Stop Selling Yourself by David Wygant
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As those of you who have been reading the blog know, I’ve been shopping for a new house lately. Whenever I walk into a new house, or if I’m looking to buy a new car, or audio equipment, video equipment, whatever – I always walk in and look at the salesperson as they are about to start their spiel and say, “you can’t close me. I am not somebody you can ever close. So you don’t need to give me the spiel; let me figure this out for myself. You can hang out with me for a little bit, and if I like you, I’ll probably give you some business.”
I’ve found that many people, when approaching someone of the opposite sex, are just trying to close the deal. They are just trying to sell themselves.
Life is not about selling yourself. This isn’t a negotiation. When you approach someone you are attracted to, you should never go up to them and list the “ten reasons why you should date me.”
What it is about is getting to know someone. People want to do business with people that intrigue them. They want to do business with someone they can imagine being friends with, with someone that makes them feel comfortable.
So you don’t have to sell yourself so much! I’ve seen it all – people will really go completely over the top when trying to sell themselves. They are trying to negotiate a date out of someone rather than just relaxing, having fun, enjoying life and being fully present.
Life is not about negotiations. Life is not about selling yourself. Life is about presenting the best version of yourself based on who you are and your confidence.
Whenever I run into someone who is trying to sell themselves to me, I’ll look at them and say, “let me ask you a question: why are you trying to sell yourself so much? Let me get to like you for who you are – the REAL you. I don’t need to know just the good parts about you – let me get to know ALL the parts of you! Then I’ll be able to make an informed decision when it comes down to whether or not I want to hang out with you.”
So don’t sell. You might run into somebody like me – somebody who can’t be closed!
And don’t ever try to close me if you meet me. Just get to know me. I have lots of friends and a great network of contacts, and not one person I know is someone who ever tried to close me. They just got to know me.
Today’s video is a live approach and breakdown at Bed Bath and Beyond.
You are about to learn what beyond is!
Learn more from David Wygant at his new website www.davidwygant.com
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Comment by Bobby Rio on 9 September 2008:
Funny you hit upon this today David.. as I’ve been thinking about this alot lately… not so much in life as in networking with other people.
It seems everyone (myself included) puts on salesman mode whenever they meet someone who may be of interest to them networking wise…
What’s so funny about this is that you’re a hell of a lot more likely to really connect with the other person if the both of you drop the act and be yourself.
Comment by Kevin on 11 September 2008:
This is an excellent study of day game. You bring the woman into your reality - create an adventure. This is one of the better in-field films I have seen. Great job David!
Comment by Sel on 16 September 2008:
I agree.
Comment by Lance on 23 September 2008:
Interesting in-field video, I agree with the analysis. I would have liked to have seen the guy move forward and stand just inside the other guy, right off his shoulder, and escalated the convo. Not bad though, he starts to push the interaction in the last 30′ or so.