How I Got Rid of My Approach Anxiety Problem Once and For All

by David Wygant on February 24, 2012

Do you ever sit down and write down goals?

I know a lot of you right now are working on your basics: overcoming the fear of approaching, actually approaching, and getting a date. Mastering these would be an accomplishment right now for some of you.

Some of you are a little more seasoned. You’ve been in relationships, have an idea of who you are, what you want, but you still want to be able to date any woman. And you know what I mean by any woman. You can’t just walk up to any single woman and think that you’re going to connect with them, because it is all about chemistry and you’ve got to understand that right from the get-go.

Here is the deal: successful people in life, no matter what they do, set goals and they work hard every single day.Do you put in enough time every day to become the best version of you?

When I first started going out there and meeting women, I was in my 20s. Now in college I was okay. I was the guy who had been rumored to have slept with a ton of girls because I was always seen with them. I would leave the club with them, I would leave the bar with them, but I have got to tell you something: my closing skills were horrific.

They were awful. I couldn’t close worth a damn. I was so afraid to go in for the kiss; I was so afraid to touch; I would just walk them back to their dorm room. I would not even invite myself in, not even try, I would just walk away and I would be thrown right into the friend zone.

But what is funny is, is that I was always seen with all these girls so I had the reputation of having slept with almost every single girl on campus, and that helped get me more dates. That helped me getting me more hook ups when I was able to hook up with them.

Later on in my 20s though I decided I really wanted to be different because I was no longer living in school and I realized that I had to work on all this stuff. I was living in New York City. I became a bartender in New York City, and when you’re a bartender–man–you should have no problem getting laid.

I didn’t have a problem getting laid. I had a problem connecting with the women I really wanted. You see I played it safe for so long. I always played it safe. And it drove me crazy. I would go for the easy one, and one day I decided that I was going to change that. I wanted to become really great at meeting women, picking them up, whatever terminology you want to use.

So I went out every single day and I picked up women. I forced myself to talk to women. I forced myself to open up and I forced myself to do everything. I got so far out of my comfort zone every single day that I thought I was going to lose my mind. I felt out of control, but I knew that in order to be successful I had to do that. I had to push myself.

Now, the big question for all of you right now is: how far do you push yourselves? Are you looking for the easy way out? Do you still believe there is a magic pill? Do you just read articles online or do you actually invest in programs that could help move you towards your goals faster?

Get clear with your goals and bring urgency to your life. The women are out there. And they’re waiting for you.

What are you waiting for? Get David Wygant’s dating tips in your inbox by subscribing to his free weekly dating tip emails, by clicking here.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Kyle Dillingham March 3, 2012 at 6:54 am

There is some REALLY good information in there! Thank you David. I have been a student of the game for about 5 years now. I absolutely remember the day I met my Mentor, a guy named Tom Rodriguez. I remember how completely HORRIFIED I was to open anyone! I mean, I would have rather been front kicked in the face my Anderson “the spider” Silva!

But I stayed at it. I think that’s the beauty of things in life. Every master started as …a DISASTER! We were all horrible!

Now when I go out, I can’t help but flirt with EVERYONE! It’s involentary. In fact, I don’t even game anymore! I just am. Am Myself. Am confident. Am charming. It’s crazy.

What the game taught me was not how to pick up women, but how to be comfortable with myself! I learned how to pick MYSELF up!

Some brief tips for those who are new to the game.

1. Schedule out an hour a day to sit/stand in front of the mirror and make faces at yourself. SERIOUSLY!! It worked for Jim Carry! Pretend you’re looking at a girl across the room and try to convey emotion through your eyes. You’d be shocked to find out that what you THINK means, “I’m interested in YOU,” turns out to be, “OH GOD PLEEZ MARRY ME!!!” Know the message you’re sending out.

2. Take some martial arts/self defense/MMA classes. MOST gyms or dojos will let you try the place out for a week or so. Remember my mentor Tom? It just so happens that he was a Muay Thai master. His story was somethin’ right out of a karate kid script. He was half Filipino half white and got beat the hell up because of it! So his uncle took him into the woods/jungle and taught him martial arts for 3 years! Martial Arts and Pick-up made me into the successful man I am today.

Until next time, stay curious.

Kyle D

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Richard March 31, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Sweet lord, it seems like you are me…
I have actually decided to do something against my inability to pickup girls by just going for it.
A friend of mine (Asian dude, wonder if he’ll ever get laid ;)) and I have decided to share the progress we’re making on a blog. We’ll also be discussing techniques and terms in the pickup community.

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