Where I’m from? Well physically speaking, Planet Earth; more specifically, Chicago, IL. Intellectually and emotionally, however, I’ve come from a kid born with a rare bone disorder that has confined my mobility to a wheelchair, stunted my growth to only three feet, and made my bones extremely brittle, fracturing over 200 times by age 18. I grew up often frustrated that people would stare at me, kids would point and laugh at my appearance, and I could NEVER blend in and be normal. As an adult though, my condition is seen as a blessing. “Peacocking” is not necessary because I am the freaking peacock. One look at me and I’m in your brain FOREVER; that comes in quite handy with women. I never have to do crazy things, die my hair, ink my body up, or trip and fall into a tackle box (get lots of piercings) to get attention. I just have to show up.

As far as my ‘Love Evolution,’ I was quite the late bloomer. I didn’t get my first kiss until I was 19. I didn’t have my first sexual experience until age 24 and my first REAL girlfriend until age 26. Women loved being my ‘friend’ and hanging out with me, but I never converted them into lovers and girlfriends until I got my inner game together. I used to blame my lack of success on my physical condition, “Women can’t be attracted to a little man in a wheelchair.”

That was my pathetic mantra from age 12 until age 24. I broke the cycle when I started studying what women really want in a man. When I discovered that my inner game (confidence and self-worth) is the ultimate determining factor in creating attraction, I took off. Within one year I acquired more intimacy than in my entire previous dating history. Now I’m dating some of the most attractive, talented, and loving women around. My transformation was so radical that I couldn’t keep it to myself; I had to share my insights and explorations with the world in my online Magazine: www.InnerGameMagazine.com. Guys struggling in their dating life often don’t realize that they need to get their mind/life together to create solid attraction.

Have you had any huge realizations about inner game that you’ve only had in the last year?

More than I can count. Every time I sit down with an IGM cover story guest, my mind is blown away with insights about the male and female mind. Here’s a few for you:

• If you don’t find yourself attractive, you’ll give off the vibe that neither should the women you want. Spend a few minutes a day looking in the mirror looking for your attractive qualities: hair, eyes, smile, whatever! This isn’t some new age crap; I’m serious. Find yourself attractive and radiate that energy.

• If you get involved in philanthropy and give back to the planet and humanity you accomplish three powerful things…

  1. You meet hot women who are into more than themselves.

  2. You develop your life into a more interesting experience, which is more attractive.

  3. You feel better about yourself and life, which is more fulfilling than anything you could do or buy.

• If you get into badass shape physically something magical takes place in your inner game: you develop discipline, you feel better emotionally (less foggy), you feel more powerful, and you look healthier (which is more attractive).

Is there one big key to focus on for self esteem and confidence that can help guys who are just starting out?

Read the book One Small Step Can Change Your Life.

I didn’t write it, nor do I even know the author. It’s a book that I recommend to all my clients before they come and see me. I find when you want to develop your confidence and self-esteem, you have to be reminded that Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes some time for a new identity to take root in a man’s mind. Stay positive through the process, even if you fall on your face 100 times while getting your inner game together.

I still have days where fear and insecurity nibble on my mind; that’s no cause to resort to quitting or sulking that I’m not perfect. I would also tell you to surround yourself with resources and people that believe in you more than you believe in yourself. On those dark days when you trip and fall, they’ll be right there cheering you on to get back up, not kicking you for being the idiot that fell. You can’t grow a strong plant in compromised/toxic soil, and you can’t grow a healthy self-esteem and confidence in a place of negativity, cynicism, and doubt.

Flush away negative influences. It’s tough to do so; however, it’s imperative. Anything else I could teach you is pointless if your living, working, and socializing environments are not supportive.

Where do you meet most of the women you date?

Charity events, bookstores, coffee houses, personal growth seminars, and the gym. I use to meet women in clubs, bars, and restaurants;however, that often left me with disappointment. Reason being is those girls were either flakes, train wrecks, or had low expectations in life. I personally want a gal who has her life together and is capable of being self-sufficient and open to giving and receiving love fully. Don’t go after a girl at a club at 3:00am who is bombed out of her mind and then think she’s going to be extremely responsible and mature the next day. Where you meet someone is more telling than just the place you reference in a story of how you met.

Which people have you had personal dealings with that have helped your inner game? What did they teach you?

I have been mentored by dozens of the most amazing individuals; here are a few…

Byron Katie: An unquestioned mind is a mind in chaos. You can’t change people; you can only live your life as an example around them. You have to love ‘what is’ rather than mope about ‘what should be.’ If you fight with ‘what is’ you lose, but only 100% of the time.

Ask yourself on a regular basis when you have chaotic thoughts:

1. Is that true?

2. Can you absolutely know that’s true?

3. How does that thought make you feel?

4. Who would you be without that thought?

5. What is the opposite of that thought?

Tony Robbins: You have to live life with passion. You can’t play the game of life half-assed; if you do, you’ll get half-assed results. There are six human needs we all have to have met on some level:

1. You need Certainty: predictability of what will happen next.

2. You need Uncertainty: variety of new experiences.

3. You need Significance: attention from those around you.

4. You need Love/Connection: bonding with those you care about.

You can’t feel fulfilled without the last two:

5. You need Growth: expansion of your life.

6. You need Contribution: giving back to humanity/the planet.

Gary Chapman: Love is expressed like a language; if you don’t speak to someone in their language, it’s like you never spoke to them at all.

1. Some of us need words of affirmation, i.e. compliments and words of encouragement.

2. Some of us need physical touch, i.e. hug, pat on the back, or sessions of being held close.

3. Some of us need gifts, i.e. some physical/tangible item to show someone that we thought of them.

4. Some of us need quality time, i.e. sitting in the park just being together saying nothing.

5. Some of us need acts of service, i.e. cooking a meal, mowing their lawn, or fixing their car.

David DeAngelo: Attraction isn’t a choice. Once you spark attraction in a woman she will feel it on some level for you forever. The way you spark it best is by having an exciting life, being playful, and standing your ground when she starts testing you.

Deepak Chopra: We are all energy. If you are not attracting what you want into your life it is because you are not at the highest mental awareness (vibration). You must align your mind, body, and spirit if you want to start creating the life of your dreams.

No element of your life can be disconnected from your life. If you are sick, tired, broke, or hurting in any way, it will eventually surface in every area of your life.

Larry Winget: If your life sucks, it’s cause you suck. You are afraid to work hard and get bruised. The people who accomplish the most and get the most juice out of their life are the ones that take the most responsibility for their life and NEVER blame anyone or anything. PERIOD!

Don Miguel Ruiz: You must master the four most powerful agreements:

Agreement 1: Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Agreement 2: Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Agreement 3: Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Agreement 4: Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Even with your confidence now, what happens when self-doubt creeps in at a later time? How do you deal with that?

I zoom out and ask the questions:

“Is this life or death?”

“What good am I accomplishing by coming from fear?”

Then, if the fear/doubt is really strong, I employ the Cartesian logic:

1. What would happen if this did happen?

2. What would happen if this didn’t happen?

3. What wouldn’t happen if this did happen?

4. What wouldn’t happen if this didn’t happen?

Run that on your brain and you’ll come out the other end a pile of mush; Issue neutralized.

I also will go out and read from empowering books, review empowering journal entries of mine, or go a few minutes on my punching bag.

Doubt is a virus and it has no place in your mind; that’s why it hosts on you. You need to find it and get it out of there IMMEDIATELY.

You studied under Tony Robbins. What did you learn from him?

That I was capable of FAR more than I realized. He taught me if you make something “a MUST” you will pool every resource possible to make it happen… versus “a should,” which most people NEVER get around to doing.

I learned that the body and mind work together in every second to create our experience of reality, and we must listen closely to both.

I learned that people will judge you no matter what you do so you might as well be living life on your terms and be having a blast.

Has anything you learned from Tony Robbins proven incorrect or inapplicable as you’ve gone through life?

While I know he’s not perfect, his material has always checked out and worked for me and my clients. Tony has been nothing but a powerful resource in my life. Sure, I was sad the day I realized he wasn’t flawless. I was shocked that even the KING of personal growth had a temper, made bad decisions, and did things differently than I might have, but that’s all a part of being human. His human side doesn’t discredit his material.

What is the biggest inner game problem guys have within the community? What can they do to remedy it?

Thinking that their problem is external, i.e. that women are messed up, that they just don’t have the ‘right line,’ and that they aren’t good looking enough. It’s ALL BS!!!

The problem lies internally. They don’t feel like they have what it takes; they feel flawed and incapable of being lovable.

Everyone has a different remedy that is customized to where they are. Everyone in the community wants a blanket answer. Give me the five steps to getting laid – that’s a bunch of crap. If you get laid, sure you’ll feel good, for awhile…but then the “I’m not enough” dragon will surface again in a few hours, days, or weeks.

No amount of “closes” will make you feel complete and truly happy.

The guys in the community must realize that they must face their fears and do so in a healthy, safe, and professional manner. For some, that might mean hiring a skilled coach; for others it might mean reading 100 books; for some it might mean getting their finances in order, and for others it could mean getting in shape. Without a stable life, you are building a gaming toolbox that will eventually leave you skilled at seduction and empty in fulfillment….not to mention that you won’t land a loving woman who will be willing to face the good times and bad with you.

Do you have any field reports of you personally that you can relate to help the readers?

The term ‘field reports’ creeps the hell out of me. I think you mean, “do I have any successful events that might help a guy out.” Yes. I detail many of them in my free eBook Top 10 Inner Game Killers, which you can get by going to www.InnerGameMagazine.com

To give you one right now, I’d share this…

I’d been friends with this gorgeous girl for years. I thought I was stuck in the friend zone for years. Slowly but surely she saw my life transform as I got my inner game together. She saw my life become more and more exciting. She saw me get super busy and extremely mature and responsible.

Then one night we sat on a coach together watching a football game. We started holding hands, cuddling, and sending very warm energy to each other.

Something magically shifted; she was starting to fall for me. That sparked a several month relationship that was filled with sex, love, fun, caring, and lots of connection. While the relationship didn’t last forever, it taught me that when a man gets his life together, women take notice. There is no such thing as the friend zone if you create an attractive life and you are giving a woman unconditional love.

What is inner game magazine, what can guys expect?

There are two ways to subscribe to Inner Game Magazine. The Basic subscription is FREE and will give you a weekly article written by me or my editor and inside woman, Liz.

The Premium subscription will give you all of the benefits of the Basic, plus a monthly high quality audio interview where I sit down with some of the best experts in the field of inner game. Along with the interview you will get the Premium Pages, which are like Cliff Notes for each interview. All of this is only $15 a month and $1 for the first issue.

Why should guys be subscribed to it?

While you will no doubt get great information from reading the articles available in the Basic subscription, they won’t help you truly develop your inner game.

For that, you need a Premium subscription. Each month, I sit down with a male dating expert and find out the inner workings of his mind and his life. I don’t just shoot the breeze with him; my interviews all follow a system that allows you to model these men so that eventually your life will be as exciting and fulfilling as theirs are.

Women will not find a man attractive if she senses that he is flaky or does things halfway. A Premium subscription is the only way to truly commit to becoming the man who women want.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/09/08/sean-stephenson-interview/feed/ 3 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/07/03/live-the-life-you-love/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/07/03/live-the-life-you-love/#comments Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:59:51 +0000 David Wygant http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=592 “Live the life you love. Love the life you live.”

These are the exact words on the charm on my dog’s collar. It’s interesting that a five year-old black Labrador can be walking around with a statement that most people don’t follow.

Think for a second. You are trying to attract (note that the key word here is “attract”) a member of the opposite sex for you to date. Most people don’t understand the art of attraction, and they spend their nights chasing the opposite sex in places that they’re not having fun.

Let’s go deeper into this. What makes you think that if you go out on a Friday or Saturday night, that you are going to meet somebody . . . especially if you have never really met somebody interesting before on a Friday or Saturday night?

Do you love standing around at a bar? Is it your belief that this is your only option . . . or have you made it your only option because you have not thought outside the box? Recently I posted a video about how in my life I do what I love all the time, thus allowing me to attract and meet women in a very natural way.

I don’t like standing around in a bar on a Friday night. I find it boring. I also don’t like drunk talk. I don’t really drink. If you do, that’s wonderful. It is just not really my lifestyle. Sitting around having someone slur their words at me on a Friday night is boring.

So for me, I spend my time doing the things I love to do: I go to a yoga class. I go to a bookstore. I go get some dinner with a friend not because the place is hot, but rather because the food is good and because I like the atmosphere.

By doing what I love, I am creating good energy wherever I go and thus attracting women into my life. Put me in a bar, and I don’t attract anybody because I’m not happy there.

This is the profound meaning of “Live the life you love. Love the life you live.” By doing what you love, you will be passionate about it. This will lead to passionate encounters and interesting conversations with the opposite sex.

By choosing to do things you love, you will also always have a lot to about with others. When I go to an art gallery, I have a lot to talk about with people.

I never go to places that I would only be going to because “women are going to be there.” Women are everywhere. You just have to open your eyes and see all the available people. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my work, I call this observation practice. I go over this extensively in my Men’s and Women’s Audio Mastery Series

Some of the worst dating advice that has been prevalent over the years is to tell people to look for members of the opposite in places “where men go” or “where women go” REGARDLESS of whether these places are places people have any interest in going.

For instance, women have been told to take an auto mechanics class because “men will be there” even when a woman has no interest in learning how to fix cars. This is ridiculous! Even if a woman would meet a man there, what would they have in common? Also, why would you want to deliberately set out to meet someone whom you know is interested in something you’re not?!

I know there are women in a cooking class. I don’t like to cook . . . I like to eat takeout. So I’d rather meet women at a takeout class.

Now instead of me continuing to go deeper into this, I want you to make a list of all the things that YOU love to do. Then the next time you are doing one of the things that you love to do, look around and see if there are members of the opposite sex there also.

Granted, if you are a woman who loves needlepoint, there is a pretty good change that the man of your dreams is not going to be there doing ‘knit one pull two.” There are just some places that men will be men and women will be women. Most of life, though, is coed.

So do what my dog Daphne does . . . Live the life you love, and love the life you live.

Check out more from David Wygant at his website.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/07/03/live-the-life-you-love/feed/ 1 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/06/02/sean-stephenson-backstage-photo-at-jimmy-kimmel/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/06/02/sean-stephenson-backstage-photo-at-jimmy-kimmel/#comments Tue, 03 Jun 2008 02:28:39 +0000 Donovan http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=547 I had lunch with Sean Stephenson Saturday morning in Chicago. He’s quite a cool guy. Very inspirational and I’ll be doing an interview with him very soon. Here is a photo of him backstage. If you haven’t seen the video, Sean was featured on Jimmy Kimmel last Thursday. He also has released a magazine called Inner Game Magazine.

Top row from left to right: David DeAngelo, John Costello Sr.,
Liz Peters (IGM Editor), Shawn Royster, Gregg Stephenson (My Dad).

Center row: Zan Perrion (IGM Cover Story), John Costello Jr.,
Jimmy Kimmel, Craig

Bottom row: Bryn Freedman (E.P. of my TV show),
Alex Allman (IGM Cover Story), Andrea Albright,
Tiamo (World Famous Musician)

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/06/02/sean-stephenson-backstage-photo-at-jimmy-kimmel/feed/ 0 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/25/approach-anxiety-ii-paul-janka/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/25/approach-anxiety-ii-paul-janka/#comments Sun, 25 May 2008 22:57:50 +0000 Donovan http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=539 Three Part Series on Approach Anxiety by Paul Janka
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Most men get anxious at the prospect of approaching an attractive woman because they don’t know what to expect. That is due to a lack of experience. As you get more comfortable approaching people, you will start to appreciate how similar women are, and you’ll develop standard ways to overcome their objections or make them laugh by teasing them or engaging them in an unusual manner. And, more generally, you’ll develop an ease and comfort with other people – even strangers – that will translate nicely into a confidence that women find irresistible.

Perhaps you’ve heard some of the advice out there in the dating and seduction community – things like the 3-second rule and approaching with high energy. Those are valid techniques. But, of course, both can fail: what if you can’t get to her in three seconds for some reason? What if you’re in a subdued environment that makes a “high energy” approach weird?

In general, I think it makes sense to approach a woman immediately upon seeing her to avoid a mental “psyche-out” or so you can act before the situation changes, making her less accessible. Of course, I’ve often observed a woman for a time only to see her boyfriend emerge from a bathroom or come through the door. There’s no harm in ever approaching a single woman, however, because how were you supposed to know? Also, I think that if a shy guy needs to boost his confidence by invoking a “high energy” state, that can possibly work. However, it may just amplify his nervousness, making the situation even more awkward. Or, his efforts may seem so forced or desperate that the woman is turned off. Experiment with these and other techniques that the “seduction guys” promote.

As a man who’s slept with many dozen women and approached thousands, I’ll tell you there’s only one certain method of eliminating approach anxiety: volume. Human beings are learning organisms and we learn to adapt to situations if we’re given repeated attempts at a task. It’s no different here. If you can handle some rebuffs (perhaps many) you’ll eventually learn the subtleties of what works and what doesn’t. Eventually, interacting with a beautiful woman will become your duty and very natural. That’s not to say all will yield to your charm, but you’ll feel entitled to and compelled to approach attractive women.

A final tip: a mental “psyche up” can get you in front of her – “I know I can! I know I can!” – but that’s just the beginning. If your natural state isn’t “charming, flirty” then you’ll slide back to your default personality. And, the only way to develop the personality that attracts women is to really develop it, by putting in the miles, with many women. So get out there and start saying “hi” to women, incorporating the techniques you’re reading about. I’ll tell you this: twenty cold approaches to women will teach you more than most dating books ever could.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/25/approach-anxiety-ii-paul-janka/feed/ 3 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/23/approach-anxiety-i/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/23/approach-anxiety-i/#comments Fri, 23 May 2008 23:04:36 +0000 Donovan http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=538 Three Part Series on Approach Anxiety by Paul Janka
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Well… Let’s see. I guess we should start at the beginning, at that first step that hangs up a lot of guys: approach anxiety. It’s certainly a valid starting point and every guy can relate to seeing that hot girl walk by and feeling the tug, but doing nothing. Chances are if you don’t initiate contact she’ll slip forever out of your reach. So, it becomes the single most important part of the process because without it, you’re not even in the game with her.

I’ve lived in NYC for exactly 6 years, and in that time my game has developed remarkably. I’ve approached thousands of girls in every environment conceivable (subway, café, bookstore, grocery, bus, movie theater, etc.) and under all kinds of conditions (groups, solo, rain, shine, wind, snow, indoor/outdoor, etc.) I’ve made notes on what works and what doesn’t. In fact, I’ve written a guide, The Attraction Formula which details all aspects of meeting and sleeping with attractive women. New York City has been a tremendous training ground for me and has allowed me to hone my skills in America’s top singles’ city.

In fact, my techniques and approaches have been so successful that several national TV shows have hosted me, allowing me to teach others the skills needed to meet beautiful women. Using hidden cameras, Dr. Phil captured me on the streets of New York picking-up girls; later, Dr. Phil had me coach a novice to be more effective with women. I was also on The Today Show as New York’s resident Casanova and I was featured on FOX News as a one of the city’s most eligible bachelors. The publicity has extended beyond television; in an article in Psychology Today they probed my methods to learn more about what goes on Inside the Mind of a Casanova.

This is not theoretical mumbo-jumbo. What I’m telling you here works, because I’ve done it and I still use it on the street today. A lot goes into the charm and confidence that’s necessary to get a woman’s attention, but I’ll focus here on how to overcome anxiety and what to say in those first few seconds – the make it or break it phase. Confidence comes from experience and knowledge, two things you’ll accumulate as you work your game. I detail a lot of this in Attraction Formula and I’m not going to repeat it here. I will, however, give you a few pointers that can help you up the learning curve faster. Assuming you are ready to walk out and approach girls for their phone numbers, you should keep in mind a few things.

First of all, remembering a bunch of subliminal body language indicators and NLP techniques is burdensome. I always laugh at all those flow charts and acronyms the other “gurus” use when they teach. How do they expect a guy – who is already nervous on his approach – to keep all these confusing instructions in his head? On the other hand, it’s not very useful to say, “Be natural,” and hope the guy is good at rapping. There is a better way, and I’m about to explain it.

I’ve never heard of a real player using a “canned” line. I, myself, do fall back on rather dull “openers” when I’m lazy, but they result in pick-ups of which I’m not especially proud. Nor do they make for good stories. The best pick-ups come when I use original, situational opening lines. And here’s the trick: my mind is at ease to generate these humorous openers because I’m relaxed and confident – there’s no fear or anxiety cluttering my creative channels.

Read my review of Paul Janka’s new book Attraction Formula.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/23/approach-anxiety-i/feed/ 6 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/18/too-many-gurus-spoil-the-game/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/18/too-many-gurus-spoil-the-game/#comments Sun, 18 May 2008 18:38:31 +0000 Donovan http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=527

The new pickup artist forum has been getting a lot of interaction, if you haven’t yet signed up, sign up here.

Some forum guys and I got into a discussion about our stories and where we came from.

4nim4te touched on an important concept:

At this point I’ve been reading a lot as well, without practicing, but lately I’m approaching more and also getting approached by girls. Anyway, field practice is gonna be the way, I think I’m gonna get my mail inbox overflow without reading

I responded with the following:

And personally… running this blog about 2 years ago, my game REALLY hurt. You’d think with getting all the information from the community would be the best thing for game? Wrong.

I knew SO MUCH THEORY that I didn’t have time to practice everything I learned, so it just became a mindscrew. When approaching a girl I would become paralyzed because I had SO MANY TECHNIQUES in my head. Learn from my experience with it. Focus on two gurus per SKILLSET.

For example: READ THE REST ON THE FORUM

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/18/too-many-gurus-spoil-the-game/feed/ 6 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/15/crush-in-high-school/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/15/crush-in-high-school/#comments Thu, 15 May 2008 15:29:31 +0000 Donovan http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=524

I received this troubling email from a reader today:

I have a crush on this girl at my school. Once I told her that I have feelings for her, she immediately cut off all communication with me and to this day she refuses to speak with me at all(it’s been a week), and their is no way in hell I am letting her go.

My email back?

Thanks for your email. You probably should.

That sounds a little harsh, but here is my reasoning for such an short answer: When you get “oneitis” you become less attractive when the girl doesn’t reciprocate. This only damages yourself, feeding an addiction and fantasy that will most likely never come to pass, unless you DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Countless emails have piled in my inbox sent by guys in a similar situation that have SINCE moved on and look back in retrospect and are AMAZED at how irrational and weak they were. These guys also tell me how they’ve dated numerous attractive girls AFTER GETTING THEIR GAME TOGETHER and feel great. Some have even bumped into their “oneitis” girl since. Often times, this girl is BLOWN AWAY at the new man they became.

So my advice again is FORGET HER, IMPROVE YOUR SKILLS AND SELF, MOVE ON and REAP THE FUTURE REWARDS.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/15/crush-in-high-school/feed/ 4 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/08/the-attachment-david-wygant/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/08/the-attachment-david-wygant/#comments Fri, 09 May 2008 05:02:41 +0000 David Wygant http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=510 I’ve have an extra bonus for you guys today. A free MP3 on how to stay in the moment and should be helpful to those guys looking to get off routines. You can get the MP3 at the new Seduction Chronicles Forum by clicking here. Donovan’s asked me to comment on there, so I’ve registered and waiting for you guys to signup and start the discussions!

Onto my regular column:

Recently Khiem and I were on the hike that we take a couple of times a week and we were waiting for Daphne to do her business. For some reason or other, Daphne cannot go to the bathroom unless there is grass.

So we’re walking very slowly, and Daphne stops suddenly and starts looking. We’re just talking and when Daphne stops, Khiem stops too, and he’s just looking. And so then I stop, and I start looking.

And all of a sudden, walking down the hill away from us, we see this incredibly sexy woman.

Now we could do the typical guy thing and chase her, which you know is something I am NOT a proponent of, or we could just say, wrong time, wrong place – that’s a missed opportunity.

So I decided to go for the latter of the options, because I’m not going to chase. But as we watched her walk into the distance, we all wondered: what if?

What if our paths crossed? What was she like? What does she look like from the front? From the back, she certainly looked great. She had a black Labrador Retriever, just like Daphne. What a cute couple the five of us would make – Khiem, Daphne, her dog, and us.

How much more fun could that be? Afternoon hikes, sunset walks – my mind was wandering, the deep romantic that I am. As it wandered, I wondered: what if?

As you all know from the blog, I’m not about what ifs. So this fantasy part of the blog is all wrong!

So here’s what really happened after we saw her:

Coming back from our hike, we saw her again, and she had the dreaded attachment. She had the computer virus.

You know that file that you get in your inbox, and it comes from somebody saying you either won the lottery in Egypt or somebody in Africa needs to deposit $10 million into your bank account? And it always comes with an attachment that they want you to open to make sure that your contact information is correct.

You know that if you open that attachment, you’re going to let a nasty virus into your computer (that is, of course, unless you own a Mac – I do, and I don’t have to worry about viruses. I just worry about the wheel of death coming up once in awhile and not letting me do anything!)

But here she was, walking towards us again, and she had the dreaded virus: the attachment. She came with a file. When we first saw her, we failed to notice – as her ass was bouncing down the trail – the dude that must have been 50 yards in front of her!

So when we saw her the second time around, there they were: a couple. Our dream girl was already attached; she had already found her dream boy.

So what is the moral of this story today?

The moral is: who gives a shit? It doesn’t matter! What did we do in this situation, and what did we do to capitalize it?

We still talked to her, and we talked to him. We had a great conversation, and found out the name of her dog – which was Lucy, by the way – and just spent some time talking with two cool strangers.

You know what most guys and women do? When other people see the dreaded attachment, they immediately delete the email! They throw that attachment in the SPAM box so quickly that they don’t ever have to deal with it again.

But, here’s the issue: that email has friends, and the next time you see her hiking, she might be with a cute single friend. And because you deleted the attachment the first time, by acting like an asshole and not saying hello or engaging her in conversation, the woman won’t remember you.

The next time she comes with that hot attachment – you know the one that your friend sends you with a message not to open it at work? – if you’ve been a nice guy and given her a great conversation the first time you met her (when she was with her male attachment) then she’ll remember you the second time. She’ll remember you as the cool guy that engaged her with her boyfriend.

And guess what? You’ve now got a warm lead! Her hot, sexy friend – the attachment you shouldn’t open at work – is now yours to have!

So next time, look at things a little differently!

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/08/the-attachment-david-wygant/feed/ 3 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/02/alpha-man-confidence-carlos-xuma-video/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/02/alpha-man-confidence-carlos-xuma-video/#comments Fri, 02 May 2008 21:36:21 +0000 Donovan http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=486 I liked this video from Carlos Xuma. Carlos says:

I have a new video podcast on confidence and inner game that I want you to see.

I talk about an important realization about confidence that you need to know about if you want to really make your game with women bulletproof.

(And I’m even going to give you the key to happiness in your life as a little bonus…

Yes, it’s a big one, and I want you to hear this message. I’ll tell you how to push yourself away from your negative thinking…

I’ll even tell you how your natural feelings and emotions are holding you back from getting women into your life…

And what is stopping you from enjoying your life right this second.

After watching the video, check out Carlos Xuma Alpha Confidence programs. Really great material for inner game.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/05/02/alpha-man-confidence-carlos-xuma-video/feed/ 0 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/23/how-not-to-be-just-friends-materia/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/23/how-not-to-be-just-friends-materia/#comments Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:25:23 +0000 Kezia http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=452 You’re talking away; making her laugh, and also making some great connections with her too! More than once, she has grabbed your arm; she’s even pushed her body close to yours a number of times. The I.O.Is here are major. It’s a no brainer, she’s yours for the taking.

Or is she?

When it comes to number close, she may be more than happy to give you her number, but when you arrange a date; I wonder if she will turn up in a sexy plunge neck dress or a casual loose fitting t-shirt. I wonder if she even bothers to wear make up for you. So in this case, the date you thought you were going on is probably not, in her eyes, a date at all. Why?

Because you became the dreaded…. (Dramatic drum roll please)

“MALE FRIEND”

We will look at the following:

How did this happen?

What are those tell tale signs that show you she sees you only as friend potential.
How to prevent this from happening!

How on earth did you get in to this mess?

Simple. Lets break this down; on one hand you have a been a brilliant conversationalist, you have made some deep connections with her, and so she feels you really understand her, not just as a woman but as a human being as well. You’re also unbelievably funny, and have had her laughing hard countless times through out the interaction.

As a result of all these great accomplishments she feels she can relax, let down her guard and really be herself in front of you. Here is where a key problem lies. It obviously beneficial for you to make sure she’s relaxed, however it is not beneficial to her so relaxed that she feels she can show you all her flaws, whats happened here is she is now so totally in her comfort zone that she feels no need to make any effort to impress you.

Next, what is missing here is a vital ingredient. You have not initiated any sexual tension in to the conversation. This would be a lot easier to do if you had made sure you were in higher status than her. But unfortunately what has happened in this situation is that you have made levels of status equal (better than your status level being lower of course) but this can lead to friendship, as friendships are usually based on equality of the relationship.

Signs that she is seeing you as potential friend material

• She talks about her ex-boyfriend

• She talks too much about other men
• She is not caring how she is coming across general
• She tells you too many of her private problems such as;
  • Medical

  • Ex boyfriends
  • Problems at work
  • Problems with her friends
  • Periods

(Remember you’re not an agony aunt!)

She’s not asking you too many questions about your self

She’s shows barely any, or no, reaction to your touches

She keeps describing you as “so sweet” or “adorable” or says things such as “oh how cute” when you say something. Any puppy dog terminology is usually not a good thing.

She is not bothered if you show any interest in other woman.

She is happy to leave you with her friends as she goes off temporarily to attend to other matters.

If you give her any criticism she will laugh.

She’s happy to tell you her opinions on everything whether you like it or not.

How you can prevent all this.

If you regularly have this problem then my suggestion to you is to nip it in the bud!

From as early as the first second to the first 10 minutes introduce at least a hint of sexual element in to the interaction.

There is no problem in letting a girl know you think she’s hot, as long as you execute it with a serious and matter of fact expression. Don’t make a big deal about saying “wow, you look hot” and don’t wait for her reaction. Instead hold her gaze and then move on casually to the next subject as if you are totally in control and fully aware of your alpha like comment.

Remember, she has to start earning any more compliments.

This will also destroy completely the chance of you becoming her friend; she will subconsciously cross out that avenue. So now its whether she likes you in that way or not. (2 option rather than 3)

What you do if she begins to show any of the above signs

Lets take, for example, her bringing up the ex-boyfriend. Make it clear to her that although it’s an interesting subject and one you can see she feels deeply about, perhaps it’s best if she discussed it with her girlfriends and not you.

If she begins to show little or no care on how she is coming across, for instance getting to much in her comfort zone. Keep giving her small tasks and let her know that your standards are very high on how a lady should behave. For instance if vulgarities something you find unattractive (and is usually, by the way, a sign the woman is seeing you as a fellow party pal) then let her know how she’s let you down, by pointing out the fact they you thought she was different from the woman in here and that it was her elegance that made you talk to her in the first place.
Watch how she straightens her back and tucks her bra strap back in to position faster than you can imagine.

If she leaves you with her friends and wanders off, this is a bad sign, it means she couldn’t care less if they make a move on you or you make a move on them.

Counteract this by firstly introducing your friends to her friends, which will make her feel left out. And on her return, punish her by making a phone call as soon as she sits down, go off with your phone call and leave her friends talking with your friends as she sits there bored and feeling left out, she will begin to miss you and might value your company a little more.

Note:

Please remember women love to please men. We enjoy looking good for you guys; in fact it’s a bit of obsession.

Look in any woman’s magazines and see what percentage of the articles is dedicated to pleasing men, whether it is through; makeup, dieting, fashion or cooking. Once we feel there’s no need to please you, it’s as if the fun is over, for girls as well as guys the chase is can be better than the catch.

Remember; take control of the situation, if you become “friendship material” then you have yourself to blame, you can manipulate the conversation whenever you choose, you can inject sexual tension whenever you decide. The only reason you became friend material would have been because you allowed her to feel so relaxed that she had little or no work to do at all.

By all means make sure she is relaxed, but take advantage when someone is in a relaxed state of mind. Remember the power of suggestion will be come much more powerful when in that state. Do this rather than allow her to feel you are simply another shoulder to cry on, or part time doctor she can reveal gross medical problems to, or a psychiatrist where she can discuss her ex-boyfriends commitment problems he might have had.

You have plenty of friends, you don need another right? Unless of course you see her as friend material in that case go right ahead and discuss her periods and ex-boyfriends with her!

Have you read the manual that Kezia teaches from? Check out our detailed review of PUATraining’s Natural Game Home Study System.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/23/how-not-to-be-just-friends-materia/feed/ 32 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/21/vin-di-carlo-talks-about-his-new-book/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/21/vin-di-carlo-talks-about-his-new-book/#comments Tue, 22 Apr 2008 02:14:58 +0000 Donovan http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=444

UPDATE: I’ve posted the review of The Attraction Code up in the review section. Check it out!

Get on Vin’s signup list and get access to the book now.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/21/vin-di-carlo-talks-about-his-new-book/feed/ 0 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/21/getting-that-one-special-girl-part-ii/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/21/getting-that-one-special-girl-part-ii/#comments Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:35:27 +0000 Stephen Nash http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=440 Guys, this article is Part II in a little mini-series I call “Getting That One Special Girl”. Part I is here. Where I outline some answers to this troubling phenomenon of “one-itis” or becoming obsessed with that “One Special Girl”

If you currently find yourself in this situation, you have my heart-felt sympathies friend. This is no easy spot you find yourself in, and my plan is no guarantee for you to “get the girl”.

In fact, everything I am about to tell you may seem completely counter-intuitive.

But, if you can do these few things, I assure you that you will regain your balance and POWER and see this much differently.

First of all, let’s focus on this word “POWER” for a minute, OK?

If you are in a situation where the thoughts in your mind predominate around one area in your life (a girl, in this case) then that particular area has POWER over you.

Here’s a bit of social/relationship math for you, OK?

• Too much power given to a woman PUSHES/REPELS her away from you

• Balanced power in all areas of life ATTRACTS the right women to you
  
• Too little power given to women ATTRACTS the wrong women to you

Interesting, isn’t it.

Those three little statements I just made cost me 10 years of my life man.

I learned those the HARD way, but I am grateful to know this now and pass it along to you.

If you are a guy who is currently obsessed with a woman, here’s my hunch – she’s not really into you.

She might think you’re nice, fun, cool, smart & interesting. But, she doesn’t find you attractive enough to form a relationship with you.

Women who are attracted to men, return their calls, they make time to see them, and they even initiate contact regularly.

If by chance she IS into you and just playing hard to get, pushing her is going to repel her away from you.

For now, here’s what you’ve got to do:

1) STOP calling her (Now)
2) STOP stalking her (Now – cyber, in person, or otherwise)
3) ASAP – meet more women (approaches, parties, internet…all if possible)
4) In 10 days, INVITE “her” to do something with you and your friends
5) START using real social skills to attract her

The above structure is a way to turn “her” into a friend, and to do it FAST, OK?

It’s a bit sneaky, I admit. But, if you’re so obsessed with a girl that you can’t sleep and if she’s not giving you clear-cut signs that she wants to see you (like, returning your calls, calling you first, creating opportunities to see you, replying to your emails, spending time with you, kissing you, inviting you “upstairs” to meet her dog Maggie…etc) then you need to re-balance this relationship.

In fact, this is not really a relationship at all, is it?

Nope…it’s what I lovingly call a “situationship”.

So, your first goal is to IMMEDIATELY re-balance this situationship.

The way to do that is to reclaim your power by STOPPING bad behavior.

Withdraw the excess of energy you are giving this, and stop calling/stalking/emailing her NOW.

Don’t ever do this again, OK?

I know of a friend who changed all of his passwords and asked his mother to recreate them and keep them from him just so he couldn’t cyber-stalk an ex-girlfriend.

You may not have to take such drastic measures – but do whatever it takes, because obsessive behavior and thinking around a woman 99.99% of the time insures that you WILL NOT GET HER.

Here’s another point that I must make. Usually, we obsess over women who are subtly and indirectly communicating DISinterest to us.

Mixed signals are the cause of obsession and anxiety – lack of clarity is the issue here. If she was interested, you would know it.

She’s just not that into you…in other words. And if she is, by doing the 5 steps I outline above, you will reconnect with her in a healthy way.

If she isn’t…by all means, CUT YOUR LOSSES, OK?

Our minds spin out of control and into obsessive and unhealthy behavior usually when the woman is unavailable.

In my case above, Ariella was giving me indirect signals that she was not available for what I wanted.

Because I was so emotionally wrapped up in it though, I was not able to see it.

Sure, it’s easy to blame her for not being clear and direct, but MOST people handle things in this way.

In order to move past this, you have to OWN your end of it…which is that you didn’t read some pretty obvious signals that she’s not interested in you.

OK – so we’re clear – STOP doing things that are hurting you and STOP RIGHT NOW.

Next, we’ve got to talk a little bit about a word that I am sure will connect with you.

This word changed my life, and that is not an over-hyped marketing statement either, that’s the truth.

The word is:

Scarcity.

If you are obsessed and consumed with ONE woman…you are living in a female scarce world, and you need to change that ASAP.

It is NORMAL for healthy men to want women (if you’re heterosexual that is).

Your impulses towards intimacy, sex and relationship are healthy and right.

What you need is VARIETY – the “anti-scarcity”.

Without some variety, you won’t truly know and appreciate what is out there and may “settle” for a woman that is not truly right for you (if you are lucky).

Long-term, healthy relationships require experience. You’ve got to know the market, in other words, so that you make a healthy, informed choice.

See that?

Scarcity is the enemy of CHOICE.

If you’re panicked and obsessed over “ONE”, then you’ve lost your right to choose and that has to be fixed if you want a successful relationship.

This leads me to point #3 – MEET MORE WOMEN.

Reminds me of one of my favorite movies. Ever see “Fandango”?

It’s from the ‘80s and stars Kevin Costner and Judd Nelson – it’s a great guy flick, and tells the story of a wild road trip taken by some friends right out of college.

Kevin Costner plays a swashbuckling sort of guy, who is a real ladies man.

Well, he’s lamenting a past love with a buddy, and throws down this GEM of a phrase for us:

“The only way to get over a girl, is to go out and get yourself another one”

Makes sense, right? In our case, it makes a LOT of sense.

Guys who suffer from the scarcity mentality have to get their social lives up to speed and get more dates, and more options of women.

This may be the most important point I make in this report – if you want to cultivate true power with women and dating, you’re going to need to meet MORE of them.

I’ll get into this more a bit later, but just know that having more options/choices in your dating life is crucial. And that the next time you’re in this pickle, you’re going to want to meet some new women ASAP.

I’ll cover the three ways to meet more women a bit later in this report though as it’s a very involved topic, and I don’t want to scatter our focus here, OK?

Now, you’re going to need to give this some TIME.

TIME and PATIENCE are now your friends with “her”.

I usually give it around 10 days, and I suggest only now communicating with her in mass emails – nothing direct or personal at this point. Otherwise, she seems too special.

Ever hear of this acronym – LJBF?

Lets Just Be Friends

This is what you’re doing with step #4. You are communicating to her that you’ve moved her into the “friend” column.

In about 10 days you’ll want to organize something with your social circle. A great idea is to discover a cool brunch place, and set something up for Sunday at 1pm.

Brunch is so great because people are more likely to have plans in the evening than they are on a Sunday afternoon. So, this way you will get more “yes” replies.

On a Wednesday send a note to your “list” (with “her” in the cc category like the rest of your friends) inviting everyone to the brunch you’re organizing.

Now, there is no guaranteeing that she will come along. But, if you continue to “lead” your social circle by organizing cool, interesting outings she will eventually come along.

Plus, now that she’s your friend, you’re allowed to treat her like you would any other friend. This is why it’s fine to “cc” her on a mass email.

The ONLY time you have personal involvement with her right now is if she contacts/replies to you. And, even these communiques need to be quick and without fanfare, much like you would send to a friend.

This is how you reclaim your power here, and eliminate the “one-itis” you’re currently experiencing.

Also, this plan rearranges your “situationship” with her so that she is still in your circle but so that YOU are now in charge (aka: having reclaimed your power).

This will also give the two of you a much less pressured way to get to know each other and see if you are really right for each other.

This is precisely why people tend to fall in love with others via their social circle. So, if you are in a “one-itis” situation, add her into your social circle so that the two of you can have a more balanced way to get to know each other.

Now, this doesn’t guarantee that you’ll “get the girl”. This plan essentially presses the “reset” button with you and her which is you only shot at this point. For, if you are in an obsessed state, you are way past the point of “maybe”.

The final piece to this is to attract her using GOOD social skills.

• You need to be the true LEADER of your social circle

• You need to flirt/tease with her in a way that doesn’t embarrass her, but that does enhance sexual tension
• You need to bait her into chasing you
  
• You need to capture and lead her imagination by using storytelling
  
• You need to emphasize the strong connections that exist between you
  
• You need to present yourself with a “look” that is both contemporary and cool
  
• You need to understand what is naturally attractive to women, and what is not – then you need to start DOING and BEING attractive and stop DOING and BEING unattractive
  
• Ultimately, you need to meet more women as my hunch is that “she” is not the one for you…

Meeting more women, learning how to attract them, and living a life that naturally brings THE RIGHT women for relationships is THE teaching I convey in “How To Get A Girlfriend” and I think you owe it to yourself to check it out.

You can have it for free for 7 days even…

Click the link below to download your copy:

http://www.how-to-get-a-girlfriend.com/ebook.html

If you’ve read this article, then don’t you think you owe it to yourself to focus a bit on this challenge called “WOMEN” and get it handled?

My opinion only: if you keep relying on just YOU and YOU alone to handle it, I bet your results don’t change. You can’t get out of the woods with the map that got you there in the first place.

The solution: some NEW information, which is precisely the purpose of my ebook.

So, I sure hope you got something out of these two posts here.

My goal with CEIC is to reduce your pain and help you improve and expand the pleasures of women in your life.

EVERY guy deserves healthy and pleasurable relationships with women, and eventually an awesome girlfriend.

If you’re hung-up on one woman, and she isn’t your girlfriend or wife, then it’s time to assess the health of your dating and social life…

Is that time now?

I hope I’ve helped you with that today.

Over ‘n out,

Stephen Nash

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/21/getting-that-one-special-girl-part-ii/feed/ 0 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/14/getting-that-one-special-girl-1/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/14/getting-that-one-special-girl-1/#comments Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:45:54 +0000 Stephen Nash http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=426 Guys, this article is Part I in a little mini-series I call “Getting That One Special Girl”.

This is where I discuss the dreaded illness of “one-itis” and what the heck to do about it once you’ve got it.

I want to tell you a brief story now – indulge me for a moment before I outline my steps for handling this scenario.

First, a question…

Ever been hung up on ONE girl, to the point where you possibly lost sleep, focus, perhaps made ridiculous phone calls to her, stalked her (or cyber-stalked her…a new, scary phenomenon), begged her, shed tears for her…and otherwise lost a huge amount of time effort and energy to the cause of getting her?

(long sentence, I know…bare with me here)

Well, I have been in this position before. This was years ago, way before I ever realized I needed help with women, dating and relationships. Aeons before I learned how to get a girlfriend, and fell in love (which is my situation today…so, I’ve come full circle – in case you were wondering).

I was walking home one night, and met a woman near my apartment – she was walking her dog. She asked me for directions which then flowed into a longer, “getting to know you” type of conversation.

So, we began chatting and we eventually swapped numbers. A week later we went out on a date, strolled back to her place, got a bit intimate and said good night.

We washed/rinsed/repeated that a few times, and all was good and fun. Walking home after our 3rd date, I thought to myself: “Wow, I really like this girl & I can’t wait to see her again”

Big point to make here is this: All my eggs were in one basket…HER basket. I had no other options, and hadn’t had a cute girl in my life in quite a while. I think it had been nearly a year possibly since I had even kissed a girl.

I had to leave town on a business trip for 3 weeks, and when I returned, I called her right away as I was really excited to see her.

She was glad to hear from me, and we did set-up a date for the end of the week…but, something didn’t feel right to me. My gut clenched over the thought – “something has changed”.

We were set up for a date, and I was all ready to go when the phone rang. It was her cancelling. A sinking feeling set-in.

“Yep, something’s up.”

She had said she’d call back to arrange another time, but as the days started to pass with no call from her, I grew concerned.

S-T-R-E-S-S had begun to set-in at this point and my sleep was suffering.

I decide to call her.

Seems like a good decision, right?

Here are the stories I was telling myself:

“Aah, maybe she’s busy at work and hasn’t had a chance to call me” (NEVER happens…when someone wants to call someone, they make time for it)

“Maybe something horrible happened” (Maybe it did, but even then, if she was really interested, she would call)

“My answering machine is broken” (But, I was getting messages from other people)

“Maybe, just maybe, I was supposed to call HER” (She had been clear, and this was a blatant rationalization, as I was looking for anything that would help me FEEL BETTER NOW!)

So, I called her.

(Cringing yet? Don’t worry…this gets worse.)

She nervously played it off as “being so busy”, “things got away from me”, “oh, this case is so overwhelming (she worked for the DA)”…squarely in my chest, my heart was sinking even further now. But, I persisted:

“Let’s get together this weekend”, said I
“Uh, OK…um, well, can we talk later in the week so I’ll know if I’m free?”, she blustered
“Sure, I’ll call you on Wednesday” (it was Sunday), I replied
“OK Stephen…I’ll talk to you then”, she said and then quickly got off the phone

As soon as I hung up, a feeling of relief swept over me – I had done it! We had a date coming-up and all was well!

It was good to hear her voice, I recall thinking. Again, I had so few women in my life, that just hearing her voice made me smile.

And then, 10 minutes later, it changed. Suddenly, a feeling of suspicion began to grow inside of me. Part of me knew that something wasn’t quite right here. My feeling of trust had been broken by her, as she had flaked once by now. Was she doing that again?

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday….each night worse than the previous. I would awaken with a gasp, and then stress would set-in. The stress of desperately needing to control a situation that is immensely uncontrollable.

Work each day would be difficult – I had no ability to focus – NONE. I would take breaks, I would try to eat, I would drink lots of coffee.

An annoying habit began to kick-in…I began to “confide in my friends about the situation” – because, I needed advice.

Within a day, everyone was hearing about it – and everyone gave me a different opinion.

“Dude, you have to tell her how you FEEL” (guy)
“Just lay back, she’ll call you – I know it” (guy)
“Haha, man Stephen, don’t ask me – I’m just as clueless as you are” (guy)
“Call her, and just leave her a groovy message man, and DON’T ask her out…” (guy)
“How wonderful! You’re in love with someone! I just know it will work out – what is her name?” (girl)

Each person’s tip would inspire me, give me hope and confidence for just as long as they would talk. I could be carried away by their emotion and optimism, but as soon as they were gone, I would sink back into even greater confusion and anxiety than before.

So, as you can probably imagine, Wednesday came and I was relieved. At around 8pm that night, I worked up the nerve to call her. I was REALLY nervous. I had decided that I would just go with the plan of firming up plans for the weekend. To do anything else would be out of the ordinary here, and perhaps I was “overreacting”.

I call – no answer – into voice-mail – I hang up

Shit.

I should have left a voice mail! Damn, now if I call again, will she know that I double-rang her??

More stress sets in.

I call again – again, no answer – into voice-mail – nervous, shaky, stammering message – I hang up

Double Shit.

I try to distract myself by watching some TV, but I can only think about the LAME message I just left on her voice mail.

An hour or so passes, the phone rings.

My heart jumps – “maybe it’s her!”

Nope – a call for my roommate. Some guy named Darryl, who calls everyday to talk about some “website project”.

Get a life Darryl.

I go back to the TV and begin obsessing again. I pull apart my message in my mind, trying desperately to figure out how she will receive it once she does hear it.

It’s now time for bed, and I try to sleep. I can’t do it. When my alarm rings in the morning, I’ve had maybe a few hours of rest.

My eyes and body start to show a bit of fatigue at work.

“Stephen, are you OK? You seem a bit tired” (they say)
“Yeah, maybe a bit”

Being that this was before I had a cellphone, I am now checking my home voicemail VERY often. I recall that before my trip away, I had checked my voicemail from work and had received messages from her.

“Maybe that’s how it works?” I think
“Maybe, God will only send me a voicemail from her when I’m not obsessing about it”

Every hour (or more) I phone home to check voicemail…no messages. NONE whatsoever. I crave the sound of “Debbie, the voicemail lady” to say the following:

“You have ONE new voice message – to hear your message press ONE”

All I want is ONE Debbie. I could hear Debbie’s voice in my head before I’d call. Debbie was either an Angel with a message, or the Grim Reaper with none.

The weekend passed, less sleep, more stress, less eating, more obsessing….

Monday, Tuesday…and now, Wednesday again.

Strangely, I started to feel better early in the week – as if, something was lightening up in me…but, once I decided to call again on Wednesday – it returned.

All I needed was to stare at the phone with a small ounce of desire, and the itch was back on me like the hives.

I called her again….and again, into voice mail. I left a quick message:

“Hey, it’s Stephen. Hadn’t heard from you so wanted to check-in and say Hi. I hope nothing is wrong, and that alls well. Give me a ring so we can hang out soon. Bye”

“check-in”
“alls well”

Catch phrases for…CALL ME DAMMIT I AM DYING OVER HERE.

I felt a bit relieved by now. I had done what I could do, and now I could let this go.

I decided to go for a walk at this point to “clear my head” – something very satisfying about taking an action, and knowing that you’ve done what you can.

I return and notice the message light blinking. My heart leaps into my throat as I press the red “PLAY” button.

“Hey Stephen, it’s Ariella. Sorry I haven’t been in touch. Give me a call when you get this, so we can talk. Bye”

NICE! It’s ON!!

Or, so I think…

I call her now. And she answers. After the usual pleasantries…she drops the bomb:

“So, you should know that me and my ex have started hanging out again…it’s not too serious yet, but that’s probably why I haven’t been so responsive to your calls.”

My face fills with blush. I’m flustered. My mouth and throat tighten. I grow dizzy.

Me: “Oh, OK, yeah, I was wondering why I hadn’t heard from you”
Her: “Yeah, sorry about that, I should have told you…but, you know”
Me: “Oh sure…yeah…well, OK”
Her: “So, I should go – but I’ll talk to you soon, OK?”
Me: “Great, OK – Bye”
Her: “Bye”

I sit down.

What just happened? My heart was aching….my brain was cycling like never before. Where my brain heard opportunity and an opening, my heart felt closure and an “overness” like never before. They began to fight it out – the war for Stephen Supremacy was on.

My brain won.

“I’ll talk to you soon” it repeated to me

She never said they were “back together” it said.

She never said “don’t call me” it said.

And again, she said “I’ll talk to you soon” – dude, it’s ON!

I went to sleep, barely with my mind racing a mile/minute convincing me that it was ON…and then, it was OVER…ON…OVER…ON….OVER

UGH.

So, I began stalking her.

Now, when I say “stalking” I don’t mean that I’d crouch in the bushes by her house – no. But, I would stroll past her apartment building 2-3 times per day when it was totally inconvenient for me to do so. I would go WAY out of my way to hopefully “run into her” spontaneously by frequenting her neighborhood. I would call her sporadically hoping that she would answer…only to have her voicemail pick-up and never leave a message.

One night, the worst of the worst happened.

During one of my innocent “strolls”, I saw her and him going into the apartment. They didn’t see me, but I saw them. Care to guess what he looked like?

A total stud…

He had me by three inches in height, looked way cooler than me, probably worked out 4 times a DAY, and she was staring at him adoringly…

I walked away. I walked home. And then, it happened…

I began to cry.

I am dead serious.

You see, when you have a fantasy relationship with someone, and then you see them in REALITY with someone ELSE…it’s a heart-breaker. It’s devastating. It’s a crushing blow.

Now, not only did I get to stress out about her, but now I had images of her with HIM to boot.

This was not getting better.

Give my mind a free moment, and it would conjure images of her with him in bed, at swanky restaurants, shopping in SoHo, holding his hand…you name it friend. I was my own worst enemy.

I stopped sleeping. My work suffered. People began to be “concerned” for me.

One day at work, I decided to go for broke.

You see, when we’re obsessed with that “one special girl”, we usually have one of three options:

1) The Stalking Method (tried it, and failed at it)
2) The Call and Leave/Dont Leave Voice Messages Method (tried it, and failed at it)
3) The BEG AND PLEAD Method (my final option…and, oh yeah, I was about to USE it)

Late one night, I called 411 and found the general number for her office. I phoned it, and was able to deduce her direct dial work number.

I decided that tomorrow – I was going for broke, and I was going to end this once and for all – she was either going to see me, or it’s OVER.

(of course, she had been giving me signals left and right that it was over for some time now…signals that I was not receiving – so, for her it was over already)

I called her after lunch. Surprisingly, I ate a lot. Something in me had relaxed knowing that I was about to take ownership over this situation once and for all.

At 3pm, I headed downstairs to the basement to use a private land line. I was going for broke.

I called, she answered, and for the next 20 minutes I pulled out every trick, stop, gimmick, and sappy plead that I could muster. I even told her I loved her. I was the romantic, I was the “alpha male”, I was a poet, I was funny, I was everything I had ever wanted to be…and then, alas, it was finally over.

She told me she was back with “him” and that she really “liked” me, but that she had to focus on her relationship now.

“You’re a great guy Stephen, but I’m looking to get married and I think he’s the one for me. Can we be friends though?”

“Sure”…

We said our good-bye’s, and just like that – the “situation” was over.

10 weeks of hell, sweat, tears, stress and sleepless nights were over…that night, I feel right to sleep and woke up a new man the next day.

I gotta tell you, just rehashing that story fills me with both pain and pride.

Pain because I can still feel some of those memories in my body…

Pride because I’ve come a LONG way since then – and that phenomenon doesn’t happen to me anymore.

I want to tell you now how to both HANDLE this situation and how to work your social life so that this won’t HAPPEN to you again.

Tune in next week for the rest of this article…(sorry, running out of space!).

Stephen Nash has put his tactics on building an attractive lifestyle and persona into How To Get A Girlfriend, now in it’s 3rd edition. It contains expanded information on approaching, natural conversation skills, building social circles, and a lifestyle that attracts women to you.

Click here to download it and be studying within minutes.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/14/getting-that-one-special-girl-1/feed/ 4 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/10/what-it-means-to-be-a-man-david-wygant-column/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/10/what-it-means-to-be-a-man-david-wygant-column/#comments Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:11:41 +0000 David Wygant http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=423 It’s an interesting day when you hang out with good people – friends that stimulate your mind. Think about your life, and the good friends you have – what do you talk about? Can you spend 10 hours with the same group of people and not get bored? Or do you hang out with friends that after eating dinner with them for an hour and a half, you’re pulling your teeth out? You are done with conversation.

Do you have friends that you can just sit there with? Even during the silent moments – maybe all of you are cracking out on your Blackberries and hanging out – you know that the conversation is going to get good again, it’s just a matter of time.

Do you have guys that you can just spend time with – day-in and day-out – and really learn from? You can teach each other things; you can learn together and grow as men?

That’s what being a man is all about – being a man is all about being able to express your feelings to other men. Being a man is being able to share yourself with other men. Being a man is being able to listen to other men.

Being a man is being able to spend 13 or 14 hours in the company of other men, and being able to say whatever you want –about your feelings, emotions, desires – sharing what is going on in your personal life. Being able to share what is going on in your business life – being able to share yourself!

Being a man is being open with other men. A lot of men don’t know how to be open. Many men are afraid of intimacy with other men. I’ve never been afraid of intimacy with other men. I love my friends – I’ve got great friends.

When I go back to New York, I hang out with my friend Bryan (who co-wrote my book Always Talk to Strangers) and Bryan and I are inseparable for four days straight. We spend basically 17 hours a day hanging out and talking about everything. Adrian is another guy I can spend 16 hours with just being goofy, talking and just swapping theories about life with.

Today, I think I’m on hour number 15 hanging out with Khiem and Yakub, and we’re still chilling out, hanging out, just talking. That’s what being a man really is: getting deep with your friends. Building that trust with another man, knowing that you can share yourself with them with no judgment. Knowing that they are there for you and you are there for them and you want to help each other grow and become better men.

That is what is really lacking in this world – a lot of men judge themselves on if they can pick up a woman or not. They don’t feel like they are really a man unless they can get a phone number and pick up a woman.

I think that is what is missing in the community – the dating and pickup communities. If you really want to be a man that dates amazing women, then you have to become that amazing man. You have to have amazing friendships with men. You have to have amazing friendships with women. You have to give yourself unconditionally to people all day long.

You have to listen. Being a real man is listening. Being a real man is also admitting when you are wrong. Being a real man is being able to love yourself and your friends and to love the people that come into your life.

You have to be in love with your life in order to find amazing women. If you’re not in love with your life, then you are trying to complete your life through other people, and you can’t do that. You can’t complete your life through other people. The only way you can complete your life is by completing yourself.

There’s a lot of talk right now in the world about ‘man transformations.’ There are even companies who are doing ‘man transformation’ seminars – I’m speaking at one in a few weeks. To be a man is to really transform yourself into the man you want to be.

Who do you want to be?

Who is your role model?

What men do you respect?

What type of friends do you want in your life?

Because the friends I have in my life are friends for life. Being a man is just enjoying – enjoying being a man.

Download David Wygant’s dating e-book Date To Win, or read my review of it. Date To Win has the essential information you need to get more out of your dating life.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/10/what-it-means-to-be-a-man-david-wygant-column/feed/ 0 http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/04/10-ways-to-get-started-with-game-sinn-column/ http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/04/04/10-ways-to-get-started-with-game-sinn-column/#comments Sat, 05 Apr 2008 00:13:15 +0000 Sinn http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/?p=403 Hey guys for my first article on the Seduction chronicles, I wanted to write to the brand new guys who may need a guiding hand in getting in the game. So without further ado here’s 10 things to do to get started in “The Game”.

1. Get a new haircut. This doesn’t have to be expensive, but the psychological ramifications of shedding your old look can’t be overstated. The first thing you should do is find a gay hairstylist. For the most part female hairstylists will cute your hair to make you look safe, whereas a gay guy will cut it to make you look sexy. Don’t try to control what he does, just let him go to town. You’ll now also have a new way of looking at yourself when you see your new haircut in the mirror.

2. Learn to make eye contact. Head out to the mall on a Saturday morning and practice walking around, making eye contact and saying “hi” to strangers. It doesn’t matter if they’re guys, girls whatever. We’re working on learning to hold eye contact. The more comfortable you become with making eye contact, the better you’ll do.

3. Don’t read so much. It can be VERY tempting to try to learn everything you can about game as soon as you find out about the community. Don’t. All you need in the beginning is an opener. Make sure that you spend at least 4 times as much time out in the field as you do reading. That means for every hour of reading, you’re in field for 4 hours.

4. Record your success and failures. You can do this with an audio recorder if that’s legal in your state Or you can simply write down what happened whne you come home. You should focus on a few things. First, how many women did you approach? You want to make sure that you write down a simple description of what you material you used, what her reaction was and how the interaction ended. This is a vital part of getting good, as you’ll start to notice patterns when you see the same thing written down over and over again.

5. Work on your body language. There is NO such thing as “ Super Alpha” body language. Instead you want to focus on looking comfortable and taking up enough space. Bad body language generally breaks down into on of two categories. Not taking up enough space, or taking up too much space. If you look relaxed and comfortable with no nervous twitches, you have good body language.

6. Set a schedule for going out. Make sure that you figure out what venues have the types of girls you like in them, and then plan some time to go there EVERY week. Look at going out to meet girls the same way you would look at going to the gym. You have a workout schedule where you’re going to go to the gym( Wherever you want to meet women) and do specific exercises to work on parts of your game.

7. Start asking for phone numbers every time you talk to a new woman. This is a great way to work on your phone game. Phone game is a separate skillset in and of itself, and as such needs to be practiced by itself. To do that you need to get a lot of phone numbers. Plus you’ll get practice at pushing your interactions farther, which is a good skill to develop for later.

8. Don’t beat yourself up. This is key. You have to recognize that there is no hurry to get good at this stuff and that you have the rest of your life to learn it. Be honest with yourself about where you need work, but make sure that you compare yourself to where you are coming from not where you eventually want to be. Or even worse where others are.

9. Get comfortable touching strangers. This is a huge piece of the game as well. I have found that the more educated a student is, the more trouble they have with touching. Touching is on of the things that you can practice all the time. Get used to becoming a “Touchy” guy. Touch the barista at Starbucks on the shoulder, touch your friends on the arm to emphasize points, etc… Make sure that you get used to touching everyone you speak to in a comfortable way.

10. Have fun!!!!! This is the MOST important thing when it comes to meeting women. If talking to you is not more fun than anything else she could be doing at the time, why does she want to talk to you? Fun trumps everything else. You can be de-selected by women, a loser of men and a destroyer of loved ones, but if women have fun with you, you’ll be successful.

Til next time,

Sinn

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my $6.95 Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.

Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

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