How to Easily Handle ‘Tests’ From a Woman
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This is one of the most important messages I’ve written to you in a long time.
Read it and you will learn two tools that will help you in any time a woman tests you.
I know this is a bold statement, and I also know if you put these two tools into practice for the rest of your life you will thank me.
In fact, I taught these during my Invitation only workshop the Art of Seduction last year. The most advanced program I offer.
Have I got your attention yet?
Good. Let’s begin…
#1 The Golden Rule
If you only learn one thing from me, my instructors, or PickUp 101… this is the one to BURN into your memory banks.
It will help you in attraction
It will help you pass a woman’s ‘tests’
It will help you in relationships
And it’s really simple.
No matter what happens…
EVERYTHING She Does Is CUTE
Never argue. Never explain. Never get upset.
It’s like the way you are with a puppy. Even when it chews your favorite shoe, it’s cute.
This is especially useful when things aren’t going well, or you are getting tested hard. (Remember women are ALWAYS testing you, even if you’ve been with her for years)
This is also one of the secrets to doing Banter on the fly.
Some examples for you:
Her: You’re an asshole
You: OMG You’re so cute, you’re like the mean girls in high school I was afraid to talk to.
Her: You’re a player.
You: You’re so cute, you’re like pop-psychoanalyzing me! Are you a psychic?
(Note: you can keep the “You’re so cute part” in your head. It doesn’t actually have to be verbalized.)
Her: You’ve got no game.
You: You’re gonna be my new game coach! Like how’s my body language?
Her: (Throws wadded napkin at you)
You: It’s just like junior high! This is so fun!
Do you get it?
Are light bulbs going off in your head yet? They should be.
Lots of times your first reaction is that something she does is NOT cute, but take this new frame and treat her actions like they’re
cute.
This is how you can be solid as a rock no matter what kind of emotional storm a woman creates as a test.
#2 The Improve Deflection - Never Disagree
When you’re doing improve with someone, they give you what’s called an “offer.”
Example:
“Is that a head in your freezer?”
Now there’s 3 categories of responses to this question.
1. Wrong: No. “No, it’s a chicken.”
2. Bad: Yes, But. “Yes, but it’s just a fish head.”
3. Best: Yes, And. “Yes, and there’s 2 more in the cupboard.”
If this were with a woman here’s what the answers represent
1. No. Its… This is being logical. It’s what guys do and it puts women to sleep.
2. Yes, but… This is being argumentative. Anytime you say ‘but’ it negates her statement.
3. Yes, and… This opens it up for you to be playful and to deflect any tests.
Remember. Never disagree. Never argue.
Examples:
Her: That’s a bad haircut
You: I know, and I told my barber you can give me a worse haircut than that, you’re not even trying!
Her: Are you an asshole?
You: Yeah, and I’ve been working on becoming a whole entire ass!
Her: Are you just trying to get laid?
You: Yeah, and I think if I saved up and bought those New Rock boots I’ve had my eye on I’m sure I could make it happen.
Her: Is that shirt from K-Mart?
You: Yeah, and it was like 80% off!
This shows a girl you’re un-shakeable. That generates attraction.
It’s a way of showing that you are a cool guy, you’re happy and having fun and no one can shake that.
Are you getting this? Is it sinking in?
We do exercises to practice these two tools in our workshops. I recommend you do the same.
And don’t just practice when you see a hottie you want to meet.
The secret to practice is to do it everyday, all the time, with everyone.
Now go meet some women.
Cheers,
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Comment by butch3r on 29 March 2007:
Hey Lance,
I like the article, esp. the cute part. My natural buddy has been using that mentality for a long time. But what I don’t understand or am not sure about is something that another guru talks about. I know each of you have different philosophies or are of different seduction schools, but David DeAngelo talks about never answering a girls question with a yes. So, when you say yes she’s right. It seems to me that you’d be supplicating.
I get the idea though. You’re saying that you should play along with her answers. Make them larger than what they seem. Like…
Her: Are you a player?
PUA: Yeah, I just made out with every girl down the street
Am I right with this line of thinking or am I wrong. This is a different line of thinking for the DyD way I think.
Comment by Chris on 30 March 2007:
Hey Butch8r - Here’s my take on this. David D. and Lance are basically saying the same thing in different ways. When a girl throws out something like “Are you a player?”, there’s 3 ways you can respond.
1.) Agree, and attempt to justify your behavior (which is submissive and makes you look weak).
2.) Deny the accusation/assessment (which puts you on the defensive, and is also submissive).
3.) Spin it around (cocky funny), and throw it back at her.
You can agree with what she says, as long as it’s done in a confident/sarcastic/playful/cocky-funny/I-don’t-care-what-you-think sort of way. When you justify your behavior, or deny your behavior, it shows neediness — it shows that you care too much about what she thinks.
I like your response: “Yeah, I just made out with every girl down the street.” That’s funny.
Comment by Redd on 31 March 2007:
Listen to Chris, Butch8r, he’s absolutely right.
The great thing about these responses is how fun they are. It really helps you relax and enjoy yourself, which enables you to feel increasingly self-confident.
My usual response to “You’re a player” is to smirk and casually say “Thank you.” I also welcome “You’re an asshole” with a dismissive “I love you too” and continue the conversation without even stopping.
David DeAngelo has a great textbook example for the situation in which you’re mere moments away from sex and the woman suddenly says, “Are you just trying to get laid?” His solution was to “use the truth in a particularly brutal way” by saying, “Of course not. I thought since we were kissing passionately and grabbing each other’s bodies that this was probably going to lead to pure friendship.”
Comment by sarah on 18 April 2007:
haha randomly came across this cite, while it is good to not argue be aware that some behavoirs are unacceptable and when she calls you an asshole its not cute she means it and you should probably stop, i love the part about improving deflection, those are some of the funniest responses to those questions iv ever heard not arguing while being sarcastic and smartass is highly attractive i wish i knew more guys like this
Comment by whatever dude on 26 July 2007:
But Lance, you are an asshole.