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Last time I shared with you all the secrets to becoming the “chooser” instead of the “chaser”?

What is all comes down to is representing what women crave in a man rather than trying to cajole women into giving you what you crave first. Leadership, right? You deliver what high-quality women want, and you get your desires met in return.

Now, as promised, it’s time to get down to the practical ways you can become that man who women crave long-term.

Rest-assured, there are indeed certain traits that a woman is looking for in a man when deciding who to spend the rest of her life with, build a family with, etc.

I would offer that such a list follows a repeatable pattern. Certainly, it’s senseless to make a blanket generalization, but kind of as the mirror-image of what I wrote for you a while back in “Why Even Desperate Guys Won’t Marry Their Girlfriends”, I am going to list half a dozen potential deal-makers and another half-dozen deal-breakers that apply to women when they consider men.

Now here’s an important point before we get started. Just because you have the power to make women want to commit to you for life doesn’t mean you have to commit to any woman until you are good and ready.

Consider how a particularly attractive woman can inspire most guys to want to have sex with her. That by no means requires or even compels her to have sex with all of them…or any of them for that matter. She simply uses that power to become the selector from among the many guys chasing her.

When you become the man who inspires the desire in women to “lock you down” long-term, you are likewise without any requirements to appease anyone. You simply enjoy the power of selection in your own life going forward.

Listen up guys: if you are being hit A LOT with the “JBF Talk” (you know, the one that’s summed up by the dreaded phrase “let’s just be friends”) then spend extra time considering what is written below as closely as you can. Chances are there are one or more items you might want to address.

And don’t feel alone, I personally know numerous guys who women flirt like crazy with everywhere they go—and who are also completely frustrated because they can’t seem to get past the second date with any woman they go out with.

It’s like they have a “revolving door” of women in their life. Hmmm….

So take a look at the following lists from the opposite perspective as you did for the article on “Why Even Desperate Guys Won’t Marry Their Girlfriends”. If you need to consult that one again, look for it in the SC archives.

If you aren’t careful, considering the issue at hand in its fullness from both sides just may cause you to gain an even clearer “big picture” of what long-term desirability truly consists of. And…you may end up understanding women a lot better than you did just a half hour ago. Nice.

Men Women Commit To…

1. …Are Confident. Number one on both the male and female version of this list, and for good reason. It’s incredibly difficult to fake yet painfully easy to recognize if it’s not there. This is an absolute must for a man.

2. …Are Masculine Without Apology. OK, all of us have read what the extreme feminists have to say, endured “sexual harassment” videos and were possibly even put through “sensitivity training”.

Men are indirectly and incorrectly taught in this culture that being a “Man” involves inherently bad things. Well, the truth of the matter is that a good majority of women are feminine and they are naturally attracted to masculinity.

If you are masculine to begin with, the irony is that the sexual harassment training videos will be irrelevant because you’re a man and know how to act like one. Hint: “Jerk” and “Man” are not synonymous.

At the risk of facing serious objection from readers, I would go so far as to say that when it comes to driving a sense of commitment, masculine men are more important to women than feminine women are to men.

Men seem to vary in how they react long-term to tomboyish women, women who act like “one of the guys”, muscular women, etc. Similarly, women who are so feminine as to be Pollyannaish sometimes are a turn off to certain men.

Contrast that with the fact that virtually ZERO women are attracted to men with any effeminate traits whatsoever. Think about it.

1. …Inspire A Sense Of Security. A woman will not commit to a man who does not make her feel safe. Clearly, the obvious reference here would be to an abusive situation, be it physical, mental or emotional.

A woman does not want to feel as if she is in any type of danger when with her man. She wants to be free of concern regarding external hazards, and she especially does not want to feel that her guy is part of the potential problem.

Did you catch that last part? She can be a veritable Lara Croft when it comes to “defending herself”, and it will CHANGE NOTHING as far as this factor goes. If you are the one creating turmoil by failing to provide financial or emotional stability and / or are causing hazardous things to happen, she is not going to feel “safe” with you. Game over.

2. …Are A Challenge. Women will not tolerate a spineless “doormat” for long. Show some guts. She’ll love you for it…forever. And oh, um…don’t get “comfortable” and change anything later, will you?

3. …Are Leaders. Do not, whatever you do, put her in the car and ask her where she wants to go for dinner. Know her favorites and do the planning. Translate this concept to every other facet of life.

4. …Have Composure. A man who seems to be able to handle just about any situation is irresistible to most women. This is the very essence of being cool, by the way. Watch a few Steve McQueen movies and you’ll get my drift. High-strung Chihuahua guys are a turn off.

OK, let’s also do a gut-check here and cover the types of guys who women absolutely do not want to plan a serious future with…

Men Women Have No Long-Term Interest In…

1. …Lack Ambition. Women want men with goals and a plan for getting there. Couch potatoes who live with their parents and play X-box all day long should never, ever complain that women reject them. Ever.

2. …Are Mama’s Boys. I’m not altogether convinced this has to do with a woman not wanting “competition”. That may enter into it slightly, but really this is about a man having to consult “Mommy” for things. Instead, be a LEADER. Make decisions. Cut the umbilical cord. Women are repulsed otherwise.

3. …Are Followers. Your woman is not going to want to spoon feed you and hold your hand, “sweetie”. If you’ve succeeded in cutting the umbilical cord, the last thing you should do from there is tie it to your girlfriend’s ankle instead. Love your own reality, and invite her to join you there. This is extra-challenging because most men, unfortunately…

4. …Are Boring. Most men are painfully predictable. We like what we already are doing, and stick with it.

Most women aren’t exactly tracking with that mindset.

If you want to attract a woman, consider the value of demonstrating to her that you stand for raising the energy level in her life and LEADING her to a whole new level of excitement and adventure. In order to do that, however, you are going to have to actually have some excitement and adventure in your life. Consider that closely.

5. …Lack Any Semblance Of Manners And / Or Style. Are you a man who fails to see the importance of having table manners, wearing a belt and shoes that match and / or acting like an adult in public? If so, get your vision checked.

6. …Are Jealous. Take EXACTLY what we wrote under the corresponding bullet point in the previous section and apply it. Yes, I am making a point: Jealousy tends to run a similar course in both men and women. What with all the complaining about how men “can’t understand women” and vice-versa, you would think this factor would be universally grasped and dealt with. No way, Jose. As long as there is insecurity in the world and selfish partners wanting to test the limits thereof, jealousy will remain FAR too powerful an emotion to just fade away.

All things considered, I’m left with the sad realization of how few people in the world truly understand what the opposite gender is looking for. Perhaps this is because we’ve been directed by the media to blur gender roles for so long that we are all just generally confused about what manhood and womanhood are meant to be about.

Over the years this has caused many of us to ultimately misunderstand what the opposite gender truly is attracted to.

When it all comes down to it, the truth is very simple and cannot be denied. When put into words, it’s almost laughable to have to explain at all: Men are attracted to women, and women are attracted to men.

Whoever you are, be a genuine man of integrity, and you will be well on your way to deserving what you want and becoming The Leading Man.

Scot McKay has just released his relationship management system called The Leading Man. It’s brand new as of September 13th. I realize there are a bunch of products out there, but if you are looking for what comes after pickup, this is worth a look because hardly anyone is covering that. Best of all, McKay doesn’t exactly price gouge people, which is nice: The Leading Man

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