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Most of you have heard of Sinn, he was the lead instructor at The Mystery Method for about 3 or so years but has recently gone off on his own. He offers a unique perspective and is also going to be doing a weekly column here on Fridays.

How did you get into the community?

I actually got into the community before I lost my virginity. I lost my virginity to a chubby girl I met on the internet after I first read David Deangelo’s “Double Your Dating”. Then I had two years of unintentional celibacy. After that I decided I was going to try the Fast Seduction newbie challenge which consisted of going out to the mall( Alone which was terrifying to me at the time) and saying “hi” to 50 strangers. This led to Mystery’s 50 sets a week challenge. Which led to me doing 50 approaches a week. 7 a day to be exact(at the mall) for like a year and a half. It took me 6 months to get my first lay from it. But I dropped all ego and looked at this as if I was coming from the lowest possible point. Which I probably was…

What do you think is the single biggest thing you’ve learned in the community?

I would say the best thing the community provided, was being able to diagnose what I was doing wrong. The community principles and the road map of steps changed my thinking from “Man that girl did not like me “ to “Ok I made a mistake in qualification and she thought I didn’t actually like her…” That made things a whole lot easier. And while I have subsequently dropped routines and stuff like that from my game, I think that knowing how sex happens and where you are in the process is an invaluable asset.

What would you say is the single biggest factor in whether or not someone will get good at “The Game”?

I actually think that there are two overwhelming factors that determine success. The first is the ability to look yourself in the mirror honestly and accept some possibly ugly truths about yourself and the way you interact with people. You have to look at this objectively.

So many guys get really bummed out because they don’t look at where they are at realistically and look for solutions. I learned a lot about this from the book “The Inner Game of Tennis” . In the book the author talks about how when he would ask a student to describe the problems in their game, they would say things like “My backhand is terrible”. When in reality they hit the ball with too much backspin, or they didn’t follow through enough. The thing is they subjectively assume this is a bad result as oppose to looking at what’s wrong and trying to fix it. So guys come to me and they are too busy judging themselves as not being good enough when they just lack a skill or a new way of thinking about things. You have to able to stop judging yourself or trying to be someone you’re not accept where you’re at and then set goals and work hard to get there. And the weird thing is my students are among some of the coolest guys I’ve ever met. That’s one of the things I’m excited about now is being able to work closer with students for longer periods of time.

The second factor that I think affects whether or not a guy is going to get good is discipline. See everyone who finds the seduction community is smart. Stupid people just don’t find the community. They don’t sit there asking if there are algorithms or classes to get better with women. And smart people are great. Unfortunately one of the things they are really great at is making excuses. You have to do the work to get good at this. And it’s not easy. It’s unbelievably worth it once you get the good. But it’s a long difficult process where you are going to immensely challenge a lot of beliefs you have about yourself, women., sex and relationships… And it can be difficult to get over sticking points. Most guys never get good, because they aren’t disciplined enough to keep working at developing the skills. Most guys want the magic pill, he easy fix, and that’s not what we provide. But in exchange for a good deal of discipline and hard work, you will be able to constantly have beautiful, amazing, women who have all the qualities you want in your life. But that discipline means doing the approaches, it means not giving in to fear, or laziness, or excuses that you know are bullshit. It means working on your skillset until you find the woman (or women) of your dreams and can keep her. One of the things David Deida says in “The Way of The Superior Man” is to stop looking for completion with anything. Life is a process of working on things. You will be dealing with women for the rest of your natural life. You will always be using your skills with women, and trying to develop yourself as a person. Always ,so be disciplined about it but recognize it’s now a part of your routine. Same as showering.

What do you think game is?

I always think of game as having three parts inner psychology, skillset, and lifestyle. This means that the combination these three variables will be your result. A lot of guys fall into the trap of trying to develop a lifestyle, but not having the skillset to take advantage of it. Or guys will sit at home and work on heir inner game until they become too confident to actually feel the need to talk to women. Or guys will go out and just practice routines and lines and they end up like me going to some real dark places because I was getting girls based on what I was doing as opposed to who I was. To me the real beauty of the idea of these three things is working on them all in unison. By understanding your job better or starting to pursue a side passion in addition to your 9-5, you become a more interesting person which helps your skillset because when you talk about yourself you have cooler things to talk about. By gradually changing your ways of thinking by becoming more positive or being less critical you feel better about yourself and people will like you more because you like yourself more. So it all works together and that’s why I’m never going to be teaching more than 6 students at a time EVER again. It’s just not enough personalization. That’s my biggest goal as a teacher, to teach EXACTLY what that particular student needs to get better.

What’s different about what and how you teach?

I always say that I’m a little different because I try out everything. I’ve played around with every different system out there from Brad P’s stuff to Speed Seduction and everything in between. I’m not dogmatic. I recognize that every student is different and what works for one guy because of his unique advantages, another guy may not be suited for. I also believe in efficiency. I don’t want to be running around doing 20-30 approaches a night to get laid. Ideally I want to do one approach and take that specific girl home that night. But at the same time I don’t impose my goals on my students. I think if there is one place where being judgmental has no place, it’s the Secret Underground Internet Seduction Community

Whatever your goals are, chances are I’ve worked on that part of my game be it Making girls fall in love with you for long term relationships(Breakthrough Comfort) or picking up strippers in a strip club, I’ve done it and taught others to do it too. I don’t believe that there are any one perfect system and I won’t claim to have one. But I do have an intimate working knowledge of all systems and I’ve retained what’s worked the fastest for me and my students such as Future, El Topo, Ozzie from RSD, The Don, Braddock, and a ton of guys who got good and left the community because they achieved their goals. That’s what I’m about guys reaching their relationship goals, whatever they may be.

Why did you leave The Mystery Method?

I think at this point of my life, I need to be running my own thing. I have very specific ideas about what I want to do in terms of products, instructor quality etc.. I had a great time working for that company and I’m still friends with a bunch of those guys and continue to endorse them. And they feel the same.

What do you think the biggest mistake guys make with women is?

I think the single biggest mistake guys make is that they freak out when they get a response from a woman that they don’t understand. I’m a big believer in adaptability. Most guys have bought into this idea of the perfect pick-up. They believe that if you larn every routine or tactic or master body language, or whatever you will be able to effortlessly float through all your interactions with women without any awkwardness. That’s entirely the wrong type of thinking. Things will never be perfect and a large part of game is the ability to figure out on the fly why you’re getting a bad response and what you need to do to fix it. But most guys who come to bootcamps , as soon as a girl says something challenging(Even flirtatiously) they clam up or let their discomfort show. To me I NEVER let it seem like I’m uncertain about anything when interacting with women, even when inside I’m frantically trying to figure out what to next. I also don’t shut up when I’m uncomfortable, I talk more. That was a big lesson too, when I first started I would record myself and listen to it over and over to hear the differences between when an interaction worked or didn’t. I noticed that a lot of what I was saying back then didn’t hit. But because I kept talking and changing subjects, eventually something would hook. I think if all guys just remained calm or even just projected a calm demeanor when being tested by women, their results would get 50% better.

Women especially attractive women are always noticing your comfort level around them, be it socially, or sexually. If you telegraph that you don’t know what to do and that you’re looking to her to see if anything is ok, she loses attraction. There was a great quote on the “ Sex and The City “ episode about “modelizers” ( guys who only date models) this guy said that you have to be able to walk up to the hottest girl in the bar and treat her just like every other girl. He further elaborated that the same dogs smell fear women smell a lack of confidence. I agree with both points. But the coolest thing is that you can train yourself through progressive desensitization train yourself to actually become more comfortable in these situations. It’s a matter of reframing them in your mind not as terrifying but as opportunities for growth or as intense experiences. Then regularly pushing yourself out of your comfort zone until your comfort zone expands.

You teach a day game program, talk to me a little about day game.

Day game is really about your ability to be a normal person. Everything slows down during the day and there is much more of a focus on rapport and qualification as opposed to attraction. You also want to be careful not to creep the girl out by being too touchy. I always say you never touch a girl during the day in a way that you would be uncomfortable touching your boss.
I love day game because I think it allows you to practice your skillset all the time. I remember one of the things that always bugged me was seeing that super hot girl walking the opposite direction of me during the day when I knew that if I never talked to her, I would never see her again. That’s why I got in the game. I also think it expands and improves the quality of women that you meet. A hot medical student is unlikely to be up in “da club” at 2 AM on a Wednesday.

The biggest problem guys have meeting women during the day is that they try too hard to get attraction. Most guys confuse sexual attraction ( Which is generated through arousal) with the attraction that we create ( Which is generated through communication). I always try to qualify women as quickly as possible during the day because you have legitimate time constraints and most of the time, the act of looking together and approaching is enough to get attraction.

You also teach a program on picking up strippers any tips on that?

Yeah I originally learned how to pick up strippers from Mystery but as the years went on I came up with a bunch of my own ideas, that contradicted a lot of his stuff. Like the idea of letting a girl sit in your lap while you talk to her, or not hammering at the idea of not being a customer right away. But it wasn’t until I met Shaft in Dallas that my ideas really took off. He was doing a bunch of stuff with compliance and investment that was light yeas ahead of where I was. See stripper game all comes down to the duel between her two sub-personalities. The salesman(Or stripper) and the real girl. This is where the idea of cognitive dissonance comes in because there are only so many things a salesperson can do for you before they start to compromise their beliefs and have to justify that they are doing these things for you not to get a sale but because they like you. So the key is to grow that real girl while not doing anything to make that stripper personality uncomfortable.

What’s your best technique for guys looking to get better at Same Night lays?

I think the biggest factor in SNLs is knowing your logistics and seeding the pull. That means that somewhere in normal conversation you ask the girls what they are doing later. Then when they respond you have a plan that you are going to do. So when 2 Am rolls around they’ve already heard about the after party or the great Crepe place you like to get breakfast at. A lot of SNLs comes from actually having the balls to push risk losing the set. As Brad P says “ Blow me or blow me out.”

What can we expect to see from you now that you’re on your own?

The first thing I’m going to be doing is a tour of all the lairs that will have me all over the world. It’s really important to me to be a man of the people now. I think all of us instructors have spent far too much time in our ivory towers and not enough time meeting and trying to help our fans that make our lifestyle possible. So I want to get out there talk to these guys and tell them how the community helped me and how it can help them if they let it. I also hope that my story serves as a cautionary tale to keep other guys from losing themselves like I did. So if you have a lair and want to get me to come talk to you guys email me at sinnstravel@gmail.com.

I’m also offering personalized routine stacks that focus on teaching guys to convey who they actually are while setting the proper frames and having way points for escalation so even the most basic beginner knows when to move the girl into isolation, ask for a phone number, pull them home… etc.

Finally, I’m going to be coming out with a bunch of products including DVD sets for Breakthrough Comfort, Same Night lays, and Getting Started in the Game. Plus we’ll be releasing a monthly mastermind series where myself, El Topo, and Captain Jack discuss various aspects of game, lifestyle and inner psychology.

I’m going to continue to teach students in field as that’s my roots and allows me to really put my expertise to it’s best use. But I will not be working with everyone. I’m going to actively screen my students to make sure I only work with guys who are committed and dedicated to getting EVERYTHING they want out of their relationship lives. I know it’s possible.

I think I speak for most guys here when I say that I’m looking forward to Sinn’s weekly column here. You can access it via the main navigation at the top.

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