Most men HATE the idea of “rejection”. I’m not talking about “don’t like the idea” or “wish it didn’t happen”… I’m talking HATE here.

The idea of walking up to a woman and having her REJECT you causes most men to instantly feel sick in the pit of their stomachs and literally feel a horrible combination of nervousness and confusion.

A guy can psych himself up for an hour to go talk to a woman, but when the moment comes to actually DO IT, EVERYTHING changes. The heart rate shoots up, breathing quickens, eyes dart back and forth, thoughts of rejection fill the mind, and eventually the pressure becomes too much to bare.

Most men find this state so scary that they end up deciding to forget about approaching the women… just to end the discomfort. The temptation is great to just “walk away” because just as quickly as the intense nervousness is triggered by the moment one decides to ACT, it goes away when you decide to “forget about it and walk away”.

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What is the perfect picture mentality? On a Friday night, we go out with these amazing expectations of what is going to occur.

We think, this is the night; this is the party or whatever thing we’re meant to go to. We have this perfect idea of how the night should turn out.

You’re going to talk to the woman who had that college sweatshirt on two weeks ago, because you finally have figured out something to say to her. But then she walks in wearing a different sweatshirt, and you don’t have anything to say.

We have this perfect picture of the way things are going to be. And then once we arrive, the night progresses and reality begins to set in. When reality sets in, all of a sudden that perfect picture just disappears.

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You want to have the ultimate mindset. It’s just like we were talking about– we were just discussing owning your own business, and sales – come January 1st, if you own your own business, you always feel like you are broke. In sales, you feel the same way.

You feel like you have to get that first deal of the year. You have to compare yourself to the previous year, and you want to continually improve your statistics. You’re competitive, you want to make more money, and you want to be more successful than you were the previous year.

We all do it – I do it too. I’ve done some really cheap things, like holding checks for the month of December, and then sticking them in the bank January 1st so I feel like I’ve made more money. You’re still paying the same amount of taxes on it, it doesn’t really make a difference, but this way you wake up on January 2nd, thinking, yeah, I’ve got all this cash in the bank already!

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I want to share a personal story with all of you today. You know that I rarely talk about my personal life on the blog – it’s not really that I don’t want to share it with 10,000 people every day – it’s just that personal life is personal!

I just don’t like to put my personal life out there. I’ve never been a kiss-and-tell kind of guy.

But I want to talk today about not caring. So many of you care too much and I’m getting WAY too many emails about how much you care about this one person who blew you off.
I’ve written about this several times, but for some reason or another, I just feel the urge to write about it again. I find that many of you put all of your eggs in one basket and you just care TOO MUCH.

About 2 months ago I went out with a new woman I had met. I’d say that the first hour of the date was mediocre at best. It just wasn’t really that much fun. But the second hour of the date was much more interesting and I actually became quite intrigued by her as the second hour progressed.

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“Live the life you love. Love the life you live.”

These are the exact words on the charm on my dog’s collar. It’s interesting that a five year-old black Labrador can be walking around with a statement that most people don’t follow.

Think for a second. You are trying to attract (note that the key word here is “attract”) a member of the opposite sex for you to date. Most people don’t understand the art of attraction, and they spend their nights chasing the opposite sex in places that they’re not having fun.

Let’s go deeper into this. What makes you think that if you go out on a Friday or Saturday night, that you are going to meet somebody . . . especially if you have never really met somebody interesting before on a Friday or Saturday night?

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Most men get anxious at the prospect of approaching an attractive woman because they don’t know what to expect. That is due to a lack of experience. As you get more comfortable approaching people, you will start to appreciate how similar women are, and you’ll develop standard ways to overcome their objections or make them laugh by teasing them or engaging them in an unusual manner. And, more generally, you’ll develop an ease and comfort with other people – even strangers – that will translate nicely into a confidence that women find irresistible.

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