Flow (Brad Column)
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I was just reading Sinn’s “Swagger” column when I just got a thought.
You see, I’ve never really told anyone my overall philosophy on attracting women. Likewise, I realize that I’m probably not the best in the world at “the game”… nor do I want to be.
I’m an 80/20 guy. (think 4 hour work week)
Here’s what I mean.
According to Pareto’s Principle, roughly 20% of your actions are going to make up 80% of your results in almost any situation… from work, to sports… and yes… even in your
Interactions with “the ladies”…
Likewise, roughly 20% of your results are going to be directly attributed to the other 80% of stuff.
If you want to be above average, finding the 20% that produces 80% of your results is all you need…
… and it takes less time.
If you want to be GREAT… (think the Michael Jordan of game), then you need to not only get your above average stuff in check… but you spend a lot MORE time on the other stuff… a LOT MORE.
Personally, being above average is fine for me. I just like interacting and finding good chemistry with women.
I don’t care about trying to fuck every hot girl I lay my eyes on… but some people do. It’s just too much work for something that just isn’t that important to me.
Get Your “FLOW” In Check
I call the 20% that gets you 80% your “Flow”
“Flow” is just like it sounds… which is why its such a great metaphor.
It’s unattached to a result… it’s flexible to any outcome.
It’s adaptable
It’s strong and torrent when it needs to be… yet, calm and relaxing as well.
In other words, someone with good “flow” is:
Confident and Secure – they don’t need to dominate every interaction to “prove” their worth, yet they can take control of a situation in a moment’s notice
Adaptable and Unattached – they have fun and mingle well with people, yet are unassuming with any particular outcome.
Good “Flow” is a manifestation of all of this.
Charisma is a form of good “flow”… but not all of it.
Just think of how water “flow” through cracks… around rocks… through tunnels.
It goes where it needs to go to get where its going. It has no defined path.
Throw a rock in the river… it goes around it.
Here’s the kicker, women love to “ride” good “flow”… and I swear I’m not trying any sexual innuendo.
I may not be explaining my “flow” phenomenon in the best of terms… but if you sit back and think on it… you can see where I’m going with this.
Bottom line: First things first – Find your 20% that gets you 80%. Then decide how “good” you want to be. You may find that being GREAT with women, just isn’t worth it… like I did.
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Comment by Bobby Rio on 13 May 2008:
SO true Brad!! I always say concentrate on what you’re really passionate about and the women will flow to you… this is because a passion breads charisma and is contagious.
I also feel the same way about being “great” with women. I’ve had more than my share of girls… and when one leaves I’m quick to find another one…
but i don’t have the love of bars and clubs to get to Mystery’s level of pickup.
Wayne Dyer says “do what YOU love… and sell that love”
Comment by Brad on 14 May 2008:
Yeah… this concept is SO simple… that most people will dismiss it.
Yet, the 80/20 principle is responsible for all of my successes…
Figure out your 20 that gets you 80… and “hammer down”!