How To Handle Flakes by Roosh

July 14th, 2008 • Donovan • Related • Filed Under •

Welcome to the fastest growing seduction tips website for men. Browse the menu above for tons of free articles, interviews and multimedia. Post comments and join with 3500+ regular readers and keep up-to-date automatically with the latest advice with our free subscription methods. Why not signup for a free account with our pickup artist forum that's just been launched? You can ask questions and get help from dating gurus that stop by regularly! -Donovan


I estimate about 20% of attractive girls are flakes. This means she is the type who is wishy-washy about making plans, slow to return phone calls, and prone to cancelling dates at the last minute. How much time and energy you should put into her until you cut your losses and walk away?

It will seem like a huge accomplishment if you bang a flake because of all the hurdles she put you through prior to sex, but you’ll still experience a nagging feeling that doesn’t allow you to enjoy the success as much as you should. It’s because the flake is controlling the frame. She is getting what she wants at the pace she wants while you are mostly tagging along for the ride.

She turns you into a puppy dog that is grateful scraps were put out.

Compare that to banging a girl who follows your rules and your lead. She drives to your house to cook for you, she takes off her clothes when you tell her to, and she calls you after sex and tries to set up the next date. You enjoy the sex and the process to get there, which, in theory, is how it should be.

It’s hard to define a strategy that works well with flakes. Some flakes seem to respond if you chase them, others respond if you don’t. But the most optimal strategy will preserve your alpha status while leading to success. That means you have to be cool and not drool over her, and pull back when she does to let her know that you have other things going on.

In the end the flake has to make the decision to stop flaking in order to allow the seduction to continue. There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop her from flaking besides staying confident and non-needy. While a passive approach to the game in general will lead to less results, I believe this is the best way to deal with a girl who is pulling away from you more than coming in.

After a while of no contact, which often occurs with flakes, throw some bait here or there in the form of an email, random call, Facebook message, or party invite, but don’t make it seem like it is important you get with her. You don’t want her to think that you’re even sexually interested, which is one reason why she flakes in the first place. The main idea is to be “breezy.”

It will be inevitable that you play a good game where you get some action short of sex, but she simply won’t allow you to take things to the next level. If you’ve exhausted all other reasonable options, you will have to make the decision to fold your cards and walk away. Cut her off and don’t respond to her obvious attempts to keep the attention train rolling. By rejecting women in this way, for flaking or not doing what you want, your mind over time will begin to project high value with future girls you meet. Since we only turn down what is beneath us, we trick our brain into thinking desirable women possess less value than we have.

In other words you will never have to explain to other girls that you’ve turned down desirable women (a trait possessed by the most successful men), because they can feel it in the way you talk and act.

You may be thinking, “Well, I will get less notches if I don’t pursue those flakes.” This is possible but there has to be a balance between your happiness level and sexual variety, where you are having sex with the women you want but enjoying it in a low stress way, minimizing the bullshit that makes you think less of the game.

If you are a game newbie, it’s not a bad idea to pursue a couple flakes for educational purposes to observe and learn from their behavior, but not because you see her as something long-term who can provide you with happiness. It’s extremely rare that a flake will make for a nice long-term relationship.

If you are not sure about how to approach, get numbers, and have girls agree to go on dates with you, then check out some sample pages of my Bang book or take the Skills Test to see where you could use some improvement.

Popularity: 7% [?]



There Are 5 Responses So Far. »

  1. Comment by Suave on 14 July 2008:

    I know this super-flake and she is almost like a nun. It’s a very intresting article becouse “regular girls” has even hard to understand how a flake work.

    They way i brought this flake to bed is that i diden ‘t return her phonecalls for almost a hole week. of course it almost hurt her pride somewhat telling me why i haven ‘t picked up the phone. I made up some bullshit that i was feeling ill and that i diden ‘t whant to spread bad energy around me. The respond was that i woulden ‘t ever spread bad energy over her and that she could put me in other thoughts. After the sex it diden ‘t last long she was back in controll again, becouse i was getting way to needy.

    But on the other hand i got just what i wanted, lol

  2. Comment by Thread on 15 July 2008:

    “I estimate about 20% of attractive girls are flakes”

    Really?

    Last time I checked it was about 99.999%…

    The only way to stop getting flakes is to start getting tighter game.

    Flakey girls have sex too… They may act flakey towards you, but not towards the other guys shes having sex with…

  3. Comment by Dennis on 15 July 2008:

    Some interesting points are being made here…
    About folding the cards: I view the game (and the world in general) with wealth consciousness, an abudance mindstate. With his I mean there are billions of people, half are female and of those females a fair amount will be attractive to me…which results in having millions and millions of potentials, that I couldn’t possibly pick up in TWO lifetimes…I sure do try though, lol! But…thinking from this perspective? going after that one little fish in the ENTIRE ocean for MONTHS is like have a hundred year war over Holland: waste of time and energy for meager results at best.
    I say: don’t chase ‘em, replace ‘em. Yes there are women who remain cold for a long period of time and then are the BEST ones doing all the things they can for you…but I myself give a timeframe for the interaction. By then I want to have done … with her, or else Im spending too much time that I could have used on a girl who IS willing to go along with the program. If she flakes until after the frame? I’m gone, no matter what. I’ll tell them ruthlessly honest about it too: I have to much going on in my life to go and deal with wishy washy, yes-no-maybe indivuals who don’t have a sense of direction in their interactions. Why? This way I keep my personal power, my confidence, my alpha male status…and I can’t become needy too.

    When I AM dealing with flakes, I just harden my game.
    She calls? Im not there…she talks? Im not there or Im just leaving, she does something to desperately get my attention back? I dont return the favor, still leaving. Then I go and mix this with jealousy. Why? Most get a kick out of it to flake, makes them feel powerful. To be honest: I KNOW a lot of ladyfriends of mine who’re enjoying it, until the ‘f* that’ comes along disappearing for WEEKS, making them jealous and being distant while there and…they fall in love hopelessly. It’s a bold statement but, in my opinion?
    Most flakes just have GOOD GAME, which means you have to take on the challenge and TOP IT. If not within the timeframe you set, eject. But it’s always a good learning experience in my opinion…

  4. Comment by AlphaWolf on 16 July 2008:

    Tighter game should eliminate flakes. Do you think Brad Pitt would get flakes if he was single?

    “I estimate about 20% of attractive girls are flakes.” - how did this estimation come up?

  5. Comment by Nick on 1 November 2008:

    My policy on flaking - and im not suggesting that everyone should adopt this policy - is zero tolerance. I just make my views known and move on. I do find it hard to get rid of the sense of irritation when someone is inconsiderate and the annoyance that I could have made other plans with someone else in this time but am now sat alone. First has anyone got any ideas on how to quell this sense of irritation?

    This morning a chick texts me with quite a full on invitation asking me if I would like to sleep with her. I told her that i need to catch a few hours sleep as im lacking sleep and if she can come around late afternoon it would be great. She agrees. I go to sleep and wake up 4.30pm. I text her to ask when shes going to be arriving and she texts back saying ‘Sorry I can’t make it, I had some other plans, going with someone to see some fireworks and im sorry I didnt get back to you sooner.’ So in my mind this is ‘End Game’. If someone flakes I find that I am at a better statistical advantage to just cut my losses because lets face it why deal with a dead cat bounce when there billions of other women in the world.

    I call her up and tell her ‘What you mean is that you made some plans then chose to make other plans over them because you you decided something else was a better option, well to me that is disrespect and not something I will be accepting. This kind of thing really irritates me.’ She says ‘Can I see you tomorrow.’ I said ‘No because tomorrow you might just say that something came up and you can’t make it and waste my time.’ She says ‘Im so sorry I made these plans with this guy several weeks ago and I forgot all about them, but we can fix this situation, I will come around to your 10pm tonight OK.’ I said ‘OK you do that but I’m not holding my breath because I don’t trust people who can’t handle plans in a reasonable way. If you’re near here at 10pm give me a call, otherwise don’t call me again.’ She says ‘Yes I will be there, I will call you then.’

    In this situation the I think the probability of her turning up is about 25%. I am fine with the fact that I am not going to chase after someone who either has no manners or cannot manage to organise their life, given that I have girls who call me up to make dates. There is no excuse. If people don’t have a good memory they can use a Filofax or electronic organiser.

    The only problem I face is that rudeness and inconsideration really irritates me and I want to know how to expell this irritation.

Post a Response