Are These Your Favorite Cocky and Funny Lines?
A beautiful thing about David Deangelo’s Cocky Comedy program is the fact that it gives you the formula for generating your own cocky and funny lines, and you can see it used properly by the guys that get results. Before I ask you for your FAVORITE COCKY AND FUNNY LINES, here is my disclaimer:
I’d like to break down a common notion that’s tossed throughout the community often. That is that you say cocky and funny lines and you get a certain response - attraction. Some men that are new to the concept of cocky and funny tend to use it ALL the time, never allowing the conversation to mature, gain rapport and are always staying on the superficial level of cocky and funny. DON’T LET THIS BE YOU.
A pure cocky and funny attitude is UNHEALTHY, and should not be used. David Deangelo has never supported this type of behavior. Guys that are insecure who have finally found this ‘holy grail’ tend to keep using it because they like the reactions the women are sending back. You need to sprinkle this formula in with your normal vibing, and rapport, just like you would a spice for a meal. Too much spice ruins the meal, too little and you can’t taste a thing.
I’ve noticed for myself as I’ve used the concept of cocky and funny, that I OVERDID it to begin with. I totally went hell-bent on cocky and funny lines, like, “Oh you love me” or the typical David Deangelo line “I’m glad you like it”. Yawn.
Let’s be proactive in using cocky and funny the RIGHT way.
My friend Stephen Nash broke it down when I had one-on-one coaching with him while visiting New York City. He basically told me,
“The brilliance of cocky and funny is that it’s flirting - pure and simple. Teasing is flirting. Cocky and funny is simply flirting. You flirt to gain attraction and interest, and to tell her that you know what’s going on, that you have social value, and you play this game. Once that’s accomplished, don’t get bogged down and only flirt, you need to build a connection, and show her your value in other areas of your life.”
So onto my favorite cocky and funny lines.
Remember they have to be “Cocky and FUNNY“. Some guys just don’t get the humor of it…
Example #1: (Just last Friday night)
Waitress comes over…
Waitress: “There you go” *hands me my to-go box*
Me: *I look at the box with a curious face* “Where’s the… ahh… number?”
Waitress: “Oh you give that to me”
Me: *Putting my hand on my head, and looking down almost looking embarrassed* “You know you come to a place like this expecting… *sigh* a certain level of professionalism and you get this…” (With a smile at the end)
Waitress: *snatches the box and comes back with her number written*
Example 2:
Her: Do you have a pen?
Me: Yeah, and I’ll let you use it to write your number down for me.
Example 3:
You: Tonight is your lucky night
Her: Oh really? Why is that?
You: Because you finally got to go out with me
Her: Sure!
You: But no touching… I… do all the touching!
Example 4:
Me: It’s tough to be such a sex symbol.
Example 5:
Me: “Listen, I’m sorry for being out of touch, I’ve been very, very busy. But I’m available now… (suddenly changing tone of voice, like a salesman) …but only for a limited time only, at a low, low price of $14.99 an hour!”
What are your favorite lines? Got any examples of cocky and funny (flirting)?
If you’d like to learn proper techniques for crafting your own cocky and funny lines and how it will help your game with women, take quick peek at some of the video clips over at David Deangelo’s Cocky Comedy site.
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Comment by LEWIS WOOD on 26 January 2007:
eg 1 ,
Her : lets get a drink .
Me : Oh please tell me your not planning on geting me drunk so you can try and seduce me .
eg 2 ,
Me : Waddup fool!
Her : Huh , fool eh …..( punch in arm )
eg 3 ,
Me : Were you just checking out my ass ……
eg 4,
Me : ( i did this while talking to a girl on the bus ) - So do you oftern try to seduce guys on the bus .
Comment by Marco Polo on 26 January 2007:
You know, I am bored with girls always trying to seduce me. I would like to try something different. Let`s pretend that I am interested in you. Just try to hide your desire for me and let me work my magic on you.
……after few more lines that emphasise my self confidence and humor….. (add semi/erotic kino in this)…..
Wow, this is great. You are really good. I should reward your efforts in not pressuring me and just listening. I am tempted to allow you to kiss me.
….after that wheter she kisses me or not everything is so easy…. She is in my ocean and I am the shark and it is only mather of time when will I bite her
Comment by Marco Polo on 26 January 2007:
Hi, I am Marco Polo from Croatia!
This is my first post ever on any seducction related sites, blogs or forums. I am 28, lived my whole life not knowing anything about existing anything like this community. Some guy I met a month ago(friend of a friend) told me about NS “The Game” and after I read it I realised how many of the things that are mentioned I was already using by not knowing that even have names, like Kino, AMOGing and Cock/funny especially. My game (that I didn`t even knew that exist in that way) was full of this things. This guy asked me what is my game, how do I pick up girls, what are my lines and method, I just said:” I don`t know, I just approach and do everything naturally. Than he started with terms like methods, lines, mirroring, PUA`s, Courtney Love….. and I was like WTF is this freak talking about?? Now, everything is much clearer. I am in happy realtionship and I think about this whole thing as a cute hobby, but I can`t deny that some of these things started to become helpfull in building better relationships in other asspects of life.
Picking up was always pretty easy and natural thing, but it is great about reading about it from such “scientific” approach.
Take care!
Comment by Danger Lover on 26 January 2007:
One of my favorite lines is the age thing.
HER: How old are you?
ME: Good question…i stopped counting at 69
HER: Hahaha, For an old geezer you look pretty good.
ME: *sigh* what a lame pick up line, how young are you?
If she’s older then me:
HER: You’re such a charmer, too bad you’re too young for me.
ME: That’s okay “grandma”, i’ll change your daiper, you change mine. I believe in equality in a relationship.
HER: Hahaha, grandma?! (slap on the arm or they just crack up. wich i then proceed to my stern face and continue the next topic)
Thanx for posting this, Donovan. I’ve been wondering why sometimes the c&f doesn’t work, cuz now that i have a flashback of all the times i did..i realize i overdid it. It makes the gals be affraid to say something thinking you will make fun of it. (predictable and we know that predictable=boring)
-R!
Cheers!
Comment by Matt Savage on 26 January 2007:
Here’s my favorite C&F line:
Whenever I go to a bar/club and a hired gun asks to see my ID, I always say, “Well I do look young, I can’t help my boyish good looks:)”
Comment by Donovan on 26 January 2007:
Nice. Anyone else?
Comment by groovyG on 26 January 2007:
somewhere into the conversation with her, i’ll throw in out of nowhere:
- you’re just planning to use me for my body and throw me away later, right? i don’t trust women anymore
if i offer her to come home with me, i immediately add, while waving my finger in a reprimanding manner:
- but don’t you dare to try to have sex with me! i need to feel trust between us first
Comment by Hero on 26 January 2007:
I’m cracking up whilst reading your lines.. I’ll have to keep some of those.. I haven’t come up with any of my own yet but best belive that I will =)
Comment by Freak on 26 January 2007:
-If she asks you to guess her age…
most girls love this!!
-answer: Do you want me to guess older or younger?
and cocky & funny should never be used during the whole time! makes you goofy or weird… mix it like chili. just a lil bit is awesome and to much is…
good luck
Comment by Steve on 27 January 2007:
When u ask her to do somthing simple and she is taking a long time to do it or is not being as compliant as u like
“I know honey….it hard….” (Act Simpathetic)
When u tell her a joke and she doesn’t laugh cause she didn’t get it:
“You’ll get that one TOMMAROW moring… (then keep repeating tommarow in an exaterated voice till she laughes if she didn’t already)”
ME: I’m looking for a new style for my clothing and i was wounder if u have any recommendations.
SHE: Uhhh..well…lets see. There is (blah blah blah)
Me: *Cut her of in the middle of her sentence* So, where do u shop from?
SHE: Oh…i shop at *store*
ME:I’m just playing with you. I’m not looking for a style i’m perfect as is. I just wanted to get u to admite were u shop from.
PS:I’m new at C&F so i was wounder if u guys could give me some feed back. Besides that the obove have been field tested.
Comment by Donovan on 28 January 2007:
Kill the last one, the others were OK. Alot of the funny, comes out in body language, depending on that, they could work.
Comment by Jermaine on 28 January 2007:
I think the best one is when you ask her what does she do, and she says whatever, you reply ‘I hope it pays well so you can support us both. Just so you know, I’m not planing to work or anything, just sit around and watch TV. That is what I always wanted.’ There are variations to this but it’s great.
At Marco Polo, hey man you are the first I know that is into this from that area. I’m from Srbija. I don’t think there are many guys from around here that know about this. I don’t know is this one of those forums that allow only english so that’s why I used it. Write back man. Bye
Comment by Tambo on 28 January 2007:
I have come up with some great c&f lines over the last few months. Here are some of my favorite. I have used all these before.
“Why are you trying to start something, you are so sexually agressive.” (whenever she tries to give me a kiss or hold hands or anything like that, note: I use this with women I have been with sexually already, but use as you wish.)
Her: Do you plan on getting married?
Me: I don’t know, maybe if she’s rich. I’ll marry her, then divorce her and take half her money.
Her: Why do you.. (could be about anything.)
Me: Cuz I’m awesome.
I can’t think of the rest, right now. Most come so naturally now that I don’t even remeber them later on.
Comment by Marco Polo on 29 January 2007:
Jermaine,
My e-mail is fistbbb@yahoo.com feel free to contact me.
Like I said, this is only a hobby, but a very dangerous hobby. Whats your story?
Comment by Tambo on 29 January 2007:
I just watched the movie “The Guardian” last night. During this one scene Ashton Kutcher’s character delivered the following line while he was dancing with this hot girl, “you can stop undressing me with your eyes, I’m not going to sleep with you tonight.” Of course in the next scene they were in bed together.
Nice.
Comment by tony on 30 January 2007:
Ok in a clothes shop just about to go in the changing room and you say to the female assistant
“Ok no peeking”
and she’ll probably laugh!
Me: “do they train you to smile to the customers here?”
Her: “no”
Me: “shame, because on a scale of 1 to 10 that was about a 4!”
Comment by Sting on 30 January 2007:
Hi Donovan,
just wanted to add a quick validation to your take on C & F and how one develops on it.
Brushing past overdoing it and offending the girl (which most of have done) - I went through a weird phase that’s pretty funny. and was very “what do i do now?” clueless when it was going on.
At the time, all i knew about was David D.’s cocky and funny - never heard about or thought about ‘qualifying’ or even ‘comfort building’. David’s standard response to the question of “when can i stop this and get to know the girl normally” used to be “why stop doing whats working?”
i would reach these scenes where the girl would REALLY be opening up to me - telling me stuff about her childhood, her health problems, something about her parents relationship… deep, personal stuff in short.
and i had no clue what to do about it!
I figured out for myself that c & f might not be a good idea(!), but then what? after a few just-staying-quiet goes, i came up with a series of neutral encourager comments - “oh, really?”
“oh, yes?”
“hmmm.”
“wow, thats intense.” etc.
to bridge through to the lay.
there are more elegent ways of building comfort! but for all the more sophisticated stuff, C & F remains one of the best attraction tools out there - especially to start with, as its something thats easily workable.
on a more advanced scale, IMO the main attraction switch is social proof - but you have to work upto the point where you can gain that easily and with grace. c & f is much easier to start with - even in uncalibrated cases, its different enough from the norm that it’ll get a guy a bit of attention at the least.
cheers,
Sting
Comment by style on 31 January 2007:
wow
Comment by spade on 2 February 2007:
Cocky Funny works great. I began to get away from it for awhile when I discovered the larger community. I was trying to focus more on my sarges and developing routines etc, but I’m starting to come back to it. I’ll throw a few of my recent favs out there.
Her: (says something interesting or cool somewhere toward the beginning of the sarge)
Me: Wow, your the coolest person I’ve met in the past five minutes. Your my new best friend. Just do me a favor and don’t tell my mom that we met in a bar.
(I know, I know, I just realized that this isn’t really cocky/funny, but delivered correctly, it will elicite a laugh…never a bad thing.)
Her (If she’s wearing a large brimmed hat like girls will often do during summer months)
Me: Hey, I like your hat. Where did you get it? I’m going to Mexico in a couple of months and I’m looking for a good sombrero. It gets awful hot down there.
Her: Here’s my number, let me just write it down for you.
Me: Thank you. Perhaps we’ll hang out.
Her: Sure, I’d like that.
Me: But only if you have some hot friends to introduce me to.
Hope this helps gentlemen.
Keep Digging,
Spade
guysmiley_1980@yahoo.com
Comment by LEWIS WOOD on 6 February 2007:
If she is dressed slutty - ” so do you always go around dressed like a hooker ”
If she gets pissed off - ” oh poor baby is throwing a tantrum ”
If she has on some cool outfit - ” wow you look great its amazing how good a 10 $ outfit looks ”
She says do i look great - ” Well it will be ok but its going to embarrasing hanging around you “
Comment by spade on 6 February 2007:
Lewis Wood:
Re the first one. It could work definately, but context and tonality are key here. Equating a woman with a hooker is in most cases just not a good idea. Just be careful how you use it. You don’t want to get slapped, or worse yet get a kick to your netheregion. After all, there are future generations to think about.
Comment by Andrew on 6 February 2007:
(After using C+F on her for awhile) She says: “your too mean to me sometimes (laughing) tell me 2 positive things about me just to make up for it.” I said: “Okay.. hmm.. you laugh alot.. That’s kinda a positive thought and you have okay lips, I would prefer better ones, but I guess yours will do fine for now.” She is pretty shocked and she says “My lips happen to be great and big.” and I said “uh huh (sarcastically but serious) If thats what puts you to sleep at night then okay..” She says: “I have big lips” and I said “If you consider thinner then a pencil lips to be big then you have the biggest” and she then whispered: “Someday soon I will show you what these lips can do.”
Hot diggidy damn! I swear that is true, every word… She basicly said she was gonna either makeout with me or go down on me… That’s the only successful one besides the usual c&f stuff… It might not be the best, but it captures the idea and the result was about the same as expected if you get good with it… That is my best story though..
Comment by Andrew on 16 February 2007:
is that a good line? Another scenario is when a HB came up to me to ask me a question and she said “hey hey hey (her question)” I said ” “hey hey hey” has a name you know..” her eyes lit up and she laughed a little and she said in reply “well then.. what is your name?” I said “Andrew” gave eye contact, smirked right in front of her she smiled and I walked away without a word (I know I will see this girl alot more now.. so thats why I didn’t continue, but will next time)
Maybe I read this in a David DeAngelo newsletter, but I thought of a scenario that when your walking with your girl hip check her a little (but make it a little obvious) and blame it on her and then when she says but you did it then maybe either right after or a couple minutes later do it to her again, but don’t do it too aggressively she might get hurt (or you if shes tough enough) and then blame it on her, but make sure that you do it more playfully cause then she might get mad or something could go wrong, but its a more physical cocky funny trick that works if done correctly… I don’t know if I can take the credit for it though, so I won’t
Comment by Eric on 22 February 2007:
Here’s a few.
Her:
Me: WAAAAAHHH! (really funny, makes her laugh and calls you a jerk or something. Great stuff)
Me: I like your shoes. I bet they looked great when they were new.
A good thing to do with waitresses is to play tic tac toe with them. They love this, and will be easier to score off a phone number by the time you’re done.
Her:
Me: I don’t usually let any girl see my ID. They could be psychopathic stalkers or something.
Her: Why does (such and such happen)
Me: Because you touch yourself at night.
THIS WORKS TRUST ME (thank god for family guy)
Her: (If she punches or hits you)
Me: Man, my dead grandma hits harder than you.
Good luck
Comment by Eric on 22 February 2007:
One more thing to add
If a girl wears a lot of make-up, tell her
Me: You know, (girls name), I like you a lot and we’re friends and everything, plus please, the next time me meet, PLEASE where make-up.
Good stuff.
Comment by Toph on 5 March 2007:
Curious to know what mix of nationalities we’ve got here. Cocky and funny, or funny at least, must depend on some notional sense of humour which is a very subjective thing. Basically, what i’m soft-soaping here is that i found very little humour in any of these lines, the exception being Eric’s “Because you touch yourself at night” - brilliant. Now this may be because i am a cynical and sarcastic English guy; it may be that the lines aren’t funny; it may be that laugh at loud hilarious isn’t the important thing here…
How about subverting some very old, very tired chat-up lines -
Me - You know heaven’s missing an angel tonight…
Her - Rolls eyes, is generally unimpressed.
Me - Yeah, I snuck down when God was teaching Ray Charles to Hula Hoop. Damn you gotta be so goooood in that place and i feel baaaaaad.
Untested, but i like the idea. What do you folks reckon ?
Comment by kh on 11 March 2007:
if she dressed slutty
me: Are you the kind of girl my mom always asked me to stay away
she is talking (blah blah blah), after you have some sort of rapport.
me: you know, it should be illegal to be pretty like you
she: why /what?
me: I would have accident, if I see you driving next to me. Can’t take my eyes of you!
Comment by Donovan on 21 March 2007:
Thanks for the lines. Lets get more.
Comment by E.V on 23 March 2007:
just read a couple of lines iam bored so might as well help since iam here right?
Your joking around with her and she gets mad
she : you hurt my feelings
you: You have feelings? when did this happen?
haha what do you people think only line i can think of right now sice i used it yestarday
lol
Comment by Tirath on 27 March 2007:
Cocky and funny comes so naturally to me now…That u gimme any sentence and I’ll turn it around n u’ll get a gr8 cocky anf funny line… No rushes plzzz… One at a time… Or else I’ll charge u guys… (look its already started)..
Well I av taken a lot of time and effort to learn it… But I think If anyone here wants to learn it… Drop me a mail at :tirath5u@gmail.com N I’ll see wat can be done..
Here are just a couple of effortless lines Created and percieved by ME and Only Me..
Her: Hey wat you doin?
Me: Y? wat r u plannin to do for me? (N then b4 she answers n e crap cut her off start a new thread as though u know she is capable of nothin..)
Her: You are not my type… ( A serious one now..I know many of u hear this…So here is My remedy for u guys)
Me: I know silly.. I just bought tickets to watch ur “types” at our local ZOO… (Then just keep lookin at her… DOnt get heated up while saying it ,,Or it may sound as though u r insulting her…Kepp kool all the time…
Comment by Penis o Malley on 28 March 2007:
Got sum gud ones
She : I have a boyfriend
You : And whats that got to do with the price of cabbage?
or Do get all personal on me just yet , i only want to kick it with you for a couple of minutes.
She ; (makes a joke)
You ; Your funny
She ; Thanks ( or something like that)
You ; Ya funny lookin
Comment by oleg on 2 April 2007:
I love this one
me: your arms are hairy
her: (laugh)
me: you should shave them just like you shave your legs
you do shave your legs dont you?
Comment by SexyShedden on 15 April 2007:
..aite guys this is the situation when the girl was trying to act like shes all that and ect..so i decided to put her in her place
Her- (does something clumsy)
Me- wow..how do the guys keep off of you…its a wonder..(say with a straight face)
Her- Well that funny because at college (or bar) the guys cant stay off of me (she smirks)
Me- well yea, but thats only cause the guys there at college drink alot.
Her….(priceless look than laughs).
needless to say that look of hers was a “Kodak” moment, tell me what u guys think. peace and gl.
Comment by brick on 16 April 2007:
Nice lines guys! Im not sure where i got this line but i loove it! it has sooo many uses.. recently i used it at a party,
if a girl makes any physical advance on you at all such as: hug, kiss, hold hands (be creative)
you: you know,… i usually charge for that.
this works great if you are leaving and go in for the goodybye hug kiss whatever.
i was at a party and said it pretty early on when she hugged me or something, her first response was.. “will you make an exception for me?” and we made out like 3min. later hooray.
I also like saying stuff like “yah im kinda a big deal” or “wow you actually got to hang out with me, there is usually a waiting list”
fun stuff, later guys!
Comment by some bloke on 16 April 2007:
Here’s one example that left a good impression on a girl I met in a club a while back.
Girl: Hi.
Me: Are you one of these aggressive local girls I keep meeting?
Girl: No!
Me: Are you sure? You look quite aggressive…
Girl: (laughing) Shut up! (punches me in the arm)
Me: (clutching my arm pretending to be in real pain) See I knew you were aggressive!
I also like asking questions where there is no right answer.
Me: Are you single?
Girl: Yes.
Me: I bet you wonder why!
or
Girl: No.
Me: Your boyfriend must be very brave to put up with you!
Keep them coming fellas…
Comment by Latocki on 17 April 2007:
Some of these lines you guys are tossing out are kinda chessy but there’s some good stuff in here. Anyway, on to my little encounter. I notice sometimes girls like to throw out a bit of cock block before sex is even mentioned. The other night i went to go see 300 with a female acquaintance of mine. We were talking up at the concession I don’t quite remember all the details of the conversation, but one piece of gold jumped out at me.
Her: I mean, i’m not sleeping with you.
Me: haha, whatever. (purchases large coke from cashier)
Her:(in a pouty tone) Why aren’t you getting Mr.Pibb?
Me: You’re not sleeping with me (wry smile and a wink)
The look on her face was priceless. I think you guys know. The wide mouthed, speechless face. She ended up earning her Mr.Pibb later that night.
Comment by Sega on 18 April 2007:
I just came up with this one a few months back when I went sarging with Capt. Alex. We were leaving the club and I saw a bunch of girls about to take a pic, so I ran up to the one that had the camera and was like “Wait, wait, wait!” They all loked at me and tought I was gona offer to take the pic for then so the one with the camera could be in it 2. When she started to motion to give me the camera, I said “You guys need some eye candy on this pic!” and walked towards the group, they looked confused for a second then they all smiled and were all tring to get next to me on the pic. Form then on they all were calling me eye candy and flirting with me. Me and my friend did some more C&F and mixed a couple of negs. It worked like a charm and I used it a few times since then, always with good results. Btw, Capt. Alex closed a porn star that was in that group that night.
Comment by sarah on 18 April 2007:
wow this site is funny, men giving men advice on women with pick up lines, have you ever considered asking women about women? I liked the lines where the guy make a statement/acts offended that you usually here woemn make and the lines where he is joking about being to good/sexy/smarts but some of these “lines” are not only cheesy but just make you look retarded any guy who uses an obvious pickup line is considered lame and maybe a whore. I agree with the cocky and funny part being good… in moderation.Respect is important.
Comment by Chris on 22 April 2007:
ok listen you should never say anything that women would find offensive like calling them a bitch or a hoe or any other obscenity. anything else you should consider fair game to tease her about seriuosly.
Comment by DoGz on 23 April 2007:
sarah dear, respect is important - thats why these lines work
mutual respect- the respect bratty girls give out is what they recieve in turn
understand?
Comment by Dominick on 19 May 2007:
Lots of good stuff here. Keep up.
Sometimes a woman will antagonize you, bounce back and start becoming stubborn to test your assertiveness and so forth. A way to counter this is to lean back, look her for a few secs and go like:
`Do you know _why_ I am smarter than you? Cause when God told us to select heads for ourselves YOU went for `THICK’. _I_ went for `AIR-TIGHT’. Don’t confuse these two types. They are different.’
Just my 2c. Cheers folks. Be safe.
Comment by andi on 19 May 2007:
At school: i was walking in the halls and a really hot chick bumps into me walking the opposite, she says sorry but i say: its ok you can touch me all you want
Or if she asks to sit next to you say : do you bite?
Or if she sits first and then asks say: its ok i dont bite
Comment by andi on 19 May 2007:
Im hot.
Comment by Kyle on 24 May 2007:
Her: I have a boyfriend
Me: That’s alright, I’m not the Jealous type
Comment by Kyle on 24 May 2007:
Me: Has anyone ever told you that you look like Jessica Alba (could be anyone)
Her: No
Me: oh, that’s only cause you don’t (with smile)
Comment by Kyle on 24 May 2007:
Me: Have you ever driven in a Ferrari before?
Her: *as she’s walking to the car* No
Her: I thought you said you drove a Ferrari
Me: No, I asked you if you’ve ever driven in one before
Comment by Lowry on 27 May 2007:
When she asks to sit down next to you:
“It’s ok, I only bite on request”.
Comment by Struttus on 31 May 2007:
Ermm. nono. what u gotta say when she its down is..
me:”what’up..”
her: hey.
goes to sit down..”chair squeeks”
me ” oh!! what? sighs*”
her” what?
Me: “nothing, you can sit there just dont talk to me ok? in a sarcastic tone
and If she replys.. its on.. take it from there.. Try to use as much body language in ur chair like high satus and so on!.. Its so much better if you do
Comment by El Star on 1 June 2007:
After a waitress screws up in some insignificant way …
Me: [Open menu and look for something] Say, how much would it cost to order a new waitress?
(careful, if you don’t deliver this the right way, you might end up with spit, or worse, in your food)
—
Her: Come with me (or some other request)
Me: Listen, you’re going to have to fill out and submit a formal request just like everyone else that wants to hang out with me. There’s no special treatment for semi-cute girls.
—
Her: [tells a joke] (or at least tries)
Me: [yelling] Everyone … everyone stop …. (her name) just told a joke!
(kind of like a “stop the presses” tone)
—
From The Departed, when you’re hanging out
Her: Next time we go out (yadda yadda)
Me: [totally serious face] Who says I want to go out with you again? [awkward pause] … I’m just kidding …. but you should have seen the look on your face.
That’s a neg AND C&F
—
This one is always effective and can be varied in a lot of ways:
Me: How about I ask you to [hang out, go out for dinner, etc.], then you pretend like you’re thinking about it for a while, just long enough to make me think you’re actually not going to come. Meanwhile, I’ll make all the arrangements, then you accept my invitation like you’ve been wanting to do since I asked … sound like fun?
It’s “control her universe,” a bit of role playing, and C&F. You basically can tell her that you’re going to play games together, but you’re scripting the whole thing.
Another variation:
Alicia: What are you doing tonight.
Me: I’m going to (place) and doing (activity) with Alicia.
Comment by J.R. "Bob" Dobbs on 1 June 2007:
This is the lamest bunch of crap that I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure I would be utterly bored by any woman dumb enough to be interested in any of that high school jive.
Oh well… back to being alone and hating life.
Comment by phillip on 2 June 2007:
she: what are you studying after school?
him: i wanted to be a plastic surgeon,to see boobs..but it didnt happen
Comment by JB on 3 June 2007:
darn this is a new world..im going to have a new life from now!keep it up guys..you are going to change my life.
Comment by Sio on 5 June 2007:
when there is a general “awkward” silence:
Me: Has anyone ever told you you talk too much?
Her: Yes
Me: Yeah, well they shouldnt have…
Also very cool is using the “hand gestures” that ross and monica used instead of “f@@@@ you” …. i think joey also had one for the episode that chandler slept with joeys girlfriend…. all from friends. This is especially funny to girls who have watched or watch friends !!!!
General comeback line: Go shave yourself
Comment by Jesse on 6 June 2007:
If she gives you any canned insult: you’re gay, stupid, lame, etc
me: good one, in what grade did you learn that one
her: shutup!
me: that one was first grade right?
her: starts anything else
me: -interrupt- (start using any first grader talk) fart-face, smelly-butt, etc. but in a very serious way
Comment by Royas on 7 June 2007:
you’re back into “ordinary” conversation…
Her : “bla bla bla”
Me : “nod, make out I’m interested”
Her : “more bla bla”
Me : “suddently let my head drop and pretend to snore”
As you look back up she’ll have that slightly pissed off smile or give a chick punch.
This small joke can be re-used 2/3 times, typical comical repetition
Comment by steph on 9 June 2007:
I like this one very mutch
me)hey you look friendly what your name
her)her name
me)i whait till she ask my name im looking directly in her eyes
her)what yours
me)my friend call me steph but you can call me stephane
her)why cant i call you steph
me)You will if you do well in the next few minutes
Comment by Andrew on 11 June 2007:
*She sits down next to you
me - So you think you can sit next to me huh?
Comment by Darrell on 22 June 2007:
Me: Can I buy you a drink…or do you just want the money?
Comment by Arsh on 23 June 2007:
Something I really like doing, reply “Yeah Right” to ANYTHING they say. I find it priceless. They will act all annoyed and stuff, but trust me they dig on it. Thats why they keep coming back for more.
Comment by Arsh on 23 June 2007:
Or if she asks you a favor, ask her what you will get in exchange. A classic David D!
Comment by din on 26 June 2007:
I want cocky n funny sms msgs
Comment by pao on 27 June 2007:
my simple cocky funny lines
me: hi
her: elow
me: how r u
her: fine
me: nice meeting u
her: u too
me: bye….(w/ a smile)
hehe…hope u like it.
Comment by Andeee on 27 June 2007:
THe post above was stupid….
Anyways, I was recently sitting with a girl at school when she started singing a song, she then said, “this song can get annoying sometimes” I said yeah when you sing it” She had that wide mouthed face and gave me a little punch in the arm, works really well. She basicly set herself up for that one
Comment by Ricky on 28 June 2007:
you know guys i always knew i have the c&f stuff in me, but i was to shy.Lucky me i`m not anymore:) and i feel like don juan demarco now hahaha.
her:(normaly, laught)
here is my c&f stuff, i know you are all despaired to hear me, have patience.haha
her: hi
me: hi, so tell me how long do you planing to stay in my town this summer?
her: 2 mounts.
me: WHAT???!!!!Aha i know what your plan is, you will stay here for me, but you`ll need 2 years!
her: why 2?
me: Because i`m not that easy
—
me: i see your hair is changed you are red now, and you are beautiful too!
her: Thanks, realy, am i beautiful?!
me: Yes, but don`t compare with me, i don`t want you to suffer!
(i hope you understand because my english i not that good);)
GREETINGS TO ALL!
Comment by Andeee on 28 June 2007:
Him: Hey are you single
Her: No i have a boyfriend
Him: So are you bored of him yet?
Her: Haha, no.
Him: So how long have you been with him?
Her: # of years or whatever…
Him: Wow hes a brave guy..
Her: why is that?
Him: becuase he has to put up with you all the time
Her: laugh
Comment by manuel on 29 June 2007:
Me: I wasn’t expecting to meet someone beutiful tonight
She: Thanks
Me: mmm but, maybe I will
————————————————————–
Me: You look nice
She: Thanks
Me: If I weren’t here, I would say you are the sexiest person in this room.
Comment by D on 6 July 2007:
“Nice shoes, goodwill must be finally getting some nice stuff in.”
Me: so u have a BF?
Her: yea
Me: Great! Now I finally have someone who can make me breakfast!
Comment by jason on 9 July 2007:
I’m on a date with a girl and she notices my outfit and says to me, “You’re looking sporty tonight.” And I reply: “You’re looking…um…You’re looking…Sorry, I can’t think of anything to compliment you on. You should work on that.” She laughs and then procedes to rip my clothes off and screw me silly in public
Comment by elektrip on 12 July 2007:
1) Some days ago I was sitting in the train and a girl passed by, making eye contact and smiled, she was about to leave at the next station. I was a second too late to react (longer than 3sec.) so I stood up, went to her, looked straight in her eyes and said:
“What, we don’t even know each other yet and you’re already running away from me?”. (maybe poor english translation, sorry)
2) Another day in the train, again some girl smiles, makes eye contact while leaving the train, and since I got rid of my inner wuss I said: “This is not the right station, I’ll leave two stations later…”
3) Again in public transport, a girl walked past the seat next to me and I almost yelled out (making sure all in the bus could hear me): “You’ll have the privilege to sit next to me…I’ll bite, but mostly it doesn’t hurt that much”.
Since a few months I say things I never thought I’d have the balls for. Being cocky/funny with friends naturally, but “nice guy” with the ladies. I always loved to take a risk but I’d playing it safe with the girls. Not anymore, now with approaching women too. Now I don’t fear nothing in life!
Another thing, on a good day, I can come up with the most funny s*hit that perfectly suits the situation, spontaneously and instant. Since I really think I’m original I don’t even try to use canned lines..it has to come out of me naturally and I think any canned line just doesn’t fit my personality or better put, don’t suffice my standards. I’m good with language (german, that is) and word plays, so on a bad day, I just don’t approach women rather than forcing it and then messing it up because I wouldn’t have enough follow-up substance to take it further…
I’m 31 years now and I never ever dated any women (being a superwuss of all wussys to new girls…but I always thought I’m a cool guy just not discovered yet;), the few occasions I had where pure luck or I didn’t care and was just cool! Not anymore so. Luck doesn’t apply, I’m more alpha-male now etc…so I went from zero to hero, having now 3 girls in line to date, all met in 1 month now (and I stopped by now to have them handled/scheduled first).
I feel I can have every women I want now. All 3 girls think I’m a super hero and they’re verrrry interested. I’n fact, the first girl ever in my life I asked for a phone number (recently!) asked me, while I’m typing my no. into her phone:
“Are you sure you can handle all your numbers?”
I was hard pressed not to laugh out loud so I remained cool outside, felt like a fckn king and said:
“No it’s really annoying, I hope the Apple iPhone will have enough storage to put in all the contacts…”.
I’m smiling everyday now (it’s unreal!) and don’t miss a beat when I feel to play outside. However to make a long story short, my detailed “success story” goes to David D. soon and I hope he includes it in the newsletter. Stay tuned guys!
Another opener I recently did in a bar, that took my last fear of approaching women and further grew my balls: I looked for the obviously most beautiful woman in that bar, one that knows it.
Me: Hello
She: Hi
Me: You know, you’re not that attractive and I guess you are not approached very often so I thought I’ll give you the chance to talk with me. Maybe you’re leastwise rich!”.
She: HAHAHAA!
(OK I read somewhere some similar “line” and so I’ll share the credit to whoever said that similar thing
Another one I want to try (not field-tested yet).
Me: Wow I like your shoes and your handbag
She: Thank you (probably bored)
Me: Unfortunately they don’t match. I think you need a style consultant when you go out shopping next time.
She: Really? Haha.
Me: Call me, if you need someone with aesthetic-stylistic confidence (not empty words, I do have style and know aesthetics/design stuff).
(sorry for bad english..I think it’s difficult to speak eloquent in english b/c so many words or nuances just don’t exist in that language…)
Comment by Royas on 13 July 2007:
Speaking with the chick, enventually you pop out the question :
Me: So, what’s your kind of guy ?
Her : “bla bla bla, whatever dork”
If you don’t push the answer nine times out of ten she’ll then ask you what kind of women you’re into, to wich you reply :
Me: Well to be honest I’m a real f**** machine, I never stop sleeping with chicks. I have an amazing sucess rate with women ranging from 65 to 80 and, when I’m feeling like getting the younger stuff I go for shave headed tatoo sporting fat chicks.
But hey don’t feel threatened, maybe if I shaved a few patches of hair on you we could date, or become friends, I’m not decided yet
I speak rather loudly in the beginning of the answer so I seem cocky talking about screwing a lot of chicks. Then as she pictures the women I describe she’ll have a great smile on her face.
P.S. Congrats to elektrip for his better life change
Comment by Sam on 16 July 2007:
you dont need to do all that and think of something as silly as these lines to say to get a partner,my advice is be yourself to get some one that is compatible with u, u dont have to date a girl and TRY to remember OH what ur age granny lines to impress ,, the momement you try to impress she will sence it or he will, and think u are to dumb u need to prove urself to impress her/him, so this is the mistake,just be yourself, relax dnt need to think much and use ur brains extra to impress..any other probs you need advices mail me to TahanSamir At hotmail and if u are a person looking for a nite only dont mail, just go to a whore house TC
Comment by Shervin on 19 July 2007:
Manuel, those where awesome
Pingback by More Examples of "Cocky & Funny" Humor on 21 July 2007:
[...] out some of the cocky and funny lines guys like you have [...]
Comment by Samuel on 31 July 2007:
This happend to me at a party like two weeks ago:
Im sitting and talking to some people when this hot chick comes up to me and says “Hey, i know you. I photographed you for some magazine bla bla bla (wich i dont remember)”.
I say something like “Sorry, i dont remember. People do that all the time.”, she laughs, and we start a conversation.
Just a minute later my friend calls me up on my cellphone, and instead of answering myself, i reach the phone to her (i didnt feel like talking to him anyway at that time..) and tells her to answer. They talk for a short while (about the party, who she is etc..) and then reaches back the phone to me; wherupon i say to my friend with a playful voice: “Are you trying to steel my girl?”
It whas really funny, and she laughed a lot.
(we didnt end up doing anything since i whas there with another girl, but what do you think about it?)
Comment by Mik on 1 August 2007:
Here’s some good ones I use all the time and they work.
Her:Do you wanna chill tonight?
Me: Maybe, as long as you don’t take advantage of me:P
Her:I can’t make any promises.:P
Her: What are you doing tonight?
Me: If your trying to sleep with me you don’t need a lame excuse:P
Her: haha well in that case:P
Always seem to work
Comment by Igor on 2 August 2007:
What a bunch of losers.
Comment by Mikiah on 6 August 2007:
Sometimes to start a conversation or during the middle of a conversation, I’ll bust out an obvious pick up line that’s really funny. I say it in a tone like i know it’s a pick up line so it doesn’t come across as being cheesy.
Me: so when we wake up at my place in the morning, how do you want your eggs… scrambled or fertilized?
I get smiles 100% of the time.
Comment by jay d on 17 August 2007:
you say this to a girl you’ve gone out with for just a about two dates.so on the third date u r like;
“Hey, i noticed u like me a lot , in fact u love me.Well, thats a criminal offence.the judge has sentenced u to life time with me .how do u plead ??”.
i know it will work for u guyz. becos its worked 4 moi.
Try it out.
Comment by Annie on 19 August 2007:
It’s good to be confident and flirtatious. But quite a few of these lines came off as either slightly insulting, or it makes you come across as a bit of a gigolo. Just know that there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of self-effacing humor! We girls like confidence, certainly, but we like guys who are down-to-earth at the same time. It’s hard to find a good balance. If you spout off these arrogant, holier-than-thou lines right off the bat, she’s going to think that you consider yourself too good for her. Now guys, would you be interesting in dating a woman who acts like she’s out of your league? Probably not. No one wants to hang around someone who lowers their self-esteem, even if only by a small amount. Even if you are just trying to get laid.
To be honest, if some of these lines were used on me, I’d be a little offended and put on the defense. Believe me, being put on the defense is never a good feeling for anyone, male or female.
I would say make her laugh a little as we appreciate a sense of humor, and don’t come across as desperate. But don’t go too far in the other direction and look completely disinterested either, or she’ll write you off in her mind. Some of you say things that allude to her being less-than-attractive…stop. She’s gonna think you’re an asshole. I would. Girls actually like when guys say we’re pretty…as I said, as long as you’re not sounding desperate, you’ll be fine.
The lines the author wrote are fine, but some of the commenters’…I can’t tell whether you’re joking or serious. I really HOPE some of these are just sarcasm. Just remember, nice guys DON’T finish last. Scared, nervous, desperate, conceited, downright rude guys finish last. But you CAN be funny and confident while still being a nice guy.
And sorry if I’ve come across as snotty in any way, I really am just trying to help. Some of you did manage to come across as cute and charming without sounding mean or full of yourselves, so kudos. =)
Comment by Seduction Chronicles on 22 August 2007:
Some of these lines are a little too “COCKY” not enough “FUNNY”. In my opinion, I’d stay on the funner side of things. I’d say 80% funny 20% cocky.
Check out Cocky Comedy for a better explanation than I can offer.
Comment by Tom on 25 August 2007:
I don’t know how anyone who understands cocky and funny can say that it doesn’t work. Here are a couple things I use. Enjoy
1. Girl sits down next to you
Me: You’re lucky you didn’t sit on a tack
Her: What??(puzzled)
Me: Ya, I had to start putting tacks on the seats next to me so all the girls leave me alone
2. Give the woman a completely ridiculus answer to a normal, boring question. Make it c+f and show that you don’t give a damn about what they think of you…
Her: How was your summer?
Me: Overall pretty good except I gained 182 pounds, went to jail, and had to hire a hitman to stop all the women who were stalking me (remember that lines don’t do any good if they aren’t aligned with your belief system and body language)
3. Got this from Master DeAngelo
Her: gives you some sort of compliment
Me: I’m not that easy, you’re going to need a better line than that
4. Han Solo is the man, especially in The Empire Strikes Back, kind of stole this thing from him when the princess wanted him to stay with the rebels.
Her: Want to study for the biology final with me? (asks you to do something with her or help her with something, can be used with lots of things, but must be slightly altered)
Me: You want me to go help you study for the final?
Her: Yes
Me: I think there’s another reason you want me to study with you(sly smile)
Her: Gets a guilty look and laughs
Comment by Dev on 26 August 2007:
just to begin conversation with a girl…
me-hi
her-hi
me-(getting busy with something and giving no response.not even looking at her)
her-(after sometime)uhh….my name is xyz
me-(reacting surprised and as if she disturbed you)who asked you that?
i am new to cocky n funny routine…plzzz give me feedbacks.
Comment by Seduction Chronicles on 26 August 2007:
Might be slightly rude with the “who asked you that”, but I LOVE the first part. Sometimes i think you’ll find that the girl won’t volunteer their name in the first part of the conversation.
Perhaps this…
me-hi
her-hi
me-(getting busy, then glance up…) your name?
her-blah blah. whats yours?
me-which one?
idk, just commenting on this after the gym on Sunday… =)
Comment by Zurla on 27 August 2007:
Her- “Do you find me attractive?”
Me- “maybe if you didn’t have that whole ugly thing goin on”
Comment by Dio on 27 August 2007:
I’m from sweden and these are all things I said in swedish that comes to mind.
Met this girl who’s a friend of my cousin and we hanged and she asked me what i do.
Me: I write.
Her: Really? What do you write?
Me: You mean, except erotic novellas?
At some other point, she told me she used to do some modeling as a child, but not anymore.
Me: Yeah, we can’t all age with dignity.
Another time I was standing with two friends chatting as a girl they knew came up to her and said something. She looked me.
Her: Why are your eyes red?
Me: Well, it’s the pure evil in you that made them that way.
Comment by Concrete JOhn on 30 August 2007:
She (out of the blue): can i ask you a question?
Me (sigh): YES, i’m single, but that doesn’t mean i’m just gonna throw myself at the first girl that comes by. What’s wrong with modern women.
Comment by Drew on 6 September 2007:
We rock.
Comment by davoxxx on 7 September 2007:
it went like this:
her: sorry but i have a fella
me: really? how did manage that? … nevermind i’m sure we can just dump him somewhere..
her: i’m, not that kinda girl
me : and here you are trying your best on me
her : i just wanted to know if you liked me
me; and you were doing so well until then … i’m gonna go over there now …
needless to say i got her, but the point i want to make is that she didn’t actually have a fella. she just threw that there to throw me off.
Comment by Drew on 7 September 2007:
The other day I was in the C&F zone with this girl and she said something bitchy, and I said “Blow me (not very classy I know but it fit in context :)” and she said “Do you want me to?” like all serious. At first I just kind of froze up - I was so amazed at the magic of CF right before my eyes. Next time that happens, what do you guys think I should rebound with?
Comment by Dev on 10 September 2007:
in bars and clubs…(seeing a drop-dead gorgeous lady)
guy-hi.
grl-{no response…reacts as if she didn’t heard}
guy-r u lesbian ?
grl-what?(in a shocking way)
guy-ya ..cause i feel u r not that comfortable with guys.
plzz..give me responce..
Comment by Drew on 10 September 2007:
Did u use that Dev? Props if u can pull that one off.
Comment by Drew on 16 September 2007:
I personally think being cocky & funny is the secret to seduction. It attracts women because it quickly and directly says that you are NOT another boring nice guy. It communicates: That you’re confident,That you’re comfortable, That you’re intelligent, That you’re funny and interesting
Here are a few examples from the Pick Up In 3 Days ebook. Great for canned material.
HER: I have a boyfriend
YOU: Just one? That’s nothing to feel insecure
about. Here’s what we’re going to do. You
stick with me and I’m going to find you
some more boyfriends. Take a look around,
you see anybody cute in this place?
—————————–
HER: I have a boyfriend
YOU: Good for you… I know it is a HUGE deal
to you, but it’s actually pretty common,
so you might not want to keep telling
everyone new person you meet.
——————————-
You’re either the coolest girl I’ve met in a long
time, or you’re a total weirdo, I can’t tell.
Probably a little bit of both.
——————————-
Are you drunk or are you always like this?
——————————
We should hang out some time. You can help
me pick up chicks
——————————
Look I would love to agree with you. But I hate
being wrong
Comment by hiutopor on 17 September 2007:
Hello
Very interesting information! Thanks!
G’night
Comment by Brit on 18 September 2007:
Yo can I just say this is a really good thread. With practise anyone can adopt the cocky funny mindset.
Ok I can’t leave without adding a few, these are ones I have on tap:
Her: How are you?
You: I’ve been told I’m pretty damn good! *Wink*
Her: Have a good day
You: Don’t tell me what to do, you don’t even know me and you’re already
ordering me around!
Oh, if she ever needs to apologise I just say, you owe me and point to my cheek. When she comes in to kiss me, I say, “Woah woah, I meant to say you owe me an apology!” This has never gotten a bad reaction.
One more thing, I started off with very bad calibration and ended up throwing cocky funny lines which ended up insulting girls but now I can sense the type of reaction I will get in the convo. Its not the lines, its about timing and how you deliver it, trust me on this. That’s my 2 cents.
Comment by Lady La on 23 September 2007:
Sad freaks!
Not only that but you can’t even spell!
It’s about time, boys, that you realised ladies are wise to your games. We may toy with you and let you buy us drinks, maybe even try you out in bed, but at the end of the night, or after ‘the deed’ you’re going out with the trash.
It’s the real men we keep around . . .
Comment by thatplaya on 2 October 2007:
lofl ladyla… I don’t buy tricks (esp. tricks like you) drinks, they buy em for me….
and here one good one is:
her: sits next to you..
You: “You don’t bite.. do you” (in a scared kinda voice)
her: “NO!”
You: “Well your no use to me then, go away” (with overly serious look)
Comment by Seduction Chronicles on 14 October 2007:
oh nice guys. Keep em coming!!
Comment by Chef on 18 October 2007:
just met a girl. she’s gorgeous. but she has a masculine personality. when i told a joke yesterday she smacked me on my shoulder. then as i left the car, she smacked my ass.
any special way to deal with a chick like this?
Comment by Andrew on 7 November 2007:
you - hey.
her - sorry, i have a boyfriend.
you - that’s ok, well all know “boyfriend” is just a status anyways.
Comment by Dru on 9 November 2007:
ok..tryin to figure out a good C&F for this one..
her: anyone who says they dont like games are the biggest players of all!!
any answers guys??
Comment by shane on 9 November 2007:
i just started what u think of this one
me: man… everyones looking at you… because your with me
another one
her:hows my hair
me:maybe you should ask john Howard for some tips
could someone give me some tips on what they think thanks
Comment by Gene on 10 November 2007:
Here’s one I used at the end of some minor C&F texting w/ an acquaintance:
Me: (after some silly back and forth about why I’m so great) …so I know ur impressed - even tho u cant bring urself 2 say it
Her: absolutely not - u’ll have 2 try harder
Me: what - ME try harder? no no no u have it all backwards - ur sposed 2b so overwhelmed by how loveable and irresistable I am that u cant control urself
Her: (after several minutes) I am laughing so hard
Next day when I saw her, every time I looked at her she couldn’t stop smiling. When I talked to her a little later she said she was laughing so hard at that last comeback. That one text message conversation has completely changed the way she looks at me. Now almost every day we’ll toss lines back and forth at each other about how little we like each other and it’s almost a like a dare to see who caves first, starts laughing, and admits it.
But of course this is all mixed with normal conversation where I actually pay attention to what she’s saying, and if she really does open up and ask me something that’s a serious issue where she needs help, I don’t stomp on her insecurities and make her feel stupid or embarrassed for revealing a little more about herself or asking for help when she truly needs it. There’s a big difference between flirty joking around and just being an a**hole who is humiliating someone.
btw, to Dru, here are a few possible responses:
her: anyone who says they don’t like games are the biggest players of all!
you: uh… yeah… ok… and your point? (said w/ knowing smirk)
or
you: ha, ha… takes one to know one (said impishly and end by very slightly sticking out your tongue and then look away with mock umbrage)
or
you: (furrow brow, mouth slightly open as if astounded, then say) uh, you’re saying that like it’s a problem (then after a pause, a quick, subtle, knowing smirk)
but no matter what — NEVER imply that you are committed to her or don’t play games if that’s not true. Just jokingly act like you think it’s cool that she’s finally figured out the real game, or act like you’re acknowledging that she’s busted on your “secret” but it’s cool cuz now she’s in on the game and it’s gonna step up another level.
Comment by Bobby on 13 November 2007:
To DRU: next time you should say,
“If you don’t play, you can’t win” (She’ll probably give you a confused look ‘cos you’ve probably just just told her you play games)
Then you say, “I’ll give you ’till tomorrow to figure that one out…might have gone over your head.”
Comment by Bobby on 13 November 2007:
To SHANE: a better one to,
her: hows my hair
me: maybe you should ask Donald Trump for some tips. Or say something that you can incorporate Donald Trump’s name into the response you give her.
Comment by Carapax (SWEDEN) on 13 November 2007:
Hi guys, awesome CF lines, I’ve incorporated several of them so thanks!
Last year I bought The Game and after that I read David DeAngelo: s Double your Dating my life has only gotten better :), so much love to DD & CF and the whole community!
The scenario:
2 weeks ago, at college I ran in to an old classmate from high school who picked me out from the crowd and remarked how open and confident I looked, we chatted and I noticed two semi-hot girls approaching and looking at me. As they where about to pass by I whispered to my friend: Watch me do magic.
(this is a translation from swedish so bare with me.
Me: (loudly to turn their heads) Hey girls, windowshopping or would you like to buy something
girl: (turning around and smiling) Yeah, how much?
Me: show me your smile and we can negotiate the price!
girl (smiles)
Me: well… (looking disappointed)… nothing under 1000 dollars.
girl. haha! your pretty cocky!
Me: considering your mixing of last years fashion, you too!
girl: haha (punches my arm). I hope your not gay!
Me: actually this is my boyfriend (pointing to my friend)… I am the man in our relationship!
friend: (stunned)… eeehh
girls: (laughing)
me: but I am willing to try dating women, so give me your number and I MIGHT call you… but only if you have some hot girlfriends to introduce me to.
girl: haha, sure whats your name?
me: carapax
girl: (writing down her number) its jessica
me: ciao bella
Later that weekend I called her (gave it an timelimit since I was planning to go to a party later on, told her to meet me at a coffeehouse and to wear something “slutty”
and she came in a really hot dress, and needless to say I took an raincheck on the party)… (we had sex)
*the last ” hot girlfriends” line was directly taken from Spades entry, so thanks!
I LOVE the windowshopping line because its so fresh funny and gutsy(said with the right voice-tone)… and if they walk away you can just say somethin like: keep walkin’, we dont have your size anyway girlfriend!
so I hope you guys have fun with it!
MUCH LOVE to David and Neil who not only changed my life but so many other guys, and to everybody here!
Pingback by Why Cocky and Funny Attracts Women on 23 November 2007:
[...] How to be Cocky and Funny [...]
Comment by Pashka on 28 November 2007:
Hey Chaps lovin the comments, some of which have been noted down.
This is my first ever post/mail in the PU community, only read the Game a couple of weeks ago and freshly signed up to a few email circulars.. but already my life is slowly beginning to change, not least my face aches from having to smile the whole bloody time..N.B. I love the fact all the women on this thread want to object but end up validating the essence of cheeky fun! Okay would love some feedback on my own material - always looking to improve - but a bit worried about letting my children out into the world, nonetheless here’s one of my fav routines - my own so good luck, plz be kind to it and of course, always punctuate with generous smiling.
Pashka, London P.S Need a wingman and sounding board! pashka@hotmail.co.uk - all comments welcome
1)
Me (to HB >7): Excuse me, don’t mean to be rude but did you used to be a man? (or if theres more than one - did you ladies used to be men?)
Her/them: what?! (surprise/offence)
Me: Well, you just can’t be too careful with girls these days, esp the quite pretty ones/the pretty ones with you know a bit of jawline/dodgy outfits etc (mime/point)
Her: …/whatever/no i’m not a man
Me: [pertinent response e.g. hey i didnt say the look's a bad thing just a bit confusing, followed by:] its just surgical ops are so commonplace these days, boob jobs in yer lunch hour, botox before dinner, seriously my best mate had his willy removed just before his sisters wedding… he did make a beautiful bridesmaid.
Her: smile/seriously!/whatever
Me: So look, I’m sorry but I’m still not convinced, you going to take take the ‘woman test’ or not?
Her: What?/The woman test?/whatever
Me: Yeah, the woman test.. what you’ve never heard about it!..uh oh.. well its just three simple, patented questions designed to tell whether someone really is a girl, nothing to worry about of course, that is if you really are female… (look suspicious)
[ok so i developed this for online chat precisely for its stated purpose but it translates well into real life, esp if theres more than one girl as you can play them off against each other. They should get everything right but if they get go wrong its great, gives an excuse to get all patronizing 'o baby its okay I quite like men' and kino]
Her/them: agreement or non agreement/uncertainty
Me to non-agreement/uncertainty: Well you don’t have to, if youre scared (cough and quietly) or a ladyboy.
Her/them: Agreement
Me: Oh I did mention each question’s timed didnt I, the longer you take the less of a girl you are…anyway question 1, ready?
Okay (get serious)…what colour do you prefer?..pink….or beige?
Her: … Pink! (smile)
Me: (rub her shoulder) See not too bad, just relax.. though you did have to think about that one didnt you, not entirely convincing (swiftly remove hand)! [if they go beige, i reckon the best response is prob 'blimey dont want to know what you get up to in the bedroom you filthy thing' wink and then move on to the next q.
[nb. questions two and three are interchangeable in order depending on the sort of conversation you want to go into next, I have only used it twice in real life and both times went with the order Ive set it down here because theres a chance they get the pill one wrong and then are relieved to get the last one right and you can go into a chat slagging off patrick swayze - leads to ghost and then demi moore fondling whoopi goldberg, anyway im getting ahead of myself..]
Me: Okay (mock serious again) second question, absolutely guaranteed no man will get this.. ready?..remember youre being timed… name.. a.. female.. contraceptive pill? (think you yanks would say birth control pill:)
Her: ……..ummmmmmm o shit whats it called….Evra!!! / sumthing else [when the girl answered this she kindof looked me in the eye quite seriously, (was taken aback for a sec) but I took it as daring me to say something cheeky - oblige! I replied in an understated manner...'Respect (ty neil)..i take that one too, controls my raging hormones'. If they can't remember, its an absolutely gift - tease away in whatever direction you like! If theye never taken one assess the situation and proceed carefully..]
Me: Okay okay, enough fun/not definitive/so far, sorry i didnt catch your names…oh okay well so far kates more of man than sarah etc… now the all important final question:
In the film ‘Dirty Dancing’, where Patrick Swayze plays a closet homosexual attempting to have a hetrosexual relationship…what….is the name….of the all famous final song?
Her: Time of my life!!!! (i dont know if thats even right but its always the answer given)
Me: And how does it go??
Her: ‘blah blah I’ve haaad the time of my life’
Me: Aww me too lady…(i guess that would be an opportune time to excuse yourself and number close if you want but instead I congratulated her for being a woman and told her that now she could buy me drink, we discussed patrick swayze and what made him so alluring (even as whoopi goldberg) I claimed to be a hotter dancer and got her to do a quick grind as i swivelled my hips, my mate cameover and I introduced him as the prettiest bridesmaid I knew (he didnt mind)..then the convo progressed to more chilled out life stuff and eventually I kiss closed.
Take care all who bothered to read, comments good or bad welcome
Ta to Donovan, all posters (and of course NS, M, DD).
Pashka
Comment by Pashka on 28 November 2007:
P.S. Would love to hear about anyones experience with my ‘woman test’ routine!
Comment by Pashka on 28 November 2007:
pashka@hotmail.co.uk
Comment by Pashka on 29 November 2007:
After re-reading, the opener part needs time constraint and context but thats not too diff problematic… excuse me ladies, we have to be moving at halp past but can you settle this argument between me and my friends.. are you men? etc
Comment by BOBBY on 29 November 2007:
Pashka, this girls must have low selfesteem to just wait around and let you waiste their time. I couldn’t even finish your “story”…get straight to the Cocky and Funny stuff my man…caught the chase!!
Comment by True(badore) on 4 December 2007:
Actually Bobby, I might disagree. That is to say, Pashka’s approach as he described it was not entirely cocky funny, but that’s not to say it wasn’t effective. Perhaps better suited for a different post as it stands now, with just a few C/F additions in the beginning it’s a great approach and leaves the possibility for a number of new strings. With the addition of time constraints, as he later mentioned, I think someone could do quite well with it. One thing I might suggest, however, is between the second and third question, don’t ask their names… rather, you might nickname them odd names, pointing out a foible or two (”Well, after round two it looks like Giraffe-neck here is a little more masculine than man-hands *point at each as you say it so they know who you’re talking about, then blow off their responses with a smirk and continue). It’s a great way to neg again, they’ll laugh–maybe make some contact (IOI), and it will make them want to give you their names in lieu of what you called them (IOI).
Remember you want to be in control, so don’t ask: make them tell. And Pashka, never, never say anyt