Improving your dating life can be tough, especially when women reject you on the approach. It’s part of the game. If you are getting striked out after the approach you might be doing something wrong that turns women off. It can be a lot of different things and you might be even unaware of the mistakes you are making. Here are 5 things to watch for that turn women off (and you want to avoid).

1. Pickup lines

Let’s get one thing clear before you even approach: pickup lines do not work. Whenever you approach a woman with a (cheesy) pickup line, she will shoot you down. By using a pickup line, what you are actually saying to her is that you are someone who doesn’t have any social intuition and you are someone who does not date women like her. Communicating those things automatically raises a red flag in her mind that you are not suitable for her to date you.

It’s even better to just say “Hi I’m Ben. What’s your name?” and go from there. Avoid pickup lines.

On the other hand, there are good conversation starters (or “openers” as some people call them). The goal of a conversation starter is to start a conversation; nothing more, nothing less. Once you have initiated the conversation, you need to engage her into an interesting conversation to build attraction and go from there (which I cover in depth in my book Magic Bullets).

2. Awkwardness

This one is easy: awkwardness. Women avoid awkwardness like men avoid grenades in their vicinity. It’s that bad. Common things that cause awkwardness include: long pauses in conversation and acting goofy in public with her. Like my fellow dating coach Future would say, “awkwardness is one of the kryptonites of attraction.” Awkwardness will kill any attraction she might feel for you so avoid it at all costs.

3. Boring

Women love interesting men and excitement. Being boring is on the opposite side of that spectrum and no woman wants to be around a boring guy. The task is simple; avoid being boring. If you can do that, you are already way ahead of most guys.

One common mistake is asking multiple questions in a row. Do not ask multiple questions in a row. That’s a job interview. Keep the conversation “light.” Do not discuss the existence of god or which political affiliation you’re part of. In simple terms: less logic, more emotions. Try to tease her like you would to your little sister or niece, tell some jokes, and share stories.

4. Neediness

Neediness is solely doing something for someone else to get affection or love in return. Being needy shows you have no options when it comes to women. It is conveyed mostly through your actions, but also through your words.

Examples of being needy:
-calling or texting multiple times a day
-you are too available
-you try to please her all the time (at your own expense)

Here’s a key insight to female psychology: women like men who are desired by other women. It’s like a shortcut for them to filter out men. If other women like him, there must be something good about him she is not aware of. Showing neediness is the exactly the opposite and will kill any attraction (another one of those kryptonites).

5. Bragging

Bragging about yourself is like screaming “look how insecure I am and I’m trying to impress you.” A rich man doesn’t talk about how rich he is and Hugh Hefner does not talk about many blonds he has slept with. Subtlety is the key to showing off the cool things about you. The more subtle you are about the attractive things of you, the better it comes across to women. They are very good at filling in the blanks and recognizing subtle elements in your stories, outfits, and possessions.

For example, instead of saying “A couple weeks ago I had a girl, who is really beautiful and a model, come over and have diner with me. She made the best pasta ever and it was delicious” you want to be more subtle. A simpler and more subtle version is, “A friend of mine came over to cook for pasta for me and it was the best pasta I have ever had.” The latter is very subtle and conveying that you have other women in your life. Do guys generally come over and cook? No, women do. Women will understand that a woman was there for you to cook. The context is unknown, but she can fill in the blanks that is was possibly a date or maybe even your ex-girlfriend. Who knows, but you conveyed the same info in a shorter and more subtle way.

Avoid all those turn offs and your dating life will be changed up-side down. Sometimes dating does not have to be that difficult when you know what to do AND what not to do. In my book Magic Bullets I go over in more detail what turns women off, but more importantly what turns them on. Click here to find out more about it.

Take care,
Nick Savoy

Alright gather around everyone, its time for acting 101: Subtext!

What is subtext? For acting, subtext is the underlying meaning behind spoken words as interpreted by an actor. What does that mean? Basically you’re adding additional meaning to your spoken words by the way you say them. I’ll give you an example:

Lets say I have the following (cheesy) script for a scene I’m about to act in:

JOHN and MARY are alone in the bedroom. Mary is upset and John is comforting her.

“John: Mary, everything is going to be ok, I just want you to know that I love you.”

Now if I’m going to play JOHN in this scene there is a lot of information I’m going to need in order to apply the proper subtext to my dialogue. Things like:

What is the relationship between John and Mary?
If they are siblings then the line would be spoken much differently than if they were lovers.

What happened just before?
What if this scene took place right after they had sex?
How would you reflect that in the above line of dialogue?

This is all information that can be implied with the proper subtext.

So.what does this have to do with game? EVERYTHING!!!

I tell students all the time “It doesn’t matter WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it” Women are MASTERS at subtext, they know that there is loads of information hidden in the way something is said. That’s why women can get so bitchy over seemingly trivial things that guys say; they know what were thinking!

So how do you use subtext effectively? Well I’ll give you an example of something I do.

So let’s say you’re in a venue gaming and you see a great set. Now in any given set at the venue, realistically, the subtext of the dialogue you exchange with them is going to be “I’m trying to win you over and make you like me.” A lot of guys subconsciously use this subtext when they open and are often blown out. Why? Because the women read into your subtext and knew exactly what you were doing, this is why you will hear “Is that a line?” often, even if she hadn’t heard it before.

A better way to approach is to use the subtext of your opener. This is how most successful puas operate. For instance, my opener involves me asking girls if I look like a drug dealer, so the subtext is simply that its bothering me that I look like a drug dealer and I need their opinion. When I say the opener I put myself in the mind frame that it JUST happened to me so that my subtext is believable. This is what I did for a long time and its how I got good at opening but its boring and doesn’t really create attraction.there is a better way.

Before I continue, a disclaimer: I am an actor and use my acting abilities whenever I can if it benefits me, so you can bet your ass that I act when I’m in set. If you have a problem with that or think that it’s unethical theatrics and trickery best left for the gypsies then just stop reading now before you get upset.

The best way to approach, in my experience, is to look at the venue as a stage (stop laughing) and look at each set as a scene you can enter into. Instead of using the above mind frames when opening I’m going to use the subtext of a completely made up scenario that makes me exude attractiveness. So I’m going to enter into the set under the subtext of “I just slept with all of these girls” and I will communicate that to them by the way I speak, not by the words I’m saying. All of my dialogue will remain the same as it normally was.

So what happens? Remember how I said women are MASTERS of subtext? Well in this case, you’re going to be glad they are. If you’re good at subtext (Take acting and improv lessons!) they are going to catch on very quickly and you will create attraction almost instantaneously. Women LOVE guys that they cant quite figure out, so if you go in acting like you just slept with them then you are basically a social enigma, which is like crack to them.

When students ask me things like “I don’t understand, you were talking to them about robots for 3 mins and then all of a sudden they were making out with you, how the hell did that happen??” Using subtext is how it happened. You don’t always have to use the subtext of “I just slept with these girls” you can use whatever you want, but this one works very well and I’ve had a lot of success with it.

Subtext is one of those things that’s pretty hard to grasp through reading. That’s one of the reasons why I created the DVD set “Beyond Words” so you can visually see it. You can see me teach in more depth other non-verbal techniques to attract women using your body language. Click here for more info.

Derek Cajun and Tenmagnet, both Love Systems coaches appeared on Canada’s Sex Matters recently. Check out the video, and the stuff they use infield from the Love Systems Routines Manual and book Magic Bullets…

Watch the videos below:

Nick Savoy is President and Program Leader of Love Systems (formerly Mystery Method).

I did a Q&A with the founder of Love Systems and author of Magic Bullets to find out what to expect at the upcoming Super Conference in Las Vegas, Oct 9-11th, 2009 is about:

Q: What is the Love Systems Super Conference?

The Love Systems Super Conference is the big annual event for people learning, teaching, or studying how to attract, date, and seduce beautiful women. It’s where the best of the best dating coaches come to share ideas, network, and of course to present their newest and best breakthroughs. It is three days filled with seminars, live exercises, and infield (going out to meet women with dating coaches instructing you).

It started as the Mystery Method Super Conference back in 2005 but renamed to Love Systems Super Conference in 2007. Past speakers have included:

- Mystery PUA (aka Erik Von Markovik, of VH1 The Pickup Artist, creator of The Mystery Method)
- Style (aka Neil Strauss, author of The Game)
- Savoy (author of Magic Bullets)
- Cajun PUA (winner on Keys to the VIP)
- Braddock (appeared on Tyra Banks)
- The Don (appeared on Dr Phil)
- Sinn (Sinns of Attraction)
- Brad P (Brad P Presents)
- Carlos Xuma (Alpha Lifestyle)
- Daniel Johnson (Pickup 101)
- Dr. Paul (doctorpaul.net, Deep Inner Game with David Deangelo)
- And more….

All Love Systems instructors will be flying in to be at the Super Conference. There will also be other guest speakers and so far Brad P, Dr Paul, and David Wygant have confirmed to come. We have a couple more in the works with a surprise guest lined up.

There are two packages: Silver and Gold.

The Silver level attendees will be able to attend all the live exercises and seminars during the Super Conference. The Gold level attendees will also be able to do live exercises and seminars, but will also go out two nights with infield coaching by our instructors. The price for Silver is $947 and Gold is $3,797.

Here’s a video of the Love Systems Super Conference of last year:

Q: When and where is the Super Conference taking place?

It will take place in Las Vegas, NV, USA at the Hard Rock Hotel. The exact date is October 9-11 (three days). We chose Vegas because it’s affordable for people come to Vegas and there are plenty of beautiful women from all across the globe partying it up.

Q: What sessions can we expect at the Super Conference?

What’s great about the Super Conference is that we will have two rooms booked. There will be two sessions running at the same time in the seminar and breakout room.

The breakout room will all be interactive. That’s where people will be able to talk to instructors and work with them on a particular part of their game. These live exercises include:

* Approaching and Transitioning – Get your approaching skills down!

* Teasing and Bantering – How to think on your feet and build attraction FAST!

* Physical Escalation – Touching gets results and prevents you getting in the friend zone!

* Body Language – Project confidence with your walk, posture, and gestures!

* Frame Control – Steer interactions the way you want it to go!

The seminar room is where the instructors and guest speakers will reveal their latest breakthroughs, give lectures, and talk about specific topics on dating.

Subjects have included:

* Social Circle Mastery

* Advanced Attraction

* Deep Comfort

* Inner Game

* Relationship Management and Multiple Relationships

* Callback Humor

* Day Game

* Strippers and Hired Guns

* And lots more…

You decide what you want to do because there are always two sessions running at the same time. If you want to work with an instructor, you can go to the breakout room. If you want to listen to a lecture on a specific topic, the seminar room is where you want to be. You can tailor the whole weekend to your own level of game. If you’re new to the game I would suggest you mix it up with breakout and seminar sessions.

Q: Do you need to have taken one of your bootcamps or seminars before you go can go the Super Conference?

It is true that the Super Conference will be covering a lot of advanced techniques and never before revealed secrets. However, you do not have to have taken a bootcamp or seminar of ours to go to the Super Conference. Even if you are completely new, if you take the Gold level (which includes infield) you will get the same experience as a normal bootcamp. The added bonus is that you will work with more instructors than a normal bootcamp, so you will get to see a lot of different styles of game and get feedback from a lot of different instructors.

One day before the start of the Super Conference we have set up an optional introductory program for new students. The Head Start seminar is about getting the foundations of solid game right. It will allow you to walk into the Super-Conference confident that you fully know and understand the underpinnings behind the game and to enable you to get the most out of the advanced theories that will be put forth throughout the weekend.

Q: Will there be a DVD of the Super Conference?

Short answer: No.

When we release our latest breakthroughs, we want to keep it to the people who will be at the Super Conference. Normally we release sensitive information only on the Lounge, a private forum for people who have done training with Love Systems, but we will be discussing all new theories, routines, and techniques in person at the Super Conference. That’s why we have people sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) to prevent our secrets and breakthroughs from leaking to the public.

Q: It’s too expensive for me. Anything I can do to still make it to the Super Conference?

We understand that in this tough economy money can be tight. We normally don’t offer payment plans but we want to help men out as much as we can so we are making an exception for this Super Conference.

If you can’t afford the Gold level ticket, you might want to consider the Silver level ticket. You can attend and participate in all seminars and live exercises, and it’s only the night training that you’ll be missing out on. Although there will be loads of other guys who will be eager to head out on the town with you!

Click here if you want to find out more on the Love Systems Super Conference.

Here are some reviews of students on the past Love Systems Super Conferences.

Sinn - One of my favorite things about Super Conferences is being around all of the instructors. Every one of them is a really cool guy. Can’t wait till next year!

Psilite – I had a lot of fun and thought this whole Super Conference was genius! Especially the way the rooms were set up. There was A LOT of information that was gold in the entire Super Conference! Much of it helped me a lot when I went out that same day. I wish I had a gold or higher ticker to go out with the instructors.

J The Ripper – My brain is still on overload as I’m trying to sort out all the knowledge that was handed down by the Love Systems instructors. They had a really cool format where you could basically choose your own schedule. The upstairs auditorium was dedicated to seminars, which was one speaker after another. Each speaker would discuss a different topic (ie Approach Anxiety. Routines, Day Game, Qualification, 10 Min. lays, Female Psychology, etc…) The side room and downstairs room were dedicated to group exercises, where the instructors would go over a certain aspect of game, and then coach you on it and give you instant feedback (teasing and bantering, storytelling, frame control, etc). I had a great time and recommend everyone check it out next year.

Capo - What can I say? I mean… the Super Conference offered way more than I thought, I mean, it was way better than I had anticipated, even having read all of what was posted on the site. I thought it was going to be a really fun and educational weekend… it turned out to be one of the funnest and coolest (educational as well) weekends I’ve ever had, it was really awesome. Every single instructor that took the stage or got to be in charge of the workout room was very knowledgeable and they all took as much time as needed to answer all the questions they were being asked. The Super Conference was awesome, I met a lot of really cool guys and got to hang out with some of the best instructors in the world, what more can I ask for?

SirSlick – Whatever you want, LS has instructors that are experts on different areas and you can just walk up to them and ask them whatever you need to know. I never had the idea that the instructors “were better” than the attendees. My impression of them was they were genuine in helping people and were just like “us”. I’d highly suggest for everyone to get a SC BC, it’s worth the money. I’m college student and tight on money, but the investment was totally worth it. It totally opened my reality on what I can do now and in the future. The BC definitely cut my learning curve by several months up to maybe a year, because it eliminated two sticking points and now I know what weaknesses I have in my game. With that I also have exercises and notes on how to improve my success with women.

Goodrake - While it’s great to hear someone talk about it, seeing the instructors do it, answer questions, and then watch and evaluate as the students did it was a great learning process. Almost without exception each of the presenters showed both a real depth of knowledge and experience about the subject matter, and a genuine passion for sharing this with the attendees and seeing it benefit them. If you come to one of these or a bootcamp, be sure to be prepared to take a lot of notes, in a quick and organized fashion. When the instructors are in their groove, the information is flowing. If knowledge is water, think of it as trying to drink from a fire hose. Even though I’ve been studying and applying this stuff for about a year, there’s still plenty of new insights to be gained from attending, as well as retouching on foundational stuff, and the occasional “light bulb over head” moment, when the clouds part and you see something you didn’t see before. How much is a “breakthrough” worth to you?

Monk – As I began talking to other attendees, I realized the lengths community members were willing to go to to attend this event. I met guys from all over CA, from the east coast, and instructors from London, Sweden, Paris, Thailand and other exotic locales. Everyone. Thank you. My life is different. Fears and doubts I’ve had since adolescence are gone, perhaps forever.

Guythano – I really had quite a bit of fun, but more importantly conquered some sticking points. It all just suddenly clicked. A week after I returned, it just started raining women. I would just like to thank everyone again for all their efforts to make the superconference possible and if you have the chance to go, I highly recommend that you do!

Xander - Let me just say that Love Systems truly is dating science. It’s an accurate term. It’s the most cutting edge, advanced stuff around and it’s constantly being refined by great tactical seducers. Overall a life-changing weekend and a total bargain.

Jiggawha - I was so surprised at everyone’s high levels of positive energy, and when I heard the instructors speak, I was instantly blown away. Every word that they spoke struck me with an “AHA!” moment, and shot my motivation up the roof. They were so down to earth that I felt I had a chance of becoming like them. I had already gotten my money’s worth. I usually never talk to my parents deeper than an informational level, but I called my mom Monday night, and we had a deep conversation for half an hour about my life and about her’s. It literally almost brought me to tears when I got off the phone with her; also making me realize how much I’ve changed over this past weekend. She told me how much she enjoyed the conversation, and I agreed. A conversation beyond an informational level hasn’t happened in over 5-10 years. Before that, I had dinner with a good friend of mine and we also had a really deep conversation about everything. He commented on how very different I am now, after coming out of this conference. All the attendees and instructors have changed my life and my eyes have been opened to new perspectives once more. Coming into the conference, I couldn’t even open a set properly, but after that first failed set, the learning has never stopped. Every single one of you has had an impact on me. Life has meaning again. Thank you so much.

Cleanface - The conference this year was nothing short of amazing! What an awesome event!

Zyder – The Love Systems Super Conference in Vegas was a really exceptional experience. Considering that I only first started reading Magic Bullets on my flight over from Paris then to say I was a newbie to all this material would be a bit of an understatement! The seminars covered pretty much every aspect of gaming women. Three days of seminars with the instructors often around and between sessions to answer your questions was such a great deal. I was genuinely shocked by how articulate and knowledgeable the instructors were.

Tenorio - I walked away from EVERY presentation having learned something — and that’s saying a lot, since I’ve read everything. Going out both nights in Gold Level groups…well, I don’t know what to say. There’s no better way to put theoretical lessons into action than through practice, and Gold Level was a perfect way to do this. I left the weekend with some sticking points nailed and a concrete gameplan for my evolution going forward. There’s not much more I could ask for.

SSnake – There was lots material that I had never heard or read and getting it straight from the horses mouth made all the difference. Of course, there is already more good material on-line, in books, and on CD then you could ingest in a life-time. I went to actually hang out with these instructors and network with other students. You can’t get that from media.

If you want to attend the biggest dating conference, you better get your seat. There are only a finite number of seats available and seats will be selling out soon.

Click here to find out more information on the Love Systems Super Conference.

Like what Love Systems has to offer? Check out “Magic Bullets“, it’s the essential pickup guide.

I asked Nick Savoy about his experience on the Tyra Banks Show:

Q. What was the audience reaction to you?

A. At first the audience felt little skeptical. Tyra is all about empowering women. I think that’s great, but some people misinterpret empowering women as being against the Love Systems movement.

Of course, that’s backwards, because Love Systems is all about what works and what beautiful women respond to in the real world. If women responded to men eating ice cream, Love Systems would be run a Baskin Robbins franchise. But women respond to the techniques of the Love Systems Triad – our original model of dating and seduction. So that’s what we teach and what we use ourselves.

Q. What do you think Tyra Banks was trying to accomplish by having you on the show?

A. I think it was a mix of entertainment, curiosity, and giving her audience a bit of insight on how men about dating and relationships. But I’m not really sure – her people didn’t try to script us.

I think she wanted to show both extremes – first a guy who could be attractive to women but doesn’t get what he wants because he doesn’t know how to get women to respond to him. And then guys like Braddock or myself who were once in that position, studied Love Systems, and are living life the way we want to.

Q. Why did you take Braddock this time? You went on the Dr Phil Show with The Don…

A. Any of the eight lead Love Systems instructors could have handled it, but it was really time to unleash Braddock. Everyone is talking about him as the next big thing with all of his breakthroughs in the pickup artist / dating coaching world. His teaching gets amazing reviews.

I’ve noticed that all of the big names in dating have a signature event. Cajun has Keys to the VIP. The Don has Dr Phil. Soul has his pickup video (and a bunch more in the Love Systems Pickup Video Channel. Fivepointzero has a TV show of him actually training rock stars on Love Systems. And so on.

So Tyra Banks was a great fit, and a good opportunity to put Braddock to the test. After Friday, he won’t be much of a secret any more.

Q. Some people say that by explaining Love Systems to a mostly-female TV audience lessens the power of the secret techniques you teach. How would you respond?

A. That’s old-school thinking. Sure, if you peacock like it’s a dress code and you use the same five routines over and over and then women see that, they won’t be interested. I don’t think most people can get good results today from dressing and acting like the VH-1 show, even though I was consultant on the first season. Before it aired, you could. Game is different now.

Techniques like the Love Systems Triad (LST) are so effective in part because a woman can know exactly what you’re doing and it will still work. No woman in the world is going to say “you have great body language; this must be a trick” or “you have great social intelligence and know exactly how to convey your good qualities without bragging – I don’t want anything to do with you”. Sure there’s a lot of secret sauce that goes into Love Systems (formerly Mystery Method Corp) bootcamps, but you’ll notice none of that hits the air.

Just last week actually a woman journalist came to one of The Don’s bootcamps (source). Not only did she agree with a lot of Love Systems, but she also admitted that “I have to admit that a lot of the routines, as delivered by the experienced instructors, would totally have worked on me in a bar”

Nick Savoy is President and Program Leader of Love Systems (the old Mystery Method Corp). The Tyra Banks show airs on Friday, July 17th.

I’m Nick Savoy, and I run Love Systems (formerly Mystery Method Corp) and if you feel a solid “pickup” slipping away, keep these three rules handy.

SECRET #1: Bait, don’t chase

When a woman seems to be slipping away, most guys (at least most guys who don’t know Love Systems) will chase her harder. She didn’t answer the last text? Call her! Phone calls are short? Ask her out!

It’s logical, but counter-productive.

You want her to invest her time and emotional energy in you. But once you’ve asked her a couple of times, continuing to push the same offer on her will make her want it (and you) LESS.

It’s the same with any kind of investment. Let’s say your friend Joe wants you to invest in his new business. You keep dodging the question but Joe keeps asking or hinting at it. The more he does this, the more SURE you are that you don’t want to invest. And after a while, you stop answering Joe’s calls because you smell his agenda a mile away.

A BETTER WAY

What if Joe recognized that you didn’t want to invest. Instead of pressuring you, he backed off, talked about other things, and only casually once in a while referred to his business but without asking you for anything. It sounds like it’s doing well, and one day he invites you to drop by and visit.

Well, you can do that can’t you? And if you liked what you saw, what’s going to happen next? You’ll probably ask HIM if he’s interested in more investors. Just like a beautiful woman will often start hinting at date opportunities and places to meet up when you’ve got some emotional momentum going.

The first key is to LOWER THE INVESTMENT LEVEL YOU ARE ASKING OF HER. There are many ways to do this, depending on the situation, but here are some of the big ones: