» Inner Game

Perfection Does Not Exist

David Wygant — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 20:46:17 +0000

Let’s talk about Mr. Perfect today. I want everyone to know about Mr. Perfect.

Everyone who is out there trying to improve their dating life by meeting people in situations in which they normally don’t meet people is playing the role of Mr. Perfect. So let’s put Mr. Perfect in a situation so you can see what I mean.

Let’s put Mr. Perfect in a supermarket. What does Mr. Perfect do?

Well, Mr. Perfect knows that he needs to go out there and converse with people all day long to become more sociable and to open up his energy. So Mr. Perfect will see a woman looking at crackers, he will see an opportunity, he will walk over to her, and then the same thing will always happen.

He’ll walk over and make a comment like, “Man, I don’t really know what crackers are good here” or “Can you make a suggestion on what kind of crackers I should buy?” What happens to Mr. Perfect every time when he does this? She walks away.

Do you know why? It is because that is what happens to people who try to be perfect and don’t make the situation natural. When you act like Mr. Perfect, what you say never comes out sounding natural.

Why? Didn’t Mr. Perfect walk over and say something based on what she was doing in that moment like I always say to do?

Well, yes, but when he walked over to her he probably walked over all nervous. He didn’t walk over to her curious and confident, with a real question to ask her.

He walked over there thinking about the question he was going to ask her the whole time he was approaching her. He was thinking, “I’m going to ask her about crackers. I’m going to ask her to give me a cracker recommendation.”

Then when he actually asks her about the crackers, it doesn’t come out natural at all. So of course she is going to walk away. Of course she will start heading in another direction, because that is what happens to Mr. Perfect.

So what does Mr. Perfect do when that happens? Even though Mr. Perfect knows that this was just one encounter with one person, he will immediately think to himself “I can’t do this. This is too hard. This is not going to work. She didn’t respond to me.”

Then, all of a sudden, he’ll start manifesting those negative thoughts in every interaction he has after that. He will sabotage his ability to make each one of those interactions successful.

The truth is that none of those negative thoughts are true at all. Mr. Perfect is fully capable of successfully approaching women.

The reason that the “cracker situation” happens to Mr. Perfect is because he sabotaged the interaction before he said a word to her by trying to be perfect. There is no such thing as perfect. Nobody wants perfect.

What do we really want in a relationship with someone? We want someone who understands us, someone who is going to resonate with us, someone from whom we can learn and someone we can really experience.

We’re not perfect people. So when you walk over to anyone, there is no such thing as perfection.

If someone doesn’t respond to you, it could be because you ran into a mirror image of yourself — someone who is absolutely and completely nervous to talk to people and doesn’t know what to say. In other words, someone else who thinks they have to be perfect.

So what happens when a Mr. Perfect meets a Ms. Perfect, is that one of them will walk away from the encounter because they are so nervous and don’t know what to say. They get way too much inside their head. It’s a cycle that will keep repeating until they stop being a Mr. Perfect.

You don’t ever have to be perfect. There is no perfection in life. None.

Despite this, there seems to be so many people who feel the need to be perfect when they are trying to improve their dating lives. There is no need for this. If all the Mr. Perfects out there would change their mindset, they would experience a lot closer to “perfect” results.

Read more from David Wygant at his official website by clicking here.

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Are You Afraid Of Women?

Editor — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 18:49:02 +0000

What prevents men from being successful with women? Well, the list goes on and on… but one of the elements that TOPS the list is FEAR. There are many different situations that make men feel fear, but I’d like to talk about some of the most common ones… and what to do about them.

First of all, I’d like you to be honest for a moment about this topic.

Do you ever feel FEAR when it comes to women and dating?

Have you ever seen a woman that you’d really like to meet, but you started to feel fear and didn’t do anything about it?

Or maybe you were on a date and you wanted to kiss a woman… but you felt too afraid because you didn’t want to make a mistake and screw up your chances?

Or maybe you even got a woman’s phone number, but you were too afraid to call back because you didn’t know how to start off the conversation or ask her out?

Cummon, seriously…

Have you ever been sitting there with the phone in your hand, dialing a woman’s number, but you had to hang up because you were just too nervous to even talk to her…?

Or out on a date with a woman, and you wanted to kiss her, but you got so nervous at the thought that you just decided it would be better to forget the whole idea and hope for the best…?

Me too. Many times, in fact.

By the way, it’s not exactly FUN to admit that you’re afraid of things.

I’m sure you know that most guys would rather admit in public that they were unsure about their sexual orientation than that they were afraid of women.

Of course, this unwillingness to admit that you have a problem IN THE FIRST PLACE only makes matters worse…

If you don’t admit that you have the problem, then it’s hard to get help and answers to it.

Well, the good news is that you’re not alone.

Almost every guy I’ve known (including myself) has dealt with this issue MANY TIMES with women.

So, STEP 1 is to GET OVER IT. Get over your need to deny that you’re afraid. Just admit that you’re afraid, and come to grips with the fact that you’re human…

STEP 2 is to admit that you’d like to get this particular area of your life handled.

STEP 3 is to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Once you realize that it’s not that big of a deal, then the improvement can start. On the other hand, if you just stay in denial about it, you’ll probably just look for new tricks and techniques to use on women… which, of course, won’t lead to any REAL improvement.

I personally think that one of the biggest causes of fear when it comes to situations with women is:

PUTTING TOO MUCH IMPORTANCE ON WHAT THE WOMAN THINKS OF YOU AND WHAT HAPPENS IN THAT PARTICULAR SITUATION.

To put it in different words, most guys don’t take action because they’re afraid that they’ll screw up, or that the woman or others around will judge them.

The REAL problem though is that this whole process has become AUTOMATIC, and it happens INSTANTLY the moment most guys see a woman that they’d like to meet. Before they even have a chance to think about the situation rationally, they’ve become nervous, insecure, and upset.

I’m sure you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about.

As humans, we have these incredible minds and bodies, but sometimes they get wired up in ways that aren’t exactly useful for the situations that we find ourselves in. Worse, sometimes our cultures, families, or peer groups teach us ways of thinking that just aren’t useful at all for what we’d like to accomplish.

Here’s something that I realized a few years ago when I was learning for myself how to be successful with women…

I thought about this idea that I was having this instant, automatic fear in different situations with women, and that what I was really thinking was “I don’t want to screw this up” and “I don’t want her to think that I’m a dork”…

And all of a sudden something dawned on me:

IT DOESN’T MATTER.

It doesn’t matter what happens, and it doesn’t matter what she thinks of me.

I realized that the fears I was experiencing were more from PROGRAMMING than from reality.

So, I started to remind myself as often as possible that the fear wasn’t happening because there was any kind of danger… and that my objective in a particular situation wasn’t to have it turn out perfect, IT WAS TO LEARN.

Think about the difference between doing something because it’s important vs. doing something in order to LEARN.

So, for instance, if I saw a woman that I wanted to meet… instead of thinking, “OK, I have to say something charming and original so she’ll like me… and if I screw up I’m going to be embarrassed” – I began to think things like, “I’m going to learn how to get a woman’s phone number within a few minutes of meeting her… and part of learning this is going to be trying a lot of different things that probably aren’t going to work… but in the end, it’s all going to even out because I’m going to have the SKILL that I want.”

See the difference?

Well, let me tell you, that change in attitude made a HUGE impact on my success. I was willing to do and try things that I never would have tried in the past for fear of screwing up…

All because I had the attitude of “I’m going to learn something from this and improve my skills… and it doesn’t matter what happens in THIS PARTICULAR situation”, I was able to improve very rapidly.

And the more I began to apply this idea, the more success I had in ALL areas with women… from the first meeting, to getting them to go out with me, to taking things to a physical level.

So do this:

Go out RIGHT NOW and start a conversation with a woman.

I don’t care if she’s attractive or not.

But instead of having the objective of getting a date, have the objective of LEARNING SOMETHING.

In fact, if you REALLY want to improve fast, go spend a day starting conversations with women, but make the commitment to NOT get any phone numbers or dates all day.

In other words, no matter WHAT happens, you can’t date any of the women that you meet that day.

See if you can just learn how to do a few simple things like say, “Hi” to every woman that walks by… how to maintain eye contact with women until THEY look away… and how to end a conversation “too soon” so she feels a natural vacuum and tries to keep it going herself…

That’s one good idea for dealing with your fears.

If you’d like to read more of my personal secrets for overcoming fear, including specific mental exercises and physical drills, then I’d recommend that you download a copy of my online eBook “Double Your Dating”. It’s full of all my very best thinking on this and many other subjects about success with women.

Just go to here and watch my video presentation.

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,
David DeAngelo

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
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Stop Trying To Impress Women

Editor — Thu, 06 May 2010 21:27:53 +0000

I’ve learned a secret to impressing women that I’m going to share with you in this article. It’s a secret that probably not 1 in 1,000 men knows or will ever figure out on his own. The REASON that most men will never figure out this particular secret is that it’s TOO OBVIOUS.

Let me explain…

I personally think that most men feel a very powerful desire to IMPRESS women.

If you watch the way a man behaves when he’s talking to a woman he’s just met or a woman that he’s on a first date with, you can SEE IT. Maybe you’ve been there yourself.

I know I have. Many, many times, in fact.

The feeling that you need to impress a woman usually comes along with another feeling: DON’T SCREW THIS UP.

Here are some of the signs that a guy is feeling the need to “impress” the woman that he’s talking to – I’m guessing you’ll recognize some of these:

1) He tries to only say “cool” things, or things that will “impress” the woman.

2) He acts nervous and stilted during the conversation… sometimes coming across as “formal”.

3) He tries to figure out what the woman wants to hear.

4) If he says something that the woman doesn’t like, he “back-pedals” and tries to change what he said to suit the woman.

5) He doesn’t say anything “risky”, doesn’t tease the woman, and doesn’t do anything to upset her.

…in other words, when a guy is talking to a woman that he “likes”, he’s usually on his “best behavior”, and he’s trying to “put his best foot forward”.

Sound familiar?

To say it again, MEN FEEL A POWERFUL DRIVE TO IMPRESS THE WOMAN THAT THEY “LIKE”.

And this drive to impress often makes them act UNNATURAL.

There’s your first hint, in fact…

THE SECRET

Remember at the beginning when I told you that I was going to share a secret with you about how to impress women that not 1 in 1,000 men will figure out on their own?

Well, here it is:

STOP TRYING.

Sound too easy?

It is – if you will just STOP TRYING to impress women, and do the things I’m teaching you instead, women will NATURALLY be “impressed” by you.

I want to show you, step by step, proven techniques for making a positive, lasting impression on a woman no matter what the situation – the kind of impression that leaves her panting for more.

First things first:

TRYING TO IMPRESS A WOMAN DOESN’T IMPRESS HER.

Working only on your outer game will never get you the results you want – it’s like trying to treat the symptoms instead of the disease.

The REAL way to impress her is by being a confident, mature, sexually powerful man. Not by telling her your resume.

It’s not easy to be that kind of man… and it won’t happen over night.

Let’s spend some more time on why TRYING TO IMPRESS WOMEN just makes you look DESPERATE and learn a few techniques that will make the kind of impression you really want.

So let’s break this down…

WHY IMPRESSING WOMEN IS THE WRONG ROAD

What’s wrong with trying to “impress” women, anyway?

To start with, EVERYTHING.

When you intentionally try to impress a woman, you send the following messages on a “subtle” level:

1) I don’t think you’ll like me for who I am, so I will try to “impress” you instead.

2) I’m not comfortable enough around women to just act normal.

3) I don’t have a lot of experience with attractive women.

4) I’m insecure.

5) I don’t know how to make women feel comfortable with me.

Ouch. But it’s the truth.

Women can TELL INSTANTLY when you’re “trying”. The conversation doesn’t feel “normal”, your body language is strange, and you can’t seem to have a regular conversation. Now of course, I’ve just described the way that about 99.9999% of men act when they’re first talking to a woman that they “like”.

Are you ready for a profound insight?

Here goes…

MOST MEN DO THIS WITH MOST ATTRACTIVE WOMEN MOST OF THE TIME. IN OTHER WORDS, IT’S OLD NEWS. IT’S BORING. IT’S PREDICTABLE. AND IT DOES NOT IMPRESS AT ALL.

The bottom line is that trying to impress a woman usually has the OPPOSITE effect.

It not only makes you look like a nervous guy who can’t make normal conversation… it also bores the hell out of women.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD

OK, so you’re out with a beautiful woman you just met a few days before…

She asks you what you do for a living.

Should you answer with:

1) “Well, I’m an engineer for a software company that makes sophisticated vector widget plotting algorithms. I’ve been with them for three years, and I’m about to be promoted to ALGORITHM MANAGER.”

2) “I do stunt work. Have you ever seen it in a movie when a hot actor has to reveal his naked ass? That’s my job.”

…?

Well, it all depends on what your desired outcome is.

If you want to try and IMPRESS the girl with your cool high-tech job, then #1 will work just fine.

Unfortunately, it won’t make her ATTRACTED to you at all, and it will make you sound like a jackass who is trying to be cool.

If you want to ACTUALLY impress her, try #2. Most men don’t have the BALLS to say something like this when a woman asks a “serious” question like “What do you do?”. If you REALLY want to make a long-lasting impression, KEEP THE HUMOR GOING.

She’ll say “No, really… what do you do?”.

Answer with: “No, really. Haven’t you ever seen it when an actor needs a stunt ass? I mean hey… someone’s got to do it”.

This kind of comment will take her by surprise, making her WANT to learn more about you and spend more time with you.

Now, I know not every guy can think up a response like that on the fly.

If you’re thinking this kind of thing is too risky and that you can’t pull it off… NOT KNOWING this crucial stuff is the BIGGEST RISK you can take when it comes to IMPRESSING women.

If you aren’t naturally funny, you need to learn how to be funny. You need hundreds of lines and techniques to use in moments like there.

Now, I can’t possibly go into all the reasons here why it’s a HUGE MISTAKE to try to impress a woman, or to feel like everything you say should be “impressive”. There are MANY reasons for this.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, there are a few things you can do that will INSTANTLY impress a woman… and I mean REALLY impress her.

But these things aren’t OBVIOUS.

The most IMPORTANT thing you can do to IMPRESS a woman is make her feel a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you.

Why? Because attraction is both an EMOTIONAL and physical response.

Here’s an example:

I’ve never heard a woman in my entire life who has ever said she likes short guys. Never.

But guess what?

I know a bunch of guys under 5’6″ who are UNBELIEVABLE with women. You always see them with beautiful women who are taller than them.

So what’s going on?

EMOTIONAL attraction.

And the great thing is that while you can’t grow a few inches (and you don’t need to in order to attract her) you CAN learn how to trigger the kind of emotional attraction that makes a woman take notice.

This feeling will stay with her long after you have left and gone home.

And it’s the one thing that will make women pursue YOU… and try to impress YOU.

What’s the best way to do this?

1) Stop trying to IMPRESS women. Stop now.

If you want to learn more from David De Angelo, check out his Double Your Dating Book by clicking here.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

4 Reasons Why Women Reject Men

Editor — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 23:29:58 +0000

Most men HATE the idea of “rejection”. I’m not talking about “don’t like the idea” or “wish it didn’t happen”… I’m talking HATE here.

The idea of walking up to a woman and having her REJECT you causes most men to instantly feel sick in the pit of their stomachs and literally feel a horrible combination of nervousness and confusion.

A guy can psych himself up for an hour to go talk to a woman, but when the moment comes to actually DO IT, EVERYTHING changes. The heart rate shoots up, breathing quickens, eyes dart back and forth, thoughts of rejection fill the mind, and eventually the pressure becomes too much to bare.

Most men find this state so scary that they end up deciding to forget about approaching the women… just to end the discomfort. The temptation is great to just “walk away” because just as quickly as the intense nervousness is triggered by the moment one decides to ACT, it goes away when you decide to “forget about it and walk away”.

The fact that “choosing to walk away” leads to the “instant gratification” of the nervous feeling going away makes it the most popular option. Most of the time (and I’m talking about probably 99% of the time here) men just walk away. They give up before they’ve even started.

I find this topic fascinating.

If I just think about it, I can remember MANY times in my past where I wanted to talk to a woman, but I just didn’t do it. In fact, many of them are so vivid that I can remember the exact setting, what the girl looked like, who else was there, etc… and I’m talking about situations that happened YEARS ago.

These moments obviously made an impression.

I can also remember kicking myself for DAYS afterwards for not approaching and talking to these girls. Can you relate?

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACTUAL REJECTION AND THE FEAR OF REJECTION..

I think it’s important to realize that there’s a BIG difference between ACTUAL rejection (having a girl who is offended, upset, rude, etc. to you when you start talking to her) and the FEAR of rejection (how you feel when you imagine a woman rejecting you).

I’ve found that for me PERSONALLY, my FEAR of rejection is actually FAR, FAR more painful and difficult to deal with than ACTUAL rejection in the real world.

The main reason for this is that most of the time when a man starts talking to a woman, she is actually rather nice about the whole affair.

Men aren’t “rejected” very often!

If a woman isn’t interested, she usually just says “I have a boyfriend” or “No thank you”… or she’ll just walk away without saying anything at all.

Out of the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of times that I’ve approached women, I can’t remember any time that a woman has yelled “Get away from me you loser! You are unattractive and the very thought of going on a date with you makes me sick to my stomach!”

I’m sure it’s happened to SOMEONE, but it’s never happened to ME.

The worst I’ve had is a woman making fun of the words I used (telling me that my pickup line was lame) or just walking away. No slaps, no boyfriends beating me up, and no yelling. But here’s the kicker…

You can experience an intense FEAR of rejection EVERY time you consider approaching a woman. Imagine, something you can predict with almost perfect accuracy.

You can be in any situation, anywhere, anytime, and still have FEAR of rejection… which will prevent you from approaching a woman. Ah, the power of the human mind.

HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION…

A lot of guys ask me, “How do I deal with rejection?”.

The answer: Don’t worry about it.

If you get “rejected”, you’ll be fine. Really. It’s no big deal, and it doesn’t happen that often. And when it does, you’ll recover shortly thereafter.

You’ll find yourself telling your friends about it, and laughing together. Rejection from a woman is about as painful as getting a “D” on a test.

It’s basically insignificant. The REAL question is “How do I deal with my FEAR of rejection?”.

WHY WOMEN REJECT MEN…

Now let’s talk about those rare instances where a woman actually REJECTS a man.

For the sake of this discussion, I want to define “rejection” as a woman doing something that lets you know that she’s upset and offended that you started talking to her, and she responds in a mean or vicious way to make you go away.

I do NOT consider a woman walking away without stopping to talk to you, her saying “No thank you”, or any other time when a woman just simply doesn’t engage to be “rejection”.

If you DO consider these things to be rejection, please stop reading now, call your mom into your room, and tell her that it’s time you grew up and moved out… and that she’ll get over the fact that she can’t choose your clothes for you and hug you when you have a boo-boo anymore.

I digress…

I’ve found that there are a few main reasons why women actually DO reject men (by the way, it’s VERY rare that I actually get “rejected” anymore… it’s probably happened to me once in the last 100 times I’ve started a conversation with a woman… because I don’t do dumb-ass things anymore).

Here are the main ones:

1. The guy isn’t paying attention, and he does something stupid to begin with.

Some guys think it’s appropriate to walk up to a woman, put their arm around her, and say, “Hey baby, you sure do look hot tonight”.

Some guys don’t see anything wrong with following a woman around all night, staring at her constantly, then walking over with a nervous, sweaty-palmed, stalkerish look and saying, “You remind me of my sister”.

These are bad ideas.

2. The guy doesn’t stop when he should.

If two women are sitting alone at a table in the corner, and one of them is obviously upset, and you walk over to them and say, “Hi, can I buy you a drink?”… and the upset one looks at you and says, “No thanks, we’re in the middle of a conversation” (then looks away from you back at her friend)… and you say, “Aw, cummon, have a drink. You need to lighten up and have some fun”… and she looks back at you and says firmly, “We’re busy”… and you say, “What, are you in a bad mood or something? I’m just trying to buy you a drink”… and she says, “We don’t want a drink”… and you say, “Well maybe your friend does”… and the friend says, “No, I don’t want one either”…

OK, hopefully you get it.

If you ever do something like this, you are a dumb ass, and you deserve to be slapped and have 47 drinks thrown in your lap.

3. Making a woman nervous with your body language.

If you start talking to a woman, but your posture is weak and slumped, your eyes are darting around but not meeting hers, and you’re wearing an unbuttoned flannel shirt with one of the tails tucked in, you’re probably not going to get a favorable response.

If you creep a woman out, things aren’t going to work for you.

4. Not understanding a woman’s body language and other communication.

When you start talking to a woman, she will let you know within a very short time if she’s receptive to talking to you.

If you’ve been reading too many books that say “A woman will signal her availability and interest by flipping her hair, licking her lips, and cocking her head coyly at you”, then get over it.

This stuff happens to Brat Pitt, not to YOU.

And if it DOES happen to you, then skip this part.

When you first start talking to a woman she’s either going to keep talking to you in an open, comfortable way or she’s not.

She’s either going to act like things are cool or she’s going to act like they’re not.

This is an amazing thought, but women get nervous too. They will often stop talking just because they can’t think of anything to say, etc.

But you need to pay attention.

Experience is the best teacher here.

My simple point is that MOST GUYS CAUSE REJECTION by what they’re doing. They aren’t paying attention, or they’re doing things that are offensive.

If you just avoid a few major mistakes, learn how to start conversations with women, and do a few simple things RIGHT, you’ll all but totally avoid “rejection” from the women you approach.

HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR OF REJECTION

The REAL obstacle here is the FEAR.

As I mentioned, FEAR of rejection, or IMAGINING rejection when you should be imagining success, leads to walking away.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

Ironically, I’ve found that the best way to overcome my own fear of rejection was to see that it wasn’t going to actually happen.

The more times I approached women and started conversations and the more I saw that women usually responded positively, the less I imagined things going wrong. This led to a positive feedback loop of me wanting to approach more women and have more success.

Here are a few ideas for overcoming your own FEAR of rejection:

1) Go out to a bar, and watch men approaching women.

Take a Saturday night, and just go out alone. Find a seat at the bar where things are busy, and just watch.

Make sure you visit a place that is REALLY busy, so you can see a lot of people interacting.

Now, pay attention.

You’ll begin to pick out the guys who are approaching a lot of women, asking them to dance, buying them drinks, etc. Watch what happens.

You’ll be able to see for yourself that most of the time, even if the woman isn’t interested, nothing bad happens.

You’ll also see that when a guy tries to grab a woman who’s walking by, makes a crude sexual comment, or just keeps talking when a woman isn’t interested, that the woman’s feelings might escalate and she’ll respond negatively.

You can watch what works and what doesn’t right in front of your own eyes.

This will start to reprogram your mind that women don’t usually “reject” men, even in the most intense situations where they’re being approached all night.

2) Start small.

If you have to, start by talking to women who are PAID to talk to you.

Go to a mall (one of my favorites).

Stores in malls hire attractive young women.

Walk into every store, and start conversations.

Practice making eye contact.

Come up with a few jokes that you can use in any situation (“So, do you own this store? Perfect, then you won’t care if I just take some things…”)

Ask the salesgirls to smell your new cologne (the one you sprayed on your wrist next door) and give you her opinion.

The more you do this, the more you’ll get used to starting conversations with women you don’t know, and having comfortable conversations.

3) Choose one default thing for each situation.

It amazes me that guys don’t think ahead.

They don’t plan what they’re going to do.

As the old saying goes “By failing to plan, you plan to fail”.

You really need to figure out a DEFAULT thing you can do to start a conversation with any woman, anywhere, anytime.

Once you come up with your idea, mentally rehearse it until you could do it in any situation.

Then get out and do it.

HOW TO AVOID REJECTION AND INCREASE SUCCESS

Human beings tend to want to “save face” when it comes to relationships.

We don’t like the idea that another person has outright “rejected” us, and we ALSO tend to not want to “hurt other people’s feelings” by rejecting them.

This is one of the reasons why women will often lie and say “I have a boyfriend” when they don’t.

You must become aware of these “subconscious” processes and motivations, work with them, and eventually become the master of them.

Learn to recognize when a woman is “politely saying no thanks”, and move on.

If a woman isn’t interested in you, forget about it. It doesn’t matter.

Go to the next one. There are plenty.

LEARN HOW AND WHY WOMAN FEEL ATTRACTION FOR MEN

Most men believe that if they could only overcome their own fear of rejection, and learn how to start talking to women, all their problems would be solved.

Not so!

Just because you can start conversations with women doesn’t mean that they’ll feel ATTRACTION for you.

It took me a LONG time to really “get” this.

It took me even LONGER to realize that there is actually a way to make women feel the emotion of ATTRACTION for you… just by the way you communicate with them.

I used to believe that it was a mysterious, lucky accident when a woman felt ATTRACTION. Now I realize that it’s only “lucky” for those guys who don’t understand it (and very few do).

And if you’d like to get an introduction to the main concepts, then download a copy of my downloadable eBook “Double Your Dating“. This eBook is a complete intro to the mind set and techniques you need to understand to start being successful with women. It’s here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook

I’ll talk to you soon,
David DeAngelo

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How To Be The Man Every Woman Wants

Editor — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 03:20:13 +0000

I wanted to share a secret to attracting women that I believe is one of the ULTIMATE advantages you can have.

When I was first learning about how to get past my internal fears… how to approach women and start conversations… how to create attraction and chemistry… and how to take things to the next level… I wound up trying a TON of different “tricks and techniques”.

Whenever I found a new “trick” that worked for me, I felt like I had just put another piece of the puzzle together… that I had gotten just that much closer to REALLY understanding how things worked.

But there was another feeling that happened even MORE often:

It was when I would try something that had “worked” before, but it DIDN’T work this time.

It was the feeling that I must have MISSED something… that I must not REALLY get it.

I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about here.

It was probably a couple of YEARS after starting my quest that I had what I consider to be one of the biggest “Ah Ha!” experiences of my life.

Here’s what my realization was:

The guys I knew who were the MOST successful with women didn’t read books to learn a bunch of “pick up lines”… and they didn’t rely on tricks to attract women.

The guys I new who were MOST successful had a certain something about them that just seemed to MAGNETICALLY attract women.

In fact, these guys did and said things to women that seemed like they COULDN’T work to create attraction.

But it worked. It seemed to ALWAYS work.

At first, I just assumed that these guys must be good-looking, or have some kind of natural charm that I would never have.

It seemed like an “unfair advantage”.

Well, I learned that it WAS actually an unfair advantage. But I ALSO learned that it was something that ANY guy can have.

WARNING: What I’m about to say might sound a little “new-agey”… but stick with me.

This “Ah Ha!” led me to an even deeper and more powerful realization:

These men who were consistently successful with women had a QUALITY about them, and a deep UNDERSTANDING of how male/female attraction works…

…SO THEY DIDN’T NEED TECHNIQUES.

Because they had this magical quality, and because they understood how to direct and channel any situation and conversation… they created success without needing the tricks.

In fact, one of my friends who was VERY good with women started LEARNING some “pick up lines” and other tricks, and started doing WORSE with women. True story.

He had the quality, and the tricks messed it up for him!

Well, after really digging into this topic and trying to translate this “secret knowledge”… and how to develop this quality I speak of… into a system that a regular guy could “get” use, I finally create the Master Key.

It’s a Master Key that will unlock doors that NO guy with a bunch of “tricks and techniques” can open.

It’s a key that will attract — AND KEEP — the more desirable and attractive women… the kinds of women that most guys will NEVER even have a chance to date.

I could go on and on about it, but if you’re interested in learning more about this key, then go here and read THIS:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/OnBeingAMan (New Window)

I hope this secret helps you as much as it has helped me in my success with women.

Talk to you in a couple of days.

Your Friend,
David Deangelo

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Do You Suffer From Perfect Picture Disease?

David Wygant — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 22:34:04 +0000

What is the perfect picture mentality? On a Friday night, we go out with these amazing expectations of what is going to occur.

We think, this is the night; this is the party or whatever thing we’re meant to go to. We have this perfect idea of how the night should turn out.

You’re going to talk to the woman who had that college sweatshirt on two weeks ago, because you finally have figured out something to say to her. But then she walks in wearing a different sweatshirt, and you don’t have anything to say.

We have this perfect picture of the way things are going to be. And then once we arrive, the night progresses and reality begins to set in. When reality sets in, all of a sudden that perfect picture just disappears.

Our monkey chatter starts coming back, and all of the things we imagined the night to be contrast what the night really is.

Most people, when they go out, are not present at all. They are thinking about what COULD happen.

Listen to a conversation of people in a bar – the men are always telling each other, “Hey man, check her out!” You’re not even listening to the conversation that you’re having at that moment with your friend!

So if you dial it back a little bit and remain 100% present, the outcome will be entirely different. If you’re fully present and into the conversation you’re having with your friend, you’re actually creating attraction. You’re creating the type of night that you want to have.

You have to get this picture out of your head. We all do it – even on dates. Maybe you’re on the third date and you’re thinking, this is going to be the night that you sleep with her. You make her dinner at your house, and you think that everything is going to be perfect – but you didn’t realize that she had a stomachache and her period.

So you come on to her a little bit, she pushes you away, and you’re thinking to yourself, I don’t understand! She tells you that tonight is not a good night for her, and you take it personally as either an insult or rejection. But really, it just wasn’t a good night for her!

This perfect picture tends to ruin just about every night that we have. Our expectations are so strong and powerful that we ruin it.

Staying present and getting rid of expectations really give you the opportunity to expand and enjoy yourself. I’ve found that the best nights that I’ve had are the ones where nothing turned into something. My worst nights are the ones where I have expectations so let go of everything stay present and have fun.

Learn more from David Wygant at his website.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Don’t Settle for Less

David Wygant — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 01:24:26 +0000

Are you dating somebody you really like? Or are you dating someone because you’re afraid that you will never meet anybody else better? Are you just compromising?

For those of you who missed my podcast a few weeks ago about the “it” factor, let me remind you what it is: it’s all about finding somebody that you’re really excited about. You know, that Tom Cruise jump-on-the-couch moment for Katie Holmes.

Sure, we all made fun of it, but who wouldn’t want to jump up and down on their own couch? We’re probably not famous enough to jump on Oprah’s couch, but wouldn’t you like to be so excited by someone that it made you want to jump up and down like that? Don’t you want to feel so excited about somebody that you’re just about to burst?

Dating shouldn’t be any different. Are you dating someone that you’re excited about? Or are you dating somebody just for the sake of dating? That means that you’re in this relationship because you want a relationship, but you’re still looking around.

How many of you are spending time with somebody that you’re really not all that into? Are you just kind of passing the time away with that person because you’re too afraid to go out and find somebody else?

That’s a big issue for a lot of people. So many guys will come to me and say, “David, I’m seeing somebody, but I’m just not really that excited about her.” I’ll ask these guys how long they’ve been dating this person, and they’ll say, “Two years.” What?!?

Two years is a long time to waste on somebody that you’re not excited about. You want to be excited and crazy about somebody. You want to be able to look at somebody and feel like they are the greatest person in the entire world.

For those of you who are in relationships like this, know that you are just wasting your time. Why are you so afraid?

What are your biggest fears? Where is your mindset? Share with me today. I’m always willing to share with you guys how I feel; I want to hear from you today. I want to know why you have done this in your past.

And check out the new Dating Management product that I created that really teaches you how to go out and find that amazing person. As I said a few weeks ago, I really want all of you to experience that “it” factor.

I want you to be really excited about the person that you are with, and not just compromise so you can be in a relationship. Compromising in life means that you are not fully embracing your life.

And if you’re not fully embracing your life right now, what are you waiting for? Tomorrow you might get hit by a bus. I know we always say that, but it’s true. I know for some of you that that doesn’t really resonate, because you don’t really live by any buses, but just think about it. You could get hit by lightning. Anything could happen.

A friend of mine lost his life when he was 25 years old because he was riding a bike in Italy, and he didn’t realize that the road turned. He was going too fast and he went over the side of a mountain. And I could just not believe it when I heard what had happened to him.

But you just never know when this journey is going to end. So why are you compromising so much in every aspect of your life?

How many of you are happy at your job? How many of you are compromising at your jobs? How many of you are in relationships where you are compromising, and why are you doing it?

Why are you making compromises instead of just going after what you want?

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

The Ultimate Abundance Mindset

David Wygant — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 22:32:58 +0000

You want to have the ultimate mindset. It’s just like we were talking about– we were just discussing owning your own business, and sales – come January 1st, if you own your own business, you always feel like you are broke. In sales, you feel the same way.

You feel like you have to get that first deal of the year. You have to compare yourself to the previous year, and you want to continually improve your statistics. You’re competitive, you want to make more money, and you want to be more successful than you were the previous year.

We all do it – I do it too. I’ve done some really cheap things, like holding checks for the month of December, and then sticking them in the bank January 1st so I feel like I’ve made more money. You’re still paying the same amount of taxes on it, it doesn’t really make a difference, but this way you wake up on January 2nd, thinking, yeah, I’ve got all this cash in the bank already!

Here is something that someone very financially successful taught me a long time ago: don’t ever count what you’ve made THIS year. Count what you’ve made your entire adult life. In this way, you will feel abundance.

I think that this guy had made $20 million at this point. So he said instead of thinking to himself, man, I’m having an off year – instead, he thought, well, I’ve made $20 million so far!

You feel much more abundant then. You don’t have to count out each little deal, adding it up, putting a pencil to it and you’re not comparing yourself to others.

So take this same principle and apply it to your success with women.

So many guys will think, god, I’ve had a bad week. Instead, think, wow, I’ve gone out on 3,000 dates in my lifetime, and slept with 250 women!

Think abundance. Walk around and feel that abundance. Don’t think about what you’ve done just this month. Think about how many dates you’ve been on in your life. Then your energy will change, and the next time you talk to a woman, you’ll be talking to her with abundance and not desperation.

If you have a rough streak – which we all have, where life just doesn’t move as quickly – you might start putting pressure on yourself to break the streak. But if you can start thinking about all of the wonderful people you’ve met in your life, you’ll have the principle of abundance.

It’s just like the baseball player that’s in a slump. When a player is having a 2-10 slump, the best ones pull themselves out of it by thinking, well, I’ve still got a .300 average! You can always tell that a player in a 2-54 slump has just been thinking about how bad things are going for him. He’s started pressing.

When you start pressing in terms of meeting women, or even if you’re pressing in business or just in life in general, write down all of your successes.

Take a day off from chasing – be it money or women – and then go back the next day with a brand new attitude of how successful you’re entire life has been. That’s how you do it. It’s all about the mindset.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Doom and Gloom by David Wygant

David Wygant — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 00:26:13 +0000

The stock market is down 300 points…

Unemployment reaches 10% in California…

Foreclosures are at an all-time high…

The housing market is down 35%…

Let me ask you something: how do you feel about all of the headlines these days? Are you using this as your newest excuse for not going out to meet people? Or not to purchase things that you really desire that will improve your life?

Do you know what I’ve discovered? This is something that I really believe: the economy is not really as bad as we say it is – the economy is only as bad as we think it is because most of you are buying into the hype.

It’s that poverty mentality. It’s all of you saying to yourselves, “Well, I may still have a job but the economy is bad right now, and I’m not going to do the things I want to do. I’m going to wait for the economy to get better. I’m going to wait for President Obama to tell me that the economy is better.”

In reality, you have to start taking charge of your own economy. You are your own government.

Do you still have a job? Are you safe at your job? Does your job still pay you what it did last year? Are you managing your bills like you always have? Are you paying things on time? Are you buying things you can afford?

The economy keeps getting worse because the people who find themselves in a good financial situation (which is 90% of us!) stop spending money and push the economy into a further funk.

And this becomes your new excuse. It’s unbelievable. As humans, we are always looking for excuses not to progress. We come from a fear-based society.

So let me ask all of you a question today. How is the economic downturn REALLY affecting you? And be honest – are you really just using it as an excuse?

Life is all about mindset. What you believe is what you are going to attract. And if you have a poverty mindset, you’re going to be the next one fired during these poor economic times. If you truly believe that the world is coming to an end, it will.

I don’t believe that the world is coming to an end. My business is fine. I love my clients. Money comes in, people buy products and come to bootcamps, and I give it my all.

But it really amazes me how many people have that poverty consciousness – they’re watching every last dime thinking that it will actually be their last dime.

You attract exactly what you are. You have to understand that life is about abundance. If you live an abundant lifestyle, you’ll have an abundant lifestyle. I’m not talking about going out there and spending more money than you make – I think that’s ridiculous.

But the “doom and gloom” people – which a lot of you are – tend to really think that life is going to come to an end.

Do you remember Y2K? How many of you thought that the world was going to come to an end when the clock struck midnight, bringing in the year 2000? How many of you actually believed that everything would go haywire? That you wouldn’t be able to get your money out of the bank? That things wouldn’t work anymore?

I knew a person during that time that actually quit his job, moved to the mountains of Arizona and traded all of his money for gold because he was afraid of leaving his money in the bank. This is the same thing all over again. People buy into the “doom and gloom” because they live in a world full of fear and excuses.

What would you rather live in: a world of abundance and positive energy or a world based on fear?

For those of you who have never checked out my No Excuses and Self Love audio programs, I think it’s time you do. And by the way, if you don’t like it, you can return it within 90 days. I truly believe that you’re going to love it – because I practice abundance all of the time!

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Stop Being Such A Wimp

David Wygant — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 02:15:34 +0000

I want to share a personal story with all of you today. You know that I rarely talk about my personal life on the blog – it’s not really that I don’t want to share it with 10,000 people every day – it’s just that personal life is personal!

I just don’t like to put my personal life out there. I’ve never been a kiss-and-tell kind of guy.

But I want to talk today about not caring. So many of you care too much and I’m getting WAY too many emails about how much you care about this one person who blew you off.
I’ve written about this several times, but for some reason or another, I just feel the urge to write about it again. I find that many of you put all of your eggs in one basket and you just care TOO MUCH.

About 2 months ago I went out with a new woman I had met. I’d say that the first hour of the date was mediocre at best. It just wasn’t really that much fun. But the second hour of the date was much more interesting and I actually became quite intrigued by her as the second hour progressed.

So at the end of the date, I did my usual “walk away” – it’s rare that I’ll kiss someone I still don’t really know. I like to build the desire up a bit – those of you that have heard my Mastery Series and have read the blogs know that walking away is something that I do to create more desire and passion – not only in her, but in myself as well.

I sent her a great email the next day and told her what a pleasant surprise the date turned out to be. Email was how we had been corresponding back and forth. I told her that I had had no expectations, but I had ended up really enjoying the evening. And then I wrote something else very cute: “hope you have a great weekend, enjoy the ice cream that you were talking about,” because she was really obsessed with this ice cream she was going to have.

She never responded.

I was sitting in my office with my assistant and some other people, and they asked me, “wow, man, aren’t you bummed?” I responded, “no, not at all.” I don’t care. Why should I care?

I went out, spent two hours with someone, we had a nice night and got to know each other a little bit, and I guess that the chemistry just wasn’t there for her. That’s fine! It didn’t ruin my day or bum me out.

I didn’t email all of my friends obsessing about it, asking what I did wrong or lamenting about why she didn’t email me back. I didn’t overanalyze every second of the date, thinking that I shouldn’t have said this, or that I should have said that. I just let it go.

This is what I think so many of you out there have never learned. Let it go! Why are you obsessing about someone who doesn’t want to obsess about you? Would you ever go out with someone that obsessed about you? It’s not healthy!

You need to learn to let things go and not care. It’s really not that important. If you go out with somebody and you just don’t connect – it’s fine! Even if you think you connect and nothing happens – it’s fine! If the other person doesn’t feel the same way that you do – it’s okay!

You can always send another email or call them again in a few days in one last-ditch effort. Maybe they just needed to think about it. Who knows?

But you should never obsess about it. Every time you obsess about something, every time you over think something, every time you overanalyze something – every time you drive your friends crazy about something – there are more opportunities that you’ve missed to stay present, meet and connect with other people.

So stop caring so much, and start moving forward! The minute you begin to move forward, your life will become much easier to manage than you’ve ever imagined!

Todays video is all about how to have fun while meeting the opposite sex.

Stop being so uptight loosen up and enjoy!!!

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Sean Stephenson Interview

Editor — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 20:53:57 +0000

Tell me about where you’re from and how you got to be where you are now with “inner game.”

Where I’m from? Well physically speaking, Planet Earth; more specifically, Chicago, IL. Intellectually and emotionally, however, I’ve come from a kid born with a rare bone disorder that has confined my mobility to a wheelchair, stunted my growth to only three feet, and made my bones extremely brittle, fracturing over 200 times by age 18. I grew up often frustrated that people would stare at me, kids would point and laugh at my appearance, and I could NEVER blend in and be normal. As an adult though, my condition is seen as a blessing. “Peacocking” is not necessary because I am the freaking peacock. One look at me and I’m in your brain FOREVER; that comes in quite handy with women. I never have to do crazy things, die my hair, ink my body up, or trip and fall into a tackle box (get lots of piercings) to get attention. I just have to show up.

As far as my ‘Love Evolution,’ I was quite the late bloomer. I didn’t get my first kiss until I was 19. I didn’t have my first sexual experience until age 24 and my first REAL girlfriend until age 26. Women loved being my ‘friend’ and hanging out with me, but I never converted them into lovers and girlfriends until I got my inner game together. I used to blame my lack of success on my physical condition, “Women can’t be attracted to a little man in a wheelchair.”

That was my pathetic mantra from age 12 until age 24. I broke the cycle when I started studying what women really want in a man. When I discovered that my inner game (confidence and self-worth) is the ultimate determining factor in creating attraction, I took off. Within one year I acquired more intimacy than in my entire previous dating history. Now I’m dating some of the most attractive, talented, and loving women around. My transformation was so radical that I couldn’t keep it to myself; I had to share my insights and explorations with the world in my online Magazine: www.InnerGameMagazine.com. Guys struggling in their dating life often don’t realize that they need to get their mind/life together to create solid attraction.

Have you had any huge realizations about inner game that you’ve only had in the last year?

More than I can count. Every time I sit down with an IGM cover story guest, my mind is blown away with insights about the male and female mind. Here’s a few for you:

If you don’t find yourself attractive, you’ll give off the vibe that neither should the women you want. Spend a few minutes a day looking in the mirror looking for your attractive qualities: hair, eyes, smile, whatever! This isn’t some new age crap; I’m serious. Find yourself attractive and radiate that energy.

If you get involved in philanthropy and give back to the planet and humanity you accomplish three powerful things…
1. You meet hot women who are into more than themselves.

2. You develop your life into a more interesting experience, which is more attractive.

3. You feel better about yourself and life, which is more fulfilling than anything you could do or buy.

If you get into badass shape physically something magical takes place in your inner game: you develop discipline, you feel better emotionally (less foggy), you feel more powerful, and you look healthier (which is more attractive).

Is there one big key to focus on for self esteem and confidence that can help guys who are just starting out?

Read the book One Small Step Can Change Your Life.

I didn’t write it, nor do I even know the author. It’s a book that I recommend to all my clients before they come and see me. I find when you want to develop your confidence and self-esteem, you have to be reminded that Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes some time for a new identity to take root in a man’s mind. Stay positive through the process, even if you fall on your face 100 times while getting your inner game together.

I still have days where fear and insecurity nibble on my mind; that’s no cause to resort to quitting or sulking that I’m not perfect. I would also tell you to surround yourself with resources and people that believe in you more than you believe in yourself. On those dark days when you trip and fall, they’ll be right there cheering you on to get back up, not kicking you for being the idiot that fell. You can’t grow a strong plant in compromised/toxic soil, and you can’t grow a healthy self-esteem and confidence in a place of negativity, cynicism, and doubt.

Flush away negative influences. It’s tough to do so; however, it’s imperative. Anything else I could teach you is pointless if your living, working, and socializing environments are not supportive.

Where do you meet most of the women you date?

Charity events, bookstores, coffee houses, personal growth seminars, and the gym. I use to meet women in clubs, bars, and restaurants;however, that often left me with disappointment. Reason being is those girls were either flakes, train wrecks, or had low expectations in life. I personally want a gal who has her life together and is capable of being self-sufficient and open to giving and receiving love fully. Don’t go after a girl at a club at 3:00am who is bombed out of her mind and then think she’s going to be extremely responsible and mature the next day. Where you meet someone is more telling than just the place you reference in a story of how you met.

Which people have you had personal dealings with that have helped your inner game? What did they teach you?

I have been mentored by dozens of the most amazing individuals; here are a few…

Byron Katie: An unquestioned mind is a mind in chaos. You can’t change people; you can only live your life as an example around them. You have to love ‘what is’ rather than mope about ‘what should be.’ If you fight with ‘what is’ you lose, but only 100% of the time.

Ask yourself on a regular basis when you have chaotic thoughts:

1. Is that true?

2. Can you absolutely know that’s true?

3. How does that thought make you feel?

4. Who would you be without that thought?

5. What is the opposite of that thought?

Tony Robbins: You have to live life with passion. You can’t play the game of life half-assed; if you do, you’ll get half-assed results. There are six human needs we all have to have met on some level:

1. You need Certainty: predictability of what will happen next.

2. You need Uncertainty: variety of new experiences.

3. You need Significance: attention from those around you.

4. You need Love/Connection: bonding with those you care about.

You can’t feel fulfilled without the last two:

5. You need Growth: expansion of your life.

6. You need Contribution: giving back to humanity/the planet.

Gary Chapman: Love is expressed like a language; if you don’t speak to someone in their language, it’s like you never spoke to them at all.

1. Some of us need words of affirmation, i.e. compliments and words of encouragement.

2. Some of us need physical touch, i.e. hug, pat on the back, or sessions of being held close.

3. Some of us need gifts, i.e. some physical/tangible item to show someone that we thought of them.

4. Some of us need quality time, i.e. sitting in the park just being together saying nothing.

5. Some of us need acts of service, i.e. cooking a meal, mowing their lawn, or fixing their car.

David DeAngelo: Attraction isn’t a choice. Once you spark attraction in a woman she will feel it on some level for you forever. The way you spark it best is by having an exciting life, being playful, and standing your ground when she starts testing you.

Deepak Chopra: We are all energy. If you are not attracting what you want into your life it is because you are not at the highest mental awareness (vibration). You must align your mind, body, and spirit if you want to start creating the life of your dreams.

No element of your life can be disconnected from your life. If you are sick, tired, broke, or hurting in any way, it will eventually surface in every area of your life.

Larry Winget: If your life sucks, it’s cause you suck. You are afraid to work hard and get bruised. The people who accomplish the most and get the most juice out of their life are the ones that take the most responsibility for their life and NEVER blame anyone or anything. PERIOD!

Don Miguel Ruiz: You must master the four most powerful agreements:

Agreement 1: Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Agreement 2: Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Agreement 3: Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Agreement 4: Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Even with your confidence now, what happens when self-doubt creeps in at a later time? How do you deal with that?

I zoom out and ask the questions:

“Is this life or death?”

“Will this even be important twenty years from now?”

“What good am I accomplishing by coming from fear?”

Then, if the fear/doubt is really strong, I employ the Cartesian logic:

1. What would happen if this did happen?

2. What would happen if this didn’t happen?

3. What wouldn’t happen if this did happen?

4. What wouldn’t happen if this didn’t happen?

Run that on your brain and you’ll come out the other end a pile of mush; Issue neutralized.

I also will go out and read from empowering books, review empowering journal entries of mine, or go a few minutes on my punching bag.

Doubt is a virus and it has no place in your mind; that’s why it hosts on you. You need to find it and get it out of there IMMEDIATELY.

You studied under Tony Robbins. What did you learn from him?
That I was capable of FAR more than I realized. He taught me if you make something “a MUST” you will pool every resource possible to make it happen… versus “a should,” which most people NEVER get around to doing.

I learned that the body and mind work together in every second to create our experience of reality, and we must listen closely to both.

I learned that people will judge you no matter what you do so you might as well be living life on your terms and be having a blast.

Has anything you learned from Tony Robbins proven incorrect or inapplicable as you’ve gone through life?

While I know he’s not perfect, his material has always checked out and worked for me and my clients. Tony has been nothing but a powerful resource in my life. Sure, I was sad the day I realized he wasn’t flawless. I was shocked that even the KING of personal growth had a temper, made bad decisions, and did things differently than I might have, but that’s all a part of being human. His human side doesn’t discredit his material.

What is the biggest inner game problem guys have within the community? What can they do to remedy it?

Thinking that their problem is external, i.e. that women are messed up, that they just don’t have the ‘right line,’ and that they aren’t good looking enough. It’s ALL BS!!!

The problem lies internally. They don’t feel like they have what it takes; they feel flawed and incapable of being lovable.

Everyone has a different remedy that is customized to where they are. Everyone in the community wants a blanket answer. Give me the five steps to getting laid – that’s a bunch of crap. If you get laid, sure you’ll feel good, for awhile…but then the “I’m not enough” dragon will surface again in a few hours, days, or weeks.

No amount of “closes” will make you feel complete and truly happy.

The guys in the community must realize that they must face their fears and do so in a healthy, safe, and professional manner. For some, that might mean hiring a skilled coach; for others it might mean reading 100 books; for some it might mean getting their finances in order, and for others it could mean getting in shape. Without a stable life, you are building a gaming toolbox that will eventually leave you skilled at seduction and empty in fulfillment….not to mention that you won’t land a loving woman who will be willing to face the good times and bad with you.

Do you have any field reports of you personally that you can relate to help the readers?

The term ‘field reports’ creeps the hell out of me. I think you mean, “do I have any successful events that might help a guy out.” Yes. I detail many of them in my free eBook Top 10 Inner Game Killers, which you can get by going to www.InnerGameMagazine.com

To give you one right now, I’d share this…

I’d been friends with this gorgeous girl for years. I thought I was stuck in the friend zone for years. Slowly but surely she saw my life transform as I got my inner game together. She saw my life become more and more exciting. She saw me get super busy and extremely mature and responsible.

Then one night we sat on a coach together watching a football game. We started holding hands, cuddling, and sending very warm energy to each other.

Something magically shifted; she was starting to fall for me. That sparked a several month relationship that was filled with sex, love, fun, caring, and lots of connection. While the relationship didn’t last forever, it taught me that when a man gets his life together, women take notice. There is no such thing as the friend zone if you create an attractive life and you are giving a woman unconditional love.

What is inner game magazine, what can guys expect?

There are two ways to subscribe to Inner Game Magazine. The Basic subscription is FREE and will give you a weekly article written by me or my editor and inside woman, Liz.

The Premium subscription will give you all of the benefits of the Basic, plus a monthly high quality audio interview where I sit down with some of the best experts in the field of inner game. Along with the interview you will get the Premium Pages, which are like Cliff Notes for each interview. All of this is only $15 a month and $1 for the first issue.

Why should guys be subscribed to it?

While you will no doubt get great information from reading the articles available in the Basic subscription, they won’t help you truly develop your inner game.

For that, you need a Premium subscription. Each month, I sit down with a male dating expert and find out the inner workings of his mind and his life. I don’t just shoot the breeze with him; my interviews all follow a system that allows you to model these men so that eventually your life will be as exciting and fulfilling as theirs are.

Women will not find a man attractive if she senses that he is flaky or does things halfway. A Premium subscription is the only way to truly commit to becoming the man who women want.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Live The Life You Love by David Wygant

David Wygant — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:59:51 +0000

“Live the life you love. Love the life you live.”

These are the exact words on the charm on my dog’s collar. It’s interesting that a five year-old black Labrador can be walking around with a statement that most people don’t follow.

Think for a second. You are trying to attract (note that the key word here is “attract”) a member of the opposite sex for you to date. Most people don’t understand the art of attraction, and they spend their nights chasing the opposite sex in places that they’re not having fun.

Let’s go deeper into this. What makes you think that if you go out on a Friday or Saturday night, that you are going to meet somebody . . . especially if you have never really met somebody interesting before on a Friday or Saturday night?

Do you love standing around at a bar? Is it your belief that this is your only option . . . or have you made it your only option because you have not thought outside the box? Recently I posted a video about how in my life I do what I love all the time, thus allowing me to attract and meet women in a very natural way.

I don’t like standing around in a bar on a Friday night. I find it boring. I also don’t like drunk talk. I don’t really drink. If you do, that’s wonderful. It is just not really my lifestyle. Sitting around having someone slur their words at me on a Friday night is boring.

So for me, I spend my time doing the things I love to do: I go to a yoga class. I go to a bookstore. I go get some dinner with a friend not because the place is hot, but rather because the food is good and because I like the atmosphere.

By doing what I love, I am creating good energy wherever I go and thus attracting women into my life. Put me in a bar, and I don’t attract anybody because I’m not happy there.

This is the profound meaning of “Live the life you love. Love the life you live.” By doing what you love, you will be passionate about it. This will lead to passionate encounters and interesting conversations with the opposite sex.

By choosing to do things you love, you will also always have a lot to about with others. When I go to an art gallery, I have a lot to talk about with people.

I never go to places that I would only be going to because “women are going to be there.” Women are everywhere. You just have to open your eyes and see all the available people. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my work, I call this observation practice. I go over this extensively in my Men’s and Women’s Audio Mastery Series

Some of the worst dating advice that has been prevalent over the years is to tell people to look for members of the opposite in places “where men go” or “where women go” REGARDLESS of whether these places are places people have any interest in going.

For instance, women have been told to take an auto mechanics class because “men will be there” even when a woman has no interest in learning how to fix cars. This is ridiculous! Even if a woman would meet a man there, what would they have in common? Also, why would you want to deliberately set out to meet someone whom you know is interested in something you’re not?!

I know there are women in a cooking class. I don’t like to cook . . . I like to eat takeout. So I’d rather meet women at a takeout class.

Now instead of me continuing to go deeper into this, I want you to make a list of all the things that YOU love to do. Then the next time you are doing one of the things that you love to do, look around and see if there are members of the opposite sex there also.

Granted, if you are a woman who loves needlepoint, there is a pretty good change that the man of your dreams is not going to be there doing ‘knit one pull two.” There are just some places that men will be men and women will be women. Most of life, though, is coed.

So do what my dog Daphne does . . . Live the life you love, and love the life you live.

Check out more from David Wygant at his website.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Sean Stephenson Backstage Photo at Jimmy Kimmel

Editor — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 02:28:39 +0000

I had lunch with Sean Stephenson Saturday morning in Chicago. He’s quite a cool guy. Very inspirational and I’ll be doing an interview with him very soon. Here is a photo of him backstage. If you haven’t seen the video, Sean was featured on Jimmy Kimmel last Thursday. He also has released a magazine called Inner Game Magazine.

Top row from left to right: David DeAngelo, John Costello Sr.,
Liz Peters (IGM Editor), Shawn Royster, Gregg Stephenson (My Dad).

Center row: Zan Perrion (IGM Cover Story), John Costello Jr.,
Jimmy Kimmel, Craig

Bottom row: Bryn Freedman (E.P. of my TV show),
Alex Allman (IGM Cover Story), Andrea Albright,
Tiamo (World Famous Musician)

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Approach Anxiety II by Paul Janka

Editor — Sun, 25 May 2008 22:57:50 +0000

Three Part Series on Approach Anxiety by Paul Janka
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Most men get anxious at the prospect of approaching an attractive woman because they don’t know what to expect. That is due to a lack of experience. As you get more comfortable approaching people, you will start to appreciate how similar women are, and you’ll develop standard ways to overcome their objections or make them laugh by teasing them or engaging them in an unusual manner. And, more generally, you’ll develop an ease and comfort with other people – even strangers – that will translate nicely into a confidence that women find irresistible.

Perhaps you’ve heard some of the advice out there in the dating and seduction community – things like the 3-second rule and approaching with high energy. Those are valid techniques. But, of course, both can fail: what if you can’t get to her in three seconds for some reason? What if you’re in a subdued environment that makes a “high energy” approach weird?

In general, I think it makes sense to approach a woman immediately upon seeing her to avoid a mental “psyche-out” or so you can act before the situation changes, making her less accessible. Of course, I’ve often observed a woman for a time only to see her boyfriend emerge from a bathroom or come through the door. There’s no harm in ever approaching a single woman, however, because how were you supposed to know? Also, I think that if a shy guy needs to boost his confidence by invoking a “high energy” state, that can possibly work. However, it may just amplify his nervousness, making the situation even more awkward. Or, his efforts may seem so forced or desperate that the woman is turned off. Experiment with these and other techniques that the “seduction guys” promote.

As a man who’s slept with many dozen women and approached thousands, I’ll tell you there’s only one certain method of eliminating approach anxiety: volume. Human beings are learning organisms and we learn to adapt to situations if we’re given repeated attempts at a task. It’s no different here. If you can handle some rebuffs (perhaps many) you’ll eventually learn the subtleties of what works and what doesn’t. Eventually, interacting with a beautiful woman will become your duty and very natural. That’s not to say all will yield to your charm, but you’ll feel entitled to and compelled to approach attractive women.

A final tip: a mental “psyche up” can get you in front of her – “I know I can! I know I can!” – but that’s just the beginning. If your natural state isn’t “charming, flirty” then you’ll slide back to your default personality. And, the only way to develop the personality that attracts women is to really develop it, by putting in the miles, with many women. So get out there and start saying “hi” to women, incorporating the techniques you’re reading about. I’ll tell you this: twenty cold approaches to women will teach you more than most dating books ever could.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Approach Anxiety I by Paul Janka

Editor — Fri, 23 May 2008 23:04:36 +0000

Three Part Series on Approach Anxiety by Paul Janka
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Well… Let’s see. I guess we should start at the beginning, at that first step that hangs up a lot of guys: approach anxiety. It’s certainly a valid starting point and every guy can relate to seeing that hot girl walk by and feeling the tug, but doing nothing. Chances are if you don’t initiate contact she’ll slip forever out of your reach. So, it becomes the single most important part of the process because without it, you’re not even in the game with her.

I’ve lived in NYC for exactly 6 years, and in that time my game has developed remarkably. I’ve approached thousands of girls in every environment conceivable (subway, café, bookstore, grocery, bus, movie theater, etc.) and under all kinds of conditions (groups, solo, rain, shine, wind, snow, indoor/outdoor, etc.) I’ve made notes on what works and what doesn’t. In fact, I’ve written a guide, The Attraction Formula which details all aspects of meeting and sleeping with attractive women. New York City has been a tremendous training ground for me and has allowed me to hone my skills in America’s top singles’ city.

In fact, my techniques and approaches have been so successful that several national TV shows have hosted me, allowing me to teach others the skills needed to meet beautiful women. Using hidden cameras, Dr. Phil captured me on the streets of New York picking-up girls; later, Dr. Phil had me coach a novice to be more effective with women. I was also on The Today Show as New York’s resident Casanova and I was featured on FOX News as a one of the city’s most eligible bachelors. The publicity has extended beyond television; in an article in Psychology Today they probed my methods to learn more about what goes on Inside the Mind of a Casanova.

This is not theoretical mumbo-jumbo. What I’m telling you here works, because I’ve done it and I still use it on the street today. A lot goes into the charm and confidence that’s necessary to get a woman’s attention, but I’ll focus here on how to overcome anxiety and what to say in those first few seconds – the make it or break it phase. Confidence comes from experience and knowledge, two things you’ll accumulate as you work your game. I detail a lot of this in Attraction Formula and I’m not going to repeat it here. I will, however, give you a few pointers that can help you up the learning curve faster. Assuming you are ready to walk out and approach girls for their phone numbers, you should keep in mind a few things.

First of all, remembering a bunch of subliminal body language indicators and NLP techniques is burdensome. I always laugh at all those flow charts and acronyms the other “gurus” use when they teach. How do they expect a guy – who is already nervous on his approach – to keep all these confusing instructions in his head? On the other hand, it’s not very useful to say, “Be natural,” and hope the guy is good at rapping. There is a better way, and I’m about to explain it.

I’ve never heard of a real player using a “canned” line. I, myself, do fall back on rather dull “openers” when I’m lazy, but they result in pick-ups of which I’m not especially proud. Nor do they make for good stories. The best pick-ups come when I use original, situational opening lines. And here’s the trick: my mind is at ease to generate these humorous openers because I’m relaxed and confident – there’s no fear or anxiety cluttering my creative channels.

Read my review of Paul Janka‘s new book Attraction Formula.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Too Many Gurus Spoil The Game

Editor — Sun, 18 May 2008 18:38:31 +0000

The new pickup artist forum has been getting a lot of interaction, if you haven’t yet signed up, sign up here.

Some forum guys and I got into a discussion about our stories and where we came from.

4nim4te touched on an important concept:

At this point I’ve been reading a lot as well, without practicing, but lately I’m approaching more and also getting approached by girls. Anyway, field practice is gonna be the way, I think I’m gonna get my mail inbox overflow without reading

I responded with the following:

And personally… running this blog about 2 years ago, my game REALLY hurt. You’d think with getting all the information from the community would be the best thing for game? Wrong.

I knew SO MUCH THEORY that I didn’t have time to practice everything I learned, so it just became a mindscrew. When approaching a girl I would become paralyzed because I had SO MANY TECHNIQUES in my head. Learn from my experience with it. Focus on two gurus per SKILLSET.

For example: READ THE REST ON THE FORUM

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Crush In High School and My Email Back

Editor — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:29:31 +0000

I received this troubling email from a reader today:

I have a crush on this girl at my school. Once I told her that I have feelings for her, she immediately cut off all communication with me and to this day she refuses to speak with me at all(it’s been a week), and their is no way in hell I am letting her go.

My email back?

Thanks for your email. You probably should.

That sounds a little harsh, but here is my reasoning for such an short answer: When you get “oneitis” you become less attractive when the girl doesn’t reciprocate. This only damages yourself, feeding an addiction and fantasy that will most likely never come to pass, unless you DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Countless emails have piled in my inbox sent by guys in a similar situation that have SINCE moved on and look back in retrospect and are AMAZED at how irrational and weak they were. These guys also tell me how they’ve dated numerous attractive girls AFTER GETTING THEIR GAME TOGETHER and feel great. Some have even bumped into their “oneitis” girl since. Often times, this girl is BLOWN AWAY at the new man they became.

So my advice again is FORGET HER, IMPROVE YOUR SKILLS AND SELF, MOVE ON and REAP THE FUTURE REWARDS.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

The Attachment (David Wygant)

David Wygant — Fri, 09 May 2008 05:02:41 +0000

I’ve have an extra bonus for you guys today. A free MP3 on how to stay in the moment and should be helpful to those guys looking to get off routines. You can get the MP3 at the new Seduction Chronicles Forum by clicking here. Donovan’s asked me to comment on there, so I’ve registered and waiting for you guys to signup and start the discussions!

Onto my regular column:

Recently Khiem and I were on the hike that we take a couple of times a week and we were waiting for Daphne to do her business. For some reason or other, Daphne cannot go to the bathroom unless there is grass.

So we’re walking very slowly, and Daphne stops suddenly and starts looking. We’re just talking and when Daphne stops, Khiem stops too, and he’s just looking. And so then I stop, and I start looking.

And all of a sudden, walking down the hill away from us, we see this incredibly sexy woman.

Now we could do the typical guy thing and chase her, which you know is something I am NOT a proponent of, or we could just say, wrong time, wrong place – that’s a missed opportunity.

So I decided to go for the latter of the options, because I’m not going to chase. But as we watched her walk into the distance, we all wondered: what if?

What if our paths crossed? What was she like? What does she look like from the front? From the back, she certainly looked great. She had a black Labrador Retriever, just like Daphne. What a cute couple the five of us would make – Khiem, Daphne, her dog, and us.

How much more fun could that be? Afternoon hikes, sunset walks – my mind was wandering, the deep romantic that I am. As it wandered, I wondered: what if?

As you all know from the blog, I’m not about what ifs. So this fantasy part of the blog is all wrong!

So here’s what really happened after we saw her:

Coming back from our hike, we saw her again, and she had the dreaded attachment. She had the computer virus.

You know that file that you get in your inbox, and it comes from somebody saying you either won the lottery in Egypt or somebody in Africa needs to deposit $10 million into your bank account? And it always comes with an attachment that they want you to open to make sure that your contact information is correct.

You know that if you open that attachment, you’re going to let a nasty virus into your computer (that is, of course, unless you own a Mac – I do, and I don’t have to worry about viruses. I just worry about the wheel of death coming up once in awhile and not letting me do anything!)

But here she was, walking towards us again, and she had the dreaded virus: the attachment. She came with a file. When we first saw her, we failed to notice – as her ass was bouncing down the trail – the dude that must have been 50 yards in front of her!

So when we saw her the second time around, there they were: a couple. Our dream girl was already attached; she had already found her dream boy.

So what is the moral of this story today?

The moral is: who gives a shit? It doesn’t matter! What did we do in this situation, and what did we do to capitalize it?

We still talked to her, and we talked to him. We had a great conversation, and found out the name of her dog – which was Lucy, by the way – and just spent some time talking with two cool strangers.

You know what most guys and women do? When other people see the dreaded attachment, they immediately delete the email! They throw that attachment in the SPAM box so quickly that they don’t ever have to deal with it again.

But, here’s the issue: that email has friends, and the next time you see her hiking, she might be with a cute single friend. And because you deleted the attachment the first time, by acting like an asshole and not saying hello or engaging her in conversation, the woman won’t remember you.

The next time she comes with that hot attachment – you know the one that your friend sends you with a message not to open it at work? – if you’ve been a nice guy and given her a great conversation the first time you met her (when she was with her male attachment) then she’ll remember you the second time. She’ll remember you as the cool guy that engaged her with her boyfriend.

And guess what? You’ve now got a warm lead! Her hot, sexy friend – the attachment you shouldn’t open at work – is now yours to have!

So next time, look at things a little differently!

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

Alpha Man Confidence with Carlos Xuma (Video)

Editor — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:36:21 +0000

I liked this video from Carlos Xuma. Carlos says:

I have a new video podcast on confidence and inner game that I want you to see.

I talk about an important realization about confidence that you need to know about if you want to really make your game with women bulletproof.

(And I’m even going to give you the key to happiness in your life as a little bonus…

Yes, it’s a big one, and I want you to hear this message. I’ll tell you how to push yourself away from your negative thinking…

I’ll even tell you how your natural feelings and emotions are holding you back from getting women into your life…

And what is stopping you from enjoying your life right this second.

After watching the video, check out Carlos Xuma Alpha Confidence programs. Really great material for inner game.

As a gift for subscribing to the RSS, download my ~~$6.95~~ Blueprint To Inner Game Success for free.
Seduction Chronicles Quick Links: VH1 Pickup Artist, David DeAngelo, Neil Strauss, Ross Jeffries, Paul Janka, Double Your Dating, Mystery Method, Real Social Dynamics, Wayne Elise

How Not To Be “Friend Material” (Kezia Column)

Kezia — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:25:23 +0000

You’re talking away; making her laugh, and also making some great connections with her too! More than once, she has grabbed your arm; she’s even pushed her body close to yours a number of times. The I.O.Is here are major. It’s a no brainer, she’s yours for the taking.

Or is she?

When it comes to number close, she may be more than happy to give you her number, but when you arrange a date; I wonder if she will turn up in a sexy plunge neck dress or a casual loose fitting t-shirt. I wonder if she even bothers to wear make up for you. So in this case, the date you thought you were going on is probably not, in her eyes, a date at all. Why?

Because you became the dreaded…. (Dramatic drum roll please)

“MALE FRIEND”

We will look at the following:

How did this happen?

What are those tell tale signs that show you she sees you only as friend potential.
How to prevent this from happening!

How on earth did you get in to this mess?

Simple. Lets break this down; on one hand you have a been a brilliant conversationalist, you have made some deep connections with her, and so she feels you really understand her, not just as a woman but as a human being as well. You’re also unbelievably funny, and have had her laughing hard countless times through out the interaction.

As a result of all these great accomplishments she feels she can relax, let down her guard and really be herself in front of you. Here is where a key problem lies. It obviously beneficial for you to make sure she’s relaxed, however it is not beneficial to her so relaxed that she feels she can show you all her flaws, whats happened here is she is now so totally in her comfort zone that she feels no need to make any effort to impress you.

Next, what is missing here is a vital ingredient. You have not initiated any sexual tension in to the conversation. This would be a lot easier to do if you had made sure you were in higher status than her. But unfortunately what has happened in this situation is that you have made levels of status equal (better than your status level being lower of course) but this can lead to friendship, as friendships are usually based on equality of the relationship.

Signs that she is seeing you as potential friend material

She talks about her ex-boyfriend

She talks too much about other men
She is not caring how she is coming across general
She tells you too many of her private problems such as;

Medical

Ex boyfriends
Problems at work
Problems with her friends
Periods

(Remember you’re not an agony aunt!)

She’s not asking you too many questions about your self

She’s shows barely any, or no, reaction to your touches

She keeps describing you as “so sweet” or “adorable” or says things such as “oh how cute” when you say something. Any puppy dog terminology is usually not a good thing.

She is not bothered if you show any interest in other woman.

She is happy to leave you with her friends as she goes off temporarily to attend to other matters.

If you give her any criticism she will laugh.

She’s happy to tell you her opinions on everything whether you like it or not.

How you can prevent all this.

If you regularly have this problem then my suggestion to you is to nip it in the bud!

From as early as the first second to the first 10 minutes introduce at least a hint of sexual element in to the interaction.

There is no problem in letting a girl know you think she’s hot, as long as you execute it with a serious and matter of fact expression. Don’t make a big deal about saying “wow, you look hot” and don’t wait for her reaction. Instead hold her gaze and then move on casually to the next subject as if you are totally in control and fully aware of your alpha like comment.

Remember, she has to start earning any more compliments.

This will also destroy completely the chance of you becoming her friend; she will subconsciously cross out that avenue. So now its whether she likes you in that way or not. (2 option rather than 3)

What you do if she begins to show any of the above signs

Lets take, for example, her bringing up the ex-boyfriend. Make it clear to her that although it’s an interesting subject and one you can see she feels deeply about, perhaps it’s best if she discussed it with her girlfriends and not you.

If she begins to show little or no care on how she is coming across, for instance getting to much in her comfort zone. Keep giving her small tasks and let her know that your standards are very high on how a lady should behave. For instance if vulgarities something you find unattractive (and is usually, by the way, a sign the woman is seeing you as a fellow party pal) then let her know how she’s let you down, by pointing out the fact they you thought she was different from the woman in here and that it was her elegance that made you talk to her in the first place.
Watch how she straightens her back and tucks her bra strap back in to position faster than you can imagine.

If she leaves you with her friends and wanders off, this is a bad sign, it means she couldn’t care less if they make a move on you or you make a move on them.

Counteract this by firstly introducing your friends to her friends, which will make her feel left out. And on her return, punish her by making a phone call as soon as she sits down, go off with your phone call and leave her friends talking with your friends as she sits there bored and feeling left out, she will begin to miss you and might value your company a little more.

Note:

Please remember women love to please men. We enjoy looking good for you guys; in fact it’s a bit of obsession.

Look in any woman’s magazines and see what percentage of the articles is dedicated to pleasing men, whether it is through; makeup, dieting, fashion or cooking. Once we feel there’s no need to please you, it’s as if the fun is over, for girls as well as guys the chase is can be better than the catch.

Remember; take control of the situation, if you become “friendship material” then you have yourself to blame, you can manipulate the conversation whenever you choose, you can inject sexual tension whenever you decide. The only reason you became friend material would have been because you allowed her to feel so relaxed that she had little or no work to do at all.

By all means make sure she is relaxed, but take advantage when someone is in a relaxed state of mind. Remember the power of suggestion will be come much more powerful when in that state. Do this rather than allow her to feel you are simply another shoulder to cry on, or part time doctor she can reveal gross medical problems to, or a psychiatrist where she can discuss her ex-boyfriends commitment problems he might have had.

You have plenty of friends, you don need another right? Unless of course you see her as friend material in that case go right ahead and discuss her periods and ex-boyfriends with her!

Have you read the manual that Kezia teaches from? Check out our detailed review of PUATraining’s Natural Game Home Study System.

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