Don’t worry about chocolate this year boys! According to a recent Walletpop article, women are preferring sex to chocolates this Valentines Day.

Apparently, this new study says some interesting stuff:

The study, by Saatchi Wellness (an offshoot of the PR firm Saatchi & Saatchi) and Time Inc.’s Health surveyed nearly 1,000 women in the U.S., asking them if they’d rather have a box of chocolates each week for the next five years, or sex every week for the next five years. 73% chose sex.

And the last point is a funny one:

The study also concluded that women in general were treating themselves better than they had during the depths of the recession.

• 36% of respondents said they are putting a greater priority on their appearance.
• 22% are buying more anti-aging products.
• 48% intend to work out more.
• 48% are buying more vitamins.
• 52% are committed to having more fun. This probably ties back to the findings in the first paragraph of this post.

In all my years of coaching men how to succeed in online dating the one thing that always amazes me is the amount of men who still cut and paste a canned opener and send it to a woman.

Guys: woman know when you cut and paste and send something, it shows that you did not read their profile and the first thing they think about is that you’re lazy and not very clever.

The correct online opener is no different than the perfect bar, party or supermarket opener. Don’t just send off 100 emails to women and expect to get a response back. Most men who use the shotgun approach tend to never ever receive responses.

So what is a guy to do to succeed in the competitive world of online dating?

1. Keep in mind that the women have all the power. What works offline is going to work online. You need to be different and clever just like you do when you approach a woman in a bar or market. It really is all about having fun. To make your profile rock, instead of saying: “I love to travel”, share a story about one of the places that you have traveled to. For example: “I love the Italian coast and when I was in Positano I had the best Lemon cello in the world. When we speak, ask me about the view.”

Why is this better? Because it will make them picture what that was like and it will peek their interest and it will be something that they can ask you when they are responding to your profile. You need to create an emotional response so they feel compelled to write to you or write you back.

2. So now that you have spruced up your profile, how do you get their attention and distinguish yourself from all the other guys online? This is the easy part but it will take some work. Instead of burning through 100 profiles and sending out a shotgun mass email that does not work, you need to pick 10 to 15 women at the beginning of the week that you want to get to know. The reason is that each week their emotions and dating moods change. Plus, if you do it right, you will get a good response rate and have a few dates that week. Now comes the work. You need to read through their profiles and find the fun tidbits. For example, if the both of you have a dog, you can send this email:

Subject: If not for us…our dogs will never be able to meet?

Body: My dog is really visual and when she saw a picture of yours her stubby tail could not stop thumping! We need to hook them up, plus I have to get her off Dogdate.com; she is becoming addicted!

Lets talk about this,
Your Name

There are few reasons why this will work besides the fact that it is original and funny. What you are doing is making fun of yourself here. Men are visual and you are telling her that your dog is visual which will get a laugh from her immediately. You want to make her laugh. She is getting all these horrible emails from all of cut and paste men and yours comes in with some originality and creativity. It shows that you tried to get to know who she is by reading her profile.

Now lets say that you or she does not have a dog. This is also easy you need to read her profile and pick out a fun tidbit. If she says that she is spontaneous and adventurous what I like to do is challenge them on that. Women like their minds to be challenged.

Subject: So you say…

Body: …that you are adventurous and spontaneous. What was the last adventurous thing you did? And if you are really spontaneous why don’t you send me your number so we can talk. 5 minutes on the phone and we will know if we have chemistry.

Lets talk today.

I dare you.

Women like a man that is bold and one that challenges her mind. You are also getting to the point and creating intrigue. She will wonder what you are all about. Now why do I use the … on the subject line? I use it so they feel compelled and intrigued to open it. It is all about what may come after the … that makes them curious. You need to realize that most women get tons of emails from guys so you need to get that email opened.

3. Stay on a site. This is by far the best advice. Stop jumping from site to site every 2 weeks and think that you are going to get different results. You need to realize that women will check you out and read your profiles and it may take a few emails to get them to respond. They may be dating someone else the first time you contacted them and they may have been intrigued but they were too busy with other things or you got them on a bad day. I always tell my clients that it is ok to lob another email in a few weeks later. Now don’t send the same one find something new to connect with her about.

It is all about being persistent and I have found in all my years of advising people on the internet that the ones who stay on a site and are persistent will be the ones that get all the great dates. You need to be patient some weeks you will have a lot of responses other weeks we may not get much of anything but if you use some of the pointers above you will increase your odds every day.

Check out David Wygant’s online dating program (which I personally use for the best and most carefree results) by clicking it here

How was your Halloween? Hopefully you got down and dirty with a beautiful lady (or ladies). If not, let’s get rolling on those skills!

If you had a so-so night, then you might need to bring things back into perspective and learn the essentials again.

Here are a few reviews to check out that will help get you motivated, and out of your funk:

1. Double Your Dating

Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo has been around for quite awhile. A new version of his eBook was released last year with some very good updates. It’s about cocky and funny, attraction isn’t a choice and not being a wussy. If you’ve never heard of those sayings, read my review immediately.

Check out my review of Double Your Dating

2. Magic Bullets

The definitive guide for routine-based game. Do you have a hard time remembering what to say, or often get nervous when talking to women? Magic Bullets and the Routines Manual by Love Systems offer step-by-step routines, body language secrets, and things to get attraction pumped up!

Check out my review of Magic Bullets, and the Routines Manual.

3. Attraction Formula

Paul Janka is New York City’s casanova. He has gotten the numbers of thousands of women and knows what it takes to get them into your bed. His methods are direct, unapologetic and deliver results.

Check out my review of Attraction Formula

Read those reviews, and post your thoughts in the comments below.

Excerpt from a recent editorial from Askmen.com.

The recent trend toward men with androgynous characteristics may be due to women’s subconscious rejection of the previously celebrated alpha males. Some PUAs already wear the Adam Lambert-manliner. Is the next logical step to blend more feminine attributes into their alpha to make it more easily digestible? Or possibly the same techniques may appear fresh again if presented in a bumbling Seth Rogen-esque manner? The bromantic comedy boom could inspire a new wave of PUAs that look like AFCs. You could be a Trojan Horse of seduction. The woman thinks she’s gotten the gift of a new unintimidating male friend when suddenly a secret chamber bursts open and from it pours sublime seduction skills. Before she knows it, she’s Katherine Heigl in Knocked Up (hopefully without the pregnancy part).

Can you predict the next generation of PUAs and their new bag of tricks? Or do you think the era described in The Game is still in full effect?

Post your thoughts about this article in the form of a comment below.

The stock market is down 300 points…

Unemployment reaches 10% in California…

Foreclosures are at an all-time high…

The housing market is down 35%…

Let me ask you something: how do you feel about all of the headlines these days? Are you using this as your newest excuse for not going out to meet people? Or not to purchase things that you really desire that will improve your life?

Do you know what I’ve discovered? This is something that I really believe: the economy is not really as bad as we say it is – the economy is only as bad as we think it is because most of you are buying into the hype.

It’s that poverty mentality. It’s all of you saying to yourselves, “Well, I may still have a job but the economy is bad right now, and I’m not going to do the things I want to do. I’m going to wait for the economy to get better. I’m going to wait for President Obama to tell me that the economy is better.”

In reality, you have to start taking charge of your own economy. You are your own government.

Do you still have a job? Are you safe at your job? Does your job still pay you what it did last year? Are you managing your bills like you always have? Are you paying things on time? Are you buying things you can afford?

The economy keeps getting worse because the people who find themselves in a good financial situation (which is 90% of us!) stop spending money and push the economy into a further funk.

And this becomes your new excuse. It’s unbelievable. As humans, we are always looking for excuses not to progress. We come from a fear-based society.

So let me ask all of you a question today. How is the economic downturn REALLY affecting you? And be honest – are you really just using it as an excuse?

Life is all about mindset. What you believe is what you are going to attract. And if you have a poverty mindset, you’re going to be the next one fired during these poor economic times. If you truly believe that the world is coming to an end, it will.

I don’t believe that the world is coming to an end. My business is fine. I love my clients. Money comes in, people buy products and come to bootcamps, and I give it my all.

But it really amazes me how many people have that poverty consciousness – they’re watching every last dime thinking that it will actually be their last dime.

You attract exactly what you are. You have to understand that life is about abundance. If you live an abundant lifestyle, you’ll have an abundant lifestyle. I’m not talking about going out there and spending more money than you make – I think that’s ridiculous.

But the “doom and gloom” people – which a lot of you are – tend to really think that life is going to come to an end.

Do you remember Y2K? How many of you thought that the world was going to come to an end when the clock struck midnight, bringing in the year 2000? How many of you actually believed that everything would go haywire? That you wouldn’t be able to get your money out of the bank? That things wouldn’t work anymore?

I knew a person during that time that actually quit his job, moved to the mountains of Arizona and traded all of his money for gold because he was afraid of leaving his money in the bank. This is the same thing all over again. People buy into the “doom and gloom” because they live in a world full of fear and excuses.

What would you rather live in: a world of abundance and positive energy or a world based on fear?

For those of you who have never checked out my No Excuses and Self Love audio programs, I think it’s time you do. And by the way, if you don’t like it, you can return it within 90 days. I truly believe that you’re going to love it – because I practice abundance all of the time!

This is a selfish post. My good friend Tyson was in Brazil a few months back recording the latest season of Survivor. Cool guy, and I don’t know if he wins or not, he hasn’t told me. Damn NDAs!

If you’ve got a minute, and what to see a true natural and alpha-male check out his video and vote for him:

http://www.cbs.com/collections/survivor_tocantins_cast/index.php?week=1&r=n&playvid=6#6

After browsing Hot Chicks with Douchebags, I realized that there are many more douchebags out there than I realized.

These tactics are not for the weak hearted. They can lead to the douche really having a miserable time. If you’ve put up with constant cockblocking and general douchebag behavior from this certain guy, then use these tactics at your own discretion.

1. Anything that causes him to demonstrate maturity. eg. Get him to meet their mom, set em loose and say her mom loves it when men give her attention. Her mom won’t be putting in a good word. (More single women go out with their moms these days, kinda crazy)

2. Anything that puts him up to competition with other men. eg. Take a girls purse that’s sitting on the edge of a bar and push it near the douche. In 90% of the cases, the douche wont help. Call him out on it in a pleasant way, after helping the target.

3. Lives in an imaginary world thinking he’s all that. eg. Challenge him to a pickup challenge on something that is a suicide mission. Convince him that he can do it and that he has mad skills and it’s impossible to fail. Pick a woman that has a massive ripped boyfriend that’s a true alpha. The douche doesn’t have social calibration enough to stop him from doing it.

I’ve been visiting a website for the last several months called Hot Chicks With Douchebags, it’s a funny blog that chronicles the Douche/Hottie craze.

We in the community of course know why some douche’s get the action, but its also our God-given right to make fun of them.

I’ve had the book for a week, and the reactions by girls are AWESOME!

I’m putting together an extensive directory of community blogs that guys like you will want to visit.

I’d love your help accomplishing this.

Enter the blog’s name and URL in the comments below. Thanks!

I don’t know about you guys, but Alex (Real Social Dynamics executive coach) thought the video he uploaded was “natural game”. What am I missing?

From the RSDNation forums:

Alex said:

Guys… i would interested what you think of this.

This is an example of the blueprint in action. But an extreme example of how natural game works.

I want to know what guys in the forum think of when they see this.

Do you think im shit? do you think the girl was drunk? Do you think i paid her?

Im interested in honest opinions from everyone.

RSD Nation Responses:

You’ve gotta have real guts to do that! Hahaha damn
The girl didn’t seem drunk ..
If you had been starting to makeout that easily it would have been sick

Great stuff

I think some of the guys in the other post were confusing what a drunk girl acts like with what a girl who is intimidated acts like. I thought it was a good example of how a girl gets dominated by a strong reality in an instant.

Like Tyler said in the Blueprint, like the kid taking the cookie – you saw, you went for it.

Your peacocking was fabulous, definitely gave you great social proof.

Looks to me that you have some serious skill in inner game. That’s blueprint style for you. I honestly think she just put up her anti-slut and tried to avoid any kind of sexual ordeals. Women go to gay bars to not get hit on (at least my sis does)

It looks like you are fully in state, and you are saying whatever you want.

It looks like you have the belief you can say whatever you want, because you’ve done it hundred times before.

It looks like the girl is attracted to your booming tonality, possibly your accent, and your random questions which probably confuse her little bit.

Its not spectacular, but it looks like this is something that you can consistently do, and its not a technique, its your internal belief that you are the man.

Hahaha. Dude. Dude. I can’t believe people are saying anything negative about this. It’s just too far outside some people’s reality I guess.

Wow, that confirmed my beliefs in how the blueprint works. The just doing, intent and selfamusement are very good visible. It doesn’t even matter to me what the outcome was, it looks like you just do what you want. That’s freedom.

Howwwwww can you open LIKE THAT ??? and she actually stops !!! That shit is still beyond my reality.

Bringing the party, acting through his own intentions, congruent with the self. That’s all I saw.

Haha some of you guys are huge dorks. Stop looking at the girl’s reaction, start looking at the place Alex is coming from, and his consistency in it. That’s what it’s all about.

I see RSD.

This video has just illustrated that RSD is NOT part off the community anymore.

Community shows you how to model a cool guy. – - – > Botton Pushiing

RSD TRANSFORMS you in the COOLEST MOTHERFUCKER around. – - – - > Self Amusment Deluxe.

I expected this controversy for the video, vast majority of RSD still way to plugged into the “community” and its just not compatible. Look, you really must ask yourself: “Do I want to learn Pickup? Or Pickup 2.0?”

Definitely doing whatever the fuck you want. Definitely not caring what anyone else thinks of you. So much that you’ll put your nuts on the line to all of us out here at RSDNation.

Homeboy below said it right — Self Amusement Deluxe. DELUXE.

Definitely an inspiration. But I won’t be throwing apples into cars ;P Actually I might do that too.

PEACE. Much love mate.

A Member Is Banned For Remarks

Sanity got into a debate over Alex’s video with the RSDNation members…

Sanity

Opener was okay, you shocked and awed her
She put her arm around you, good sign
BUUUT
You fooked it up by mis calibrating, she looked pretty intimidated at that
Then she takes her arm off you and in her face is a little scared

I’m sure you plowed but to me, not a very good video… Cajuns was better

Then a backlash by Mayhem (Over 1000+ post member)

This is why you need more video’s Alex. So people can see the TRUTH. Shut the haters up.

Sanity replied:

I’m not expecting anyone to pull ponies out their ass. I’m talking vibe, and Alex’s vibe here was piss poor.

I don’t judge a man’s game by one video, i’ve heard good things about alex, but i gotta give my honest opinion.

Then in response to someone else, Sanity says:

It’s all conditioning. If it’s one thing that RSD know best, it’s knowing how to condition a bunch of people into associating them with all things good.

Now instantly when people see this, they’ll think “Oh well you’re just a hater or negative.” Maybe I am.

But have you ever considered that your perception is tainted through conditioning? Think about it, it’s a very short video that doesn’t show much other then a miscalibrated conversation that ANYONE could of done.

Naturally people are going to defend the person with the status and the association, it’s always going to be this way.

I see this shit all the time when im out, with guys who DONT get laid. This is there approach. Does it mean that Alex doesnt get laid? Nope. It simply means… show me something ABOUT YOU. About what you bring into this company, convey who YOU really are and what YOU really do. This short video doesnt cut it.

NOW BANNED

Other Guys on RSDNation Not Impressed

Ummm, what am I missing? Why is this impressive?

I see basic drunk frat guy ballsy dominance, but I don’t see her going DDB. I don’t necessarily even see any real attraction on her part. She seems like shes nervous and uncomfortable. I definitely don’t sense attraction here. Maybe some tolerance and some curiosity at best…

Is this you Alex?

Maybe video is just too short?

Blueprint in action? Seems a contradiction to say that whilst at the same time polling the entire forum for their thoughts when one of Blueprint’s core credos is not caring what anyone thinks?!

Overall I don’t think it looks that great. Like’s been mentioned if it was anyone else claiming it was a ‘pick up’ from that small segment they would’ve been ripped. Alex’s having a good time, looks confident, but if I didn’t know better I’d say it just looks like the brand of good-time-confident every drunk party-guy out of a weekend does.

Still, as one of Alex’s colleagues says, great pick-up looks pretty bland and text book when you see it, no fireworks coming out your ass, so maybe the guy’s kind of a victim of his own success: we expect to see more, when what we do see is maybe enough.

And what I see that didn’t ‘gel’, and is maybe the pertinent point, is the ease with which she put her arm round him which was at odds with her face and the rest of her body language (guarded hand in front of her chest). She looked less than happy when she comfortably slid her arm round him again seconds later and seemed to be warming, smiling but by the end just looked disinterested again.

So overall it didn’t look that great to me on first impression but was intrigued with the ‘face saying one thing, arm doing another’ behaviour I noted.

Honest Assessment:

If somebody outside of the community posted this video as an example of a great PUA, the majority of the board would criticize it. Not because it was bad, but the sample size was small (1 video/ 51 seconds). Nothing really happened on video except for SUB-COMMUNICATION. Which is my new favorite word. I’m using it when I hit the bars Thursday night.

However, If an RSD Instructor posted it, they will mostly praise it and point out sub-communication and refer to stuff that happened once the camera’s are off. And find every possible way to put a positive as opposed to negative spin on the video.

Honest Assessment:

Anyone with balls, confidence, camcorder and a friend could go make the same video this upcoming weekend. But I guess that is the point, you have balls and confidence, thus….

What? This girl just looks sort of nervous, like a caged animal. Shes had a really loud dude stop her, and another dude shove a camera in her face… so she’s playing along. I’m dumbfounded anyones impressed by this. ?!?

My Take

Sure, it’s fun to go out and act like a jackass at times and not give a crap of the outcome. However, being like that does not mean you have “natural game” or have rock solid “inner game”. Usually, those who have to act super extroverted have major insecurities about being themselves.

Case in point: Celebrities. Those that are very loud and attention seeking but whose personal lives are a mess. eg. Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Andy Dick. Celebrities that are dignified and hold their own have great relationships and usually do great things with themselves. Tom Hanks, Jerry Seinfeld, Adam Sandler.

My point being: just because your “loud” and “dominant” doesn’t have anything to do with inner game and confidence.

Like my new favorite commenator, John, said:

“Oh, I see, I get it now: He who drinks is a bozo and a chode but he who acts 100% drunk but without drinking is a deep philosopher and a natural?”

Wake up guys. Let’s get back on track.