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Tell me about where you’re from and how you got to be where you are now with “inner game.”

Where I’m from? Well physically speaking, Planet Earth; more specifically, Chicago, IL. Intellectually and emotionally, however, I’ve come from a kid born with a rare bone disorder that has confined my mobility to a wheelchair, stunted my growth to only three feet, and made my bones extremely brittle, fracturing over 200 times by age 18. I grew up often frustrated that people would stare at me, kids would point and laugh at my appearance, and I could NEVER blend in and be normal. As an adult though, my condition is seen as a blessing. “Peacocking” is not necessary because I am the freaking peacock. One look at me and I’m in your brain FOREVER; that comes in quite handy with women. I never have to do crazy things, die my hair, ink my body up, or trip and fall into a tackle box (get lots of piercings) to get attention. I just have to show up.

As far as my ‘Love Evolution,’ I was quite the late bloomer. I didn’t get my first kiss until I was 19. I didn’t have my first sexual experience until age 24 and my first REAL girlfriend until age 26. Women loved being my ‘friend’ and hanging out with me, but I never converted them into lovers and girlfriends until I got my inner game together. I used to blame my lack of success on my physical condition, “Women can’t be attracted to a little man in a wheelchair.”

That was my pathetic mantra from age 12 until age 24. I broke the cycle when I started studying what women really want in a man. When I discovered that my inner game (confidence and self-worth) is the ultimate determining factor in creating attraction, I took off. Within one year I acquired more intimacy than in my entire previous dating history. Now I’m dating some of the most attractive, talented, and loving women around. My transformation was so radical that I couldn’t keep it to myself; I had to share my insights and explorations with the world in my online Magazine: www.InnerGameMagazine.com. Guys struggling in their dating life often don’t realize that they need to get their mind/life together to create solid attraction.

Have you had any huge realizations about inner game that you’ve only had in the last year?

More than I can count. Every time I sit down with an IGM cover story guest, my mind is blown away with insights about the male and female mind. Here’s a few for you:

• If you don’t find yourself attractive, you’ll give off the vibe that neither should the women you want. Spend a few minutes a day looking in the mirror looking for your attractive qualities: hair, eyes, smile, whatever! This isn’t some new age crap; I’m serious. Find yourself attractive and radiate that energy.

• If you get involved in philanthropy and give back to the planet and humanity you accomplish three powerful things…

  1. You meet hot women who are into more than themselves.

  2. You develop your life into a more interesting experience, which is more attractive.

  3. You feel better about yourself and life, which is more fulfilling than anything you could do or buy.

• If you get into badass shape physically something magical takes place in your inner game: you develop discipline, you feel better emotionally (less foggy), you feel more powerful, and you look healthier (which is more attractive).

Is there one big key to focus on for self esteem and confidence that can help guys who are just starting out?

Read the book One Small Step Can Change Your Life.

I didn’t write it, nor do I even know the author. It’s a book that I recommend to all my clients before they come and see me. I find when you want to develop your confidence and self-esteem, you have to be reminded that Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes some time for a new identity to take root in a man’s mind. Stay positive through the process, even if you fall on your face 100 times while getting your inner game together.

I still have days where fear and insecurity nibble on my mind; that’s no cause to resort to quitting or sulking that I’m not perfect. I would also tell you to surround yourself with resources and people that believe in you more than you believe in yourself. On those dark days when you trip and fall, they’ll be right there cheering you on to get back up, not kicking you for being the idiot that fell. You can’t grow a strong plant in compromised/toxic soil, and you can’t grow a healthy self-esteem and confidence in a place of negativity, cynicism, and doubt.

Flush away negative influences. It’s tough to do so; however, it’s imperative. Anything else I could teach you is pointless if your living, working, and socializing environments are not supportive.

Where do you meet most of the women you date?

Charity events, bookstores, coffee houses, personal growth seminars, and the gym. I use to meet women in clubs, bars, and restaurants;however, that often left me with disappointment. Reason being is those girls were either flakes, train wrecks, or had low expectations in life. I personally want a gal who has her life together and is capable of being self-sufficient and open to giving and receiving love fully. Don’t go after a girl at a club at 3:00am who is bombed out of her mind and then think she’s going to be extremely responsible and mature the next day. Where you meet someone is more telling than just the place you reference in a story of how you met.

Which people have you had personal dealings with that have helped your inner game? What did they teach you?

I have been mentored by dozens of the most amazing individuals; here are a few…

Byron Katie: An unquestioned mind is a mind in chaos. You can’t change people; you can only live your life as an example around them. You have to love ‘what is’ rather than mope about ‘what should be.’ If you fight with ‘what is’ you lose, but only 100% of the time.

Ask yourself on a regular basis when you have chaotic thoughts:

1. Is that true?

2. Can you absolutely know that’s true?

3. How does that thought make you feel?

4. Who would you be without that thought?

5. What is the opposite of that thought?

Tony Robbins: You have to live life with passion. You can’t play the game of life half-assed; if you do, you’ll get half-assed results. There are six human needs we all have to have met on some level:

1. You need Certainty: predictability of what will happen next.

2. You need Uncertainty: variety of new experiences.

3. You need Significance: attention from those around you.

4. You need Love/Connection: bonding with those you care about.

You can’t feel fulfilled without the last two:

5. You need Growth: expansion of your life.

6. You need Contribution: giving back to humanity/the planet.

Gary Chapman: Love is expressed like a language; if you don’t speak to someone in their language, it’s like you never spoke to them at all.

1. Some of us need words of affirmation, i.e. compliments and words of encouragement.

2. Some of us need physical touch, i.e. hug, pat on the back, or sessions of being held close.

3. Some of us need gifts, i.e. some physical/tangible item to show someone that we thought of them.

4. Some of us need quality time, i.e. sitting in the park just being together saying nothing.

5. Some of us need acts of service, i.e. cooking a meal, mowing their lawn, or fixing their car.

David DeAngelo: Attraction isn’t a choice. Once you spark attraction in a woman she will feel it on some level for you forever. The way you spark it best is by having an exciting life, being playful, and standing your ground when she starts testing you.

Deepak Chopra: We are all energy. If you are not attracting what you want into your life it is because you are not at the highest mental awareness (vibration). You must align your mind, body, and spirit if you want to start creating the life of your dreams.

No element of your life can be disconnected from your life. If you are sick, tired, broke, or hurting in any way, it will eventually surface in every area of your life.

Larry Winget: If your life sucks, it’s cause you suck. You are afraid to work hard and get bruised. The people who accomplish the most and get the most juice out of their life are the ones that take the most responsibility for their life and NEVER blame anyone or anything. PERIOD!

Don Miguel Ruiz: You must master the four most powerful agreements:

Agreement 1: Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Agreement 2: Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Agreement 3: Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Agreement 4: Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Even with your confidence now, what happens when self-doubt creeps in at a later time? How do you deal with that?

I zoom out and ask the questions:

“Is this life or death?”

“What good am I accomplishing by coming from fear?”

Then, if the fear/doubt is really strong, I employ the Cartesian logic:

1. What would happen if this did happen?

2. What would happen if this didn’t happen?

3. What wouldn’t happen if this did happen?

4. What wouldn’t happen if this didn’t happen?

Run that on your brain and you’ll come out the other end a pile of mush; Issue neutralized.

I also will go out and read from empowering books, review empowering journal entries of mine, or go a few minutes on my punching bag.

Doubt is a virus and it has no place in your mind; that’s why it hosts on you. You need to find it and get it out of there IMMEDIATELY.

You studied under Tony Robbins. What did you learn from him?

That I was capable of FAR more than I realized. He taught me if you make something “a MUST” you will pool every resource possible to make it happen… versus “a should,” which most people NEVER get around to doing.

I learned that the body and mind work together in every second to create our experience of reality, and we must listen closely to both.

I learned that people will judge you no matter what you do so you might as well be living life on your terms and be having a blast.

Has anything you learned from Tony Robbins proven incorrect or inapplicable as you’ve gone through life?

While I know he’s not perfect, his material has always checked out and worked for me and my clients. Tony has been nothing but a powerful resource in my life. Sure, I was sad the day I realized he wasn’t flawless. I was shocked that even the KING of personal growth had a temper, made bad decisions, and did things differently than I might have, but that’s all a part of being human. His human side doesn’t discredit his material.

What is the biggest inner game problem guys have within the community? What can they do to remedy it?

Thinking that their problem is external, i.e. that women are messed up, that they just don’t have the ‘right line,’ and that they aren’t good looking enough. It’s ALL BS!!!

The problem lies internally. They don’t feel like they have what it takes; they feel flawed and incapable of being lovable.

Everyone has a different remedy that is customized to where they are. Everyone in the community wants a blanket answer. Give me the five steps to getting laid - that’s a bunch of crap. If you get laid, sure you’ll feel good, for awhile…but then the “I’m not enough” dragon will surface again in a few hours, days, or weeks.

No amount of “closes” will make you feel complete and truly happy.

The guys in the community must realize that they must face their fears and do so in a healthy, safe, and professional manner. For some, that might mean hiring a skilled coach; for others it might mean reading 100 books; for some it might mean getting their finances in order, and for others it could mean getting in shape. Without a stable life, you are building a gaming toolbox that will eventually leave you skilled at seduction and empty in fulfillment….not to mention that you won’t land a loving woman who will be willing to face the good times and bad with you.

Do you have any field reports of you personally that you can relate to help the readers?

The term ‘field reports’ creeps the hell out of me. I think you mean, “do I have any successful events that might help a guy out.” Yes. I detail many of them in my free eBook Top 10 Inner Game Killers, which you can get by going to www.InnerGameMagazine.com

To give you one right now, I’d share this…

I’d been friends with this gorgeous girl for years. I thought I was stuck in the friend zone for years. Slowly but surely she saw my life transform as I got my inner game together. She saw my life become more and more exciting. She saw me get super busy and extremely mature and responsible.

Then one night we sat on a coach together watching a football game. We started holding hands, cuddling, and sending very warm energy to each other.

Something magically shifted; she was starting to fall for me. That sparked a several month relationship that was filled with sex, love, fun, caring, and lots of connection. While the relationship didn’t last forever, it taught me that when a man gets his life together, women take notice. There is no such thing as the friend zone if you create an attractive life and you are giving a woman unconditional love.

What is inner game magazine, what can guys expect?

There are two ways to subscribe to Inner Game Magazine. The Basic subscription is FREE and will give you a weekly article written by me or my editor and inside woman, Liz.

The Premium subscription will give you all of the benefits of the Basic, plus a monthly high quality audio interview where I sit down with some of the best experts in the field of inner game. Along with the interview you will get the Premium Pages, which are like Cliff Notes for each interview. All of this is only $15 a month and $1 for the first issue.

Why should guys be subscribed to it?

While you will no doubt get great information from reading the articles available in the Basic subscription, they won’t help you truly develop your inner game.

For that, you need a Premium subscription. Each month, I sit down with a male dating expert and find out the inner workings of his mind and his life. I don’t just shoot the breeze with him; my interviews all follow a system that allows you to model these men so that eventually your life will be as exciting and fulfilling as theirs are.

Women will not find a man attractive if she senses that he is flaky or does things halfway. A Premium subscription is the only way to truly commit to becoming the man who women want.

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