There Are 22 Responses So Far. »

1. 

   Comment by Bobby Rio on 23 April 2008:

   Absolutely brilliant! Guys must read this. Your best column yet Kezia
2. 

   Comment by lasso on 24 April 2008:

   good content but i didnt like the spelling mistakes
3. 

   Comment by Yummy Stale Bread on 24 April 2008:

   I have mixed feelings about this post. I feel that this is completely relevant if you are just becoming involved with a girl in the sense of just meeting her and getting to know her and you are interested in seeing her relatively soon after meeting her or if you have no intention of developing a real friendship, but if for some reason seeing her is not an option at the time and a long lasting friendship begins to develop, then she will eventually begin to talk about her personal problems as well as yours and begin to become more comfortable around you and that doesn’t mean that she isn’t interested or attracted to you and that you cannot become intimate with such friends down the road.
4. 

   Comment by Kezia on 24 April 2008:

   I was implying more on the lines that she keeps discussing her problems rather than yours. Believe me that girls have plenty of shoulders to cry on, we collect them!

   Sorry about spelling mistakes, I went to a school that taught us Art rather than English!
5. 

   Comment by metalhaze on 24 April 2008:

   Kezia that was an EXCELLENT post 5 stars.
   I want to say that honest women like you are soooooo rare to find.

   Yes it’s true that women want to please men, they want to impress them, they want to be qualified by them nonetheless a man’s job is also not to let her feel that she is being taken for granted or even worse, being ‘used’

   women enjoy the chase way more than men, so me be a challange!
6. 

   Comment by Sethalicious on 27 April 2008:

   “You have a nice ass.” That’s what I text messaged her. From the above article, I figured I was in “LJBF” territory. But, I sent that message, partly in jest, and she called me within seconds. On the phone, I stopped being “friendly”, and made clear my intentions. I was obvious about wanting to have sex with her, but in a fun way. I said it with smile and fun in my voice. She was totally into it. I was surprised. She told me she wasn’t used to guys being straight forward like that. We ended up having a few hours worth of convo. At each iteration of talk, I told her how I wanted her, but, at the same time, stressed how I don’t need any stupid shit in my life. Basically, I said I wanted her, but I don’t need her. She loved it. The last part of the conversation was about how horny she was and for me to call her tomorrow.

   Thing is, from the above article, I was totally in the “friend” territory. I didn’t make it known to her how I wanted her. That’s why she was surprised when I got sexual. But she enjoyed it. The point I’m making is, it’s possible to reverse the “LJBF” situation if you are honest. Honest and funny.
7. 

   Comment by Kezia on 28 April 2008:

   you must have been keeping her on her toes somehow, maybe she fancied you straight away?
8. 

   Comment by cc on 2 May 2008:

   I just luv how you guy’s have turned this into an artform…I’ve got so much to learn. Lucky for me I find these routines as funny as hell. I’ts just pure evil to control women this way. Infact they deserve and should expect nothing less…evil for evil.
   There is no doubt when a man stops thinking with his cock, he is by far superior ..LOL
9. 

   Comment by C on 15 May 2008:

   To truly be a man you have to be comfortable correcting women. Dominant, but not domineering. You must lead and part of that is learning to disagree or admonish her in a mature & respectful way. It creates trust! Because if a woman never sees you disagree or become dissapointed at behavior she herself knows is poor, then she knows your not being honest and not owning/expressing your feelings. She won’t trust you to be her man. Great article!
10. 

    Comment by Batzing on 2 July 2008:

    Are we men? I’m seriously asking this question? Personally, I don’t need to look for all these “signs”. When I want a women she knows it. I don’t hide it. I hate to say but doesn’t this just come down to not being a pussy? Stop hiding and let them know you want them. I’ve never niced a girl into bed and I’ve never been smacked for going too far.
11. 

    Comment by Batzing on 2 July 2008:

    I think one of the problems is that people are taking the concept of disqualification to far. It’s only needed in the first few minutes in set. To lessen the resistance. Then you should show intent.
12. 

    Comment by Drew Feeney on 8 July 2008:

    Batzing is right. It’s important to follow the model and disqualification is primarily only for the first few minutes to lower the protection shield, if needed. But showing intent shold be sexy, and that means the occasional disqualifier or takeway should keep being thrown in during comfort, just to keep the tension going and keep her on her toes.
13. 

    Comment by Steve on 8 July 2008:

    Kezia, let me ask you something…this is gonna sound a bit un alpha male and un pick up artist but I don’t really care. How does this translate to when you are really in love with someone and you start to develop a serious long term relationship with them? You know, once all the barriers have disolved, you know each other pretty much inside out and you completely accept each other, faults included?

    Do you think it’s important for the guy to be of higher value than the women in a long term relationship for attraction to still be there or can a relationship with the same male/female value levels still have that spice.

    I’ve got my own opinions on it but I’m curious what you think from a female perspective.

    Cheers
    Steve
14. 

    Comment by Jason on 19 July 2008:

    I agree with this article to a certain extent. The whole point of a pick up is to create attraction, not another friend. Where I agree at is during the first month or so of dating a girl this is true. You dont want her to get to comfortable. You want her to know you’re an amazing guy that she could possibly lose if she disrespects in anyway. However, if she passes the “probationary period” at some point you have to start really getting to know eachother. Some might disagree with me and say you should never let her talk to you about these topics, but id rather know up front if a girl has a psychotic ex bf that used to beat her than have no idea until he shows up one day and surprise! But very good advice.
15. 

    Comment by twowords on 27 July 2008:

    I only know her for 3 months..(and meet face to face 3 times,,.the third time i told her if i wan chase her got chance a not. and she say she is not good gal, and we not know each other so long..then i say nvm (stupid,i shd say i also not good guy)..and i also say even i wan buy, also need seller wan sell..and she said not she dun wan sell, just not so fast..

    and the fallowing week we meet again (went for lunch, movie, and dinner).. we having fun playing with hp/taking photo and writing on tissue paper…

    I can feel she is some kind of open type of gal..so i dont know if she is like me anot…
    I am wondering why she ask me if i got paktor before…is this a hint i should do something? she also share her love experience with me…
    and should i direct go hold her hand? this seem not polite..
    and do i need to call her everyday? go find her everyweek? i am working and she is studying.

    How long i need before i really confess?
16. 

    Comment by twowords on 27 July 2008:

    Awaiting response from Kezia…
    Please help Kezia…i am lost..totally lost..
17. 

    Comment by twowords on 28 July 2008:

    Where is kezia?
18. 

    Comment by The Doctor on 25 August 2008:

    Kezia..You make a good point that you need to add that sexual tension early on in meeting her. And not a compliment either, but something suggesting your true intentions.

    But despite what we want, a women might just put you in the friends category and there is nothing you can do. It might have nothing to do with you are your approach. There is a whole psychology behind it and there could be a ten foot wall up that she deceided you are not getting over. Don’t take it personally.

    Advice..She actually might make a good friend. If this is a consistant pattern for you than evaluate you approach or ask one of you new female friends directly. Remember good loking girls travel in packs and have good looking friends.
19. 

    Comment by Rival on 17 October 2008:

    good article, spelling mistakes, no wonder that guy cant score.
    you want to hear about your girls periods, her ex-boyfriends.
    This chick’s right, if your girl friend too relaxed in her comfort zone,and treats you like her private agony aunt (priceless)she,s gonna become lazy. It,s like trying to light a fire under her, she no longer cares what you want or want to do, and they allways have an answer or an excuse to mess up your head.
    Learn from this, move on and practice. I know you cant shut them out completely but get your inner game together first and think how you are going to respond to any problems or ‘tests she going to pull on you
    dont repeat the same mistakes or every woman you have are just going to be the same.

    RIVAL
20. 

    Comment by mysteryosity on 20 October 2008:

    So…I’m 21, handsome and starting to get it…If I was to say that “I find you very unusually attractive (for a nerd who spends too much time on the internet) but that I think you haven’t put in enough effort or tried hard enough in this post and that I personally think that you spend too much time thinking about all this stuff and not enough gaining new experiences in the real world…outside the dating world… also, Whats that bandana about!? I hope thats not your picture…I’d never let them do that to me…but do you honestly think that looks attractive??” I would come across as being somebody who knows what he likes, has an interesting life, isn’t stunned by your good looks and just generally a more attractive guy than a lot of others?

    Where-as if I was to tell you about problems I have with women etc etc etc I would be seen as another one of these losers looking for dating advice…”friend” material?

    one piece of advice guys, get a life and make it interesting…do stuff! travel, play sports, make music, get out there and do anything that can make you more interesting…you don’t need a woman to make your life fun, women will soon follow once you fully understand this…

    sincerely,
    Mysteryosity
21. 

    Comment by carmelskin on 11 November 2008:

    Wow, thank you for that Kezia, I was playing the game and found myself always in the company of women but not always getting a kiss close… after reading that i understand why and what and where i was going wrong. It’s time to start fixing them…

    x
22. 

    Comment by Mr. Perfect on 12 November 2008:

    AHHHH.. The friend zone haha.. This is one of my favorite topics. In a controlled setting I’ve allowed my self access to that forbidden area, just to prove a point and thus solidify my belief that guys and girls can’t be just friends where attraction and sex is involved or intended. I have explained this topic clearly not only to girls but also to guys and it’s funny my favorite saying is that “I believe so strongly that guys and girls can NOT be just friends if there is attraction involved that I want it on my grave stone!” lol..

    But anyways.. One of the easiest ways I’ve found to avoid being in the friend zone is making it perfectly clear right from the first conversation. One thing I’ve said before was “Look.. I’m going to be outright honest with you, I’m sorry but as much of a great girl as you may be or think you are.. I could never be your friend!” as I proceed to walk away she’ll stop me and ask.. “BUT WHY?!” (and this was all before I ever studied pua material mind you) After she said that I would continue with the conversation and explain to her. That I couldn’t be her friend because I thought she was an attractive girl.. and I don’t see the point in just being friends with a girl I would want to ravage in bed. Usually at this point I would get some sort of reaction.. Usually a “wow!” OR an “OMG! I can’t believe you just said that!” Which instantly put me in a different light in her eyes.

    BOOM! Nixed the whole friend thing right in the ass! Sometimes I’d play with them and be a lot more vulgar and would say something like “Okay let’s say for instance I decided to play along with your shenanigans and was your ‘friend’ we both decide to go hang out at the mall or something and than you start talking about something that I obviously have no interest in or even remotely care about.. What do you think is going on in my head?” She pauses for a second and thinks about it.. Some girls get it right the first time some come up with some off the wall thing.. But I than go back and say “The only thing that would be going on in my head is the thought of how great your tits would look in my face while you were riding my dick.” Here comes once again.. yup! You guessed it.. the SHOCKED look! The conversation usually continues on, sometimes about the dynamics of what a real “friendship” is and how I do things with my friends like race cars, or talk business, or play sports, or shoot guns. (Name off things you wouldn’t particularly care to do with that girl) But at the end I make it clear that I would NEVER want to sleep with my FRIENDS.. and her well I’d love to just rip her panties off.

    So finally after all of this, when she is still talking to you she will usually put you on a pedestal for being such a man of confidence for having the balls to out right say that to her.. as most guys wouldn’t. This is what will differentiate you from other men. She’ll look up to it.. and hell if she doesn’t guess what.. IF you strictly wanted to sleep with her and nothing else than you might as well cut that tie immediately anyways and it’s a great way to do that.. But I’m much more of a “Black and White” kind of person I don’t prefer to play games if I can help it. It’s like if I could ask a cow for milk and she gave it to me without having to put in the work to actually milk the cow, than why not?

    But if you’re new to this whole thing you may think doing something like this is a bit outlandish… But I ask you, would you rather live a life of blue balls or empty balls? Just a thought.

    I hope you enjoyed my little story.

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