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The Fashion Ten Commandments:

1. Thou shalt not be ungroomed. Hair, sideburns, beard, goatee, stache, whatever. Got hair on your body, keep it under control. Don’t get lazy and let the fur grow caveman-style. Cavemen don’t get hotties.

2. Thou shalt not wear clothes that don’t fit. There’s a reason clothes come in many sizes, guys. It’s so you can buy the ones that actually fit you. Women notice an M wearing XL, and they ain’t going home with him.

3. Thou shalt not wear crappy shoes. Shoes tell women everything they need to know about you. Smelly sneakers, sandals with socks, and gore-tex hiking boots do not get into the hottie’s sheets.

4. Thou shalt not pull pants up to your nipples. Your grandpa needs to keep his pants that high. You, my friend, have a waist. Find it and use it.

5. Thou shalt not dress in the dark. Before you leave the house, look in a frickin’ mirror. If you see a dork standing there, make him go change into something presentable.

6. Thou shalt not wear clothes that were cool when “Livin’ La Vida Loca” was a hit. Just because your “Thriller” jacket got you looks in ‘85, that’s no reason to rock it now.

7. Thou shalt not bathe in cologne. We know you love your Old Spice, but less is more, cowboy.

8. Thou shalt not wear glasses that make you look like a chemistry teacher. Even if you are a chemistry teacher, you can get frames that actually look good on you. They do make them, you know. Just ask.

9. Thou shalt not follow trends blindly. See everyone in the bar wearing striped shirts? Do something different. Get the gear that goes with you. You have to stand out, not blend in.

10. Thou shalt not wear fleece. You are a man, not a sheep. So stop wearing big billowing soft stuff that makes you look like you should be chased by a border collie. If it’s cold, get a real coat.

That’s it. Anything sound familiar?

If you’ve been breaking any of these Commandments, it’s time to repent and change your sinful ways. But how? Well, you could hook up with your own fashion guru. Unfortunately, this one is already taken.

But there’s a better way.

PickUp 101 will find your style for you. Dressed for Success is a 3 DVD set with transcripts of real-life makeovers that show you how a regular dude can go from zero to hero just by adding a little style to his life.

And by not breaking any more Commandments.

Now go ahead and make some girls smile!

Lance Mason

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