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I was in Vegas last weekend with The California Pimp and his friend Big Z. Lately my interests in learning game have ventured outside of the community. I think the community is an amazing resource and has a lot of great tactics and techniques, but to truly innovate and come up with NEW information you have to be able to look at ANYONE who is successful with women and break down what they’re doing and how it works. That led us to the Cali pimp and Big Z. Seeing what these guys do with their delivery, dominance and frame control is amazing. They’re also super charismatic guys. We’re trying to organize a podcast with them sometime this week so stay tuned.
Shockingly because this never happens with me, the conversation turned to game. And Big Z had a lot of really interesting ideas and ways of thinking about things. All of which amounted to his idea of game, which he calls your swagger. Z said the first thing that you need to accept is that everybody gets rejected sometime. And that as a man you have to be able to handle rejection. I couldn’t agree with this more in fact it cracks me up when I hear any guru saying he can pick up any girl, any time, anywhere with a 100% success rate. Even Brad Pitt can’t do that. But the idea that as man you need to possess the strength of character and confidence in yourself to get rejected but not get dejected( hey that rhymes) or beat yourself up is key. John Wooden once said that he never wanted anyone looking at his locker room to be able to tell if his team won or lost a game. This is the core of being detached from the outcome. One of the biggest differences between naturals and non naturals is that naturals NEVER blame themselves for their failures. They always say something to the effect of “ she was a bitch anyway.” That attitude isn’t productive for learning but when faced with rejection you should ask yourself what you could have done differently or what you could learn from this experience. I personally feel that if you aren’t getting any rejections throughout an entire night of gaming, you’re probably not pushing the interaction far enough. This results in a rare disease called celibacy. The ability to face rejection is a key part of swagger because it gives you the ability to tell yourself that you can get rejected and still be ok.

The second part of swagger is a delusional belief in yourself and your abilities. It’s often been said that the best are crazy and delusional. This goes back to one of my key teaching concepts. Beliefs don’t need to be true to be helpful. A lot fo guys when they hear that they should act like the prize or act indifferent get fucked up because they’re true emotions are those of neediness and despair, so to act otherwise seems somehow dishonest. But the truth is it’s simply a matter of belief. Look at religion, UFOs, Magic, or anyone who thinks Leona Lewis is hot. People believe in things that can’t see or prove all the time. So it’s uber important to adopt beliefs that are helpful not necessarily true. These include the idea that people are generally friendly and open to the idea of meeting new people, that women want sex just as much if not more than men do, that you are a catch and any woman would be lucky to be with you. It can even be helpful to write down any reasons you think a woman would be lucky to be with you. Do it right now stop reading this article and write down ten qualities about yourself that women would like about you. I’ll wait….

Ok we’re back. What you believe determines so much of your abilities with women. As Robert Anton Wilson once wrote “ What the thinker thinks the prover proves”. That’s a reference to an actual phenomena that of your Reticular Activation System or RAS for short. Your RAS is tuned to find evidence to support your belifs. So if you have the belief that you suck with women, or are ugly, or not cool enough etc… Then your brain will actually find evidence to support it . If I wanted to find evidence to support the belief that I was bad with women, I could. I’ve done somewhere in the area of 10,000 sets and I’ve slept with only a few hundred girls. That’s not a huge percentage of success. But if I want to believe I’m good with women I can look at the hundreds of success or the crazy situations or super fast lays I’ve gotten or when girls flew across the country for me etc.. It’s all what you’re focused on. There was a great hyperbolic NIKE ad a few years back with a high school football team getting ready for the season or something and at the end they had a close up of the coach who said “ The Man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can’t are both right. Which one are you?

Swagger is conveyed through your body language. Even pronouncing the word conjures up images of a pimped out guy walking leaned back with a cane and a fatty coat. Ok maybe that’s just me but the idea is to convey complete confidence with your body. Shoulders held high and back, walking as if your legs are swinging around a huge cock( Pretend if you’re not me ) walking as if to a secret beat that only you hear. Every movement is smooth and deliberate. The slower the better. One of the first rules I ever adhered to when I was learning game with my natural wing Anthony the Italian Stallion was that “Cool people NEVER run” . Imagine Jay-z or Brad Pitt running. You can’t see it because they’re high value enough that people will wait for them. That’s swagger.

Finally it’s important to develop an aura of comfort in ANY social situation. You want to learn to become TOO comfortable around women. You have to fake this until it actually becomes second nature to be comfortable around girls, or pulling girls home, isolating them, kissing them etc.. But you will never develop that comfort unless you start with it before hand. You can make the decision that no matter what lies your body is telling you, nothing bad is happening. Your body is going to lie to you. Your Anterior Cruciate Cortex is going to make you feel physical sensations that are closely related to pain. You have to ignore them. The more you ignore them the more you will progressively become desensitized to them . Ultimately that horrible stomach pain will merely be a buzzing fly in the background. And your swagger will conquor all.

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