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I want to share a personal story with all of you today. You know that I rarely talk about my personal life on the blog – it’s not really that I don’t want to share it with 10,000 people every day – it’s just that personal life is personal!

I just don’t like to put my personal life out there. I’ve never been a kiss-and-tell kind of guy.

But I want to talk today about not caring. So many of you care too much and I’m getting WAY too many emails about how much you care about this one person who blew you off.
I’ve written about this several times, but for some reason or another, I just feel the urge to write about it again. I find that many of you put all of your eggs in one basket and you just care TOO MUCH.

About 2 months ago I went out with a new woman I had met. I’d say that the first hour of the date was mediocre at best. It just wasn’t really that much fun. But the second hour of the date was much more interesting and I actually became quite intrigued by her as the second hour progressed.

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I do yoga once or twice a week with a private yoga instructor – yeah, that’s right, I’m very LA. I go to a yoga studio a few days a week and I have a private instructor the rest of the time.

So tonight during yoga, my yoga instructor Olivia and I were talking. We were talking about yoga and just life in general. I’ve been doing yoga for about two years now, and I have to tell you – before I started yoga I had hamstrings that were about as flexible as the 405. I had shoulders that if you pinned me back a certain way, not only would they not touch the ground – they would scream their way back up in the other direction.

After practicing yoga for a couple of years, each day my hamstring moves a little bit more. Each time I do yoga, my shoulders touch the ground a little bit more. Every day I get a little bit further in my practice.

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I have this concept called “The 10 p.m. Rule.” The biggest mistake men make on a Friday night is . . . going out on a Friday night. Most men tend to gear up for a Friday night that never ever takes off. How many times have you been out on a Friday night where the only thing in your hand at the end of the evening is a bill an an empty bottle of beer?

Women go out on a Friday night to communicate with their friends. Now, granted, if they meet somebody that is a huge bonus. But most of the time, they’re going out to bond.

Men head out on a Friday night with a hunter and gatherer mentality. They go out with the sole purpose of meeting women, and their energy is thus very desperate and pack-like. So what can a man do to assure his success in meeting women on a Friday night? This is where my “10 p.m. Rule” comes into play.

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I get a great question all of the time from both men and women: what do you do when you see someone who you are attracted to who is walking their dog, and you think, man, I really want to meet them?

Most people make a common mistake in this situation. Instead of going directly to the dog – I’m not talking about lurching at the dog so it bites you – but instead of putting your hand out and going directly to the dog and talking to the dog and getting to know it, people will just make a passive comment about the dog in a monotone voice. “I like your dog.”

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The following is a talk I gave to a client at a weekend bootcamp. This is a great example of my direct one-on-one coaching during bootcamps.

Whenever you try too hard in life to get people to like you, you push everybody away.

When you do this, you’re too over the top and you’re generally not listening to people. You’re actually overwhelming them.

It’s like a Golden Retriever: have you ever gone over to someone’s house and they have a Golden Retriever, and you’ve never met this dog before, but the dog will just not leave you alone? It just keeps running over to you, bringing you its ball, and all of its toys and everything?

In a dog, this is a great quality. In a human – well, you don’t want to be a human Golden Retriever.

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“Live the life you love. Love the life you live.”

These are the exact words on the charm on my dog’s collar. It’s interesting that a five year-old black Labrador can be walking around with a statement that most people don’t follow.

Think for a second. You are trying to attract (note that the key word here is “attract”) a member of the opposite sex for you to date. Most people don’t understand the art of attraction, and they spend their nights chasing the opposite sex in places that they’re not having fun.

Let’s go deeper into this. What makes you think that if you go out on a Friday or Saturday night, that you are going to meet somebody . . . especially if you have never really met somebody interesting before on a Friday or Saturday night?

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