Are These Your Favorite Cocky and Funny Lines?

January 25th, 2007 • Donovan • Related • Filed Under • 321 comments

A beautiful thing about David Deangelo’s Cocky Comedy program is the fact that it gives you the formula for generating your own cocky and funny lines, and you can see it used properly by the guys that get results. Before I ask you for your FAVORITE COCKY AND FUNNY LINES, here is my disclaimer:

I’d like to break down a common notion that’s tossed throughout the community often. That is that you say cocky and funny lines and you get a certain response – attraction. Some men that are new to the concept of cocky and funny tend to use it ALL the time, never allowing the conversation to mature, gain rapport and are always staying on the superficial level of cocky and funny. DON’T LET THIS BE YOU.

A pure cocky and funny attitude is UNHEALTHY, and should not be used. David Deangelo has never supported this type of behavior. Guys that are insecure who have finally found this ‘holy grail’ tend to keep using it because they like the reactions the women are sending back. You need to sprinkle this formula in with your normal vibing, and rapport, just like you would a spice for a meal. Too much spice ruins the meal, too little and you can’t taste a thing.

I’ve noticed for myself as I’ve used the concept of cocky and funny, that I OVERDID it to begin with. I totally went hell-bent on cocky and funny lines, like, “Oh you love me” or the typical David Deangelo line “I’m glad you like it”. Yawn.

Let’s be proactive in using cocky and funny the RIGHT way.

My friend Stephen Nash broke it down when I had one-on-one coaching with him while visiting New York City. He basically told me,

“The brilliance of cocky and funny is that it’s flirting – pure and simple. Teasing is flirting. Cocky and funny is simply flirting. You flirt to gain attraction and interest, and to tell her that you know what’s going on, that you have social value, and you play this game. Once that’s accomplished, don’t get bogged down and only flirt, you need to build a connection, and show her your value in other areas of your life.”

So onto my favorite cocky and funny lines.

Remember they have to be “Cocky and FUNNY“. Some guys just don’t get the humor of it…

Example #1: (Just last Friday night)

Waitress comes over…
Waitress: “There you go” *hands me my to-go box*
Me: *I look at the box with a curious face* “Where’s the… ahh… number?”
Waitress: “Oh you give that to me”
Me: *Putting my hand on my head, and looking down almost looking embarrassed* “You know you come to a place like this expecting… *sigh* a certain level of professionalism and you get this…” (With a smile at the end)
Waitress: *snatches the box and comes back with her number written*

Example 2:

Her: Do you have a pen?
Me: Yeah, and I’ll let you use it to write your number down for me.

Example 3:

You: Tonight is your lucky night
Her: Oh really? Why is that?
You: Because you finally got to go out with me
Her: Sure!
You: But no touching… I… do all the touching!

Example 4:

Me: It’s tough to be such a sex symbol.

Example 5:

Me: “Listen, I’m sorry for being out of touch, I’ve been very, very busy. But I’m available now… (suddenly changing tone of voice, like a salesman) …but only for a limited time only, at a low, low price of $14.99 an hour!”

What are your favorite lines? Got any examples of cocky and funny (flirting)?

If you’d like to learn proper techniques for crafting your own cocky and funny lines and how it will help your game with women, take quick peek at some of the video clips over at David Deangelo’s Cocky Comedy site.

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There Are 321 Responses So Far. »

Comment by LEWIS WOOD on 26 January 2007:

eg 1 ,

Her : lets get a drink .
Me : Oh please tell me your not planning on geting me drunk so you can try and seduce me .

eg 2 ,

Me : Waddup fool!
Her : Huh , fool eh …..( punch in arm )

eg 3 ,

Me : Were you just checking out my ass ……

eg 4,

Me : ( i did this while talking to a girl on the bus ) – So do you oftern try to seduce guys on the bus .
Comment by Marco Polo on 26 January 2007:

You know, I am bored with girls always trying to seduce me. I would like to try something different. Let`s pretend that I am interested in you. Just try to hide your desire for me and let me work my magic on you.

……after few more lines that emphasise my self confidence and humor….. (add semi/erotic kino in this)…..

Wow, this is great. You are really good. I should reward your efforts in not pressuring me and just listening. I am tempted to allow you to kiss me.

….after that wheter she kisses me or not everything is so easy…. She is in my ocean and I am the shark and it is only mather of time when will I bite her
Comment by Marco Polo on 26 January 2007:

Hi, I am Marco Polo from Croatia!

This is my first post ever on any seducction related sites, blogs or forums. I am 28, lived my whole life not knowing anything about existing anything like this community. Some guy I met a month ago(friend of a friend) told me about NS “The Game” and after I read it I realised how many of the things that are mentioned I was already using by not knowing that even have names, like Kino, AMOGing and Cock/funny especially. My game (that I didn`t even knew that exist in that way) was full of this things. This guy asked me what is my game, how do I pick up girls, what are my lines and method, I just said:” I don`t know, I just approach and do everything naturally. Than he started with terms like methods, lines, mirroring, PUA`s, Courtney Love….. and I was like WTF is this freak talking about?? Now, everything is much clearer. I am in happy realtionship and I think about this whole thing as a cute hobby, but I can`t deny that some of these things started to become helpfull in building better relationships in other asspects of life.

Picking up was always pretty easy and natural thing, but it is great about reading about it from such “scientific” approach.

Take care!
Comment by Danger Lover on 26 January 2007:

One of my favorite lines is the age thing.

HER: How old are you?
ME: Good question…i stopped counting at 69
HER: Hahaha, For an old geezer you look pretty good.
ME: *sigh* what a lame pick up line, how young are you?

If she’s older then me:
HER: You’re such a charmer, too bad you’re too young for me.
ME: That’s okay “grandma”, i’ll change your daiper, you change mine. I believe in equality in a relationship.
HER: Hahaha, grandma?! (slap on the arm or they just crack up. wich i then proceed to my stern face and continue the next topic)

Thanx for posting this, Donovan. I’ve been wondering why sometimes the c&f doesn’t work, cuz now that i have a flashback of all the times i did..i realize i overdid it. It makes the gals be affraid to say something thinking you will make fun of it. (predictable and we know that predictable=boring)

-R!
Cheers!
Comment by Matt Savage on 26 January 2007:

Here’s my favorite C&F line:

Whenever I go to a bar/club and a hired gun asks to see my ID, I always say, “Well I do look young, I can’t help my boyish good looks:)”
Comment by Donovan on 26 January 2007:

Nice. Anyone else?
Comment by groovyG on 26 January 2007:

somewhere into the conversation with her, i’ll throw in out of nowhere:

- you’re just planning to use me for my body and throw me away later, right? i don’t trust women anymore

if i offer her to come home with me, i immediately add, while waving my finger in a reprimanding manner:

- but don’t you dare to try to have sex with me! i need to feel trust between us first
Comment by Hero on 26 January 2007:

I’m cracking up whilst reading your lines.. I’ll have to keep some of those.. I haven’t come up with any of my own yet but best belive that I will =)
Comment by Freak on 26 January 2007:

-If she asks you to guess her age…
-answer: Do you want me to guess older or younger?
most girls love this!!

and cocky & funny should never be used during the whole time! makes you goofy or weird… mix it like chili. just a lil bit is awesome and to much is…
good luck
Comment by Steve on 27 January 2007:

When u ask her to do somthing simple and she is taking a long time to do it or is not being as compliant as u like

“I know honey….it hard….” (Act Simpathetic)

When u tell her a joke and she doesn’t laugh cause she didn’t get it:
“You’ll get that one TOMMAROW moring… (then keep repeating tommarow in an exaterated voice till she laughes if she didn’t already)”

ME: I’m looking for a new style for my clothing and i was wounder if u have any recommendations.
SHE: Uhhh..well…lets see. There is (blah blah blah)
Me: *Cut her of in the middle of her sentence* So, where do u shop from?
SHE: Oh…i shop at *store*
ME:I’m just playing with you. I’m not looking for a style i’m perfect as is. I just wanted to get u to admite were u shop from.

PS:I’m new at C&F so i was wounder if u guys could give me some feed back. Besides that the obove have been field tested.
Comment by Donovan on 28 January 2007:

Kill the last one, the others were OK. Alot of the funny, comes out in body language, depending on that, they could work.
Comment by Jermaine on 28 January 2007:

I think the best one is when you ask her what does she do, and she says whatever, you reply ‘I hope it pays well so you can support us both. Just so you know, I’m not planing to work or anything, just sit around and watch TV. That is what I always wanted.’ There are variations to this but it’s great.

At Marco Polo, hey man you are the first I know that is into this from that area. I’m from Srbija. I don’t think there are many guys from around here that know about this. I don’t know is this one of those forums that allow only english so that’s why I used it. Write back man. Bye
Comment by Tambo on 28 January 2007:

I have come up with some great c&f lines over the last few months. Here are some of my favorite. I have used all these before.

“Why are you trying to start something, you are so sexually agressive.” (whenever she tries to give me a kiss or hold hands or anything like that, note: I use this with women I have been with sexually already, but use as you wish.)

Her: Do you plan on getting married?
Me: I don’t know, maybe if she’s rich. I’ll marry her, then divorce her and take half her money.

Her: Why do you.. (could be about anything.)
Me: Cuz I’m awesome.

I can’t think of the rest, right now. Most come so naturally now that I don’t even remeber them later on.
Comment by Marco Polo on 29 January 2007:

Jermaine,

My e-mail is fistbbb@yahoo.com feel free to contact me.

Like I said, this is only a hobby, but a very dangerous hobby. Whats your story?
Comment by Tambo on 29 January 2007:

I just watched the movie “The Guardian” last night. During this one scene Ashton Kutcher’s character delivered the following line while he was dancing with this hot girl, “you can stop undressing me with your eyes, I’m not going to sleep with you tonight.” Of course in the next scene they were in bed together.

Nice.
Comment by tony on 30 January 2007:

Ok in a clothes shop just about to go in the changing room and you say to the female assistant

“Ok no peeking”
and she’ll probably laugh!

Me: “do they train you to smile to the customers here?”
Her: “no”
Me: “shame, because on a scale of 1 to 10 that was about a 4!”
Comment by Sting on 30 January 2007:

Hi Donovan,
just wanted to add a quick validation to your take on C & F and how one develops on it.

Brushing past overdoing it and offending the girl (which most of have done) – I went through a weird phase that’s pretty funny. and was very “what do i do now?” clueless when it was going on.

At the time, all i knew about was David D.’s cocky and funny – never heard about or thought about ‘qualifying’ or even ‘comfort building’. David’s standard response to the question of “when can i stop this and get to know the girl normally” used to be “why stop doing whats working?”
i would reach these scenes where the girl would REALLY be opening up to me – telling me stuff about her childhood, her health problems, something about her parents relationship… deep, personal stuff in short.
and i had no clue what to do about it!
I figured out for myself that c & f might not be a good idea(!), but then what? after a few just-staying-quiet goes, i came up with a series of neutral encourager comments – “oh, really?”
“oh, yes?”
“hmmm.”
“wow, thats intense.” etc.
to bridge through to the lay.
there are more elegent ways of building comfort! but for all the more sophisticated stuff, C & F remains one of the best attraction tools out there – especially to start with, as its something thats easily workable.
on a more advanced scale, IMO the main attraction switch is social proof – but you have to work upto the point where you can gain that easily and with grace. c & f is much easier to start with – even in uncalibrated cases, its different enough from the norm that it’ll get a guy a bit of attention at the least.

cheers,
Sting
Comment by style on 31 January 2007:

wow
Comment by spade on 2 February 2007:

Cocky Funny works great. I began to get away from it for awhile when I discovered the larger community. I was trying to focus more on my sarges and developing routines etc, but I’m starting to come back to it. I’ll throw a few of my recent favs out there.

Her: (says something interesting or cool somewhere toward the beginning of the sarge)

Me: Wow, your the coolest person I’ve met in the past five minutes. Your my new best friend. Just do me a favor and don’t tell my mom that we met in a bar.

(I know, I know, I just realized that this isn’t really cocky/funny, but delivered correctly, it will elicite a laugh…never a bad thing.)

Her (If she’s wearing a large brimmed hat like girls will often do during summer months)

Me: Hey, I like your hat. Where did you get it? I’m going to Mexico in a couple of months and I’m looking for a good sombrero. It gets awful hot down there.

Her: Here’s my number, let me just write it down for you.

Me: Thank you. Perhaps we’ll hang out.

Her: Sure, I’d like that.

Me: But only if you have some hot friends to introduce me to.

Hope this helps gentlemen.

Keep Digging,

Spade
guysmiley_1980@yahoo.com
Comment by LEWIS WOOD on 6 February 2007:

If she is dressed slutty – ” so do you always go around dressed like a hooker ”

If she gets pissed off – ” oh poor baby is throwing a tantrum ”

If she has on some cool outfit – ” wow you look great its amazing how good a 10 $ outfit looks ”

She says do i look great – ” Well it will be ok but its going to embarrasing hanging around you “
Comment by spade on 6 February 2007:

Lewis Wood:

Re the first one. It could work definately, but context and tonality are key here. Equating a woman with a hooker is in most cases just not a good idea. Just be careful how you use it. You don’t want to get slapped, or worse yet get a kick to your netheregion. After all, there are future generations to think about.
Comment by Andrew on 6 February 2007:

(After using C+F on her for awhile) She says: “your too mean to me sometimes (laughing) tell me 2 positive things about me just to make up for it.” I said: “Okay.. hmm.. you laugh alot.. That’s kinda a positive thought and you have okay lips, I would prefer better ones, but I guess yours will do fine for now.” She is pretty shocked and she says “My lips happen to be great and big.” and I said “uh huh (sarcastically but serious) If thats what puts you to sleep at night then okay..” She says: “I have big lips” and I said “If you consider thinner then a pencil lips to be big then you have the biggest” and she then whispered: “Someday soon I will show you what these lips can do.”

Hot diggidy damn! I swear that is true, every word… She basicly said she was gonna either makeout with me or go down on me… That’s the only successful one besides the usual c&f stuff… It might not be the best, but it captures the idea and the result was about the same as expected if you get good with it… That is my best story though..
Comment by Andrew on 16 February 2007:

is that a good line? Another scenario is when a HB came up to me to ask me a question and she said “hey hey hey (her question)” I said ” “hey hey hey” has a name you know..” her eyes lit up and she laughed a little and she said in reply “well then.. what is your name?” I said “Andrew” gave eye contact, smirked right in front of her she smiled and I walked away without a word (I know I will see this girl alot more now.. so thats why I didn’t continue, but will next time)

Maybe I read this in a David DeAngelo newsletter, but I thought of a scenario that when your walking with your girl hip check her a little (but make it a little obvious) and blame it on her and then when she says but you did it then maybe either right after or a couple minutes later do it to her again, but don’t do it too aggressively she might get hurt (or you if shes tough enough) and then blame it on her, but make sure that you do it more playfully cause then she might get mad or something could go wrong, but its a more physical cocky funny trick that works if done correctly… I don’t know if I can take the credit for it though, so I won’t
Comment by Eric on 22 February 2007:

Here’s a few.

Her:
Me: WAAAAAHHH! (really funny, makes her laugh and calls you a jerk or something. Great stuff)

Me: I like your shoes. I bet they looked great when they were new.

A good thing to do with waitresses is to play tic tac toe with them. They love this, and will be easier to score off a phone number by the time you’re done.

Her:
Me: I don’t usually let any girl see my ID. They could be psychopathic stalkers or something.

Her: Why does (such and such happen)
Me: Because you touch yourself at night.
THIS WORKS TRUST ME (thank god for family guy)

Her: (If she punches or hits you)
Me: Man, my dead grandma hits harder than you.

Good luck
Comment by Eric on 22 February 2007:

One more thing to add

If a girl wears a lot of make-up, tell her

Me: You know, (girls name), I like you a lot and we’re friends and everything, plus please, the next time me meet, PLEASE where make-up.

Good stuff.
Comment by Toph on 5 March 2007:

Curious to know what mix of nationalities we’ve got here. Cocky and funny, or funny at least, must depend on some notional sense of humour which is a very subjective thing. Basically, what i’m soft-soaping here is that i found very little humour in any of these lines, the exception being Eric’s “Because you touch yourself at night” – brilliant. Now this may be because i am a cynical and sarcastic English guy; it may be that the lines aren’t funny; it may be that laugh at loud hilarious isn’t the important thing here…

How about subverting some very old, very tired chat-up lines -

Me – You know heaven’s missing an angel tonight…
Her – Rolls eyes, is generally unimpressed.
Me – Yeah, I snuck down when God was teaching Ray Charles to Hula Hoop. Damn you gotta be so goooood in that place and i feel baaaaaad.

Untested, but i like the idea. What do you folks reckon ?
Comment by kh on 11 March 2007:

if she dressed slutty
me: Are you the kind of girl my mom always asked me to stay away

she is talking (blah blah blah), after you have some sort of rapport.
me: you know, it should be illegal to be pretty like you
she: why /what?
me: I would have accident, if I see you driving next to me. Can’t take my eyes of you!
Comment by Donovan on 21 March 2007:

Thanks for the lines. Lets get more.
Comment by E.V on 23 March 2007:

just read a couple of lines iam bored so might as well help since iam here right?

Your joking around with her and she gets mad

she : you hurt my feelings

you: You have feelings? when did this happen?

haha what do you people think only line i can think of right now sice i used it yestarday lol
Comment by Tirath on 27 March 2007:

Cocky and funny comes so naturally to me now…That u gimme any sentence and I’ll turn it around n u’ll get a gr8 cocky anf funny line… No rushes plzzz… One at a time… Or else I’ll charge u guys… (look its already started)..
Well I av taken a lot of time and effort to learn it… But I think If anyone here wants to learn it… Drop me a mail at :tirath5u@gmail.com N I’ll see wat can be done..

Here are just a couple of effortless lines Created and percieved by ME and Only Me..

Her: Hey wat you doin?
Me: Y? wat r u plannin to do for me? (N then b4 she answers n e crap cut her off start a new thread as though u know she is capable of nothin..)

Her: You are not my type… ( A serious one now..I know many of u hear this…So here is My remedy for u guys)
Me: I know silly.. I just bought tickets to watch ur “types” at our local ZOO… (Then just keep lookin at her… DOnt get heated up while saying it ,,Or it may sound as though u r insulting her…Kepp kool all the time…
Comment by Penis o Malley on 28 March 2007:

Got sum gud ones

She : I have a boyfriend
You : And whats that got to do with the price of cabbage?
or Do get all personal on me just yet , i only want to kick it with you for a couple of minutes.

She ; (makes a joke)
You ; Your funny
She ; Thanks ( or something like that)
You ; Ya funny lookin
Comment by oleg on 2 April 2007:

I love this one

me: your arms are hairy
her: (laugh)
me: you should shave them just like you shave your legs
you do shave your legs dont you?
Comment by SexyShedden on 15 April 2007:

..aite guys this is the situation when the girl was trying to act like shes all that and ect..so i decided to put her in her place
Her- (does something clumsy)
Me- wow..how do the guys keep off of you…its a wonder..(say with a straight face)
Her- Well that funny because at college (or bar) the guys cant stay off of me (she smirks)
Me- well yea, but thats only cause the guys there at college drink alot.
Her….(priceless look than laughs).

needless to say that look of hers was a “Kodak” moment, tell me what u guys think. peace and gl.
Comment by brick on 16 April 2007:

Nice lines guys! Im not sure where i got this line but i loove it! it has sooo many uses.. recently i used it at a party,

if a girl makes any physical advance on you at all such as: hug, kiss, hold hands (be creative)
you: you know,… i usually charge for that.

this works great if you are leaving and go in for the goodybye hug kiss whatever.

i was at a party and said it pretty early on when she hugged me or something, her first response was.. “will you make an exception for me?” and we made out like 3min. later hooray.

I also like saying stuff like “yah im kinda a big deal” or “wow you actually got to hang out with me, there is usually a waiting list”
fun stuff, later guys!
Comment by some bloke on 16 April 2007:

Here’s one example that left a good impression on a girl I met in a club a while back.

Girl: Hi.
Me: Are you one of these aggressive local girls I keep meeting?
Girl: No!
Me: Are you sure? You look quite aggressive…
Girl: (laughing) Shut up! (punches me in the arm)
Me: (clutching my arm pretending to be in real pain) See I knew you were aggressive!

I also like asking questions where there is no right answer.

Me: Are you single?
Girl: Yes.
Me: I bet you wonder why!

or

Girl: No.
Me: Your boyfriend must be very brave to put up with you!

Keep them coming fellas…
Comment by Latocki on 17 April 2007:

Some of these lines you guys are tossing out are kinda chessy but there’s some good stuff in here. Anyway, on to my little encounter. I notice sometimes girls like to throw out a bit of cock block before sex is even mentioned. The other night i went to go see 300 with a female acquaintance of mine. We were talking up at the concession I don’t quite remember all the details of the conversation, but one piece of gold jumped out at me.

Her: I mean, i’m not sleeping with you.

Me: haha, whatever. (purchases large coke from cashier)

Her:(in a pouty tone) Why aren’t you getting Mr.Pibb?

Me: You’re not sleeping with me (wry smile and a wink)

The look on her face was priceless. I think you guys know. The wide mouthed, speechless face. She ended up earning her Mr.Pibb later that night.
Comment by Sega on 18 April 2007:

I just came up with this one a few months back when I went sarging with Capt. Alex. We were leaving the club and I saw a bunch of girls about to take a pic, so I ran up to the one that had the camera and was like “Wait, wait, wait!” They all loked at me and tought I was gona offer to take the pic for then so the one with the camera could be in it 2. When she started to motion to give me the camera, I said “You guys need some eye candy on this pic!” and walked towards the group, they looked confused for a second then they all smiled and were all tring to get next to me on the pic. Form then on they all were calling me eye candy and flirting with me. Me and my friend did some more C&F and mixed a couple of negs. It worked like a charm and I used it a few times since then, always with good results. Btw, Capt. Alex closed a porn star that was in that group that night.
Comment by sarah on 18 April 2007:

wow this site is funny, men giving men advice on women with pick up lines, have you ever considered asking women about women? I liked the lines where the guy make a statement/acts offended that you usually here woemn make and the lines where he is joking about being to good/sexy/smarts but some of these “lines” are not only cheesy but just make you look retarded any guy who uses an obvious pickup line is considered lame and maybe a whore. I agree with the cocky and funny part being good… in moderation.Respect is important.
Comment by Chris on 22 April 2007:

ok listen you should never say anything that women would find offensive like calling them a bitch or a hoe or any other obscenity. anything else you should consider fair game to tease her about seriuosly.
Comment by DoGz on 23 April 2007:

sarah dear, respect is important – thats why these lines work
mutual respect- the respect bratty girls give out is what they recieve in turn
understand?
Comment by Dominick on 19 May 2007:

Lots of good stuff here. Keep up.

Sometimes a woman will antagonize you, bounce back and start becoming stubborn to test your assertiveness and so forth. A way to counter this is to lean back, look her for a few secs and go like:

`Do you know _why_ I am smarter than you? Cause when God told us to select heads for ourselves YOU went for `THICK’. _I_ went for `AIR-TIGHT’. Don’t confuse these two types. They are different.’

Just my 2c. Cheers folks. Be safe.
Comment by andi on 19 May 2007:

At school: i was walking in the halls and a really hot chick bumps into me walking the opposite, she says sorry but i say: its ok you can touch me all you want

Or if she asks to sit next to you say : do you bite?
Or if she sits first and then asks say: its ok i dont bite
Comment by andi on 19 May 2007:

Im hot.
Comment by Kyle on 24 May 2007:

Her: I have a boyfriend

Me: That’s alright, I’m not the Jealous type
Comment by Kyle on 24 May 2007:

Me: Has anyone ever told you that you look like Jessica Alba (could be anyone)

Her: No

Me: oh, that’s only cause you don’t (with smile)
Comment by Kyle on 24 May 2007:

Me: Have you ever driven in a Ferrari before?

Her: *as she’s walking to the car* No

Her: I thought you said you drove a Ferrari

Me: No, I asked you if you’ve ever driven in one before
Comment by Lowry on 27 May 2007:

When she asks to sit down next to you:
“It’s ok, I only bite on request”.
Comment by Struttus on 31 May 2007:

Ermm. nono. what u gotta say when she its down is..

me:”what’up..”
her: hey.
goes to sit down..”chair squeeks”
me ” oh!! what? sighs*”
her” what?
Me: “nothing, you can sit there just dont talk to me ok? in a sarcastic tone

and If she replys.. its on.. take it from there.. Try to use as much body language in ur chair like high satus and so on!.. Its so much better if you do
Comment by El Star on 1 June 2007:

After a waitress screws up in some insignificant way …

Me: [Open menu and look for something] Say, how much would it cost to order a new waitress?

(careful, if you don’t deliver this the right way, you might end up with spit, or worse, in your food)

—

Her: Come with me (or some other request)
Me: Listen, you’re going to have to fill out and submit a formal request just like everyone else that wants to hang out with me. There’s no special treatment for semi-cute girls.

—

Her: [tells a joke] (or at least tries)
Me: [yelling] Everyone … everyone stop …. (her name) just told a joke!

(kind of like a “stop the presses” tone)

—

From The Departed, when you’re hanging out

Her: Next time we go out (yadda yadda)
Me: [totally serious face] Who says I want to go out with you again? [awkward pause] … I’m just kidding …. but you should have seen the look on your face.

That’s a neg AND C&F

—

This one is always effective and can be varied in a lot of ways:

Me: How about I ask you to [hang out, go out for dinner, etc.], then you pretend like you’re thinking about it for a while, just long enough to make me think you’re actually not going to come. Meanwhile, I’ll make all the arrangements, then you accept my invitation like you’ve been wanting to do since I asked … sound like fun?

It’s “control her universe,” a bit of role playing, and C&F. You basically can tell her that you’re going to play games together, but you’re scripting the whole thing.

Another variation:

Alicia: What are you doing tonight.
Me: I’m going to (place) and doing (activity) with Alicia.
Comment by J.R. "Bob" Dobbs on 1 June 2007:

This is the lamest bunch of crap that I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure I would be utterly bored by any woman dumb enough to be interested in any of that high school jive.

Oh well… back to being alone and hating life.
Comment by phillip on 2 June 2007:

she: what are you studying after school?
him: i wanted to be a plastic surgeon,to see boobs..but it didnt happen
Comment by JB on 3 June 2007:

darn this is a new world..im going to have a new life from now!keep it up guys..you are going to change my life.
Comment by Sio on 5 June 2007:

when there is a general “awkward” silence:

Me: Has anyone ever told you you talk too much?
Her: Yes
Me: Yeah, well they shouldnt have…

Also very cool is using the “hand gestures” that ross and monica used instead of “f@@@@ you” …. i think joey also had one for the episode that chandler slept with joeys girlfriend…. all from friends. This is especially funny to girls who have watched or watch friends !!!!

General comeback line: Go shave yourself
Comment by Jesse on 6 June 2007:

If she gives you any canned insult: you’re gay, stupid, lame, etc
me: good one, in what grade did you learn that one
her: shutup!
me: that one was first grade right?
her: starts anything else
me: -interrupt- (start using any first grader talk) fart-face, smelly-butt, etc. but in a very serious way
Comment by Royas on 7 June 2007:

you’re back into “ordinary” conversation…

Her : “bla bla bla”
Me : “nod, make out I’m interested”
Her : “more bla bla”
Me : “suddently let my head drop and pretend to snore”

As you look back up she’ll have that slightly pissed off smile or give a chick punch.

This small joke can be re-used 2/3 times, typical comical repetition
Comment by steph on 9 June 2007:

I like this one very mutch

me)hey you look friendly what your name
her)her name
me)i whait till she ask my name im looking directly in her eyes
her)what yours
me)my friend call me steph but you can call me stephane
her)why cant i call you steph
me)You will if you do well in the next few minutes
Comment by Andrew on 11 June 2007:

*She sits down next to you
me – So you think you can sit next to me huh?
Comment by Darrell on 22 June 2007:

Me: Can I buy you a drink…or do you just want the money?
Comment by Arsh on 23 June 2007:

Something I really like doing, reply “Yeah Right” to ANYTHING they say. I find it priceless. They will act all annoyed and stuff, but trust me they dig on it. Thats why they keep coming back for more.
Comment by Arsh on 23 June 2007:

Or if she asks you a favor, ask her what you will get in exchange. A classic David D!
Comment by din on 26 June 2007:

I want cocky n funny sms msgs
Comment by pao on 27 June 2007:

my simple cocky funny lines

me: hi
her: elow
me: how r u
her: fine
me: nice meeting u
her: u too
me: bye….(w/ a smile)

hehe…hope u like it.
Comment by Andeee on 27 June 2007:

THe post above was stupid….

Anyways, I was recently sitting with a girl at school when she started singing a song, she then said, “this song can get annoying sometimes” I said yeah when you sing it” She had that wide mouthed face and gave me a little punch in the arm, works really well. She basicly set herself up for that one
Comment by Ricky on 28 June 2007:

you know guys i always knew i have the c&f stuff in me, but i was to shy.Lucky me i`m not anymore:) and i feel like don juan demarco now hahaha.
here is my c&f stuff, i know you are all despaired to hear me, have patience.haha
her: hi
me: hi, so tell me how long do you planing to stay in my town this summer?
her: 2 mounts.
me: WHAT???!!!!Aha i know what your plan is, you will stay here for me, but you`ll need 2 years!
her: why 2?
me: Because i`m not that easy
her:(normaly, laught)
—
me: i see your hair is changed you are red now, and you are beautiful too!
her: Thanks, realy, am i beautiful?!
me: Yes, but don`t compare with me, i don`t want you to suffer!
(i hope you understand because my english i not that good);)
GREETINGS TO ALL!
Comment by Andeee on 28 June 2007:

Him: Hey are you single
Her: No i have a boyfriend
Him: So are you bored of him yet?
Her: Haha, no.
Him: So how long have you been with him?
Her: # of years or whatever…
Him: Wow hes a brave guy..
Her: why is that?
Him: becuase he has to put up with you all the time
Her: laugh
Comment by manuel on 29 June 2007:

Me: I wasn’t expecting to meet someone beutiful tonight

She: Thanks

Me: mmm but, maybe I will
————————————————————–
Me: You look nice

She: Thanks

Me: If I weren’t here, I would say you are the sexiest person in this room.
Comment by D on 6 July 2007:

“Nice shoes, goodwill must be finally getting some nice stuff in.”

Me: so u have a BF?
Her: yea
Me: Great! Now I finally have someone who can make me breakfast!
Comment by jason on 9 July 2007:

I’m on a date with a girl and she notices my outfit and says to me, “You’re looking sporty tonight.” And I reply: “You’re looking…um…You’re looking…Sorry, I can’t think of anything to compliment you on. You should work on that.” She laughs and then procedes to rip my clothes off and screw me silly in public
Comment by elektrip on 12 July 2007:

1) Some days ago I was sitting in the train and a girl passed by, making eye contact and smiled, she was about to leave at the next station. I was a second too late to react (longer than 3sec.) so I stood up, went to her, looked straight in her eyes and said:
“What, we don’t even know each other yet and you’re already running away from me?”. (maybe poor english translation, sorry)

2) Another day in the train, again some girl smiles, makes eye contact while leaving the train, and since I got rid of my inner wuss I said: “This is not the right station, I’ll leave two stations later…”

3) Again in public transport, a girl walked past the seat next to me and I almost yelled out (making sure all in the bus could hear me): “You’ll have the privilege to sit next to me…I’ll bite, but mostly it doesn’t hurt that much”.

Since a few months I say things I never thought I’d have the balls for. Being cocky/funny with friends naturally, but “nice guy” with the ladies. I always loved to take a risk but I’d playing it safe with the girls. Not anymore, now with approaching women too. Now I don’t fear nothing in life!

Another thing, on a good day, I can come up with the most funny s*hit that perfectly suits the situation, spontaneously and instant. Since I really think I’m original I don’t even try to use canned lines..it has to come out of me naturally and I think any canned line just doesn’t fit my personality or better put, don’t suffice my standards. I’m good with language (german, that is) and word plays, so on a bad day, I just don’t approach women rather than forcing it and then messing it up because I wouldn’t have enough follow-up substance to take it further…

I’m 31 years now and I never ever dated any women (being a superwuss of all wussys to new girls…but I always thought I’m a cool guy just not discovered yet;), the few occasions I had where pure luck or I didn’t care and was just cool! Not anymore so. Luck doesn’t apply, I’m more alpha-male now etc…so I went from zero to hero, having now 3 girls in line to date, all met in 1 month now (and I stopped by now to have them handled/scheduled first).

I feel I can have every women I want now. All 3 girls think I’m a super hero and they’re verrrry interested. I’n fact, the first girl ever in my life I asked for a phone number (recently!) asked me, while I’m typing my no. into her phone:

“Are you sure you can handle all your numbers?”
I was hard pressed not to laugh out loud so I remained cool outside, felt like a fckn king and said:
“No it’s really annoying, I hope the Apple iPhone will have enough storage to put in all the contacts…”.

I’m smiling everyday now (it’s unreal!) and don’t miss a beat when I feel to play outside. However to make a long story short, my detailed “success story” goes to David D. soon and I hope he includes it in the newsletter. Stay tuned guys!

Another opener I recently did in a bar, that took my last fear of approaching women and further grew my balls: I looked for the obviously most beautiful woman in that bar, one that knows it.

Me: Hello
She: Hi
Me: You know, you’re not that attractive and I guess you are not approached very often so I thought I’ll give you the chance to talk with me. Maybe you’re leastwise rich!”.
She: HAHAHAA!
(OK I read somewhere some similar “line” and so I’ll share the credit to whoever said that similar thing

Another one I want to try (not field-tested yet).

Me: Wow I like your shoes and your handbag
She: Thank you (probably bored)
Me: Unfortunately they don’t match. I think you need a style consultant when you go out shopping next time.
She: Really? Haha.
Me: Call me, if you need someone with aesthetic-stylistic confidence (not empty words, I do have style and know aesthetics/design stuff).

(sorry for bad english..I think it’s difficult to speak eloquent in english b/c so many words or nuances just don’t exist in that language…)
Comment by Royas on 13 July 2007:

Speaking with the chick, enventually you pop out the question :

Me: So, what’s your kind of guy ?
Her : “bla bla bla, whatever dork”
If you don’t push the answer nine times out of ten she’ll then ask you what kind of women you’re into, to wich you reply :

Me: Well to be honest I’m a real f**** machine, I never stop sleeping with chicks. I have an amazing sucess rate with women ranging from 65 to 80 and, when I’m feeling like getting the younger stuff I go for shave headed tatoo sporting fat chicks.
But hey don’t feel threatened, maybe if I shaved a few patches of hair on you we could date, or become friends, I’m not decided yet

I speak rather loudly in the beginning of the answer so I seem cocky talking about screwing a lot of chicks. Then as she pictures the women I describe she’ll have a great smile on her face.

P.S. Congrats to elektrip for his better life change
Comment by Sam on 16 July 2007:

you dont need to do all that and think of something as silly as these lines to say to get a partner,my advice is be yourself to get some one that is compatible with u, u dont have to date a girl and TRY to remember OH what ur age granny lines to impress ,, the momement you try to impress she will sence it or he will, and think u are to dumb u need to prove urself to impress her/him, so this is the mistake,just be yourself, relax dnt need to think much and use ur brains extra to impress..any other probs you need advices mail me to TahanSamir At hotmail and if u are a person looking for a nite only dont mail, just go to a whore house TC
Comment by Shervin on 19 July 2007:

Manuel, those where awesome
Pingback by More Examples of "Cocky & Funny" Humor on 21 July 2007:

[...] out some of the cocky and funny lines guys like you have [...]
Comment by Samuel on 31 July 2007:

This happend to me at a party like two weeks ago:

Im sitting and talking to some people when this hot chick comes up to me and says “Hey, i know you. I photographed you for some magazine bla bla bla (wich i dont remember)”.
I say something like “Sorry, i dont remember. People do that all the time.”, she laughs, and we start a conversation.
Just a minute later my friend calls me up on my cellphone, and instead of answering myself, i reach the phone to her (i didnt feel like talking to him anyway at that time..) and tells her to answer. They talk for a short while (about the party, who she is etc..) and then reaches back the phone to me; wherupon i say to my friend with a playful voice: “Are you trying to steel my girl?”
It whas really funny, and she laughed a lot.
(we didnt end up doing anything since i whas there with another girl, but what do you think about it?)
Comment by Mik on 1 August 2007:

Here’s some good ones I use all the time and they work.

Her:Do you wanna chill tonight?
Me: Maybe, as long as you don’t take advantage of me:P
Her:I can’t make any promises.:P

Her: What are you doing tonight?
Me: If your trying to sleep with me you don’t need a lame excuse:P
Her: haha well in that case:P

Always seem to work
Comment by Igor on 2 August 2007:

What a bunch of losers.
Comment by Mikiah on 6 August 2007:

Sometimes to start a conversation or during the middle of a conversation, I’ll bust out an obvious pick up line that’s really funny. I say it in a tone like i know it’s a pick up line so it doesn’t come across as being cheesy.

Me: so when we wake up at my place in the morning, how do you want your eggs… scrambled or fertilized?

I get smiles 100% of the time.
Comment by jay d on 17 August 2007:

you say this to a girl you’ve gone out with for just a about two dates.so on the third date u r like;

“Hey, i noticed u like me a lot , in fact u love me.Well, thats a criminal offence.the judge has sentenced u to life time with me .how do u plead ??”.

i know it will work for u guyz. becos its worked 4 moi.

Try it out.
Comment by Annie on 19 August 2007:

It’s good to be confident and flirtatious. But quite a few of these lines came off as either slightly insulting, or it makes you come across as a bit of a gigolo. Just know that there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of self-effacing humor! We girls like confidence, certainly, but we like guys who are down-to-earth at the same time. It’s hard to find a good balance. If you spout off these arrogant, holier-than-thou lines right off the bat, she’s going to think that you consider yourself too good for her. Now guys, would you be interesting in dating a woman who acts like she’s out of your league? Probably not. No one wants to hang around someone who lowers their self-esteem, even if only by a small amount. Even if you are just trying to get laid.

To be honest, if some of these lines were used on me, I’d be a little offended and put on the defense. Believe me, being put on the defense is never a good feeling for anyone, male or female.

I would say make her laugh a little as we appreciate a sense of humor, and don’t come across as desperate. But don’t go too far in the other direction and look completely disinterested either, or she’ll write you off in her mind. Some of you say things that allude to her being less-than-attractive…stop. She’s gonna think you’re an asshole. I would. Girls actually like when guys say we’re pretty…as I said, as long as you’re not sounding desperate, you’ll be fine.

The lines the author wrote are fine, but some of the commenters’…I can’t tell whether you’re joking or serious. I really HOPE some of these are just sarcasm. Just remember, nice guys DON’T finish last. Scared, nervous, desperate, conceited, downright rude guys finish last. But you CAN be funny and confident while still being a nice guy.

And sorry if I’ve come across as snotty in any way, I really am just trying to help. Some of you did manage to come across as cute and charming without sounding mean or full of yourselves, so kudos. =)
Comment by Seduction Chronicles on 22 August 2007:

Some of these lines are a little too “COCKY” not enough “FUNNY”. In my opinion, I’d stay on the funner side of things. I’d say 80% funny 20% cocky.

Check out Cocky Comedy for a better explanation than I can offer.
Comment by Tom on 25 August 2007:

I don’t know how anyone who understands cocky and funny can say that it doesn’t work. Here are a couple things I use. Enjoy

1. Girl sits down next to you
Me: You’re lucky you didn’t sit on a tack
Her: What??(puzzled)
Me: Ya, I had to start putting tacks on the seats next to me so all the girls leave me alone

2. Give the woman a completely ridiculus answer to a normal, boring question. Make it c+f and show that you don’t give a damn about what they think of you…
Her: How was your summer?
Me: Overall pretty good except I gained 182 pounds, went to jail, and had to hire a hitman to stop all the women who were stalking me (remember that lines don’t do any good if they aren’t aligned with your belief system and body language)

3. Got this from Master DeAngelo
Her: gives you some sort of compliment
Me: I’m not that easy, you’re going to need a better line than that

4. Han Solo is the man, especially in The Empire Strikes Back, kind of stole this thing from him when the princess wanted him to stay with the rebels.
Her: Want to study for the biology final with me? (asks you to do something with her or help her with something, can be used with lots of things, but must be slightly altered)
Me: You want me to go help you study for the final?
Her: Yes
Me: I think there’s another reason you want me to study with you(sly smile)
Her: Gets a guilty look and laughs
Comment by Dev on 26 August 2007:

just to begin conversation with a girl…
me-hi
her-hi
me-(getting busy with something and giving no response.not even looking at her)
her-(after sometime)uhh….my name is xyz
me-(reacting surprised and as if she disturbed you)who asked you that?

i am new to cocky n funny routine…plzzz give me feedbacks.
Comment by Seduction Chronicles on 26 August 2007:

Might be slightly rude with the “who asked you that”, but I LOVE the first part. Sometimes i think you’ll find that the girl won’t volunteer their name in the first part of the conversation.

Perhaps this…

me-hi
her-hi
me-(getting busy, then glance up…) your name?
her-blah blah. whats yours?
me-which one?

idk, just commenting on this after the gym on Sunday… =)
Comment by Zurla on 27 August 2007:

Her- “Do you find me attractive?”

Me- “maybe if you didn’t have that whole ugly thing goin on”
Comment by Dio on 27 August 2007:

I’m from sweden and these are all things I said in swedish that comes to mind.

Met this girl who’s a friend of my cousin and we hanged and she asked me what i do.
Me: I write.
Her: Really? What do you write?
Me: You mean, except erotic novellas?

At some other point, she told me she used to do some modeling as a child, but not anymore.
Me: Yeah, we can’t all age with dignity.

Another time I was standing with two friends chatting as a girl they knew came up to her and said something. She looked me.
Her: Why are your eyes red?
Me: Well, it’s the pure evil in you that made them that way.
Comment by Concrete JOhn on 30 August 2007:

She (out of the blue): can i ask you a question?
Me (sigh): YES, i’m single, but that doesn’t mean i’m just gonna throw myself at the first girl that comes by. What’s wrong with modern women.
Comment by Drew on 6 September 2007:

We rock.
Comment by davoxxx on 7 September 2007:

it went like this:

her: sorry but i have a fella
me: really? how did manage that? … nevermind i’m sure we can just dump him somewhere..
her: i’m, not that kinda girl
me : and here you are trying your best on me
her : i just wanted to know if you liked me
me; and you were doing so well until then … i’m gonna go over there now …

needless to say i got her, but the point i want to make is that she didn’t actually have a fella. she just threw that there to throw me off.
Comment by Drew on 7 September 2007:

The other day I was in the C&F zone with this girl and she said something bitchy, and I said “Blow me (not very classy I know but it fit in context ” and she said “Do you want me to?” like all serious. At first I just kind of froze up – I was so amazed at the magic of CF right before my eyes. Next time that happens, what do you guys think I should rebound with?
Comment by Dev on 10 September 2007:

in bars and clubs…(seeing a drop-dead gorgeous lady)
guy-hi.
grl-{no response…reacts as if she didn’t heard}
guy-r u lesbian ?
grl-what?(in a shocking way)
guy-ya ..cause i feel u r not that comfortable with guys.

plzz..give me responce..
Comment by Drew on 10 September 2007:

Did u use that Dev? Props if u can pull that one off.
Comment by Drew on 16 September 2007:

I personally think being cocky & funny is the secret to seduction. It attracts women because it quickly and directly says that you are NOT another boring nice guy. It communicates: That you’re confident,That you’re comfortable, That you’re intelligent, That you’re funny and interesting

Here are a few examples from the Pick Up In 3 Days ebook. Great for canned material.

HER: I have a boyfriend
YOU: Just one? That’s nothing to feel insecure
about. Here’s what we’re going to do. You
stick with me and I’m going to find you
some more boyfriends. Take a look around,
you see anybody cute in this place?

—————————–

HER: I have a boyfriend
YOU: Good for you… I know it is a HUGE deal
to you, but it’s actually pretty common,
so you might not want to keep telling
everyone new person you meet.

——————————-

You’re either the coolest girl I’ve met in a long
time, or you’re a total weirdo, I can’t tell.
Probably a little bit of both.

——————————-

Are you drunk or are you always like this?

——————————

We should hang out some time. You can help
me pick up chicks

——————————

Look I would love to agree with you. But I hate
being wrong
Comment by hiutopor on 17 September 2007:

Hello

Very interesting information! Thanks!

G’night
Comment by Brit on 18 September 2007:

Yo can I just say this is a really good thread. With practise anyone can adopt the cocky funny mindset.
Ok I can’t leave without adding a few, these are ones I have on tap:
Her: How are you?
You: I’ve been told I’m pretty damn good! *Wink*

Her: Have a good day
You: Don’t tell me what to do, you don’t even know me and you’re already
ordering me around!

Oh, if she ever needs to apologise I just say, you owe me and point to my cheek. When she comes in to kiss me, I say, “Woah woah, I meant to say you owe me an apology!” This has never gotten a bad reaction.

One more thing, I started off with very bad calibration and ended up throwing cocky funny lines which ended up insulting girls but now I can sense the type of reaction I will get in the convo. Its not the lines, its about timing and how you deliver it, trust me on this. That’s my 2 cents.
Comment by Lady La on 23 September 2007:

Sad freaks!
Not only that but you can’t even spell!
It’s about time, boys, that you realised ladies are wise to your games. We may toy with you and let you buy us drinks, maybe even try you out in bed, but at the end of the night, or after ‘the deed’ you’re going out with the trash.
It’s the real men we keep around . . .
Comment by thatplaya on 2 October 2007:

lofl ladyla… I don’t buy tricks (esp. tricks like you) drinks, they buy em for me….

and here one good one is:

her: sits next to you..
You: “You don’t bite.. do you” (in a scared kinda voice)
her: “NO!”
You: “Well your no use to me then, go away” (with overly serious look)
Comment by Seduction Chronicles on 14 October 2007:

oh nice guys. Keep em coming!!
Comment by Chef on 18 October 2007:

just met a girl. she’s gorgeous. but she has a masculine personality. when i told a joke yesterday she smacked me on my shoulder. then as i left the car, she smacked my ass.

any special way to deal with a chick like this?
Comment by Andrew on 7 November 2007:

you – hey.

her – sorry, i have a boyfriend.

you – that’s ok, well all know “boyfriend” is just a status anyways.
Comment by Dru on 9 November 2007:

ok..tryin to figure out a good C&F for this one..

her: anyone who says they dont like games are the biggest players of all!!

any answers guys??
Comment by shane on 9 November 2007:

i just started what u think of this one

me: man… everyones looking at you… because your with me

another one

her:hows my hair

me:maybe you should ask john Howard for some tips

could someone give me some tips on what they think thanks
Comment by Gene on 10 November 2007:

Here’s one I used at the end of some minor C&F texting w/ an acquaintance:

Me: (after some silly back and forth about why I’m so great) …so I know ur impressed – even tho u cant bring urself 2 say it

Her: absolutely not – u’ll have 2 try harder

Me: what – ME try harder? no no no u have it all backwards – ur sposed 2b so overwhelmed by how loveable and irresistable I am that u cant control urself

Her: (after several minutes) I am laughing so hard

Next day when I saw her, every time I looked at her she couldn’t stop smiling. When I talked to her a little later she said she was laughing so hard at that last comeback. That one text message conversation has completely changed the way she looks at me. Now almost every day we’ll toss lines back and forth at each other about how little we like each other and it’s almost a like a dare to see who caves first, starts laughing, and admits it.

But of course this is all mixed with normal conversation where I actually pay attention to what she’s saying, and if she really does open up and ask me something that’s a serious issue where she needs help, I don’t stomp on her insecurities and make her feel stupid or embarrassed for revealing a little more about herself or asking for help when she truly needs it. There’s a big difference between flirty joking around and just being an a**hole who is humiliating someone.

btw, to Dru, here are a few possible responses:

her: anyone who says they don’t like games are the biggest players of all!

you: uh… yeah… ok… and your point? (said w/ knowing smirk)

or
you: ha, ha… takes one to know one (said impishly and end by very slightly sticking out your tongue and then look away with mock umbrage)

or
you: (furrow brow, mouth slightly open as if astounded, then say) uh, you’re saying that like it’s a problem (then after a pause, a quick, subtle, knowing smirk)

but no matter what — NEVER imply that you are committed to her or don’t play games if that’s not true. Just jokingly act like you think it’s cool that she’s finally figured out the real game, or act like you’re acknowledging that she’s busted on your “secret” but it’s cool cuz now she’s in on the game and it’s gonna step up another level.
Comment by Bobby on 13 November 2007:

To DRU: next time you should say,

“If you don’t play, you can’t win” (She’ll probably give you a confused look ‘cos you’ve probably just just told her you play games)

Then you say, “I’ll give you ’till tomorrow to figure that one out…might have gone over your head.”
Comment by Bobby on 13 November 2007:

To SHANE: a better one to,

her: hows my hair

me: maybe you should ask Donald Trump for some tips. Or say something that you can incorporate Donald Trump’s name into the response you give her.
Comment by Carapax (SWEDEN) on 13 November 2007:

Hi guys, awesome CF lines, I’ve incorporated several of them so thanks!

Last year I bought The Game and after that I read David DeAngelo: s Double your Dating my life has only gotten better , so much love to DD & CF and the whole community!

The scenario:

2 weeks ago, at college I ran in to an old classmate from high school who picked me out from the crowd and remarked how open and confident I looked, we chatted and I noticed two semi-hot girls approaching and looking at me. As they where about to pass by I whispered to my friend: Watch me do magic.

(this is a translation from swedish so bare with me.

Me: (loudly to turn their heads) Hey girls, windowshopping or would you like to buy something

girl: (turning around and smiling) Yeah, how much?

Me: show me your smile and we can negotiate the price!

girl (smiles)

Me: well… (looking disappointed)… nothing under 1000 dollars.

girl. haha! your pretty cocky!

Me: considering your mixing of last years fashion, you too!

girl: haha (punches my arm). I hope your not gay!

Me: actually this is my boyfriend (pointing to my friend)… I am the man in our relationship!

friend: (stunned)… eeehh

girls: (laughing)

me: but I am willing to try dating women, so give me your number and I MIGHT call you… but only if you have some hot girlfriends to introduce me to.

girl: haha, sure whats your name?

me: carapax

girl: (writing down her number) its jessica

me: ciao bella

Later that weekend I called her (gave it an timelimit since I was planning to go to a party later on, told her to meet me at a coffeehouse and to wear something “slutty” and she came in a really hot dress, and needless to say I took an raincheck on the party)… (we had sex)

*the last ” hot girlfriends” line was directly taken from Spades entry, so thanks!

I LOVE the windowshopping line because its so fresh funny and gutsy(said with the right voice-tone)… and if they walk away you can just say somethin like: keep walkin’, we dont have your size anyway girlfriend!
so I hope you guys have fun with it!

MUCH LOVE to David and Neil who not only changed my life but so many other guys, and to everybody here!
Pingback by Why Cocky and Funny Attracts Women on 23 November 2007:

[...] How to be Cocky and Funny [...]
Comment by Pashka on 28 November 2007:

Hey Chaps lovin the comments, some of which have been noted down.

This is my first ever post/mail in the PU community, only read the Game a couple of weeks ago and freshly signed up to a few email circulars.. but already my life is slowly beginning to change, not least my face aches from having to smile the whole bloody time..N.B. I love the fact all the women on this thread want to object but end up validating the essence of cheeky fun! Okay would love some feedback on my own material – always looking to improve – but a bit worried about letting my children out into the world, nonetheless here’s one of my fav routines – my own so good luck, plz be kind to it and of course, always punctuate with generous smiling.

Pashka, London P.S Need a wingman and sounding board! pashka@hotmail.co.uk – all comments welcome

1)
Me (to HB >7): Excuse me, don’t mean to be rude but did you used to be a man? (or if theres more than one – did you ladies used to be men?)
Her/them: what?! (surprise/offence)
Me: Well, you just can’t be too careful with girls these days, esp the quite pretty ones/the pretty ones with you know a bit of jawline/dodgy outfits etc (mime/point)
Her: …/whatever/no i’m not a man
Me: [pertinent response e.g. hey i didnt say the look's a bad thing just a bit confusing, followed by:] its just surgical ops are so commonplace these days, boob jobs in yer lunch hour, botox before dinner, seriously my best mate had his willy removed just before his sisters wedding… he did make a beautiful bridesmaid.
Her: smile/seriously!/whatever
Me: So look, I’m sorry but I’m still not convinced, you going to take take the ‘woman test’ or not?
Her: What?/The woman test?/whatever
Me: Yeah, the woman test.. what you’ve never heard about it!..uh oh.. well its just three simple, patented questions designed to tell whether someone really is a girl, nothing to worry about of course, that is if you really are female… (look suspicious)
[ok so i developed this for online chat precisely for its stated purpose but it translates well into real life, esp if theres more than one girl as you can play them off against each other. They should get everything right but if they get go wrong its great, gives an excuse to get all patronizing 'o baby its okay I quite like men' and kino]
Her/them: agreement or non agreement/uncertainty
Me to non-agreement/uncertainty: Well you don’t have to, if youre scared (cough and quietly) or a ladyboy.
Her/them: Agreement
Me: Oh I did mention each question’s timed didnt I, the longer you take the less of a girl you are…anyway question 1, ready?
Okay (get serious)…what colour do you prefer?..pink….or beige?
Her: … Pink! (smile)
Me: (rub her shoulder) See not too bad, just relax.. though you did have to think about that one didnt you, not entirely convincing (swiftly remove hand)! [if they go beige, i reckon the best response is prob 'blimey dont want to know what you get up to in the bedroom you filthy thing' wink and then move on to the next q.
[nb. questions two and three are interchangeable in order depending on the sort of conversation you want to go into next, I have only used it twice in real life and both times went with the order Ive set it down here because theres a chance they get the pill one wrong and then are relieved to get the last one right and you can go into a chat slagging off patrick swayze - leads to ghost and then demi moore fondling whoopi goldberg, anyway im getting ahead of myself..]
Me: Okay (mock serious again) second question, absolutely guaranteed no man will get this.. ready?..remember youre being timed… name.. a.. female.. contraceptive pill? (think you yanks would say birth control pill:)
Her: ……..ummmmmmm o shit whats it called….Evra!!! / sumthing else [when the girl answered this she kindof looked me in the eye quite seriously, (was taken aback for a sec) but I took it as daring me to say something cheeky - oblige! I replied in an understated manner...'Respect (ty neil)..i take that one too, controls my raging hormones'. If they can't remember, its an absolutely gift - tease away in whatever direction you like! If theye never taken one assess the situation and proceed carefully..]
Me: Okay okay, enough fun/not definitive/so far, sorry i didnt catch your names…oh okay well so far kates more of man than sarah etc… now the all important final question:
In the film ‘Dirty Dancing’, where Patrick Swayze plays a closet homosexual attempting to have a hetrosexual relationship…what….is the name….of the all famous final song?
Her: Time of my life!!!! (i dont know if thats even right but its always the answer given)
Me: And how does it go??
Her: ‘blah blah I’ve haaad the time of my life’
Me: Aww me too lady…(i guess that would be an opportune time to excuse yourself and number close if you want but instead I congratulated her for being a woman and told her that now she could buy me drink, we discussed patrick swayze and what made him so alluring (even as whoopi goldberg) I claimed to be a hotter dancer and got her to do a quick grind as i swivelled my hips, my mate cameover and I introduced him as the prettiest bridesmaid I knew (he didnt mind)..then the convo progressed to more chilled out life stuff and eventually I kiss closed.

Take care all who bothered to read, comments good or bad welcome

Ta to Donovan, all posters (and of course NS, M, DD).

Pashka
Comment by Pashka on 28 November 2007:

P.S. Would love to hear about anyones experience with my ‘woman test’ routine!
Comment by Pashka on 28 November 2007:

pashka@hotmail.co.uk
Comment by Pashka on 29 November 2007:

After re-reading, the opener part needs time constraint and context but thats not too diff problematic… excuse me ladies, we have to be moving at halp past but can you settle this argument between me and my friends.. are you men? etc
Comment by BOBBY on 29 November 2007:

Pashka, this girls must have low selfesteem to just wait around and let you waiste their time. I couldn’t even finish your “story”…get straight to the Cocky and Funny stuff my man…caught the chase!!
Comment by True(badore) on 4 December 2007:

Actually Bobby, I might disagree. That is to say, Pashka’s approach as he described it was not entirely cocky funny, but that’s not to say it wasn’t effective. Perhaps better suited for a different post as it stands now, with just a few C/F additions in the beginning it’s a great approach and leaves the possibility for a number of new strings. With the addition of time constraints, as he later mentioned, I think someone could do quite well with it. One thing I might suggest, however, is between the second and third question, don’t ask their names… rather, you might nickname them odd names, pointing out a foible or two (”Well, after round two it looks like Giraffe-neck here is a little more masculine than man-hands *point at each as you say it so they know who you’re talking about, then blow off their responses with a smirk and continue). It’s a great way to neg again, they’ll laugh–maybe make some contact (IOI), and it will make them want to give you their names in lieu of what you called them (IOI).

Remember you want to be in control, so don’t ask: make them tell. And Pashka, never, never say anything to the effect of “Sorry, I didn’t get your name(s)…” why are you apologizing? Again, you’re in control, demonstrate it. They will tell you because they want you to know, and even then no ‘nice to meet you’ responses. Furthermore, I’m not a proponent of offering up my name after they surrender theirs, I will wait for them to ask. Usually at that point I will respond similar to a C/F line previously mentioned on the post, “Well, my friends call me True, but for now you’ll have to call me Truebadore.” If they ask why I say, “Because you haven’t earned that privilege yet.” *potential wink, smirk* Or alternatively, if they say, “Truebadore? That’s a weird name” or “Why such a weird name?” (I’m sure we’ve all heard this), I look them dead in the eye and with confident conviction respond with “It’s one you won’t soon forget,” then coninue on with the routine.

And I love the last question, hopefully the target singing “I’ve had the time of my life.” If you feel the routine was hot and you earned some good rapport with your humor, you could always respond with, “I can see that, and you’re welcome, but such good things aren’t free…” and point at your cheek, as if to imply a kiss. When she leans in to kiss your cheek, (this was also discussed above, and a strong tactic) back up with your hands up and say, “Whoa! I said good things aren’t free, to get a kiss you first have to buy me a drink.” This should help you isolate the target, and a great feed-in to the kiss close.

But I get ahead of myself (always doing that, funny how it never seems to be a problem ;P ). Good luck to you Pashka, and best of luck in London!!
Comment by Pashka on 5 December 2007:

Cheers, True and I suppose Bobby:)!

Guess not that cheeky fun but it seems to me that most c/f comes from voice and body language even if your comments are fairly crap. Oh and many attractive girls do have well… if not low self-esteem but esteem that is particularly reliant on others because all the time they’re getting some form of approval from people. Hence part the power of negs. That said these ones didnt, I think it was confident bloody minded perseverence

- Yes, so the woman test routine might not be fantastically witty but it does take you through a set pattern which builds comfort and ends on a high, next time i use it i’ll be providing more context and dropping the willy bit before eventually using True’s transition to score me a G+T rather than a mere kiss

That said, the most recent favourite is an opener my mate and I used to Style’s photo routine (sure many of you will have similar):

Approach set with wingman and say – ‘ah at last some quite pretty ladies this town is so disappointing!’
‘right then we cant stay long but need pictures to prove it’s not all bad!’ turn to target and hand them digital camera, begin posing with other members.
Then, demonstrate value going through photos with cheek and charm making a big show to everyone involved (they’ll be so concerned with how they look that you can get away with v average comments – compliments and insults if ya not inspired)… eventually turn to target and say ‘oh sweetie did you not get in the pics’ turn to her friends – ‘what d’ya think some photos of moody, we dont want the film to be ruined?’ They insist and maybe even point out there’s no film (’ah you got me, okay then’). You get her to pose in the three ways. Wingman grabs camera, comments that ‘aww dont ya make a sweet couple’ before turning back to block set. You isolate her and look at photos together and tell her you suppose she’d do but she does have that sad or derranged look in her eyes – spiel some rubbish about her being a bit of a ’social observer’ or ’social lemming’ (gets carried away in the moment but a happy lil creature!); or in the UK run the c/u-shaped smile….and after a while if you’re running out of steam ‘hey i know this is the most fun youve had all evening but I’ve really got to go now, give me ya facebook/email and i’ll send you the photos.’

I cant believe this stuff works! Girls do sparkle!

Looking forward to continued banter, all my best!!!

Pashka
Comment by Pashka on 5 December 2007:

Realise i’ve inadvertently taken this thread away from cocky fun a bit – so here’s back to the lines. This retort just came out at a party on Sat night and was more successful than I bargained for:-

Her – I’ve got a bf.
Me – Yeah, I used to have one of them but he stopped giving me those schoolgirl butterflies [strong eye contact].. besides he couldnt keep up in the bedroom.

Reckon its a keeper for the bf response as it addresses both the main negative points in a tiring relationship!

Pashka X

(P.S this is how the rest went:
Her – …so you’re bisexual!
Me – oh yeah, arent you?
Her – (something i didnt hear)
Me – Come on everyone can be bisexual its fun, from the stories I hear – I reckon most my girl friends are.
Her – Disagreement
Me – [acting all profound] No i dont mean that in a dum blokey way, it’s just girls are more open to asthetics than most men. You know you’re more open to the beauty in the surroundings, in your friends! and the emotions you feel as a result. All i’ve done is be honest with myself – put it this way, I’m sure I can recognise whether or not a blokes is good looking as well as you can and thats just a way of appreciating his asthetics.
Us – [looked around at men, id pick a good looking guy but then undermine him in some way, oops was that your bf (is that wrong?)]
Her – I sooo don’t believe you, so..
Me – [cut off] fine well if youre saying im a liar I’m off for a drink…
[I just wanted a drink at this point and went off to get one, then randomly other girls started coming up and asking if I was really bisexual - my mates were drawn in and there was banter neither confirming or denying (btw im not)...all this combined to give me some serious social proof (?!:) and before she left the original one gave me contact details despite her bf being right there, he prob thought it was ok after all this but i was getting serious IOIs!])
Comment by Aaron on 9 December 2007:

I don’t really have a good c&f line because I’m new at this but I do have a question.

I do know that living by the c&f is bad and that you’re only supposed to use it sparingly. but how do u kno when to use it and how long do u go nagging her about it?
Thanks in advance.
Comment by ads on 14 December 2007:

go by her reaction, if she’s responding to it well then keep doing it. go with what works
Comment by jake on 18 December 2007:

sweet site.

any tips on how to trick a girl into an abortion, then suicide?

after we fuck, of course.
Comment by serbian milfmaster on 20 December 2007:

When a girl shows you pictures of herself and she’s doing stupid girly shit like posing and trying to look cute you say…

YOU: You don’t make these faces in real life! why is your body slanted and why are you looking to the left? don’t you have normal pictures of yourself, like at home in your sweats working on a thigh master?
Comment by John j on 20 December 2007:

Christams special

……….

u sure gonna come wrapped up in a box ready for me then ……

they are going to love
Comment by Ricky on 21 December 2007:

” Drew on September 7th, 2007 8:24 pm

The other day I was in the C&F zone with this girl and she said something bitchy, and I said “Blow me (not very classy I know but it fit in context ” and she said “Do you want me to?” like all serious. At first I just kind of froze up – I was so amazed at the magic of CF right before my eyes. Next time that happens, what do you guys think I should rebound with? ”

Your rebound can be something like :
1. “Did you wash your mouth, and if you don’t i`m not gonna put anything inside”, or
2. “Did you wash your teeth, like the doctor said ……. minimum 3 min”.
And last;
3. “Are we going to do that in public, cause i didn’t bring out my camera”

If she said “yes”(to do THAT) you can continue by saying :
4. “Well(LONG)… i was just kidding, and now i can tell,……. you are very easy girl”.

And else
I don`t like the thing that some think we PLAY GAMES with girls.
OK some of us play with girls.
I play games yes, on my PC(i love counter-strike ONLINE ).
But when it comes to girls i like to make them laugh and have fun time together.

And else #2:

her:what do you do in free time?
me:i`m babysitting,…..that`s why i`m with you now.

her:HI
me:no i`m not… but i have to say drugs are not good for you either.

If she has BIG boobs and you are making good conversation with her,having fun, stop for a moment look in her boobs and then in her eyes and say to her in a whisper voice tone:
1. ” Please, tell to your boobs to stop look at my eyes, i`m starting to feel embarrassed”.

KEEP UP!
Comment by Rosscones on 24 December 2007:

i explain to women how “i receive my period for two weeks of every month, thus making it twice as hard to fornicate with me!” (in comparisson to the average female.)
i then go on to explain how sick and tired i am being seen as nothing but a sex symbol.
(i have found that reversing the situations always makes it easier..well of course it would be when there the ones trying to bang you!!)
I discovered this at 14 when i got my first girlfriend and decided the aim: To have so much sex that you learn not to value it.
GETTING WHAT YOU WANT is easiest when you don’t want it at all!!!
Comment by donovan on 28 December 2007:

thanks guys. This collection is defintely growing quickly. Check out David’s Cocky Comedy for more methods.
Comment by JJdub on 2 January 2008:

Here are some of my faves:

her: my name is sara
me: oh cool, i know 3 other sara’s i’ll call u sarah4.

me: did u know that 93% of women masturbate in the shower and 7% sing……do u know what they sing?
her: no
me: ahhh u must be one of the ones that masturbates then;)

me: ur cute like my lil sister.

me: ur such a dork

me: u don;t get out much do ya?

me: (if she drops or spills somethin) see this is why we cant have nice things babe.

me: its ok u don;t have to be so nervous/shy around me

me: wow i feel bad for ur parents.

me: gimme a kiss on my cheek and mabye i’ll let u forgive me.

me: im too high maintenance for u

me: ur backl to square one with me missy!

me: its like watchin the view right now

me: isn’t this a school night?

me: woh anymore of that and im gonna have to charge u….and u know what…..(lean in and lower tone) u couldnt afford me;)

me: wow give this girl an inch she thinks shes a ruler

me: (after a date) i’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening……..but this wasnt it.

me: do ppl take an instant dilike to u? cuz they could save so much time.

me: ur table manners give vultures a bad name.

me: i’ve seen better arguments in a bowl of alphabet soup.

me: ur twice the man he is.

me: if they can make penecillin out of mouldy bread they sure can make somethin useful outta u.

me: u have a contagious laugh…..ppl get sick when they hear it.

me: we’d make good friends…we’d stab each other in the front.

me: (girl asked me to buy her somethin while shopping) i’d like to buy u somethin nice to put around ur neck…………a rope perhaps?

me: lets ask someone tats gonna give me a slighly more educated, intellectual decision………….hello wall what do u think?

me: iono who ur borefriend is but hes obviously not spankin u enough.

me: (to rest of set normally put my arms around her while doin this) I like this one…..is she potty trained?

me: we would be great together….we’re sooo donkey punch compatible!

me: (while checkin out her jewelry) wow its just amazing what u can find in cracker jack boxes these days!!

me: r u just tryin to get me drunk to get in my pants?

me: im not just a piece of meat ok!! i have feelings too!

me: im soooo out of ur leauge.

me: (shes shit testing u too much) u have a really strong personality, were u beaten as a child?

me: wow u are sooo special!……………did u leave ur helmut at home tonight?

me: girls sits next to me) woh watchout i bite…mostly around the neck area but sometimes i nibble on the lips.

me: (open a 1 set) ok listen u have to mins to impress me……..andddddd…..(check watch)……….go.

im tired its late…i’ll write more later…some of them aren’t really cockyfunny…but i thought i’d throw them in for shits and giggles.
Comment by JJdub on 2 January 2008:

the last line was meant to be “u have 2 mins to impress me” its late ppl…gimme a break.
Comment by Ricky on 10 January 2008:

this is cocky funny :

first interaction:

me:you are very beautiful !:P
her:don`t tell me, you are from wuss vile!?

P.S
DO NOT USE THIS.
Comment by Curtis on 13 January 2008:

This actualy worked..

Me: You know my dad told me that if you ask 100 girls to bed, one of them will say yes.

Her: (confused and not impressed) Yes, I’ve heard that before.

Me: You will never guess what number you are.

Her: Does that line ever work on girls?

Me: You calling my dad a liar?

5 Min’s later I took her home.
Pingback by Top Ten Most Popular Posts of 2007 on 14 January 2008:

[...] Are These Your Favorite Cocky and Funny Lines? [...]
Comment by Matt on 15 January 2008:

(For when you get her in the mood but morally she can’t have sex with you)
HER: Matt… stop… I just can’t have sex with you… I just cant.

ME: Your right. Brunetts just aren’t my type.

…………..

Her: (doing somthing difficult) Why do they MAKE this so damn hard.

Me: actually sweetheart it doesn’t come that way but I might let you get it there for me.

…………….

Her: (after geting somthing C&F told to her) oh well aren’t you so smooth.

me: I’m not one to brag but I’m guessing I’m going to need to cover for your self confidence issues.

………………

(After having a ’standards’ line puled on her)
Her: oh haha so how do I raise to you level then?

me: hmmm I’m actually an avaid fan of breakfast in bed.

…………….

Her: so you think your some kind of King when it comes to ladies?

Me: You will adress me correctly peasent or face the gallows.

Her: I’m not a fucking peasent.

Me: Well if I were a lowly peasent I would deny it too but really girl accepting is the first step to moving up the social ladder!

(starting to like the joke)
Her: haha ok what’s the next step?

Me: A Smurf.

Her: Ok now for real there’s no way I’m a fucking smurf.

Me: correct. Your all the way at Peasent. see your learning so quickly!

…………

Me: hey ill be back in town next week.

Her: Awsome! we should go out!

Me: Actually I’m pretty packed but if I find time for you to take me out to dinner I promise ill let you take me.

………….

(Approaching the prettiest girl in a bar) Me: Your a little out of place.

Her: oh? Why?

Me: Surrounded by all these gorgeous people… I walk you next door if you don’t feel comfortable. They don’t quite judge as harshly as we do.

…………

(Aproaching a girl on campus you know is college age and older than you)
Me: Are you looking for you class?

Her: No! I was just taking in the sights.

Me: Oh yea I heard about yalls high school field trip. You thinkin about applying here?

Her: What? I’m a student here.

Me: Oh your one of those Child Prodojy kids!
Comment by Jim on 15 January 2008:

Hahahahahaha Matt wins hands down. The 1st one and the one about the girl in a bar are PRICELESS

Those were easily the best
Comment by s on 18 January 2008:

me:
‘hi, I just wanted to say I noticed you from across the room, and you’re really attractive. What’s your name.. [cut off her response, if any with {confused expression}]‘….oh, no…I’m sorry…that’s your line’
Comment by shane on 18 January 2008:

me:you know, i don’t usually let women seduce me at/in the (place wherever you are) but your the luck y one

her:yeah

me:that i had a few beers before i got here
Comment by JMan on 20 January 2008:

This one was already mentioned on here but I take it a little further. I typically use this when I’m with a woman in a bar or a restaurant.

Her: (She does something and says sorry)
Me: I might forgive you (point to my cheek)
Her: She kisses me on my cheek.
Me: Point to the side of my neck.
Her: She kisses my neck.
Me: Point to my mouth.
Her: kisses my mouth and some of them will make out with you at this point.

Good to use if you have not kissed yet.
Comment by cj on 22 January 2008:

So as she says “I’ll be right back” or “see you later”

You just use the exagerrated:
“DON’T THREATEN ME!!!!”
Comment by shane on 24 January 2008:

hey guys i’m not sure about this one tell me what u think of it

me:hey nice dress

her:thanks

me:they sell that dress at the reject shop
Comment by lurch on 25 January 2008:

I’m 6′5″. Never knew what to say if a woman comments on my height.

Now a woman says ‘WOW YOU’RE TALL’” I respond with a bit of energy and “WHAT’S UP, SHORTY?”

Her reaction – totally blown sideways and its funny as hell for her at the same time.
Comment by MC on 31 January 2008:

Here is one (sorry for my bad english)

When meeting new girl:

me: The heaven is missing an angel tonight

(take her hand to kiss it, but just before you get her hand near your lips, turn it, and kiss your hand, and then say..)

me: I had to step down from heaven and see what you mortals doing.

MC, Serbia
Comment by neilo on 1 February 2008:

i always find this one a good one

her (says something stupid or annoying)

me: shut up or i’ll beat you

or if you already know the girl:

her (again says something stupid)

me: (name) why do you talk to me, i don’t like you?

she acts offended

me: god i was only joking don’t cry about it

i also have one to use when you’re play insulting each other-she says quite a good insult then you stutter like you’re trying to come up with you then just call her a dickhead. she will laugh because she has won the insults, but if you act annoyed that you couln’t come up with something better it will crack her up- you MUST act annoyed tho or it won’t work.

with my last gf, sometimes i used to play a points system; i would pretend that i didn’t like all the holding hands and hugging, calling it gay, so i gave her a points system; eg every nice thing she did or said i would award 5 points and every thing she did that annoyed me i would deduct 5 points, then for every 20 points she had at the end of the day i would allow her 1 minute of affection; of course its all a front but you can keep winding them up about it during the date or whatever, but you have to be half playful half stern..

if you have feedback let me know cheers
Comment by MC on 1 February 2008:

Need a wingman. If anyone from Serbia interested (Belgrade) it will be gr8. My mail is msmilos@yahoo.com
Comment by Doodee on 2 February 2008:

Thanks for sharing
Comment by Michael H. on 4 February 2008:

I’m just starting, and I need all the help I can get. Some of these are really good, keep’em coming!

here’s one i used a few months back that I just remembered using, and everyone around me found it hilarious:
*some random girl talking to her friends*-…I can sing pretty good in spanish.

*me*-hah, I’ll bet you can’t even sing in english!

(I guess you could use this for pretty much any situation when a girl brags about something she can do well in a foriegn language…insult the ability she claims to have indirectly by saying that she can’t even do it in her own language).
Comment by louis on 5 February 2008:

Mates, firstly this site is marvelous but i do need help on a certain aspect of the game now.

Last week i picked up this girl using c&f on a walk link by commenting on her shirt she was wearing, over the shoulder and stuffs.

me: i never bothered to ask, where did ya get the shirt from?
her: shirt? i got it from thailand.
me: right, i thought you’re gonna say, rainbow land.
her: laughs(cos the shirt was very colorful)
her: where’re ya from?
me: i grew up in the british council.
her: ah, i’m an exchange student here.
me: right, anywhat i’m heading off, do ya have a cellphone that works here?
her: sure, yeah i do. (gives the number)

i texted her by saying, “this is not a colored message, but the number of louis” and she replied, “haha! i only reply to colored text normally, but it was nice bumping into you louis.”

following that, i texted her 2 days later by saying, “louis thinks that the colorful paralegal is responsible for the recent spates of disappearance in the skies.” she didn’t reply the message. So in the night i called her cell, using my landline, and she picked up, i got into c&f mode talking about the fact that she’s not doing her job in controlling the colors and she said. “haha ver funny, louis can we talk later, i’m having a skype conversation right now.” so i said ok cool. Thing is i called her about an hour later.

and she never picked up, i am lost and i don’t know if i should call her again, i’m pretty bogged by my fear of her not picking up my call. What should i do mates? should i text or call her, and what should i say to build the attraction again, i suck in the after number game. this sucks.

louis
Comment by louis on 5 February 2008:

the text was meant to be, “louis thinks that the colorful paralegal is responsible for the recent spates of rainbow disappearances in the skies.”
Comment by Beto on 11 February 2008:

Hey guys,
i’m a college student and here’s a situation that i loved..
pure cocky funny! it’s a classic..

****

(A girl comes up to me while i’m in lecture)
Girl: Hey, is this seat taken, can I sit there?
Me: You can sit… but don’t bite me!
Girl: Ha! I’m not going to bite you! Most likely i’ll just sleep on you!
Me: Aren’t you frisky? I just met you and you’re already trying to sleep with me? What happened to the good’ol days of being friends first?!
Girl: You’re such an ass! I hate you! (sits down already)
Me: You would know what “Hate” is, =P
Girl: Oh be [quiet]… (I cut her off)
Me: Why are you so defensive and so close to me? I said no biting =P
Girl: Huh? (I cut her off again)
Me: Aren’t you feisty? tell you what, do what you do best and sit pretty — you might get a reward from me later
Girl: (Just stays quiet while i’m ignoring her)

It was good practice..
IDK, what do you guys think?
Comment by Paul on 19 February 2008:

> Chef Wrote:

> just met a girl. she’s gorgeous. but she has a > masculine personality. when i told a joke
> yesterday she smacked me on my shoulder. then
> as i left the car, she smacked my ass.

> any special way to deal with a chick like this?

Yeah there is.

I saw a post on here about mystery. The post was about what he’s done lately to help the community. I saw a lot of trashing posts in the thread.

This idea came from mystery. You say to her, “Don’t touch! This shit isn’t for free.”
Comment by Paul on 19 February 2008:

I think the majority of you are way beyond the point the cocky and not being funny at all and it is also obvious the majority of you ether didn’t watch or pay enough attention to David D’s Material. He gives you a couple really good examples.

From David D’s Cocky Comedy, “I suggest you go change out of that dress before the fashion police come and arrest your booty.”

I suggest you watch David D’s Cocky Comedy. If you’ve already watched it, I suggest you go watch it again.
Comment by Seeker on 21 February 2008:

Beto – I’m new to the community, but I think you went a step too far when you said “You would know what “Hate” is”. IMO you went from flirting to awkward.
Comment by Code on 21 February 2008:

Gentlemen,

Two that have worked well for myself and my wing are:

Her: So what do you do?
ME: Part-time ninja and male dancer
Her: You like to dance?
ME: You cannot afford me.

When we have seen a girl pass by on the second time…

ME: Ladies you look like you are walking around shopping for steaks. You really need to have more respect for men, I am not just a piece of meat and if this going to work you need to respect my soul.

HB7 came back with: I am just looking for meat.
ME: Isle three unless your vegan.
HER: No you will work!
Me: Slow down now! I have to find out if I like you.

Long story short, it was back and forth teasing even into later meeting. Absolutely relentless, she may have her own copy of The Game.

Cheers
Comment by Sev on 23 February 2008:

Those are some good lines guys.

I’m pretty young so I haven’t used much.

Her: Do you plan on getting married?

Me: Will you say yes?
Comment by mike on 28 February 2008:

I love these. Some are a little too cheesy or offensive in my opinion, but I am impressed with you guys, there’s much to be learned here.
Comment by Mike on 28 February 2008:

these are great guys, keep them coming!
Comment by Mike on 2 March 2008:

tell me what u guys think about this one. I used it to ask a girl out for a date I had this weekend.
On the phone after making some chit chat:
Me: so do u have any plans for the weekend?
Her: I’m not sure what I’m doing yet… What about u?
Me: I’ve got a pretty cool date planned. We’re gonna be going to such and such place and doing this and this (build it up)
Her: Oh… Sounds fun.
Me: yah it should be pretty cool. Youre probably wondering who the lucky girl is right? Well the one I have in mind is pretty cool. That’s actually exactly why I’m calling you.

I came up with this one. What do u think?
Comment by Ricky on 3 March 2008:

when you start talking to her and busting her balls and if she said something like:

“no one ever speak to me like this”
and you be like:
“stop lying” (very serious)
her: “no really”
me: “well i am speaking to you like this how can you say NO……….LIER! “
Comment by maui on 7 March 2008:

HER: I have a boyfriend.

ME: Wow! What a coincidence. I have a girlfriend. That’s one thing we have in common. Looks like this relationship is off to a good start. (smiling)

Im new to this. I never tried it. Any comments?
Pingback by Next Big Project » Roosh V on 10 March 2008:

[...] Chronicles. You’ll probably like posts such as Top 20 Date Idea “Templates” for Men, Favorite Cocky & Funny Lines, and Interview With Neil [...]
Comment by fisther on 14 March 2008:

How bout this one? whan she tells u her name u say ” oh I really like that name, it;s the same as my dogs”
Comment by Ricky on 15 March 2008:

Ok first i have to say something that i just learn from David deAngelo = cocky comedy video series.
(watch it i recommend you)
And you`ll learn that the point is not to be cocky funny but FUNNY & CONFIDENT. that is good to know and to work on it.
Because if you try to be cocky+funny you’ll be arrogant. (i know i read all of the posts).
So please make your self FUNNY + CONFIDENT.
I was arrogant myself thinking that i was funny( maybe i was funny a little, but most of the time i was like trying to impress and arrogant) and after i watch the video i got it.
And don’t try to make stand up comedian of yourself
just have fun.
When you go out on a date DON`T FORCE yourself to say something funny just ….HAVE FUN. And when you have fun girls will notice that and THEY will find you.
and else :
Don`t show to a girl that you like her,
(especially if she is HOT; and by HOT i mean a girl that when you see her you want to jump on her leg like a dog… or maybe not just her leg )
or do something that makes you want her;
just be indifferent.
OK? – GOOD !
P.S.
And watch some Triumph the insult dog
that will make your day.
Comment by Ricky on 21 March 2008:

Some c&f lines when a guys yell at your girl(hey baby you are hot), when you walk by those, so called… JERKS :

1.They: (to your girlfriend) Hey baby you are hot!
YOU : Thanks man but you are not my type.

2.They: (—||—) ——||——- !
YOU: Thanks man but i`m taken(pointing to her).

3.They: (—||—) ——||——- !
YOU:(to her) I pity him (like you really do, but fake).
Comment by jc on 24 March 2008:

This kind of thing can be gold, so long as you don’t overdo it… here’s one I just used a week ago when setting up to hang out with a girl I recently met.

her: are you free later?

me: I’m always free… but tips are appreciated.
Comment by O-DESS on 29 March 2008:

hey, tell me what u guys think
this i use on a first date

if she’s lying and your about to bust on her for lying say
” wow your lying to me already, your messing up your chances,
do u ever tell the truth, i’ll tell u what, next time if u lie, lie with me cause no ones needs to know what we do;)”
Comment by Doppelganger on 4 April 2008:

A problem with me is that I went from shy yet funny guy to a state in which I can speak to anyone but being either funny or arrogant. I think I pop out c&f statements but I guess most of them are plain arrogant and rude. And this happens due to the fact that I was inspired by the TV character House in order to get used to telling cocky things, although I think I am on the other side of the spectrum.
Does anyone know a way to balance those two ingredients of the c&f skill?

Situation:
I wanted to grab and sandwich and there was a line full of girls waiting to pick something from the store. So as I was approaching I tell them “These things are fattening girls and you’re already fat”
They are stunned and I manage to pass by them and grab my sandwich. Next to me there was a girl I know and asked me in a way that it implied she had realised this was a joke: “Did you call us fat”
Me: “Not yoouuu.”
Her: “Ah ok”
Me: “Some imaginary girls over there” and I leave.

This was I think rude. But the funny thing is that when I’m around friends I am always the guy who tells the jokes and all the funny things and we laugh. And then I’m not rude at all. Should I keep that mentality with women and stop trying to be cocky, cause as you can see I step at the dark side of cocky and funny.
Comment by tyrone on 7 April 2008:

this stuff is really good, but you have to understand that women are diffrent and cocky funny does not always work, you really need to know when and when not to use it. some of these posts are really good, but some are really cocky and not funny at all. being funny is never bad thing though. and if you guys are really having trouble with getting b**chs, you got to change you look: go tanning, buy some nice clothes(shoes are really important), and always smell good,

-duces

(fyi,thats how the marines say catch you later)
Comment by Rafał Pawłowski on 9 April 2008:

The most important thing to watch out with C/F (besides delivery ofc) is to never let it stop you from escalating physically (kino). I let it once and it was weird – she was obviously attracted but for some damn reason I couldn’t even kiss her, let alone fuck her. And she found a sink of hers attraction in some other guys! Seems assinine at first, but when you come to think about it, it makes perfect sense.
Comment by Drew on 13 April 2008:

Whenever ur taking a pic with a girl, start messing around. Say stuff like, “Ok, on this one were doing sexy faces.” And then when u both check out the pic, look at her and say (no matter how good her “sexy face” is) “I said sexy, not constipated!” Always solid.
Comment by Mike on 14 April 2008:

Funny stuff

Whenever a girl does something you do not approve of, either gently hti her arm/shoulder. Or say
“This friendship will never work out”
Both do miracles…i would know
Comment by ANTONIO on 14 April 2008:

ME; THEY CALL ME BIG MAC
HER; WHY IS THAT
ME; BECUSE AM #1
Comment by Mike on 18 April 2008:

note to self: this is a good one

“My watch can tell if u have panties on
it says you don’t
wait
it’s 15 minutes fast”
Comment by realman on 22 April 2008:

well guys here is a good one i figured out myself. whenever in a bar/club u met a girl and she says she has a boyfriend use this to give her a little hit,

her:i have a boyfriend
you: ohh… i ccc,hmm as old as you her you are dating
an underage.
her: he is not underage, actallyy he is 26yrs
you:now i know the problem, have u considered an english course?
her:waht!!
you: i mean he is too old to be a “boy” but a man so gatta use a
gud one next time. then trun away not listening to her response
Comment by Rupe on 30 April 2008:

some of these are too cocky. ADD some god damn funny into them. come on guys…
Comment by Doppelganger on 3 May 2008:

I took cocky phrases and tried to turn them into cocky and funny ones, although some of them you’ll find sarcastic. Btw don’t use cocky and funny on not so clever girls(actually avoid them anyway). They will get offensive and take it unkindly.

#if you wait for her to get dressed, or you meet her somewhere and it’s obvious that she invested a lot of energy to get dressed (what girl doesn’t?)

- So you didn’t come dressed?
- You know that clothes have been invented right?
- Nice dress… for my grandma.
- Oh well it’s night, who’s gonna see you in the dark?

#you want to comment on her intelligence

- You are a monster of intelligence! Without the intelligence part
- (serious look) You’re blond aren’t you? (for girls with dif. hair color)
- Let’s just say that nobody can call you a smartass…
- (Knocking on the head – gently ) Knock, knock… no response..
Dialogue:
You- No,no you’re really smart!…at some parts…
Her- Like?
You- Well…ah…(look away or stride away)

#comment on her trying to say something and making a verbal mistake

- In your own words.
- Have ever listened of “the first grade”?
- I know that when I’m close to you you lose your words, but try to control yourself. (add on: it’s unattractive)

#comment on her outlook (if she’s good looking)

- You’re the 4th most beautiful girl I’ve seen today… (add on: kiddin’! You’re not even good looking)
Dialogue:
You- Oh my you’re… well… you go to a magic mirror and you ask it “Mirror mirror on the wall who’s the prettiest of them all?” You know what it answers?
Her- What? (waiting to hear her name)
You – It breaks!

Halloween
- Oh my what an ugly fac!(e)…. …you’re not wearing a mask are you? (with a way that you just realised it)

Please guys give me some feedback on those. Are those lines c&f or again too cocky? Or who of the above did you find cocky?
Btw we should really create an online cocky and funny workshop in a forum or something
Comment by Rupe on 3 May 2008:

a cocky and funny workshop would be bad ass
Comment by Rupe on 3 May 2008:

a cocky and funny workshop would be pretty sweet
Comment by zudnic on 3 May 2008:

Girl: What do you do?

Me: I’m in the seminary, thinking of leaving though.

Girl: ummm…. Really? (little surprised)

Me: I just cant get into little boy’s–Too be a priest

Girl laughs 9 times out of 10. I go into my: speaking of religion.

Me: sex must have sucked for Jesus– Every time girl would be: oh God, Oh God. whole compared to the Father… Ego killer I tell you.

Girl either says one or two things: Your “funny” or “bad” (she’s always smiling)

Me: You have’nt seen Me on the dance floor

I use this all the time, girls working at coffee shops, grocery, clothing stores, waitresses. If outside of club and no dance floor. sub dance for bowling, playing pool, etcetera. I even took a girl out for her birthday. A hooters waitress out at her favorite restaurant and a hotel bartender out bowling. I’ve even had a friend go to the bathroom, leaving Me with a first date. After she watched Me use my BS on other girls. She said: “You know we should go out sometime”
Comment by Amazing Paul on 5 May 2008:

okay here are a few lines that i just so happened to use today =) ….
Situation #1 a girl has just touched u physically kissed, hugged etc…
Me: Alright that’ll be a Dollar fifty
Her: For what? (confused and all)
Me: (give her a shocked expression) You didn’t think I was free did you?

Situation #2 !!!This can be fatal if you don’t deliver it correctly, and the girl MUST like you otherwise she’ll take it as an insult!!!! Okay a chick is talking to you about something pretend to “zone out” staring straight at her eyes…
Her; Are you okay?(she’ll say something like this)
Me: I never knew that a hooker could be so beautiful(or use an animal instead of a hooker LOL… becareful!)

#3 Girl(friend) is getting tired she asks for a piggyback ride or for you to carry her
Her:can i please have a piggy back ride? or can u please carry me?
Me: (dont answer for a few seconds, ignore her…then look her straight in the eyes n say in an undertone) I would if you weren’t so heavy…

#4 Your eating food with a girl, let her finish first…
Me: (offer her ur food) You want my food also? (with big eyes have some disbeief in them)
Her: umm no thanks, why are u asking?
Me: okay, I just thought that pigs(or anyother animal) ate more food…

remember guys that these cocky lines can be dangerous…earning u slaps, kicks in the crotch etc… There is a fineline between cockiness and just making the other person feel bad at their expense … Goodluck!
Comment by Lafaminute on 13 May 2008:

This line works great on beautiful mature women (30’s up). it doesn’t work well with young hotties! I was sitting at a crowded bar in an Uno’s resturrant when a beautiful red headed women walked up. the bar stood next to me was the only one available so she attempts to sit down and says,

Her: Excuse me is this sit taken

Me: Can you control yourself? ( without even looking up at her)

Her: What did you say to me? (The look on her face was priceless, you know the I can’y believe you said that to me look)

ME: its been a long day and i’m tired of being hit on. I just want to drink my beer and be left alone.

Her: Fine

Five minutes later her leg was brushing against mine.

Me: Here we go

Her: It was an accident

ME: Sure it was, thats what they all say

To make a long story short, we were bumping bellies one drink later
Comment by Jason on 13 May 2008:

This was inspired from another post on here, but I changed it a little.

her: starts talking about her day..blah blah
me: did you just ask if you could make out with me?
her: no
me: oh, that must have been my mind trying to keep the conversation interesting…
Comment by vj on 25 May 2008:

HB- I have a boyfriend
PUA- we just met and you are telling me about your problems.
Comment by ravnar101 on 5 June 2008:

stuck up girl at bar:

Her: I’m waiting for my boyfriend
Me: Well that’s too bad, I can imagine waiting is part of the human experience but I like to do instead of wait.
Comment by chris on 8 June 2008:

to stuck up girl
her- you are not my type
me- come on lower your standards a little I did
Comment by Doppelganger on 11 June 2008:

I wonder if it works better like this

“come on, set your standards higher”
Comment by Doppelganger on 12 June 2008:

Ok, don’t mind my previous post. Chris’ is much, much better. I hadn’t seen the “I did” part lol.
Comment by Rodo on 22 June 2008:

I went with this girl to a supermarket before we were going to a beach party. She was waiting outside.

Me: I just bought some condoms for tonight
Her (trying to behave offended): I don’t have any STD’s
Me: Who said I was planning to use them on you?
Comment by ryan on 22 June 2008:

I always find it entertaining to give a valid compliment (that shirt looks good on you, those are nice shoes… whatever.) and follow it up with… I guess I can only describe the noise as radio static mixed with a laugh–you gotta kinda break eye contact for a second so it looks like you’re laughing to yourself. (By the way, we seem like a MAJOR bunch of nerds here… though I’m certainly as guilty as anyone else.)
Comment by Female on 29 June 2008:

I am a female. Do not do this. It is pure and utter gayness. Thank you.
Comment by gonzo on 6 July 2008:

the point is really to be more funny than cocky… be cocky about little things and make it funny..

do you know whats REALLY good practice.. go to a strip club.

and why? well the girls off the bat are going to be nice and friendly, but..its not like they are not attracted to the men there…

and yet.. its easier to be yourself at a strip club.. it relaxes you.. i went to a regular nightclub after my 1st night at a strip club.. and let me tell you how much success i had..

plenty of beautiful girls.. plenty of numbers!! and how??

i was relaxed, confident in what i was saying.. more funny than cocky.. made everybody had a blast…. i was truly myself and not nervous or shy to be myself either

now … this may not work for everybody.. its kind of like an ego boost for the night and helps you feel much more confident.. which honestly is exaclty what you need to be

try being funny but a little cocky at a strip club yet keep good eye contact… you’ll be surprised at how well it works at a nightclub

and this is because.. people are people regardless of where they are or what they do.. if you act nasty at a beautiful girl on the dance floor — expect to get slapped – right? its not any different at a strip..

an a$$hole is an a$$hole is an a$$hole
Comment by gonzo on 6 July 2008:

oh and i forgot to finish what i was saying..

DONT BE AN A$$HOLE

itll get you no where

oh and for fun.. act as if you’re gonna give a cute girl a lap dance 4 fun.. itll bring you attention and more girls WILL come to you.. obviously because you’ll seem.. FUN!!!!!

if there is no interest or eye contact… expect to be looked at as if you have 3 heads

so guys.. get out there and be YOURSELF.. and most of all HAVE FUN!!!

look.. im husband material and everybody i know KNOWS IT!!

am i looking for the perfect girl to be my wife?? OF COURSE

and if you havent noticed yet.. you usually end up getting more of what you really want when you least expect it

so go out there and have fun.. you might just end up w/ your perfect partner!!!
Comment by zenichiro on 9 July 2008:

One Liners:
Her: I just bought a vibrator
You: Really? I was wondering how you chipped that tooth…
Her: I am having boyfriend trouble…
You: What, you can’t find one?
Her: My boyfriend is kinda weird, but he grows on you…
You: Like warts?
Her: Do you believe in safe sex?
You: Of course! I always floss after.
Or
You: Of Course, I always ask when her parents are coming home…
Her: I’ll have the salad; I am watching what I eat.
You: I’ll have the steak, and then you can watch what I eat too.
“That’s a nice dress you are almost wearing.”
Comment by mike j on 11 July 2008:

at a karaoke a woman comes up and asks me for a slip and i reply “thats alright love you dont have to write your phone number down just put it strait in my phone.” or “shouldnt you ask me before you put us up for a duet how easy do you think i am?”
outside bar having a smoke woman comes up and asks for a light i pull a torch from my pocket and say ” there now you can see while you write down your number”
Comment by Jasin on 13 July 2008:

Asking you whether you have a girl friend or not

her: Do you have a girl friend?
Me: why, are you looking for one?
Her: no i just wanna know
Me: no its okey, you can ask

Or

Her: do you have a girl friend?
me: Have you ever heard of James Bond?
her: uhm yeah
Me: Well you get an idea

Well i kind find it hard to answer those questions in a cocky and funny way.. still thats the best i can come up with
any idea’s ..?
Comment by Doppelganger on 16 July 2008:

Another idea on that

Her: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
You: (speaking to yourself thoughtfully)”Yesterday was *name”, today’s *name”…I have an opening on Friday night”

Her: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
You: “It’s THAT obvious, isn’t it?”

Her: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
You: “Why, don’t you?!”

And if you’re extremely unlucky and a guy asks you this question or you happen to work at a gay bar (this is from a friend of mine)

Him: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
You: “Yes, your mom!”
Comment by Dale McKinzie on 19 July 2008:

I just found this site today and would really love a lady’s opinion. I have been reading all of these put downs of women on this site (you’re ugly, stupid etc) and I am wondering does this really make you want to go out with a guy?
Having said this some of these are funny:
Her: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
You: (speaking to yourself thoughtfully)”Yesterday was *name”, today’s *name”…I have an opening on Friday night”

This one also

Situation #1 a girl has just touched u physically kissed, hugged etc…
Me: Alright that’ll be a Dollar fifty
Her: For what? (confused and all)
Me: (give her a shocked expression) You didn’t think I was free did you?

Although, I would probably change it to: You didn’t think I was easy AND free did you?
Comment by Sandman on 20 July 2008:

Came up with an awesome concept the other night at a party.
I call it TCC or Text Cocky Comedy.

A group of us were sitting/talking and the hot girl next to me starts writing a msg on her phone (not good, i want her attention on me) so I whipped out my phone held it out so she would look curiously and wrote “(name) is pretending to write messages because she has no friends” for this i received a punch to the arm and a great laugh.
I then told her to mind her own business and stop reading my messsages.

Then I wrote another one and the curious thing read it again and laughed. By this time she had stopped writing her msg & was writing one to me and everyone in the group wanted to see what we were doing.

I then looked into her eyes and proceeded with a clssic David D. technique to get her full attention “I’ve worked out something really interesting about you”
Her: “What is it?”
Me: “Well it’s kinda deep, I don’t think anyone would have picked up on it before”
Her: “TELL ME, WHAT IS IT?”
Me:”lets go dance”

So remember, if a girl is txting on her phone and you want her attention.
Just give it a bit of TCC.

*note: this technique can be easily overdone, do it once or twice on the girl, no more.
Do NOT keep doing it just cos your getting a good response, it WILL get old. Now that shes in your world you need to use verbal cc and attraction devices (eye contact/kino) to further your progress and seal the deal.
Keep on playin boys.
Comment by Sandman on 20 July 2008:

Comment by louis on 5 February 2008:
great start up line, the prob with your after game is variety, don’t keep going back to the same joke. It’s the same with my above technique… (TCC)
The only exception to going back to a joke is by giving her a rainbow-related nickname or something… this kind of stuff doesn’t age.
As for the girl I would say she would be beyond recovering as she has already let you down.
It’s cool, just make sure you learn from this experience.

Peace out.
Comment by The Blue Fox on 7 August 2008:

First off,

You: “blow me”
She: “Do you want me to?”

That sounds like a shit test to me. She expected you to tense up. She owned you. To plow through that, you cannot, I repeat, cannot take her seriously.

Second,

Cocky and Funny does not work within the frame of degrading the woman. Sure, every once in a while, if she already knows you actually dig her and want her and if you do it playfully enough, it can get a response. Negs aside, it is really bad game to build yourself up by tearing her down. I have never gotten anywhere that way.

I cannot say this enough, women are not turned on by a man who does not dig them. Women are not turned on by a man who does not want them. They are turned on by a man who wants them but who also has high standards because he values himself.

Pretending she is trying to seduce you is good. Pretending she is ugly or stupid is bad.

The essence of a good C/F is to the convey this message: “I am a pretty great guy, but I think you might just be special enough to get me.”
Comment by Locbox on 7 August 2008:

Remember, leave them better than you got them. ^_^
Comment by mark anthony valentino on 20 August 2008:

hey guys i just recently used this one.

Me: Man my legs are so sore…
her: why are they sore..?

Me: Well anybody would be tired running through your mind all day;-)
her: omg your so funny…(blah blah)
Comment by Ricky_MKD on 21 August 2008:

Comment by Doppelganger on 16 July 2008]

i like this version its really funny

Her: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
You: “Why, don’t you?!”
Comment by Dannyboy on 23 August 2008:

if a woman bends over to pick something up..

me: keep bending over like that you’ll soon have a boyfriend!

i tried that a couple of times and got great response from it
Comment by Robert on 24 August 2008:

If a woman is reading something (a sign, a book, online news):

you say: pffffft. who are you trying to kid. you don’t know how to read (emphasis on read)
Comment by davey richardson on 26 August 2008:

Me: (after some conversation and comfort building. when both of you are generally finding out more about each other): Are you left handed or right handed?
Her: I’m left handed. What about you?
Me: I’m awesome handed

Her: Do you have the time?
Me: Do you have the energy?
Comment by Cem on 28 August 2008:

Since I’ve learned so much information from everyone here, I thought I’d let you dip into on of my personal best.

This is me(Cem) talking to my friend “War Is coming” about buying some drinks at a store from a hot girl.

Cem says:
You don’t remember what it is I said though?
War Is Coming says:
Yeah I do.
War Is Coming says:
We put the drinks on the counter.
War Is Coming says:
She said “Together?”
War Is Coming says:
And you said “Yeah, but just the drinks”

War Is Coming says:
I said it like 10 times in Cali.
Cem says:
Did it work?
War Is Coming says:
What do you mean did it work, of course it worked.

Hope it works for you guys as well!
– Cem -
Comment by david on 11 September 2008:

LMAO this some random shit i got of the Internet for entertainment purpose only! don not try this at home!

Tips on how to spit game to agirl? Rule 1. Women LOVE to be called bi.tches and ho’s. Rule 2. If you’re out somewhere, and an attractive girl walks by you, tug on her shirt or grab her azz and say, “hey baby, you wanna get wit dis?” Rule 3. If a woman turns you down, it’s because she’s a prude with sand in her vag00. She will die a lonely spinster, and this shouldn’t bother you. Rule 4. Set your cell phone ring tone to whatever’s number#1 on Cingular’s most popular ringtone list, and make sure someone calls you just as you start talking to a girl. Answer your phone, and then completely disregard the woman’s presence. She’ll be so awed by the fact that you’re so important you don’t care whether or not she’s interested that she’ll probably invite you back to her place for “drinks” Rule 5. Sounding educated is a start. Who wants someone who sounds like they have no future? Unless you are only looking for a hood rat. Rule 6. slap her and say ‘you’s my hoe. you down foxy mamma’ Rule 7. brush your tongue too it hold More games than the mouth

Again ppl don’t really recommend this moves unless your trying to get bitch slap or go to jail.

now all i could say is B yourselves, don’t talk to much, don’t try to hard and play the (hard to get role) Girls diggs Confidence. ask questions make her engage in conversation, make eye contact, ask her to the movies you might score.

cheers!
David

Keep them coming…
Comment by JayJay on 11 September 2008:

“What time did you get up this morning?”
(Her:5Am 6Am*whatever)…”Well you look like you could use a little more beuty sleep…maybe an hour or two that should do it.”
(this one got me the finger almost instantly but within minutes she was joking and flirting with me. go figure)

“Oooo…I’m sorry about your hair, wait here…I’ll get you a sombrero to cover that up.”

At a dinner Party- “Julie, you can thank me later but I already asked and they said you can have seconds.”

remember it’s not always what you say but how you say it that Attracts girls, how you say it makes all the difference

Keep em’ coming boys…
Comment by PUA extraordinaire on 14 September 2008:

I used this line to great effect and I thought i would share it. Yesterday while i was at a department store one of the employees who was very cute was trying to help me pick out shoes. once the ordeal was over she asked if i wanted to purchase them and than i said no something else caught my eye (give her a furtive look and pause for a few seconds) she will reply and what would that be (thinking your speaking about her) then you say the mirror over there but since its not for sale i guess youll do, killer
Comment by Amateur on 20 September 2008:

Hey guys….. I do really like your idea on cocky comedy, but I just figured out that there must me a good timing for all this. I mean, it won’t work ALL the time. Some situations that you are in will LARGELY require you to get her(the girl) to the comfort zone first before all your hanky panky starts to work.

Of course, I don’t mean that you have to be a wuss initially. Maybe just cut down on the cocky at first. Just be friendly and funny if the girl is like shy or SUPER shy. Then when you can see that she is having fun (e.g. starts adding something to the conversation without you asking her a question), start all the cocky and funny stuff. Do this at the right timing. If she is just starting to get comfortable then kick back for a few minutes.

My point is that you need to get her to go to the climax of comfort before all of these can work. If she is not comfortable being around you, no amount of C&F will work. (although it was funny to you but it can be otherwise to her)

I just discovered this when I was talking to my dad’s friend yesterday. She had a daughter and this little girl here was like turning away from me. The situation was so tense for me and her. I knew that cocky and funny wouldn’t work so I tried plan B. My mind was stuck coz I was so focused on not screwing up but at the same time I didn’t want to act like a wuss. Well, did not get to talk to her coz I was not in the comfort zone. It takes two to tango and she was so tense and so was I.

When I got home, I finally thought of a thousand ways to get her to open up. I could have said something like : “Hey, do we look like we eat people up or what? You have finished your meal but still staring at your plate. Come and join us; I promise not to bite.” Yeah, the cocky stuff is all tuned down for a moment here. Instead, if I went like :”I know you have a pretty butt but you don’t have to turn your back on me (she was sitting in a position that is facing away from me)” she might just think that I am a jerk and never talk to me again. Remember that she is shy in the first place.

Getting in the comfort zone is really Step 1. Not cocky comedy, unless the girl is already in it. (she is responding well to you or she came to talk to you)

Dynamites are powerful but must be handled with care! So is cocky comedy.
Comment by dav on 23 September 2008:

Her: wanna get a cup of coffee?
ME: im sorry but my mom educated me not to go out with strangers.
Her: but this way we wont be strangers no more…
Me: Yea and then you turn out to be a rapist right? plus i dont have any condoms with me today.

I have more if u want… just probably not the best
Comment by Hardcore Puller on 3 October 2008:

This ones good if your friend is talking to some girls and you haven’t broke into the conversation yet..

My friend was telling some story to two girls we met in the club so i whipped out my phone and typed “He talks crap (: >>>” and held it up behind him so that the > were pointing at him. They laughed and my friend turned round i quickly smiled putting my phone away casually then i went in with some normal conversation.

It worked like a charm..
Comment by shorty on 4 October 2008:

me: do you know if there are any churches around here?
her: no, why?
me: its a good place to go to score some free wine!

me (to bartender): I’ll have a water thanks.
her: you’re a bit of a pussy for drinking water.
me: well you know what they say- ‘you are what you eat’!!!

me (on a cold night): don’t you care about global warming?
her: yeah, why?
me: you’re going around with you high beams on the whole night- try to conserve that precious energy a bit!

her: damn you’re tall, you should play basketball!
me: yeh and you should be a plumber because you’re full of shit

me: do you want to dance?
her: yeah ok
me: awesome, i’ll watch- the pole is over there..

her: so what do you do?
me: it’s not what you do, but how you do it that counts!

*At a new bar/ club for the first time-

me: this is my first time here- I guess that makes me a virgin!
her: how was your first experience then?
me: well, it was a bit hard to find the entry at first!
Comment by Ross Jeffries on 7 October 2008:

“Are you Russian?”

“No”

“Good…because you should take your time when you’re meeting someone you’re really going to like”.

In any case, remember the best humor draws on the actual situation. Here is another giveaway for use in the supermarket.

You: “Excuse me…but if you saw someone shoplifting..right here…right now..would you turn them in?”

Her: “I guess so”

You: Because you took my breath away…..”

Remember once you get the laugh, I suggest a self-effacing(mildly) introduction with an implied compliiment, as in,

“Ok, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve said in months to meet someone who I might really like…I’m YOUR NAME”.

RJ
Get in on my first new complete course in 12 years:
http://www.speedseduction.biz/launch Free Video clips and tips!
Comment by Don Juan on 10 October 2008:

Her: I have a boyfriend!
You: That’s Ok…..I am not the jealous type. Anyways my name is Jack.
Comment by net on 12 October 2008:

Great Guys..keep it up!
Comment by anonymous on 12 October 2008:

i can’t believe no one has included the “you remind me of my dog” line.

it’s a classic
Comment by Tim Lewis on 13 October 2008:

This one came to me after the moment had passed, so I never got to try it out:
Me after noticing an attractive girl on a PC next to one I was going to use, but was out of order, and some of the keys had drips on them
Her: I don’t think that one’s working
Me: It looks like someone’s been dribbling on this one -
have you been dribbling all over that
Predicted response: No!
Me: It’s not good – I think you should go and get a cloth and wipe it off – don’t you? (said in a teasing mum to child type voice)
Predicted: I haven’t been dribbling on it
Introduce myself, then say
Me: Well I better go now – before the sight of me sets you off again and you have TWO keyboards to wipe, but give me your email and we can chat later (take out pen and paper for her)
Comment by Radiation(still AFC) on 14 October 2008:

Well the other day i went out casually with my cousin, she encouraged me to do some sarging that day… eventually i got the nerve to what i have been learning for the past 2 weeks, i went into a shoe store (for Men) and worked up the nerve to use a opener wich i invented on the spot
I took the plainest pair of shoes i could find and took it to the assistant working there…..

Radiation: Hi, i would like to know if it is possible that i could put some words or patterns on the shoes(obviosly i knew it was not possible)
her: um sorry but we dont do that(she said it in a lame tired voice like she worked 3 shifts,i never expected her to be so much in a “bad” mood)

so i left and went over what i did wrong(and no i actually did 2 approaches but anyway)
this is what i think i should have done, tell me what you think

Me:Hi, i would like to know if it is possible that i could put some words or patterns on the shoes
Her:No sorry blah blah etc
Me: ’cause i was thinking that i could maybe put my name on it. or even your name
Her:(looks confused)
Me: maybe even our aniversary day cause im not good at remembering names or dates

I not sure if its C&F but please tell me what you guys think of it…
Comment by cocky funny on 15 October 2008:

My favorite is whenever they pay for anything for me, I say “thanks but you know you’re not getting lucky tonight”
Comment by Chris on 15 October 2008:

Hey you guys no what? I just put on axe before i came here. So if you get the urge to throw yourself at me it’s completely normal just remember you’ll have to get in line.

or

Hey you guys no what? I just put on axe before i came here. So i realize i’m completely irresistible but please control yourselves.

girls love those axe commercials

We’ve never actually been introduced(or we’ve never actually talked) but i can tell you really want to get to know me. (you could reword it a million different ways)
Comment by Doppelganger on 20 October 2008:

Haven’t tried this one, but I just came up with it

You meet a girl and a friend is next to you

You(talking to the girl/ voice tone low, slow voice): “You look….”
Friend: “..stunning?”
You: “I was going to say ‘like my grandma taking a bath’, but why not?”

Because I just came up with it, I don’t know if it’s just funny or if it plays its role.
Comment by Tim Lewis on 20 October 2008:

How about making sniffing noises and leaning in and saying
Hmmm…. you smell funny.
That’s good, I like a girl who can make me laugh
Comment by sandman on 22 October 2008:

Comment by Radiation (Still AFC)
Bro I hate to spoil it on you but that aint gonna work unless you’ve got super tight body language. It’s not funny at all. Even a little freaky, try some of the stuff listed on this post before you start coming up with your own. Or the patented “what’s the time/how much are these shoes…” followed by “I’m just kidding I just wanted to come flirt with you.” this might work a little better.
Comment by Brett on 22 October 2008:

To a guy wearing a watch:

Girl: Excuse me, do you have the time?
Guy: Sure, do you have the energy?
Comment by Radiation(Still AFC) on 24 October 2008:

Thanx for the advice sandman, like my name says im still an AFC and only recently started with the whole C&F thing… just by the way the everyone C&F gives some dam good responses- if used correctly!
Comment by Doppelganger on 26 October 2008:

After some chatting

Her:”Hahaha, I’m inside your head”
You:”If you were inside my head you’d be kissing another girl right now. Don’t blame me. Blame my gender.”
Comment by Chew on 27 October 2008:

Hi im Chew 18 and do pick up lines always start a conversation? and i can flirt but when getting to the point of asking them for their number i get to nervous and choke up. any tips to keep calm?
Comment by Tim Lewis on 28 October 2008:

I’m no expert on girls (not yet i need practice), but there was one I liked so much that I allowed the nervous feeling to make me ‘drunk.’ I knew her anyway (she wasn’t a stranger) so i guess that made it easier.
Get into the mindset of her wanting to give you her number – i.e. she’s definitely not going to say ‘HOW DARE YOU ASK ME FOR MY NUMBER!! GO TO HELL!!’
Ask for email and then get her to write down the number also.
Make sure you have pen and paper
Just ask ‘do you have email?’
And ‘write your mobile number down as well’ (courtesy of David Deangelo) these are simplew sentences to say even when choked up
You don’t have to bow down on one knee for it
Comment by Kenneth Noisewater on 21 November 2008:

Say “Hi” to her (in a nice, suave way, so it looks like a pickup) then lean in close to her ear (as if to tell here a secret) and say “You’ve got something in your teeth.”

Then as she starts to slightly panic, just smile and give her a playful nudge.
Comment by helius on 25 November 2008:

i find it easier to get c&f when im ace to face wid d girl rather on the phone..its soo hard to figure out whatthe girl response isor what face she is making to procede to the next thing ,incase she dosent burst out laughting or anyting aftera comment. and for a begginer like me… i find it difficult to come up with resposes soo quick, and i sometimes assume what they are gona say.. an keep a comment ready.. and when i shoot outa line and they say something else…its screws up things and i cant get them to laugh. for eg
on an international call-
me-so what did u do on ur birthday
she-on i went for a movie “quantom of solace”,really loved it blah blah
me-ohh i loved it too, but over here they sencor everythin whata bummer, (and in all seriousness),do u know they even changed d name of the movie here so that it would do well to “condom of solace”

i expected her to say
she-really ???
me- YEA u wish, didnt u !!!!atleast now i know whats goin on thru ur perveted mind 24/7 .

but she didnt say “really ”
she went like in a seductivve way “uuummmmmm how original” ( no idea if she was being sarcastic or mayube tought if it was original )

so i didny know what to say… and i said “what, you dunt believe me “?? and then she changed the topic…

she was havin her dinner , and was wid friends, maybeshe could have been preoccoupied, but either ways…i had a few c&f comebacks ,but her responses were all different… luckily atleast she likes me and imnot screwing up things…..

so whatdo u think i did wrong ?? and what should be the solution to this ??phone conversations r a bit hard for me, and chatting dosent really bring out the impact ofthe joke or manifest the humour out…
Comment by SicilianStyle on 28 November 2008:

If a girl asks you, “What’s one word that describes yourself?” I respond with a big smile and say,”F***ing-Phenominal!”
Comment by Robby G on 18 December 2008:

@ Chew, you don’t always need pick up lines. Just be funny in a sarcastic way overall and if you get hints from her that she’s sorta into you, what’s the worst that can happen if you ask for her number? It’s not like you’re asking her to marry you. Just to hang out, right. So don’t worry about it and go for it.
Cheers!
Comment by j23 on 24 December 2008:

lol there are some great stuff here if u can fliter though the rude cocky stuff. If you want to take the edge off the cockiness USE THE WINK TECHNIQUE @ the end of your response. It will throw her into the “im busting your balls” catergory not “i’m trying to disrespect you”. Homies don’t get shook when the ladies start testing you, the bigger the biatch the easier they fall.

her: your not my type
me: HA! i just baught tickets to the ZOO to see your type…wink
(act like nothing phases you EVER! practise the nonchalance)
go get em tiger
Comment by Greg on 3 January 2009:

Here’s a good one. I was taking a group picture with my classmates. And this girl classmate says something.
Her: Guys, watch where you touch (She was referring that the guys better not touch her body in the group picture)
Me: Maybe we should be watching for you. Please Caroline… no touching below the waist

In this one I turned it around and made her the sexual fiend. She smiled and punched my shoulder.
Comment by spuddness on 3 January 2009:

I’m kinda new at this but it comes out of me some times. I payed 20 bucks to go see a play with a girl. ( i know ur thinking what a looser but wait,) later on I was in her apartment and this is how it went.

I go in for a kiss and she playfully pulls away so:

Me: listen I spent 20 bucks u either pay me back or I get a kiss, or both.
Her: gives me a peck on the lips
Me: What type of one dollar kiss was that ur gonna have to do better than that;)
She did and we started making out.
Comment by King J on 4 January 2009:

Here’s one I used skiing about two weeks ago.

I was with my brother, about ready to get on the lift, when I saw a hot ski attendant who struck my fancy. Now in order to get on ski lifts you have to show your ticket to the attendant. Ski resorts have gone high-tech and modern lift-tickets have bar codes on the ticket itself, so each attendant has a hand-held barcode reader that looks a bit like a gun.

I maneuvered myself into her line and said the following:

Me: So, you look like you play lasertag with that thing.
(This piques her interest and she proceeds to tell me her life lasertag story)
Her: Omg! I’m the best at lasertag! When I was a kid I was always the one who would shoot everyone else down. I’d be doing barrel rolls and…

At this point I knew she was interested so I just held up my hand, stopping her in mid-sentence.
Me: (With straight face but with a twinkle in my eye) Whatever. Look at all the people that are behind me. You’re supposed to be working.

Her mouth drops and she gets that “You did NOT just say that” look. I didn’t even keep talking to her. I just skiied forward, preparing to get on the lift.

Behind me, I hear her talking to my brother:

Her: “Are you his friend?”
My bro: “Worse. I’m his brother.”
Her: “Well do me a favor and hit him for me, okay?”

One of the best chair lift rides I’ve ever had up, and the next time I go through line I call her “Lazertag” and she gives me a HUGE smile, a punch on the arm and her digits.

Gotta love it!
Comment by bobby on 6 January 2009:

This past fall I used a pretty good one. I was hanging out with a bunch of friends and this girl was with us. I wasn’t interested in her but I still decided, why not practice some C&F on her. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but it critical of the guys in the group. She said something to the effect of “You guys are always so [something].”

To which I responded with a pretty straight face, “Well, if you don’t like it you might as well just get up and leave now.”

The guys in the room burst into laughter…she gasped, smiled and punched me in the shoulder. Every time I see her now, she comes over and starts hitting on me.

You have to be careful with that one though, make sure you have the right tone to your voice, else your comment will come off as sounding mean and not playful.
Comment by smitty on 15 January 2009:

a good way to bust a girls “balls” is when shes talkin to u interupt her and say you have something right here and point to a spot on your face (doesnt matter where
Comment by Ayinde on 16 January 2009:

I guess i just made this up right now.

Her: I’m going to bed now
Him: k, but when you dream of me try not to rape me.
her: haha, ill try.
Comment by yic17 on 18 January 2009:

dang .. this is amazing. I’ll definitely “steal” some for this Sunday. I’ll share when I can think of something.
Comment by yic17 on 18 January 2009:

so I talked to this promoter girl on Friday + exchanged numbers. today she called and asked me if I’m gonna be @ another event tonight. here’s what I did:

SHE: hey, are you gonna come tonight? I need people!
ME: you should’ve said you need ME.
SHE: haha, okay. so can I put you on my list?
ME: only as VIP.
SHE: haha okay, you got it!
ME: if I find out I’m not on VIP tonight, I’ll gonna find you and bite you hard!
SHE: haha, no worries!

I don’t think that’s very effective. it was okay. here are some other variations I am just thinking now …

SHE: hey, are you gonna come tonight? I need people!
ME: no babe, you don’t need people. you need ME but you’re just too shy to admit.

OR

SHE: so can I put you on my list?
ME: no babe, I’m already on another list. well, UNLESS you’re offering me something … SPECIAL.
Comment by Tim Lewis on 19 January 2009:

I haven’t, tried this one out, but I think it would be good for the meet up before a first date, especially if the woman is dressed nice
“Wow!! I haven’t seen a finer sight since I looked in the bathroom mirror this morning! Anyway let’s go to the caff and get some drinks…. etc
Comment by Adrian on 22 January 2009:

Ok this happened 2 me yesterday at school.

Teacher: Adrian give me your phone you know your not supposed to have it out at school.(takes phone)

Me: Miss can you put your phone number in there while you have it.

Everybody started laughing after this I guess its ok and plus the teacher kind of gave me a smile at the end of class and yea she is a good looking teacher.
Comment by NESiEj on 26 January 2009:

ME: What’s your name?
HIM: Johnathan, whats yours?

ME: My friend’s call me NESiE, but you can call me tonight around 7 O’clock.
Comment by John on 26 January 2009:

Nice one :

You´re at the disco or a dancing bar and ask her :

Me : Do you dance?

Her : Nop…

Me : Ahhh, thanks (sound relief)…you looked a lot better from far.

Maybe she won´t smile but you won´t make an ass outa yourself
Comment by El Director on 26 January 2009:

(If the girl is doting or lost in thought)

Me: Your thinking about me arent you?
Comment by Doppelganger on 31 January 2009:

I just wanted to point out that something can be really funny when it is spontaneous. In other words, it’s ok to use jokes and c&f phrases, dialogues, routines you read here, but it’s really great to start coming up with funny things to say yourself, the moment you speak with a woman. Basically, I’m talking about situational humor.
Is it hard to develop? Well, it needs practice as everything in this world. You can learn the basics and the formula, but try to apply it and you’re bound to make some mistakes. But keep practicing and eventually the akward silence will come not because you don’t have something to say, but because ideas just storm into your brain and you can’t decide what idea/c&f thing to say to choose.

situation:
her – this is a pic of me being a baby. Don’t know who the guy with the mustache is.
me – probably a child molester.

that exact moment she cracked up. But if I had just learned it and trying to find the right opportunity to say it, chances are
a) I’d miss many more situational humor triggers
b) this would sound akward (child molester, really?!)
Comment by Adrian on 31 January 2009:

Just one of the lines my cousin and I use on girls.

Her: (comes up out of no where)
Hey do you remember me from the other day?

Me: Ummm not really.

Her: It’s me Sandra.

Me: Ohh hi Sandra sorry I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.

Hahaha it depends who you use it on but can sometimes get a laugh or smile.

Will put more as soon as I remember more.
Comment by Money on 1 February 2009:

King J, niiice.
Comment by patman on 1 February 2009:

Her: Why can’t I __________.
Me: (playful) Cause you’re not hot enough…
Comment by Indiana University on 13 February 2009:

Scenario: Two or more Girls in a group

I approach the one I like and say

Me: Don’t tell your friend, but she has the most Beautiful (fill in, ex. eyes.)

Give her a second to respond, which will usually be about herself wondering why you didn’t complement her.

Me: You know whats crazy about the whole situation though? She has these georgous eyes and all I can think about is you.

Gets em’ everytime, and be creative n enjoy!!
Comment by datingexpert on 18 February 2009:

at a concert:

her: hi (she is smoking)
me: hi, sorry I don´t smoke (using bodylanguage showing rejection,grin)
her: haha I´ll stop doing it just for you
Comment by SAGE on 22 February 2009:

With all due resecpt dude thats some corny shit
Comment by Adrian on 23 February 2009:

Yea the smoking one was shit….
Comment by Tim Lewis on 23 February 2009:

Yeah, it’s almost as corny as going up to a really hot woman and exclaiming – Wow!! You’re smoking!! I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.
Comment by da mac on 24 February 2009:

her:i have a boyfriend
me: good.
her:what??
me:now i don’t have to worry about you coming on to me.
Comment by Triston on 26 February 2009:

What a menagerie of mediocre, retardation.

I simply confidently ask a woman if she’d like to leave with me, right now. Has never failed.
Comment by Moneyman on 28 February 2009:

if u want to keep ur beautiful figure.. then dont flirt with me.. cuz i wayy too sweet
Comment by gaurav on 4 March 2009:

she:(showed u a pic of her in which shes standing beside a x-mas tree or something like that, taller then her)
she: hows the pic???
me: (in a serious tone)don’t u think that the tree has it all to be a super model…(pause) even the height.[:P]
Comment by MattD on 5 March 2009:

Heres a common one you can use in a college/university situation when she asks your major.Instead of being boring and saying”busniess” or “environmental sciences” you can say:

her:so whats your major?

“glad you asked…its actually the newest major at the school….lion taming ( smile a lil bit )

her: ha oh really?

me: ya but like I said its brand new.I mean we dont even have a real lion yet, so we just tie up one of the students in the class and practice on him…yup, its about the only way you can whip someone whose tied up without it being perverted or kinky.”

its get them laughin and you can go all over the place with this one…eventually u can tell them what it really is, but just have fun before you do.
Comment by Benjamin on 7 March 2009:

Here are a few recent situations:

Her: How old are you?
Me: Irrelevant.
Her: No, come on, just tell me.
Me: Why? Are you gonna look up X-year old Benjamins in the phonebook? Damn stalkers!
Her: You know you’re quite funny.
Me: I can tell by the huge crush you’re developing. *pats head*
Her: Just tell me your age!
Me: Fine, I’m 4. But don’t tell my boss or I’ll lose my stripping job.
Her: *giggle & a sigh* What am I gonna do with you?
Me: I’m guessing sooner or later you’ll kidnap me and tie me to your bed.

Me: Don’t look now, but there are 4 guys looking at you.
Her: *being all bratty and cocky* Yeah, happens a lot.
Me: *I slowly lean in and take a big whiff of her* Oh, never mind, I found the cause.
Her: *girl-punch during a giggle*
Me: *I smell the spot where she punched me and make a droopy face* Damn it, now both of us need to shower. But no peeking!

The following one was used to really escalate it after you’ve got some rapport with the girl. I was in a club, explaining about the tropical country I grew up in after she asked. (though you can say it’s where you went recently, as well)
Me: It’s amazing over there… sunny beaches with fine sand, submersed in wildlife and fauna…
The nighttime’s the best… Everybody heads over the the clubs district and the beaches become deserted…Can you imagine *I take hold of her hand. Make sure you keep eye contact*, we’re underneath the starry sky, you can hear the rushing sea and the fizz of the champagne glass in your hand… no one in sight but me. It’s almost too warm for clothes … I lean in *lean in slowly at this point* and whisper *put your arm on the small of her back (with a bit of a manly touch) and whisper in her ear* “I’ll be right back.”

At that point simply break contact, get up and turn around. Head over to the dance floor or bar, let her boil in her unleashed fantasy for 10min (or even wait until she comes to you), then when you meet again, her eyes will be twinkling. Guaranteed.
Comment by Adrian on 7 March 2009:

(Girl sits down and notices there was something on the chair)

Her: Ohh damn I got something on my butt!

Me: Yeah I know, I guess my eyes aren’t the only ones on it

(Talking about going on vacation and places to visit)

Her: I’m not sure where I want to go for spring break. I was thinking maybe the Virgin Islands.

Me: Yeah I once went to the Virgin Islands. Now they’re called The Islands.

(During a lapdance, foreplay, grinding etc.)

Her: Yeah you like that huh?

Me: I wouldn’t go there if I was you. I once walked down the street with a massive erection and there was no survivors.
Comment by Catman on 9 March 2009:

Her: [insert any compliment. The more complimentary the better. If she looking for a reciprocal compliment, even better.]

Me: I know. [Remember to smile. Avoid arrogance.]
Comment by Doppelganger on 12 March 2009:

I just used it on a female friend of mine, but you can try it out in the dating scene if you want to

Me – [Name], are you gay?
Her – No, why?!
Me – Well, you have some.. feminine traits.

where ..= very small pause (1 sec)
Comment by Richard on 18 March 2009:

(I’ve invited a girl home to me to watch a movie. Things happens).

Me: Geez, this movie got everything, guns and blood and funny comments and good music and good actors. And Hitmans, And I just lay down here with my arm around this beuty like yourself? Geez I am one hell of a lucky guy. *Looks on here and smiles, a charming smile, but not trying to hit on her*

Her: Oh yeah, you mind me taking on my hoody, is very cold. *Smiles but looks troubled*

Me: No problem, we do like this ! *Lays arm around her, and takes the blanket that is next to me and wraps us both up* Better huh?

Her: Oh yeah *Allmost purrs like a kitten with her head on my upperbody*

—-

After that, it just continced. Until some nice sex ^^ Btw, this was a girl I’ve knewn for 2 days. Hehe, -| Creed
Comment by Matty on 21 March 2009:

This one worked a charm for me lol
i was sittin at a table with this woemn who was very snobby so to say, gawjuss thoe, she sat next to me, an alittlw later i accidently knocked er foot, she turns around an says ‘are u playing footsi with me’
everyone on the table looked at me, i calmy an cockily said, ‘why did you like it’ the table burst into a laff, an the look on the womens face was priceless…an from there i tryed my moves an succeeded haha
Comment by JD on 21 March 2009:

Actually I’n me new to c&f but I see it’s pretty close to my natural style. One I used recently.

Her: makes a cocky comment on something I said.
Me: Wow, you look kinda of nice, but you’re no way beautiful enough to be that cocky!

She walked away semi-upset just to come back about 15 minutes later to ask for my phone number.
Comment by osvaldo on 22 March 2009:

great stuff guys am getting it… and put me on the road to start use tit, thanks…
Comment by knuckles on 22 March 2009:

HIM:hey, you know you sorta remind me of my dog
HER:(usually a punch in the arm)
HIM:hey,I loOOOVVVEEE my dog
Comment by killah ink on 25 March 2009:

hi guys,this is very interesting,actually im new to this

i dont know if you guys consider the following as cocky and funny too

HER:Hi there
Me:hi,are you smiling at me or am i smiling at you?
HER:she smiles and says, i dont know

OR

ME:starring at her
HER:why?anything wrong?
ME:hmm,did it hurt?
HER:whats that?
ME:when you fel from heaven
Comment by Doppelganger on 5 April 2009:

I, personally, wouldn’t use them. They sound too… cheesy/sweet for me. Like stating to her “you’re the trophy and I’m melting right now”
Since you’re new to this though, congrats on trying to come up with some. Practice is everything, so keep posting. And try them on girls. Else they’re useless, lol.

Now this one is extreme. It’s too cocky but it was funny, because we had both watched an mtv spoof mocking house md and grey’s anatomy.

Me: You’re not a doctor, you’re a whore.
She burst out laughing.

Still, I don’t think it’s good when you first meet someone. But it was an extreme cocky, plus funny, thing to say.
Comment by Z on 7 April 2009:

Oh good god, killah ink NEVER use the did it hurt line, EVERY GIRL HAS HEARD IT BEFORE. It is not new and original and they WILL laugh at you.

Also, there is a lot of great stuff on here, but some people don’t seem to understand what cocky funny is. YOU ARE NOT INSULTING THEM. Stuff like
“me: your arms are hairy
her: (laugh)
me: you should shave them just like you shave your legs
you do shave your legs dont you?”

What does that accomplish? It displays no value and is blatantly making the girl feel self-conscious about herself. There is no cockiness here AT ALL. Nor is it funny. A response to this will be an “um… okay…” not laughter. C&F should generate laughter and make you seem confident at the same time.

Also, stuff like this:
“me: you know, it should be illegal to be pretty like you
she: why /what?
me: I would have accident, if I see you driving next to me. Can’t take my eyes of you!”

“ME:starring at her
HER:why?anything wrong?
ME:hmm,did it hurt?
HER:whats that?
ME:when you fel from heaven”

No. Just no. Now you’re putting her on a pedestal, making her the prize. The ENTIRE purpose of C&F is making YOURSELF the prize WHILE making her laugh. Positive emotions. These lines evoke positive emotions, but don’t make you look good. Oh, and they’re cheesy as hell. Any attractive girl will laugh AT YOU for saying crap like this because she’s heard it from EVERY OTHER chode. DON’T DO THIS. EVER.

Summary:
C&F is not insulting them
C&F is not putting them on a pedestal
C&F is not using cheesy lines

The purpose is to make her laugh by making yourself seem just slightly overconfident.

Sorry, but that really had to be cleared up…
Comment by Dale on 9 April 2009:

When you go in a store and write a check they always ask for your phone number to write on the check (this obviously does not work if your number is already printed on the check although you could use some variations in that case) When they ask for your number just smile and say “It won’t do you any good I already have a girlfriend.” You can of course say something afterward to let them know you don’t really have a girlfriend and it IS ok for them to call you
Comment by alex on 10 April 2009:

hey
ok ive tried a bunch of theese lines on girls, but sometimes they will just stare at me and are like…what??!?!
so that ruins the whole C&F mood, and I dont know what to say when they react that way…
Comment by sobonito on 12 April 2009:

I’m in college and during one of my classes my friend goes:

-”you know, you shouldn’t really be texting during class”(i was on my phone)
(me)- “i’m sorry mommy”
- “haha..i’m not your mommy”
(me)- “good. ’cause i would go to hell for thinking the stuff i was thinking about you if you were my mommy.”

its not really cocky, but it did have her laughing
Comment by Dale on 13 April 2009:

To Alex…when that happens to you. Say either…Ok, that sounded ALOT better in my head. (and smile big) or something like. “See, I told my friend thta would never work.
Comment by Erick on 15 April 2009:

This is the heaven of pickup lines for a rookie like me. I’m def gonna try a few listed here! Thanks everyone!
Comment by PootangMan on 20 April 2009:

Me: You know what would look nice on you?
She: What?
Me: My balls, in your mouth
Comment by John on 21 April 2009:

Some lines I use

Me: Makes a joke*
Her: Punches arm
Me: I’m sorry! Did I break your hand with my rock hard body?

Me: We should study sometimes
Her: I’m not much of a study group person, its distracting
Me: Looks at her directly* Then you wouldn’t want to study with me then

Me: Look at those fireworks (as I say this I throw my arms in the air and then slowly and gently put my arm on her shoulders)

When you walk around be sure to stick your chest out and if a girl glaces your way be sure to stare until she looks eye contact. I immediately stop during this situation. If she looks again I would walk over and say Hi or depending on the situation “Yeah I get that all the time” (assuming they’re blushing)
Comment by Tazer on 21 April 2009:

Her(sick at the time): I hope I don’t give you my cold./I hope I don’t pass it on to you/etc.
Me: I knew it. You just want to give me the plague. And then when I’m weakened you can have your way with me. I got you figured out(nodding with head cocked at an angle and eye contact).

Me:(blah blah blah about your day and what you got done)And how is your day shaping up?
Her: I’ve gotten a lot done today(blah blah blah).
Me: So you did (blah blah blah). Do I LOOK like I have a COOKIE
for you? Ah, instead you’ll probably ask me to give you one of my amazing, stress-relieving back massages. In that case… I’ll think about it and get back to you tomorrow.(grin and if she grins back tug her shoulder to turn around so you can massage her)
Comment by mikole on 28 April 2009:

GODAMN! You’re all idiots if you think this really works on girls…yeah on sluts maybe…but the type of woman one would like to marry? hell no!…these are just stupid, lame, lines that dont do anything for me and doubt will for any woman with brains in her head…so go ahead and use these lines, they will get you all the sluts you want and all the stds they carry.
Comment by Dale on 29 April 2009:

So what exactly is worng with “When you go in a store and write a check they always ask for your phone number to write on the check (this obviously does not work if your number is already printed on the check although you could use some variations in that case) When they ask for your number just smile and say “It won’t do you any good I already have a girlfriend.” You can of course say something afterward to let them know you don’t really have a girlfriend and it IS ok for them to call you”
Comment by Dale on 29 April 2009:

Besides mikole, maybe this is how we weed out the sluts from the girls we would consider marriage material. If SOME of this stuff works on them we know we can cross them off our list …and put them on a whole ‘nother list entirely. lol
Comment by kevin on 29 April 2009:

Hey guys I need some help; there is this girl in my chemistry class pretty hot I might add and she keeps looking with one of those I want you type looks. What should I say to her that will get things movin along?

-Thanks
Comment by Adrian on 30 April 2009:

@ kevin……..whenever u c that she’s lookin at u walk up 2 her n say, “Yea I kno I’m good lookin n I c that look in ur eye I don’t blame u….I only masturbate 2 pictures of myself” either that or sing that pitbull song 2 her “I know you want me” lol
Comment by Pablo on 6 May 2009:

Hey guys this is my two cents on the subject. Here is a situation I used several time in a cocky and funny way when a girl ask me if I’m single or not…

Remember is not what you say to her but actually the way you say it.

In a conversation that is going well:

She: do you have a girlfiend?
Me: No…. (dramatic pause) Just a boyfriend (With a serious face)
She: laughing a bit
She: No, really I’m serious
Me: (With a smile) Me too… ok ok you got me, I’ve been dating 5 girls, but don’t blame me, blame them; they couldn’t resist me…

Thanks
Pablo
Comment by Pablo on 7 May 2009:

Here are some sms i sent through my cell to some chicks I met.

Situation 1)
I met a girl and asked for his cell phone number, and a later on I sent her a sms like this:
Me: This is your lucky day, you’ re gonna start hanging around important people

Situation 2)
After I met a girl and knew her and hanged out for a while I sent an sms like this:
Me: If I have any spare time on Sunday I’ll perhaps let you see me… But promise you won’t harass me

Thanks
Pablo
Comment by Jones on 12 May 2009:

Overall good comments here but what’s up with some of the female comments? Please add some valuable content to this thread before writing some useless “That-wouldn’t-work-on-me-anyway-BS”. You must be jealous because nobody ever hits on you anyway…

More to the point:
A little longer into the conversation in a bar/club/party, when she is already interested in you and is starting to become impatient because you won’t get closer with her physically, say first seriously, then sarcastically at towards the end:
“You are…three drinks away from me.” (can be amplified by taking a step towards her right before saying “three”)

This shows that you know she wants you, that you’re not needy but at the same time you are considering getting closer.
Comment by JTD on 12 May 2009:

Used this the other night in NYC-

Texted a girl that i met in college asked her to come meet up with me and some people downtown and she lives all the way uptown and couldn’t find any friends to go with her.

After some bullshitting about how i’ll make it worth her night and teaseing her

Her: “I scared to take the subway by myself, I might get raped”
Me: “You think way to highly of yourself”
Her: “Oh come on I’m hot and tiny, I could be taken advantage of”
Me: “So either way the night will get with you getting taken advantage of, so you should come down anyway”

She never came but i got a dirty picture in my inbox after i told her I had to go cuz some hotties were checking me out.
Comment by Oj on 12 May 2009:

There is one all y’all can use when u meet a girl.

Her: hi(puts her hand out so she can shake it)
You: (shake her hand and bring It like your going to kiss it and just as about your going to kiss it, kiss your own hand)

It works every time. Trust me
Comment by The_Seducer on 25 May 2009:

Oh, and guyz, always remember:

It’s the character. It’s not WHAT you say. You can say anything. It’s HOW you say it.

Now, onto THE line (lol):

{You are looking at her body, boobs… and then she says:)
- What are you doing?!
- Heyyyyyy, I’m not finished yet! Then look at her ass, boobs, whateva!! Just don’t forget to look at HER EYES when u FINISH and move on to the next topic OR………

Move phisically! (You’ve already shown that You are a MAN!) Not any other man that when she asks: ‘what the fuukkkk are you doing?!’, wusses out and either says: ‘nothing’, or ‘I’m sorry’. GET IT, boyzzzzzzz?! It’s a FUCKING test (almost LITERALLY….mmmmm)…
Comment by B on 27 May 2009:

If she gives you a compliment.

You: Look I know how you women are: First a little compliment, then phone number, then back to your place to check out your stereo…I’m not like that!

Check out my website for more cocky & funny lines!
Comment by Mikewrecked on 11 June 2009:

In response to the “did it hurt when you fell from heaven” one:

I had a guy use that on a girl i was sitting next to. He was standing behind her when he said it. this is how it went:

Guy: Did it hurt?
Girl: what?
Guy: When you fell from heaven?

i jumped in before she could with:

Me: I’m sure it did, she obviously fell on her face

she couldn’t believe it. it struck up quite some playful banter back and forth and took her home that night. its now turned into booty calls as long as i keep her on her toes and make sure she knows she’s there for me and not the other way around.

keep ‘em comin guys

mikewrecked
Comment by Greg on 11 June 2009:

Ok I guess I have a few. One I got from a cartoon called animanicacs.

1. (when she knows you like to kid)
Me: you know what I like about you.
Her: What?
Me: (smiling very nicely) absolutely nothing.

2. Me: I love you… like a fat kid… loves exercise.

3. (if she ever has trouble hearing you)
Her: What?
Me: (roll eyes) Somebody get this girl a Q-tip

4. (I know fart jokes are lame but if she ever sits in a seat that makes a (whoopie cushion sound)
Her: (sits)
Me: (stare at her shocked and say) Oh… thats gross!!! ::you can bust on her all night about that one::
Comment by yellow on 22 June 2009:

hey guys, i got a good 1.

walk up to a drop dead gorgeous girl in a bar.
He- “hi”
no response from her.
He- “are you a lesbian?”
She- “excuse me?!” (annoyed)
He- “i’m just assuming that ur a lesbian because if u were’nt, u probably wouldn’t be able to resist me!”
Comment by Maxitalian on 8 July 2009:

Hi guys, I give my small contribution to this site,
besides I feel I have to, after all this time I’m only reading some of your very useful lines!

So, normally on the first dates (with more hot ladies it works better) when I am in a bar that I have chosen for having a cup of green tea (De Angelo quote:) at a certain point she will always ask me “where is the toilet”.
Then with a serious face I tell her: “Well, walk out the entrance of the bar, cross the street, turn left and there you find it!” as you point there with your finger.
She will first seriously listen at you and when she realises what you just said is absurd, she will have a good laugh and at this point you can also laugh or smile to her!

It almost always works. You brake the ice, show confidence, playful character and overall that you get it

Comments welcome! Ciao!
Comment by Dale on 9 July 2009:

Or you could just direct them back to the toilet at YOUR place
Comment by tom on 21 July 2009:

Me: (wave at bartender)
Her: Hi, what can I get you
Me: I like your face
Her: (laughs or says thank you)
Me: Now let me make out with it

I used this one on a girl I met who was bartending one night. It was the best pickup I ever had. We went back to my place after closing, and well, you can just guess what happenend.
Comment by Dan on 30 July 2009:

(shes complaining about any guy)
Me: but girls can get guys to do whatever they want.. all they have to do is go like this “mime squeezing boobs together” im soooorrry…
off FRIENDS

(she complains about work, etc.)
Me: tbh i don’t know how you get any work done with those.. i mean if i were a girl id be too busy staring down all the time..
off FRIENDS

(guy refuses something)
Me: ok do you reckon he’s gay or straight because one of us is going to have to start flirting
Her: (usually) id say gay (laughing)..
Me: (goes up to guy) omg i love your shirt (exaggerated campness)
off FRIENDS

these lines only work if shes seen friends, but they are hilarious.

(guy refuses something, im with a group of girls)
Me: ok someone’s going to have to take one for the team and take their shirt off
MYSELF

(shes sucking on icecream, etc.)
Me: are you enjoying that? (she nods.. keep looking at her while grinning..) ..mmmmmmmm(yummy noise) XD

this one’s once you know her
(you have your arm around her while sitting down)
Me: im not going to lie to you “her name”… im staring at your tits (in a casual as possible voice – importantly dont actually stare at her tits, you’re PRETENDING to have a dirty mind)
Comment by Owen on 3 August 2009:

Does any one know a C&F email to get a girls attention?
Comment by Ricky on 4 August 2009:

You want cocky and funny.
Pick up some from the “Friends” movie and pay attention on Chandler. You`ll get some great ideas.

Her: “Oh, i really love babies”.
You: “Well, we can`t do it now i have to get up early in the morning”.
Comment by Sev on 25 August 2009:

You can approach 2 girls on the street with this:

Hey guys, do you like getting compliments from strangers on the street?

90 percent of the time they will say yes, and then you go:
Great, me to, you can start, compliment me!
If they can’t say anything say to them: wow you are not really creative, and they’ll try to reedeem themselves and start a conversation.
If they say anything about you looks or your clothes or personality then say:
Whoah, take it easy, that won’t get you anywhere, I’m not that kind of guy.
When it’s your turn to compliment them, just say: I wanted to say something good about you but I got a bad first impression because you where just siting here starring, practically drooling over me and didn’t have the guts to approach me and say hi.
Does this happen often with you, or you just cant control it around guys like me?
Comment by FEMALE on 2 September 2009:

Some of this stuff is golden!! My boyfriend is a PUA (well I should say he WAS a PUA because I’m hoping he isn’t actively practicing this anymore LOL). He even used to teach classes. He used quite a bit of material on me at the beginning and I must admit the uniqueness of having a guy come up to you and not just throw some typical, cheesy pick-up lines at you is refreshing and extremely intriguing. When he told me about all this PUA stuff I actually found it really interesting. Unfortunately however, he still refuses to reveal all his techniques to me because he says I know too much already (LOL).

He did tell me, though, that I threw him a lot of curve balls and that a lot of my responses to lines that he used on a lot of girls before me were not typical at all so he had to alter and adjust his game accordingly. So you can’t expect all women to respond the same to what you say. Some of these “lines” require women to respond just the way you want them to in order for it to pan out successfully but sometimes that just doesn’t happen. The most important thing is to just be confident in yourself and educate yourself on the CONCEPTS and THEORIES behind the material. It’s important to be able to be flexible and not just attempt to recite lines that you’ve merely memorized. After that it will just come naturally.

And to say this stuff only works on trashy sluts is stupid. It is just applying the knowledge of psychology into real life situations. This whole “cocky comedy” stuff is simply playful bantering.. every woman loves a confident, funny guy. Plus, these are just openers that allow you to break the ice in a new and interesting way.

Game, when applied correctly, can benefit everyone. It gives guys who would otherwise be shy confidence and it gives girls a chance to get to know a guy they might not generally find themselves talking to. Everyone deserves to be happy and everyone deserves a chance at love! Just don’t abuse the system.
Comment by D4v1dM4nn on 9 September 2009:

Nice lines on here… but here are a few of my own that I personally love.

(if she starts singing to a song in my car)
“You know – this song is kinda annoying as it is – but with you singing it – shit.. you almost make the original singer sound good”

(or)

When she starts pouting about something.
“oh poor baby, you’ve been whining to get your way since you were two.. did it ever work then??”

(or)

When she complains about something I’m doing.

“Well then you might just want to leave – cuz I do it a lot”.

(or)

When she kisses me a lot.

“Wow, you must really like me – you sure do kiss me a lot”

(or)

When she says something stupid say:

“Wow. that’s the blond in you coming out – isn’t it”
(if she happens to be a dirty blond and replies “actually i’m brunette or dirty blond” – THIS IS AWESOME STUFF… reply “Oh you ARE a *DIRTY* blond, aren’t you” (implying sexual sarcasm here with a smile). You will usually get a punch in the arm and in which case you can spank her ass.

(or)

I know this one may seem a little risky… but if the girl is thin (or relatively thin) then it will work as long as you keep a somewhat LIGHT attitude about you.)

When she complains about feeling fat earlier on in the day or something…. and you go out to dinner and she orders a big meal (or she talks about what she ate previously)… comment “wow.. fatty” in a sarcastic way. Works wonders.. she’ll usually pretend to get upset and hit you while laughing.. in which case you can say “I thought you were on Jenny Craig” and smile.
-shit works no lie-

(or)
LAST ONE FOR NOW:

She complains about something (maybe her “bad hair day” or such).. you can commenton how embarrassed you are to be seen with her in public and how “everyone is looking at her”. GOOD SHIT!
Comment by popo on 14 September 2009:

I m new to Cocky funny…but i knw u guys will adjust…

Her: Why are u looking so dull?
Me: So, after whole days work do u think I will look like Brad Pitt.
Comment by dudeness on 19 September 2009:

ok girl askes wht your deepest darkest secret is. and you tell her its that you CAN keep a secret. then she says thats lame. then you say “dont worry i wont tell anyone you called me lame
Comment by CORE! on 21 September 2009:

ME: do you have a pen?
HER:theres two replies No or Yes,
NO- ME”great, now i will never be able to know to spell you name on my valentine’s day card”
YES- ME:depends on what comes to mind, or why you need one

Just the other day at lunch in highschool,a girl and her friend walk up to me, and one of the girls run away, one of the girls comes and leans on my shoulders and begins to breath hard. i had many things to say, but this is what came to mind:

ME: Whats wrong?
HER: tired
ME:yeah i can tell, almost fell on me
HER:NO!(expectded response)
ME: its okay if you wanna kiss me just say so
Her:(she laughs her ass off)
ME: what was with you friend?
HER: she likes you
ME: apparently you love me if you are still here
HER: Maybe

Also in one of my classes i always use this one:
HER:(she would mumble something to her self)
ME: hows it going today schizo?(schizophrenic)
HER: what did you call me?
Me:Crazy
Her:i am not crazy you think i am crazy(hitting me in my arm)
My friend:(wingman needed, for deeper effect)we dont think, WE KNOW
ME: i would sing the Gnrals Barkley song- CRAZY,
“this girl is CRAAZAAY,this girl is craaazaaay, JUST LIKE YOU”
HER: she dies from laughter

The next day with the same girl
HER:what are you doing?
ME: making a list of why your crazy
Her: dont do that *in a serious tone* (hitting me in my arm)
ME: i am adding that to the list, hitting people for no reason
HER: she reaches over and hits me again.

i have done this stuff without knowing,the key to it is to never lose eye contact, only when doing a sarcastic line or so, depends when you do it. GL
Comment by craig on 24 September 2009:

Those last two were really lame, just to let you guys know. Don’t post anything that you’d never use in an actual situation.
Comment by Ernesto on 30 September 2009:

i got one.

girls like random shit ,so if u wanna talk to a random girl say this:
how much does a polar bear weigh?
she: mmm i dont know
me: enough to break the ice, hello my name is…
Comment by Savage on 5 October 2009:

If your ever in a party situation and you spark up a conversation with a girl, roll with this one.

You: Soooo… who exactly invited you here? (Be sure to raise an eyebrow, squint and grin, being friendly but showing doubt in her ability to attend somethin like this and your obvious acceptance into the party)

Her: I’m friends with the guy who owns the house (Probably in a matter of fact tone and a smirk)

You: Well pardon me, some of us earn our places, not all of us are so orally persuasive (This is C&F and a neg that can even lead to a shit test later)

Shit test

Her: I bet you would looove to see how I got in here

You: Sorry hun, left my wallet in the car

If you carry yourself with an air of arrogance and confidence, she will seek your approval. Cat and string theory yall.
Comment by Dale on 7 October 2009:

Good one Ernesto.
Comment by Dan on 19 October 2009:

Passed by two girls at a party and overheard their conversation.
One of them was telling the other about a cool guy she had met, but now can’t remember his name, so I turned back and leaned in as I was passing by and said “GoSH!!! Its NOT that hard *looking disappointed at the girl* My name is Dan! And this the last time I will repeat it”
Comment by John Murray on 20 October 2009:

Uhh ok this one is pushing boundaries but she loved it!

(After she’s pulled a hair out my head and put it on her shoulder)

Her: See now if I get murdered tonight you’ll be the prime suspect cos your DNA is on me with this hair.

Me: I think it will be the fact that you’ll be full of my semen that will be my main downfall.
Comment by cowboy on 21 October 2009:

I have a VERY CRUCIAL question regarding C&F comments…

Im new to this concept of c&f. Now i’ve begun practising it with some girls who are friends of mine. The thing is : besides the fact that its tough to find some good matter to say (doesnt come naturally), it sounds sort of jerk-ish even if ive managed to make something up. No matter HOW i alter the way i say it, be it with a serious stern face or with a smirk or…. anything really, it seems to them that im just trying to act cool or saying stuff to make them laugh… The same happens when im chatting with them online… Im not saying that it makes a bad impression on them… just that overall it only looks like im using some “friendly” humour, as though im cracking a P.J. or something… if you know what i mean.
Ive already given a lot of thought on how to make c&f work the way it should, like altering my body language and stuff… but it also seems your past impressions on the gals also play a major role.
If anyone has any suggestions on how to make it really work plz plz plz plz leave a comment on this thread… or you could email me on dudeag@yahoo.in…
Im sure many of u guyz must have gone thru this phase at some point in the beginning
Comment by Ryan on 23 October 2009:

Okay so I used this on a girl this week and wrote about it in more detail on my blog. There was a girl sitting next to me reading and I said, “Stop that, it’s really distracting.”

She said, “What? What’s distracting?”

I replied with, “Your reading, I saw you reading, and you looked so enthralled that I had to know what that book is about.”

She smiled and told me all about the book. I like it because it led right into a natural conversation.
Comment by Mapper on 26 October 2009:

Her: (Singing or humming a song)
You: (acting interested) who sings that originally?
Her: Responds with band/artist name
You: Ah yeah… let’s keep it that way shall we? (with cheeky face)
Comment by Riddlar on 2 November 2009:

Hey guys this is Great stuff…. I need a little help with this situation: Lets see how many great minds are here!!!!!

Ive met this girl 2 times. First time didnt talk to her much cuz i thought she was a dyke (long story) 2nd time was at a bar we talked a little bit but the music was so loud i couldnt here my self think. I heard from her friend that she likes me…. now i dont have her number or anything, but guess what i tracked her down on facebook (thats whats up haha) yeah i know its lame but w/e what do i have to lose, ive been looking for a good C&F first message to send her, She is super shy so more funny and less cocky whould be perfect!

Any help is appreciated, thanks guys!
Comment by kenny on 2 November 2009:

do you all ways go arround seducing guys with this (wait for two seconds)then say i mean your cat walk,am not seduced at all, girl you need to walk on your waist movement, before i can consider you in my world
Comment by hnh07h on 3 November 2009:

You want to taste something good my mom did ?
Comment by Aaron on 7 November 2009:

You: Do anything interesting this weekend
Her: Yeah I blah blah blah (Cut her off)
You: I said interesting.
Comment by cockUm on 11 November 2009:

Here is a great way to open with any beautiful woman.
You: Hey I need a female opinion on something
Her: Stops in her tracks and is curious
You: I have a friend who is talking to this girl who is taller than him. He is only like 5″2 and she is about 5″11. She tells him that she doesn’t know if she can continue to date him because he is shorter than her. They have went out a couple of times already. Is there anything my friend can say to get past this?
Her: She will laugh and tell you her opinion.
You later: Would you date a guy that is shorter than you?

This has been tested over 10 times and has always got a laugh plus you can transition after you have opened.
Comment by Levi on 12 November 2009:

Ha so what do i with this one girl.

Me: What’s Up?
Her: About to go play pool at Casey’s house. You?
Me: Ha well now i just feel bad for him.
Her: Whys that exactly?
Me: Ha cause your gonna be there.
Her: Well fuck you then.
Me: Well thats kind of aggressive.
Her: Well your kind of a dick.

haha where exactly am i supposed to go from there?
Comment by Levi on 12 November 2009:

alright to finish that convo above.

Me: Ha i think thats one of my more redeeming qualities actually.
Her. Ok.

Did i do something wrong or is she just uninterested? I also havea bit of a history with her.
Comment by Jack on 15 November 2009:

Many of the C&F examples on here are brilliant. However, some people are missing the whole concept. The idea behind Cocky Comedy is increasing YOUR value.
“Z” explained it perfectly. You should all read his comment. The date of submission for his comment is 7 April 2009. So scroll up NOW.

AN example that I came up with and used during class hours:

Her: Can I please have a paper?
Me: Look, if you wanna tell me how much you love me, just SAY it. You don’t have to write it down. We’re both adults, and you can be honest with me. (Said Lightheartedly with *Sincere* eyes.)

She REALLy enjoyed that one.
Btw, I got the “We’re both adults, and you can be honest with me” from one of David D’s Cocky Funny examples. It’s a great addition!!
Comment by Son on 17 November 2009:

she will be dancing close to me in a bar or club and i will tap her on the shoulder, tell her shes in my dancing space and push her away
Comment by Dale on 18 November 2009:

Wow! son…maybe after you have knocked her over you can kick her around the dance floor while you are at it.

Are These Your Favorite Cocky and Funny Lines?

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