Interview With Neil Strauss
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This man needs little introduction. I completed this interview with Neil just after his Sunday flight to New York City for the release of Rules of the Game. Between taxi-cabs and hotel check-in’s we were able to get it done. Enjoy.
Are you dating anyone? What tips can you give guys about relationships?
Good question. I’ve actually just started dating someone.
To me, there are two factors in a relationship and that’s you and her. you really have to screen a woman before you get into a relationship with her, if she wants you to change things about yourself, right off the top, it shows a lot of insecurity in herself. the issues might go away for a small amount of time, but they’ll rarely go away permanently. in fact, really choosing someone with having a. relationship skills or b. work on them with you. In the Style Diaries first and last chapter really explore the idea relationships and the second part of relationships and us being male, you know, so if you’re going into a relationship and you don’t want the woman to be insecure and you want respect, you need to give the same. You need to always be honest. You shouldn’t be sneaky. Some women are insecure, but some women are made insecure by guys. Say if you’re sitting there and she looks over and you shut your laptop quickly because you’re flirting with a girl on Myspace, and you get pissed when she acts insecure… Well, that’s your fault. I really think having a healthy relationship is hard. The best advice on relationships I’ve heard is from David X, he always said a lot of harsh things about relationships. But he said something profound, he said all good relationships are based on Honest, Trust, Respect. It’s made such a difference in the way I’ve handled relationships. David X saying has become such a code with Mystery and I. HTR.
Most thought you would leave the seduction community all together, but you seem to be sticking around.
It depends how you define the community. I’m not hanging out with seduction community guys and discussing tactics and routines. During the game my life really was the community. Now my life is separate from the seduction community. What I didn’t see happening is continually writing about this stuff. I get 10,000 emails from guys saying how I really want this one girl back. I just realize I have so much left to help out with. It’s such a problem. I wasn’t expecting the game to become such a hit, and so when it hit, I couldn’t turn my back on guys that wanted help.
Why write Rules of the Game?
The whole point is that there’s so much information in the community, but how do you learn it? When you go to a seminar, buy a dvd or ebook, how do you implement that in your life? If you’re a newbie or even good, if you spend 30 days doing the assignments properly, you’ll see a huge change in your life. That’s why I wrote it. It can change men’s lives forever.
What about the game movie?
I suppose there will be one day. Nothing soon, I’ll be married with children by that time. The Dirt with Motley Crue, which was 8 years ago, their still working on the screenplay. That’s why I’m writing books.
What is the most important skill for attracting women that most guys in the community seem to neglect?
That’s described on Day 16 of the Stylelife Challenge. I realized, after writing The Game, that this was the missing link that explains why two guys can go out, say and do the exact same things, and have completely different results. Even if guys don’t want to buy the book, they should at least go to a bookstore and read about it. It’s only three pages.
How did you score the part in Curb Your Enthusiasm?
Well, Larry was a fan of the game when it came out. He was married at that point, but joked about coming out “sarging” with me. I got a call from him wanting me to have a role on Curb. It was awesome. Now that he’s divorced I wonder if he’s using the game now.
What is your important announcement?
Myspace has always been really supportive of my books. And when they heard about Rules of the Game, we discussed a series of videos teaching guys to approach and interact with women. But I thought about it, and decided that instructional videos can be boring. So instead, I decided to film extreme pickup battles.
So I had David Faustino and Corin Nemec come to my house. David knows the game; Corin doesn’t. So we decided to see who would fare better with women. But to be fair to the guy without game, we decided to give David handicaps. The first episode is based on something Hypnotica once said: David goes to Corin, “Even though you’re taller and better-looking, I bet I can pick up more women than you - and, just to prove my point, I’ll do it with a dildo strapped to my head.”
All the approaches are real, and I learned some incredible things. The harder we thought we were making it for David, the easier it actually got. It really proved the point that standing out is better than fitting in, and reinforced so much of what I learned during the game. Each episode, we pushed it further and further, to ridiculous extremes.
Like what?
Let’s just say that you’ll be surprised by how easy it actually is to get phone numbers when you’re bound and gagged.
Thanks Neil!
Popularity: 21% [?]



Comment by jonah on 18 December 2007:
No movie–that’s great news!
This is a worrisome trend:
http://google.com/trends?q=pua
Comment by Mack Tight on 18 December 2007:
That was brief. You asked the safe questions which I expected. He really didn’t enlighten us with anything new, just that he is dating someone and the movie is not happening anytime soon. It’s obvious he is sticking around the community because it is a cash cow for him.
Comment by donovan on 18 December 2007:
Actually, I had about 20 minutes more of the interview, but my recording software crashed (I didn’t realize until after). I’m pissed!
I think the relationship stuff is pretty new, and useful.
Comment by Bobby Rio on 19 December 2007:
The interview was what I expected… I did enjoy hearing Neil’s thoughts on relationships, and maybe would even have liked to hear more of his thoughts.. as I am in one myself.. and find it hard to maintain when you know how easy it is to meet someone new.
I don’t blame you for sticking to the safe questions. You’re not trying to break a story… you’re just trying to get some words to go along with the release of the book…
But I’d still love you to have grilled Neil for selling out and going on “the view”
Comment by donovan on 19 December 2007:
in what way is that selling out by going on the view bobby?
BTW, I had a lot more of talk about relationships, the community, and some celebrity insights but like I said, the recording software crashed (and I didn’t know)
Comment by Bobby Rio on 20 December 2007:
I think “the view” was just unnecessary to promote the book. Its a show geared at women. I understand you need to do publicity for a book release… but going on the view in my opinion just screams “I’ll promote this anywhere to anyone” I understand he’s an author looking to make money, but at the same time he was a member of the community for years… would he have enjoyed seeing Mystery on the view spilling the secrets when he was still out sarging?
Just my opinion…. I’m still a fan of Strauss, unlike a lot of people who are starting to be annoyed by him.
BTW, Have you read the new book? Almost bought it out of curiosity but decided it probably wouldn’t contain much new stuff. I’d love to hear otherwise.
Comment by Big Daddy on 22 December 2007:
1) That scene from Curb was HYSTERICAL.
2) Larry David getting a divorce. Lame. Two little kids. I hope he doesn’t think he’s gonna get any pussy cause he’s famous now. His focus should be on raising his kids. OTOH his ex is a GLOBAL WARMING FREAK. A real nutcase. I hope this discredits her.
3) Style is a genuinely nice person. I doubt he can get any REAL pussy consistently. Maybe some Jewish chicks that connect with him tribally and respect his success. A little better cut than he could get before the game but not anything Big Daddy would waste his time on. BTW, his ex (Courtney love band member) was NOT that hot.
4) I don’t see ANY upside from going on The View except knowing Neil he probably went to the MakeUp counter at Saks and told some chick to touch him up cause he was going to be on The View so he could get her number.
That’s one of his gambits, you know.
Pretty weak, huh?
But he’s not selling out.
These guys ARE ALL IN TO IT to make a buck.
They understand that looks, money and fame attract women A WHOLE HELL OF ALOT QUICKER than the BULLSHIT they teach in their $5,000 courses.
That’s why the Big Daddy Method is not for sale and never will be.
The Big Daddy Method
I know the secret.
And I ain’t tellin’….