No personality? I can help…

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for months. The community is based around the notion of achieving more with what you were born with. But what if you could change what you were “born” with?

My personality is constantly changing and evolving, either in a direction that I choose or in an direction I’m not choosing. There is no middle ground. The evolution of your personality is not stagnate. Due to external forces, your personality will change. If you make a new friend and he’s always positive, your personality will reflect a more positive outlook. If you start hanging around unmotivated individuals, you’ll notice your goals will start being less important to you. Because of this, I propose a question to you… What direction is your personality heading?

How To Control and Evolve Your Personality

Despite what every teenager known to man has said, you can control your actions to achieve what you want. The myth of “I can’t change who I am” is just a sad excuse for behavior you yourself aren’t happy with internally. You can change behavior and therefore personality. I’m a huge fan of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and if you haven’t seen it, you should order the DVDs immediately and watch them. The show has a certain type of humor that is the signature of writer/comedian Larry David. As I started watching the series, I noticed I would start making similar “Larry David” jokes. Whether they were funny or not isn’t the debate, it’s the fact that my personality and sense of humor was evolving.

The Great Secret for Positive Personality Evolution

There are many myths about personality and what are able to change. The main way you can evolve your personality in a positive way is to surround yourself with the type of people you want to become. This has the fastest and most impact on your personality. Because this is a website dealing with getting more successful with women, I’ll focus on that.

You should ask three questions:

• Which guys do you respect most when it comes to dating? What personality traits do they possess?
• Which personality trait are you most deficit that if you possessed would bring you the most success with women?
• Do you know guys around your life that possess these traits? If so, spend more time with them. If not, how can you meet these men and make them a part of your life?

The main point of personality evolution is to change your personality into something you want in your life. When you don’t particularly like a certain part of your personality, you can change it.

Further Resources for Personality Evolution

• Double Your Dating – David Deangelo‘s ebook is a great resource for personality evolution. No kidding. David discusses changing your personality, character mastery, and techniques for trial and error methods for evolving your personality.
• Comedy Writing Secrets – Hetlzer’s book in a nutshell teaches you how to be funny. If you’ve noticing your jokes hitting the floor faster than a chick in a rap video, you need this book. Just reading it makes you funnier.
• Mastery – although not specifically about personality evolution, Mastery will help you track your personality evolution progress. Mastery gives you perspective and help as you journey along your path.
  

  As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

  Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

  ]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/02/11/how-to-evolve-your-personality/feed/ 1 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/07/31/the-master-the-vibewayne-elise-controversy/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/07/31/the-master-the-vibewayne-elise-controversy/#comments Wed, 01 Aug 2007 04:17:04 +0000 Editor http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/07/31/the-master-the-vibewayne-elise-controversy/

  Apparently, Wayne Elise has it out for Master The Vibe. As you know, one of the founders of Charisma Arts, Christian Hudson, created Master The Vibe with a fellow friend in the community, Sebastian Drake of theApproach.

  Well… they have a recurring billing cycle in which they send you the latest monthly product, not unlike many companies (Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, every porn site ever). To me, this seems like a sensible option for many guys that want the latest conversational techniques without much hassle. This is a common business practice, especially with the advent of online billing systems.

  A customer canceled his subscription of Master The Vibe, and got billed. So he contacted the company, they refunded him and admitted blame with a personal apology to him. Then Wayne Elise (Juggler) weighs in with his opinion on Charisma Arts forum (with Sebastian Drakes rebuttal) about the Master The Vibe co-founder :

  

  What do you think guys – is Wayne talking a hit at his old business partner by saying he’s unethical and censoring his responses?

  As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

  Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

  ]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/07/31/the-master-the-vibewayne-elise-controversy/feed/ 20 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/06/10/christian-hudson-talking-about-his-new-product-and-what-happened-with-juggler/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/06/10/christian-hudson-talking-about-his-new-product-and-what-happened-with-juggler/#comments Sun, 10 Jun 2007 20:02:09 +0000 Editor http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/06/10/christian-hudson-talking-about-his-new-product-and-what-happened-with-juggler/

  Christian – long time since we heard from you last. What have you been up to?
  Hey Donovan, cool to see your site on a new domain finally! Yeah, I dropped out for awhile. It’s been a crazy eight months or so; I moved to New York, Charisma Arts and I parted ways, helped get another startup in the beverage space off the ground, and am now doing this Hidden Mic Pickups thing. There’s been a lot of partying, some amazing women, and a lot of growth in there too.

  We all want to know – what happened with Charisma Arts?
  Without going into specifics, the relationship just wasn’t working out. But I have respect for what they teach and I think the guys who work there are amazing. The Juggler Method is a powerful thing, and it was fun to help take that company from two guys in a coffee shop into the worldwide success that it is today.

  Cool, so back to you… somehow I feel like the personal growth and the women might be related.
  And you’d be right, mostly. I mean, New York is a tough town – everyone here is good at things. So if you don’t bring your “A” game, whether it be to work, dating, partying, networking, or anything else that involves people coming together, you’re toast.

  Quick story – I got professionally connected to a woman here by a close friend, and I didn’t have much context about who she was. It turns out that she comes from one of the wealthiest families in town; Andy Warhol had been her debutante’s ball date. So I come into her office, slightly casual vibe based on the strength of my friend’s connection to her, and she sits me down and says “Why are you here?” I stammered a little bit and she said “Not good enough kid – you’ve got fifteen seconds to tell me why we should keep talking.” I ended up getting about five minutes of her time.

  Those sorts of things occur only every now and then, but more generally, a lot of my growth has been focused on being a stronger man. Its much harder to be a good boyfriend and a strong man in general than it is to be a guy who is good at meeting women. A woman – and I’m thinking a real woman, like the wife of King Leonides in the movie 300 – has an intuition about a man’s strength, heart and truth. Even if he’s fooling himself, he can’t fool her. I’ve confronted some truths about who I am and what I want, and it took a real woman to make me do that.

  Are there any specifics that have helped you out?
  Well, I didn’t walk away from my relationship from last summer soon enough, and it cost us both a potential friendship. It forced me to develop some standards for what I will and won’t accept in a relationship. It’s funny – you know, within the first three or four times of dating or spending time with someone, if it’s going to work out. If you get a bad intuition, or there are obvious red flags, it’s your choice about how long you want to delay the inevitable and how much pain you want to go through. Big, big lesson.

  More recently, one of the girls I’ve been together with on and off here is one of the top models in the world. You wouldn’t believe the social pressures she faces – everyone wants her to be around, everyone wants to have access to her world, but there is a lot of disingenuousness surrounding her. Dealing with this has required patience, maturity and support. You learn what it means to be the bigger man. I’ve also learned to appreciate “feminine” things that in the past would have annoyed me, but which I now see as part of the yin and yang of male : female relations.

  So are you still doing “pick up”?
  You know, I never thought that I did pick-up, per se. I had a chance to meet with Stephen Nash when I was out here, and we both concur that the skills you need to have a great girlfriend and a healthy relationship are very different than the skills you need for pickup. I think every guy should read his stuff and Deida’s work first, then start to work on their interaction skills.

  With that said, I’m always meeting new people. Sometimes you get a number if you connect with someone… and I think that social skills and conversation skills are essential for having quality people in your life. When you have the right vibe and energy, you attract great people.

  Having a positive energy and vibe… speaking of which, tell me about Master the Vibe.
  I’m so excited about this Donovan. Hidden Mic Pickups is a monthly audio series that features live, flirtatious interactions between women, and guys with great social skills. I remember when I was 21 and trying to get my social and dating life on track, I kept thinking to myself “I just wish I could hear someone else do it.” Seven years later now, and there’s still no one doing that.

  So is the product exclusively pick ups?
  Well we’re meeting women everywhere. House parties, clubs, book launch events… so sometimes you’ll hear a true “pick up” – a guy who walks up to a girl with the intention of getting her number. Other times, well… there’s a clip we have from our friend Haresh, who was at a Mexican restaurant meeting friends for after-work Margaritas. One of Haresh’s friends’ friends brings a girl. So you hear how they connect, and how he sort of isolates her from the group, and this really daring way that he gets sets their next meetup.

  We’re trying to cover the spectrum of what guys struggle with, and what we’ve personally struggled with. There are going to be months where we feature lots of interactions that cut off after the first three minutes, and I’ve got one interaction that is about an hour long, so that will be it for the month. Whatever the case, all the audio we picked is targeted to solve a particular problem.

  How’s this different from some of the amateur hidden mic stuff I’ve heard?
  For one thing, we use really good recording technology, so you actually hear what people are saying and you don’t have to suffer through lots of hiss and wind noise and jostling and all that. Of course, we have guys who are at the top of their game doing it too, so you’re not going to hear something that is flatly wrong and then try to emulate it.

  Then we’re explaining why this stuff works. This is critical, because if I’m listening to this, I don’t want to just hear a guy meet women, I want to be able to do it myself with my own personality and my own stories and my own energy. Extracting the theory behind why something works is critical.

  Is there a particular style you’re using? You were one of the founders of Charisma Arts, and you’re working with Sebastian from theApproach. Both companies are known for “natural” game.
  Sebastian and I both have direct styles of interaction; he’s a lot lower-key than I am, but we’re both pretty direct.

  With that said, we’re working with some great guys who are talented in a lot of different styles of interaction. Someone who wants to learn indirect, Mystery-style interaction skills will hear that, and someone who’s shy and laid back will also hear our friend who makes that work for himself.

  Are there any things you’ve learned from going through this process?
  Absolutely! There’s one huge thing that stands out to me… that’s the pacing at which these interactions move. I know that when I’m talking to people, it feels like things are moving very fast. But in fact, unless you’re running a routine or completely know where you’re going, conversations move slowly. That’s the point – you’re getting to know the other person, and taking in their vibe, not just blasting through the interaction. Its more Gears of War (stop and pop) than it is Halo (run and gun).

  I didn’t realize until I mic’d myself up how many little pauses there are, how things can get misinterpreted, and how there can be up to 15 seconds of dead space. I started paying attention to this during some business meetings too. And what you learn is that both personally and professionally, it is very unnatural to have a twenty to sixty minute conversation where it’s like click click click and everything moves perfectly.

  Ahh, other than that… I’ve loved seeing how different people make different things work. I have to tell you – Sebastian’s interactions are very low on flirtatiousness and tricks, but he’s smooth, has a great energy, and does a few key things that make the girls stick around. Its been great for me and since I’m the one who breaks down and narrates each interaction, I’ve had to pick out a lot of things I’ve never done before myself. Its been a great learning experience.

  It sounds great. So what’s next for you?
  Sebastian and I are working to get Master the Vibe nailed down – making sure the sound quality keeps getting better and better, making sure that customer support is A+++, and making sure that people are getting value out of the product. We’re having fun with it and we’re going to have lots of little surprises in the future. I am also starting another business in technology right now – very early stage but very exciting. Other than that… getting back into tennis this summer. If you know any New Yorkers who want to play, let me know!

  ***UPDATE: Christian has since left Master The Vibe and has released Hidden Mic Pickups.

  As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

  Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

  ]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/06/10/christian-hudson-talking-about-his-new-product-and-what-happened-with-juggler/feed/ 12 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/05/24/charisma-arts-on-nightline/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/05/24/charisma-arts-on-nightline/#comments Thu, 24 May 2007 21:11:11 +0000 Editor http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/05/24/charisma-arts-on-nightline/

  Charisma Arts were featured on Nightline recently. I’ve finally found the video where Johnny Saviour and all of them are doing there thing. They didn’t have Wayne Elise on the show which was disappointing. If you’re looking for more information on Charisma Arts, as well as their coaches personal blogs, go to their website.

  As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

  Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

  ]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/05/24/charisma-arts-on-nightline/feed/ 0 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/05/02/stephen-nash-seminar/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/05/02/stephen-nash-seminar/#comments Wed, 02 May 2007 16:58:41 +0000 Editor http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/05/02/stephen-nash-seminar/

  Over the weekend, I had the privilege to attend Stephen Nash‘s “On Being Naturally Attractive To Women” seminar held in New York. It was a diverse group of fellas, but they all wanted to know one thing – how to be smooth, and charismatic with a sense of purpose.

  I think some of the guys caught on faster than others, although all learned valuable lessons, and felt a shift in reality from being there.

  Day 1

  Stephen started by talking about what things are attractive to women; namely, security, autonomy, and masculinity. He went through exercises to help guys focus on what they really want out of life, which helps them gain a better understanding on why someone would want to be around them.

  He then moved onto his Circle of Autonomy.

  The circle of autonomy is made up of (if I can remember them all) Finances, Hobbies, Social Life, Image (Fashion, Style), Career, Health, Family, and Spirituality. Stephen was saying that with all of these in balance, creates an autonomous male, which is the most attractive of all males. (Alpha Male) Because he has his life together, is not needy, and exudes a level of masculinity reserved only for those who are on this path.

  Stephen went into what your purpose is and what that details. Finding you’re purpose is one of the most important steps in the process of becoming naturally attractive.

  We then had the pleasure of hearing from Michael Jancz who is an expert of the David Deida line of work. His book Way of the Superior Man which I recommend everyone pickup immediately was the basis of Michael’s segment. Although some of what he said was a little “newage”, most of it was good information that really helps you put in perspective the feminine and how it relates to us.

  Day 2

  Stephen detailed social skills. Engage, Hook, Connect in every detail imaginable. I learned alot of great techinques in this section, such as “Baiting” in which you simply and subtly, spur new conversations by dropping experiences in.

  Eg. Her: Do you love New York or what?
  You: Yeah I love New York, way different than the river rafting town outside Seattle. Not better, just different…
  Her: Oh, what town?

  Baiting is the best way to lead conversations, as it stops you from being “needy” and always asking questions.

  Stephen then lead us into his social circle techniques.

  Leading is most important when it comes to social circle “game”. Coming up with new activities, inviting friends, and making it as fun as possible puts you in the position of the “leader”, which makes you attractive and which lets you meet tonnes of women if done right. Stephen stepped the guys through this process, and what to really look for when you find a new group of women. Eg. the “gatekeepers”.

  Then we had a fashion and style segment in which Jonathon Hudson, former GM of Charisma Arts.

  Jonathon broke down fashion archetypes and what fits, what colors work on different guys and what to really look for when you’re buying clothes. Jonathon stayed around and fueled conversations as the day progressed.

  We then had three beautiful women come in to give their first impressions of the guys. It was interesting to hear their opinions as most of them really didn’t think to badly of some of the guys I thought would be social rejects. Perhaps, they were just being nice.

  Either way, every guy got up and got drilled in front of the whole seminar. It was awesome. Many guys got a tonne out of this, and it ended up being one of the nicest unforeseen highlights of the seminar.

  After the first impressions and general vibe from the women’s section of the seminar, Stephen closed with a motivation speech about how to get these skills implemented in life, and really find what they want with women and dating.

  Overall, many of the guys came up to me after and commented that they wish they took this seminar before others they had previously. I didn’t meet one guy that regretted it, and one even said he was so excited about his new view on life he couldn’t wait to get started!

  Great seminar, with a great attendance.

  For those who didn’t make it, you should check out Stephen’s program called “Natural Attraction, it goes over alot of the same stuff as the seminar, and is formatted into a 7 day “personal coaching” style audio program.

  As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

  Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

  ]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/05/02/stephen-nash-seminar/feed/ 0 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/04/18/who-else-is-going-to-on-being-naturally-attractive-to-women-seminar/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/04/18/who-else-is-going-to-on-being-naturally-attractive-to-women-seminar/#comments Wed, 18 Apr 2007 22:41:07 +0000 Editor http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/04/18/who-else-is-going-to-on-being-naturally-attractive-to-women-seminar/

  Stephen Nash, author of How To Get A Girlfriend, is holding his two day seminar in New York City next weekend (April 28-29th) called “On Being Naturally Attractive To Women”.

  Stephen is apparently going to be sharing tonnes of new material, and teaching guys the natural way to having a life filled with beautiful women because of a strong identity. He will go into everything from inner game, identity building, and qualifying right through to how to plan a date, what to wear to convey your personality better, and how to have charismatic conversational skills that are not routine based, but that have as much impact and can connect you better to the people you’re with.

  

  If you’re not really into ROUTINES and want to learn how to portray your personality and grow yourself as a man, then Stephen’s THE man. I once took a personal lifestyle coaching session with him, and he really dug deep and found where I was going wrong with women. Surprisingly enough my problem was over-complicating the interactions I was having with women and people! He helped destroy my failings, and set me on a path to true masculinity. He genuinely goes out of his way to help guys out.

  The seminar is $449 for TWO FULL DAYS of seminar and practice sessions. If you’re around New York City next weekend, you owe it to yourself to check this seminar out, I’m going to be doing a review because I’m going to be there.

  Check out the details and reserve your seat before the last 5 seats are sold.

  Love to see some of you there, and introduce yourself!

  Donovan

  As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

  Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

  ]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/04/18/who-else-is-going-to-on-being-naturally-attractive-to-women-seminar/feed/ 0 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/01/25/stephens-25-seminar/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/01/25/stephens-25-seminar/#comments Thu, 25 Jan 2007 19:40:40 +0000 Editor http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/01/25/stephens-25-seminar/

  As you guys know I’m a fan of Stephen Nash (PlayboyLA).  I’ve got word that he’s holding a 3-hour seminar for only $25 in New York City on March 11th.  He’s a proponent of natural skills, identity and purpose for building an attractive and healthy lifestyle for attracting beautiful women, and for $25 it’s a bargain.
  Check out the details over at his website.

  As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

  Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

  ]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/01/25/stephens-25-seminar/feed/ 0 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/01/11/gambler-seduction-masters-interview/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/01/11/gambler-seduction-masters-interview/#comments Thu, 11 Jan 2007 16:19:00 +0000 Editor http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/01/11/gambler-seduction-masters-interview/

  A few weeks ago I read this comment on the Dating Coaches of 2006 post:

  “Personally, I’d like to choose someone who is virtually unknown, but I saw him turn guys who you wouldn’t believe had a chance, into smooth talkers with a better chance of obtaining natural game in 11 hrs. I’m a little biased, because I’m one his students. Gambler, this is for you.”

  I knew I had to get in touch with this new up and comer, Richard La Ruina. After a few emails back and forth we decided to do this interview, which I think you will find extremely revealing and inspirational as I did.

  
  
  

  

  Richard can be reached through his website at:

  PUATraining
  

  Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, “I need to work out this part of my life”?

  There was a night in 2001, I was 21 years old, had never kissed a girl. I was trading the stock market and doing pretty well and I said to myself “I’d give up all this for a girlfriend”. I said it out loud, and I really meant it. Having a girl then was worth more than all my material possessions and I’d probably have taken an offer to take 5 years off my life or sell my soul to the devil!

  I met a girl within a few days and had a 2 ½ year relationship with her!

  This boosted my confidence and at least made me semi-comfortable dealing with women.

  After we broke up, I was single again and didn’t sleep with another girl for 2 ½ years. The same desperation came back. I didn’t realize I could learn how to get this sorted out, so I was focusing on improving myself – making myself more attractive by working out all my issues and problems. I lightly dipped into Speed Seduction but thought it was utter rubbish and didn’t have the balls to even try it out.

  By complete chance I happened to be in Starbucks Leicester Square, London at the same time as an RSD bootcamp. I spied on things a bit and then asked Tyler Durden what was going on. He broke it down and told me to read The Game. I read it when it came out in England which was September 2005. In November, I slept with my second girl. The only game I used was to match her physical escalation. She initiated everything, even the extraction to the hotel. I felt like I wouldn’t have been able to do it if I hadn’t read the book.

  Have you had any mentors and what did they teach you?

  Before I came to London in March, I was working on things on my own in Cambridge. My “mentors” were actually these super-hero PUAs that can get ANY woman they want, ANY time. They actually don’t seem to exist, but they existed in my mind and this was the goal I was working towards. The fact that I set my sights so high allowed me to get good very quickly. If I’d hung with local lair guys from the beginning, my targets would have been a lot lower and I might never have been as good as I am now.

  My inspirations all came from the products, I didn’t meet a real PUA until I trained with Brent in April ’06. I thought David D was a great role-model of an attractive man with attractive qualities. Tyler, Swinngcat, and PU101 produced products which were a big help.

  I mainly got lines and mental attitude from these products rather than a complete system for pickup. When I tried them out, I got mixed results because I’d be generally lame but throw out the occasional very funny or interesting line.

  Milton Erickson was my strongest non-PU role-model. His books served as a grounding to me since he was dealing with REAL problems, and was focused on what is truly important in life. Not only that but he was a genius and could do things that no other human being has been able to do since.

  Could you describe what you’re life was like before you were aware of this, and what options you have with women now?

  If we go back only as far as 12 months ago, I’d slept with 2 women. I had no idea if I’d ever find a girlfriend, have sex again or even kiss a girl. The whole process of getting a number or more was bewildering and seemed like a huge challenge. It was the uncertainty that was the main problem. The fact that I knew that I couldn’t just go to a club and grab a girl, and even if I went 10 times I might not get anywhere.

  Now, I have multiple girls and options any time I like. I know that I can f-close 7 times a week if I like, or that I can meet a girl of quality (looks and character) around once every 3 weeks. I am dating an Italian girl who is doing a PhD curing cancer, looks like Monica Belluci and is pretty much perfect. I’m also dating a Brazilian girl who is super fun and sexy. Both know about what I do and each other, one even helps out on bootcamps as a HB helper! I have other options from strippers to models. I treat the girls well, don’t use tricks and never had a girl hate me!

  What was your hardest sticking point?

  The thing that took the longest to click and was the biggest sticking point was sexual escalation. I used to sit in sets for ages without going for a kiss or escalating at all. I barely kino’d. Sometimes I’d be in a set for over an hour without any moves being made.

  One night in a set where the girl wasn’t giving me kino or IOIs, I just decided to go for it and pushed for the k-close and got it. After that I became more bold and the kino started to click and become natural.

  Do you have a favorite step in your model?

  I love to do a direct approach and very fast close so this is my favorite special move:

  I spot my target from 5 meters or so, I’m not smiling, I’m looking cool, I point at her and tilt my head. She reacts in some way. I walk purposefully toward her. I give her a direct opener or compliment – “you’re a cutie pie” was a favorite for a while, say “come here” and pull her in, start dancing with her or just touch her hair. Maybe ask her name. Maybe not. K-close. When I imagine super hero PUA, there is no way he is indirect! That’s why this is my favorite move.

  Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you’ve reached a certain degree of mastery?

  I think the moment I got it was my first f-close. I ran good game, opened, escalated quickly, moved her around the venue, and then lead her to my house. It was pretty smooth. I even threw in some Speed Seduction stuff. I realized then that I had choice with women for the first time in my life. It doesn’t slowly build up over time. I think there are key moments which open the floodgates. This was mine for f-closes.

  When I got my first 9 was a huge moment too. It was always in the back of my mind that I didn’t have one yet. Remember, I live in London, I’ve SEEN less than ten 9s in the past 12 months! That was when I felt like a real top level guy.

  What advice would you give to newbies starting out?

  Plenty, but here are 3 things that spring to mind:

  1. Get over your inhibitions and approach as many sets as you can. A guy that does 100 in a day will close more and learn more than someone that does 3. If you are uncomfortable having attention focused on you, go and do acting. If you are uncomfortable being close to a woman, go to salsa classes. Do some crazy missions, find out your motivation and put yourself in the position where you have to act. Give your friend $100 and get him to give you $10 back for each set you open.

  2. When you are starting, it is easy to study loads of theory. You need to balance learning, applying and refining. I learnt more in 2 weeks of gaming than 6 months of theory. It makes sense, try spending 6 months learning how to drive by reading a book and see if you are better than the dude who spent 8 hours in a car.

  3. If you are not an attractive man in general, fix that. Work on fashion, body language, voice, extrovert qualities, social skills, building an interesting life, etc. If you focus solely on pickup, it can actually make you worse!

  In your experience, what is the biggest issue for guys getting attraction with a woman?

  Standing out in a positive way from other guys. You need to project fun, sexuality, and confidence.

  Look like you are having fun and don’t care too much about what happens. Be comfortable in the interaction, be externally focused and out of your head. If you don’t show outcome dependency, excellent. It’s being almost casual about it. When you feel pressure, she will too. When you are uncomfortable, she will not be able to relax. When women say they want confidence, this is what they are talking about.

  What’s your belief on inner game, and how did you improve yours?

  I can talk all day about this area. Inner game is basically your state, your mood, your beliefs about yourself and women. You build inner game most effectively through results and progress. To build inner game before you start, you can try what I did. I wrote down a list of all the things about myself that I was unsatisfied with. For the ones I could do something about I made a plan of action and executed on it, and for the ones I couldn’t I learnt to accept them. Humans need certainty, sense of direction, this gives that. We need a sense of progress and you can get that by recording the progress you make in a journal. It also helps to stop comparing ourselves to others. Judge by your own life and the progress you are making. There will always be someone who is better in some regard, focusing on them is a recipe for discontent.

  These are some things I used. I also studied self-hypnosis, NLP, read all the old Bandler books, everything on, by, or about Milton Erickson, I used subliminal music whilst I slept, etc. I used loads of tools and they all impacted in some way. Now I’m very solid, difficult to stress out, and generally in control of my emotions.

  Do you have a personal favorite field report that you could relate?

  Yeah! From 3 weeks ago!

  I went to a posh club in London (24), was a good night, 3 k-closes with HBs. I got a 15 second k-close from using my “special move” as detailed above. I was in a great state – on fire – everything was working for me I COULDN’T get blown out if I wanted to, this happens sometimes. I didn’t extract any girls, nothing I was too bothered about. I was walking home, it was raining so I put my leather jacket under my top and it looked like I was pregnant.

  I was walking with a friend. We were chatting when he gasped and pointed out a girl hiding from the rain under a shelter. She was a 9 in my book and the hottest girl I’d seen in 2006 with maybe 1 other girl on the same level as her. 6” tall with heels, blonde, thin, beautiful face, perfect skin, great smile, greeny blue eyes. Stunning.

  I told him to go in, he went in and choked, shook his head and came back. He couldn’t do it.

  I went and stood 2 meters away, mirrored her facial expression, she looked at my belly as if to say “huh?” and I rubbed it and mouthed “my baby”. She smiled. I looked at the floor next to her as if to say “there isn’t space next to you” and she took step back to let me in. I went and stood next to her right in her face. I asked what her name is. I was in seduction mode already. I went in to kiss her after 15 seconds but she turned her face so I kissed her on her cheek and neck. I do this if they turn their face. I asked where she was going and she told me so I said “I’ll walk you” and took her hand and lead her down the road.

  I said “let’s go for another drink” she agreed and I lead her to my house. She objected when she realized we weren’t going to a bar and said “Russian girls are not so easy!” I said “I know, I love Russian girls, and you are special” in a sincere way (I did mean it too). She then started walking again and I got her to my room. I had no outcome dependency at this point, I had a take-it-or-leave-it attitude which she must have picked up on.

  I got her in my room, she sat down, I put music on, she didn’t want wine. I said come here, she said “why” and didn’t stand up so I pulled her up, started kissing her, tripped her up onto the bed. Escalated with no LMR at all and had the best f-close ever. She was stunning, I wouldn’t change her thing. Plus it was all natural. No fake tan, died hair, tons of make-up, fake boobs. She was a diamond. Anyway, it took 15 minutes to get to my house, 5 minutes to get her into bed, and she was a NINE so it was amazing for me.

  The PU skill? Nothing verbal, nothing I can describe too well. It was the state I was in + the confidence in the approach + the sexual vibe + the indifference and coolness about taking her home. I really didn’t feel desperate or outcome dependent.

  She went to Russia for the holidays so need to call her again now because she’ll be back. But one thing is for sure, in London, it will be MONTHS before I even see anything as good.

  What are your current challenges?

  Finding quality girls! I don’t practice enough due to lack of quality HBs. My personal pickup goals are to be more dominant, escalate quicker, push the boundaries in this way. I’ve cracked upscale venues, celeb parties etc. Hmmm, not too much left. Just general improvement now I guess and a consistent level of quality.

  What are you goals now within the community, and in life?

  I’m torn between wanting to be the world’s best PUA and running a successful business. I think I need to come to America for both so I’ll be there soon. I am happy with my love life with a few good quality girls. I like to be in a loving relationship. ONSs don’t do too much for me. Neither does writing field reports or getting status from guys. I’m competitive but not a show-off, so I’ve posted on forums less than 5 times in my life!

  You’ve started a company for English students called PUA Training, what can they expect when they take a bootcamp, and what makes you different from other English companies out there?

  In London, we have the major US companies who have set up local operations, and no real home-grown talent. I don’t think the quality of training is up to US standards from the established companies since the local guys just aren’t the name-brand PUAs.

  I put together a team who even the other organizations will admit consists of England’s best PUAs. We all have different styles and are not too tied to a specific approach. We teach direct, indirect, day, night, phone, day-2, dance-floor, natural game, and routines. It sounds like a lot but it is pretty simple. The system we teach can be learned and memorized and applied within 15 minutes. It is pickup boiled down into its essential elements from open to close. We then put the other stuff on top of this model so it is flexible enough to adapt to any student or any teacher. Because of this, some students leave and are routine guys, some leave and have natural game, and most have a mix but are working towards being all-natural. We had 3 f-closes in a row on bootcamp nights in December, and many more from dates following n-closes on the nights. At least 75% of students get closes on average which is better than any other published number I’ve seen.

  Our bootcamps have 2:1 ratio in the club, have HBs that the guys can practice on before going into the field, feature wing-girls, sex skills training, fashion advice, and special guests in lots of areas. I wanted to get away from the “guy with a whiteboard” type of event and we hold our events in private rooms in bars and clubs and the guys are never sat listening without doing an exercise for more than 20 minutes. We have a big budget and spend the money on quality additions. We do day game AND night game.

  Tell me about your soon to be released products, and what someone can expect to learn from them?

  I’m writing an ebook which is 90% done. I went through all the material prior to going into the field. I’ve read every ebook and watched every DVD and listened to every piece of audio. Some is good, some is bad. A common problem is that none of these products gives you everything you need – the entire process from open to close with all the content you need along the way. Mystery’s book is the best in this regard at the moment, but it is still somewhat limited in its approach. The 7 hours, the negs, the mixed sets in clubs, no direct game, no dance-floor game, no day-game, no inner game, a very rigid system of steps. Basically I wanted to give a complete system for picking up women in any environment. I think I’ve achieved that. People love it so far and I look forward to seeing the response. I’ve basically created the book that I needed when I was an AFC.

  Other products will have a similar goal, and so will stand out in the same way.

  Your game is “natural”, why did you adopt this technique, instead of using a more structured approach to pickup?

  Hmmm, well it is natural but still structured. I know what “phase” I’m in and what I can do and what I need to do next. But I freestyle it within that. Because I generally look for quality girls that I can be in relationships with, I find canned material objectionable. I want the girl to be attracted to me, what I have to say, and what I truly think of her. I don’t want to catch a girl by acting a role. I would hate to have a girlfriend who I used a routine stack on. I think that canned material is a crutch until you develop the skills to freestyle and “be yourself”!

  I have an unbreakable routine stack, it would close pretty much anything, but I don’t use it. The second reason I don’t use this stuff is that it doesn’t test me, I like to exercise my mental muscles, sharpen them and become better socially through this. You learn more from freestylying 1000 sets than doing the same routine stack 1000 times.

  I don’t understand why guys want to be PUAs. A natural with PUA knowledge can out-game 99.9% of PUAs. AFC’s should strive to be naturals.

  You traveled around Europe with some great dating coaches last year, what can you tell us about meeting women in other countries?

  Well… You have disadvantages and benefits:
  You are a rare commodity and more attractive.
  They know you aren’t staying long.
  The girls are generally not as easy.
  Language can be a barrier.
  Some countries just hate foreigners.

  Aside from this, it is pretty much the same everywhere. The hottest girls in the world are in Latvia. And the most harsh environment ever is the Latvian club scene! They will blow guys out on the open in the most harsh way possible over and over. I still scored every night but I really did pick my shots carefully and the HBs were scared to be seen with me in front of anyone because of the negative social proof of being with a foreigner. Somewhere like Sweden, it’s different, pretty easy, but weird things like expecting you to light their cigarettes (same in a lot of these countries actually, Russia too), and if you refuse it isn’t cool at all. They are not shit-testing, it’s a part of the culture.

  Being around so many HBs on the European tour, my game went through the roof! That’s why I need plenty of holidays to places with hot girls – to keep my game sharp. Anyone who wants to take our English girls, please let me know!

  You’ve offered to write a column on The Attraction Chronicles. What do you think you’ll focus on, and what can my readers expect?

  Lots of things spring to mind. Right now, I think “A structured way to become a natural” would be pretty good theme. Natural game learned unnaturally! Haha. The advice is universal in my opinion.

  Richard La Ruina can be reached through his website at:

  PUATraining

  Thanks Richard, it looks like we’ll be hearing from you again soon!

  As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

  Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

  ]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2007/01/11/gambler-seduction-masters-interview/feed/ 24 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2006/10/30/christian-seduction-masters-interview/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2006/10/30/christian-seduction-masters-interview/#comments Mon, 30 Oct 2006 22:14:00 +0000 Editor http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2006/10/30/christian-seduction-masters-interview/
  

  I completed this interview with Christian, the General Manager of Charisma Arts, just before I left New York City. I had a chance to have lunch with him at nice little cafe at Union Square, and we had a great time talking about the different aspects of pickup and dating.I started and sold a software company and was in and out of University of Michigan as a history major before meeting Wayne and starting Charisma Arts. This is my real job, but I do consulting for other startups on the side.

  How did you get introduced to this community, and was there an experience that made you want to improve this area, and when was that?

  I am a relationship guy but was going through what was then a six-month period of single-hood. Around that six-month point, I spent $400 on three dates with a girl. I liked her a lot more than she liked me and when she told me that it just wasn’t happening for her, I felt very frustrated. I think this is a common thing that brings guys into the community.

  I was feeling very isolated – waking up alone, eating dinner alone, etc. One of the best things about this life, for me, is when you can share experiences with other people. It made me so sad to have dates, but still find myself dining at restaurants alone more often than not. Most of my college friends had left town and I didn’t have a social network anymore.

  An employee at my company was clued in to what was going on, and introduced me to some DavidD and Ross Jeffries stuff. I thought some of it was offensive but there was also a lot of valuable information in there. This particular employee was big into Juggler and was the guy who actually compiled the archives that we now sell on our website. This was maybe a year after I was introduced to the community.

  Was there a main turning point after you discovered the communities techniques in which you finally felt you had reached a certain degree of mastery?

  I was always ok with women, but I was coming off as arrogant to cover up some insecurities. There was no technique I learned that helped me past this. In fact, reading the DavidD stuff hurt me more than it helped. Not to knock him – he’s like a handbrake when your car is about to hit a telephone pole – but it wasn’t until I began to hang out with Wayne (Juggler) that I began to identify my real issues and attack those.

  My big breakthrough came when I realized that I could be myself – appreciative, complementary, friendly – but do it from a position of strength, not supplication. The false strength that techniques and a lot of the community wisdom teaches left me single for about a year and a half after discovering it. It was a big step backwards and my friends were like “who have you become?” Girls were offended more often than they were charmed.

  After a period of time, I began to just go out with the mentality that I’d try to enjoy and appreciate the people I was talking to. I don’t remember when exactly this happened but it has made me such a happier person.

  Have you had any mentors, and what specifics have they taught you?

  Wayne is awesome – he is insightful and has been a great friend to me. Johnny taught me how to have fun in my interactions without being outcome-dependent. In fact, all of our instructors continue to inspire me. Dan was a former client of ours, at a bootcamp I taught. Now he is an instructor and I’m learning so much from him. It is weird how this happens but it is true that a social/reference group of uplifting people is greater than the sum of its parts. My friend Steve was also a big help for me – but he’s not a “community” guy.

  On that note, I think it is important that your reference group reflect your values, and not your interests. A lot of guys get involved in lairs or find wingmen who are interested in just going out and meeting girls. I hung out with people like this from time to time. But I’ve found that I’m happiest and certainly at my best when I’m with people who see and value the world as I do. It doesn’t matter if we don’t like the same music or share the same tastes in clothing. My benchmark is: does this person make me be a better person?

  What was your hardest sticking point to overcome, and how did you?

  The arrogant insecurity. I’d often talk about my car, or my job or whatever. Even though I knew it was hurting me, it was like I clung to those things. That blocked everything else – approaching, SOI’ing, everything… because I was so afraid of being judged, I was being very judgmental, and consequently, the only people I’d want to talk to would be people with whom I’d have a desired outcome in mind. It was insincere and socially ineffective.

  Getting past this required a big shift in how I thought about people in the world. It happened by hanging out with guys like Wayne and Johnny. I read a lot and books like “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenence,” and “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” were big helps for me too. Finally, I pushed myself to do everything in a way that was opposite of certain instincts – kind of like George in that one Seinfeld episode – and I’d notice things clicking for me. This has been a spiritual journey as much as anything else.

  In all the sets you’ve done, which approach has made you the proudest?

  As for “trophies” – there was a playmate with whom I had a great interaction. She text’d me from Hef’s 80th to the effect of “I just danced with Donald Trump but I can’t stop thinking of you.” But you know, I wasn’t trying to “seduce” her when we spoke. I was just interested in talking with her, and lo and behold, we got along very well.

  More imporantly, my current girlfriend is unbelievable – definitely one of the best human beings I’ve ever met. We met when we were both in relationships and when those ended, things just evolved as they do. By virtue of who she is and what is important to her, she challenges me to be a better person every day. I’m not so much “proud” of this. I’m just happy.

  You practice what’s known as “natural game”, for those not familiar, what is the core of natural game, and how can someone bring that out?

  “Natural Game” is basically a polemical term that stands in contrast to indirect game. I don’t know that there is a definition of “natural game” that exists without the definitions the community has of indirect game or some of the other methods being taught.

  What we teach is how to have conversations you want to have without reliance on other people’s material. Anytime you introduce material, dishonesty, or things you don’t really care about into a conversation, you are erecting barriers between who you really are and who she really is. They’re going to come down at some point. Why deal with them at all?

  So if you want to label what we teach as natural game… I suppose it is being able to be yourself from a position of strength. Yes, there is a model to each interaction, but when you get good, the model vanishes and each interaction is just sublime enjoyment.

  Do you have any additional products coming out?

  Yes. There will be a DVD sooner or later, some audio stuff, and a style guide. To me, style is a huge, huge thing. There is no such thing as the perfect opener, but the closest you can come is being well-dressed. I am opened all the time for my clothing, but you wouldn’t call it peacocking in the feather-boa/platform boots/black fingernails sense.

  Your current girlfriend seems like a great girl. I’ve had a chance to exchange a few emails with her. I’m impressed. Can you relate how you met, and some specific things you contribute to starting a relationship with her?

  I’m so glad I have your approval Donovan

  This is a tough question to answer. Here’s one thought. My last girlfriend and I got along on a level of shared interests. We enjoyed talking about and sometimes doing the same things and going to the same places. It was fun for companionship and for awhile, we had a great relationship. But we both realized, and her before me, that we weren’t a good long-term fit. We didn’t want the same things from life, want to raise our kids the same way, etc. As an aside, she’s actually dating another community guy now who tried to schlep his way into one of our workshops under false pretense of being a reporter. I hope that works out.

  Lauren and I quickly realized that even though our interests aren’t identical, the core things that make us who we are line up very well. I’ve never enjoyed just looking into someone’s eyes as much as this girl – it makes me feel connected to the world and more. That’s not something you can fake. When two people come together like that, it just has a way of happening.

  In terms of things that led to us dating… she tells me that I have a way of making people feel special. I could tell from the moment I met her that she was someone special, and I suspect that there was a lot of genuine interest on my part. It was easy to have honest conversations with her – we talked about things like sex, religion, and even taking a poop very easily before we started dating.

  It comes down to this though – I find a lot of people interesting and I think that comes across with everyone I talk to. I happen to find Lauren more interesting and inspiring on almost every level than most people. I like to hear what she has to think but more importantly, I like to be around her because of who she is. I wish every guy could be so fortunate.

  Some argue that most “natural” conversations are routine-based anyway, because of social conditioning, humans being habitual anyway etc, we speak with stories that have had good responses, and highlight things about ourselves that have previously been appreciated in set. What is the difference between routine based methods like that, and your natural methods?

  There are two spoken parts to every interaction – what you say and what she says. Below that is the subtext – why you’re saying what you’re saying and how you’re feeling about it. Of course we tell the same stories from time to time. But if I had to articulate a difference between “natural” and “canned” storytelling, I’d say that when I tell someone something – anything – it is meant to connect me with them and to get them to open up more to me. To share more of the “what she says” part. So I won’t tell a story just to “demonstrate value” or entertain if it has no place in the conversation flow or what the other person is saying.

  I’m not the best or smoothest storyteller. I use the words “like” and “uhhh” far too much. But I’m good at highlighting why I feel a certain way about something and I’m decent at setting up a segway for someone else to take over – ending with an open-ended question for example. This is stuff that we work on in the bootcamps.

  If a new client is having a difficult time developing a masculine “identity”. What do you suggest they do?

  I think we are these organic entities with history, potential, and values that inform us in the present moment. A person’s identity is going to be a function of these three things.

  Your history is behind you and the best you can do is to frame it in the context of how you have learned from it. I had a pretty bad childhood socially, but a great family and a lot of things to learn from, and I’m thankful that I went through what I did.

  Your potential is the possibility to fulfill your purpose. A lot of people have direction but no purpose. The former is where you’re heading, the latter is why you’re heading there. When those two things line up, and only then, are you able to say that you are excited about your potential. If you’re not on that path, you need to do some thinking.

  Finally, a strong set of values is core to a strong identity. One of the things that stuck out to me from Wayne’s archives is that most people’s values are castles built on sand – unexamined and untested. To try to elicit a woman’s values and match those is weak. I think it is important to develop informed opinions on everything from human sexuality to job happiness to religion and spirituality. For example, I won’t sleep with a person anymore unless I am in love with them. Without getting into why, I will say that that is a big part of my “relationship identity” and it is something that is with me whether I’m with someone or not.

  Do you have any ideas for overcoming shyness or low self-esteem?

  Low self esteem should be dealt with by trying to become more assertive about your identity – see above.

  Shyness is tough too. The best thing I can say is that if you are not outcome-dependent in your interactions with people you can approach them much more easily. Some people are just shy and they shouldn’t be ashamed of that. Chad, who is one of our instructors, is pretty shy, but he makes it work for him. Its something we deal with regularly in bootcamps, but I can’t do justice to the issue in a few lines here.

  What do you think is the most important skill of attraction? What do you recommend to master it?

  A big smile and a reason for having it. The most attractive guys I know are happy people and they bring that with them to every person they meet. Lauren’s little brother is going to be a lady-killer. He is the happiest guy I know and I can’t think about him without smiling. Johnny and Kory are the same way. Who doesn’t want to be around a person like that?

  It then becomes a matter of indiciating intimate interest (what we call the SOI) and letting things progress from there. It is funny; once guys get past approach anxiety, they often have huge SOI anxiety. This is second most important after being a fun, happy person.

  Have you found any specific conversational topics to be more interesting to women, and how do you present those topics?

  Women love talking about relationships and interpersonal dynamics. They like talking about sex, but only in the abstract at first. They like talking about the things that make them happy and sad. Most importantly, they like talking about how they feel about things.

  CA teaches how to “headline” things. We had a client who wrote software for the FAA and wasn’t enthused about it. Now when a woman asks what he does, he tells her that he makes it so that her plane doesn’t crash into the radio tower when it is taking off. It generates a laugh and prompts more questions. We helped him identify what about his job was rewarding, and that’s something he can now share with people in a much more interesting way.

  I don’t recommend talking about computer games with women or with most people in general. I just bought an Xbox 360 and no one in my life wants to hear about it (they’ll change their mind when they see the next Splinter Cell, though).

  How can you differentiate yourself from other attractive guys when you’re trying to get that “popular” woman of the group?

  Dress well and uniquely. More importantly, disqualify yourself to the group. As an “amog technique”, disqualification has no peer. Some guy asks what kind of car you drive – you could say “I have an M3″ or you could say “a car that uses way too much gas. have you seen how expensive that shit is these days? I’ll tell you what I would like – a car that is powered by hydrogen.” When you answer the former, you’re qualifying yourself to him. When you say the latter, you’re not only implying that his question is irrelevent to you, but you’re reframing it as a question that everyone can relate to. Popular women are used to guys qualifying themselves to them. Do otherwise and you will win every time.

  What’s your personal technique for cold approaching at a party/public when the girl is alone, etc?

  I hate to be vague but there is no personal technique, per se. It depends on the situation. I’ll sometimes try to find what Wayne calls a floppsy (more on that in his eBook). But there is no one opener.

  Half the time it’s “Hi, I’m Christian. What’s your name?” Dan wrote an awesome, awesome blog on our site about the first few minutes and how to get into the conversation.

  What do most guys do wrong with flirting?

  They push but they don’t pull. Bad: “I don’t know about you – that southern accent is a little much for me.” Good: “I don’t know about you. I don’t normally like southern accents. But yours suits you well – in fact, its kind of sexy.” Our instructor Matt did this second one almost verbatim at a New York bootcamp a few weekends ago. He pushed her away, but pulled her back in.

  Guys have trouble coming up with interesting conversation that is attractive, engaging and unique from a woman’s perspective. What advice can you offer?

  The biggest thing is to relate on an emotional level. Talking about “things” is boring. Check out my new product, Master The Vibe which I’ve released with my friend from theApproach.

  What are some ways to generate a fun, interesting, successful and encouraging social circle around you?

  My friend Andre has more female friends than anyone I know. It is because he is really, really fun. He gets everyone to stay out later than they should, drink more than is safe or reasonable, and dance on tables when they are starting to get bored. Being the funnest guy of the group has its benefits. But that is not 95% of the world. If you have the fundamentals down (a strong identity and being a good conversationalist), you need nothing more than to start meeting people and hanging out with the ones you like. In most major cities, there are great social events. Join an art nonprofit in New York or a the WAKA kickball league in DC or find a way to get invited to Chad’s parties in LA. If you’re from a smaller town, it should be easy to get to know people – they’ll go to the same places on the same nights.

  With all this stuff, its like tennis, business or cooking – learn the trade before you learn the tricks of the trade. There is no substitute for being a fundamentally strong person.

  As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

  Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

  ]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2006/10/30/christian-seduction-masters-interview/feed/ 7 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2006/04/27/stephen-nash-seduction-masters-interview/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2006/04/27/stephen-nash-seduction-masters-interview/#comments Thu, 27 Apr 2006 21:01:00 +0000 Editor http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2006/04/27/stephen-nash-seduction-masters-interview/
  

  Stephen Nash is founder of Cutting-Edge Image Consulting, based in New York City. He is 33 years old, and has been researching the nature of relationships for over three years. He was an original member of the now infamous “Project Hollywood” in Los Angeles, and is featured in Neil Strauss‘ “The Game” as PlayboyLA. CEIC currently operates his blog, podcast and website:

  How To Get A Girlfriend (Link)

  Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, “I need to work out this part of my life.”

  This one is easy Donovan. A few years ago, a beautiful young girl that I was dating broke up with me. It really crumbled me, and forced to take stock of myself, and women, in a different way than I had before. I realized that she had chosen me, and that because I had so few (if any) options, I HAD to accept her. Biology is a powerful thing – she was both beautiful and young, very vivacious and outgoing – a great personality for me. So, the body (biology) responded to her very powerfully, as the opportunity to be sexually involved and perhaps eventually reproduce is often MUCH more powerful than what the mind might think is “right” or “wrong”.

  Following the break-up though, I realized that I had slowly compromised what I REALLY wanted so that it matched who she was. Because my dating and sexual life had been so underdeveloped, I compromised TOO much, and eventually left myself in the classic AFC pose – I had a girlfriend whom I didn’t truly feel a connection with, but whom also provided a sexual outlet to a starved plug… thus, I was willing to accept the wrong person for me. This is too often the case for men (and women) in our culture, so I set out to resolve this.

  I scanned the internet and was totally surprised to see that there were plenty of dealers out there willing to teach me how to meet women. And, I was a willing customer. I purchased first a product which was a decent overview, but low on tactical information. Next, I learned every tactic known to man in scanning various web boards, and in taking a live workshop with a tactic-heavy teaching system. I learned a lot from all of these experiences. I was eventually invited to join the effort now known as “Project Hollywood” in Los Angeles. I agreed to move-in, and manage the events/party promotion element.

  Living with Mystery, Style, Herbal et al was an amazing experience. I learned perhaps too much, and certainly observed more than I ever needed to. However, in the end I was grateful for the experience of seeing and learning from the best pick-up artists in the world. At one point, I was “ranked” number 4 in the world by a prior interviewee, Thundercat.

  It became obvious at a certain point that I had had enough of LA, and moved back to NYC. I decided that I’d like to pass on what I had learned, but with a healthier slant to it. I’m not sure that being a PUA (pick-up artist) is necessarily a great idea for everyone (for some, it might be).

  My philosophies and work are basically gleaned both from my experience, as well as my observations and endless research and interviews of others who are highly successful with women and relationships. I feel that meeting women should be an extension of one’s lifestyle. If a guy has to create an entirely new habit and area of his life, he is going about this in entirely the wrong way. The pick-up community is useful insofar as it adds to my life, and teaches me ways to overcome some social shortcomings. What I see too often though are guys who stop their lives and become PUAs… and it’s to their detriment.

  The CEIC philosophy is to help men understand what is attractive, and what assists in cultivating healthy relationships with all people – and, of course, with women. We feel that we help the men who are interested in having a girlfriend, and the hopeful healthy relationship. OK – enough of the soapbox-talk.

  Have you had any mentors within the community/life that have helped you improve your game, and what did they teach you?

  Here are some who REALLY helped:
  1) Style
  2) Mystery
  3) Tyler Durden
  4) Pasha
  5) Natural Rob

  Style – How to lead without being an ass. He’s terrific at handling a large group, and in allowing everyone to feel appreciated and involved. He’d always handle the house meetings, and the arduous battle between Mystery & Herbal. He did a noble job.

  Mystery – Really too much to describe here, but he’s the best in the business. An incredibly scientific and brilliant mind. If your goal is to be a pick-up artist, you should take his program. I think the greatest offering of his is the Mystery Method Model (not sure of its precise brand name) – but he’s decoded an actual structure to a seduction. NO ONE else has done this. This contribution is huge – without question the greatest discovery in the community’s history. Why? Well, he’s right – so that’s one reason, and two – it made something so hidden suddenly teachable. My hat remains off to him…

  Tyler Durden – TD is one of the more maligned figures in the community. I’ll not comment on those elements now or ever. However, he and I were wings for a period of time, and his continual help to me is not forgotten. I admire his need for challenge, and his extraordinarily astute mind. He thinks faster than anyone on earth. His style, as I last remember, is a very tactical one (this could have changed) – and it is really suited to his swift brain. He is very supportive of his team, and students, and I found him to be a great resource.

  Pasha – Pasha is not of the community, but has a harem of women here in NYC (yes – a modern-day harem) while also teaching dominance. Like Style he is extremely friendly and warm. Pasha is easily the most genuinely kind, yet dominant male, I’ve ever met. Proves that being “nice” is very important, but while being dominant. Guys get confused about this, and become assholes to women hoping to get laid…doesn’t work. What they want is to feel your autonomy, your integrity – your SPINE. If you can’t do this while also being generous and kind, you’re missing the boat my friend.

  Natural Rob – One of my best friends forever… he’s married now, with a child and lives in Jersey. He has easily the fiercest demeanor I’ve ever witnessed. The first thought that crosses a guy’s mind when they meet him is, “oh shit, this guy is going to break me in half”. He’s a former boxer, so that contributes to it. However, he has an amazing blend of masculine/feminine energies – which has helped him be extremely successful with women.

  Can you describe the first time you used a counter-intuitive routine that yielded it’s promised results, and how you felt?

  Boy, you’re asking me to think back a long ways here Donovan. I think it’s common for men with an AFC brain to be shocked at some of the more challenge-based routines – like where you ask her where she sees herself in 5 years, or you ask her to illicit important personal values in a club, the Cube also comes to mind. The AFC is so accustomed to simply doing what she wants, rather than leading her. Leadership, as an attribute to build integrity and attractiveness, was definitely counter-intuitive for awhile. A woman I was dating for a while a number of years ago cleared it all up for me. I basically told her to meet me at such-and-such corner at 8pm, be dressed casually, and be ready for an adventure. About half-way thru the evening she said, “God, what a relief, a guy who will take charge!”

  Could you describe what you’re life was like before you were aware of this, and/or what options you have with women now?

  My life before was “take what I can get”. I had no idea how to first understand dating and relationships, much less the incredibly important masculine/feminine. There’s “the game” mentality, which is akin to watching the surface of the water from a helicopter and more-or-less commenting on the reflections of light etc. Then there is the actual dating scene, which leads (we hope) to relationships – this would be sort of like getting into the water, and riding waves into the shore. Ultimately though, the highest level is in understanding the nature of the masculine/feminine energy polarities in relationships. This requires a tremendous discipline, which I am cultivating currently. It feels now like I am totally submerged in the water…and that HAS to be the idea, if you’re interested in authenticity and health. Now? I have many options, and then, I have few. In truth, I have lots of women in my life, that a former self would have totally dated. But, I am so selective now because I really understand what it is that I want. So, in this sense, the field narrows. I’ve been seeing someone now for a while, so my interest is more in developing that. But I can always feel when the vibe is “on”.

  What was your hardest/biggest sticking point?

  This one is easy – the concept of value. I see this usually happening in five stages:
  AFC Cocky AFC (using DYD, RSD, Mystery routines etc.) PUA (hopefully using his own material) Socially Skilled (no material needed) Mastery Value is mimicked in the early stages (up to PUA level). So, you basically pretend you’re a good guy with an interesting life. What usually happens is that guys sicken of “the game” and abandon all the BS, and sink themselves into real living instead. This is the only thing that actually builds value – REAL experience. Value can be understood somewhat by using routines such as DHVs, but this is pure mimicry and doesn’t last at all. The real building takes time and effort, it can’t under any circumstances be mimicked. It has to be paid for…this is the real challenge. It is ultimately a masculine challenge, and not many are up to it. The CEIC work is a direct attempt to help with all stages, not just the first two.

  Do you have a favorite routine/step in your model, can you describe it, and what it accomplishes?

  I don’t teach routines really, unless the client is a beginner (that’s the only time you need them). The work I do focuses more on giving guys social skills, which are applicable to all aspects of life. The one I feel is most helpful and empowering is a skill I call “baiting”. This is where the man layers his conversation with details about himself. When done a certain way, it prompts the woman to ask questions of him, giving him the power in the interaction. Again, this has to be done a certain way, which is something I pass on in person, but when done correctly, this always builds curiosity and fascination. It also works in networking/interviewing/socializing etc. It is a social skill, which by definition means that it works in all social situations. I don’t believe that relating to women should require you to step outside of your life and create an entirely different personality, much less scripts of things to say…

  Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you’ve reached a certain degree of mastery? Can you explain the time, and how you got the realization?

  I guess there are different levels to everything, but the only one that really interests me is the human scale (so to speak). Unless it now helps me across the board, I tend to not be interested. I feel that now I can authentically present myself to anyone/anytime. I also find that, by virtue of experience, I screen out a LOT of women. Prior to my current girlfriend, I had quite a lot of options. As you relate to women more and more, the criteria for what you seek in a relationship tends to specify – and therefore, the field narrows. What is nice is to feel that I am completely on the other side of the “chooser” equation – no longer will/can I be with someone that doesn’t have a lot going for them.

  What advice would you give to newbies starting out, in order to greatly accelerate their learning curve?

  It really depends on the guy. But, here are a few basic tips:

  1) Get some good pics and throw an internet profile on nerve.com (it’s the best IMO). This way, you get a lot of experience interacting with women. It’s a good way to begin to train your chemicals to be around the women you want to be around…this is particularly helpful if you haven’t been on a date in a while. (Learn more about my experiences meeting women online)

  2) Be social with everyone. The idea here is to cultivate social skills. So, when you are in any line, for example, force yourself to chat with the people in front of, or behind you. Talk to as many people per day as possible by breaking out of your comfort zone – by interacting, we learn… this is really the only way.

  3) Approach women. I always tell guys that, even if you don’t want to “pick-up” girl, and prefer meeting them via social circle, it still pays to approach and learn. Here’s the line I give – which usually works: “I noticed you from across the (bar, lounge, cafe etc) and had to risk making a total fool of myself to meet you. My name is ___” Nice and simple, direct and confident – a very solid combo. The rest can be taught, but there is a price to pay by the student, and it involves the ego and our own internal self-image. Are you willing to pay the price for this education? It’s not easy…I promise anyone who works with me though that if they are willing to pay the REAL price, I will go the ends of the earth to help. That amount of willingness is rare.

  What’s your belief on inner game, and how did you improve it?

  Well, if the inner life is approached as a “game”, we are certain to lose. There are many forces at play that determine the states, feelings and thoughts that we experience on an hourly basis. The healthy approach is to observe, and learn over time that most of what we tell ourselves is a lie. Then, the idea is to create a little space between me and these beliefs. How nice would it be to wave a magic wand to create the states that I want. The problem is, life isn’t necessarily about getting what we want, usually because we have no real connection with what we want. Thus, we bounce around from drama to chaos and back again. The real idea is to love everything I find in me…pretty hard to do…but once I can do that, I have a real chance to love another.

  I do believe that the CEIC product line helps men make real progress in both working with himself internally, while also making vast improvements to his outside life. The BEST way to work on myself is in both directions. Most men lack self-esteem, and the best way to cultivate that is via ones lifestyle choices, along with specific inner work. We cover that in detail, as it is so effective, if done accurately.

  I deal with this in my ebook “How To Get A Girlfriend” and even more in our audio program “Natural Attraction”. It’s a shameless plug for sure, but if you want to understand the true nature of attraction, plus get countless tips on dating, fashion, style, all kinds of exercises to help build social skills and a step-by-step guide on how to build your lifestyle to attract the women that are RIGHT for you, you should pick them both up asap. OK – shameless plug completed. (thank you)

  Do you have a personal favorite field report (your own) that you could relay?

  Sure, the one from years ago when TD and I pulled two girls from The Saddle Ranch in Los Angeles back to Project Hollywood. This was done under the pressure from a paying student, and a reporter from Rolling Stone magazine. We did accomplish the mission, with a duel at Mel’s Drive-In with a certain Andre 3000 in a Spurs B-ball jersey. Looking back on it, it was totally fun. I think the full reprise is on a webboard out there somewhere. Very wild tale… full of sound and fury, and certainly told by…

  What is your current sticking point (if any)?

  In truth, it’s about finding the women I really want to be with. It is EASY to find “hot” women. That is no longer an issue at all. What is harder I find (particularly in NYC) is finding women that have what you’re looking for internally. Finding women based on looks is so much easier than finding the “person” you want to be with. The skill is in understanding how to relate to women so that you can quickly garner who it is you are dealing with. I have a very good strategy for this that I pass on to my guys, but there is still so much left to chance. Patience is the underrated virtue in this “game”. Fortunately for me, there is no real problem now as I’m involved. But I know for others it’s a real challenge.

  What are you goals now within the community, and in life?

  Continue working with men, and researching the nature of masculine/feminine intimacy – and to understand how further help men empower themselves while BEING themselves at the same time. Nothing is less helpful than work which leads a man away from himself. The real endeavor for us all is to know how to help lead and encourage a greater self-relationship. This is the only thing which leads to anything real on the outside and with others.

  Thanks Stephen!

  As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

  Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

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