The Secret Psychology of How We Fall In Love by Dr Paul Dobransky
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I sat down with Doctor Paul to talk about his upcoming book, “The Secret Psychology of How We Fall In Love”.
What’s this new book I’m hearing about? How does it compare to say “Deep Inner Game” and other products you’ve released?
Its called “The Secret Psychology of How We Fall In Love”. On the surface its a book for women, but secretly it’s all of the science I’ve learned, all of the techniques of the community, and all I’ve seen happen there but with a scientific mind. I got the idea to assist women to get a better dating life and relationships, but also to assist men. You’ve heard of the word feminist, I’m neither a feminist, or a masculinist but a humanist, I believe in getting people together and teaching them to make that happen is the best way.
What’s “The Secret Psychology of How We Fall In Love” all about?
Alot of guys have said, “When The Game comes out, women will be on to us, they’ll know our system and work us out!” It’s ridiculous, women want me, a quality man, and men want quality women. There doesn’t need to be any war between the sexes. It’s my latest and greatest technology and its worlds beyond MindOs (Dr Paul’s ebook release), and it teaches us what amounts to courtship. Something that we’ve lost. It’s not a detailed description on how to court, not just physical moves, but psychologically what exact steps are there.
Some people might call it Mystery Method for women, but what it amounts to is e = mc2 for psychology, everyone’s heard of it for physics, this is the very same thing in the psychology world, it’s very ground breaking. Think of it this way, it’s the periodic table of the elements for psychology.
What every dating guru has is a molecule, but i have the elements now. I can explain what works, and what doesn’t, thats because i have the elements and not just the molecules. There is a underlying pattern of what works with gurus and what does not. The community and the idea of helping men meet women is a very new idea, and you have little phases in the last century, but very small.
My field is very old, and i think all the best has synthesized and blended, both in the book and live seminars, and other materials are a true combination of all that came before me, and synthesis of bringing together various models of teaching men how to meet women to create one model out of all of them, to express them all. This does the same thing with any method of game. I want men to devise their own “method”. You don’t need to follow any particular guru to get success, and you can make your own and be wildly successful if you know the fundamentals behind the models, and why they work for some people.
“I want men to devise their own “method”.
Essentially some of the cases examples in the book are going to describe women who are trying to make there way towards a solid relationship while failing and it illustrates what problems women have, and what traits to stay away from, by having a man’s perspective on it. Alot of guys are going to read it, and say “oh! chapter 6 is my ex girlfirend”, or “chapter 9 is my ex-wife”. So it makes it very very clear why certain dating experiences cause failure, this book explains why, and it isn’t vague.
If you devise your own method or game, why would you need anyone to find out about “your game”, I don’t want guys to have to worry about it. Devise your own and it works perfectly for you.
“The Secret Psychology of How We Fall In Love” helps the guy work on his character and his sexual skills. One thing I found helped when I worked with David Deangelo is sexual attraction, so I’ve added sexual attraction to the model. What it will essentially do is help any guy with his situation with women. No matter if he’s single, married or in a relationship. This will help you relate to them better. Have better and richer relationships with them, sexual or beyond. Another really cool part is that its useful for is reading people. Like how much would you like to tell your future with any given individual women. Guy’s meet a really beautiful women, then she turns into a stalker. “The Secret Psychology of How We Fall In Love” will help you know with a few simple tests what kind of girl she’ll turn out to be, even if she’s a cheater. You can tell if she will turn into a cheater or if she’ll be focused for you within a few moments of meeting her.
It goes into way more detail about the personality archetypes and how to use them. How to approach people, just by knowing their archetype and how to relate better to them by having that knowledge. Visit KWML.com to find out what archetype you are.
You can learn to handle any time of formerly vague scenario. Why did I only get a day 1 with this woman? Why did she not call me back? etc etc… More specific than “I missed comfort”, she said this and you said that, but you missed out on and responded like this. “The Secret Psychology of How We Fall In Love” will re-frame your mind and belief system.
Put it this way…
Would you love to have a fighter jet in your backyard with a landing strip? Hell yes, I would love to as well. But what if you didn’t know how to fly it? That’s the way it is with us, we’ve got this powerful machine that if we could control it and learn how it worked, it would be the funniest thing to have! “The Secret Psychology of How We Fall In Love” is the next generation of dating advice, and you can tailor it for you.
Thanks Doctor Paul, we’ll hear more from you soon - no doubt!
Pre-order “The Secret Psychology of How We Fall In Love” (May 28th release date). Only $12.
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Comment by george on 20 May 2007:
Is this the Chicago Dr. Paul?
Comment by ManofBliss on 20 May 2007:
Dr. Paul is very good at linking and metaphors. I don’t know how effective his products and theories are. I do know that he bags on NLP, which in reality founded the seduction scene, and is more powerful than anything Dr. Paul could ever put together by himself. It’s taken decades and handfuls of true geniuses to have developed NLP into what it is, and beyond.
Furthermore, Dr. Paul is a PhD psychoanalyst, which means he has a solid understanding of therapy and personality. This equates to, he can diagnose, but it would take him years to create actual change.
NlP and hypnosis can change people in minutes, or at most, a few sessions. i.e. Richard Bandler, Hypnotica, Steve P., Ross Jeffries
Currently a successful SS practitioner,
Joy, Love, and Happiness,
ManofBliss
p.s. For all the childish behavior Ross has pulled over the years, his materials are brilliant. Although he didn’t found NLP, he definitely was creative, and pioneering in his application into seduction and sexual state amplification.
Comment by Dr Paul on 22 May 2007:
Hi guys, and hi “ManofBliss.”
Are you SURE it’s Man of Bliss, or rather Man of Bile?
Anyway, you must not know me. I’m not a PhD; I’m an M.D., and I do change people instantly with some of the many tools in the professional psychoanalysts tool belt and experience, of which hypnosis techniques (of which NLP is one of MANY, and one utterly unchanged in over thirty years)is merely a tiny aspect.
I don’t “bag” on NLP. I’m in a unique position of having studied it, but also having studied the entire armamentarium of all other fields relating to the mind, including medical science and medication (which I avoid prescribing unless they are absolutely needed.) As a result, I teach the public of all the available sciences and styles of therapy out there - ones which MUST take months or years to see true permanent change in a guy, and ones which do result in immediate and sometimes even permanent change. As such, I am also in a position to authoritatively comment BOTH on NLP AND mainstream psychology, as well as any other turnkey substitute for cognitive science, thank you.
Of those hundreds of tools a psychoanalyst uses, the superior technique to anything NLP will ever offer is called EMDR. It is relatively cheap, but must be obtained from a licensed mental health professional, accredited from an academic institution. Not a weekend seminar in Vegas. Once again, this is only one of hundreds of methods and tools a psychoanalyst uses, but has the same kind of rapid response you are looking for.
If you have ever been to an NLP conference or personal growth seminar, a la Tony Robbins, then you know as well as anybody that you feel pumped afterward, but about two weeks later…utterly the same as you were before. “Motivation” and “passion” borrowed from the motivational speaker is not true personal growth. Neither is merely psyching one’s self into a trance from time to time. It’s about patient life’s experience and the growth of mature character, of which I am a theorist by trade as well.
Sometimes it DOES take weeks, months etc for a person to truly change and grow, and perhaps that was what life is laid out for us to do with: learn and grow patiently (but solidly).
I’m about helping men do just that.
And with no flashy gimmicks. Just solid science that I am quite trained to teach as much as I am to comment on all the self-helpie stuff (some of which works, by the way, because it is once again, related back to real science.)
The real thing never lets us down.
Thanks for your time, and if we meet someday, perhaps we’ll have a more accurate view of each other.
Comment by Seduction Chronicles on 23 May 2007:
Touche!
Pingback by How We Fall In Love Released! on 31 May 2007:
[...] Paul Dobransky’s (of the David Deangelo’s Deep Inner Game, and author of MindOs) “How We Fall in Love” was released. Read my Seduction Master’s Inteview with Doctor Paul, or find out why [...]
Pingback by Doctor Paul (Seduction Masters Interview) on 31 May 2007:
[...] Doctor Paul’s newly released book “How We Fall In Love“all about courtship and dating dynamics, targeted towards women, but essential reading for [...]
Comment by Dr. Grimes on 31 May 2007:
Having personally experienced NLP, Dr. Pauls content and many other self help methods… i would have to agree with Dr. Paul. NLP is a method of changing or manipulating character versus a method of developing it. It is not possible to erase the mind forever in an instant and create a whole new character trait. Nor will it ever last because it is impossible to erase the mind and memory in an ethical helpful way. However, the only way to cause lasting change is through the process of developing the character one has into a better and better version of the one before….it’s not a new character but it is a better more evolved version of the past character. Dr. Pauls material educates people so they can make better use of their life’s experiences (develop wisdom through the marriage of education and life experience) and direct them in the direction of higher character, better choices and greater integrity among other things. NLP more often than not attempts to try to change or interrupt a pattern and break it….wonderful in the moment but not very durable and character developing. NLP may be a wonderful tool for making change but to even compare it to true character development is rediculous to me. If NLP is so great at making better people then why were Ross Jefferies and others so “childish”.
Comment by Dee on 9 June 2007:
Hello, Doctor, thank you for the article. I have a question I hope that you can answer.
I am 42 years old, although I look (and act, unfortunately) much younger. I haven’t really had an easy life socially, professionally, or financially but most of my problems I created for myself. Funny thing is, I finally found a doc who would allow me to quit antidepressants (Lexapro) for the first time in 20 years and to tell you the truth I actually feel better without them now. I am less passive and no longer willing to accept a second-rate life in the above areas.
However, there is one area where I am still facing some uncertainty, and that is in my relationship with my live-in girlfriend of 7+ years. She is a physically beautiful Japanese woman with 2 wonderful children from a previous marriage (unlike some guys might, I consider my friendship with these 2 crazy kids to be an asset in the relationship). Anyway, our relationship has always been a little rocky, somewhat due to my former bad habits and behavior, but also because of her anger issues and tendency to take me for granted, which I guess is understandable since I probably didn’t deserve her at some points in the past.
Lately our relationship has been teetering on the edge of collapse. On one of our saner, more peaceful days, I asked her if there was more I could do to make her happy with me. I pointed out that I am working a lot harder to bring home more money, I have lost 15 pounds of fat in the last 3 months (and I didn’t really have that much to begin with but you know how the Japanese are about that) I have not been high or drunk in a year, I do more than my share of household chores, and I spend most evenings helping the kids with their English language homework (which, as I indicated, it is my pleaseure to do). After this little monologue, she just gave me an almost pitying look and said, basically, “That’s not it”.
I am romantic, I take her out on weekends, I buy her gifts etc. In fact when we do have sex I make sure that she is satisfied always (I know some of these pick up people will say I’m a sucker for this but please after 7 years can’t these things be allowed)?
So anyway, what I need to find out is, what is “it” and how can I get “it”? Sorry for the long question, but if you can help me save my relationship or direct me to the right resources I would be extremely grateful.
Thank you for your time.
Dee
Comment by Fresh Eyes on 13 June 2007:
Dee->
Move out in the middle of the night.
I was in a similar relationship. She was an African “princess” that was way above my league. She treated me mostly badly, and I tried and tried to do more and more to fix things… thinking maybe if I just put more effort into the relationship things would get better.
Things would swing ok and then bad.
I got tired of feeling like crap, packed my stuff, setup a new place to live and moved out in the middle of the night.
That was two years ago.
I still see her now. I see other women as well. All on my terms. And they all know that I will flat walk away if I am not treated with respect.
(in fact I have made that option a few times… and it feels great to be free of the burden of negative rather than putting more and more energy into feeding it)
Good luck
Comment by Seduction Chronicles on 20 June 2007:
I think everyone can assume “fuckgurus” is completely fucked up in the head.
Comment by Lufcifer Morningstar on 23 June 2007:
Devise ur own system. Absolutely.
And FuckGurus? I don’t think you are Fucked in the head…
I just suspect you lack one.
Comment by Wacky Chicken on 7 July 2007:
Hey Dee,
You seem tobe using logic not emotionanal stimulation to convince your lady to like you. As David Deangelo always says “attraction is not a choice”. Maybe you should check out some of his work.
Also, in my opinion, you shouldn’t be saying you didn’t deserve her. Nor should you be putting her at the centre of your world and pursuing much in your life, work and health wise, in order to please her instead of yourself. I would recommend you also read “The Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida too.
Hope that helps, bro.
Comment by mahesh on 16 December 2007:
dr paul!
Pingback by Top Ten Most Popular Posts of 2007 on 14 January 2008:
[...] 8.The Secret Psychology of How We Fall In Love [...]
Comment by Ice on 28 February 2008:
The psychology of love? Be a man do what men do. Grow balls go get what you want..atleast try it..give it your best..Scanned your mindos its so full of shit.
Fastseduction is about being a man who goes after he likes.
Comment by Brother Dan on 11 September 2008:
Dr. Paul !!! I happened across your name in an email I got and wondered if it was the same Dr. Paul I used to run with. Holy shizz! Get in touch with me to catch up! — from Brother Dan