When you’re talking to women during the day (day game), whether it be a coffee shop, supermarket, zoo, park or college, we’re typically told to work towards an instant date. An instant date is when you take her from where you currently are to another venue. Basically, instead of meeting up with her again, you simply go to another place and continue hanging out right away. An instant date is where you go for a coffee or some kind of mini-date with a woman immediately after having met her.

Many still believe that an instant date is the way to go. But, you have other options. When you meet her for the first time during the day, you still should opt for a “date” later that night.

Why?

There are a few reasons. One of them is that its very unlikely that the instant date will turn “sexual”. She might have other things on her mind, like getting lunch, appointments, meetings, and needing to get back to work. You might be in a rush to get other things done for yourself. Either way, it’s not helpful to have this many distractions when you both should be focusing on the sexual attraction between you too.

Most men and women typically consider sex a “night” event, especially when you’ve just started dating them. But when you’re in a relationship – it’s on at all times of the day!

One of the prime attraction triggers with women is mystery. The feeling women get when they don’t know the exact schedule. If you’re going out with her right after first meeting her then there’s a good chance that alot of that mystery will be gone. Nighttime holds a certain mystic that should be used to your advantage.

You also could risk falling in the friend zone by spending too much time first off during the day. She might say “oh that nice guy I met at lunch, then chatted that afternoon”. Big deal for you huh? We want them feeling attracted, not a friend.

There are always plenty of circumstances that are exceptional. You could always make it happen where you spend 4 hours one afternoon on an instant date and she will be very attracted to you. There may also be many times when you’ll have sex with a woman right after meeting her during the day. Sometimes things work out for the best, sometimes they don’t. It’s better to take your chances with something with higher odds of success than playing it at a masters level right off the bat. In time, you’ll get the hang of generating attraction and then you’ll have a much lower “fail rate”.

So, for beginners, secure a solid date at night time if you meet her during the day. If she can’t make it, then say in typical David DeAngelo fashion, “I’m busy [day] and [day] but free at night on [day]. Are you free then too? Let’s make this happen!” Then say good bye and meet up at the scheduled time for a date.

Obviously, if the situtation warrants an instant date, then you should 100% go for it. But just take the advice here as a “word of warning” to play it slightly safer until you get more experience with day game.

Experiment and master what works for you. Some guys are better during the day, some are better at night. Use your natural skills and circumstances to your advantage. If you currently do many instant dates, and aren’t getting the results you want, try the approach that I’ve mentioned and post your results in the form of a comment below.

Farmer, over at Love Systems, gave me this book to distribute to you all.

It contains a bunch of good, practical information for getting better at meeting women with direct game and during the day.

Here’s an excerpt:

How direct and sexual should the opener be, and should I have a few openers to avoid being a one trick pony?

There’s nothing wrong with being a one trick pony, as you put it. If something works, there’s no reason to change it. Using the same line all the time frees up your mind – you’re not worrying about which opener to use and you can concentrate on your body language and tonality without worrying about what to say.

If you want to have two or three openers, then I recommend practicing noticing things about girls that you like. Here are the two openers that I use from day to day:

1. The General one: “Excuse me, I just saw you walking past/I just saw you standing here/I just saw you through this telescope and I had to come and meet you. You are absolutely gorgeous. [Shake Hands] What’s your name?”

2. If I like something specific about her: “Excuse me, I just saw you walking past and I had to come and tell you that [X Y Z eg your posture is so alluring and elegant]. I had to meet you. What’s your name?”
Stay away from words like ‘awesome’ or ‘cute’. Use words like gorgeous, beautiful or alluring. Use words that girls use to describe other girls. I would stay away from swearing during the day, it isn’t particularly romantic.
But, really, use the basic structure for the moment, it works and frees up your mind to focus on other things.

Download your copy of Q&A with Farmer PDF (You need Adobe Acrobat Reader).

One of the biggest problems guys face is not knowing what to say when they see a woman they want to talk to. Especially when they see a woman in the daytime. The first step to meeting women in daytime environment is the approach, but in this article you will find some examples of things you can say to start a conversation.

There are some differences between approaching women in the daytime than at night. You wouldn’t approach a woman in a grocery store the same way you would at a bar.

One of the main differences is that the women in the daytime generally do not expect to be approached, whereas at night they do expect it. Especially when the woman is beautiful.

On top of that most women aren’t in a social mood to talk to people in the daytime and they usually are on a time constraint. She might be on her way to pickup a friend or is running late for work. That’s why it is advised to use direct approaches in the daytime, simply because you skip a couple of steps for a successful pickup.

At night you might have an hour to talk to a woman, but when you meet someone on the street she might be on her way to an appointment. This means you have to efficiently compress the interaction to a shorter period of time, starting off with an direct approach.

The structure of an direct conversation starter is this:

[get her attention] + [social calibrator] + [compliment]

You first have to get her attention before you can deliver your compliment. Between that is the social calibration, which means that you address the situation you’re both in, which is necessary to make her feel comfortable. The biggest part of your direct conversation starter (“opener”) is the compliment.

Let’s look at a couple direct openers:

“Excuse me, I just saw you walking past, and I had to come tell you that you look absolutely beautiful.”

“Hi, I saw you from across the isle and I thought you looked gorgeous. I wanted to come introduce myself.”

These are all examples that follow the structure of an effective daytime opener. First part is a way to grab her attention, then the social calibration, and then the compliment. You can use these right away and if used correctly, you will have successfully started a conversation with a woman.

A good general rule for compliments is: the more specific, the better. Also, it should be an explicit physical interest in her attractiveness. A comment about her “purse” or “nice dress” is weak. However, you can start with something general and followup with something more specific.

For example:

“Excuse me, I saw you walking by, and I had to come tell you that you look absolutely gorgeous. I can tell you really take care of yourself.”

“Hi, I saw you from across the isle and I thought you looked gorgeous. I like how you put yourself together. I wanted to come introduce myself.”

The examples are all the same from above but added with a specific compliment. Feel free to play around with those and phrase them the way you normally talk so it is congruent with you.

All these openers are great for starting conversations with women you meet in coffee shops, malls, grocery stores, shopping streets, and any other place you meet women outside bars and clubs. After you have approached, you must continue the conversation. These are just examples of breaking the ice.

Jeremy Soul, widely recognized as the expert on meeting in daytime environments, has released his book Daytime Dating which is about approaching women in daytime environments, getting their phone numbers, and going on dates with them. If you are interested in meeting women outside bars and clubs, check out the book here.

Introduction
If meeting women in the daytime is something you’re interested in then this primer is for you. It contains the basic information on day game that I present at most bootcamps I instruct at. In my opinion, this is what you need to know to get out there and start meeting people outside of a nightclub environment.

Opening
I find the greatest consistency and satisfaction using direct openers such as:

‘Excuse me, I saw you from over there.and I’d regret it all day if I didn’t come met you.because you look absolutely gorgeous. (EXTEND HAND TO SHAKE) Hi, I’m Keychain, what’s your name?’

Direct openers like this (recently popularized by Sebastian Drake, Soul, Dr.Yen etc.) usually open quite strongly and provide a good platform for you to launch the conversation from. At the very least, it’s nice to say nice things to people – it’ll make you feel good and give her positive emotions too.

There’s nothing wrong with starting a conversation in another style such as indirect, functional, comedic etc. There are lots of examples of these types of openers online and you’ll want to come up with your own as the situation dictates. Here are a few to get you started:

- ‘Hey do you know where the nearest Starbucks is?’
- She’s reading a book: ‘What are you reading?’
- She’s wearing head/earphones: ‘What are you listening to? I’m bored of my current playlist’ (credit Sasha) – take her iPod and start teasing/appreciating her playlist (my addition).
- She’s in a shop or coffee house, deliver with comedy: ‘I saw you from out there and had to come meet you. I just couldn’t let a pane of glass stand between us and true love.’ (Credit Sasha)

If the girl is sat or stationary, you can just walk over to her and deliver your opener. If she’s moving, I’ll always approach from behind, even if it means letting her walk past to get my angle.

To stop a moving set, approach from behind and touch the inside of the elbow gently with two fingers. You can also touch the triceps area or the back of the forearm. Say ‘excuse me’ to get her attention, stop walking as she turns towards you and then deliver your opener.

To further stop her forward momentum and start the transition to conversation, extend your hand to shake hers. Give your name and ask for hers. She will, as most people would, automatically shake your hand and give you her name. From here, you’re ready to transition.

A Common Trap With Direct Openers
Don’t try to solicit a reaction. So many guys get addicted to the big, gushing reactions that you will occasionally get from your direct approaches and ‘look’ for it every time. Instead of being an expression of their personality and core intent, the direct opener becomes a tool to chase a reaction.they deliver it and wait for the big WOW! It’s approval-seeking and not attractive.

Try this frame: Her beauty/vibe/aura moved you to approach. Something in your core just said ‘yes’. So you’re going to go meet her, express your core and see if she’s the kind of girl you might connect with and would like in your life. Self-expression, without the need for approval, mixed with a curious fascination for her as a unique creature.

Transition to Conversation
After opening, I like to stack and cycle through the following transition material until I find a topic that you’re both interested in and can naturally talk about together (what Sebastian Drake calls a ‘click topic’). Perhaps you both enjoy traveling or you both like the movies of a certain director.

To that end, here are three content-questions that you can ask to mine for a click topic.

1)What are doing in London/Oslo/Melrose today? (this also allows you to find out how much time you might have to talk. If she’s rushing to meet friends, better go for the number. If she’s just ‘shopping’, you might try for an instant-date later in the conversation)
2)What do you do for a living?
3)What do you do for fun?

As recommended by Wayne Elise, these can either be delivered statement/question or question/statement. In other words, you might start by talking about what you’re doing in central London and then ask her what she’s up to (statement/question). Or you might ask her first and then answer your own question when she’s done (question/statement). Either way, be prepared to supply the initial content and energy of the interaction.

It’s not unusual for a person to be a little on-guard when approached by a stranger in the street or a coffee shop and give quite short answers. Allow her initial shyness, she’ll warm up as your statements build comfort and convey your attractive personality.

Another conversation technique I enjoy is to talk about a character trait I enjoy, explain why I enjoy it and then ask her if she has it. I came up with this by combining Mr.M’s ideas about high-value frame attraction and Sebastian Drake’s ‘click topics’. This ‘soft qualification’ is a great way to add value to a conversation and qualify in a high-value way. The more astute among you may recognize some sexual framing in this material also. Lately I’ve been teaching this at a lot of bootcamps and the results have been so encouraging that I recommend you add this technique to your arsenal.

For example:
‘I really like people who travel, I love to travel myself. There’s something about people who travel.there’s an open-mindedness to new experiences and a non-judgmental quality that I really like. Do you like to travel?’

‘I like to surround myself with creative people. They have an energy and a fresh way of looking at life that really energizes me. What do you do for fun?’

If you can’t find a click topic, consider that perhaps the two of you have nothing to click on and are better off moving on to meet other people. With practice, however, you’ll find you can find a way to connect with almost anyone you meet. Remember to listen with curiosity and interest.

Thoughts on Conversation
All the principles of social interaction you’ll find in Magic Bullets and the other materials are relevant here. On top of these, I’d suggest focusing on glimpsing the girl underneath her social facade and being open enough for her to get a glimpse of you under yours.

It’s easy to view interactions with girls as a ‘game’ in which you say certain things, touch your ‘target’ in a certain way to either win or lose the game. This kind of thinking serves to dehumanize the girl who is, after all, a unique person just like you. What if the simple meeting of both of your personalities, opinions and experiences could provide enough content for an attractive, successful conversation?

Don’t forget to be fun and humorous. Tease a little to inject some spice, have fun with the conversation. There’s no need to be intense and serious all the time – in fact, this can be quite creepy! Try a fun role play or future projection, experiment with the attraction materials in Magic Bullets to spice things up. Beware of making these the focus of your content though, remember that you and her are enough to have a great conversation.

Find your own style of interaction. When you meet a man who is successful with girls, by all means copy his style but only to gain an understanding of the underlying principles that make him so successful. Don’t be a clone, you’ll get much better results as a great version of you.

Taking Things Further
Where can you take the conversation after you’re clicking and enjoying one another? Depending on the logistics of the situation, you might try these options:
- suggest a future meeting and exchange contact details.
- suggest going to get a coffee right then and there.
- my first day game approach ended with a hand job in a nearby photo-booth. You could shoot for this if the mood strikes.

Conclusion

The skill of meeting people and having great conversations is a vast one with room for a lifetime of learning and experimentation. It’s a lot of fun and comes with lots of benefits, not least all of the beautiful women you’ll meet!

With this basic information you’ve got all you need to start meeting girls in the daytime. The most important thing you could do with what you’ve read is start applying it in real conversations.

To find out more information on day game, check out this audio download by day game experts Jeremy Soul and Bonsai. The first 10 minutes are free.

Here’s a new video from PUATraining that has an amazing day game kiss close in London in under 10 minutes.

One of the biggest things we work on in our bootcamps is dispelling the myth that it takes “7 hours” to move things forward with a girl.

Yad (the guy in the video!) pulls off instant kisses in just minutes and often just takes the girls home right then and there.

I’m more of a night-game guy myself, but I usually take things open to close in under an hour!

The biggest thing for you to take out of this video is that almost anything is possible with women..very, very quickly.

The key to believing is actually seeing it with your own to eyes. And then getting the results for yourself.

Hopefully this video really helps you out and expands your reality.

Check it out:

If you want to, check out the details of a PUATraining bootcamp.

Soul, of Love Systems, has this footage of him approaching women and some background on himself as a day game coach. I found his day game approach, easy going, casual and low pressure, this tends to suit many guys when there aren’t many other guys distracting the girl you’re after. Turn it up a little for those women that tend to be ADHD. =)

Read my interview with Richard La Ruina, or check out his company at PUATraining.com

Carlos Xuma’s new product coming soon: http://www.realdaygame.com

I didn’t start by using Direct Game. I started off and got good by learning Indirect Game, mostly by practicing indirect routines. I think starting off with an indirect approach helped me a lot. Direct Game is incredibly powerful, but it takes a certain amount of confidence to pull off. As a bootcamp student said to me recently, “You’ve got to crawl before you can walk, and walk before you can jog.”

I ultimately switched to being direct because it was more congruent with my personality, and I had more fun with it. I love the look of shock on a woman’s face when you approach her and say, “You’re so sexy, how are you?” It’s even more fun when I’m on a date and getting intimate with the same woman a few hours later.

This article describes one of my favourite experiences with a beautiful woman I met on the street, hooked up with that night, and is now one of my closest friends.

I was walking down the street with a good friend of mine, when he spotted a beautiful Asian woman walking past (he knows I have a penchant for Asians). She looked absolutely stunning. Tanned skin, long jet black hair, big celebrity style sunglasses and a crisp summer dress; she was a vision of beauty. She was already a few steps in front of us, so I leapt after her.

I rushed up to her from behind, touched her gently on the arm to turn her around, and said, “Excuse me, I saw you walking down the street and thought, ‘Oh my God, that woman is beautiful,’ and had to come talk to you.”

Things like leaping after a woman or starting with “Excuse me” could be try-hard with an opinion opener, but they are totally congruent with Direct Game. The goal is to come off as charming and confident without seeking a specific reaction from her. The key to achieving this is passion and enthusiasm in your delivery. The more she thinks you’re being 100% genuine with her, the better she will respond.

She gave me that classic look that I’ve seen thousands of times. The look of surprise, slight shock, and quick once-over of you to see if she’s potentially interested. Unlike in Indirect Game, where you build up your value from the ground as you interact with the woman, in Direct Game you have to have high pre-approach value, otherwise she will write you off. This means looking as good as you possibly can, having very strong body language, and delivering your opener with the utmost confidence.

She giggles and asks if I’m sure that I’m not trying to sell her something. I joke around with her for about how I’m not trying to sell her something, and in fact I am trying to pick her up, which gets her giggling even more. One of the things that I’ve learnt in Direct Game is that if you can make her laugh IMMEDIATELY after opening directly, it completely relaxes them.

At this point, you’ve done something very powerful. You’ve shown your interest, but you’ve also shown them that they can have a fun interaction with you. Humour is huge for Direct Game. If you’re not a funny person, you’re going to have to learn to be one! There’s a book by Martin Merrill called Make Women Laugh that could help. Also, watching stand-up comedy shows is great for developing a good sense of humour.

I suggest walking down the street with her for a little bit so we can talk more, and she agrees. For the next few minutes, I get to know her a little better and start building comfort with her. I also start thinking about where and how I am going to spend the next few hours of time with her.

In Direct Game, you close quickly. When I ran Indirect Game, I would always make sure to “play it cool” throughout the pick-up. I never wanted to appear too needy, so I would wait a little while before texting or calling her, and then set up a date for a couple of days later. That way I looked like I had a busy and interesting lifestyle.

With Direct Game, you take the reverse approach. Imagine the whirlwind romancer who flies into Paris for one night, meets a beautiful woman, charms and sleeps with her that night, and then departs sorrowfully the next morning. Direct Game is meant to be THAT intense. It’s as if your feelings and your passion for this woman are so strong that you can’t help but act on them. Women LOVE this kind of intensity in their romantic encounters.

It turns out she doesn’t have any plans as yet for the evening, so I start seeding the idea of joining my friends and me for drinks that night.

We part ways for the afternoon, and I call her a couple of hours later. We arrange to meet up at the bar that night, and then I start creating a sexual frame by sending the text, “Make sure you wear something sexy for me tonight.”

Sexuality is a HUGE part of Direct Game. Most guys get it completely wrong and end up coming off as “sleazy”. I teach students how to be calibrated with their sexuality, how much and when to express it. Calibrated expressions of your sexuality achieve two things: it increases her attraction to you (women like guys that are confident in the bedroom), and it makes her start reacting sexually towards you.

I remember sometimes being frustrated with Indirect Game because when I got a woman into bed, she didn’t always want to sleep with me. With Direct Game, because you use sexuality as part of the interaction throughout, she comes home with you knowing full well what is going to happen – and she gets excited by the prospect.

She meets me at the bar, we talk with my friends, and then I pull her aside to a couch so we can talk in isolation.

Direct Game applies to comfort as well. I try and condense my comfort phase down to about an hour or two these days. Being Direct is about being open with your emotions. If you can tell a woman what your real passions, ambitions, and feelings are in life within an hour or two of meeting her, then you’ll find that she is likely to do the same. Before you know it, you’re both locked in this little bubble, where it’s just the two of you talking about your innermost feeling. It should feel as if everything around you disappears.

This is the feeling you create with Direct Game. Nothing else should exist when you are looking deep into her eyes. By the way, really looking into a woman’s eyes is a powerful way to convey how you feel about her. It’s hard to explain in print, but people who’ve met me know that it’s a look I can turn on or off. When you look at her, imagine that you’ve just had a glimpse into paradise and you get completely absorbed by it, just for a few seconds.

I ramp up the kino escalation by holding her hands as she talks to me about her past relationships. I stroke her hair from time to time so she begins to feel that fluttery feeling in a stomach and knows that a kiss is imminent.

She has told me everything that’s happened to her in the last couple of years by now, and I know that the trust is there. I need to think about escalating further and closing.

I tighten the sexual frame by telling her how incredibly sexy she looks tonight. Then I tell her to stand up – dominance is a very Direct quality and increases her attraction to you – and turn her around. I whisper into her ear, “Your ass looks especially sexy.”

I tell her, “I’m thinking about doing all sorts of things to you that I probably shouldn’t be thinking about.” She’s getting turned on and responding positively to the sexual frame that I’ve created.

I spend a little time dancing with her, and then suggest we get out of there. At this point, she knows full well what’s going to happen. When we get back to mine, I can tell she is a little nervous, so I spend more time talking with her and telling her how much fun I’ve had with her that evening.

Being Direct means you escalate fast. Occasionally, you will find you move forward too fast for some woman. At this point, all you need to do is spend a little more time in comfort on an ad hoc basis.

There’s no need to spend three dates or seven hours with her if you can escalate faster; just make sure when she is in bed with you, you understand her and have demonstrated why you like her (qualification).

I won’t go into details of the rest of the night, but neither of us got much sleep, and she has now become one of my best friends. All throughout the interaction, I never misled her about how I felt about her and what I wanted. She respected me for that, and it’s one of the reasons why we’re still close friends to this day. It’s also one of the reasons why I love Direct Game.

Carlos Xuma adds:

Yeah, I totally agree.

A lot of guys fear direct game because they perceive that it’s like “letting the cat out of the bag” as to how they feel about the women, but ironically this is often what makes a man attractive to a woman.

It’s the risk that a man puts out there that makes him look confident.

Donovan adds:

Carlos Xuma has a new day game program released very shortly called “REAL Day Game”. The funny thing is, I’m actually really looking forward to this new program. Here’s a video:

Check it out here:

This looks very interesting. My good friend Sheriff is co-hosting an event in London with Soul (who I don’t really know). Look out for some interviews with them soon.

Donovan

Puatraining.com