Valentines Day: What's Love Got To Do With It?

My friend Travis, who I’ve been friends with for years and who has no relation to this community, wrote this essay for an English class. I thought it would be fitting to post it here. I only got this yesterday although I would have loved to post it on Valentines. Next year…

During the course of the year there is one day that men have come to fear and despise. What day could cause such a response one might ask? What is it about this particular day that could make men go so crazy? Its not only men that go crazy on this day though, some would argue that women are even more adversely affected by this day.

No matter what the outcome caused by this event is, there is never enough good to out weigh the bad. Valentines Day is the worst day of the year.

The history of Valentine’s is a simple one. St Valentine was arrested in Rome and beaten to death and beheaded because he would not deny the faith. He was then made the patron saint of epilepsy because he had it in life. February 14th was the day that he was martyred. He also became the patron saint of lovers when the pagan Februarca or festival of love, which was on the 15th, was assimilated in to the Christian faith. It became a popular holiday in which people passed Valentine cards in 1700′s.

Unfortunately what started out as a wonderful idea has mutated into a monster of epic proportions. A holiday that was once about sending cards to loved ones explaining how they feel, has turned into a day in which florist and jewelers throw millions of advertising dollars at because they want to push their product. We can’t blame them though, it is a free market society and they are just living by supply and demand. If we put the blame anywhere, we have to put it with us, the consumer.

Now if I were going to be biased I would say that it is all the women’s fault and that men are blameless when it comes to this day. But I know that some men are just as much to blame as women are. But the point of this paper is not to place blame for the day but to show why, at least to men, this is the worst day of the year.

No let me break it down for you in simple terms. Women have brought all of the heartache of this day upon themselves. How might we ask have they done this? I will give you a scenario. John comes home from work just like any other day. He has had a long day at the office and what he wants more then anything is to just kick off his shoes and relax, have a drink, watch the news, maybe even hit the sack early. But today is Valentines Day and the little Mrs. isn’t having any of that. The lack of flowers and or roses and or dinner and or jewelry and or poetry have doomed our good man to weeks and weeks of mistreatment by his significant other. There will also be a reminder of his Valentines Day failure for a lifetime, women never forget some things.

Now this situation could have and might have happened to all of us. Why might we ask is this so?

Another scenario for us: John comes home from work. He has made reservations, bought roses, found the baby sitter, if necessary, and even written a poem for the woman in his life. He is a bout to be in really good graces for at least a couple of days. Its April 14th, so what’s the difference.

Appreciation rather than expectation, that is the difference. On April 14th his significant other appreciates the gesture. She sees the man as a thoughtful, wonderful, romantic man. Yet when the same thing happens on the 14th of February its more like: It’s a damn good thing you remembered.

Expectation is a dangerous thing especially when the expectations are coming from women. What rational thought makes them think they deserve a gift or a thought anymore on this day then on any other? Not that women shouldn’t be given things like this, because they should. They should just not expect it.

Tom Shane from the Shane Company has a saying “If you love her, show her with a carat or bigger.” I have a saying “Kill Tom Shane!” The commercialization of this so called holiday has lead women to believe that: 1. they really do deserve and 2. That if a man doesn’t get them things, he doesn’t love them. Expectations!

I am going to be blunt here for just a second. Any women reading this should know that I say this not to be malicious but to really drive home a point. Something that is appreciated is a gift. Something that is expected is a payment. We all know what kind of women we pay, and I don’t want to call any of the women I know by that title. I just want them to appreciate the effort and forgive AND forget the mess ups.

Could this have all been avoided? I don’t know. But I do know that there really isn’t any easy solution to this problem. We can keep going on like this for ever and ever, but with the commercialization of all our holidays we need to realize that things possibly wont get better and probably will get worse. If we could just make Valentines Day a floating holiday and not let women or any type of vendor know what day it is going to be on any given year, then we can solve this problem. But trying to accomplish anything on a scale as grand as that is very near impossible.

So when we can get the expectation out of this day, then we will be able to remove the fear and despising of the day from the men. Men should be able to live with out the fear that a forgetful moment on one day might stick with them for the rest of their lives. Remove the expectation and remove the fear. If and only if we accomplish this will this day return to being a holiday rather than a tax day. But until then Valentines Day remains: The worst day of the year.