Paul Janka: A Casanova That Roams New York City (Video)

by Editor on February 4, 2008

You can see Paul’s official site at www.attractionformula.com

Did you see Paul Janka’s appearance on Dr Phil?

Paul Janka is a man I just become aware of through a friend. Paul Janka was recently featured on MSNBC. Paul Janka lives and seduces in New York City and is extremely successful at it. Apparently, it’s a numbers game for him. Direct is his game. With NYC having millions of residents, one can never run out of single, attractive women. My friend tells me that he’s hung out with him, and he’s the real deal. This friend of mine in NYC has already learned alot about seduction through him, and that’s coming from a guy that’s run a pick up company. Here’s the video (I’m going to try and get the words straight out of Paul’s mouth soon in an interview):

Paul Janka’s Dating Techniques

What’s my dating philosophy? I was on the phone last night with two friends and we were discussing the dos and don’ts of dating in New York City. From that conversation, I can thread out a few general themes. Before we get there, though, let me say I have a dual aim when I spend time with a woman: to have fun and to maintain my integrity as a man. Maintaining my integrity means honoring what I want in the process and not being manipulated by a woman’s agenda. This has to be an active process because I’ve found that women in the City – consciously or not – operate by a societal script that doesn’t incorporate my interests as a man.

A man needs a goal when he spends time with a woman

An analogy: having run a small business in my twenties, I have experience with meetings during which much is said, but at the end of which little is accomplished or acted upon. Ten people may get together in a room, chat for 30 minutes and then disperse. Without actionable items and measures for accountability, the meeting may as well never have occurred. The same is true with dating. A stroll through SOHO with a girl, holding her shopping bag and exchanging pleasantries doesn’t advance the couple and both parties leave with nothing. It’s not just the guy who feels blah; the girl has a weak impression of the date (and the man) in her mind. In my twenties I spent plenty of “dates” eating, walking, movie-watching with a girl and then we’d part company with a hug and a peck. What are we both thinking as we walk away? Because nothing compelling happened, we both leave with some version of, “That was nice. He’s a good guy/girl.” If nothing of consequence occurs, the afternoon is not memorable. And a guy pursuing an attractive woman can’t afford to make a mild impression. Not in New York.

Challenge a woman immediately to force her out of her comfort zone

Just as in sales, you need to offer a proposition to your prospect. In fact, this is done on the street in the first 10 seconds when I ask for a telephone number. Shit or get off the pot, right? I found that unless I force a decision upon the woman, I learn nothing about her. Is she open-minded, a risk-taker, or closed and conservative? Can she adjust to new information, or does it confuse her? In my experience, the real interesting part of dating is the drama that unfolds when I’m unyielding about a position and I get to see how the woman reacts. This is not as hostile as it sounds; I simply believe that in the chaos of NYC dating, I’ll only get to see a woman’s true colors when she has to decide. The rest is platitudes, pleasantries and bullshit. No one ever reveals themselves by being polite, is my experience.

To effectively date in The City, a man needs to confidently override a woman’s agenda

As I mentioned earlier, women often have an imagined ideal for a date. This may involve many things I’d rather not do (and pay for) with a complete stranger: dinner at Daniel, drinks in the Rainbow Room, the opera — all of this is fine if I really enjoy the person. But with a woman I hardly know this an unacceptable risk to wallet and watch. Not to mention the slim chance of either party wanting to get physical after such a marathon night. In addition, women often say they “want to go out (on the town) so they can get to know me,” which is contradictory. Spending time with me in my apartment will show them more about who I am than cavorting about town. And in my experience, young women often brag to their girlfriends about where they went and what they ate, rather than who they were with. That’s a lousy deal for the sap who funds the night. Decide what you want and how you want to get it (such as sex with a woman) and go for it. In the end, they’ll respect you more for it, even if they walk. Women, as most guys eventually learn, can’t respect a man they can manipulate.

Don’t search for compatibility through dating, just have fun

This is an important point, because as my friend Chris says, “Very few people are, in fact, really compatible.” In my case, I eventually found a women with whom I had a tremendous commonality of interests, lifestyle and attitude, but it was a fluke — simply a byproduct of meeting many women. As a man, when I hear the phrase “I want to get to know you first,” I cringe because intimacy takes a long time and doesn’t adhere to any formulaic timetable. In reality, the odds are against our being truly compatible and by the time that’s evident, the opportunity for carefree fun will have passed. I understand that women have a biologically-driven need to feel connected with a man before sex, but the reality is men have myriad schemes, personas and other illusions to shield their true selves from a woman whom they want to screw. If true compatibility exists, it will emerge well after the initial sexual phase of a relationship has passed.

There you have it, a summary of some tenets of my dating philosophy, a decidedly contrarian approach!

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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

MrWhistler February 4, 2008 at 10:55 am

Seems like he has a great mindset for what he does. I think in the interview he could have done a lot more to illustrate the modern disconnect between casual dating or encounters and searching for a “soulmate.” His methods seem like an interesting hybrid between natural game and practiced progressions, though.

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Tight Game February 4, 2008 at 12:46 pm

They really try to slam him on the talk show, painting him as creepy and manipulative, and then confronting him with a sex-addiction expert. It seems like whenever corporate media takes on pickup they put a negative slant on it, or it becomes a parody of pickup (e.g Mystery’s show). This is why pickup will never go mainstream- the media center of gravity for the seduction community will remain blogs and podcasts.

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Yummy Stale Bread February 4, 2008 at 5:38 pm

Ross Jeffries during an interview on Pickup Podcast has made a similar point about why the community would never become mainstream. He said that people in the community are portrayed as freaks, losers, or the stereotypical pickup artist and then further went on to describe the concept of the community being portrayed behind a laughter curtain. It was pretty interesting stuff. He describes it much better than I can. The interview can be found on Pickup Podcast # Episode 41 and this specific discussion began 9 minutes into the interview.

I also have my own beliefs on why the pickup community will never go mainstream. Most guys just do not believe this stuff will work and secondly most guys are not willing to put the time and energy necessary into studying and applying the material, concepts, and principles to their lives for it to work.

Most guys will watch that interview and think that Janka is either full of crap or feel threatened and make fun of him in some way while most women will characterize him as a creep or a jerk.

Our culture and our programming as a result of our culture are not geared towards accepting the pickup community as main stream. It will always be on the fringes of self help and relationship advice.

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Seduction Chronicles February 4, 2008 at 7:41 pm

Yummy, thanks for the info. Great breakdown of the role of pick up artist community in the mainstream. It’s a great reason to stick around!

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gigi February 5, 2008 at 12:29 am

Paul Anka has actually written a manual about his methods, called:

Getting Laid in NYC: Technology for the Single Man

you can read it here:

http://www.puaratings.com/articles/janka-nyc

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Monin February 6, 2008 at 3:53 am

This clearly shows whats pickup is about – mindset ;)

All crap you hear is just adding up to a better mindset.

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Brad February 6, 2008 at 11:41 am

Rule #1: Decide what you want… go for it… and kick the shit out of whoever gets in your way.

Rule #2: See if that way works. If not, tweak and repeat.

Works for me… lol.

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bubbafett February 15, 2008 at 7:38 pm

“This clearly shows whats pickup is about – mindset”

Well, that and GQ-like looks, lol.

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Chrissy June 30, 2008 at 3:12 pm

I have to disagree with his views.

I believe his ignorance will get the best of him. Women are not “lower” than men, and shouldn’t be treated as an object. The types that do let these creepy guys hit on them are suffering with self-esteem issues, or are so shocked by his forwardness that it is hard to come up with a decent reaction.

Oh, by the way. I know dingier guys who have easily slept with more women than this creep. His tactics are primitive and unintelligent; he has the wrong idea.

For all the men out there. I know that a lot of young guys are driven by more instinctual means of “spreading the seed”. I hope you realize someday (sometimes it takes men decades to realize this) that there is no greater wonder in life than having a good, trustworthy relationship.

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tamago July 5, 2008 at 2:58 am

Im polyamorous, radically honest, and am in relationships with two women for over 12 years. I still make new women friends all the time.
I agree with Paul, if he is being honest to the women he is seeing, he has no further responsibilty. In order to have a good relationship for any lenght of time first you have to attract them(men/women) to you.
But you wont really find out who they are till you know each other. You dont owe anyone marriage or monogamy. Honesty is respect.

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Eduardas July 15, 2008 at 9:35 am

Paul Janka does what many ordinary people are afraid to do: he is not afraid to fail or if thats too harsh of a word for you- he is not emotionally reactive to the negative feedback from his attempts to succeed.
he tells everyone how many girls he has succeeded with, but he never reveals how many girls he has approached and later didnt pick or got turned down by as a result. this is, just like any other venture just a numbers game. the more you do it the more you succeed. the more you improve the bigger your lead to prospect conversion ratio becomes. hes a brilliant master mind and a master promoter! big props!

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michael July 15, 2008 at 1:49 pm

It’s a lot of knowledge, every bit of it is true as it pertains to male psychology. Men like it or not only want to screw. I as a man have made an attempt to be monogamous(spch?) and sometimes even fool myself into thinking “i can spend the rest of my life with this woman” after a while, anywhere from 6 months to 2 years, it wears off, my true persona appears, girl realizes i’m just a guy, I realize she’s just a girl, and it’s OVER, NEXT!

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sandy September 1, 2008 at 9:03 am

I dont know why some of you “social robots” try to dis Paul saying he has no game.

I actually met Paul at the seminar in NYC.
It was unbelievable.His non community mindset and lifestyle system in PU is unique. He has field tested everything himself direct from the source, he is a smart and yet humble guy wants to help and share his knowledge.

I feel very fortunate to learn his secrets at the seminar.
He touched on from his failures to success and even realationship management with the women you want to keep seriously in your life.

There were alot of topics he disscused and shared that Ive NEVER HEARD or READ before.
AWESOME!

The Q&A was surreal unstounding of his honest knowledge without BS .

This guy is the real deal and probably gets laid more than average PUA.

It was a mindfuck to see he is soo good at this without barely any effort.

He is coming out with a DAY GAME product and a DVD of this seminar som you might see me there.lol.

Well Worth it!

Sandy

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carmelskin February 5, 2009 at 6:01 am

… I love anything Paul does his day game always seams to work and has a flow, where as Pick Up teach what work in the US Paul’s methods work in The UK, UK, Europe anywhere ….

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RedDuke February 22, 2009 at 6:21 am

Well I think Im gonna try his method, but my question for him and the people out there: is it really easy to ask the woman to come to your appartment in the first date?!!! As far as I remember David D’angelo has the day2 technique of bringing the woman to your appartment first about 5 minutes so she gets familiar with it if he askes her agin after the date to go home.

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BFG September 15, 2009 at 8:18 pm

This method by Paul seems fine although, I still haven’t found the seduction community Guru or MPUA that can rival the Naturals especially the Italian Casanovas provided that, Casanova was too part french and part Italian. They just seem to say “Hey, [Longer than normal pause] How is it going?” or much less verbally without the need for a special opener which by the way is optimal since, which ever way you take it there isn’t magic on the opening lines. They’d move right into a kiss or a hug even with the Dancers at Clubs with precise accuracy and has a lot more fun in the process. Another, you notice that their conversations with men, unattractive women, official female contacts and the women they are attracted to seems all but the same. The Natural(s) I am referring to here are not having any specific academic knowledge in Psychology or at least on Neuro-Linguistic Programming although they seems to have those qualities anyway with some of their mind boggling logistical capabilities or abilities with women and even beyond that. How do you think that, that a Natural Seducer is different to some ASShoLE such as AFC Adam Lyons in relation that is.

The best way I can put this to you AFCs that can’t seem to think mild logistics beyond what is from PUA material is that its all in “EYE SEEK U!” as opposed to some puck line. Logistics on the other hand is better made by yourself since, only you know what you want. For example, Boat parties with never marring never validating courting Smarts Geniuses are not ever explained by the PUA losers at all.

But anyway, I can’t see to have my self bothered about the losers at all in the first place. If you want to learn then you should do so with a Natural at all cost. So, find one.

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RealityCheck March 3, 2010 at 2:05 pm

This is not intended as a put down, quite the opposite actually. Paul succeeds partly because of his “mindset,” BUT, the average looking guys who are reading and buying all this PUA stuff don’t realize that his looks, height, etc…play a huge role in his success. I would say that its 85% looks, 15% mindset. I would bet a lot of money that an average looking guy (i.e. the target market for the PUA information hawkers) who tries what Paul does would fail miserably. Even if he did have the proper mindset, if he doesn’t have the “goods” to back it up, women will not be interested in doing business. That’s reality. In a situation where short term sex is being considered, looks are what matter most. Now if you’re talking about LTRs and dating, then it’s a different ball game and the importance of looks drops.

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Machiavelli187 November 13, 2010 at 1:11 am

I am interested in the same thing. My wife is in another city because of her work and I am enjoying my time in NYC single with the women. I think men love long distance relationships lol, atleast I do!! Best of both worlds. Men crave variety, we cannot go to the past where we can have multiple wives or harems in addition to our family. But how I am different than people is I admit its wrong, but I don’t care, I would rather get pleasure than worry about doing the right thing or hurting these woman’s feelings. My pleasure is above anyones feelings. Its a business world, if you want to play, you might get hurt, I’m not raping anyone. Why does everyone have to justify themselves no matter what they are doing as the right thing, instead of just doing it and admitting the truth that it is wrong? I guess its cognitive dissonance so we change our beliefs to suit out desires.

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Sara Curtis December 30, 2010 at 11:45 am

I have read your post about girls and can simply say you are a love guru.

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Ivan Dyn May 8, 2011 at 11:15 am

Interesting. I agree with the compatibility part. I also had a girlfriend with exactly the same interests as me, but it didn’t work out. However, it’s important to have similar values though.

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Authentic Online Dating Tips For Men January 16, 2012 at 4:20 am

I don’t know how I feel about video clip. I think the media has a negative view on sex and sexuality, and they’re trying to make Paul Janka look like a bad guy. The media is teaching people that they can either have sex and hurt people, or do nothing (yet be frustrated). I wish there the media had a better way of dealing with things– one of the reasons why I blog dating tips for men.

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