Seduction Chronicles » Approaching Women

3 Ways To Make A Great Woman Notice You

Editor — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 20:54:48 +0000

Do you know why 99% of men get INSTANTLY REJECTED when they approach a high-quality woman?

I know you think you know the answer, but I can almost guarantee that YOU DON’T.

Fact is, after watching so many men rely on their looks…
their bank accounts…
lame “pick up” lines and memorized “scripts”…

All of this just to get the attention of high-quality women, here’s what I realized:

The REAL reason these guys STILL get rejected has ZERO to do with these things. The *REAL* reason most guys get rejected is simply this:

High-quality women come “pre-wired” with an idea of what they want in their personal “Mr. Right”.

These are the qualities that get their attention in the first place. These are the qualities that make them want to connect more deeply and emotionally with a particular man. These are the qualities that make them want to GET PHYSICAL with a particular man. All of which is why relying on looks, money, “lines” and “gimmicks” are a fool’s errand when it comes to succeeding with great women!

IN REALITY, all of these gimmicks and mind-games usually have exactly the OPPOSITE effect. They make a great woman experience that “Oh no, not this again…” feeling and instantly become disinterested. They instantly send the lethal “signal” that a man is NOT coming from a place of personal confidence and strength. In other words… a place where he could possibly be her ultimate “Mr. Right.” This is why, whenever I talk about approaching a great woman in the “right” way, I’m ACTUALLY talking about sending her the “right” signals, right from the start.

And this is something that YOU (or ANY man) can start doing TONIGHT by doing 3 things when you first meet a great woman:

Buckle in, here they come…

#1: USE PROPER BODY LANGUAGE

SHOCKER: Body language is almost MORE important than words when you first meet a great woman!
This is why most guys INSTANTLY destroy any chance of success by acting nervous… submissive… even (gag) apologetic when they approach a woman.

This sends the INSTANT signal that they aren’t ANY woman’s “Mr. Right” which INSTANTLY shuts down her receptiveness to being approached.

Sounds like a hopeless, vicious cycle, right?

Well, it is. In the meantime, let’s move on to the next way to make a great woman notice you:

#2: START A GREAT CONVERSATION

How many times do I have to say it. When it comes to getting noticed by quality women, the best way to “flirt” is to know how to start (and carry on) a great conversation. And to do it, I recommend that all grown men take a page out of the Boy Scout handbook… and BE PREPARED.

That means always continuing to EDUCATE yourself. It means always having a few “hot” current topics in your back pocket and being well-versed on them. It means mentally rehearsing them if you have to so that you can converse in a smooth, confident way.

Here’s a great way to make all of that happen:

I recommend reading one major newspaper cover-to- cover every day… there’s no better way to get a “crash course” on what’s happening in the world and the ability to speak on it intelligently. Now, mix in some intelligent HUMOR to the conversation (study comedy books if you have to) and you’ll suddenly find TONS of great women opening the door to the possibility that you just might be their “Mr. Right”.

For example:

Once you’ve started a conversation, if a woman says something like, “I usually don’t go out with guys I haven’t known for a long time,” be ready with a cocky / funny observation AND then make it highlight one of your personal qualities!

One of my favorite ways to do it is to say something like, “Gee, I hope you’ve already met your future husband then, and that he’s half as (smart… tall… funny… wonderful… whatever) as me…” See what’s happening there? I’m using the power of being Cocky & Funny… while ALSO signaling my “Mr. Right” qualities.

This works like MAGIC because CONFIDENCE and HUMOR are, by far, the top traits that women use to “size up” a man. There ARE no close seconds. That in mind…

#3: LOWER THE STAKES

No doubt about it: the biggest reason men have trouble with #1 and #2 is because they’re so TENSE… so NERVOUS… even SO SCARED when they meet a great woman. And it’s all because they feel like there’s so much AT STAKE. In other words, most guys are so worried that they’re going “blow it” and embarrass themselves. Or they’re so certain that, if they DO blow it, they’re doomed to never have a chance with a great woman again that they start sabotaging themselves right from the beginning.

This is why I suggest that men look at EVERY first meeting with a woman as one of MANY to come and then act accordingly!

Act like you’re meeting with a good buddy or an old friend for a casual outing… and then BEHAVE that way.

Even better:

Imagine how you’d act on a first date if you were behaving like you KNEW with 100%-certainty that a woman already thought you were her Mr. Right…

What would you do?

Here’s what….

You’d ask MEANINGFUL questions about her deeper interests and passions instead of making nervous “small talk.” You’d PAY ATTENTION to her answers and follow up in smart, appropriate ways. You’d REMEMBER what was important to her, and focus on those subjects.

Okay, I know, I know…

“Imagining” all of this sounds like a big shift in the way most guys think… And YOU’RE RIGHT. It actually IS. But — once YOU can make this change to your so- called “inner game” — it will result in a HUGE change in how easy it is for you to get the attention of great women. In fact… it will start to happen AUTOMATICALLY!!!

Once you do, I’m confident that EVERY part of your life will begin to run more smoothly. You’ll begin to feel like you’re on “auto-pilot” as you make all of the right moves in life and with great women every time… just because it’s all coming naturally (from DEEP inside you) to do it!

Bottom line:

When it comes to getting great women to notice YOU, it’s the qualities that identify you as a potential “Mr. Right” that will peak their interest. So focus on building THOSE traits inside yourself, and you’ll NEVER have to rely on looks, money, canned “lines” or stale “scripts” again…

Great women will receive the signal loud and clear about who you REALLY are (and everything that you REALLY have to offer) and start paying major attention to YOU.

I guarantee it: once this starts happening, you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it and why you waited so long to get it!

Join thousands of other men and download my best-selling ebook Double Your Dating, by clicking here right now.

Until next time…

Your friend,
David DeAngelo

Are All Women The Same?

David Wygant — Mon, 23 May 2011 19:12:34 +0000

Here is something that I want every guy in the world to remember, and it’s something really important. Once you get this, it is something that will help you to grow immensely.

And here is what I want you to remember: Every woman is wired the exact same way. I don’t care if she is tall, short, fat, skinny, yellow, green, purple, orange or blue. It doesn’t make a difference. Every woman is wired the exact same way.

It is how you look at their mask that determines how most guys talk to them. When you walk up to a woman to whom you are not attracted, she is not thinking “This is guy is talking to me because he is not attracted to me.” What she is thinking is, “I’m a cool girl. This guy is talking to me because I’m a hot and sexy.”

Ask any single woman to set you up with one of her friends, and do you know what she’ll say to you? She will say something like, “I’m going to hook you up with my friend Mary. She’s so cute, it’s unbelievable.” Then you go and pick Mary up for the date, and Mary is not cute at all. When you tell the woman who set you up that you didn’t think Mary was cute at all, she will disagree and say that she is very cute.

Every woman thinks that all of her friends are beautiful. That is because every woman is beautiful.

For every woman out there that you don’t find attractive, there are a ton of guys who will think she’s very attractive. There are a ton of guys out there who will think that woman is hot.

So many guys can walk up to a woman they find unattractive and talk to them with no problem. If those same guys walk up to a woman they find attractive, though, they talk to her like she’s an alien.

Those two women are wired the exact same way. If you can talk to a woman to whom you are not attracted, then you can talk to a woman you think is hot.

Attractive women and unattractive women are are all attractive women to someone. You might look at my girlfriend and not think she is pretty at all. I don’t really care, because I know what I think about her.

So when you approach a woman, you need to remember that if you can talk to any woman then you can talk to all women. I tell guys all the time to go out and flirt with 80 year old women.

Find the ones who are wearing makeup, because they are the ones who still see themselves as the beautiful 20 year old girl they once were. If you can talk to them and be charming, they will smile and laugh with you.

They are no different than the 25 year old woman you want to approach. They’re all the same. That is something that took me a long time to realize. Women are all exactly the same. So if you can talk to one, you can to them all.

If I put masks on every woman out there so that all you could see was long hair, you would never “choke” when you tried to talk to any of them. You’d be able to talk to each and every one of them.

It is only when I took off their masks that you would realize to which ones you are attracted and you would start freaking out. Think about in that hypothetical how silly it is that you freak out when you see a woman you find attractive. You can talk to any woman right now, so go out there and do it!

Get more from David Wygant by checking out his dating tips and advice by subscribing to his free dating tips newsletter by clicking here.

When Meeting Women, Rejection Does Not Exist

David Wygant — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 19:07:30 +0000

I’m going to tell you something that you might not believe, but it is 100% true so pay attention: There is no such thing as rejection!

Rejection is just an insecurity in your own mind. Think about it, rejection doesn’t really exist. It is a made-up thought and a made-up word.

How many of you have had this happen: You go out on one date with someone. You like them, and thought they were the coolest person in the entire world. So you call them after the date, and they never call you back.

Did you you feel totally rejected by this? Did you bring all your friends into the conversation, and ask them what you can do in that situation? Did you spend all kinds of time trying to figure out if the person likes you and whether they will every call you back? When you don’t hear from them, did you spend all kinds of time trying to figure out why they didn’t call?

Whenever anybody asks me any of these kind of questions, I always tell them the same thing. I always say, “Give me their number. I will get on the phone with them right now, and I will find out whether or not they are going to call you (or why they didn’t call you). It will be fun. We’ll call them together, and we’ll find out whether they like you.”

As silly as that sounds, that is actually the only way you will ever really know the answers to all of these questions you spend hours and days mulling over with your friends. Even worse, remember that every day you spend feeling that made-up emotion of rejection, is another day you are wasting not meeting other people.

Always go by the “72 hour rule.” Give someone 72 hours to call you back (or to call you after a date if you’re a woman). 72 hours, and that’s it. That is as long as you give yourself to sit around hoping and waiting for that phone call. Then you go out there and start meeting people again.

The longer you wait in that “rejection zone,” the more opportunities you miss to meet someone else really amazing. So it’s time to get out of the rejection zone, which really doesn’t even exist anyway.

Rejection does not exist. It is a made-up thought and a made-up emotion.

You are not rejected by anybody. People have a choice, just like you have a choice. You have a choice not to call someone back or to go out with someone on a second date. So does everyone else.

It’s all about choices. You have just been completely caught up in the subject of what someone else’s choices are or might be.

So someone else decided they didn’t want to call you. You’ve made the choice not to call someone at times. The shoe is on the other foot in that situation, but if you think about it I bet you did not think about your choice as rejecting the other person. You were just making a choice. Yet when it is the other person making the choice, you feel rejected.

Think about that and how crazy that is. It makes no sense, does it now? So the next time you think you have been rejected, remember what it was like when the shoe was on the other foot.

Get your dating life fixed by learning more from one of the world’s best dating coaches: David Wygant. Click here to get some quick and easy tips.

The Napkin Close

David Wygant — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 05:24:34 +0000

The other day I was with a client in Baja Fresh and he saw a woman he just could not take his eyes off of. So what did I have him do and how is a napkin such a powerful meeting tool?

I was sitting across from my client and we needed a few napkins. I turned around and standing right in front of the napkins was this really cute brunette that my client had been eyeballing.

In this situation what can you do to speak with her? As you know, I don’t believe in routines and pick up lines.

1. they can smell a line a mile away, and
2. you need to learn how to connect with a woman so she is all excited that she met you.

So my client and I went over what I would do in this situation and he being the great listener and learner did exactly this.

He walked over and as he was walking over he gathered information in his head: she was right in front of the napkins so this was going to be real easy. He walked over with no hesitation and said excuse me are you the napkin guarder? He smiled as he said it she was quick with a response.

“Yes I am I am all about protecting the napkins,” she said with a smile. So now they went back and forth about the napkins and he looked around and saw that the forks were right next to the napkins so he asked her, “Are you also the protector of the forks and spoons”?

Now before I tell you what she said, I need to explain why he changed the subject. You need to move the conversation forward. You can not keep going around in circles and by doing this it shows that you are playful. He opened her with a tease and busted her about being the napkin police. Now you need to look around and find other talking points to move the conversation forward.

“I am all about the napkins, maybe next time we can talk about the forks,” she said. So she dropped her first hint about the next time. “Well see what happens,” he respond confidently. He smiled at her and walked away. Now why did he walk away? Well, he knew that he had her and she still needed to place her food order so she was not going anywhere and the power of walking away really turns them on. It shows that you are confident and it leaves them guessing and face it, we all like a bit of mystery in our lives. So he sat back down and ate some of his food and about 4 minutes later walked back up and busted her one last time. She was waiting for her food in the wrong area.

“Hey Napkin Girl…I know your job is to guard the napkins but you are standing in the wrong area!”
He smiled and she laughed and they kept chatting about food and stuff. She then got her food and he peeked into her bag to see what she had (he did this to find out if she had 2 meals in there, always need to find out if she is single without asking). Never ask a woman if she has a boyfriend. If she is on the fence she will always make up one so you don’t ask her out. When you ask a woman out assume that she is single.

So what do you do in this situation, up until this point you have totally intrigued her and had some fun with her.

This is what I call a foundation so you can ask her out and she is intrigued by you. Most men will try a routine on a woman and even if they get the number the woman will leave feeling all confused. Why would she be confused with a routine? Well, once she processes what happened she will start to have a weird feeling about the whole thing.

What I teach is to be natural, when you are natural a woman will feel all comfortable and she will be more intrigued by you and your boldness and confidence.

How do you close her in this situation? Here are 3 ways to do just that.

1. You grab a few forks and tell her to grab a few more napkins. She will do as you tell her because up to this point it has been all about fun. Now look at her and say: “Perfect we now have all the napkins and forks for the next time when we grab some burritos. What’s your number?”

2. Or you can just say: “Nice meeting you tonight have a great dinner.” And as she is about to leave, you let her take the first few steps and then you say: “Hey Courtney, wait….give me your number – we need to grab some napkins together real soon.” This approach will bring her back to the original fun opener and the first close will make her anticipate the next meeting.

3. One last thing…. wait about an hour and text her this: How was your nachos…did you have enough napkins:) Add your name so she knows who you are and you will make her smile again.

We will talk more about why the follow up text is so important another day.

‘Till then.

Oh and did he get her number? Mystery and Intrigue is so much fun.

I’ll leave that up to your imagination but I will not be seeing my client on our usual Thursday night outing if that is enough of a clue…

Want to do what this guy did? Download David Wygant’s Date To Win.

Overcoming Approach Anxiety

Editor — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 23:03:12 +0000

A Series on Approach Anxiety by Paul Janka
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Most men get anxious at the prospect of approaching an attractive woman because they don’t know what to expect. That is due to a lack of experience. As you get more comfortable learning how to pick up women, you will start to appreciate how similar women are, and you’ll develop standard ways to overcome their objections or make them laugh by teasing them or engaging them in an unusual manner. And, more generally, you’ll develop an ease and comfort with other people -even strangers – that will translate nicely into a confidence that women find irresistible.

Perhaps you’ve heard some of the advice out there in the dating and seduction community -things like the 3-second rule and approaching with high energy. Those are valid techniques. But, of course, both can fail: what if you can’t get to her in three seconds for some reason? What if you’re in a subdued environment that makes a “high energy” approach weird?

In general, I think it makes sense to approach a woman immediately upon seeing her to avoid a mental “psyche-out” or so you can act before the situation changes, making her less accessible. Of course, I’ve often observed a woman for a time only to see her boyfriend emerge from a bathroom or come through the door. There’s no harm in ever approaching a single woman, however, because how were you supposed to know? Also, I think that if a shy guy needs to boost his confidence by invoking a “high energy” state, that can possibly work. However, it may just amplify his nervousness, making the situation even more awkward. Or, his efforts may seem so forced or desperate that the woman is turned off. Experiment with these and other techniques that the “seduction guys” promote.

As a man who’s slept with many dozen women and approached thousands, I’ll tell you there’s only one certain method of eliminating approach anxiety: volume. Human beings are learning organisms and we learn to adapt to situations if we’re given repeated attempts at a task. It’s no different here. If you can handle some rebuffs (perhaps many) you’ll eventually learn the subtleties of what works and what doesn’t. Eventually, interacting with a beautiful woman will become your duty and very natural. That’s not to say all will yield to your charm, but you’ll feel entitled to and compelled to approach attractive women.

A final tip: a mental “psyche up” can get you in front of her – “I know I can! I know I can!” -but that’s just the beginning. If your natural state isn’t “charming, flirty” then you’ll slide back to your default personality. And, the only way to develop the personality that attracts women – a carefree and funny attitude – is toreally develop it, by putting in the miles, with many women.

So get out there and start saying “hi” to women, incorporating the techniques you’re reading about. I’ll tell you this: twenty cold approaches to women will teach you more than most dating books ever could.

To The Good Life,
Paul Janka

Click Here to learn Paul Janka’s pickup secrets in his book, The Attraction Formula.

Ditch The PUA Mentality and Really Turn Her On

David Wygant — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 00:12:17 +0000

It’s Friday night and I am sure a bunch of you guys are going to be out on the prowl. I am sure some of you have your routines all ready to go, all you need is a willing and able drunk girl who will buy into your planned course of action.

Heres the deal the above statement really does not work in the long run.

Sure you may grab a phone number from the overly drunk girl in the corner but the smart sexy women.
Nope they want you to approach them and connect with them just as I state in todays video.

Are you ready to ditch the routines and become a man that women desire?

If so watch this before you go out tonight and repeat the same mistakes as last Friday night!

Read more from David Wygant at his official blog by clicking here

What If Your Opener Bombs?

David Wygant — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 19:18:38 +0000

A client of mine just asked me a great question, and I wanted to share it with all of you. He asked me, “What if I walk over to a woman and I say something that I think is absolutely hilarious, and she looks at me with a snotty look on her face and says ‘that’s not funny?’”

I told him that there is something I do every time in this situation. The first thing I do is stay in the situation, because I am a man of confidence, strength and conviction.

What I will do is look her directly in the eyes and say, “Well, obviously we don’t have the same sense of humor. It’s a good thing we found this out right now, before we got romantically involved.”

I’ll say it with a smile on my face. I bust her really hard on what she said.

I’ve done this a lot. What happens is that she’ll start cracking up and will say some something like, “Oh my God, now THAT’s funny!” Then I’ll say, “What? Funny that you and I are dating, or funny that you and I don’t have the same sense of humor?”

So do you see how this scenario can go very differently when you go into it with no fear, and when you challenge someone on what they say? You need to go into these situations not so outcome-oriented.

A lot of times guys will go into a situation like this thinking, “I’m going to go and flirt with her right now. I’m going to hope that she responds to me so I can get her number (even though I don’t even know anything about her yet).”

So by being not so outcome-derived, it allows you to speak your mind and allows you to eliminate being intimidated by somebody. Also, by challenging someone you are pushing them a little bit.

For example, the woman in the “that’s not funny” scenario above may have not thought what you said was funny because of nothing having to do with what you actually said. She might have been thinking about something else, like her friend yelling at her earlier that day, and she took it out on you.

Staying in the situation and challenging her like I’ve described gives you the opportunity to maybe turn the situation around. So the next time a woman tells you “that’s not funny,” say exactly what I said to say in this blog and then let the fun begin!

Learn more from David Wygant by downloading his book Date To Win at his official website now

Chasing the Night

David Wygant — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 19:55:10 +0000

Happy Friday!! Are you going to chase the night tonight or attract the night?

This blog is part of a live coaching from a recent trip to London with a client. Hopefully these exchanges with my client will give you an idea of my coaching style. Consider it a sneak peek into what I do when I am coaching clients and leading bootcamps!

David: Men will spend half of their adult lives ‘ctn’ – they spend half of their lives chasing the night. If you think about it, guys go out on a Friday night, and there’s always one or two guys that want to have fun and talk to their friends. The other ones will be looking around the room, they’ll have one drink and get impatient because there are no women there – even though they haven’t really met women very often anyway – and they have to run to the next place. They spend the whole night trying to figure out what the best place is.

But the best place – which is so ironic – is where you are in the first place. If you spend the time laughing and having fun with your friends, you’ll start attracting people. Women will wonder why you’re having such a good time and you’re not being like the typical male chasing the night.

There’s another scary term – on Saturday nights, there are guys that are ‘ctw’ – chasing the week. They don’t have any skills to go out and meet people during the day, and they haven’t gotten that concept yet, and they realize that if they don’t make something happen on Saturday night, that they have to wait all the way until next Thursday or Friday night for something to work.

So then Saturday night has an even more desperate energy, because men are walking around chasing the week. You can see the desperation in their eyes, you can watch it. You know you’ve done it, and you’ve seen guys that have done it even more. There are packs of guys that are walking around your neighborhood, in the bars, looking around like this – they can’t even concentrate at all.

It’s the guys that are twisting their heads around in every direction. Think about it – when a guy is doing that, it’s not attractive to a woman! A woman is looking at that guy and thinking, holy shit, what is wrong with him? The guys stare like this, and they don’t say anything, they start drinking a little bit – to get their liquid courage on in order to chase the week.

The pressure is building because they know that they screwed up chasing the night the night before, and then usually when they get home after chasing the night or the week, it’s like they have to come down from it. And then you realize that the woman that you saw at the beginning of the night was the one you probably should have talked to in the first place, and then you think well, what could I have said? It’s usually something that comes to you from a simple observation. It comes to you four hours later because you’re no longer in this unbelievable mode of chasing.

It’s a very funny thing. One great exercise to do (and I do this all of the time) is to go out on a Friday night and look at the guys chasing the night, and then look at the women reacting to those guys – just be an observer. When those guys finally go up and approach a woman, watch how quickly she rejects them. She’s noticed him from all different angles – she’s noticed the way that he was looking, she noticed that he didn’t walk over right away.

There’s a reason why women go out in packs: they’re protecting themselves from these ‘ctn’ guys. If they went out alone and they had the guys chasing the night or the week all over them, forget about it! This poor woman would be bombarded with annoying guys all night long. So that’s where the chilling out comes from.

Robert: It kind of reminds me as well of stock trading. It’s like you’re chasing the price as opposed as waiting patiently for it to go, which I know will happen eventually, but you chase the price. And I’ve lost a ton of money doing that!

I admit it, I’ve done it a few times, and I know what I’ve done wrong. It was against the rules; I know that you’re not supposed to chase the price. You just shouldn’t do it. But you’re thinking, oh, but this time, and it never works.

David: And the stock market is all psychology. It’s all human emotions and psychology. So you’re looking at a candle chart, and you see your entry point. You don’t get in because you don’t believe it, even though the formula tells you to get in. Everyone else is watching the same formula, and you still don’t get in. It goes up a little bit, and you still don’t believe it, it goes up a little bit more and you start thinking, holy shit, if I would have just trusted the formula, I would have already made $.20 on it!

So what do you do next? You think it’s going to go down, but it goes up a little bit more, and then what do you do? You, and the other people who were chasing the price, go in. At that point, the stock goes up a nickel and you say to yourself, oh, it went up! Then you see the candle and you’ve got that candle that doesn’t know what direction it’s going to go next. That’s you!

You’re in there, and then what do you see next? Things sink! Because everybody who got in 30 cents ago when they were trusting the whole process bailed out, and then you’re stuck, chasing the price once again. That’s how you lose money. You think, well, it’s going to go up again – but you already missed the boat.

I did the same thing when I was trading. I wouldn’t trust it, and then I would get in too late, and then I’d be there during the downward slope. It’s a great analogy.

Robert: Yeah, I’ve done it. Just this year, I’ve done very small trades as an exercise. I was just trying to be very observant. And it went in my direction. It was really about discipline. But as soon as I put in some big money – I kept thinking, it’s not going to work, and I’d get out, and it was very premeditated.

And then when I did something that was “against the rules,” I would think, oh, I don’t know what I’m doing, and that would work. I learned I needed to be observant, and be patient.

David: Well, think about this: the thing about stock that really goes against all of the rules is that this stock is really a beautiful woman. The little stocks you mastered – these are women that you’re not attracted to. And the bigger stocks are beautiful women and you treat that big stock differently. Really, you needed to treat them the same way, because the same rules apply every time. It doesn’t fluctuate, and it doesn’t change. That’s a great analogy, and a great lesson.

Robert: It is. No matter what you say to yourself, the rules are the same.

David: Life doesn’t change. The formula in life is the same for everything we do, except for our social life and the stock market, where we’ve done other things.

Todays video will teach you how to lay off the CTN…chasing the night mentality and be more of a natural with women.

Learn more from David Wygant by reading his free dating tips at his website and by downloading his book “Date To Win”.

Perfect Your Timing For A Perfect Pick Up

Editor — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 22:05:03 +0000

Your approach should follow a “movie trailer” format. Keep it short, condensed, intriguing and light. You want to leave right when she’s most interested. And you need to leave with the phone number, or the whole act is worthless.

Intercede during a moment of transition or confusion. For example, if she’s on the street and seems lost or unsure about directions, that’s your moment. In a department store, approach her as she’s looking for a check-out register. These moments of change are opportunities for you to present yourself and you won’t have to break her concentration because it’s already broken. She’s in need of assistance and you’re there to help!

The best approaches are the ones that seem most natural. She’s walking slowly and you sidle up next to her; she’s at the counter ordering something and you come forward to order, as well; she’s waiting at a stoplight and so are you. These situations create conditions in which a casual comment by a stranger (you) isn’t unusual or weird. Also, you will learn to spot opportunities that allow for a brief ongoing conversation.

For example, I just picked up an attractive Persian woman with beautiful breasts here on Madison Avenue. After chatting for a minute and exchanging phone numbers, I indicated we should keep walking (walking is naturally less awkward than standing still; a “dynamic” pick-up is much easier than a “static” pickup, because your proposition isn’t so direct and obvious). We walked to the end of the block and then I told her I had to cross because I was going to Central Park. That wasn’t the case, but I knew that walking with her for another block would be awkward; we’d already traded numbers and talked about getting together tonight or tomorrow. Do not go deeper than this on initial contact. She leaves feeling excited and intrigued; I leave on a positive note after a successful pick-up.

Everyone’s happy.

The issue of timing is key to creating an effective dynamic. Too early and you looked rushed and desperate, too late and you look incompetent. An example: you sit next to a cute girl on the subway and start a conversation. You don’t know when she’s going to get off. Her stop could be next or you may have twenty minutes to chat. You need to ask her at what stop she’s getting off, so you can plan. Then ask for her number thirty seconds before you part ways. If you ask for it too soon, she may balk because you haven’t established enough rapport. Also, once you’ve made your play for the number and indicated sexual/romantic interest, you don’t have anywhere to go, conversationally. It’s like telling the punch line of joke right off and then continuing with the set-up. The whole momentum of the conversation was intended to build to asking her out, and now you’re flat. If you don’t believe me, try it. Also, if you ask for her number right before something forces you apart, she’s more apt to give-in because of the urgency of the situation. If she’s at all interested, she’ll give you the number because she wants to maintain the option of reconnecting.

Also, once you’ve asked a girl out (which is what you’re doing by getting the number) she may eye you a bit differently. Before, you were just a nice, cute guy making conversation. All of a sudden you’re a possible lover/boyfriend/husband, etc. Don’t underestimate the female mind. Once you’re in the new category, you’ve made progress, but your words and actions will come under increased scrutiny. It’s best to exit and save your game for another day when you can set conditions to reflect favorably on you.

You can learn more about approaching women like a real man on my website.

Focus On Her To Execute A Smooth Pick Up

Editor — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 17:44:36 +0000

by Paul Janka

Capturing a woman’s attention is a skill men have been perfecting for millennia. There are many ways of doing so, and it can be done by creating any number of emotional states: intrigue, awe, affection, fear, hatred, lust, etc. And, men have invented what we call “society” to serve them in their efforts. As Aristotle Onassis once remarked, “If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.”

We have built skyscrapers with corner offices, Lamborghini Diablos, Savile Row suits, and gorgeous yachts for ourselves, surely, but for the attention they’ll garner, as well. So, while there are plenty of ways to get a woman’s attention, each man must develop a strategy that best suits his particular financial position and social standing.

I’m going to address the challenge of attention in its most distilled, pure form: at the interpersonal level. I know from experience you don’t need expensive props, fancy clothes, or fame to sleep with gorgeous woman. But, you do need something that is just as hard to develop: focus. But, the good news is that most men can develop it with some practice. What do I mean by focus?

With focus you can give women what they really want: an intense connection. The more you develop this skill, the deeper you can penetrate a woman in broad daylight, in the middle of a busy street corner. She’ll allow you in just a bit, if she’s interested, and it’s up to you to push deeper so she feels you presence. She’ll appreciate this and it will arouse her. Focus is nothing magical. It’s simply the intensity and singleness of purpose that allows you, as a man, to hone in on a beautiful woman, stop her and engage her, despite the loud bus driving by, the pedestrians brushing past and the jackhammer across the street drowning out your attempts at conversation.

Focus is a mindset where everything else fades into insignificance. For that one minute, she’s all you need and all you see. You take in everything she does or says (or doesn’t do or say) and consider it. In that minute, you’re un-distractible and unflappable. If you can demonstrate this level of focus, you’ll win the girl, every time. So few men in her life give her that level of attention (even if she’s gorgeous, believe it or not) that she’ll feel your male presence. This has nothing to do with how handsome or well-dressed you are. It has to do with confidence and knowing you own the moment. You’re the guide, the mentor, the boss, the champion – call it what you want. These sixty seconds alone with her are yours. She’ll give them to you. Who wouldn’t? Rarely in our daily lives do we meet people so intense, so connected to the moment, that when we do, we can’t look away.

The good news is that this ability to focus will increase with practice. Conjure it by thinking of your most intense moments: the racquetball court, an important exam, driving on a back-country road, making love… Pretty soon, the sight of a sexy woman on a street corner or approaching at a quick pace will snap you into focus so you can penetrate the chaos surrounding her and present your best self.

You can learn more about how to approach women using the most direct and smoothest techniques on my website.