The 10PM Rule by David Wygant

by David Wygant on September 3, 2008

I have this concept called “The 10 p.m. Rule.” The biggest mistake men make on a Friday night is . . . going out on a Friday night. Most men tend to gear up for a Friday night that never ever takes off. How many times have you been out on a Friday night where the only thing in your hand at the end of the evening is a bill an an empty bottle of beer?

Women go out on a Friday night to communicate with their friends. Now, granted, if they meet somebody that is a huge bonus. But most of the time, they’re going out to bond.

Men head out on a Friday night with a hunter and gatherer mentality. They go out with the sole purpose of meeting women, and their energy is thus very desperate and pack-like. So what can a man do to assure his success in meeting women on a Friday night? This is where my “10 p.m. Rule” comes into play.

Most men and women after 10 p.m. are drunk and annoyed. The men are drunk . . . and the women are annoyed because they have been fending off the drunks. The later the night gets, the more annoyed a woman becomes with her choice of being out that night. Go into any bar or restaurant in America and take a look at a woman’s energy at 8:00 p.m. … at 9:00 p.m. … at 10:00 p.m. … at 11:00 p.m. … and at midnight. As each hour progresses on a Friday night, she’s had to ward off another drunken, annoying guy who said the same thing as each of the guys who approached before him.

What most men do wrong, is they wait until they get some “liquid courage” and until they can find the right drunken moment to approach a woman. A woman has been standing around fending off men all night long. So by the time you approach, no matter how clever you think your approach is, she’s already heard it.

Let me explain the power of “The 10 p.m. Rule,” and why it works every time. When women go out on a Friday, they tend to be out early and they tend to be with only one or two friends before they meet “the pack.” Sometimes early in the evening, they’re even out alone at a bar or a restaurant waiting for a friend. They’re also at this point very open to what the night might have in store for them, because they have yet to deal with the annoying drunken guy.

The power of the before “10 p.m. Rule” is that you’re going to talk to them when they are most open, plus you will be giving them something to compare to for the rest of the night. That is, you will be the guy she compares against all the drunken idiots she runs into the rest of the night. By getting to her before the parade of annoying drunken men begins, you will become more attractive and intriguing to her as the night progresses (even without you being there!). She will wonder more and more about you, because you are the antithesis of all the guys who are approaching her with the same lines, the same level of drunkenness and the same game.

When I coach a man, I tell him that we’re only going to go out until 10:00 p.m. – 10:30 p.m. on a Friday night, and that he is going to meet the most incredible woman before she even starts her evening. SO . . . let’s go and dive a little deeper into “The 10 p.m. Rule” and why this mindset works so well in terms of meeting women.

It’s 7:00 p.m. on a Friday night and, for argument’s sake, let’s say there’s a woman named Amy who is out at a local restaurant waiting for her friend to arrive. She’s all excited about it being Friday night. No more work. No more screaming boss. Just 48 hours of pure fun starting right then. Her energy and her mind are open to anything.

This is the best time to approach Amy. She’s feeling really good about everything . . . and this is the time when most men tend not to approach, because they’re waiting for the alcohol and the evening to kick in first. This is a big mistake, and where learning “The 10 p.m. Rule” becomes so invaluable.

So here’s Amy standing at a bar, open and ready to hang out with you. So what do you do? You walk directly over to her, and you ask her “Are your friends late too?” By stating the obvious, you will then get her to talk about her friend, and you can have a fun conversation based upon both your friends being late. Plus, you’ll have an exit strategy . . . which is important. Why is an exit strategy important? Having an exit strategy is important, because you are acknowledging and respecting the fact that she is going out with friends . . . which is another thing that guys never do.

So let’s say the conversation with Amy is going well, and then her friend shows up. You need to now close her immediately.

To close her at this point, simply say: “Hey . . . I really enjoyed talking to you. I see your friend’s here, so I’ll let you guys catch up. I have to call my friend and see where he is. Let’s get together next week and have a drink.”

At that point you exchange phone numbers, you tell her to have a great night with her friend, introduce yourself to her friend, and walk away. You have now become the confident guy to whom she will compare all the annoying guys who approach her during the course of the evening. That is, you will be the guy she is wishing she were talking to instead of all the drunken annoying guys who approach her that night. She will also be really happy that she met somebody who was not overtly trying to pick her up.

Now, there’s one final part to this concept . . . this is where “The 10 p.m. Rule” comes into play after all of the above before 10 p.m. things have taken place. You need to text her at 10 p.m. By this time, she will have been dealing with quite a few drunken guys who have annoyed her. So, you want to get back inside her head, make her really jazzed that she met you, and reconfirm her gut instinct that she had about you earlier.

The text that I want you to write is very simple: “It was great meeting you earlier! How’s your night going? :) I’m heading home. Just had dinner with a friend. Let’s talk tomorrow. [you r name]”

What you just did is show her that you’re not like the rest of the guys who are out getting drunk and trying to canvass for women. From time to time, I’ve even had a woman text me back and ask me if I’d like to meet her out that night for a drink.

When you do what other guys have not done, you become the man that she desires most – the man against whom she compares all other men she met. Additionally, you’ll get home early, so you can start the next morning meeting women using what I call “The 10 a.m. Rule.” We’ll talk about that another time . . .

Check out more of David Wygant at his new website.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Honey September 3, 2008 at 8:06 am

Sounds good, except back in my going out days, I wouldn’t even get to a club or bar until 10 or 11 in the first place…

Bobby Rio September 4, 2008 at 5:24 am

Yes, I agree with much of the principle behind this… but in my area if you’re at a bar or club before 10pm… you’re the only one there.

I would say, that if you’re recommending hitting up happy or hour or a different scene than I agree completely.

I wrote a post awhile back about how Friday nights are not a good night to go out to pick up girls. Friday nights tend to be girls night out for many girls in relationships. These girls are only lookig to hang with friends on friday nights.

If you must go to a bar to meet women… go any night BUT friday. You’ll have a much better chance of meeting a girl open for some communication.

Yvonne Rice September 4, 2008 at 10:10 pm

I agree with your theory of the 10 pm rule – if you don’t meet a woman before then – chances are you won’t.

Speaking from a girls perspective of a good night to go out and meet Men? Try a Wednesday night – a lot of single women go out on this particular night to meet Guys – because:

A) It breaks up the week
B) They are hoping to score a date for either the Friday or preferably the Saturday night.

Hope this helps – Stay safe and make good choices.

Eric September 5, 2008 at 11:41 am

I don’t necessarily agree with this. I have met countless wonderful, beautiful women while out on a friday or saturday night. It is rare to talk to women after 10 who just dont want to be bothered talking to a cool guy she hasn’t met before. That is part of the fun whenever anyone goes out on the town.

Now, of course you might get shot down if you ARE the drunk obnoxious guy that these women are annoyed by, but if you walk up cool, collected and you are having fun without being plastered on vodka and Redbull, then you are that much more attractive later in the night.

Sure, some women will be annoyed by men and just want to be by themselves, but they are the minority.

And honestly, I feel that structuring your night just so you can meet women is… a little pathetic. I suggest going out whenever you want to, have fun (hold back on the alcohol) and be social. Even if you run into an annoying group of girls who just want to be left alone, chances are the next girl you talk to will be delighted to talk to a cool, fun guy.

The 10 p.m. rule just doesn’t make sense in real life. If you don’t like going out late then go out early… but if you like to socialize past 10 p.m., and then go for it. There will be more women at the venue, more opportunities and, therefore, a higher chance of meeting a woman (or several) that you are interested in.

-Eric

LMAO@PUAs September 5, 2008 at 4:41 pm

“Let me explain the power of “The 10 p.m. Rule,” and why it works every time.”

Wow! Thanks for declaring this a “rule.” That must be the reason it works “every time.”

You stick to picking up the two-bit divorcees at happy hour; I’ll keep bangin’ the young hotties at 2 am

Scot McKay September 6, 2008 at 2:39 am

Well, considering most of the night-time venues don’t even warm up until after 10p around here (even on weekdays), all I have to say to this are two words: DAY GAME.

That said, maybe San Antonio is different than the point of reference the author is coming from here, but the women are pretty frisky on Friday nights up until the bars close.

Or maybe it’s that after midnight it then counts as “Saturday morning” instead of “Friday night”, huh?

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