Seduction Chronicles » Natural Game

Why You Can't Be Coached To Be A Natural With Pickup

Editor — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 23:14:19 +0000

There were quite a few comments over at the Real Social Dynamics vs Love Systems Bootcamp post that I published yesterday. I noticed that some guys said that the Real Social Dynamics bootcamps are for guys wanting to be “natural” in picking up women, and that a base of routines is a requirement for learning the more “advanced” material known as natural game.

What I’m about to say is not demeaning towards the commentators in anyway, which were quite valid in regards to the actual post. My discussion in this post is about the false concept of being able to be trained into a “natural” through a bootcamp of all things.

“If you are already talkative and outgoing, RSD can help you quite a bit. ” -Adonis

“RSD is definitely more intune with “natural be yourself” game while Lovesystems is for the guy who struggles in social settings. Both have their positive points and are really geared for different types of guys….” -Brad

The Concept Of Being Natural

A natural in community terms is someone who attracts women through his life, words, and actions without using canned lines or other forms of persuasion typical to routine-based game like Mystery Method. A natural doesn’t have a plan per se, but instead uses his life and personality to attract women into it. This is usually through social circles, charisma, and lifestyle.

Why You Cannot Be Trained As A Natural In A Bootcamp

Being a natural is not trainable. Why? A natural by definition is someone who writes their own rules, plays by their own game, and naturally attracts women through who they are as a person. Can naturals be made? Sure. Can they be trained? No.

What’s the difference?

Making yourself a natural requires that you are heavily involved in your life’s pursuits that are particular to YOUR PERSONALITY & LIFE. By using what you have naturally, you can expand your life and make it naturally attractive to women. Therefore, as soon as you start crossing over into “things to say” or “what to do” to project that natural attractiveness, you’ve entered the routine-based game arena. Routines are supposed to be from your life. They are supposed to be specific to you. The stories, games, cocky lines, body language tips, etc, that may eventually become natural inside you were still learned specifically for the purpose of building attraction. They were planned out originally from a routine-based game perspective. I think many guys think that a natural is someone who has the ability to dynamically reproduce those routines on the fly without rehearsal. That skillset comes from practice. A parallel would be sales. You learn the concepts and specifics, (eg. closing the sale, scarcity, etc) and they become natural to you and you can apply them to any product you are to sell.

The question remains…

How Do You Make Yourself a Natural Without Coaching?

You learn social skills, correct body language and build natural confidence that comes from personal successes in social scenarios through a specific plan. True confidence is only built through positive experiences in the area you wish to have confidence in. Eg. Approaching a woman in a bar.

In summary, you should never pay to be trained in becoming a natural.

Why do people want to be trained to learn to be more natural? Because they don’t want to come off as fake or someone they aren’t. Don’t you think that being propelled to an advanced level which ONLY comes through a natural learning curve is inherently unnatural? You should learn principles to govern yourself by, YES, but you can’t learn those in a 72-hour period. Those are learned through assimilation of external stimuli as you progress through your life, and by meeting others who employ those skills in theirs over time.

The confidence, “assertive dominance”, body language, charisma, and all these Real Social Dynamics buzz words are all learned through either trial and error or having a plan of action and NOT by a coach. It’s good marketing on Real Social Dynamics and other pickup companies to give men their desired result NOW – natural game – but that only comes through time and effort. By learning the principles of natural game you only further the gap between your current position and your goal of attracting women.

Do you need to be coached in “routines” at a beginning level to become natural later? Not necessarily but it would speed the learning curve if those routines are specifically from your life. Otherwise, the concepts you’ll learn to be a trained as a natural will in themselves make you UNNATURAL.

I’m saying that there is no need to take a “natural” bootcamp ever. Because the thing that makes you a natural naturally, is positive experience in your skills as a man. That can never be taught in an express manner.

Do naturals exist?

Yes. But they usually surface after YEARS and YEARS of positive experiences and the mind/body’s process of weeding out what works and what doesn’t.

“But What If I’ve Reached A Certain Level Of Game, And Want To Become A Natural. Isn’t A Natural Game Bootcamp Now Valid?”

No, it’s not. If you’re truly getting good results from women using routines or a plan of action, why would you want to become “natural”? Aren’t you already a natural? Or perhaps what’s needed now is tweaking instead of a complete overhaul. How about mastering those skills FIRST instead of worrying about becoming a natural? What I’ve seen happen usually is that guys get worn out, feel fake and/or don’t feel like putting in correct effort, so they see a magic pill to their problem which is… NATURAL GAME! “That’s why that girl didn’t like me! I wasn’t being myself NATURALLY!” NO… it’s because you haven’t integrated what works with your personality. You’ve come across as fake because you’ve taken the easy road and COPIED someone else’s routines or plan of action that didn’t mesh with you properly.

I hope that expresses my feelings on the subject, there is validity in natural game, but only in “concepts”, not skillsets. If anything those concepts can be simply viewed on a DVD, but its pointless to be coached infield on it. Incorporating “natural game” concepts is a slow process, and if you try to do it over one weekend you’ll quickly become what you dreaded all along – UNNATURAL.

My Life After College and What To Do If You Hate Clubs

Editor — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:44:08 +0000

I was a late college goer, I’m now 26 and finishing in December. College has been a great time, but lately I’m thinking about the changes in my dating life after I graduate. I meet a lot of girls in classes and social circles at college. The past year or so I’ve been experimenting with a few different things that I haven’t had to rely on since I was in college. Things like social circle game, facebook, and activity classes are ways I’ve been successful in meeting women that I can use after I graduate.

Unlike many guys in the community, I hate clubs. I can count on my hands how many times I’ve been. It’s not my thing and I hate the vibe. Lounges are different, I don’t dislike them as much. So what does a guy do that’s out of college and hates going to clubs?

Social circle.

With a social circle you can meet high quality women that are on a fairly similar level to your social value. Creating a dynamic social circle will help you stay on the offensive with meeting women. You’ll be invited to house parties, activities, meet random women, and generally have a fun time.

I think the single most important thing about creating a vibrant social circle in which you can meet women through is always be adding to it. Introduce people to each other and watch the opportunities to meet women grow. If you introduce cool people to each other, your social value rises and people will be more likely to invite you to fun activities.

So if you hate clubs first make sure it isn’t because you fear approaching in them, if so, get comfortable there and see if you still feel the same way. If you do, start building a massive social circle in which you can start inviting people into and meeting women through.

How To Evolve Your Personality

Editor — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 20:52:46 +0000

No personality? I can help…

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for months. The community is based around the notion of achieving more with what you were born with. But what if you could change what you were “born” with?

My personality is constantly changing and evolving, either in a direction that I choose or in an direction I’m not choosing. There is no middle ground. The evolution of your personality is not stagnate. Due to external forces, your personality will change. If you make a new friend and he’s always positive, your personality will reflect a more positive outlook. If you start hanging around unmotivated individuals, you’ll notice your goals will start being less important to you. Because of this, I propose a question to you… What direction is your personality heading?

How To Control and Evolve Your Personality

Despite what every teenager known to man has said, you can control your actions to achieve what you want. The myth of “I can’t change who I am” is just a sad excuse for behavior you yourself aren’t happy with internally. You can change behavior and therefore personality. I’m a huge fan of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and if you haven’t seen it, you should order the DVDs immediately and watch them. The show has a certain type of humor that is the signature of writer/comedian Larry David. As I started watching the series, I noticed I would start making similar “Larry David” jokes. Whether they were funny or not isn’t the debate, it’s the fact that my personality and sense of humor was evolving.

The Great Secret for Positive Personality Evolution

There are many myths about personality and what are able to change. The main way you can evolve your personality in a positive way is to surround yourself with the type of people you want to become. This has the fastest and most impact on your personality. Because this is a website dealing with getting more successful with women, I’ll focus on that.

You should ask three questions:

Which guys do you respect most when it comes to dating? What personality traits do they possess?
Which personality trait are you most deficit that if you possessed would bring you the most success with women?
Do you know guys around your life that possess these traits? If so, spend more time with them. If not, how can you meet these men and make them a part of your life?

The main point of personality evolution is to change your personality into something you want in your life. When you don’t particularly like a certain part of your personality, you can change it.

Further Resources for Personality Evolution

Double Your Dating – David Deangelo‘s ebook is a great resource for personality evolution. No kidding. David discusses changing your personality, character mastery, and techniques for trial and error methods for evolving your personality.
Comedy Writing Secrets – Hetlzer’s book in a nutshell teaches you how to be funny. If you’ve noticing your jokes hitting the floor faster than a chick in a rap video, you need this book. Just reading it makes you funnier.
Mastery – although not specifically about personality evolution, Mastery will help you track your personality evolution progress. Mastery gives you perspective and help as you journey along your path.

The Master The Vibe/Wayne Elise Controversy

Editor — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 04:17:04 +0000

Apparently, Wayne Elise has it out for Master The Vibe. As you know, one of the founders of Charisma Arts, Christian Hudson, created Master The Vibe with a fellow friend in the community, Sebastian Drake of theApproach.

Well… they have a recurring billing cycle in which they send you the latest monthly product, not unlike many companies (Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, every porn site ever). To me, this seems like a sensible option for many guys that want the latest conversational techniques without much hassle. This is a common business practice, especially with the advent of online billing systems.

A customer canceled his subscription of Master The Vibe, and got billed. So he contacted the company, they refunded him and admitted blame with a personal apology to him. Then Wayne Elise (Juggler) weighs in with his opinion on Charisma Arts forum (with Sebastian Drakes rebuttal) about the Master The Vibe co-founder :

What do you think guys – is Wayne talking a hit at his old business partner by saying he’s unethical and censoring his responses?

Christian Hudson Talking About His New Product and What Happened with Juggler

Editor — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 20:02:09 +0000

Christian – long time since we heard from you last. What have you been up to?
Hey Donovan, cool to see your site on a new domain finally! Yeah, I dropped out for awhile. It’s been a crazy eight months or so; I moved to New York, Charisma Arts and I parted ways, helped get another startup in the beverage space off the ground, and am now doing this Hidden Mic Pickups thing. There’s been a lot of partying, some amazing women, and a lot of growth in there too.

We all want to know – what happened with Charisma Arts?
Without going into specifics, the relationship just wasn’t working out. But I have respect for what they teach and I think the guys who work there are amazing. The Juggler Method is a powerful thing, and it was fun to help take that company from two guys in a coffee shop into the worldwide success that it is today.

Cool, so back to you… somehow I feel like the personal growth and the women might be related.
And you’d be right, mostly. I mean, New York is a tough town – everyone here is good at things. So if you don’t bring your “A” game, whether it be to work, dating, partying, networking, or anything else that involves people coming together, you’re toast.

Quick story – I got professionally connected to a woman here by a close friend, and I didn’t have much context about who she was. It turns out that she comes from one of the wealthiest families in town; Andy Warhol had been her debutante’s ball date. So I come into her office, slightly casual vibe based on the strength of my friend’s connection to her, and she sits me down and says “Why are you here?” I stammered a little bit and she said “Not good enough kid – you’ve got fifteen seconds to tell me why we should keep talking.” I ended up getting about five minutes of her time.

Those sorts of things occur only every now and then, but more generally, a lot of my growth has been focused on being a stronger man. Its much harder to be a good boyfriend and a strong man in general than it is to be a guy who is good at meeting women. A woman – and I’m thinking a real woman, like the wife of King Leonides in the movie 300 – has an intuition about a man’s strength, heart and truth. Even if he’s fooling himself, he can’t fool her. I’ve confronted some truths about who I am and what I want, and it took a real woman to make me do that.

Are there any specifics that have helped you out?
Well, I didn’t walk away from my relationship from last summer soon enough, and it cost us both a potential friendship. It forced me to develop some standards for what I will and won’t accept in a relationship. It’s funny – you know, within the first three or four times of dating or spending time with someone, if it’s going to work out. If you get a bad intuition, or there are obvious red flags, it’s your choice about how long you want to delay the inevitable and how much pain you want to go through. Big, big lesson.

More recently, one of the girls I’ve been together with on and off here is one of the top models in the world. You wouldn’t believe the social pressures she faces – everyone wants her to be around, everyone wants to have access to her world, but there is a lot of disingenuousness surrounding her. Dealing with this has required patience, maturity and support. You learn what it means to be the bigger man. I’ve also learned to appreciate “feminine” things that in the past would have annoyed me, but which I now see as part of the yin and yang of male : female relations.

So are you still doing “pick up”?
You know, I never thought that I did pick-up, per se. I had a chance to meet with Stephen Nash when I was out here, and we both concur that the skills you need to have a great girlfriend and a healthy relationship are very different than the skills you need for pickup. I think every guy should read his stuff and Deida’s work first, then start to work on their interaction skills.

With that said, I’m always meeting new people. Sometimes you get a number if you connect with someone… and I think that social skills and conversation skills are essential for having quality people in your life. When you have the right vibe and energy, you attract great people.

Having a positive energy and vibe… speaking of which, tell me about Master the Vibe.
I’m so excited about this Donovan. Hidden Mic Pickups is a monthly audio series that features live, flirtatious interactions between women, and guys with great social skills. I remember when I was 21 and trying to get my social and dating life on track, I kept thinking to myself “I just wish I could hear someone else do it.” Seven years later now, and there’s still no one doing that.

So is the product exclusively pick ups?
Well we’re meeting women everywhere. House parties, clubs, book launch events… so sometimes you’ll hear a true “pick up” – a guy who walks up to a girl with the intention of getting her number. Other times, well… there’s a clip we have from our friend Haresh, who was at a Mexican restaurant meeting friends for after-work Margaritas. One of Haresh’s friends’ friends brings a girl. So you hear how they connect, and how he sort of isolates her from the group, and this really daring way that he gets sets their next meetup.

We’re trying to cover the spectrum of what guys struggle with, and what we’ve personally struggled with. There are going to be months where we feature lots of interactions that cut off after the first three minutes, and I’ve got one interaction that is about an hour long, so that will be it for the month. Whatever the case, all the audio we picked is targeted to solve a particular problem.

How’s this different from some of the amateur hidden mic stuff I’ve heard?
For one thing, we use really good recording technology, so you actually hear what people are saying and you don’t have to suffer through lots of hiss and wind noise and jostling and all that. Of course, we have guys who are at the top of their game doing it too, so you’re not going to hear something that is flatly wrong and then try to emulate it.

Then we’re explaining why this stuff works. This is critical, because if I’m listening to this, I don’t want to just hear a guy meet women, I want to be able to do it myself with my own personality and my own stories and my own energy. Extracting the theory behind why something works is critical.

Is there a particular style you’re using? You were one of the founders of Charisma Arts, and you’re working with Sebastian from theApproach. Both companies are known for “natural” game.
Sebastian and I both have direct styles of interaction; he’s a lot lower-key than I am, but we’re both pretty direct.

With that said, we’re working with some great guys who are talented in a lot of different styles of interaction. Someone who wants to learn indirect, Mystery-style interaction skills will hear that, and someone who’s shy and laid back will also hear our friend who makes that work for himself.

Are there any things you’ve learned from going through this process?
Absolutely! There’s one huge thing that stands out to me… that’s the pacing at which these interactions move. I know that when I’m talking to people, it feels like things are moving very fast. But in fact, unless you’re running a routine or completely know where you’re going, conversations move slowly. That’s the point – you’re getting to know the other person, and taking in their vibe, not just blasting through the interaction. Its more Gears of War (stop and pop) than it is Halo (run and gun).

I didn’t realize until I mic’d myself up how many little pauses there are, how things can get misinterpreted, and how there can be up to 15 seconds of dead space. I started paying attention to this during some business meetings too. And what you learn is that both personally and professionally, it is very unnatural to have a twenty to sixty minute conversation where it’s like click click click and everything moves perfectly.

Ahh, other than that… I’ve loved seeing how different people make different things work. I have to tell you – Sebastian’s interactions are very low on flirtatiousness and tricks, but he’s smooth, has a great energy, and does a few key things that make the girls stick around. Its been great for me and since I’m the one who breaks down and narrates each interaction, I’ve had to pick out a lot of things I’ve never done before myself. Its been a great learning experience.

It sounds great. So what’s next for you?
Sebastian and I are working to get Master the Vibe nailed down – making sure the sound quality keeps getting better and better, making sure that customer support is A+++, and making sure that people are getting value out of the product. We’re having fun with it and we’re going to have lots of little surprises in the future. I am also starting another business in technology right now – very early stage but very exciting. Other than that… getting back into tennis this summer. If you know any New Yorkers who want to play, let me know!

***UPDATE: Christian has since left Master The Vibe and has released Hidden Mic Pickups.

Charisma Arts on Nightline

Editor — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:11:11 +0000

Charisma Arts were featured on Nightline recently. I’ve finally found the video where Johnny Saviour and all of them are doing there thing. They didn’t have Wayne Elise on the show which was disappointing. If you’re looking for more information on Charisma Arts, as well as their coaches personal blogs, go to their website.

Stephen Nash Seminar

Editor — Wed, 02 May 2007 16:58:41 +0000

Over the weekend, I had the privilege to attend Stephen Nash‘s “On Being Naturally Attractive To Women” seminar held in New York. It was a diverse group of fellas, but they all wanted to know one thing – how to be smooth, and charismatic with a sense of purpose.

I think some of the guys caught on faster than others, although all learned valuable lessons, and felt a shift in reality from being there.

Day 1

Stephen started by talking about what things are attractive to women; namely, security, autonomy, and masculinity. He went through exercises to help guys focus on what they really want out of life, which helps them gain a better understanding on why someone would want to be around them.

He then moved onto his Circle of Autonomy.

The circle of autonomy is made up of (if I can remember them all) Finances, Hobbies, Social Life, Image (Fashion, Style), Career, Health, Family, and Spirituality. Stephen was saying that with all of these in balance, creates an autonomous male, which is the most attractive of all males. (Alpha Male) Because he has his life together, is not needy, and exudes a level of masculinity reserved only for those who are on this path.

Stephen went into what your purpose is and what that details. Finding you’re purpose is one of the most important steps in the process of becoming naturally attractive.

We then had the pleasure of hearing from Michael Jancz who is an expert of the David Deida line of work. His book Way of the Superior Man which I recommend everyone pickup immediately was the basis of Michael’s segment. Although some of what he said was a little “newage”, most of it was good information that really helps you put in perspective the feminine and how it relates to us.

Day 2

Stephen detailed social skills. Engage, Hook, Connect in every detail imaginable. I learned alot of great techinques in this section, such as “Baiting” in which you simply and subtly, spur new conversations by dropping experiences in.

Eg. Her: Do you love New York or what?
You: Yeah I love New York, way different than the river rafting town outside Seattle. Not better, just different…
Her: Oh, what town?

Baiting is the best way to lead conversations, as it stops you from being “needy” and always asking questions.

Stephen then lead us into his social circle techniques.

Leading is most important when it comes to social circle “game”. Coming up with new activities, inviting friends, and making it as fun as possible puts you in the position of the “leader”, which makes you attractive and which lets you meet tonnes of women if done right. Stephen stepped the guys through this process, and what to really look for when you find a new group of women. Eg. the “gatekeepers”.

Then we had a fashion and style segment in which Jonathon Hudson, former GM of Charisma Arts.

Jonathon broke down fashion archetypes and what fits, what colors work on different guys and what to really look for when you’re buying clothes. Jonathon stayed around and fueled conversations as the day progressed.

We then had three beautiful women come in to give their first impressions of the guys. It was interesting to hear their opinions as most of them really didn’t think to badly of some of the guys I thought would be social rejects. Perhaps, they were just being nice.

Either way, every guy got up and got drilled in front of the whole seminar. It was awesome. Many guys got a tonne out of this, and it ended up being one of the nicest unforeseen highlights of the seminar.

After the first impressions and general vibe from the women’s section of the seminar, Stephen closed with a motivation speech about how to get these skills implemented in life, and really find what they want with women and dating.

Overall, many of the guys came up to me after and commented that they wish they took this seminar before others they had previously. I didn’t meet one guy that regretted it, and one even said he was so excited about his new view on life he couldn’t wait to get started!

Great seminar, with a great attendance.

For those who didn’t make it, you should check out Stephen’s program called “Natural Attraction, it goes over alot of the same stuff as the seminar, and is formatted into a 7 day “personal coaching” style audio program.

Who Else Is Attending The “On Being Naturally Attractive To Women” Seminar?

Editor — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 22:41:07 +0000

Stephen Nash, author of How To Get A Girlfriend, is holding his two day seminar in New York City next weekend (April 28-29th) called “On Being Naturally Attractive To Women”.

Stephen is apparently going to be sharing tonnes of new material, and teaching guys the natural way to having a life filled with beautiful women because of a strong identity. He will go into everything from inner game, identity building, and qualifying right through to how to plan a date, what to wear to convey your personality better, and how to have charismatic conversational skills that are not routine based, but that have as much impact and can connect you better to the people you’re with.

If you’re not really into ROUTINES and want to learn how to portray your personality and grow yourself as a man, then Stephen’s THE man. I once took a personal lifestyle coaching session with him, and he really dug deep and found where I was going wrong with women. Surprisingly enough my problem was over-complicating the interactions I was having with women and people! He helped destroy my failings, and set me on a path to true masculinity. He genuinely goes out of his way to help guys out.

The seminar is $449 for TWO FULL DAYS of seminar and practice sessions. If you’re around New York City next weekend, you owe it to yourself to check this seminar out, I’m going to be doing a review because I’m going to be there.

Check out the details and reserve your seat before the last 5 seats are sold.

Love to see some of you there, and introduce yourself!

Donovan

Stephen’s $25 Seminar

Editor — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 19:40:40 +0000

As you guys know I’m a fan of Stephen Nash (PlayboyLA). I’ve got word that he’s holding a 3-hour seminar for only $25 in New York City on March 11th. He’s a proponent of natural skills, identity and purpose for building an attractive and healthy lifestyle for attracting beautiful women, and for $25 it’s a bargain.
Check out the details over at his website.

Richard La Ruina (Seduction Master’s Interview)

Editor — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 16:19:00 +0000

A few weeks ago I read this comment on the Dating Coaches of 2006 post:

“Personally, I’d like to choose someone who is virtually unknown, but I saw him turn guys who you wouldn’t believe had a chance, into smooth talkers with a better chance of obtaining natural game in 11 hrs. I’m a little biased, because I’m one his students. Gambler, this is for you.”

I knew I had to get in touch with this new up and comer, Richard La Ruina. After a few emails back and forth we decided to do this interview, which I think you will find extremely revealing and inspirational as I did.

Richard can be reached through his website at:

PUATraining

Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, “I need to work out this part of my life”?

There was a night in 2001, I was 21 years old, had never kissed a girl. I was trading the stock market and doing pretty well and I said to myself “I’d give up all this for a girlfriend”. I said it out loud, and I really meant it. Having a girl then was worth more than all my material possessions and I’d probably have taken an offer to take 5 years off my life or sell my soul to the devil!

I met a girl within a few days and had a 2 ½ year relationship with her!

This boosted my confidence and at least made me semi-comfortable dealing with women.

After we broke up, I was single again and didn’t sleep with another girl for 2 ½ years. The same desperation came back. I didn’t realize I could learn how to get this sorted out, so I was focusing on improving myself – making myself more attractive by working out all my issues and problems. I lightly dipped into Speed Seduction but thought it was utter rubbish and didn’t have the balls to even try it out.

By complete chance I happened to be in Starbucks Leicester Square, London at the same time as an RSD bootcamp. I spied on things a bit and then asked Tyler Durden what was going on. He broke it down and told me to read The Game. I read it when it came out in England which was September 2005. In November, I slept with my second girl. The only game I used was to match her physical escalation. She initiated everything, even the extraction to the hotel. I felt like I wouldn’t have been able to do it if I hadn’t read the book.

Have you had any mentors and what did they teach you?

Before I came to London in March, I was working on things on my own in Cambridge. My “mentors” were actually these super-hero PUAs that can get ANY woman they want, ANY time. They actually don’t seem to exist, but they existed in my mind and this was the goal I was working towards. The fact that I set my sights so high allowed me to get good very quickly. If I’d hung with local lair guys from the beginning, my targets would have been a lot lower and I might never have been as good as I am now.

My inspirations all came from the products, I didn’t meet a real PUA until I trained with Brent in April ’06. I thought David D was a great role-model of an attractive man with attractive qualities. Tyler, Swinngcat, and PU101 produced products which were a big help.

I mainly got lines and mental attitude from these products rather than a complete system for pickup. When I tried them out, I got mixed results because I’d be generally lame but throw out the occasional very funny or interesting line.

Milton Erickson was my strongest non-PU role-model. His books served as a grounding to me since he was dealing with REAL problems, and was focused on what is truly important in life. Not only that but he was a genius and could do things that no other human being has been able to do since.

Could you describe what you’re life was like before you were aware of this, and what options you have with women now?

If we go back only as far as 12 months ago, I’d slept with 2 women. I had no idea if I’d ever find a girlfriend, have sex again or even kiss a girl. The whole process of getting a number or more was bewildering and seemed like a huge challenge. It was the uncertainty that was the main problem. The fact that I knew that I couldn’t just go to a club and grab a girl, and even if I went 10 times I might not get anywhere.

Now, I have multiple girls and options any time I like. I know that I can f-close 7 times a week if I like, or that I can meet a girl of quality (looks and character) around once every 3 weeks. I am dating an Italian girl who is doing a PhD curing cancer, looks like Monica Belluci and is pretty much perfect. I’m also dating a Brazilian girl who is super fun and sexy. Both know about what I do and each other, one even helps out on bootcamps as a HB helper! I have other options from strippers to models. I treat the girls well, don’t use tricks and never had a girl hate me!

What was your hardest sticking point?

The thing that took the longest to click and was the biggest sticking point was sexual escalation. I used to sit in sets for ages without going for a kiss or escalating at all. I barely kino’d. Sometimes I’d be in a set for over an hour without any moves being made.

One night in a set where the girl wasn’t giving me kino or IOIs, I just decided to go for it and pushed for the k-close and got it. After that I became more bold and the kino started to click and become natural.

Do you have a favorite step in your model?

I love to do a direct approach and very fast close so this is my favorite special move:

I spot my target from 5 meters or so, I’m not smiling, I’m looking cool, I point at her and tilt my head. She reacts in some way. I walk purposefully toward her. I give her a direct opener or compliment – “you’re a cutie pie” was a favorite for a while, say “come here” and pull her in, start dancing with her or just touch her hair. Maybe ask her name. Maybe not. K-close. When I imagine super hero PUA, there is no way he is indirect! That’s why this is my favorite move.

Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you’ve reached a certain degree of mastery?

I think the moment I got it was my first f-close. I ran good game, opened, escalated quickly, moved her around the venue, and then lead her to my house. It was pretty smooth. I even threw in some Speed Seduction stuff. I realized then that I had choice with women for the first time in my life. It doesn’t slowly build up over time. I think there are key moments which open the floodgates. This was mine for f-closes.

When I got my first 9 was a huge moment too. It was always in the back of my mind that I didn’t have one yet. Remember, I live in London, I’ve SEEN less than ten 9s in the past 12 months! That was when I felt like a real top level guy.

What advice would you give to newbies starting out?

Plenty, but here are 3 things that spring to mind:

1. Get over your inhibitions and approach as many sets as you can. A guy that does 100 in a day will close more and learn more than someone that does 3. If you are uncomfortable having attention focused on you, go and do acting. If you are uncomfortable being close to a woman, go to salsa classes. Do some crazy missions, find out your motivation and put yourself in the position where you have to act. Give your friend $100 and get him to give you $10 back for each set you open.

2. When you are starting, it is easy to study loads of theory. You need to balance learning, applying and refining. I learnt more in 2 weeks of gaming than 6 months of theory. It makes sense, try spending 6 months learning how to drive by reading a book and see if you are better than the dude who spent 8 hours in a car.

3. If you are not an attractive man in general, fix that. Work on fashion, body language, voice, extrovert qualities, social skills, building an interesting life, etc. If you focus solely on pickup, it can actually make you worse!

In your experience, what is the biggest issue for guys getting attraction with a woman?

Standing out in a positive way from other guys. You need to project fun, sexuality, and confidence.

Look like you are having fun and don’t care too much about what happens. Be comfortable in the interaction, be externally focused and out of your head. If you don’t show outcome dependency, excellent. It’s being almost casual about it. When you feel pressure, she will too. When you are uncomfortable, she will not be able to relax. When women say they want confidence, this is what they are talking about.

What’s your belief on inner game, and how did you improve yours?

I can talk all day about this area. Inner game is basically your state, your mood, your beliefs about yourself and women. You build inner game most effectively through results and progress. To build inner game before you start, you can try what I did. I wrote down a list of all the things about myself that I was unsatisfied with. For the ones I could do something about I made a plan of action and executed on it, and for the ones I couldn’t I learnt to accept them. Humans need certainty, sense of direction, this gives that. We need a sense of progress and you can get that by recording the progress you make in a journal. It also helps to stop comparing ourselves to others. Judge by your own life and the progress you are making. There will always be someone who is better in some regard, focusing on them is a recipe for discontent.

These are some things I used. I also studied self-hypnosis, NLP, read all the old Bandler books, everything on, by, or about Milton Erickson, I used subliminal music whilst I slept, etc. I used loads of tools and they all impacted in some way. Now I’m very solid, difficult to stress out, and generally in control of my emotions.

Do you have a personal favorite field report that you could relate?

Yeah! From 3 weeks ago!

I went to a posh club in London (24), was a good night, 3 k-closes with HBs. I got a 15 second k-close from using my “special move” as detailed above. I was in a great state – on fire – everything was working for me I COULDN’T get blown out if I wanted to, this happens sometimes. I didn’t extract any girls, nothing I was too bothered about. I was walking home, it was raining so I put my leather jacket under my top and it looked like I was pregnant.

I was walking with a friend. We were chatting when he gasped and pointed out a girl hiding from the rain under a shelter. She was a 9 in my book and the hottest girl I’d seen in 2006 with maybe 1 other girl on the same level as her. 6” tall with heels, blonde, thin, beautiful face, perfect skin, great smile, greeny blue eyes. Stunning.

I told him to go in, he went in and choked, shook his head and came back. He couldn’t do it.

I went and stood 2 meters away, mirrored her facial expression, she looked at my belly as if to say “huh?” and I rubbed it and mouthed “my baby”. She smiled. I looked at the floor next to her as if to say “there isn’t space next to you” and she took step back to let me in. I went and stood next to her right in her face. I asked what her name is. I was in seduction mode already. I went in to kiss her after 15 seconds but she turned her face so I kissed her on her cheek and neck. I do this if they turn their face. I asked where she was going and she told me so I said “I’ll walk you” and took her hand and lead her down the road.

I said “let’s go for another drink” she agreed and I lead her to my house. She objected when she realized we weren’t going to a bar and said “Russian girls are not so easy!” I said “I know, I love Russian girls, and you are special” in a sincere way (I did mean it too). She then started walking again and I got her to my room. I had no outcome dependency at this point, I had a take-it-or-leave-it attitude which she must have picked up on.

I got her in my room, she sat down, I put music on, she didn’t want wine. I said come here, she said “why” and didn’t stand up so I pulled her up, started kissing her, tripped her up onto the bed. Escalated with no LMR at all and had the best f-close ever. She was stunning, I wouldn’t change her thing. Plus it was all natural. No fake tan, died hair, tons of make-up, fake boobs. She was a diamond. Anyway, it took 15 minutes to get to my house, 5 minutes to get her into bed, and she was a NINE so it was amazing for me.

The PU skill? Nothing verbal, nothing I can describe too well. It was the state I was in + the confidence in the approach + the sexual vibe + the indifference and coolness about taking her home. I really didn’t feel desperate or outcome dependent.

She went to Russia for the holidays so need to call her again now because she’ll be back. But one thing is for sure, in London, it will be MONTHS before I even see anything as good.

What are your current challenges?

Finding quality girls! I don’t practice enough due to lack of quality HBs. My personal pickup goals are to be more dominant, escalate quicker, push the boundaries in this way. I’ve cracked upscale venues, celeb parties etc. Hmmm, not too much left. Just general improvement now I guess and a consistent level of quality.

What are you goals now within the community, and in life?

I’m torn between wanting to be the world’s best PUA and running a successful business. I think I need to come to America for both so I’ll be there soon. I am happy with my love life with a few good quality girls. I like to be in a loving relationship. ONSs don’t do too much for me. Neither does writing field reports or getting status from guys. I’m competitive but not a show-off, so I’ve posted on forums less than 5 times in my life!

You’ve started a company for English students called PUA Training, what can they expect when they take a bootcamp, and what makes you different from other English companies out there?

In London, we have the major US companies who have set up local operations, and no real home-grown talent. I don’t think the quality of training is up to US standards from the established companies since the local guys just aren’t the name-brand PUAs.

I put together a team who even the other organizations will admit consists of England’s best PUAs. We all have different styles and are not too tied to a specific approach. We teach direct, indirect, day, night, phone, day-2, dance-floor, natural game, and routines. It sounds like a lot but it is pretty simple. The system we teach can be learned and memorized and applied within 15 minutes. It is pickup boiled down into its essential elements from open to close. We then put the other stuff on top of this model so it is flexible enough to adapt to any student or any teacher. Because of this, some students leave and are routine guys, some leave and have natural game, and most have a mix but are working towards being all-natural. We had 3 f-closes in a row on bootcamp nights in December, and many more from dates following n-closes on the nights. At least 75% of students get closes on average which is better than any other published number I’ve seen.

Our bootcamps have 2:1 ratio in the club, have HBs that the guys can practice on before going into the field, feature wing-girls, sex skills training, fashion advice, and special guests in lots of areas. I wanted to get away from the “guy with a whiteboard” type of event and we hold our events in private rooms in bars and clubs and the guys are never sat listening without doing an exercise for more than 20 minutes. We have a big budget and spend the money on quality additions. We do day game AND night game.

Tell me about your soon to be released products, and what someone can expect to learn from them?

I’m writing an ebook which is 90% done. I went through all the material prior to going into the field. I’ve read every ebook and watched every DVD and listened to every piece of audio. Some is good, some is bad. A common problem is that none of these products gives you everything you need – the entire process from open to close with all the content you need along the way. Mystery’s book is the best in this regard at the moment, but it is still somewhat limited in its approach. The 7 hours, the negs, the mixed sets in clubs, no direct game, no dance-floor game, no day-game, no inner game, a very rigid system of steps. Basically I wanted to give a complete system for picking up women in any environment. I think I’ve achieved that. People love it so far and I look forward to seeing the response. I’ve basically created the book that I needed when I was an AFC.

Other products will have a similar goal, and so will stand out in the same way.

Your game is “natural”, why did you adopt this technique, instead of using a more structured approach to pickup?

Hmmm, well it is natural but still structured. I know what “phase” I’m in and what I can do and what I need to do next. But I freestyle it within that. Because I generally look for quality girls that I can be in relationships with, I find canned material objectionable. I want the girl to be attracted to me, what I have to say, and what I truly think of her. I don’t want to catch a girl by acting a role. I would hate to have a girlfriend who I used a routine stack on. I think that canned material is a crutch until you develop the skills to freestyle and “be yourself”!

I have an unbreakable routine stack, it would close pretty much anything, but I don’t use it. The second reason I don’t use this stuff is that it doesn’t test me, I like to exercise my mental muscles, sharpen them and become better socially through this. You learn more from freestylying 1000 sets than doing the same routine stack 1000 times.

I don’t understand why guys want to be PUAs. A natural with PUA knowledge can out-game 99.9% of PUAs. AFC’s should strive to be naturals.

You traveled around Europe with some great dating coaches last year, what can you tell us about meeting women in other countries?

Well… You have disadvantages and benefits:
You are a rare commodity and more attractive.
They know you aren’t staying long.
The girls are generally not as easy.
Language can be a barrier.
Some countries just hate foreigners.

Aside from this, it is pretty much the same everywhere. The hottest girls in the world are in Latvia. And the most harsh environment ever is the Latvian club scene! They will blow guys out on the open in the most harsh way possible over and over. I still scored every night but I really did pick my shots carefully and the HBs were scared to be seen with me in front of anyone because of the negative social proof of being with a foreigner. Somewhere like Sweden, it’s different, pretty easy, but weird things like expecting you to light their cigarettes (same in a lot of these countries actually, Russia too), and if you refuse it isn’t cool at all. They are not shit-testing, it’s a part of the culture.

Being around so many HBs on the European tour, my game went through the roof! That’s why I need plenty of holidays to places with hot girls – to keep my game sharp. Anyone who wants to take our English girls, please let me know!

You’ve offered to write a column on The Attraction Chronicles. What do you think you’ll focus on, and what can my readers expect?

Lots of things spring to mind. Right now, I think “A structured way to become a natural” would be pretty good theme. Natural game learned unnaturally! Haha. The advice is universal in my opinion.

Richard La Ruina can be reached through his website at:

PUATraining

Thanks Richard, it looks like we’ll be hearing from you again soon!