In the last week, two more prime-time scripted television shows ripped off The Game and Mystery’s techniques. And of course perverted the message of the whole thing.
For those who haven’t been keeping score, last year, CSI Miami aired an episode about pickup artists with rival workshops, an undercover reporter infiltrating them, and murderous results.
Then there was Twins (the Sara Gilbert show), in which Gilbert’s nerdy high school friend returns transformed after having written a book about picking up women using techniques like negs.
And on a recent Ugly Betty episode, she interviews the writer of a book called Tap That: How to Score With Hot Bitches, which advocates the A.S.S. approach to meeting women (Approach, Subdue, Score).
TV writers seem especially fond of using use pua jargon like neg and peacocking, which one of us should probably get the Oxford English dictionary to include.
Anyway, I thought TV writers had their fill of The Game after these shows.
But then, the other week, on Big Bang Theory, one of the nerds, Howard, decides to try peacocking and negs, and strikes out miserably.
And then last week, on Criminal Minds, investigators chase after a man who’s taken a pickup workshop with a Mystery clone named Raven, and is now seducing and murdering innocent clubgoing women.
Do you sense a theme here?
It’s that the game is for creeps, losers, and killers.
And this kinda pisses me off.
Why?
Because it shames men out of seeking help for their issues. Help that could bring them out out of their social shells. Help that could make them much happier with themselves. Help that will, for most of them, lead at some point to marriage and children – and, in the meantime, lead to new experiences and friendships, not to mention some fun, consensual late nights.
The truth is, from the thousands upon thousands of successful AND botched pickups I’ve witnessed: The game poses a far greater threat to the guy than to the girl. And not one TV show has captured this. The real victims of the game are the guys who get so into it, they lose themselves. They lose the things that are special about them as individuals, they lose their direction in life, they lose their ability to relate normally to people.
And that is a minority of guys. Most are smart enough to get it, and blossom into amazingly cool, fun, successful guys. When it comes to violence in society, which these shows love to attribute to PUAs as an exciting plot twist, if you read the news, some of the most shocking crimes in society have been caused by men who have pent-up sexual desires but have either been rejected or just have no way to attain them. So they grow dark and bitter and hateful, and eventually lash out. Other instances of violence
(like school shootings and suicides) have been caused by people who felt like social outcasts. And other instances (like domestic abuse) stem from an attempt to take control over the victim.
(Of course, some people are just crazy, fucked-up sociopaths.)
The point is: when taught and learned correctly, the game socializes men.
And the more socialized people we have in this world, the less anti-social behavior we’ll see.
If fewer people feel powerless around and invalidated by others, than fewer people will resort to trying to get what they believe to be the upper hand through violence. So, rather than leading to more violence in the world, the game is at least a step toward leading guys to seek help with their issues and pointing to other attainable solutions.
Because the game is not about wearing a funny hat and insulting women.
It’s about becoming your best self and making the best possible first impression you can. It’s about understanding the rules that people use to make social and sexual and professional choices and alliances, and working effectively within that system. It’s about attracting others by learning to master yourself, rather than trying to control them. And it’s also about having fun when you go out, rather than cowering timidly in the corner.
Though the seduction community has its faults and shortcomings, I often think about what my life would have been like if I never discovered it. And I would have died having missed out on so much
of life, because I was so scared and timid and uncomfortable and mute around women and strangers.
And what worries me about these shows is that, psychologically, they make guys who feel socially ostracized feel even MORE ostracized and ashamed for trying to do something to change it.
So, in conclusion, we’re all going to have to band together and change the tide on this in television dramas and sitcoms. (Thanks to VH1, at least this is getting a better depiction on the reality show front.) Maybe we can make a show about a crime-solving team of pickup artists, who use their social skills to make connections and get information from people. Or maybe not.
But at least we can all do our part in encouraging anyone – male or female – to take whatever positive steps are necessary towards becoming a better, more attractive, more successful person who’s fully and fearlessly engaged in life.
Thanks for listening,
Neil Strauss
Magic Bullets is the step-by-step guide to seduction. Learn how to attract and seduce beautiful women with this award-winning eBook by pickup artist Savoy of Love Systems. Download it 
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
I remember watching that session Strauss did with the View a while back. The annoying chick was like, “so in this book you say there are two parts of game. One, the opener. Two, the ‘neg’.” *facepalm*
The whole “pickup artist” term has a negative connotation, so I’m not surprised that many shows are oversimplifying it in a negative way. I’m sure that in the future this trend will change as more and more people realize that pickup is more about positive change in yourself than anything.
Nice article.
You’re watching too much TV Neil! I mean, that’s what mainstream TV does to everything that starts out as valuable and meaningful… In some ways it’s a sign of the success of the movement!
Also the truth of these skill-sets cut both ways… For four years I’ve shared everything I’ve learned from all the PickUp artists and well… the way the mainstream is reacting is the same people initially react to the ideas if they are not presented in an appropriate context.
Perhaps this is a wake-up call to some of the teachers who pedal their products? As for an antidote, consider that David D and the Authentic Man Program teach about women being profoundly more perceptive and aware of the inner man beneath the outer man’s game running!
And consider that women who get swept away by the mystery “method” are obviously far less sophisticated and desirable than the ones who get swept away in the arms of men who go beyond “methods” and instead refine themselves to be completely congruent and authentic to the core!
Overall every teacher has something valuable to offer, it’s just that the teachings have to be filterd with good judgment and moral character… TV of course thinks they’ll never make money offering such a perspective.
anything that empowers men would be seen negatively by the media, No man can really change that, Neil should have thought about it if it really concerned him in the first place. He was glad making money off it and now realizes that men who are fairly new to the community may not sign up for bootcamps if its seen negatively..Nice try Neil
You’ve done some irreversible damage..now get going
The media makes it’s money of off peoples fears and inadequacies…if every man became self sufficient and powerful, it would be detrimental to it’s cash flow and influence. It would be reduced to mere entertainment (which is what it’s supposed to be anyway) rather than the reference table that it’s always been. Without people to look to the media for guidance and an identity…it will lose cash.
Some food for thought…
I want to star as a crime-fighting seduction Super-Guru who teaches PUA during the day, but at night patrols the streets of Marina del Rey, California, keeping female Swedish exchange students safe from marauding pirates and Mongol hordes.
Can I, Neil, can I?
RJ
93/93
Check out my Coaching Program for just $1 right here:
http://www.rjcoaching.com
Neil, I see your point, but you’re looking at it the wrong way: at leasr insofar as “CSI:Miami” goes, making the PUA a killer was something they had to do because that’s what they do. They also have killer housewives, killer supermodels, killer strippers, killer bus drivers, and so on. The theme each week is to “catch the killer,” so they’re not going to put a PUA in a corner in a bar where Horatio goes to talk to a bartender looking for leads. They’re not picking on PUAs. They’ve merely run out of professions to play Killer of the Week between the three “CSI” shows.
On “Ugly Betty,” again, the PUA had to fit into that storyline somehow. The show takes place at a magazine, so it makes sense that Betty would interview the writer of a PUA book for an article for the magazine. Did the guy have to be such a dillweed? Well, it’s a comedy, so had he been as dull as dishwater, it wouldn’t have made for a great episode of comedy.
(You didn’t mention the episode of “Ugly Betty” from last season when her two beaus were at the club, attempting to see who could pick up more women in an hour, and they used several PUA techniques. There was a neg in there that both horrified me and made me laugh, hoping I never hear that one!)
I can’t comment on the other shows, but at least of the two you mentioned, I wanted to point out that what they did with PUAs was to fit them into their shows appropriately (drama and comedy respectively).
And finally, if the PUAs on the other shows came off badly, it might be because the writers watch “The Pickup Artist.” Yes, absolutely, the men who compete on the show seem to be genuinely transformed into cool people I’d date, but Mystery is a creep and a joke that my girlfriends and I laugh at, and there have been many nights we’ve played “Spot the PUA” thanks to all that goggle-headed nonsense. We try not to laugh because we know they’re trying, but in emulating a douche like Mystery, they just scream “I’m trying to get laid!” from across the room. If TV show writers have gotten some bad ideas, you just have to look at Mystery to see where they got them!
I agree you’re seeing media backlash against manhood in general.
Watch this:
http://creativity-online.com/work/view?seed=5e32d548
Note the sponsor at the end.
Oh I don’t know, I thought the Big Bang Theory episode was hilarious and didn’t really reflect on the community because of how poorly Howard did it. It felt more like a nod towards the community rather than an attack because he couldn’t get it right and everyone (even those unfamiliar) knew it.
Neil, honestly, does it surprise you?
I am not a PUA, when I first heard of the community (through your book) I already was with my current gf. But since I’ve experienced problems approaching girls as much as anyone, I’ve become interested in the community too.
As someone who plays RPGs and a christian, I am no stranger to public misconceptions, coming from all possible sides of the spectrum.
Your Loverlife has made some very good points, an I would like to expand on them. TV shows aim at entertaining people. They cannot elaborate or go very deeply, specially if they only have one or two episodes to do so, as they do in the US. In Brazil, where I come from, the telenovelas (soap operas) spark public debate on many topics (from gay marriage to cancer, to human trafficking, to organ donation) by making characters experience those situations over many episodes. Since each soap can last anywhere from 4 to 9 months, there’s plenty of time for different ideas to come up and for the public to sympathise.
If a TV show only has one episode to show an issue, they need to rely on what the viewership already “knows” (also known as preconceptions) about said subject.
When people hear about a community of guys studying techniques to pick up women, the first idea that comes to mind is “artificial” “fake”. Even though men have being lying to women (and women to men) since times immemorial, nobody likes being lied to. That isn’t help by the geeky stereotype of the kind of guy who has no success at all with women.
Automatically, the PUA will be automatically associated with the Archetype (present in all of literature) of the man who seduces women to take advantage of them, but in a more “en vogue” version.
There isn’t some kind of witch hunt going on, just relax.
By the way, I am not saying that the media in Brazil is better, that was just an example.
Anyone who’s seen Dr. Phil with the Love Systems guys and RJ has also seen how the public could be swayed one way or another.
The only and best thing the PUA’s can do to keep the community alive is to not lose focus and stay true to their main objecive: To help guys successfully overcome their limitations and approach women. If they can do it successfully, and still be good people, they’ll be living testimony of everything the community stands for.
If you lose focus, just check out all the good energy the name “christian” carries in the US to see what a good idea gone bad can result in.
I agree with Scot…
It seems that anything that’s perceived to help men cultivate and/or regain power, seems to be getting shunned nowadays.
Oh, and Scot, I threw up in my mouth when I saw that commercial…
… just saying… lol
This is really true.
But what is good is that PUAs are becoming increasingly publicized in the media.
This has to account for something.
Despite the fact that at the moment they attach associations of PUA’s with drop kick this could change in the future.
I think a new attitude needs to be taken to PUA’s. I guess women read the articles that they publish about how they slept with 3 women one night and then think that they are the enemy.
Its all these people who dont know anything about the PUA community at all making assumptions about it.
Its time that they get more educated.
Hot Approach Coach
Approach Anywoman, Anywhere, Anytime
TMI, Howard. Had I known I was going to provoke such visual imagery, I’d have skipped the comment.
“Cajole my lunch to the surface” is a nice euphemism for that, IMO.
Sometimes the best way to understand is to broaden your focus and look in general how the mainstream media treat a subject that they either don’t have time to intelligently investigate, or have economic incentive to ridicule.
Look for instance at the whole UFO phenomena. Recently, there has been more serious and intelligent investigation(anyone catch Peter Jenning’s last ever special before he died, on the subject of UFOS?) by mainstream media, but for the most part it is still surrounded by what is known as “the laughter curtain”.
You don’t need to actively censor anything. Just so control the imagery and the memes that when the subject is brought up, people dismiss it out of hand.
The community is far more often portrayed as something to laugh at than as being a genuine danger.
Just my two cents as someone who founded the community and who also has seen some pretty strange shit in the sky that I can’t begin to explain.
RJ
“Resistance to Speed Seduction(R) is futile, earth women!”
http://www.rjcoaching.com
Forget about all those haters, just keep it up. It’s all feminist bullshite. Exactly how Brad put it, whenever men try to regain power, we get shunned.
what gets me is fucks who judge people who try to improve in this and they don’t get call out on it cause its like what high school kids did to them and i won’t put up with this crap.
Wow, is it really Ross Jeffries? I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy…
haha tom are you serious? ross is just a normal dude with skills with girls that anyone can have lol
> backlash against manhood in general.
In which Mr. Neil Strauss takes a big part, continuously preaching that in order to meet girls you need to act as gay as possible.
You guys are all missing the point.
The backlash is awesome. I encourage it.
It allows pick up artistry to go underground again. That way only the hardcore PUAs survive. Society can then weed out the weak PUAs through social shaming. The creeps, the fakes, the try hards, and the bastards will be called out. A generational change in pick up artistry will occur where only the PUAs who are indirect approachers and long term thinking strategists will survive.
Bring it on. The game has changed. It’s a dynamic iterative system. Anyone who thinks the game is still contained in Strauss’s book or in PUA static tips from before the last two years is a dinosaur and will become extinct.
Why would you possibly attribute violence or serial killers to being in the seduction community. In which texts does it ever relate to harming or let alone making women feel uncomfortable? It is the exact OPPOSITE of what a true pick up artist does.
These men come from backgrounds with a lack of success. That doesn’t make them losers. In fact they attain the knowledge and burning desire out there to better themselves and improve their self value which is ultimately a successful and attractive quality to have. Take that away from them and we are left with nothing but a average acceptance of depression, vented frustration, loneliness, anxiety, the socially inept and ‘losers’. These aren’t the social norms we wish to have aimed for.
Now if you came from an angle of actually being a pickup artist you would know these things and during the process you would learn that respecting women, being truthful and being honest with them is the gateway to a much more socially graceful, successful and happy life style.
“Your Lovelife” said in a previous comment that “They also have killer housewives, killer supermodels, killer strippers, killer bus drivers” on the show. Though that is true. Do they have CSI killer script writers? because it seems to me that being a PUA is a very niche ‘market’ and if your going to pick on something so small why not broaden the prospective some more and pick on a CSI script writer. Till then, the things you are viewing on television are a complete fabrication on reality.