by Paul Janka, author of Attraction Formula.
Once you’ve made it past the approach and engagement and you’ve built a modicum of comfort, you need to act with authority and get the number. Some women will put up resistance, skeptical about giving their number to a man they’ve just met. Here are some classic objections and ways around:
Her: But I don’t know you!
Me: That’s what the cup of coffee is for, so we can get to know each other.
Her: I’m running late, sorry.
Me: That’s okay. I’m late, too. Let’s do this quickly.
Her: I don’t think my boyfriend would appreciate it!
Me: No problem. Give me your number. I’ll text you in a month. Still together – great! If not, we can have our coffee date…
The thing to remember here is that you only get one chance. It may be different if you live in a small town (though “small-town player” is an oxymoron), but in a big city you’ll have a single shot. If she walks away, you’re empty-handed. Being forceful or aggressive can always be justified or explained-away later, via text or in person. But, being a milquetoast and taking comfort in the fact that you “were nice” is pathetic. She’s forgotten about you by the next block; you were ineffective.
You must do everything you can to get her number. Even being pushy or insensitive is forgivable, if you really like the girl. Hopefully, she’ll have reciprocal interest. But, there will be times when you encounter a hottie who’s in a bad mood, or preoccupied, and yet you feel there’s promise. She may not be forthcoming at the moment, but if you can get her phone number, you’ll live to fight another day.
Another tactic to handle reluctant women: take their phone, say you’ll enter your number so they can call if they feel like it. After you’ve entered your number, hit “send” and wait. If you can keep her phone away from her for a few seconds, her number will show up on your caller ID. I’ve done this many times and it always works. They may feign annoyance, but they’ll gladly text with you and chances are you’ll easily recover. Remember, women love drama! Always better to make an impression (positive or negative) than none at all…
Never give up. I have a friend who is the king of recovering-from-the-pivot. That’s when a girl steps back, away from the guy, and half-turns as if to leave. Most women have a hard time being flatly rude and walking away, and my buddy uses this to his advantage. By waving them back and saying, “Come here for a sec…” and other persuasive lines, a girl can often be recovered from the brink. Once they turn fully away and start walking, though, you’ve lost. I never pursue at that point. I’m sure some percentage is recoverable, but they’ve made a mental turn along with their physical about-face, and it’ll take Herculean effort to open that door of opportunity again.
You can learn more about how to approach women on my website.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Don’t jump the gun. Don’t ask for a number before they’ve done enough to earn your interest. You’ll look desperate if you do. Wait until after you’ve made a connection, broken the touch barrier and received numerous signs of interest.
That’s irrelevant. “looking desperate” is your perception of yourself. I’ve gotten numbers within a minute that I’ve had easy hookups from. Women know men want sex. If you fit the shoe then they’ll choose you for it – no matter when or how you get their number. I agree though, you need to be touching naturally for you to portray yourself as sexual and interested in her.
Don’t be to much of in a hurry, if it’s ment to be then you will get the number.