How I Reframe Rejection

I never used to be able to deal well with rejection. Now that I think about it, the possibility of rejection used to control my actions. I’d be lying if I said that I still don’t have a fear of rejection to some degree, but I think it’s now within a manageable level.

Here’s what I do:

If I ever get rejected, which rarely is as bad as you picture it, reframe it.

You’ll notice naturals doing this. If a girl doesn’t respond well to you, ignore it and move on. I noticed my friend, who is extremely good with women, doing this the other night. He did his little dance move that he always does at this house party and the girl didn’t respond. Instead of it effecting his state of mind, he moved on and ended up dancing with his now girlfriend.

It’s all about how you frame the situation. He could have easily said, “That girl didn’t like my dancing, and therefore me.” But he instead just wrote it off, didn’t dwell on it, and moved to the next girl for success.

Heard this before?

“I’ve got a boyfriend.”

This could be a form of rejection. Instead, why not reframe it?

“Are you happy with it?”
“Looking to upgrade?”
“Would he care if we started hanging out?”
“I’ll tell you what, how about we go out once, and if you have more fun with me, you can break the bad news to him.”