Too Many Gurus Spoil The Game

by Editor on May 18, 2008

Too Many Cooks

The new pickup artist forum has been getting a lot of interaction, if you haven’t yet signed up, sign up here.

Some forum guys and I got into a discussion about our stories and where we came from.

4nim4te touched on an important concept:

At this point I’ve been reading a lot as well, without practicing, but lately I’m approaching more and also getting approached by girls. Anyway, field practice is gonna be the way, I think I’m gonna get my mail inbox overflow without reading

I responded with the following:

And personally… running this blog about 2 years ago, my game REALLY hurt. You’d think with getting all the information from the community would be the best thing for game? Wrong.

I knew SO MUCH THEORY that I didn’t have time to practice everything I learned, so it just became a mindscrew. When approaching a girl I would become paralyzed because I had SO MANY TECHNIQUES in my head. Learn from my experience with it. Focus on two gurus per SKILLSET.

For example: READ THE REST ON THE FORUM

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Awesome Pete May 20, 2008 at 6:59 am

If these so called “self proclaimed” “pick up artists” and “GURUS” are “experts” and are “MASTERS OF THE GAME”, then why aren’t they all happily married with kids or at least “settled down” or are “happily in a real relationship” ??????

They claim to have the “technology, skills, and techniques etc.” for this (i.e. getting the girl), yet most of them don’t have much to show and have plenty of reasons as why they are still looking for “the right one”.

A happy marriage and or having children is generally a widely accepted notion of relationship sucess is it not?

Yes, i am aware that everyone’s definition of happiness, success and relationships will differ from person to person, and YES, some people DO NOT WANT marriage and kids, and yes people do fall out of relationships and break up and some actually enjoy being single ….

However, one must agree that marriage & kids, settling down or even being in a long term relationship is significantly a “generally and wildly accepted” indicatior to used to measure success when it comes to “THE GAME”.

If most of the so called “pick up artisits” and “gurus” out there were measured according to “this criteria”, most of them would be considered unsucessful … in “THE GAME”!

It seems like “most of them” talk the talk but don’t walk the walk!

This is our community at the moment, unforunately.

Awesome Pete May 20, 2008 at 7:04 am

I know some of you will totally disagree and thats cool.

But they were my thoughts and feelings about “the community”. Your thoughts and feedback on my last post is appriciated.

Brad May 20, 2008 at 7:46 am

I don’t know if I’m considered a “guru” or not (I hope not… lol)…

… but I’ve been in a long term relationship for roughly a year now.

Scot McKay’s happily married.

David DeAngelo… I’m pretty sure he’s in a LTR right now.

Nash, LTR… Wygant (semi LTR… lol… sorry D)

And these are just the guys that I know and interact with on a personal level…

Bobby Rio May 20, 2008 at 8:45 am

Alot of the guys are in relationships… but I think nowadays people aren’t in such a rush to get married.

As Bill Burr says, “Marriages have a 50% success ratio…if someone told you you’re parachute had a 50% of opening would you jump?”

Scot McKay May 21, 2008 at 9:50 pm

Quote: “Marriages have a 50% success ratio…if someone told you you’re parachute had a 50% of opening would you jump?”

Well, the simple solution for that is to make sure you pack your own parachute.

100% control over your decisions with women at all times is what it’s all about…whatever one’s personal definition of “success with women” is, monogamous LTR or otherwise.

So Awesome Pete, although I appreciate your words as well as the shout out from Brad, I don’t necessarily believe “marriage and kids” is the ultimate for all guys.

This may surprise some to hear, since it has been automatically (and erroneously) assumed by those in the Community at times that I teach that, presumably because of my own personal marriage status.

The definition of “wild success” when it comes to women is owning solid decision making power from a position of strength rather than weakness.

If you WANT to date multiple women, you do so. If after having dated successfully for some time you decide you want a legacy with a great woman and perhaps children (which even Neil Strauss cites as a worthy goal in The Game), then you change course accordingly.

But if you get married because some chick pwned you, you’re not experiencing “success”.

On the other hand, if all you ever wanted was a phenomenal relationship with a great girlfriend and you’re hitting bars in search of ONSs because you believe that being a PUA is your only option, then you’re likewise missing out on “success”.

Know what you want, then deserve that lifestyle. And always remember that what you desire is subject to your own modifications as you experience success along the way.

I certainly spent several years steering clear of “commitment”. But after I’d had enough of that, I decided to go for long-term stability…and had high-quality choices all along the way.

Ultimately, had I not yet met a woman who honestly compelled me to JBF every other quality woman I knew, I’d be happily UNmarried right now.

But the truth is when you set yourself up for complete control over your dealings with women, it’s literally amazing how the pieces fall into place on your schedule.

Cheers,

Scot McKay

Ross Jeffries May 22, 2008 at 12:56 pm

Let’s be very careful about statistics and what they purport to show.

I’m amazed at how otherwise clear-headed and skeptical people seem to go right to sleep when percentages and numbers are thrown their way.

Not one person in 500(ha ha ha-see, I’m doing it myself as a rhetorical device) probably knows how the 50% of marriages end in divorce stats were measured.

And that includes ME.

Why is this important?

Simple:

If the stats were compiled by comparing the number of new marriages per year against the number of new divorces that year, that yields a different significance than if they compared the number of new divorces in a given year against the sum total of all CURRENT, ongoing marriages.

Bottom line: be careful about citing statistics, and most especially those cited commonly as accepted “truth” that no one debates. These seem most probably to be distorted or false.

RJ

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