There are 3 types of girls around: yes, no and maybe girls.

Again, the effective hustlers know how to judge the three types and work accordingly. All guys know the “no” girls. They are sticks in the mud, stand-offish, difficult, Princesses. Any guy who has been laid several times knows this type of girl. He probably has a gut instinct that she’s going to be hard to get in the sack.

“Yes” girls, by contrast, are flirty, fun, open with body language and game for anything. They allow you to ask them back to your place with ease. The problems are the “maybe” girls, especially if they are hot. Even after years of practice, I still can get stuck on these types, but as soon as I recognize the direction we’re going I can make the call.

The “maybe” girls are where most guys get hung up spending all their money and time, thinking that they will get her. Careful, gentlemen, you are dealing with pros. Even other women will admit how manipulative a woman can be. Don’t assume you’ll wear here down or trick her.

It’s better to walk than to throw more energy at these problem girls. So, back to the system. Prior to recognizing how effective a system for getting laid could be, I would take my opportunities where they presented themselves: poolside at a wedding, on the Chinatown bus between Boston and NYC, in a cab, in Central Park. Don’t get me wrong, there is not a wrong place to take a woman. But if you want to get laid with a minimum of time, energy, hassle, bullshit, and most importantly, cost, then you should work out an effective system.

Think about it. All other business enterprises have a system to deliver a good or service: Starbucks coffee is fresh, hot and strong because of the system and protocol the baristas follow. Any successful business must follow a blueprint if it hopes to achieve significant results; the same applies to shagging women, believe it or not. Do not leave your sex life up to chance – what women often call “romance”. Take charge of it. So, we have this large market of single men and women. A city like NY is ideal, because it’s concentrated, and there are so many people and the city is sexy and anonymous. By the way, anonymity is key because as a hustler, I try (as I encourage you to) all types of new methods and approaches; some work, some work brilliantly, but alas, some fail and fall flat. In this city, who cares, because chances are you won’t see the person again, and even if you do, by that time you’ll be a confident playboy and who cares what one stupid bitch thinks, anyhow.

So, it’s a market, and there are plenty of girls for everyone. Also, to us they may be hot and sexy, but to themselves and other girls, they are just competition, and have their own un-sexy habits like farting, burping, bad breath, fat thighs etc. Don’t fall for women’s façade. It’s been my experience that women are heavily front-loaded in what they can offer – their value-proposition. She may look fit, sexy and sophisticated, but after you’ve banged her and she’s naked, with mascara running down her face and she’s trying to stuff her thighs into a pair of too small jeans at 2am, you’ll realize she’s just another person trying to get by.

Don’t be intimidated.

Read more from Paul Janka by getting his system Attraction Formula by clicking here.

A student, the other week, asked my advice on what he should have done in a certain situation, which happened to him the previous night. He went to a club which had a really hot looking woman, with two particular women dancing on the floor doing a “light” lesbian dance routine.

You know the ones, where they aren’t really lesbians, and think its amusing that all the guys will notice them and want them, rather than the other hot girls in the room. Anyway, they kept looking over at him, and gave strong eye contact as they danced provocatively together in the middle of the room,(the student in my opinion is a good looking guy, which is why they were probably giving him eye contact) he said he did not know how to handle the situation, and just left it, with that “what if?” frame of mind for the rest of the night.

I thought this was an interesting challenge and as I relish a challenge I looked in to it and came up with the females perspective of what he should have done and what he should not do.

Firstly I know loads of girls who do this, and why they say they do it and most importantly why they really do it.

These girls are not sex hungry vixens as they usually want you to imagine them to be, they usually are just what is known as an extrovert, they enjoy attention, they enjoy an ego boost and they like to “out do” rivals. The very fact they have seen other woman as rivals shows insecurity, this is the first point I want to address. If any one is insecure then they usually have a need to make themselves feel better, and its very common amongst insecure females to feel validated by male attention. We get it from female validation i.e. another woman saying to us that we have lost weight or our clothes/hair /makeup/looks lovely etc, but sometimes we need it from making a guy feel horny!

So whilst watching this fabulous display of fake lipstick lesbianism, keep that in mind! This might destroy the illusion a bit, but none the less, it will increase your chances of the final outcome, which is actually getting one or both of them at the end of the night (or at least a number)

I asked my student what the other men’s reaction was in the club to this. He told me not much to my surprise, either standing there drooling or trying to jump in and chat to them, about their names and showering them with compliments, a few alpha men were trying to step in and dance with them, only to be cast aside when the girls had got their required ego boost from him.

Being aware of what the majority are doing in any situation is vital; this is where impact comes in to play. You never want to go with the majority in this situation, even if it feels like the only option.

What he should have done

Now he knows the psychology behind why they are doing this, he will not get caught up in “the moment” of it all, he will be standing outside the illusion and observing as a spectator, but unlike the other guys in the room, not a horny one.

Go close to them when they are giving eye contact, but don’t start swaying to the music or sipping your drink excessively, just look at them with an appreciative smile.

Make the initial interaction when the songs changes, this always gives the dancer a moment break to adjust to the rhythm. it really is about 4- 10 seconds so act quick, lean in to one of them, and say.

“Thanks” They will look at you quizzically, they might react with “what for” they might not.

Tell them your friend/ex girlfriend what ever you decide called Candy or whatever name you choose (try and pick something a little out of the norm) was/is a dancer at (name a famous strip club) and that these 2 are just as good as her, but whilst she was doing it for hundreds of dollars a night they were doing it for free, and that’s great! So thank you!

This instantly will make them feel a little unworthy as whilst girls are being paid lots of money for this routine, they are standing there doing it for free.

You can also say

“Put a little more effort in to it, make more eye contact with each other rather than the guys, it will seem more real, other than your doing great”

Or

“If I ask the dj to play Ghostbusters will you be able to still be as sexy, that would be cool if you did” (little bit of humour, and a task)

Or

“ I bet when you guys go home you put on your slippers and make a mug of cocoa and watch reruns of Frasier” (humour again an assumption)

Or

“ Do you think if I did a fake gay dance with another guy it would make more impact, I bet it would? No offence but 2 guys dancing together in a straight club would be more shocking don’t you think?” (This is drawing the conversation to you rather than them, and also again a little bit of humour)

If your feeling really alpha, then step in between both and take over, by dancing with one and talking to the other over your shoulder, and telling her she should dance more like this, (do your moves) then remove yourself, and lead the other girl back to position, and fold your arms and say “now try again like that” (with a smile on your face)

All these will make you stand out from the other guys who are saying
“Oh wow you girls look hot’”
“ So…hey…whats your name?”

Or the ones, who try to join in by simply swaying behind one of them,

What you would be doing is getting your self right in the middle and ordering them about, and then leaving out of your own accord, not because they pushed you out.

The other openers I gave were all negs; but negs with some constructive criticism, that also leave enough room for them to respond. Note also; that the negatives I gave were not aggressive, (men tend to come across a little aggressive with their negs when sexually aroused but not able to do anything about it). Be cheekier, if possible, rather than rude, this will make you stand out from the crowd, and increase your chances of them wanting to know you a bit more. They know that it will take more to get you turned on, and you will be one of the few, or the only man, in the room they did not get validation from; making them desire your validation more than the other guys.

Remember, you have to act as if you have seen this kind of performance loads of time, try and give them the impression that the girl who wants to be a slut/porn star on the surface is usually, when it comes down to it, quite inhibited. Unlike the quiet/shy ones who usually prove to be a little more, shall we say; experimental in the bedroom?

Note: I realise that my blogs are centred around fairly egotistical/alpha/sexually provocative woman with insecure cores, but to be fair, these are the type of girls in the club/bar /party that guys feel most intimidated by.

I will go on to discuss pick up with the more secure and emotionally stable woman soon, but whoever the girl is you still must stick to the three vital elements of pick up; which I will discuss in my next blog.

Check out more of what I teach over at PUATraining.

Neil Strauss recently said this and it goes along with my post about peacocking done right.

I recently saw a heavily peacocked guy at a bar who thought he was a ladies man. Women laughed at his jokes and allowed him to have his hands all over them. However, what he didn’t realize was that these women were humoring him. They were being nice because they felt sorry for him, then they’d quickly and politely extricate themselves.

What he was missing was something called calibration, which most of you read about on Day 28 of Rules of The Game. However, there’s something I’d like to add to that: measure yourself by your RESULTS. If you go out and you’re surrounded by women, yet you still sleep alone every night, it’s time to examine your behavior and figure out what you’re doing wrong.

Maybe you come across as the party guy, and no one takes you seriously. Maybe you’re too touchy-feely and creeping them out.
Maybe they see you as a safe friend or someone to be used. Maybe you come off as lonely or weird, and they’re trying not to be rude. Or maybe they even see you as a player, but to such a degree that they just don’t trust you.

Think about it. Ask your friends. And don’t be afraid to ask the women. Make sure you evaluate everything they say, and don’t take it personally. If everyone is saying the same thing, don’t disregard it – give it serious consideration.

This probably only applies to about one percent of you reading this – but you all definitely know someone like this. So help him out with a serious, non-judgmental, constructive talk and in-field lesson. What I did with this guy, when he didn’t believe me, was approach the women he thought he had attracted, and convince them to tell him the truth for his own good – telling them things like, “He’s going to be single for the rest of his life if you don’t help him out right now. You can be like the Millionaire Matchmaker.”

This is a guest post by Roosh V, whose blog I’ve started to sponsor. Definitely check his writings out if you’re in the DC area or like women.

Roosh in Brazil

The assumption guys make about girls is that they all respond the same, that game is game and things should work regardless of where the girl is from. I made this mistake and exported my push-pull, cocky and funny, and indirect game to Argentina with poor results. Here are some things I learned…

1. Do your research. Before you board the plane, ask your wingmen if they’ve had experiences with girls from that country. And when you arrive, make friends with the local guys and ask them for their opinions on the girls. One of my best friends is Russian and I can tell you that Russian girls will appear cold and distant when you first approach them but you should push on anyway.

2. Adapt quickly. On a two week vacation, you simply don’t have the time to learn a new game, but you do have time to make easy adjustments that affect how the locals respond to you. For example in Peru, the more you look like a gringo (think Abercrombie & Fitch), the better you’ll do with the girls in the club, so leave the soccer jersey at home. In Argentina the kiss is a big deal, so you delay your kiss attempt longer than usual without getting frustrated when things are moving along slower than normal.

3. Approach in massive numbers. The big myth of traveling is that you will get more abroad than you do at home, but there are so many obstacles (no cell phone, no pad, no wingmen, language barrier, lack of venue knowledge, and so on), that the only way to make up for them is to approach a lot more than you normally do. With many girls closed off to having sex with a gringo who is only in town for a weekend, sometimes you need to keep going until you find a girl who doesn’t mind and speaks your language. It takes a lot more energy than you are used to.

4. Western girls are easiest. American, English, Irish, and Australian girls are the easiest in the world. There are some exception (Brazilian girls are not difficult), but keep in mind you may need to put in more time with a local. American girls are so easy that I missed them in in Argentina while approaching the most beautiful (and difficult) girls I’ve ever met in my life.

5. Take it easy on the alcohol. While at home you’re mostly on auto-pilot, at a bar you know with wingmen you trust, but when you’re abroad you need to be full of energy and more mindful about what you are doing. It’s far better to pound Red Bull than beer.

If you can get laid with pretty girls who barely speak your language then there aren’t many challenges you can’t face. The last tip I can give you is simply to be fun: when you can’t talk with words, all the girl is going by is your positive energy and vibe. Sometimes all you’ll need to do is be the life of the party.

***MAILBAG QUESTION***

Hey Dave! Ok, so after all these hundreds of e-mails and testimonials you get, you KNOW this cocky+funny works, but I must say I’m happy that I FEEL I’m starting to get it. I had your ebook and cd series for a few months and I listened to the cds and read the book over and over. It was great but I guess its obvious you dont see success until you get out there and practice it and SEE how it works. At first, it simply made no sense… I tried it and didnt get much response until I developed the character for it and made it apart of me. Cocky+funny isnt something you try out, its something you have to make a part of you! When you do that, c+f comes natural and makes conversations so much more fun! Not only that it creates that attraction you talk about so much! So, like I said, having the right MINDSET is whats important,not learning LINES, but here’s a few I like. And I could use some of these when I feel the conversation is drying up. “Hey…….quit looking at my ass! I know you want to jump my bones but slow down!” (even if she wasnt doing that) (when a woman gets quiet or there’s a break in the conversation) “I know I make you nervous and all but please…try to control yourself!” Here’s one question I like to ask: Me: So do you cook…well? Her: Yes, I do. Me: Great, since you know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, you can cook me dinner. I want….(fill in whatever you want her to cook!) “You couldnt handle this…” (that one alone works well) (if you catch her looking at you…or even if you dont) “I saw that…I know you keep looking at my sexy bod and you want it so bad you’re drooling, but cant we be friends first?” “Are you shy or something? Why havent you asked me out yet (or asked for my phone number)? I know you’re afraid I’ll seduce you and make you fall madly in love with me but you’ll just have to learn to handle it!” “Tsk tsk tsk…you should be ashamed of yourself.” She says: “Why?” “For trying to seduce/pickup a guy like me! I know you want me but be patient!” (when she does something I dont like) “Well, its just not workin between us. I’m going to have to cut off the sex, the kisses, the cuddling, all of it until you be a good girl!” Most of my C+F focuses on assuming she wants you and is trying to pick up on you, even if she doesnt! (well, personally I believe all women want me for my sexy bod and usually when I use the techniques, they DO!) I think what surprised me the most is that these work with women I JUST MET! I thought I’d find it easier to learn C+F from an angle…some like to bust on women’s looks, her clothes, etc…but I took the approach of accusing her of being obssessed with me…it works! I also find it
effective to turn around some common things men do for women…like I tell women to buy ME dinner, buy ME gifts, take ME out, pick ME up, etc. I love it! I have so much more fun now and there’s no fear in talking to women anymore… its great. I know you dont like relationship questions but I’m going to ask anyhow. Is it necessary to tone down the cocky+funny when you two become boyfriend/girlfriend? (not cut it off completely, but tone it down) And second, how do you respond when women start challenging you back? (her saying: “you couldnt handle this” for example) I know you shouldnt turn wussy but I dont have a good response to her turning it on me…which I like the challenge of it but I’d like to know some good comebacks.
Thanks a million Dave! GT from Tennessee

DAVID DEANGELO‘S COMMENTS:

Nice!

Those are some GREAT “one-liners” you shared. Some are personal favorites of mine… and some WILL BE SOON. I really dig the whole “You couldn’t handle this” concept. I personally love to say, “We’d fight all the time… and I’D WIN”. That’s a big winner. Try it out… I also love the idea of using gender stereotypes, turning gender stereotypes around, using them as comedy, etc…

You can combine this idea with a “setup”- starting out sounding like a Wussy, then going in a completely different direction right at the end for effect. Example: You say to a really attractive, interesting woman something like, “You know, you really seem like a smart woman… you’re obviously more intelligent than the average girl…” Then you say, “And since you probably understand men better than most women, you’ve probably already realized that you being a woman, and me being a challenging man, YOU WOULDN’T HANDLE THIS!” Ohhh, I love that kind of thing! The magic of a setup like that one is that she BEGINS to think that you’re a Wussbag from hell, but when you get to the end of what you’re saying, she realizes that you were saying something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

What you were REALLY saying is, “I understand that most guys act like Wussies and give you compliments, but the fact is that any compliment I give you is sarcasm, and, in fact, you really couldn’t handle me… because you didn’t even see THAT coming!

So, what is it about this kind of approach and humor that makes it SOOOO special and wonderfully effective?

Answer: It says SO many things at the same time that are all “the right thing”… In other words, instead of trying to demonstrate that you’re not a Wuss, that you’re funny, that you’re smart, that you “get it”, and that you don’t NEED her… you can just use a comment like this one.

Good stuff. Now let’s talk about your questions… You asked if one should “turn down” the Cocky & Funny once you get into a long-term relationship… I personally think NOT. Why would you? If you’ve found something that works, why would you stop doing it? In fact, I’ve seen SOOOO many situations in my life where a guy started out doing all the right things, then after “getting the girl”, and winding up in a long-term relationship, they change what they’re doing, become boring and predictable, and lose the girl because they became dull and lame. As you know, I’m kind of violating one of my rules of thumb, and talking about relationships… but since I’m at it, I’ll make a few more comments…

Have you ever heard things like “relationships take work” and “you have to put a lot into a relationship if you want to get a lot out of it”…? I’m sure you have. MOST guys interpret this to mean that after you get into a relationship you should start doing whatever your girlfriend/wife wants you to, and not argue with her. In other words, most guys think that “put a lot into a relationship” means “turn into SuperWuss and kiss as much ass as possible so you won’t get into trouble”.

I’m sure you can tell just by the way I’m talking that I don’t think this is a particularly smart way to go about things… In fact, if you want to wake up one day in the future with an unhappy, unsatisfied, complaining girlfriend or wife, then start using this particular approach. If a woman “falls for you”, then that MEANS SOMETHING. It means that whatever you were doing at the time WORKED. Now, if you were being Cocky & Funny, then that was working.

So keep it up.

An exception: If you were chasing a woman for ten years, buying her thousands of dollars worth of gifts, flowers, and dinners, and one day she finally “decided that you were good marriage material” and she finally “gave in”… then don’t listen to what I just said.

In fact, if you are in the above situation, you are probably beyond help, so delete this newsletter right now, and don’t read any further. It will only depress you and mess up your “nice” relationship… On to your second question (the one I like best anyway): “How do you respond when women start challenging you back?”

Why do I like this question best?

Because you’re missing something… If you start challenging a woman and teasing her, and she starts challenging you back, IT IS ON!

Game on, dude!

Didn’t you see Top Gun? She just ENGAGED.

Most guys interpret a woman challenging them back as her saying “I don’t find you interesting” or “You don’t impress me”. It’s usually exactly the OPPOSITE. When a woman teases or challenges back it means that she’s INTO IT. She’s saying, “Oh yeah? Bring it on… let’s play!”. On the “surface” she’s saying “You couldn’t handle this”, but on a subtle level she’s saying “I have received your Sexual Communication, and I am transmitting on your frequency… let’s rock and roll”. So, how should you handle it?

Try this formula:

1) Pause.
2) Slowly wrinkle your brow and smile smugly.
3) Pause.
4) Keep looking her in the eye (don’t flinch).
5) Say, “Oh, you think? What, I’d get bored that fast? You’re probably right…”

Are you with me here?

TURN UP THE VOLUME.

The game is now officially ON, so PLAY BALL.

The great thing about a situation like this one is that she is HELPING YOU dial up the chemistry and sexual tension. She is making it MUCH EASIER for you to make her feel ATTRACTION for you. These are the types of situations that often end with “And at the end of the night she suddenly jumped on me and ripped my clothes off…”. I’m not kidding. Not at all.

But if you flinch and let her know that she just disturbed your composure, you are TOAST. It’s all over. This little moment of truth can take things to the next level FAST… or it can end your chances with her INSTANTLY. When a woman challenges you back in a Cocky & Funny way, she has just pressed the accelerator pedal to the floor. She just upped the ante. She pushed all her chips in to see if you’re going to puss out and fold. She’s not wasting any time… she wants to know if you are MAN or BOY. If you casually chuckle to yourself inside andmentally say to yourself “what a cute little bratty girl” and then bust on her, you’ll win. If you get nervous and slip, you’ll lose.

Here’s another insight for you: This kind of woman is the MOST FUN to be around. But she’s also the biggest challenge. She’ll keep testing you over and over and over again… relentlessly. And just when you thought it was safe to pull back to “nice guy”, she’ll be off like a shot. Gone.

Read what I have written to you, grasshopper… and take heed. I have lost many a hottie because I didn’t “get it” when it came down to one of these situations. Learn from my mistakes. Be the guy who casually stands there with one hand behind your back blocking all the punches from your opponent and teasing him for being a Wuss at the same time… Not the guy who’s sweating his ass off and flailing around like a child who’s getting frustrated because his older brother is beating him up…

This is Jedi stuff, man.

Go watch the scene in the original “Matrix” where Neo is in the ring with Morpheus for the first time… watch and listen to what happens. The more you work with this material, the more you’ll begin to have a “sixth sense” about women and the sexual tension that’s created when you use these techniques.

Contributed by Lance Mason and the Pickup101 Team.

Tip #1: Have transportation home planned

Don’t underestimate the power of a designated driver and one empty seat on New Years Eve. I don’t know how it is in your town, but in San Francisco getting a cab on New Years from 2 to 3 a.m. is next to impossible.

Having a ride planned out gives her an easy excuse to ditch her friends and catch a ride with you!

Tip #2: Pick a large venue and stay there

It’s better to go to one big party the whole night then to go to several small parties over the course of the night. As the night progresses, things tend to favor those who have been the most social all night.

Women you flirted with earlier will come back to talk to you. Even the people you haven’t talked to will start to recognize you as one of the more social people in the room.

This helps tremendously, and is all lost if you jump from party to party.

Tip #3: Have a goal in mind

Are you looking to set up a bunch of dates for the New Year, to get a girlfriend, or to just have fun and hook-up for the night? It’s worth mentioning that if you don’t know what you are looking for you won’t know when you have found it.

Tip #4: Countdowns are for wimps!

If you have a girl attracted to you and have been talking to her a while DON’T wait till midnight to get the kiss. If she likes you then practically any line works here. You can look at your watch and say, “Damn, it’s only 10:30!”.

Then pause and say, “I’m not waiting” and go in for the kiss.

You can even (*very* deliberately) set your watch forward (or backwards) to Midnight in front of her, give her an innocent “Oh I guess I’m supposed to kiss you now” look and go in for the kill. All done calmly with a smile, a sense of humor, and a “take it or leave it” attitude.

Once you’ve gotten to that point, keep escalating. Usually I say “Never fully make out in a bar”, but tonight is different.

It’s New Years Eve! Go for it!

Tip #5: Hang out with the cool kids.

No matter what your age, only go out with cool friends who will support your goals.

Remember, women *will* judge you by your friends. If their are people in your life who aren’t quite up to par with you socially, this is the wrong night to spend time with them.

On the other hand, if you can go out with your best ‘wingmen’ definitely do it, it could very well have to do more with your success then where you go.

By the way, I’m not just talking about wingmen here. Other single girl ‘friends’ and couples can help you as much as (or even more then!) your male friends with game.

Tip #6: Don’t overdo the banter!

I affectionately call New Years Eve amateur night.

I don’t mean to disrespect anyone with that statement – I’m just trying to accurately assess what makes meeting girls on this night different. Clearly one of the biggest distinctions is that this is the one night where EVERYONE goes out.

Frankly, many of the people you’ll see out drinking, dancing, and hooking up haven’t been out all year.

And I not just talking about guys either.

Many of the hot women you’ll meet on New Years hardly ever go out. This is especially true with the most successful, most in-demand women since they are often too busy working on their career and their bodies to hit the bar every weekend.

The end result is that many desirable women out on New Years are much less exposed to the attraction techniques we teach.

That means you probably need a lot *less* of your attraction techniques then normal.

Remember, once a woman likes you, you need to move into rapport, escalate things physically, or risk losing her interest.

After all, women want to hook up on New Years as much as we do, and once she likes you she’s thinking “What’s next?” If you answer question with more entertaining stories or harmless flirting she is likely to lose interest.

In this environment whatever skill you have will be much more effective.

Now these women aren’t that easy to spot. Unlike the guys who rarely hit the singles scene, these girls know how to dress, how to socialize, and usually even know how to dance.

So take it easy with the attraction techniques and escalate early, you won’t need as much as you might think.

Tip #7: After you make out with a girl, figure out the logistics ASAP.

If you want to bring a girl home with you, you definitely don’t want to wait too long to broach the subject. If you are going to meet lot’s of resistance, it’s better to know that early on while you can still move on if you choose. If you wait till the end of the night you could miss out.

Find out who she is with, what their plans are, and what commitments she has sooner rather then later. Is she driving anyone home? Is anyone planning on giving her a ride? Is she there with protective friends or relatives that you might have to make a good impression on?

These are all questions I like to get to the bottom of right away after a little new year’s kissing. No waiting required.

The after party is at your house, right?

So all you need to do is say, “Hey, we’re having an after party later, did you guys all come together?” Her answer will give you an early indication of what the chances of her coming back with you are. If you do this early in the night, you are not looking for a “Yes”, just a “maybe” and some more information about what the logistics are.

Tip #8: Keep an eye on your target

I’m a big fan of “takeaways” (also known as giving girls “the gift of missing you”) but I am real careful using these techniques in extremely chaotic environments.

If you’ve found the girl you *really* want, keep an eye on her!

Leave her for a second and you may lose sight of her. Lose sight of her, and she could be lip locked with another guy by the time you find her again.

Trust me even after you’ve met another girl, you’ll still think about the one that got away.

Tip #9: Have fun!

Don’t work so hard on your game and push your goals so much that you forget to have a good time. Being the funnest guy in the room will do more for your night, and your results, then all the other tips combined.

Found this in some archives, and thought it would be great to get this out to the mainstream once more. I had lunch with Craig from Double Your Dating and he KNOWS what game is all about. Many of the underlying principles of Mystery Method and Double Your Dating originally come from him.

Ever since I was on Elimidate people have been hounding me about my dance floor routines, so being the nice guy that I am I decided to type them up. Here you go guys. Enjoy. The dance floor is a huge part of my closing game and I hope this helps you guys out there.

Dance Floor Approaches

When I first started going to clubs I used to see so much action going down on the dance floor that I thought that was where it was at. What I didn’t realize is that most of the people that were making out on the dance floor had met off of the dance floor. Since I didn’t know any better, I put in a ton of effort to learn how to meet girls on the floor, but now I rarely use any of my techniques, since my other methods are more effective.

I’ve found that even the best dance floor approaches have a maximum 75% success rate. No matter what you do, what you look like, or how good of a dancer you are, you can expect to get rejected 25% of the time or more. Compare this to the success rate of going up to a girl at the bar and making her laugh, and it’s a no-brainer. Plus if you get rejected by a girl on the dance floor it lowers your chances of making something happen when you do see her again.

The skills to pull off a dance floor approach will still come into play in certain situations, like loud nightclubs, or a huge party atmosphere. I’m convinced that you can survive off of the dance floor alone on Spring Break Trips or in Las Vegas. This stuff is also great for the guys out there who are meeting girls that are under 21. These approaches are all you need to get the ball rolling with younger women.

The Butt Bump

The Butt Bump is a very innocent opener and definitely has the highest success rate of the dancing approaches. When you are dancing next to the girl you like, stand side by side and start playfully bumping you butt against hers. Sounds easy, and it is. I’ve never done this without the girl cracking a HUGE smile and getting into it. They love it! After the third or fourth bump turn to face her…Hopefully she will do the same, and BAM! You’re dancing! You can also use the Butt Bump when you’re standing next to a girl at the bar to start up a conversation, or to liven things up with a girl you are already dancing with

The Asshole Dance Opener

When I was younger I was very aggressive on the dance floor, and that is how the Asshole Dance Opener came about.

I was really tired of going to clubs and seeing the girls dancing together like lesbians. Most of the time when I would try to squeeze in between the girls would only get closet together and block me. More problems arose when I would try to dance with just one of the girls, because her friend would get jealous and pull her friend away.

My solution is field-tested and has good results if you have the right attitude. Save this technique for a really crowded dance floor. Make your way up to the girls without making any eye contact, and like an asshole motion with your hands for them to spread apart so you can get through. They will back away from each other, roll their eyes and think, “Who does this asshole think he is?” That’s when you show them!

As soon as they spread apart, take one step so you’re in between them, and start groovin like there’s no tomorrow! If you do it right you will soon you will be freaking both girls to the amazement of anyone who’s watching! Turn towards the one you want and let the other one grind on your back. It’s great to be the man!

A more modest approach is to smile at them and say excuse me, yet still look like you are just passing through. Experiment with both and see what works best for you.

I will never forget the night I discovered this move. I was at a club and the dance floor was packed. After a short dance session I decided to grab another drink at the bar. On my way off the floor I saw these two gorgeous girls dancing together getting super freaky. They had a tight circle of guys around them all TRYING to get a piece of the action, with absolutely no luck. I walked up said, “Excuse me”, to the two schmucks closest to me and broke in with Asshole Dance Opener. It was awesome! I had ten chumps cheering me on, wondering how I did it, not to mention two fine girls freaking me from front to back!

Dance Floor Skills – What To Do When You Get There

Dance floor skills are essential to any man’s game, whether you are at a club or at a wedding. If you don’t know how to dance I suggest you watch the movie “Save the Last Dance” and watch how the main character dances. Watch how he is always dancing to the beat and always in control, and practice! The time you spend dancing alone in front of your TV set will pay off, trust me!

One thing that has helped my dance floor skills unexpectedly was a beginning swing-dance course in college. I only remember 3 moves but I use them all of the time! I definitely recommend you take a few classes if you are serious about being the man on the dance floor. It will really help your overall dancing skills, and I’m sure there will be one or two hotties in the class with you that you can practice on. No excuses!

Once you have to basic skills down, I highly recommend taking girls to the dance floor as part of your game. It’s a great way to amp up the attraction.

One of my favorite moves is to say to a girl, “So, do you know how to dance?” If she says “Yes” I say, “Prove it!…Let’s go!” and I take her by the hand and lead her onto the floor.

They say that dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal pleasure, and you will find that there is no better place to turn up the heat then in the middle of the dance floor.

When your getting down it’s only natural to make lots of physical contact. Always remember the Double Your Dating 2 steps forward 1 step back principle. Get close for awhile, then back off and dance a few feet away from her. Then get a little closer for a little longer, then pull away again. This REALLY drives the girls nuts.

If things are getting really hot, you can use the Double Your Dating kiss test. Look in her eyes and take one hand and stroke her hair back right above her ear. If she holds eye contact with you, go in slowly and give her a smooth kiss, then pull away. Say, “Yum…You’re a good kisser!” and give her some more.

I used to go to a bar that would end every night by playing 2 slow songs. I knew exactly what time they shut down, and my routine was to bring a girl out onto the floor right before I knew they were coming up. That way when the slow song came on we were already out there! It was only natural for us to keep grooving to the slow music, and since I had already turned up the heat by grinding during the last few fast songs, it was very easy to start making out right there. I can’t tell you how many women I got at this bar. I recommend finding out which clubs do this and what time they shut down, and incorporating it into your game. It’s a proven winner!

Hi Lance,

I’ve got a question for you.

Background: I’m not familiar with much of your body language material. There is a monthly mailing on the way, but until I get
it, here’s my question:

Say I am in a dance club and I approach two women sitting at a table together. How much “leaning down” do I do? Do I

A) stand to project a more confident image
B) lean down to get close to their faces to facilitate conversation
C) squat so that my head is down at table height, as waiters (and
baseball catchers!) do.

Thanks,
Douglas

*** MY RESPONSE ***

Wow, we had a *lot* of questions on body language, I picked this one to answer since it was short and simple.

First off, let me say that there’s two ways to answer this question, the guidelines we use for training and then there’s the *real* answer.

Let me explain what I mean.

Most guys would tell you to always stand to project a more confident image, and in a way there right.

After all, standing is a safe thing to do – you’re not going to make any of the huge mistakes the most guys would.

If you lean in you risk the chance of coming off like a needy dork by ‘pecking’ your head in at her.

Squatting down is a bit risky too. Some would say you are showing to much interest in her by squatting down. Personally I have done this effectively when I needed to, but I have noticed that, since it’s not a very comfortable position, things get very awkward if I stay there for very long.

So the guideline answer for a guy who is just learning what it feels like to project more confidence with your body is to stand.

On the other hand, the *real* answer is that once you learn to project confidence with your body, you can do any of the above and everything will be fine.

The real answer is that if you are really projecting confidence (which means you are feeling confident as well) you can and, squat,
or even, God forbid, LEAN IN to talk to a girl and, as long as you feel comfortable in what you are doing, that confidence will project out in the WAY you are doing it.

When I mentioned this in a lecture I gave on body language I even people were so shocked to hear me say this they demanded a
demonstration.

Without batting an eye, I approached one of the seated students, head on, leaning in, breaking every ‘rule’ that has been listed
about body language.

And it was smoooth… because when you really learn to project confidence, it really does show through in everything you do.

By the way, we are going to make a very exciting announcement later today about body language.

Believe it or not, even if you have all my DYD stuff, Cliff List talk, V.I.P. Kino talk, the V.I.P. Body Language DVD and you have
taking Art of Attraction you still only know a small fraction of what I teach on the subject.

The absolute authority on the topic is my Physical Confidence Take-Home Training kit. Check it out.

Now go meet some women,
Lance Mason

Here is a show that is featured on FuseTV, and some of you might have seen it already. It’s not community based, but gives a glimpse into the club life. Basically, guys have certain tasks to complete, and a panel provides commentary.

Fun stuff!

http://www.fuse.tv/tv/vip/index.php?PHPSESSID=9d989e3dc18b1b27d845ffe8336598dc

Donovan

Christian – long time since we heard from you last. What have you been up to?
Hey Donovan, cool to see your site on a new domain finally! Yeah, I dropped out for awhile. It’s been a crazy eight months or so; I moved to New York, Charisma Arts and I parted ways, helped get another startup in the beverage space off the ground, and am now doing this Hidden Mic Pickups thing. There’s been a lot of partying, some amazing women, and a lot of growth in there too.

We all want to know – what happened with Charisma Arts?
Without going into specifics, the relationship just wasn’t working out. But I have respect for what they teach and I think the guys who work there are amazing. The Juggler Method is a powerful thing, and it was fun to help take that company from two guys in a coffee shop into the worldwide success that it is today.

Cool, so back to you… somehow I feel like the personal growth and the women might be related.
And you’d be right, mostly. I mean, New York is a tough town – everyone here is good at things. So if you don’t bring your “A” game, whether it be to work, dating, partying, networking, or anything else that involves people coming together, you’re toast.

Quick story – I got professionally connected to a woman here by a close friend, and I didn’t have much context about who she was. It turns out that she comes from one of the wealthiest families in town; Andy Warhol had been her debutante’s ball date. So I come into her office, slightly casual vibe based on the strength of my friend’s connection to her, and she sits me down and says “Why are you here?” I stammered a little bit and she said “Not good enough kid – you’ve got fifteen seconds to tell me why we should keep talking.” I ended up getting about five minutes of her time.

Those sorts of things occur only every now and then, but more generally, a lot of my growth has been focused on being a stronger man. Its much harder to be a good boyfriend and a strong man in general than it is to be a guy who is good at meeting women. A woman – and I’m thinking a real woman, like the wife of King Leonides in the movie 300 – has an intuition about a man’s strength, heart and truth. Even if he’s fooling himself, he can’t fool her. I’ve confronted some truths about who I am and what I want, and it took a real woman to make me do that.

Are there any specifics that have helped you out?
Well, I didn’t walk away from my relationship from last summer soon enough, and it cost us both a potential friendship. It forced me to develop some standards for what I will and won’t accept in a relationship. It’s funny – you know, within the first three or four times of dating or spending time with someone, if it’s going to work out. If you get a bad intuition, or there are obvious red flags, it’s your choice about how long you want to delay the inevitable and how much pain you want to go through. Big, big lesson.

More recently, one of the girls I’ve been together with on and off here is one of the top models in the world. You wouldn’t believe the social pressures she faces – everyone wants her to be around, everyone wants to have access to her world, but there is a lot of disingenuousness surrounding her. Dealing with this has required patience, maturity and support. You learn what it means to be the bigger man. I’ve also learned to appreciate “feminine” things that in the past would have annoyed me, but which I now see as part of the yin and yang of male : female relations.

So are you still doing “pick up”?
You know, I never thought that I did pick-up, per se. I had a chance to meet with Stephen Nash when I was out here, and we both concur that the skills you need to have a great girlfriend and a healthy relationship are very different than the skills you need for pickup. I think every guy should read his stuff and Deida’s work first, then start to work on their interaction skills.

With that said, I’m always meeting new people. Sometimes you get a number if you connect with someone… and I think that social skills and conversation skills are essential for having quality people in your life. When you have the right vibe and energy, you attract great people.

Having a positive energy and vibe… speaking of which, tell me about Master the Vibe.
I’m so excited about this Donovan. Hidden Mic Pickups is a monthly audio series that features live, flirtatious interactions between women, and guys with great social skills. I remember when I was 21 and trying to get my social and dating life on track, I kept thinking to myself “I just wish I could hear someone else do it.” Seven years later now, and there’s still no one doing that.

So is the product exclusively pick ups?
Well we’re meeting women everywhere. House parties, clubs, book launch events… so sometimes you’ll hear a true “pick up” – a guy who walks up to a girl with the intention of getting her number. Other times, well… there’s a clip we have from our friend Haresh, who was at a Mexican restaurant meeting friends for after-work Margaritas. One of Haresh’s friends’ friends brings a girl. So you hear how they connect, and how he sort of isolates her from the group, and this really daring way that he gets sets their next meetup.

We’re trying to cover the spectrum of what guys struggle with, and what we’ve personally struggled with. There are going to be months where we feature lots of interactions that cut off after the first three minutes, and I’ve got one interaction that is about an hour long, so that will be it for the month. Whatever the case, all the audio we picked is targeted to solve a particular problem.

How’s this different from some of the amateur hidden mic stuff I’ve heard?
For one thing, we use really good recording technology, so you actually hear what people are saying and you don’t have to suffer through lots of hiss and wind noise and jostling and all that. Of course, we have guys who are at the top of their game doing it too, so you’re not going to hear something that is flatly wrong and then try to emulate it.

Then we’re explaining why this stuff works. This is critical, because if I’m listening to this, I don’t want to just hear a guy meet women, I want to be able to do it myself with my own personality and my own stories and my own energy. Extracting the theory behind why something works is critical.

Is there a particular style you’re using? You were one of the founders of Charisma Arts, and you’re working with Sebastian from theApproach. Both companies are known for “natural” game.
Sebastian and I both have direct styles of interaction; he’s a lot lower-key than I am, but we’re both pretty direct.

With that said, we’re working with some great guys who are talented in a lot of different styles of interaction. Someone who wants to learn indirect, Mystery-style interaction skills will hear that, and someone who’s shy and laid back will also hear our friend who makes that work for himself.

Are there any things you’ve learned from going through this process?
Absolutely! There’s one huge thing that stands out to me… that’s the pacing at which these interactions move. I know that when I’m talking to people, it feels like things are moving very fast. But in fact, unless you’re running a routine or completely know where you’re going, conversations move slowly. That’s the point – you’re getting to know the other person, and taking in their vibe, not just blasting through the interaction. Its more Gears of War (stop and pop) than it is Halo (run and gun).

I didn’t realize until I mic’d myself up how many little pauses there are, how things can get misinterpreted, and how there can be up to 15 seconds of dead space. I started paying attention to this during some business meetings too. And what you learn is that both personally and professionally, it is very unnatural to have a twenty to sixty minute conversation where it’s like click click click and everything moves perfectly.

Ahh, other than that… I’ve loved seeing how different people make different things work. I have to tell you – Sebastian’s interactions are very low on flirtatiousness and tricks, but he’s smooth, has a great energy, and does a few key things that make the girls stick around. Its been great for me and since I’m the one who breaks down and narrates each interaction, I’ve had to pick out a lot of things I’ve never done before myself. Its been a great learning experience.

It sounds great. So what’s next for you?
Sebastian and I are working to get Master the Vibe nailed down – making sure the sound quality keeps getting better and better, making sure that customer support is A+++, and making sure that people are getting value out of the product. We’re having fun with it and we’re going to have lots of little surprises in the future. I am also starting another business in technology right now – very early stage but very exciting. Other than that… getting back into tennis this summer. If you know any New Yorkers who want to play, let me know!

***UPDATE: Christian has since left Master The Vibe and has released Hidden Mic Pickups.