This guest post was written by Chris Shepherd (aka Tenmagnet) Master Instructor for Love Systems and author of The Ultimate Guide To Phone and Text Game

I get the impression that a lot of guys out there are doing decently well at getting phone numbers and building attraction, but are getting a lot of flaking after acquiring the phone number. This challenge is to help you guys improve your phone game so that you’re able to turn your phone numbers into dates. Your goal is to spend the maximum amount of time talking to women on the phone.

First, let’s talk some phone game theory.

Men and women view the telephone very differently. Men view the phone as a tool that allows us to schedule our lives and arrange meet ups with our friends. For a woman, talking on the phone is almost as good as meeting up with a friend. For example, when two guys chat on the phone, the conversation usually goes something like this:

• “Hey Dave, what’s up tonight?”

• “I’m going to Skybar at 9. Wanna come?”
• “Yeah, totally…. Hey, I’ll see you there, man!”
• *click*

Now, I ask you guys this: have you ever heard a woman talk on the phone like that? No! A woman would think that a conversation like the one above is weird and unnatural, and it’s exactly the way that a lot of guys come off when we call a woman and immediately change the subject to meeting up.

Women want to chat on the phone, even if it’s silly small talk. When we understand this, we can change our phone habits so they make women enjoy our calls, and feel comfortable and natural meeting up with us.

So, here are some rules for a little phone game exercise. Please don’t see these rules as hard and fast laws that need to be followed all the time, but techniques designed to improve your natural phone game.

• Contact women the next day or the same day that you get their number.
• For subsequent calls, don’t mention the meet up until you have chatted for at least five minutes.
• If you get her voicemail the first time, leave a message.
• If the woman you’re calling is busy, at work, or being distracted, just say “hey, I’ll call you back when you’re not distracted.” If she tries to get you to stay on, then stay (unless the distraction is really annoying).
• If you have a phone number, call it every two days, even if you keep getting the answering machine. Don’t give up until you have called at least five times.
• If a woman is picking up the phone, continue to call her every two days, or more (especially if she is investing in you by calling back). Do this with all of the phone numbers you have!
• Don’t be afraid to make small talk. If you have the phone number, you are in Comfort! You can get away with mellow chit-chatty conversation. Talk about any topic you want, just try and make it interesting!
• Try and get into deeper conversation. “What were you like in high school?” “Tell me about your family.” Etc…
• Call your female friends and women who have “let’s just be friends”-ed you and talk to them!

The goal of this is to make you into one of those people who is constantly talking on the phone, getting phone calls and socializing over the phone. You want to get calls back while you are on dates, and constantly interacting with a wide group of friends. You’ll be amazed at how this changes your social dynamic.

For the complete resource on phone game (and, especially, text game), you should check out Braddock and Mr M’s book The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game. Many of my clients swear by it!

Good luck, guys!
Chris Shepherd (Tenmagnet)

There are plenty of mistakes a guy can make when he’s out with a girl for the first time. Right now, I’ll address one of the most common mistakes: seating.

Ever have this problem? You and a buddy see two girls across the way and go over. He sits next to the one you like and you sit next to the friend, not exactly your type. You make small talk; so does she. Maybe your buddy isn’t hitting it off with the other girl, either. This can easily happen, but it takes a very strong personality to break social norms and say, “Switch!” Few people will do so.

Most foursomes so situated will sit in this poor energy configuration and the one couple that had a chance – you and the other girl – may never get an opportunity to be alone. You both feel badly if you do so, like you’re betraying your initial partners. This most often ends with everybody feeling blah.

The same thing can happen one-on-one. If you’re seated by a maitre d’ or hostess they’ll probably put you and your date across the table from one another. Or, your date, not knowing better, will wish to sit across from you. If you’re having dinner, this is often unavoidable. But, you shouldn’t be eating with a girl with whom you haven’t yet slept, anyway.

Sitting across from a romantic partner kills sexual energy. First off, it has an interview configuration in which you are physically confronting one another. This format is good for asking challenging questions or scrutinizing a job applicant, not for sharing tender caresses or whispering provocative words. Also, your voice has to project across a table top, so it doesn’t have the intimacy of the close-spoken word. In addition, you don’t have a shared point-of-view (POV). The value of a shared POV is that you can identify things, comment on people, laugh at something you both see, etc. The opposing POVs which two parties have across a table is more suitable for adversaries than intimates.

Side-by-side seating also begins the physical process. With the woman by your side, you can put your hand on her thigh, lean into her shoulder, kiss her neck, hold her hand under the table, etc. In this way, you build on the other elements of intimacy – a quiet voice and a shared POV – so that soon she feels that you and she are one. This is the process by which females open up and include men in their physical reality.

With something as simple as the proper use of seating, you’ve created a sense of intimacy and unity that will soon lead to sex. Choose to sit across, however, and more than likely you’ve increase her sense of alienation.

Get more tips from New York City’s best pickup artist, Paul Janka, by learning about his latest offer.

by Paul Janka, author of Attraction Formula [Download it here].

Highlighting once again the perverse way in which “dinner and drinks” capture the female mind, I will recount a recent experience that played out well, though unpredictably.

I was leaving my business partner’s house in Brooklyn after a day of working on our business and I popped into a corner store for a bottle of water. Inside, two girls were buying groceries. Quickly, I asked for Kate’s number, mentioning I had to get back to the city, but that she was cute and we should get together another night. That was enough – she gave me the digits.

Over the course of the next week, she got a message or two inquiring about her night, did she want to meet for a drink?, etc. I was busy and working on many girls, so she didn’t get any focused attention. Then, on some random weeknight, she texted back that she could meet me uptown. I told her my corner, and she took a taxi up. I was home and when she got here, she texted, “I’m here.” I texted her the building number and buzzer; it was about 9:30.

She came up and sat down. We talked. She got comfortable. The candles were flickering and the music was on. After chatting for fifteen minutes, I began to prepare the rug and pillows on the floor. She came over, took off her shoes and felt the pelt under her feet. I eased her down and soon we were on our knees, close to each other.

I kissed her. She responded and things progressed. My hand went up her skirt and her legs parted. Her panties were damp. Before long, most of our clothes were off and she was reclining on the pillows, legs slightly apart.

Clearly, this wasn’t what she had anticipated. She had signed-up for a cocktail, and now she was on the brink of sex without a beverage… As I reached for a condom, she resisted. And then, to my surprise, she proffered the following: “If we do this, you’ll take me out for a drink after, right?” I agreed. We had sex.

Afterwards, we dressed and walked out on Madison. Thankfully, the bars were closed and the sole option was a bodega down the street. I got a lime seltzer, and she, seeing that I wasn’t going to drink, got a soda.

Cost of date: $2.17

We walked into Central Park, sat on a bench and talked for a bit. She discussed this guy she likes, but isn’t sure if he’s that interested. They ride bikes around town, meet for coffee, etc. We had a nice chat and then I walked her to the train. She left, Brooklyn-bound.
What struck me most about this “date” was how Kate clung desperately to this notion of “a drink” in the face of imminent sex. I’ve found that to be a very female behavior: concern for irrelevant dating protocol in the midst of a highly sexual moment. I was naked, in front of her with a hard-on and she was naked, lying down and wet. I was about to enter her, and her mind was focused on getting a drink out of the night.

Insane, in my opinion.

I know they like to feel “compensated” somehow for sex, but this is ridiculous. How can the brain allot resources to planning a beverage when it should be entirely focused on the immediate physicality of the situation? Only the female brain could do this, which demonstrates that a) women can multitask, and b) women regard sex as an instrument of barter, insufficient on its own merits as a valid activity.
As a man, I say that’s pathetic and I will do everything in my power to counteract such pathological thinking.

Learn more about Paul Janka’s direct game by downloading his book Attraction Formula.

One of my strengths has always been: give me an evening alone with a girl who likes me – even if she only likes me a little bit – and I’ll convert that into something physical. The woman who I’m seeing at the moment broke a string of 23 first-dates that ended in sex.

Every Love Systems instructor has a unique specialty. Mine is dates. A date is a chance for you and a girl to get to know each other, and if you like each other, a great chance to get the awkwardness out of future interactions by taking her to bed.

Being great at dates is about as much work as being great at pickup. And, like pickup, there are a few basic horrible mistakes you can make that are hard to come back from. Avoiding these won’t make you great, but will save you from the worst problems.

1) Not Meeting Her Close to Where You Want To End Up

Women hate awkwardness. And they also hate doing anything that makes them feel too easy, or obligated to have sex. That’s why when a woman is coming home with you, she’ll often say “We’re not having sex tonight!” Just smile, say okay, and know your odds are actually pretty good.

But, if you’ve met her on a date at an art gallery 20 miles away from your house, how are you going to get her back to your place afterwards? Anything that looks like effort is going to put up her “don’t be too easy” defenses – any plan that she makes that she can’t easily change again is going to make her back down – such as you driving her to your place in the middle of the night.

If you want to make this easy for yourself, get women to meet you close to your house. If you’ve made the effort to move somewhere exciting, this will be easy – it should be full of fun bars and cafes. If not, you may have to make do with the local dive bar.

If you want to get the first night’s sex out of the way quickly, meet her at a place where the transition back to your place for “one last glass of wine” won’t seem contrived, or like one of you is expending a lot of effort to make it happen.

2) Choosing Really Bad Dates Where You Can’t Interact

If a woman is coming on a date with you, she already likes you. What needs to happen next is the two of your need to talk, connect, build some tension, and make it happen.

Don’t take her to watch a movie. Invite her over to watch a DVD on your couch with a blanket and a bottle of wine, where you can discuss and interrupt the movie. Sitting next to her in a crowded movie theatre for 2 hours? How’s that going to help?

Many guys seem to approach their dates from a “make sure nothing goes wrong!” point of view. They’re just waiting out their time from meeting the girl to a sensible time for her to invite herself in, and hoping it happens. It rarely does.

3) Pressuring For Sex / Escalating Badly

Women love sex, but they hate feeling bad about having had sex. Preventing that is up to you. Women don’t want to seem too easy or feel obligated. Yet somehow, you still need to guide them into your house, onto the sofa next to you, and make it happen.

For this reason, she needs to be able to maintain plausible deniability the whole time, from meeting you right up to getting her clothes off. It needs to “just happen.” This is largely a function of framing – which if you’re at the Super Conference this weekend, you’ll hear me talk all about.

But for now, here are three things you can do:

• Have a good reason you’re going back to your place – for me, the old standby was “I’ve got this great bottle of wine and I’m resenting paying $10 a glass here!” When I was living with my parents, I’d say to girls “I don’t want to get a taxi home – do you have a sofa I can crash on?” We’re looking for vaguely plausible reasons here, rather than water-tight…
• Throw in a little disqualifier as you escalate. For example: “Okay, you can see my bedroom, but no sex tonight! I’m on my period,” used to work well for me. Also excellent are “I’m putting you in a taxi at 11pm on the dot, so don’t be disappointed!” and “It’s okay, you can crash. I have the world’s biggest bed; it has a barrier you can put up in the middle.”
• Set a frame about her staying over, but nothing will happen. Some women are just shy. Giving them a shirt of yours to sleep in, snuggling under the duvet, and turning the lights off are a magical combination. Turns out it’s very easy for something to “Just Happen” in situations like that.

Guys, dates should be a lot of fun, and you’re able to control a lot of factors in them. Remember to pull the trigger, and have a think about if you’re making any of the mistakes above!

Read more from Sheriff at Love Systems.

Do you know what the worst thing is about vacation? I mean, apart from the fact that they’re always too short, and involve sitting in uncomfortable airplane seats and having the person in the hotel room next door to you play their television way too loudly. Besides all of that, do you know what the worst thing is about vacation? It’s coming home.

What is it about coming home? Why is it such a downer? I have a nice home. I like my home. I love coming back and seeing my dog. I just never want vacations to end. They’re never long enough.

It was sad seeing New Orleans. It’s the second time I’ve been there post-Katrina, and the city still hasn’t totally recovered. I’m not about to go on a political tangent about how the government screwed that thing up, I’m just going to go on to talk about today’s blog topic.

Whether or not you’re getting sex seems to be a fun conversation, so let’s enjoy it. Also, speaking of sex, take a look at the end of this blog because there’s a sneak peek of a very private offer. (I know some of you only read the beginning and the end of the blog, so I didn’t want any of you to miss out on the prize).

Talking about prizes, how much fun was it as a kid to try to get the prize that came in the bottom of cereal boxes before your brothers and sisters could find them? You always knew when my brother had gotten to a cereal box, because the whole side of the box would look swollen. There’s no way to get those toy surprises in a box of cereal without causing some damage.

Sex is kind of like a prize too. So let’s talk about sex and particularly the “third date sex rule.”

It’s the third date, so it’s time to have sex, right? There seems to be a widespread rumor out there that if you get to a third date with someone, then it’s time to have sex.

What is it with this “it’s the third date so it’s time to have sex” thing? Who made up this rule? Who started it? Was it on an episide of “Sex And The City?” I mean, from where did this “rule” come?

I’m going to tell you exactly what the third date means. If you’re really in touch with yourself and the other person, then the third date signifies the point at which you usually know whether or not this is a person with whom you want to hang, get to know better and with whom you want to see if you can establish some kind of relationship.

Three dates with someone will usually tell you if this is a person you want to get to know better, because you’ve probably spent nine, ten or more hours with them by this time. You’ve had a bunch of phone calls with them in between the dates. You’re getting to know them and learn who they are.

For me, the third date always meant that I liked that persosn, I can hang with them and I want to get to know them better. It doesn’t mean that I sit there all uptight counting down the minutes to the end of date one, counting down the minutes in the second date, and then counting down the minutes to the third date when I can try to get her to come back to my house because it’s the third date and we have to have sex. C’mon…that’s ridiculous.

So from now on when you make it to three dates, instead of just thinking about sex why not ask yourself some better questions:

Do I like this person? Do I want to get to know this person better? Is this person someone whom I respect? Do I like their viewpoint? Can I imagine myself doing things with them (e.g., traveling, going out to dinner)? Do we share some of the same interests? Do I enjoy their company? Do I enjoy listening to them? Do I respect what they do for a living?

Instead of just thinking about whether you’ll vibe together in bed, think about whether you’ll vibe together as people. Because if you vibe together as people, the sex will be great. So stop thinking with Mr. Penis, and start thinking with your heart and with your head. Remember that whenever you let the penis do all of the thinking, the penis is usually wrong.

You know what’s funny too? Some people want to have sex right away. They want to live out a sexual fantasy, but they may have NO clue how to make that happen.

Today, I released a product about sexual fantasies (and how to make them a reality) BUT it’s only available to people on my private subscriber list. If you’re on that list, check your email inbox and the link to (and a video I created about) that product is contained in an email I sent you.

If you’re interested in this product and you’re not on my subscriber list, you have to sign up to be able to get it. Signing up is free, easy and fast — all you have to do is put your first name and email address in the box at the top right hand corner of the page. Click here

Roosh’s new book “Bang” (my review) is amazing. It’s basically all the beginning-intermediate pickup advice you could need for a natural/routine based game. I’m not kidding when I say it has great stuff from all the schools of thought. It’s all compressed no nonsense, and very easy reading. He just released a digital version of his book for under $25, so go get yourself a copy. I’ll have a review up for Bang very shortly.

If a girl tries to reschedule the first date and you haven’t had sex with her yet, you are looking at something that could kill the interaction.

The time between getting her number and seeing her again is when most girls flake, so it’s important you keep that time to under one week. You call within a couple days of meeting her and schedule a date for a couple days after that. If too much time passes until she sees you again, momentum is lost and the interaction loses importance in her mind.

The reason: if she meets a new guy and doesn’t see him for over a week and doesn’t feel any discomfort, how will she come to the realization that it’s important to see him?

If a girl tries to cancel the first date, and you make it easy for her to do so, there’s a risk that date one will never occur. When dealing with a girl’s attempt to cancel, the main idea is to not let her off the hook so easily. Make it uncomfortable for her so there is tension that she attempts to relieve, either by canceling her cancellation or by wanting to quickly reschedule.

Girls usually cancel on the same day of the date through text or phone. If she calls you on the day of the date, let her leave a message by not picking up your phone. Do not respond to her until the very last minute, where she worries that you will actually show up to the date or that you were going to stand her up. For example if you set a date at 8PM and she cancels at 5, do not call her until 7:15-7:30. The extra time also allows you to think about the best way to respond.

A few months ago I had a first date with a girl I met at a dive bar. It was set at 8:30 but I got a text message in the afternoon from her saying she is not feeling well and needs to cancel. I didn’t respond and went on with my day. I came home, ate dinner, and then got a call from her an hour before the date was supposed to happen. She asked if I received her text message and I said yes, that I was right about to call her. She said that she feels a little bit better and can go out as planned.

In some cases doing NOTHING actually keeps the date on schedule. Who would have thought that? It’s better to go out with a sick girl or one that is less than 100% ready to have sex because it at least keeps the interaction going. Remember, the more time that passes before the first date, the less important you become.

I took this girl out, did some very light kissing at the end, and then banged her on the next date. Now if I responded to her text message before she felt “better,” the date wouldn’t have happened and it’s possible I may not have gotten the bang.

At the very least, delaying your response stirs up some worry and places you in her mind for a much longer time. I don’t know what a girl is thinking when she is trying to cancel a date, but I think it’s possible that your delayed response would make her think, “Maybe I’m making a mistake.” At best, like in my personal example
above, doing absolutely nothing will keep you on the right track.

I wouldn’t have been able to figure out the best way to deal with girls canceling dates unless I got A LOT of dates, but in all of high school and college I got a grand total of two dates. And nothing happened on either date. I was clueless AND sexless.

I made a commitment to solve this problem with a fresh start after college, and proceeded to figure out the best ways to meet girls, talk to them, and get dates. I used to never get dates, but I became a guy who would view a date just as another experiment to figure out women. Imagine how long a way I came.

Now I worry about things other than girls, like the meaning of life which country I want to visit next.

Before I focused on solving my other problems, I wrote down everything I knew about how to get laid in my book Bang. It’s a reference guide that will be a shortcut for you to get up to speed and start landing girls you want. More lays in 60 days…

Instantly download “Bang” for under $25 here.

You’re a man and it’s your job to make a date that’s memorable, exciting and filled with attraction. Here are a list of date idea “templates” for men that will be sure to get your creative juices flowing no matter what city or country you live in. Why do I call them “templates”? Because you can transfer them into your own life and add additional “modules” (parts) to them to make them personal.

20. Local Concert

This is a great date, because you’ve always got a constant source for conversation. When things in your conversation die down, jump around. jump. jump.

19. The Zoo

Corny as it sounds, this is an awesome date idea. You can always bring out creative banter about animals and how she’s very similar in personality to that cheeky, yet shy lemur.

18. Martial Arts Lesson

Women love these active dates, and especially fighting… for some weird reason. Go to a place and take a beginner class and show her your skills. Make sure you don’t come across weak or afraid at any time. Big turn off.

17. Local Fair or Farmers Market

Nothing is funner than seeing some weird hillbilly at a fair. Make sure you make fun of their mullet and occasionally bring up the fact that she secretly likes the men that sport them. For you city folk, there are dozens of bazaars that scream “I’ve got second hand goods!”

16. Historic Part of the Town

Learn the history of your particular part of the town. There are always strange and fun events that took place in days gone. Especially learn those “this governor’s wife got jealous and ended up shooting him just around the corner…” stories. Usually these parts of the town are now gentrified so it’s a pleasant walk around. Say that you’re going to take her on an “historical tour” of that particular area. Then finish up with something sweet.

15. Arcade

Take her for a trip to those old school arcades and play physical games like basketball, air hockey and if you insist.. Daytona.

14. Boat Tour

Usually in most major cities in the world you have some sort of water. Usually the city has ferries, boats, or kayaks. Use them. One of my favorite dates was taking the Staten Island Ferry, walking around Staten Island for (5.2 minutes) and then running back to the ferry…

13. Art Gallery

A classic but a goodie. Try and be the “rebel” and break the norms without seeming naive or insensitive to the awesome art work inside. Prank that you’ll pull out your camera and use the flash… (guards hate this)

12. Theme Park

Nothing gets your closer to a woman than adrenaline. Women love it!

11. Tennis Match

Take her to a court and teach her how to play. If you don’t know how to play tennis… then teach her to play your favorite individual sport. Then battle for dessert!

10. A Friends …

Show her that your socially cool and normal by bringing her to a friends new play, band performance, bar tending gig, or house warming. This gives her a chance to see how cool your friends are (hopefully) and get to have some cool conversation.

Let’s Finish This List

I think I’m out of ideas. I want you guys to help me finish the top 20 date idea “templates”. We only have 10 more date ideas to finish this post.

Post your favorite date idea “template” in the comments below.

Here’s an incentive: The best date idea will win a copy of “Date To Win” by David Wygant. Provided generously without the prior knowledge of Mr Wygant.

Click WRITE A COMMENT under “WHAT NEXT” and outline your favorite date idea now. It’s that easy!

*Multiple entries are permitted*

]]> http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/2008/02/22/top-20-date-idea-templates-for-men/feed/ 82