I received this troubling email from a reader today:
I have a crush on this girl at my school. Once I told her that I have feelings for her, she immediately cut off all communication with me and to this day she refuses to speak with me at all(it’s been a week), and their is no way in hell I am letting her go.
My email back?
Thanks for your email. You probably should.
That sounds a little harsh, but here is my reasoning for such an short answer: When you get “oneitis” you become less attractive when the girl doesn’t reciprocate. This only damages yourself, feeding an addiction and fantasy that will most likely never come to pass, unless you DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Countless emails have piled in my inbox sent by guys in a similar situation that have SINCE moved on and look back in retrospect and are AMAZED at how irrational and weak they were. These guys also tell me how they’ve dated numerous attractive girls AFTER GETTING THEIR GAME TOGETHER and feel great. Some have even bumped into their “oneitis” girl since. Often times, this girl is BLOWN AWAY at the new man they became.
So my advice again is FORGET HER, IMPROVE YOUR SKILLS AND SELF, MOVE ON and REAP THE FUTURE REWARDS.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Donovan, funny to see this. I have a hot little friend who is 21 and who has a guy who is totally obsessed over her in a similar way, and we were just talking about it last night. I think we’ve all been in this situation in some way or another.
Usually it all comes down to two things: sexual addiction (if the relationship has gotten to that point) an identity that is greatly strengthened with the idea of being with the girl.
This manifests itself in all sort of nasty ways and a guy ends up rationalizing everything he does around the idea that he and the girl “should” be together.
This guy needs to pick up a copy of “Way of the Superior Man.” Wish I’d read that book back in high school.
Rock and roll,
Christian
Check it out. AFC dates supermodel (pictures).
Any advice on how he could’ve closed? Help. Thanks.
Look at the above spam comment, how did he close? You guys set the date up!
I quote:
All it took was a call from Zoom and the date was set.
DONOVAN: REMOVED THE LINK. DIDN’T NOTICE AT FIRST. THANKS MIKE
Yeah, people like him are common. They’re called “stalkers.”