Progress & End Results
I’ve broken up with my girlfriend and have been getting back into the game. So, kinda starting from scratch because we dated so long.
BUT…
I’ve really noticed something.
I think it might be a GUY thing to do, that most MEN do without knowing it…
We like the END RESULT.
We go after the END RESULT.
What we don’t realize is, that when we don’t get that END RESULT… QUICKLY… we tend to get discouraged.
So what’s the solution?
I think the solution is focusing on the micro-results.
E.g. Get a girl laughing
E.g. Get a girl having a fun time with you
E.g. Get a girls phone number
Don’t worry about the end result just yet. Let’s focus on the beginning phases. It will build your confidence FAST. It will also make you more attractive. So… don’t be discouraged, just RE-FOCUS.
Don’t be thinking about 3-somes.
Don’t be thinking about getting an instant makeout.
Just be focused with approaching and saying “HI” or “Having a good night?”
And PROGRESS.
That’s how you become confident and excited.
You build on small micro-goals.
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Comment by Adonis on 9 July 2009:
Another way to look at this is to still go for the END RESULT but have lots of little END RESULTS.
It’s pretty much the same as the micro-results but sometimes just these little semantic changes can make a huge difference in your focus:
i.e. “If I can just approach the girls I am attracted to tonight, I have reached one of my end goals”, “if I can get her into a fun, flirty conversation I have reached an end goal”, “if I can get out of an interaction that’s going to lead nowhere quickly, END RESULT!” etc…
All these little END RESULT victories add up quickly. And you will feel like you really accomplished a lot….but then again, perhaps this is all just semantics!
Comment by Nathan on 14 July 2009:
so how does it feel to be ‘back in the game’? :p
Yeah I agree with you on the fact that so many guys focus on success, results and the glory. But also like you said most of the time they never succeed or get all that cool stuff they really want simply becuase they didn’t take the time to sit back and enjoy THE PROCESS.
When you start finding success (pleasure) in simply approaching girls, or in getting girls attracted to you, one step at a time – it really gives you a happy ‘in the moment’ buzz – learning how to enjoy the process of life (still with goals in mind) really helps you sit back, relax and BE that awesome guy all the women want
take care,
Nathan
Comment by Donovan on 14 July 2009:
@Adonis Very true, small end results. Nice.
@Nathan Exactly, the process is the fun!