You probably have often heard this infamous phrase: “Man, that guy has game!”
What does that mean? How is it that one guy “Has game” and the next guys doesn’t? What does it really imply to even have game? What sort of a mystical power is this? What the f*ck is game anyway?
Let me strip it down to its basic components for ya!
We say a guy “Has game” when he is pretty good at attracting women to himself. The good old 80/20 rule applies here. 20% of men probably have game and the other 80% sort of fall into various categories of having little to no game.
Regardless of whether a guy learned to be good attracting women through the seduction community or just happened to be naturally good at it, he possesses certain ingredients.
In fact, to make it really simple: Let’s say this dude is a “Natural.” He’s never heard of the “Seduction Community” nor does he care about it. He is just good with women. He has game.
Well, here is what game really is broken down to 3 components:
***ATTITUDE***
(The balls factor)
This means having big balls, taking chances, and having some alpha-male characteristics. That means he is confident and has maybe an edge of cockiness even perhaps. It’s best summed up in the word Attitude. (Not attitude problem, but just an aura that the guy has high self-esteem.)
***SOCIAL CALIBRATION & SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE***
In the business, we call it “Calibration.” It’s Knowing what to say, and WHEN to say it! It’s Having an intuitive understanding of the type of women you’re talking to, and the circumstances you’re in.
Men who are players have some intuitive understanding of social dynamics. They know when to push and when to pull back a bit, they know are able to gauge their target demographic. It also means having a good nose for knowing when to go for the close because she is ready…..
I’ve met guys who have male-bimbos who were good at attracting certain type of women, only because they intuitively understood their target demographic (which happened to be other airhead females, but they’re good at working that target audience.)
*** Ability to Be INTERESTING and APPEALING on some level***
Whether it’s through humor, great storytelling, or intriguing conversations, the guy is able to create interest on some level. This includes guys who are not even very intelligent, but they’re still able to tell idiotic stories of their exploits that engage their target demographic. (Picture the drunken idiot fraternity boy here.)
Most naturals seem to be pretty good storytellers. Even if they grew up in a small town and had the plain small town American experience, they’re still are good at conveying it.
You have to be interesting as a person on some level and story telling is one of those ways. Whether you’re an intellectual or a stereotypical jock, you have to be able to convey that on some level.
That’s all Game is. When you hear someone say, “That guy has game,” he basically has some attitude/confidence, is interesting and is able to calibrate well because he has social intelligence.
That’s it!
The riddle is solved!
Guess we can all go home now and resume our normal lives. If it’s that simple, why is it difficult for some guys to get it? Or rather, why don’t some guys ever improve significantly?
That’s because each of the main 3 points can take time to develop and there are a lot of nuances to be learned within each of the aforementioned areas.
I shared this little insight with my buddy Jay, and he was very adamant about me mentioning that just because someone possesses these 3 qualities, does not mean they can go and pick up women everywhere and anywhere.
He has a point. I can see how the post would be misconstrued. This post is merely drawing an outline. It’s a bird’s eye view, a macro description of the entire process. It’s not an end-all, be-all solution, but rather a broad roadmap.
Guys who are good and do well consistently have learned what their demographic is and what environments they do best in. (I suppose this’d fall under calibration anyway. There will be an important future blog entry about target demographics, something nobody in the community is talking about.)
* Learning your environment:
Some guys are great at the bar/night club scene but don’t like approaching much during normal every day hours. Then there are guys who just hate bars/clubs and they don’t do well in bars and nightclubs. Yet, they’ve done consistently well for themselves despite not being bar people.
Others have learned to meet girls effectively working their social circle scene. Some had jobs or careers that were conducive to meeting women, doormen, bartenders, bouncers, DJs, club promoters and etc.
Some guys have learned to do really well meeting women online.
Despite where and how they meet women, these guys excel at these areas. This post is not about pickup artists. It’s about men who attract women on some level and do well for themselves.
This blog entry is designed to provide you with a [very general] roadmap of sorts to allow you to see where you need to make improvements. Maybe you want to date multiple women or maybe you want a good girlfriend whom you are attracted to physically and personality wise. Be honest with yourself and your sticking points.
Troubleshooting:
If you’re stuck and not getting decent results, you’re probably lacking in one of these areas.
* Lack of attitude/confidence
Ok, so you have learned some openers, some routines, and are able to get the conversation started but you lack balls. You are too caught up in what other people (including women) may think of you. You are held back by too much fear and hesitation. Or you could display needy and supplicating behavior, which are usual symptoms of a low self-image if you dig deep enough.
* Lack of Calibration
Maybe you don’t have that much fear or hesitation, but you just haven’t improved your social intelligence. Man, the seduction community is full of such guys. You say the wrong thing at the wrong time. You apply tactics when there is no need for tactics and you try to be alpha when there is no need to prove yourself.
You learn about negs and misapply them. You neg an archetype of woman when you should be complimenting her, and you compliment a type of woman whom you should be telling to fuck off. (Not in those exact words, however.)
* Not interesting or appealing
You are just not that interesting to be talk to. There is no appeal or lure to draw them to ya. This has nothing to do with physical attraction. It’s about personality. Maybe you have a great personality but you haven’t learn to convey that personality properly, or maybe you freeze up around women and then you can’t display your cool personality (which brings up the first issue: lack of attitude and overwhelmed by fear.)
Start working on the areas you need improvements on. At the end of the day, one thing is for sure: A guy who possesses the ingredients will do OK for himself. This isn’t about becoming a PUA, hitting on 5000 women a day, or bragging to your friends about your number-closes and other retarded community dogma.
It’s that the Man who:
1. Has Balls and confidence,
2. Possesses social intelligence and calibration,
3. and is Interesting as a person/human being
will attract his fair share of females. This is despite race, hair, color, ethnicity, height, flashy clothes, religion, and other superficial differences.
Next time you see some random guy in your town, neighborhood or social circles who seems to do well with women, take a closer look and you’ll see that he possesses the aforementioned components. Perhaps you may be at a house party and you notice one guy who seems to have the women attracted to him.
Others will say, “Dude, that guy has game…..” but won’t be able to express why or how.
Having read this post, You will know exactly why.
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Love that Cam Teone. One of the few who walks the walk.
This post is gold, especially the part about lack of calibration. So many PUAs or PUA-wannabes are so uncalibrated in social situations, using the excuse of “I don’t give a fuck what others think” to justify acting like a social retard.
I’m not great by any stretch of the imagination, but sometimes I think that the whole “community” needs to take a breath of fresh air.
Good post. However you have left out the aspect of being being able to create sexual desire. Everything you have mentioned is true but those qualities will only create rapport and moderate short term influence. Rapport is important as all forms of persuasion are founded in the aura of rapport and connection. They will not create sexual attraction in and of themselves.
However the ability to arouse a woman’s sexuality seems to come from one of 2 vehicles. One is looks. Good looking males are always sought for sex by females whether they can tell a good story or not.
The other is communicating to the subconscious part of a woman’s mind using metaphors and indirect language, trancery, etc.
In his book The Art of Seduction, Robert Greene refers to a number of seducer archetypes. For the average pua seducer the Demonic Rake is worth pondering. The demonic rake can be incredibly ugly, yet seduce the most beautiful women through the use seduction language that captivates the emotions and accelerates a woman’s desire for sex. NLP, Conversational hypnosis, In10se’s Octoberman, Speed Seduction and JD Fuentes Sexual Key are powerful and valid resources for the serious and career seductionist.
RV
I especially liked the part where you talked about the guy knowing his “demographics”.
Some guys have “game”… but it’s only in certain situations.
I’d call it their “bread and butter”, a specific type of woman that they know that they can ALWAYS have success with.
In other words, a guy might have “game” pulling 19 year old women… yet gets SLAUGHTERED by the 30 year old women… even though he’s 30+ himself.
In one instance, he’s the man… the other, he’s a douche… lol
In response to creating sexual desire:
Being confident, having an attitude or an edge of cockiness does create sexual desire. It’s not the only way, but it is one way.
If I were going to write a more detailed article, I would have included “Exuding sexuality” under a subcategory. This is done through sub-communication and flirtatious behavior. My list hit 3 general key points and conveying sexuality would fall under “Attitude.” Having an aura of confidence does wonders in creating attraction and growing some balls does wonders in conveying sexuality.
Being a sexual being, and conveying sexuality is certainly important. Real life Example: (In the proper context), physically picking up a woman and lifting her into the air sub-communicates far higher levels of sexuality in 10 seconds than does an inordinate amount of time spent trying to lay NLP patterns.
Certainly, every man is free for himself to study what he wants, whether it’s NLP, conversational hypnosis, and so forth. Part of my goal as a teacher is to simplify the steps for my clients and save them from having to spend years studying such things that they don’t really need. Robert Green’s “Art of seduction” is an interesting read and probably cool if you have nothing better to do in your life. It’s not something I’d recommend to my clients to improve their skills with women. Again, it’s my intention to help men avoid confusion and delving into oblivion from reading such works.
—-
To Brad:
You’re correct and in that a lot of guys have tailored an approach to hit certain demographic.
The topic of “Demographic” is an important one and I have written an article entirely on that topic. I’ll be posting it soon enough.
Cameron
Actually, I have to disagree with you here.
It seems like it’s more 95/5 instead of 80/20.
I agree, that is some great content, reminds me of some of the stuff I have on my site!
While it is perhaps good to give even idiots who don’t deserve to reproduce or have girlfriends because they don’t appreciate them, this is bullshit and animalistic, stupid and wrong. No one should have to be someone who they aren’t in order to have someone. Nor should they have to treat women poorly, that is, denigrate them, by not giving them what they need which is love-none of this shit is remotely about love or anything of lasting value. Also, it is quite apparent in the so often awful and hideous choices that women make in their long-term or short-term selection of male mates that they are obviously possessed of low self-esteem, and they internally, mentally feel that they are nothing, so subconsciously they seek out worthless shit men, who only reinforce their delusion that they are nothing, for these shit men-most of whom are idiots and retards and emotionally bankrupt and don’t really even deserve to live; in that they basically seem to hate women and use women and throw women away and disrespect women, the fucking assholes-treat them and talk to them like they are nothing. And women are something. And, guess what? WE ARE NOT FUCKING ANIMALS! WE ARE FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS! We don’t need to do the fucked up crap that animals-who don’t possess emotion or much of a brain-do! It is time to stop it with this fucking worthless shit that is only going to end up hurting someone-probably a woman-in the end. Women suffer enough, they suffer way more than men, and they don’t deserve to be fucked around with with this worthless player crap. I mean, in our brains, we have the capacity for such knowledge and perfection and power and the ideality of mankind, yet even though so many possess a raw supercomputer in their mind, they are too stupid and worthless to even use it and many of these people don’t have much of a heart, either. SO let us try to be honest and good for once-for that is the only way to find lasting, true, pure, good happiness. Happiness that isn’t a fucking lie, that isn’t about a bunch of mean and worthless crap. Society and behavior need changing in order for true happiness to occur-none of this fucked up worthless shit. (Normally, I would refrain from swearing so much, but I am really fucking pissed off about this shit-and it is the only way that most of you morons are ever going to understand me). So, let us try to nurture and support each other and give women what they totally deserve: to, at the very least, be treated as equals-though often even the worst of them is like ten times better than the best man-which in this case, would be me. I am the best man. I don’t subscribe to a bunch of worthless shit. Why doesn’t somebody just try to do this shit the right way for once, the kind way, the good way, the HONEST way? That is how I would like to do it, but I can’t because women have been conditioned by society to hate themselves and especially to hate anyone who acts like they truly love them-and women deserve love and I deserve love and a bunch of bullshit is not going to help me or them get what they want and need. A woman is not different from me all that much and she deserves to be treated the way that I would want her to treat me-but of course so many of you are so fucked up out there, you probably can’t understand this and will go on ruining the lives of women and living out lives that are lies! And some women, you really do not want to piss off, believe me, I know. Some would kill a man that did this shit to them-if they knew about it. But they’re not stupid; they probably know already anyway. But still, I think that for once my method should be used, so that truth and beauty come out. So that humanity comes out. So that whatever is good and pure and sweet in life comes out-otherwise what is the point of it all, hmm? Who can really answer that question with any authority? In the end, lies almost always make people suffer and the truth is almost always eventually discovered and the results can be disastrous-so why don’t we all stop fucking around-literally and figuratively-and grow up and be decent, worthwhile human beings? I mean, we are the highest order of life on this planet. We are practically gods over everything. We are above animals naturally-so why fucking imitate them? You think that everyone wants to be some kind of fucking animal-when that is not even what humans are in the first place? I mean, I cannot figure out such vile, baseless foolery and nonsense that will only lead to some form of literal or figurative destruction. Too many go to their own private, personal hell as it is-why send more to that vile place (here I am not referring literally or physically to hell as an actual place, but rather a mental/emotional state of vilest despair). It would seem that the only person who has actual game in that they think that they are better than everyone else-and in fact are; at least they are thousands of times smarter; despite their use of curse words-is me. I am practically a god in comparison to you all-yet I don’t really want to be. So, why don’t you consider improving your worthless selves and trying to reform the shit in society that leads to so much hate and desperation and sadness. To think that anyone would want to instruct people in how to deceive others for the benefit of using said person for god knows what depravity, and then doing god knows what else with said person, to think this is to contemplate purest evil-and I am not exaggerating. How would you like to be treated like you were nothing and talked to in the same way? This crap is seriously demented and any person worth their salt in the psychiatric field will tell you that this the cause fo some of the sadness in the world today-this selfish shit that leads to intensest despair. Women are great as far as I am concerned and they don’t need a bunch of shit-but then who here could possibly understand that? I just hope someone takes something away from this that is positive and helps to change the dating world and remove it’s inherent childishness, selfishness, dishonesty, humiliation and cruelty-even though I know most will scoff at it. But let’s return to them in ten or twenty years and see how well this shit paid off, hmm? Nothing will come of their approach that is lasting or good or true. Again, women and people in general are not playthings they are not to be played with and lied to-hopefully somebody already knows that; but I doubt it. I would say: “Fuckasses” to you all to end this, but I think that I have insulted you and your shitty opinions and demented, dangerous philosophies enough-though truly you deserved it. Maybe you will all change-but probably nothing will happen except more hurtful crap. Enjoy your lives of lies, and I will try to enjoy my life, which is being hampered by shitholes who steal and destroy the women that I truly care about! So, thanks so much for that one, guys! I am seriously like fifty-thousand times better, smarter and truer than almost all of you worthless liars and fools. Well, I have had my say-and now let us just hope that it is not mocked and denigrated (as no doubt certain vile fools think women should be mocked and denigrated) too much by shits, shits who only mock it, because they can’t understand it, because they are mentally/emotionally bankrupt and prefer to lie instead of telling the truth. I hope someone learns from this and implements it in their life and introduces it to society and reform takes place-all, ironically enough, because of me.