A beautiful thing about David Deangelo‘s Cocky Comedy program is the fact that it gives you the formula for generating your own cocky and funny lines, and you can see it used properly by the guys that get results. Before I ask you for your FAVORITE COCKY AND FUNNY LINES, here is my disclaimer:
I’d like to break down a common notion that’s tossed throughout the community often. That is that you say cocky and funny lines and you get a certain response – attraction. Some men that are new to the concept of cocky and funny tend to use it ALL the time, never allowing the conversation to mature, gain rapport and are always staying on the superficial level of cocky and funny. DON’T LET THIS BE YOU.
A pure cocky and funny attitude is UNHEALTHY, and should not be used. David Deangelo has never supported this type of behavior. Guys that are insecure who have finally found this ‘holy grail’ tend to keep using it because they like the reactions the women are sending back. You need to sprinkle this formula in with your normal vibing, and rapport, just like you would a spice for a meal. Too much spice ruins the meal, too little and you can’t taste a thing.
I’ve noticed for myself as I’ve used the concept of cocky and funny, that I OVERDID it to begin with. I totally went hell-bent on cocky and funny lines, like, “Oh you love me” or the typical David Deangelo line “I’m glad you like it”. Yawn.
Let’s be proactive in using cocky and funny the RIGHT way.
My friend Stephen Nash broke it down when I had one-on-one coaching with him while visiting New York City. He basically told me,
“The brilliance of cocky and funny is that it’s flirting – pure and simple. Teasing is flirting. Cocky and funny is simply flirting. You flirt to gain attraction and interest, and to tell her that you know what’s going on, that you have social value, and you play this game. Once that’s accomplished, don’t get bogged down and only flirt, you need to build a connection, and show her your value in other areas of your life.”
So onto my favorite cocky and funny lines.
Remember they have to be “Cocky and FUNNY“. Some guys just don’t get the humor of it…
Example #1: (Just last Friday night)
Waitress comes over…
Waitress: “There you go” *hands me my to-go box*
Me: *I look at the box with a curious face* “Where’s the… ahh… number?”
Waitress: “Oh you give that to me”
Me: *Putting my hand on my head, and looking down almost looking embarrassed* “You know you come to a place like this expecting… *sigh* a certain level of professionalism and you get this…” (With a smile at the end)
Waitress: *snatches the box and comes back with her number written*
Example 2:
Her: Do you have a pen?
Me: Yeah, and I’ll let you use it to write your number down for me.
Example 3:
You: Tonight is your lucky night
Her: Oh really? Why is that?
You: Because you finally got to go out with me
Her: Sure!
You: But no touching… I… do all the touching!
Example 4:
Me: It’s tough to be such a sex symbol.
Example 5:
Me: “Listen, I’m sorry for being out of touch, I’ve been very, very busy. But I’m available now… (suddenly changing tone of voice, like a salesman) …but only for a limited time only, at a low, low price of $14.99 an hour!”
What are your favorite lines? Got any examples of cocky and funny (flirting)?
If you’d like to learn proper techniques for crafting your own cocky and funny lines and how it will help your game with women, take quick peek at some of the video clips over at David Deangelo’s Cocky Comedy site.
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If your ever in a party situation and you spark up a conversation with a girl, roll with this one.
You: Soooo… who exactly invited you here? (Be sure to raise an eyebrow, squint and grin, being friendly but showing doubt in her ability to attend somethin like this and your obvious acceptance into the party)
Her: I’m friends with the guy who owns the house (Probably in a matter of fact tone and a smirk)
You: Well pardon me, some of us earn our places, not all of us are so orally persuasive (This is C&F and a neg that can even lead to a shit test later)
Shit test
Her: I bet you would looove to see how I got in here
You: Sorry hun, left my wallet in the car
If you carry yourself with an air of arrogance and confidence, she will seek your approval. Cat and string theory yall.
Good one Ernesto.
Passed by two girls at a party and overheard their conversation.
One of them was telling the other about a cool guy she had met, but now can’t remember his name, so I turned back and leaned in as I was passing by and said “GoSH!!! Its NOT that hard *looking disappointed at the girl* My name is Dan! And this the last time I will repeat it”
Uhh ok this one is pushing boundaries but she loved it!
(After she’s pulled a hair out my head and put it on her shoulder)
Her: See now if I get murdered tonight you’ll be the prime suspect cos your DNA is on me with this hair.
Me: I think it will be the fact that you’ll be full of my semen that will be my main downfall.
I have a VERY CRUCIAL question regarding C&F comments…
Im new to this concept of c&f. Now i’ve begun practising it with some girls who are friends of mine. The thing is : besides the fact that its tough to find some good matter to say (doesnt come naturally), it sounds sort of jerk-ish even if ive managed to make something up. No matter HOW i alter the way i say it, be it with a serious stern face or with a smirk or…. anything really, it seems to them that im just trying to act cool or saying stuff to make them laugh… The same happens when im chatting with them online… Im not saying that it makes a bad impression on them… just that overall it only looks like im using some “friendly” humour, as though im cracking a P.J. or something… if you know what i mean.
Ive already given a lot of thought on how to make c&f work the way it should, like altering my body language and stuff… but it also seems your past impressions on the gals also play a major role.
If anyone has any suggestions on how to make it really work plz plz plz plz leave a comment on this thread… or you could email me on dudeag@yahoo.in…
Im sure many of u guyz must have gone thru this phase at some point in the beginning
Okay so I used this on a girl this week and wrote about it in more detail on my blog. There was a girl sitting next to me reading and I said, “Stop that, it’s really distracting.”
She said, “What? What’s distracting?”
I replied with, “Your reading, I saw you reading, and you looked so enthralled that I had to know what that book is about.”
She smiled and told me all about the book. I like it because it led right into a natural conversation.
Her: (Singing or humming a song)
You: (acting interested) who sings that originally?
Her: Responds with band/artist name
You: Ah yeah… let’s keep it that way shall we? (with cheeky face)
Hey guys this is Great stuff…. I need a little help with this situation: Lets see how many great minds are here!!!!!
Ive met this girl 2 times. First time didnt talk to her much cuz i thought she was a dyke (long story) 2nd time was at a bar we talked a little bit but the music was so loud i couldnt here my self think. I heard from her friend that she likes me…. now i dont have her number or anything, but guess what i tracked her down on facebook (thats whats up haha) yeah i know its lame but w/e what do i have to lose, ive been looking for a good C&F first message to send her, She is super shy so more funny and less cocky whould be perfect!
Any help is appreciated, thanks guys!
do you all ways go arround seducing guys with this (wait for two seconds)then say i mean your cat walk,am not seduced at all, girl you need to walk on your waist movement, before i can consider you in my world
You want to taste something good my mom did ?
You: Do anything interesting this weekend
Her: Yeah I blah blah blah (Cut her off)
You: I said interesting.
Here is a great way to open with any beautiful woman.
You: Hey I need a female opinion on something
Her: Stops in her tracks and is curious
You: I have a friend who is talking to this girl who is taller than him. He is only like 5″2 and she is about 5″11. She tells him that she doesn’t know if she can continue to date him because he is shorter than her. They have went out a couple of times already. Is there anything my friend can say to get past this?
Her: She will laugh and tell you her opinion.
You later: Would you date a guy that is shorter than you?
This has been tested over 10 times and has always got a laugh plus you can transition after you have opened.
Ha so what do i with this one girl.
Me: What’s Up?
Her: About to go play pool at Casey’s house. You?
Me: Ha well now i just feel bad for him.
Her: Whys that exactly?
Me: Ha cause your gonna be there.
Her: Well fuck you then.
Me: Well thats kind of aggressive.
Her: Well your kind of a dick.
haha where exactly am i supposed to go from there?
alright to finish that convo above.
Me: Ha i think thats one of my more redeeming qualities actually.
Her. Ok.
Did i do something wrong or is she just uninterested? I also havea bit of a history with her.
Many of the C&F examples on here are brilliant. However, some people are missing the whole concept. The idea behind Cocky Comedy is increasing YOUR value.
“Z” explained it perfectly. You should all read his comment. The date of submission for his comment is 7 April 2009. So scroll up NOW.
AN example that I came up with and used during class hours:
Her: Can I please have a paper?
Me: Look, if you wanna tell me how much you love me, just SAY it. You don’t have to write it down. We’re both adults, and you can be honest with me. (Said Lightheartedly with *Sincere* eyes.)
She REALLy enjoyed that one.
Btw, I got the “We’re both adults, and you can be honest with me” from one of David D’s Cocky Funny examples. It’s a great addition!!
she will be dancing close to me in a bar or club and i will tap her on the shoulder, tell her shes in my dancing space and push her away
90% of these comments just let me know that no matter how far we are trying to get away from cheezy pickup lines and acting like a douchebag, most guys just don’t seem to get it. I feel like I’m on a high-school forum for either “who can come up with the sappiest line”, or “who can make the girl see how much of a tool I really am?”
Guys, your “negs” are completely out of sync with what we have learned from Mystery, Style, DeAngelo, etc. For some strange reason, a forum devoted to PUA material has been reduced to an SNL skit about “how to be an arrogant jackass that thinks he’s a stand-up-comedian”. Have you learned NOTHING by studying The Game!?
Seriously, 90-99% of you have obviously never read ‘The Game’, watched ‘The Pickup Artist’, listened to any of David DeAngelo’s material, or basically took the time to find out what REALLY works when approaching a set. You are all dooming yourselves to the lives of a greasy scumbag who knows nothing of the teaching from the masters.
Do yourselves a favor. Next time, instead of trying to be Andrew Dice Clay in your next encounter with a female, politely excuse yourself from the set and go to the bookstore. If you are still stubborn and think that laying on the “I’m so insecure that I have to call you a whore and portray myself as a sexual god” will get you somewhere, please buy a really good book from 1976 on pickup lines. I’m sure “What’s your sign?” will be in there if you haven’t thought of that one yet.
If you really care, if you REALLY want to know the tactics and maneuvers that are necessary to move your “game” up a notch, then seek out material by the people I’ve already mentioned. You will immediately find that what is going on in this thread has NOTHING to do with having “game”. Your “game” that is on display here is the entire reason that Mystery and his fellow pick-up-artists have devised a distinct method to AVOID having to lower yourselves to cheezy one-liners.
I fully realize that a lot of you are just starting out, and you want to throw in your (what you think) is prime material. I don’t fault you for that. Just PLEASE, for all of our sakes, at LEAST read “The Game” by Neil Strauss. I will consider anything you decide to indulge yourself in after that just gravy.
I’m not writing this post to belittle you guys that seem to think that flat-out insulting a woman, or forcing a sexual innuendo on them is the right way to sarge. I’m trying to let you in on material that will change your life. If you are too lazy to figure it out, I have no pity on you when you fail constantly with the Asshole/Douchebag lines. Most of what I have seen here are distinctly NOT “Cocky/Funny”. They are the same shitty “pickup” lines that true PUA’s have been honing their craft to get away from.
Anyone that is still listening….STOP reading this post for material. The stuff that these guys are putting forth will only hurt your game. Search harder, read the proven material, download some seminars by DeAngelo, Mystery, etc., and then come back to this thread. Only then will you see how foolish this whole thing is. “Cocky/Funny”? No, almost all of these comments are Arrogant/Douchey. Tool/Cheezy. They go against everything that we are supposed to be learning, and the entire reason we are part of this forum in the first place. Start over. It’s not hard. All of the material is there if you REALLY want to find it. Good luck guys. You’re gonna need it if you’re still telling women that they fell out of heaven or saying that they are flat-out ugly. Negs are a happy medium. You will learn if you bother to find out. Good God.
Wow! son…maybe after you have knocked her over you can kick her around the dance floor while you are at it.
I’ve used this one before, she laughed but unfortunately I didn’t get anywhere.
her: I have a boyfriend
me: ahhhh the jealous boyfriend
her: yes
me: well tell him I’ll take him out another time!
Works for any girl you see often or only a second time.
Me: Are you stalking me?
Her: No! (Or yes)
Me: Good, this would be a terrible time in my career to end up as a lampshade in your apartment. (If she says yes, I thought so. You do give off the “I hack people up in their sleep” vibe.) Just be creative with it, guys (or gals) with the stalker line…either way you win.
LOVE YOU ALL David De Angelo AND CO…… KEEP DOING THE GOOD WORK
Mankata
I’m a woman who stumbled upon this site, and I have to say, I find this whole thing fascinating. It never occurred to me that men actually practice this sort of thing.
But I have a couple of tips for you. I’ve been having a very flirtatious back and forth with a guy who does the “cocky funny” thing very well (and hey, thanks! After seeing this site, I guess I know he likes me;)). And one of the reasons he does it well is that it’s somewhat self deprecating, and is NOT INSULTING.
AND FOR GOD’S SAKE, DO NOT INSULT A WOMAN PHYSICALLY EXCEPT IN THE VAGUEST OR MOST JOKING OF WAYS–if that. Not only will this backfire with a lot of woman from the word go, and you will never get to base one with her, but if a woman STILL wants to sleep with you after that…
It will NOT be as good as it could be. Because in the middle of it, she’ll think “He thinks I’m fat/hairy/ugly/unattractive/etc.” She’ll want to hide her body, she’ll be self concious, and she will be in her head–which doesn’t make for good sex. I realize part of the idea is to “take her down a notch” so to speak, but people also act the way you treat them–if you want a sex goddess in the bedroom, treat her like one.
And all of these cock/funny lines…they will only work if you balance them with high praise as well. There has to be a reason for her to come back, some encouragement.
I’m sure few of you will get the reference, but think Jimmy Stewart in Philadelphia Story. He pulls off tons of “neg-hits”–but ultimately what makes Katherine Hepburn swoon is his empassioned speech about how radiant she is…in fact, that whole movie is about taking a woman off of her pedastal–but making her more “divine” in the process.
But perhaps that stuff is more for your advanced classes.:)
-Out on a date with a cute girl.-
Her: You are the most sarcastic guy ive ever been with.
Me: really?…(Pause)….”You look hot.”
Her: Oh Shut Up! (punches me in my arm)
Me: you punch like a girl.
then she looked at me and smiles…in a naughty way.
signs if a girl wants you to be her boyfriend.
her: i dont like liking you.
me: why?
her: i don’t know what you want.
me: hhmmmm…pause for 5 secs……well, i like cars, food…etc.
her: punches me in my arm again and looks at me.
me: i want you to give me a kiss. ( look straight in her eyes and keep composure)
she then grabs my head and makes out with me.
check this gangster one.
Her: where u been i missed you/ lets go somewhere
me: sorry you are not the only girl in my life that needs attention
Most of these lines are terrible. Clearly a lot of you guys don’t fully grasp the C&F concept.
A good majority of the lines posted here are just not funny. At all. When your line isn’t funny, it will make you look like a goof ball.
Something to keep in mind is to just have fun! I can tell just by what some of you are writing that you are trying too hard. It doesn’t have to be hard. Just have fun. Have that be the only goal…to have fun.
You have fun with your buddies and feed them C&F lines. And I bet they all go off without a hitch. Why? Because you are comfortable around them. So just do the same with women. Be comfortable and just have fun.
I’m naturally C&F, long before DD put a name to it. So it’s actually hard for me to sit here and try to remember exactly what I say as I usually just come up with stuff on the fly.
But one of the most successfully lines I ever used went like this. Me and a buddy were checking out this older woman at a bar. She looked to be about 40-ish but she was just stunning! She kept looking back at us. My buddy was in his 40′s and I, at the time, was in my young 20′s. So I assumed she was checking him out.
I was wrong.
A few hours later she walked by me and literally grabbed me by my shirt and drug me to her table where she was sitting with a [female] friend. She said how she saw me checking her out earlier. I laughed and said “No I wasn’t. There was a hot girl behind you that I was looking at and you kept getting in my way.” That got me a big punch on the arm. She knew I was full of it and just teasing her.
Again, it’s all about just having fun. I do a bunch of playful things with women and it’s fun for me and fun for her. What more could you ask for?
Some fun examples…
When coming up to a door, I jump ahead and grab it to open the door for her. As she gets to it I quickly close it and smile. She smiles/laughs. I open it back up for her.
When handing something to waitresses/cashiers/etc. I pull back at the last second. So say I go to hand a waitress my credit card, right before she grabs it I pull it away. Then again. One more time. Then I accuse her of messing around. All done with a playful tone and smirk on my face.
When ordering food at a restaurant, I’ll keep a straight face and order a PB&J sandwich and tell her to cut it up into little triangles and I’ll order a glass of milk and tell her I want one of those twisty straws in it or tell her I want a sippy cup.
Sounds silly, but it always gets a laugh and she will always comment back. Good way to get a conversation started.
Walking next to a girl, I’ll give her a little hip check.
Walking next to a girl and coming up on something on the side, say a trashcan on a city street, I’ll gradually start walking toward her and eventually it becomes obvious I’m trying to make her walk into the trash can. When she realizes what I’m doing I smile/laugh/smirk.
I number girls. For example, I know a girl that lives in Virginia. I’ll text her asking “How is my 4th favorite VA girl?” Of course she (all women would) texts back something like “hey, how come I’m not #1!!” or some variation of that.
If I’m sitting at a table and a girl happens to accidentally kick my foot, I’ll accuse her of playing footsies with me.
Just keep everything light and fun. That is my goal when I’m interacting with a woman. Not to get her number. Not to sleep with her. Just to have fun. The other stuff will come as a side effect of having fun.
Just have fun and leave her better than you found her.
hey guys watch spread(film) and analyse ashton Kutcher’s characters, t shows that all u have to do is act calm n let the chick be nervous n when she trys to blow u o smtin then u become Mr cocky. a few lines i got from the film.
chick: k ur cute n erytin bt u aint cmin home wit me
Me: Is that all u gat, cmon u gats to try better than that….k try this one am married.
chick: no
me: am deeply in love wit someone
her: no
killa
me: then gimme a good reason y i shldn go home wit u.
her: i do know u
thats wen u put ur lips on hers, wat u call dat playa.
love this post blog thing, get to see where everyones ideas well heres mine a cocky and funny close
her:well have a good day
me:sigh don’t tell me what to do
ME: Is your Dad in prison by any Chance?
Her: No Why?
ME: Because if i was your dad i’m sure I’D be in prison!!
I don’t even do cocky & funny, I’m just my bad boy self. Just look at my name: Dennis… The Menace, ain’t it obvious that I was BORN for teasing? Anyways, here are some of my “lines”:
1) Me(when calling her and when she picks up):”Hi I’m looking for miss …(insert her name here)”
Her: “that’s me silly!”
Me: “oh… I thought you were an ugly fat chick because you sure sound like one on the phone!”
2) Me (when she’s shorter than me):”I want to ask you a really personal question if I may…”
Her: “well, okay…”
Me (looking at her with a smirk): “how tall are you? Like… 4 feet?”
3) Me (when she’s taller than me): see above! Works even better on tall women!
4) Me (when she’s taller than me): “you know, I feel sorry for you…”
Her: “why?”
Me: “because you must have had steroids for breakfast since birth with YOUR length! I mean, even NBA players don’t have SH*T on YOU!”
5) Me (whenever she’s holding a glass): “oeh… what you’re drinking?”
Her: “bla bla (doesn’t matter)”
Me: “You’re such a liar, because your face looks like there’s at least 200% alcohol in your glass! Are you DRUNK lady!?”
I´d much rather discuss the techniques behind them though. My personal technique: tell them everything they DON´T want to here, which is usually the opposite of what they look like!
- Tall = short
- Skinny = fat
- Academic chick = dumb blonde
- Sporty chick = lazy couch potato who´s definition of sport is Wii baseball
- Goth chick = undercover hiphop junkie
- Hip hop girl = conservative redneck DNA
- Skater girl = republican, anti-drugs, anti-hippie, etc.
Need I say more?
P.S. I don’t even call those lines above here my lines because I create new ones for each situation, I always like to freestyle things. Much more natural, much more fun.
To more dating success,
Dennis Miedema
to the guy above( dennis) that shit will get u nowhere, matter of fact will degrade ur attractiveness, that aint corky u just being abusive n e galz will take u for an asshole.
Great stuff here, others not so…If she shorty i call her Minnie… And I say: Must be difficult to you find clothes that fix you without be in kid section.
Dennis… that´s shit
Spread is a good movie… i like when he goes to the bed with the waitress, nice close
… well not exactly but similar.
Already have use that one
sorry for bad english
Girl spills drink over herself (dress, top, pants… whatever).
Me: Oh my.. just look at you.. (exagerating) soaking wet. Let’s go get you out of those clothes.
“sigh dont tell me what to do”
that would probably work well if you did it in a really monotone voice then waited 2 seconds and laughed (if on the phone) or smirk in person
She drop something…
That´s why i cant give you nice things!
I only say to a girl that i love her later she told me she love me.
I usualy say when she say that:
All you want is my money!
Good Lord. Who are you all trying to pick up? Bubba, who doesn’t so much care what’s coming out of your mouth, so long as he gets to put something in it?
Do yourselves a favor. Go to Barnes and Noble, and spend $20 on “The Rules of the Game” by Neil Strauss. Then you can stop attracting Teresa, the 46 year-old transvestite in the corner of the bar, and start picking up some legitimate 10s.
hey… In my opinion i think that book is good… it have good ideas, but i sure have more fun doing cocky and funny stuff and when u are really good u dont need that rules for nothing… well, u already dont need that rules. Only bring anxiety … Just having fun talking to girls is the best way… Only the programs that david deangelo are really help me, not only atract women but in all my life, just talking to friends are diferent, its become better, changed my way of think to better… and hey… i have a lot of friends, females and males but i was a litle afraid of intimacy, but if you think that u just want to have fun with the chick u will not be afraid of nothing and it will be better for you!!
Just have fun… call them ugly and fat
… they will love. (well not that girls that really are fat and ugly, u sure dont want them)
one theme that many girls love to talk… blondes vs brunettes, joke with the fact that they are stupid because they are blonde, and calling all the time a brunette “blonde” because they have do something stupid its just better
… u will annoying her but in a funny way.
Be creative in that theme
mario
What’s a good C&F response to a situation where a girl would say something like hey, is your name , you look like someone I know from highschool.
@ braves: here’s a response…
You: That depends on one thing and one thing alone…
Her: And what is that?
You: Whether you’re a sex hungry groupie or an angry psycho b*tch
To more dating success,
Dennis Miedema
hey,
the two approaches that for me, so far, delivered are:
1)-especially on vacation-hey I just got here and I have no clues about where to go tonite. You look like someone who knows how to have fun, any suggestions?
then when she starts to list bars/clubs maybe you get lucky and she will tell you where she’s going tonite,to which you’ll add -may we meet earlier for a drink, so later we can go there together?-and get her number.
if not, push it -so which one of those will you go to tonite/tomorrow?-and get her number
this approach works even better if you’re with a friend or she is,since the group dynamics makes it look like you’re really asking for useful directions and not actually aiming to get her.this makes you a more difficult guy to get if compared to the usual beggars.only later in the meeting you will start to slowly focus on her.and,who knows,she might have hotter friends,so why rush?keep the game for the later stages.
2)-hey so today I was talking to my best friend (girl name) about how people we meet randomly in our life usually do not meet our expectations in terms of being interesting. she agreed,saying she only meets boring guys all the time. therefore she made me promise that tonite I shall talk only to someone that appears to have a personality.and this is why I’m here now, to keep this promise. you see, you have this (way of dressing/genuine attitude/other distinctive attribute) that makes me think there’s something behind your looks-
then you start addressing that specific attribute and play it as if you’re really into that and not actually running after her boobs.
I’m from Italy,where girls are constantly approached by guys 24/7, so you have to be a little creative.
however,these proved to work in international contexts too.
hope they can help you too.
Hey, greetings from Split, Croatia ! Of course this C and F routine works ! Thanks for bringing it to the masses !
I am looking for a wingman somekind of, or somebody to discuss this topic more deep, my e-mail is : theyesman@net.hr !
Hope you guys like these, they all worked for me
Her: You’re so cocky!
Me: Yeah I’m a little cocky, but I don’t I think I’m the best person in the world.. (pause, crack a smile) I know it.
That’s always gotten good response.
If you bring a girl home, pour her a glass of champagne, and as you’re handing it to her pause and say “but don’t get any ideas..”
^banged her
Her: Hey, do you wanna hang out on friday?
Me: I’m actually chillin with this girl.. her name is (say the girls name you’re talking to). I’m a little bit out of her league, but I think it might be fun
At a party last friday I used some goofy ones:
Her: I’m always the man in the relationship.
Me: What, you have a dick?
Her: (jokingly) Yeah, it’s 11 inches long.
Me: Damn, you got me beat by an inch.
she cracked up
Me: But really, what’s the perfect dick size, in your opinion?
Her: I’d say about 7 and a half inches.
Me: I was gonna try to hide my excitement but YESSSS!
Me: (dirty remark to 2 girls I’m with)
Girl: We don’t do that, we’re real women!
Me: (point at friend) Don’t call her fat!
ahaha
I’ve known them for a bit, I wouldn’t try that on anybody new lol.
This one’s just funny, a girl came up to me at a party when I was smoking a cigarette and said “Can I hit that?” I handed her the cigarette and she says “No.. can I HIT THAT?”
And you can use the pussy/cat joke a million ways
Her: hold on a sec, I gotta feed my cat
Me: That’s ok, I love your pussy
Start petting her cat and say “nice pussy”, “what a soft pussy you have”, “I could rub your pussy allll day” or “your pussy loves attention, doesn’t it?”
I’m sleepy, maybe I’ll post more later.
-Keepin it real in the 612
I got one
If women say to you that you have a beautiful eyes, then you reply:
She: you have beautiful eyes
You: Well you know what, they can be yours….buuuut
She will think in a way like, you can be her boyfriend and she will be able to look in your eyes all the time.
then you say it in a playfull way, with smile…
: buuut, you have to pay for the surgery
I bet she’ll laugh
“Is it hot in here or is it just me”?
or
“Is it sexy in here or is it just me”?
She: You’re just so confusing…
Me: Well, if I were simple like an ice cream, you women would EAT ME, all the fucking time, and I’m tired of you only thinking of Me as a sex-object. I have feelings too!!
ohkay yea i put afc up there, but wtf does it mean?
I got two lines, tell me what you think of them.
Her: Let’s have a drink.
Me: You do know you can get 12 years in prison for raping?
Her: I think I’m worth it. (prepare for a comeback)
Me: Your so not.
Her: I’ll show you.
Me: As much as you want to, let’s have you swallow another fluid. (girls love dirty references)
(she stares at you)
Me: You can stop undressing me with your eyes, I have my dignity to keep.
Her: Oh-oh, I knew you were a virgin.
Me: A (insult completely opposite of her, for example she’s really skinny and you say fat) virgin, that’s right.
Dear Friends, Happy April Fool’s Day!!!
He remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl, “Do you like spinach?” She says “No,” and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like spinach?”
Happy April Fool’s Day!
what was that for?
Say this after teasing a woman for a while:
You: Mostly i tease the girls that i like
She: ohhh so u like me
You: sry but ur an exception..;)
—-
She: are u always such a bad boy?
You: hell no! i only act bad when a girl wich im not intrested in keeps hitting on me.. mostly im a very romantic nice guy;)
—-
You: are u trying to seduce me naughty girl?
She: maybe
You: im just tellin if you wanna have sex with my hot steamy body.. just pay 50 bucks.. or no sry, for u it’s 60
—-
(while having an online conversation)
She: if i see you on a party i will stump u in the nuts;)
You: lady don’t lie to me plz.. probably u’ll be shy as hell when u see me on a party.. but i promise that if u buy me drink, i’ll talk to u;)
I know that there are way better lines then mine above, but im just a beginner so.. (and i even didn’t read david’s book actually)
(and sry 4 my bad english)
Her: I have a boyfriend.
You: I have a goldfish.
Her: *confused look* or – What?
You: Oh sorry, I thought we were talking about things that didn’t matter.
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