This guest post was written by Chris Shepherd (aka Tenmagnet) Master Instructor for Love Systems and author of The Ultimate Guide To Phone and Text Game

I get the impression that a lot of guys out there are doing decently well at getting phone numbers and building attraction, but are getting a lot of flaking after acquiring the phone number. This challenge is to help you guys improve your phone game so that you’re able to turn your phone numbers into dates. Your goal is to spend the maximum amount of time talking to women on the phone.

First, let’s talk some phone game theory.

Men and women view the telephone very differently. Men view the phone as a tool that allows us to schedule our lives and arrange meet ups with our friends. For a woman, talking on the phone is almost as good as meeting up with a friend. For example, when two guys chat on the phone, the conversation usually goes something like this:

• “Hey Dave, what’s up tonight?”

• “I’m going to Skybar at 9. Wanna come?”
• “Yeah, totally…. Hey, I’ll see you there, man!”
• *click*

Now, I ask you guys this: have you ever heard a woman talk on the phone like that? No! A woman would think that a conversation like the one above is weird and unnatural, and it’s exactly the way that a lot of guys come off when we call a woman and immediately change the subject to meeting up.

Women want to chat on the phone, even if it’s silly small talk. When we understand this, we can change our phone habits so they make women enjoy our calls, and feel comfortable and natural meeting up with us.

So, here are some rules for a little phone game exercise. Please don’t see these rules as hard and fast laws that need to be followed all the time, but techniques designed to improve your natural phone game.

• Contact women the next day or the same day that you get their number.
• For subsequent calls, don’t mention the meet up until you have chatted for at least five minutes.
• If you get her voicemail the first time, leave a message.
• If the woman you’re calling is busy, at work, or being distracted, just say “hey, I’ll call you back when you’re not distracted.” If she tries to get you to stay on, then stay (unless the distraction is really annoying).
• If you have a phone number, call it every two days, even if you keep getting the answering machine. Don’t give up until you have called at least five times.
• If a woman is picking up the phone, continue to call her every two days, or more (especially if she is investing in you by calling back). Do this with all of the phone numbers you have!
• Don’t be afraid to make small talk. If you have the phone number, you are in Comfort! You can get away with mellow chit-chatty conversation. Talk about any topic you want, just try and make it interesting!
• Try and get into deeper conversation. “What were you like in high school?” “Tell me about your family.” Etc…
• Call your female friends and women who have “let’s just be friends”-ed you and talk to them!

The goal of this is to make you into one of those people who is constantly talking on the phone, getting phone calls and socializing over the phone. You want to get calls back while you are on dates, and constantly interacting with a wide group of friends. You’ll be amazed at how this changes your social dynamic.

For the complete resource on phone game (and, especially, text game), you should check out Braddock and Mr M’s book The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game. Many of my clients swear by it!

Good luck, guys!
Chris Shepherd (Tenmagnet)

Guest post by Nick Savoy is President of Love Systems and co-author of the Routines Manual.

One of the biggest issue guys have is “running out of things to say”. Those awkward pauses kill attraction. I’ve been teaching guys how to succeed with women for almost ten years, and this problem always seems to come from the same two places:

1. They look for the perfect thing to say, instead of going with what is good enough. You don’t need 300 polished routines. (A routine is a story or a line or something you do that works…everyone uses routines, though most guys call it ‘using your best stuff’). 10-15 great routines for specific situations is good enough. You need a couple of good openers. A couple good transitions. Some killer attraction routines. And so on. The best way to learn routines is to focus on one at a time and use it in every approach. When you’ve internalized it and can use it any time, add another.

2. Some guys say they “don’t use routines.” This is just silly. Everyone uses routines. A routine is simply a piece of material that works and can be used again. Your uncle Marcel has probably never heard of Love Systems, but when he tells the same story at every family reunion about his ice fishing trip in Manitoba, he is delivering a routine. You already have certain stories or things to say that you’ve rolled out more than once in a conversation. Guess what? You’re using routines.

So, if you’re going to use routines anyway, you may as well use good ones. The Routines Manual is a great source of hundreds of the best routines that the top pickup artists in the world actually use every day when meeting women.

By the way, routines are not about “tricking” or “lying to women.” No one is telling you to repeat, word-for-word, the comic book routine or my stranded-in-Paris story. You can if you want for practice, but many routines are not about personal experiences (e.g., interesting observations or third-person stories). In any case, from using the masters’ routines, you can learn what they key elements are and how to make routines that do reflect your own life and experiencesl.

Not only do routines save you from having to worry about what to say next (and the threat of an awkward pause if you can’t think of anything), but they also narrow the field of likely responses. I’ve used some routines hundreds if not a thousand or two times and in most cases, there are only a couple of likely responses that a woman or her group will give. Then you can practice dealing with these specific responses. You’ll eventually find a routine that best advances the interaction based on her specific response. This is the beginning of a “routine stack” where instead of having just one routine, you have a couple in a row, in the right order, with contingencies based on her responses.

Nick Savoy, President of Love Systems, co-authored the popular Love Systems Routines Manual. Check it out here.

Here is a recent Q&A on phone and text game from Nick Savoy of Love Systems. He is the author of the Magic Bullets Handbook, the seduction bible for meeting and attracting women. If you are having problems with turning phone numbers into dates, this Q&A will really help you.

Dear Savoy,

I want to thank you everything Love Systems has done for me. I first read the Magic Bullets Handbook a year ago and read it again a few times last summer and got SERIOUS about changing my life. Holy F—! It worked exactly as I hope. Last week, I went back to my five year college reunion and no one recognize the “old Jason” but the popular hot girls loved the “new me”. It’s added a lot of confidence and FUN to my life. It’s like in the movies where you get to go back in time and do it all over – except it was real!

Through my friends [social circle], I hook up very easily. Bars are more trouble. One out of every two or three nights I get a same-night lay, but if I don’t go home with the girl, I can never get her out to see me again. This is even if she is BEGGING me to take her phone number? What am I doing wrong?

-J.S., Sugar Land, TX

Hi J.S.,

I had to really shorten your letter down; hope you don’t mind. And congratulations on your progress so far. Sometimes, as men, we are too focused on the next mountain to climb that don’t appreciate how far we’ve already come.

Onto your question – it’s almost definitely a problem with your “phone game” or, as we call it now “phone and text game”.

Phone and text game is the bridge between the first meeting (“the pickup”) and the second meeting (“the first date”). If you’re not good at that, you’ll be wasting your time meeting women since you’ll never get to see them again. If you’re really good at phone and text game, even very quick or fleeting pickups can turn into something.

My girlfriend before I left San Diego – a legit “10″ – came from a 5-minute conversation after the bar closed when her friends were yelling at her to get in the car. After some great phone game for a couple weeks, she invited me over to dinner and the rest was history.

The master’s guide to Phone and Text Game is of course the full-length book by top-10 pick up artists Braddock and Mr M, called The Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game. I don’t have space to summarize a couple hundred pages of text message scripts, phone call transcripts, etc., here, but I can give you a few pointers to start you off:

• Make sure she has your phone number in her phone when you get her number. That way she’ll know it’s you when you call.
• Never leave voicemail. If you have to leave a message, send a text.
• Text her later that night if possible. (This can be great for same-night lays as well. Meet her around midnight, text her at 2am with “are you guys still here?”) If not, definitely the next day.
• With most women, start texting instead of calling first.
• Vary your texts – they shouldn’t all be funny or serious or long or short or questions or statements. Mix it up.
• Never respond to her texts more quickly than she is responding to yours.
• Get a conversation flowing a bit first before you suggest plans.
• Make your phone and text game consistent with the initial pickup. If you met her for 5 minutes, don’t suggest dinner for Saturday night.
• Sign your name on your texts just in case. Just your name. Not “Nick, the guy in the red jacket from last night,” just “Nick”.

The great thing about texts (and phone calls to a certain extent) is you can “cheat”. You don’t have to think of the best answer on the spot – you can consult Braddock and Mr M’s Ultimate Guide and either use something “off the shelf” from the book or use it to inspire your own message.

If you’re trying to cram everything in 168 characters (a text message maximum) you’re trying to say too much. If she doesn’t respond to a text, don’t worry about it. Send another one later. Don’t even “notice” that she didn’t reply.

Alright, I said I wouldn’t go on forever. I’d really suggest you take a look at the Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game – just like with all books that are approved by Love Systems, you can download free chapters and of course it’s fully guaranteed for you to try it out for 30 days!

Take care,
Nick Savoy

Love Systems is one of the biggest dating companies in the pickup artist industry. ABC’s Nightline show infiltrated the company’s annual Super Conference to see if the dating tips and techniques actually work. There is cutting edge hidden footage of dating coaches picking up women and breaking down how it all happened. Plus, how you can do it yourself.

Unfortunately, the TV crew were escorted out of the seminar room at one point, because the attendees were about to see how one of the coaches took a girl home in under 5 minutes and broke it down how he did it.

To understand the tactics, insider tips and techniques on picking up women using a structured approach, grab a copy of the Magic Bullets Handbook.

Improving your dating life can be tough, especially when women reject you on the approach. It’s part of the game. If you are getting striked out after the approach you might be doing something wrong that turns women off. It can be a lot of different things and you might be even unaware of the mistakes you are making. Here are 5 things to watch for that turn women off (and you want to avoid).

1. Pickup lines

Let’s get one thing clear before you even approach: pickup lines do not work. Whenever you approach a woman with a (cheesy) pickup line, she will shoot you down. By using a pickup line, what you are actually saying to her is that you are someone who doesn’t have any social intuition and you are someone who does not date women like her. Communicating those things automatically raises a red flag in her mind that you are not suitable for her to date you.

It’s even better to just say “Hi I’m Ben. What’s your name?” and go from there. Avoid pickup lines.

On the other hand, there are good conversation starters (or “openers” as some people call them). The goal of a conversation starter is to start a conversation; nothing more, nothing less. Once you have initiated the conversation, you need to engage her into an interesting conversation to build attraction and go from there (which I cover in depth in my book Magic Bullets).

2. Awkwardness

This one is easy: awkwardness. Women avoid awkwardness like men avoid grenades in their vicinity. It’s that bad. Common things that cause awkwardness include: long pauses in conversation and acting goofy in public with her. Like my fellow dating coach Future would say, “awkwardness is one of the kryptonites of attraction.” Awkwardness will kill any attraction she might feel for you so avoid it at all costs.

3. Boring

Women love interesting men and excitement. Being boring is on the opposite side of that spectrum and no woman wants to be around a boring guy. The task is simple; avoid being boring. If you can do that, you are already way ahead of most guys.

One common mistake is asking multiple questions in a row. Do not ask multiple questions in a row. That’s a job interview. Keep the conversation “light.” Do not discuss the existence of god or which political affiliation you’re part of. In simple terms: less logic, more emotions. Try to tease her like you would to your little sister or niece, tell some jokes, and share stories.

4. Neediness

Neediness is solely doing something for someone else to get affection or love in return. Being needy shows you have no options when it comes to women. It is conveyed mostly through your actions, but also through your words.

Examples of being needy:
-calling or texting multiple times a day
-you are too available
-you try to please her all the time (at your own expense)

Here’s a key insight to female psychology: women like men who are desired by other women. It’s like a shortcut for them to filter out men. If other women like him, there must be something good about him she is not aware of. Showing neediness is the exactly the opposite and will kill any attraction (another one of those kryptonites).

5. Bragging

Bragging about yourself is like screaming “look how insecure I am and I’m trying to impress you.” A rich man doesn’t talk about how rich he is and Hugh Hefner does not talk about many blonds he has slept with. Subtlety is the key to showing off the cool things about you. The more subtle you are about the attractive things of you, the better it comes across to women. They are very good at filling in the blanks and recognizing subtle elements in your stories, outfits, and possessions.

For example, instead of saying “A couple weeks ago I had a girl, who is really beautiful and a model, come over and have diner with me. She made the best pasta ever and it was delicious” you want to be more subtle. A simpler and more subtle version is, “A friend of mine came over to cook for pasta for me and it was the best pasta I have ever had.” The latter is very subtle and conveying that you have other women in your life. Do guys generally come over and cook? No, women do. Women will understand that a woman was there for you to cook. The context is unknown, but she can fill in the blanks that is was possibly a date or maybe even your ex-girlfriend. Who knows, but you conveyed the same info in a shorter and more subtle way.

Avoid all those turn offs and your dating life will be changed up-side down. Sometimes dating does not have to be that difficult when you know what to do AND what not to do. In my book Magic Bullets I go over in more detail what turns women off, but more importantly what turns them on. Click here to find out more about it.

Take care,
Nick Savoy

Farmer, over at Love Systems, gave me this book to distribute to you all.

It contains a bunch of good, practical information for getting better at meeting women with direct game and during the day.

Here’s an excerpt:

How direct and sexual should the opener be, and should I have a few openers to avoid being a one trick pony?

There’s nothing wrong with being a one trick pony, as you put it. If something works, there’s no reason to change it. Using the same line all the time frees up your mind – you’re not worrying about which opener to use and you can concentrate on your body language and tonality without worrying about what to say.

If you want to have two or three openers, then I recommend practicing noticing things about girls that you like. Here are the two openers that I use from day to day:

1. The General one: “Excuse me, I just saw you walking past/I just saw you standing here/I just saw you through this telescope and I had to come and meet you. You are absolutely gorgeous. [Shake Hands] What’s your name?”

2. If I like something specific about her: “Excuse me, I just saw you walking past and I had to come and tell you that [X Y Z eg your posture is so alluring and elegant]. I had to meet you. What’s your name?”
Stay away from words like ‘awesome’ or ‘cute’. Use words like gorgeous, beautiful or alluring. Use words that girls use to describe other girls. I would stay away from swearing during the day, it isn’t particularly romantic.
But, really, use the basic structure for the moment, it works and frees up your mind to focus on other things.

Download your copy of Q&A with Farmer PDF (You need Adobe Acrobat Reader).

by Nick Savoy, founder of Love Systems and author of Magic Bullets.

You see an attractive woman. You don’t know her. You have no “excuse” to talk to her. Can you walk up to her and start a conversation – the kind of conversation that’s going to lead to attraction and more?

This is a skill any man can master. And one no man can afford to ignore – if you can’t comfortably talk to strangers, you’ve excluded 99.9% of the women whose path you’re going to cross in life.

So if you’re not approaching SUCCESSFULLY and CONSISTENTLY, then I want you to follow me here. It won’t cost you a cent. Just print out this list of 10 things, keep it with you, and read it every time you’re out somewhere where there are beautiful women. Master these and your life WILL change.

1. Do “warm up sets” before you get to the bar/club/party/park. Somewhere nearby, do a few approaches that “don’t count” until you’re in a talkative, social state of mind. The world’s best pick up artists do this.

2. Be “social” not a “shark.” The guy who walks into a bar, circles around a few times, and then gets the courage to approach women one by one is going home alone. Women KNOW this type. Talk socially to everyone and have fun – you’re not a starving hunter desperate for a meal.

3. Smile. That one’s easy.

4. Have a couple of “go-to” openers - things you can say to start a conversation that you KNOW will work. You don’t need 50, 500, or 5000. 3 or 4 is just fine. Pick a couple you like from the Love Systems Routines Manual – it’s 200 pages of guaranteed “things to say” from approaching to seduction that actual top pickup artists use in their personal life.

5. Approach right away. Once she notices you looking (she will — women have eyes in the back of their head), you’re either going to be “confident” or “creepy,” so be confident and approach.

More advanced guys can play the eye contact game, but if you’re having trouble successfully starting a conversation 99% of the time, keep it simple

6. Use relaxed, confident body language. Get your wingman to watch you and critique. For a complete video course with live examples (including using body language to escalate physically), there’s nothing better than the Beyond Words Home Study Course (my review) featuring Cajun and Vercetti. (There are some videos to start with right on that link)

7. It doesn’t matter who she is with. Attractive women rarely do things alone. So get used to the idea that you’re going to have to meet the people she is with at the same time as you meet her. (Day Game is sometimes an exception to this). Whether her friends are male or female, approach anyway. If she’s off-limits, they’ll tell you. We don’t have space to go into this in detail here, but women who have guys in their group are more likely to have a same-night encounter anyway.

8. Eye contact. There’s another easy one. Split it equally among everyone in her group.

9. Project your voice. OK, I’m not a successful Shakespearean actor like Daniel Vercetti – he could give you the drills that professionals use. (His presentation at last year’s Super Conference was nothing short of extraordinary… even instructors were taking notes.) Here’s what I did when I had to learn this… before there even was a Love Systems: put your hand on your chest, just below your pectorals. Experiment with your voice until you can feel vibrations in your hand. That’s the way you want to talk. Be too loud rather than too quiet.

10. Tell them you know Nick Savoy. OK, not really. But have something to say – you’re going to have to do 90% of the talking at first. Don’t keep talking about whatever your opener was about. When she starts breaking into the conversation, asking your name, where you’re from, what you do for a living – that’s when you know she’s attracted.

Read more from Love Systems by visiting their website and checkout local events near you.

Most men believe all it takes is money or good looks to attract women. You see it all the times in Hollywood movies where the rich guy is walking into restaurants with a gorgeous woman besides him. Other times when you’re walking down the street you see a male model walking with a stunner. All these images reinforce the belief that you need money or good looks to get women.

There is a little bit of truth in there. Having wealth will make it easier for you to attract women and so does good looks. But having those traits alone is not good enough. These will get your foot in the door, but you will still need to display your attractive personality and have good conversational skills. No woman wants to be with a quiet millionaire or male model who can’t have conversations with her or who can’t turn her on. Luckily for you, even if you are not good looking or wealthy, you can still date these types of women if you know the right things to do.

There are certain traits women want in a guy and we have figured out what those are. It has the secrets that will equal the playing for average men like you and me.

In my book Magic Bullets, the seduction bible of Love Systems, there are eight attraction switches. These are traits that every woman finds attractive in men. If you can display these traits (or turn on those “switches”) any woman will get attracted to you. Wealth is one of attraction switches and so is health (which is “mother” of good looks) but there are six more (you will be surprised what some of the other ones are).

You are fortunate that you are a guy, because the way attraction works for women is different than for men (as further explained in the book). Guys assume women think just like them so they assume the way attraction works is also the same. This can’t be further from the truth. For men is mostly defined by a woman’s looks. We want young, slim, and healthy looking women. Women view attraction very differently. Looks still matter, but what matter more is the social status of the man.

Here is an insight to female psychology: women want to be desired by powerful men. That is the biggest turn on for women. Now that does not mean that power equals wealth. She will get attracted to you if she perceives you as more powerful than she is. By having surmounts of wealth is just one way to do that. Another way to display that is by being more mature & experienced than her (why do you think most women date guys older than them) or you have a higher position within society than her (e.g. you are a lawyer versus she is a hair dresser).

Everyone has attractive personality traits, but you have to know how to precisely convey those to women. Bragging is a big turn off for women. Even if you have millions of dollars you still cannot get the girl if you brag about it. So what if you aren’t a millionaire? You can still get the girls knowing what the attraction switches are. Why do you think women fall head over heels over BROKE musicians?

In Magic Bullets you will find out exactly how you can step-by-step trigger those attraction switches in women. This is the secret sauce that equals the playing field for guys to compete with the male models and the rich. To find out more information on my book, click here.

Take care,
Nick Savoy

It got me thinking. Probably everyone can benefit from going back to basics once in a while. Attraction is like building a house. If the foundation isn’t solid, eventually the whole thing will collapse no matter how good you are at the late-game stuff.

In general, you can make a lot of ‘mistakes’ and still get the girl. But not with these 15 things. These are laws.

Before you go out:

1. The “Game” begins as soon as you leave the house. Women notice you before you approach them. They should always see you having fun, being social, and looking good. (Going out with fun people/good wingmen and to places you like helps with this.) If you’ve been circling around, acting nervous, or standing alone, you’ll need to have the skills of a Future or a Jeremy Soul to get the girl once you approach. Love Systems is about making things easier, not harder.

2. Dress in a way that is fashionable and expresses your identity. Most women see fashion as self-expression. How do you want her to see you? Dress that way. You can’t avoid this – if you dress to blend in, she’ll just think of you as the kind of guy who wants to blend in. There are some great tips in the fashion section of The Attraction Forums and a how-to guide with before and after pictures in the Magic Bullets Handbook.

You see a beautiful woman…

3. Move your feet. If you get the eyes-feet reflex going (i.e., see a hot girl, start walking over to the hot girl), everything else will – eventually – take care of itself. Get this down until it’s automatic. The longer you delay an approach, the harder it will be. Don’t skip this.

4. Memorize five good openers (opening lines) so you always have one ready to go. If you don’t have this, you’ll often stumble on the beginning of the conversation or even talk yourself out of approaching in the first place. If you don’t have a set of good “go-to” openers that you know work, grab some from the Routines Manual. Or create your own.

The first few seconds…

5. Body language – this is a massive topic and great body language can almost pick up a girl all by itself. Fundamentals for the first few minutes include eye contact, shoulders back and relaxed, hands calm and not in your pockets, standing up straight (don’t fidget), head straight (not tilted). Stand like you would if you owned the world.

6. Speak up! Love Systems has trained tens of thousands of men in person over the last 7 years. Almost all of them started off speaking too softly when approaching women. Especially at bars and clubs, she must hear you clearly the first time and it must cut across other conversations, the music, etc. Also, use your “chest voice” (Google it) and not your “head voice.”

7. Don’t “milk” the opener. Whatever you said when you came over to talk to her, switch off that topic after a minute. That’s crucial. You want her to see you as an attractive, interesting man, not as “the guy I talked to about such-and-such.”

Getting into the conversation…

8. Be FUN. Don’t be too serious or take yourself or the conversation too seriously. If you look like you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, she will have fun too. Fun is contagious…

9. … but don’t be a dancing monkey. You’re not trying to become her personal clown or court jester. Have fun and be fun, but don’t try to entertain.

10. Some things that are great for attraction and are also fun include storytelling, teasing, and role plays. It’s okay if you prefer one or two of these – each of these techniques has its own skill set. I do a lot of storytelling, some teasing, and a rare role play. Braddock does the opposite. Go with what works for you.

11. Avoid “interviews.” Don’t ask her too many questions. A question or two shows some interest in who she is as a person, but more than that is what every guy does; it’s boring and a turnoff. It’s also a waste – asking her a question about herself does nothing to attract her or let her get to know your good qualities. Instead, make statements. E.g., instead of asking where she’s from, make a guess. Or tell her where you’re from and she’ll do the same.

12. Similarly, don’t play tourist in her life. So you find out she’s a stewardess/porn star/nuclear scientist and you’re curious to know more. Save it. If she’s attracted to you, you’ll have all the time in the world to ask whatever you want.

13. NEVER leave a conversation because you “run out of things to say.” Force yourself to stay. Your brain will learn, if it is forced to, how to improvise. Or use one of the hundreds of proven “things to say” (called routines) in the Routines Manual or Routines Manual Volume 2. Be strict with yourself on this.

Making attraction STICK…

Some guys think of attraction as something that takes a long time but once you got it, it’s permanent. That’s doubly wrong. Women feel attracted to men all the time, and it doesn’t take long – within minutes of beginning a conversation. But if you don’t do anything to solidify or lock in that attraction, it goes away as quickly as it came.

14. Qualification is the best way to keep her attracted. By making her work a bit for you and by leading the conversation to a place where you and her admit that you are interested in each other, you’re not some fleeting guy… you’re a guy she needs more of.

15. Phone numbers are not attraction. Getting a phone number does not mean she is attracted to you. Getting a phone number before she is attracted to you is next to useless. Read the Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game if you’re a phone number + dates guy instead of a One Night Stand guy.

Obviously, this is only scratching the surface. Attraction takes up several chapters of the Magic Bullets Handbook, most of the routines in the Routines Manual 1 and Routines Manual 2 are attraction routines, and the interview series goes through the nuts and bolts of a bunch of attraction techniques so you can go over “how to” do them all. But nothing about attraction will ever contradict these 15 Laws, no matter how advanced you are.

If you ever break any of these 15, print out the list, carry it in your wallet, and review them until they are instinctive and you don’t even need to think about them anymore.

You can check out more tips and techniques for dating in the real world by visiting Love Systems at their official website.

A student recently posted this question before his bootcamp – pretty common to guys who are new to Love Systems.

“In some conversations, I do the majority of the talking. Meaning, I start a conversational thread, we talk about it for a bit and then it dies down. I start up a new one and the same thing happens. Sometimes the women give one word answers and invest little into the conversation. I’m not getting the indicators of attraction that I want. I will ask them a question, they will answer, but then that’s it.”

Tenmagnet: If you’re having problems getting attraction, it’s usually because of something you’re doing wrong earlier in the interaction. There are a few things you might be doing wrong:

1) Being too “gamey.” MORE IS NOT BETTER when you’re talking about attraction routines. Too many can get weird pretty quickly. Attraction routines are great for when you get stuck – when you don’t know what to say next. But what really generates attraction is when you demonstrate confidence, humor, etc., and of course great body language and non-verbal communication. If you’re not demonstrating these things (or the other attraction switches from Magic Bullets), you’re not generating attraction, attraction routine or not.

Solution: You want to engage the people in her group, make them laugh, generate a bit of attraction and then CHILL. That is to say, once you HAVE attraction, you need to move forward to the next step in the Love Systems Triad (click here for the free download). If you keep trying for more attraction you will blow it.

2) Being weak on the opener/conversation starter. If your opener is weak, you’ll usually see the effects about a minute or two in. Opening poorly can make it very hard to get attraction. If your first line sounds nervous, awkward, too eager, or like you’re reading a script, or if she’s seen you wandering around the last 15 minutes getting the courage to approach her… well, you risk getting the kind of reaction you described a couple of minutes later when you try to continue the conversation.

Solution: Practice your openers, practice making them spontaneous, invent your own openers, and above all else, HAVE FUN when you’re out, and make that energy infectious. [NS: Braddock's Blog has a great new post about this - click this link]

3) Giving up too early. Some women will giggle and be all over you when they’re attracted – many will not. Some women are bad conversationalists, some are shy, and some have bad “game” themselves and mess things up when they are attracted. Indicators of attraction (the “tells” or “giveaways” that women do without knowing it that show when they are attracted to someone, listed in Magic Bullets) are guidelines, not a straightjacket.

Solution: Don’t be too strict in worrying about the lack of indicators of attraction – if they’re not coming but you’re having a good conversation, keep moving forward along the Love Systems Triad Model and see what happens. Don’t bail just because a woman isn’t giving you strong “I like you” signals.

There’s another thing to think about too – the overall “vibe” of the room. A lot of the time, the women I approach early in the night are friendly enough, but chemistry doesn’t come easily. You can do really well for yourself by bailing from those approaches after a couple of minutes – on a high note – and re-opening at midnight when the girls have had a chance to relax, be social, and see you having a great time around the bar. Suddenly, there’s chemistry.

Check out the Routines Manual and Magic Bullets book by Love Systems.