It’s like this: if you’re the one guy a woman can talk to about stuff she never talked about before, you’ll stand out for her, always. She’ll remember that for a long time because 99% of the men out there are severely lacking any real conversational skills.

Why? Because most people listen with a “waiting to reply” mindset. They’re not really listening to someone, they’re taking turns replying and are waiting for THEIR turn. The first step to making that connection is moving towards seeking to understand before seeking to be understood.

I can just hear you think: “Yeah but I don’t want to make such an effort of getting the girl” and you’re so wrong! Like Kezia said, knowledge truly is power and I’ll tell you why! If you listen, REALLY listen, ask some follow up questions and let a woman talk, she’ll be giving you a TON of information. Guess what? You can use ALL OF THAT info to playfully tease her, be picky about, be challenging with, be dominant with, continue to build that connection later on… these are all things that create attraction.

That’s why I live by the following words: “Anything you say can and will be used against you… so keep talking!”

Your thoughts are very informative. I always learn something from what you write. Would love to read your book if you ever write one or have time for that. I was initially worried about this article because I thought you were going to preach the metrosexual way to connect with women, that’s the very reason I left Hollywood for Newport Beach. I’m too much a man, from the Marine Corps experience 20 years ago to the way I’ve lived life. Unfortunately, that is my vice because at times I feel I’ve step too far into manhood and my journey into researching the latest methods to connect with women are what I use to reengage with them, because I’ve found as I get older and wiser that beautiful socialized women are the highest value to me in life, not uncommon to all other, and I would like to be closer to them mentally and of course physically.

I don’t know if you read these comments, or care too, but I want to say as a man I don’t keep up a bravado. And that’s because I was raised by my mother, aunt, grandmother (the case in point is by women) who always taught me the values of showing respect, and kindness, to treat your women how you treat your mother, and I think she left out the part where the deep connection needs to be made. Because I always felt something missing. After reading part 1 of your article I feel more assured of myself talking with women, because I looked back on all my successful dates, and success in relationships, and it all started out with the women telling me “it feels like I’ve known you for years” and it was because of the deep connection I made with them, by showing commonalities without being over anxious about the encounter. Thank you so much for the (in my case, maybe not everyone else’s) reiteration. And keep up the good work giving us men a woman’s perspective on the subject of women. It’s hard to take advice from a man who is speaking on behalf of women with merely experience from his life with the opposite sex. Thanks

In the phrase “DO where bravado”, the word “where” should be “wear”.

-Amazing Rando