I’m not saying this wasn’t weird, I’m just saying after a while there wasn’t anything new about it anymore). That’s why it didn’t catch me by surprise when one evening (just a couple of days after a memo Juggler sent to everyone in the company, praising my performance as his top-earning instructor) I discovered that my photo and bio were no longer on Charisma Arts website, either.

Why do I keep teaching men how to meet women, even though Charisma Arts is firmly in my past?

I believe I have things to share. There are lives I can improve. That’s why on the next day after being cut off from Juggler’s agency, I’ve launched my enterprise that began rather academically as Modern Courtship, and is now transforming into GetATen. I do not expect my business to become a household name, and yet I’m pleased to see that many people find the stuff I teach useful.

I am grateful to Wayne Elise for making the choice that forced me to seek my own path. If he hadn’t fired me, I might have never found courage to “go it alone”. Now that I know how much fun it is to run my own business, what a gratifying experience it is to accept the undivided responsibility for my student’s happiness, I wouldn’t ever want to have it any other way.

I am grateful to Wayne Elise for having offered me the temporary alliance and for having motivated me to be useful to others. I think he is a talented man, and I know that he can achieve success in any endeavor he decides to pursue in the future. I remain friends with those of the current Charisma Arts instructors whom I met while working with that company. We meet and hang out together every once in a while when we have a chance. They are smart guys and I can see that they understand Juggler’s ideology very well. I do think Wayne Elise is charming, even in his mistakes, and I do believe Charisma Arts deserves more credit than it’s given. I think it’s a good place to start learning the dating basics.

I loved being a Charisma Arts instructor: riding my Ducati from city to city, staying in cheap hotels, watching my students gain skills and confidence with women. Now, on the other hand, my life consists mainly of riding my Ducati from city to city, staying in cheap hotels, and watching my students gain skills and confidence with women. Only these days I can set my students free from any brand-imposed limitation: I enjoy seeing them unpredictable and fluid as quicksilver.

Dimitri Vorontzov

Read Part 2: The Truth Behind Charisma Arts: The Sequel

Nick Savoy over at Love Systems recently had a guy making unrealizable demands on his time, etc. We all have that one person who has a divine right to receive special support from you whenever they need it. After reading the hilarious post that chronicles it, I realized something profound.

Do I make unrealizable demands of women?

Do we call women a “slut” or “low quality” in our minds, if they don’t agree to meet up with us at a specific time or place. They say they are busy… is that an excuse or could she be genuine? Sure, there are flakes, but let’s not lose out calm, collected senses because a girl doesn’t immediately jump on to our date requests. Keep calm and let it roll of you and give her some space, and hit her up again in a week.

Here’s Nick’s craziness experience:

Today had some amusement. There’s this guy that was paying us $8.50 a month to be allowed to have his website in his signature on The Attraction Forums, who’s been with us for a few months. He’s been banned for spamming before but promised better behavior. Anyway, on Monday afternoon, I get some email about an “IP ban”. 31 minutes later, I get a followup email. It gets funnier from there. Here are the emails.

Monday – 2:46pm

It’s [name deleted], your buddy, haha.
Anyway, I’d like to get the IP unbanned off my Address.
Let me know if you need any info to do that.

Yours truly,

Monday – 3:17pm (31 minutes later)

Hi, what’s the deal?

I responded saying I would look into it. I was out of the office all on Tuesday. Here’s what came through:

Tuesday – 8:18am

You not getting back to me promptly.
I really can’t let this continue for more than a day.
Could I please help you resolve this and get it over with?

This is such a trivial matter, it’s just a forum!

Tuesday – 11:09am

Nick?

Tuesday – 7:13pm

I find your behavior as very rude.
You know I’m asking you and asking you to help me out and you take your sweet fancy fucking time.
It’s discusting and I’m discusted.

How can’t I be?

Now you’re probably going to make an excuse or say you get 20 emails a day or whatever, but I can’t buy into it.
You also may say, “just take your money back, we’re through”

But you know what, that’d be bullshit too.

So please, get back to me. I will not ask again or I will contact whoever needs to be contacted to get this resolved.

Yours truly,

Tuesday, 7:20pm (7 minutes later, and 1 day, 4 hours after his original message)

By the way, this is very unprofessional of you to do.
If you’re a real CEO, you would help me out right away, not let this go on for weeks like it has.

Wednesday, 8:43am

This is very frustrating and I’m very embarrased that I’m having to contact you this much to remove a “forum IP ban”.
This should not be taking this long, not by any normal business practice measure..

My reply, Wednesday 9:33am

Hi [name],

I’m sorry that I am not going to be able to offer you minute-by-minute support. I am going to have your money refunded [ed: we even refunded him his previous months] and we can go our separate ways, and therefore our business process will no longer get in your way.

Best,

Nick Savoy

Wednesday 9:53am:

I do not want my money refunded.
I would like to get back on your forum.
Don’t make this anymore difficult than it already is.

And again, two minutes later (Wednesday, 9:55am) – about 1.5 days since the original email:

Sir, you do realize that it has been over one week since I’ve even had any contact with you?
You must acknowledge that that is a very long time for a small matter like getting an IP ban removed.

My reply, Wednesday 9:59am

Hey man, it’s a business decision. It’s our company and we’ll let whoever we want onto the forums. It’s clear that you expect a level of service and responsiveness that is just something beyond our capabilities.

I am very sorry we’ve disappointed you. Giving you a full refund is more than fair. By terminating our relationship, this avoids you being disappointed in us again.

This decision has already been made. I’m sorry if you are disappointed. Please let me know if you don’t get a refund by the end of the week.

Best,

Nick Savoy

Wednesday, 11:12am:

You have humiliated me.
I just needed to get my IP ban removed.
And you’re being a fucking jerk.

I will make sure to spread the word on your poor company practice in my reviews.

I think you’re more vile than dirt.
Don’t candy coat your e-mails with “Best, Savoy” it is such a phony way of communicating. Be real.

I will not let this go.

This is where I obviously should have dropped it. But it was starting to provide comic relief on an otherwise annoying day, so, avoiding anything offensive like signing my email “Best, Savoy”, I soldiered on…

My reply, Wednesday 11:27am

No humiliation intended. We just can’t keep up with the service levels you expect. Rather than have you disappointed in the future, it is best to admit that we cannot provide the service level you expect. How on earth are you humiliated?

Savoy

Wednesday, 11:31am (4 minutes later):

Sir, let me make it clear.
I do not ask for any crazy about of service from you.
I just ask for the ban on my IP to be removed on the forums.
I have been in the IT industry, I know that is a very easy task to do.
After this problem solved, there is nothing more I need you guys for so you won’t need to worry or deal with my “levels of service”

You can say, “well, then why use our service if you don’t like our business practice?”

Because your online forum has been so valuable to me and my career and picking up women.
I have yet to find a “Forum” like it.

Please reply,

[name]

And then, 3 minutes later, Wednesday at 11:34am, which seems identical except for the subject line:

Subject Line: *revised*

Sir, let me make it clear.
I do not ask for any crazy amount of service from you.
I just ask for the ban on my IP to be removed on the forums.
I have been in the IT industry, I know that is a very easy task to do.
After this problem solved, there is nothing more I need you guys for so you won’t need to worry or deal with my “level of service expectations”

In response, you can say, “well, then why use our service if you don’t like our business practice?”

Because your online forum has been so valuable to me and my career and picking up women.
I have yet to find a “Forum” like it.

Please reply,

…which I declined to do. Eliciting this mail on Wednesday, 5:32pm:

You know it’s funny, you were fast to refund my payment but not fast to remove the IP ban.
Get lost, you’re just like the rest of them.

(the “rest of them” those awful people who give refunds too quickly…that’s a real problem in the world these days. Just the other day, I got a refund on my phone bill and it came in 5 days. Much, much too fast. I was livid. I’ve already written 17 emails of complaint)

My reply, Wednesday 6:07pm

Wait a minute…you’re COMPLAINING that we were TOO FAST to REFUND you?

This has to be a first.

Dude, I have no idea what an IP ban is, how to set one, or how to change one. You emailed me about this Monday night. You mailed me 28 minutes later to ask me why I hadn’t done anything. There were 5+ more emails by the time I checked email Tuesday night (I was out of the office all day Tuesday), most of which were insulting. Seriously, I don’t have the time for that. Or to look up what the hell an IP ban is, if you’re going to be rude.

So I think this ends our conversation. I’m genuinely sorry it didn’t work out. I hope you find a forum more suited to your needs.

Nick

Epilogue: It turns out – when I talked to the forum admins – that no one knowingly banned his IP address – we’re still not sure what he was talking about. In the admin’s words, “you have to do some seriously shady stuff to get your IP banned”. Though it’s unclear what the problem was, because he used 20+ different IPs to post (nothing wrong with that in itself) and his account was active and accessible.

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