Are These Your Favorite Cocky and Funny Lines?

by Editor on January 25, 2007

A beautiful thing about David Deangelo‘s Cocky Comedy program is the fact that it gives you the formula for generating your own cocky and funny lines, and you can see it used properly by the guys that get results. Before I ask you for your FAVORITE COCKY AND FUNNY LINES, here is my disclaimer:

I’d like to break down a common notion that’s tossed throughout the community often. That is that you say cocky and funny lines and you get a certain response – attraction. Some men that are new to the concept of cocky and funny tend to use it ALL the time, never allowing the conversation to mature, gain rapport and are always staying on the superficial level of cocky and funny. DON’T LET THIS BE YOU.

A pure cocky and funny attitude is UNHEALTHY, and should not be used. David Deangelo has never supported this type of behavior. Guys that are insecure who have finally found this ‘holy grail’ tend to keep using it because they like the reactions the women are sending back. You need to sprinkle this formula in with your normal vibing, and rapport, just like you would a spice for a meal. Too much spice ruins the meal, too little and you can’t taste a thing.

I’ve noticed for myself as I’ve used the concept of cocky and funny, that I OVERDID it to begin with. I totally went hell-bent on cocky and funny lines, like, “Oh you love me” or the typical David Deangelo line “I’m glad you like it”. Yawn.

Let’s be proactive in using cocky and funny the RIGHT way.

My friend Stephen Nash broke it down when I had one-on-one coaching with him while visiting New York City. He basically told me,

“The brilliance of cocky and funny is that it’s flirting – pure and simple. Teasing is flirting. Cocky and funny is simply flirting. You flirt to gain attraction and interest, and to tell her that you know what’s going on, that you have social value, and you play this game. Once that’s accomplished, don’t get bogged down and only flirt, you need to build a connection, and show her your value in other areas of your life.”

So onto my favorite cocky and funny lines.

Remember they have to be “Cocky and FUNNY“. Some guys just don’t get the humor of it…

Example #1: (Just last Friday night)

Waitress comes over…
Waitress: “There you go” *hands me my to-go box*
Me: *I look at the box with a curious face* “Where’s the… ahh… number?”
Waitress: “Oh you give that to me”
Me: *Putting my hand on my head, and looking down almost looking embarrassed* “You know you come to a place like this expecting… *sigh* a certain level of professionalism and you get this…” (With a smile at the end)
Waitress: *snatches the box and comes back with her number written*

Example 2:

Her: Do you have a pen?
Me: Yeah, and I’ll let you use it to write your number down for me.

Example 3:

You: Tonight is your lucky night
Her: Oh really? Why is that?
You: Because you finally got to go out with me
Her: Sure!
You: But no touching… I… do all the touching!

Example 4:

Me: It’s tough to be such a sex symbol.

Example 5:

Me: “Listen, I’m sorry for being out of touch, I’ve been very, very busy. But I’m available now… (suddenly changing tone of voice, like a salesman) …but only for a limited time only, at a low, low price of $14.99 an hour!”

What are your favorite lines? Got any examples of cocky and funny (flirting)?

If you’d like to learn proper techniques for crafting your own cocky and funny lines and how it will help your game with women, take quick peek at some of the video clips over at David Deangelo’s Cocky Comedy site.

{ 458 comments… read them below or add one }

LEWIS WOOD January 26, 2007 at 1:02 am

eg 1 ,

Her : lets get a drink .
Me : Oh please tell me your not planning on geting me drunk so you can try and seduce me .

eg 2 ,

Me : Waddup fool!
Her : Huh , fool eh …..( punch in arm )

eg 3 ,

Me : Were you just checking out my ass ……

eg 4,

Me : ( i did this while talking to a girl on the bus ) – So do you oftern try to seduce guys on the bus .

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Marco Polo January 26, 2007 at 1:54 am

You know, I am bored with girls always trying to seduce me. I would like to try something different. Let`s pretend that I am interested in you. Just try to hide your desire for me and let me work my magic on you.

……after few more lines that emphasise my self confidence and humor….. (add semi/erotic kino in this)…..

Wow, this is great. You are really good. I should reward your efforts in not pressuring me and just listening. I am tempted to allow you to kiss me.

….after that wheter she kisses me or not everything is so easy…. She is in my ocean and I am the shark and it is only mather of time when will I bite her

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Marco Polo January 26, 2007 at 2:15 am

Hi, I am Marco Polo from Croatia!

This is my first post ever on any seducction related sites, blogs or forums. I am 28, lived my whole life not knowing anything about existing anything like this community. Some guy I met a month ago(friend of a friend) told me about NS “The Game” and after I read it I realised how many of the things that are mentioned I was already using by not knowing that even have names, like Kino, AMOGing and Cock/funny especially. My game (that I didn`t even knew that exist in that way) was full of this things. This guy asked me what is my game, how do I pick up girls, what are my lines and method, I just said:” I don`t know, I just approach and do everything naturally. Than he started with terms like methods, lines, mirroring, PUA`s, Courtney Love….. and I was like WTF is this freak talking about?? Now, everything is much clearer. I am in happy realtionship and I think about this whole thing as a cute hobby, but I can`t deny that some of these things started to become helpfull in building better relationships in other asspects of life.

Picking up was always pretty easy and natural thing, but it is great about reading about it from such “scientific” approach.

Take care!

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Danger Lover January 26, 2007 at 6:46 am

One of my favorite lines is the age thing.

HER: How old are you?
ME: Good question…i stopped counting at 69
HER: Hahaha, For an old geezer you look pretty good.
ME: *sigh* what a lame pick up line, how young are you?

If she’s older then me:
HER: You’re such a charmer, too bad you’re too young for me.
ME: That’s okay “grandma”, i’ll change your daiper, you change mine. I believe in equality in a relationship.
HER: Hahaha, grandma?! (slap on the arm or they just crack up. wich i then proceed to my stern face and continue the next topic)

Thanx for posting this, Donovan. I’ve been wondering why sometimes the c&f doesn’t work, cuz now that i have a flashback of all the times i did..i realize i overdid it. It makes the gals be affraid to say something thinking you will make fun of it. (predictable and we know that predictable=boring)

-R!
Cheers!

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Matt Savage January 26, 2007 at 7:52 am

Here’s my favorite C&F line:

Whenever I go to a bar/club and a hired gun asks to see my ID, I always say, “Well I do look young, I can’t help my boyish good looks:)”

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Donovan January 26, 2007 at 8:37 am

Nice. Anyone else?

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groovyG January 26, 2007 at 9:58 am

somewhere into the conversation with her, i’ll throw in out of nowhere:

- you’re just planning to use me for my body and throw me away later, right? i don’t trust women anymore :)

if i offer her to come home with me, i immediately add, while waving my finger in a reprimanding manner:

- but don’t you dare to try to have sex with me! i need to feel trust between us first :)

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Hero January 26, 2007 at 12:23 pm

I’m cracking up whilst reading your lines.. I’ll have to keep some of those.. I haven’t come up with any of my own yet but best belive that I will =)

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Freak January 26, 2007 at 10:04 pm

-If she asks you to guess her age…
-answer: Do you want me to guess older or younger? ;)
most girls love this!!

and cocky & funny should never be used during the whole time! makes you goofy or weird… mix it like chili. just a lil bit is awesome and to much is…
good luck

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Steve January 27, 2007 at 10:04 pm

When u ask her to do somthing simple and she is taking a long time to do it or is not being as compliant as u like

“I know honey….it hard….” (Act Simpathetic)

When u tell her a joke and she doesn’t laugh cause she didn’t get it:
“You’ll get that one TOMMAROW moring… (then keep repeating tommarow in an exaterated voice till she laughes if she didn’t already)”

ME: I’m looking for a new style for my clothing and i was wounder if u have any recommendations.
SHE: Uhhh..well…lets see. There is (blah blah blah)
Me: *Cut her of in the middle of her sentence* So, where do u shop from?
SHE: Oh…i shop at *store*
ME:I’m just playing with you. I’m not looking for a style i’m perfect as is. I just wanted to get u to admite were u shop from.

PS:I’m new at C&F so i was wounder if u guys could give me some feed back. Besides that the obove have been field tested.

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Donovan January 28, 2007 at 12:07 am

Kill the last one, the others were OK. Alot of the funny, comes out in body language, depending on that, they could work.

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Jermaine January 28, 2007 at 1:58 pm

I think the best one is when you ask her what does she do, and she says whatever, you reply ‘I hope it pays well so you can support us both. Just so you know, I’m not planing to work or anything, just sit around and watch TV. That is what I always wanted.’ There are variations to this but it’s great.

At Marco Polo, hey man you are the first I know that is into this from that area. I’m from Srbija. I don’t think there are many guys from around here that know about this. I don’t know is this one of those forums that allow only english so that’s why I used it. Write back man. Bye

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Tambo January 28, 2007 at 3:31 pm

I have come up with some great c&f lines over the last few months. Here are some of my favorite. I have used all these before.

“Why are you trying to start something, you are so sexually agressive.” (whenever she tries to give me a kiss or hold hands or anything like that, note: I use this with women I have been with sexually already, but use as you wish.)

Her: Do you plan on getting married?
Me: I don’t know, maybe if she’s rich. I’ll marry her, then divorce her and take half her money.

Her: Why do you.. (could be about anything.)
Me: Cuz I’m awesome.

I can’t think of the rest, right now. Most come so naturally now that I don’t even remeber them later on.

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Marco Polo January 29, 2007 at 1:46 am

Jermaine,

My e-mail is fistbbb@yahoo.com feel free to contact me.

Like I said, this is only a hobby, but a very dangerous hobby. Whats your story?

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Tambo January 29, 2007 at 2:39 am

I just watched the movie “The Guardian” last night. During this one scene Ashton Kutcher’s character delivered the following line while he was dancing with this hot girl, “you can stop undressing me with your eyes, I’m not going to sleep with you tonight.” Of course in the next scene they were in bed together.

Nice.

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tony January 30, 2007 at 4:02 am

Ok in a clothes shop just about to go in the changing room and you say to the female assistant

“Ok no peeking”
and she’ll probably laugh!

Me: “do they train you to smile to the customers here?”
Her: “no”
Me: “shame, because on a scale of 1 to 10 that was about a 4!”

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Sting January 30, 2007 at 5:38 am

Hi Donovan,
just wanted to add a quick validation to your take on C & F and how one develops on it.

Brushing past overdoing it and offending the girl (which most of have done) – I went through a weird phase that’s pretty funny. and was very “what do i do now?” clueless when it was going on.

At the time, all i knew about was David D.’s cocky and funny – never heard about or thought about ‘qualifying’ or even ‘comfort building’. David’s standard response to the question of “when can i stop this and get to know the girl normally” used to be “why stop doing whats working?”
i would reach these scenes where the girl would REALLY be opening up to me – telling me stuff about her childhood, her health problems, something about her parents relationship… deep, personal stuff in short.
and i had no clue what to do about it!
I figured out for myself that c & f might not be a good idea(!), but then what? after a few just-staying-quiet goes, i came up with a series of neutral encourager comments – “oh, really?”
“oh, yes?”
“hmmm.”
“wow, thats intense.” etc.
to bridge through to the lay.
there are more elegent ways of building comfort! but for all the more sophisticated stuff, C & F remains one of the best attraction tools out there – especially to start with, as its something thats easily workable.
on a more advanced scale, IMO the main attraction switch is social proof – but you have to work upto the point where you can gain that easily and with grace. c & f is much easier to start with – even in uncalibrated cases, its different enough from the norm that it’ll get a guy a bit of attention at the least.

cheers,
Sting

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style January 31, 2007 at 11:06 pm

wow

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spade February 2, 2007 at 9:11 am

Cocky Funny works great. I began to get away from it for awhile when I discovered the larger community. I was trying to focus more on my sarges and developing routines etc, but I’m starting to come back to it. I’ll throw a few of my recent favs out there.

Her: (says something interesting or cool somewhere toward the beginning of the sarge)

Me: Wow, your the coolest person I’ve met in the past five minutes. Your my new best friend. Just do me a favor and don’t tell my mom that we met in a bar.

(I know, I know, I just realized that this isn’t really cocky/funny, but delivered correctly, it will elicite a laugh…never a bad thing.)

Her (If she’s wearing a large brimmed hat like girls will often do during summer months)

Me: Hey, I like your hat. Where did you get it? I’m going to Mexico in a couple of months and I’m looking for a good sombrero. It gets awful hot down there.

Her: Here’s my number, let me just write it down for you.

Me: Thank you. Perhaps we’ll hang out.

Her: Sure, I’d like that.

Me: But only if you have some hot friends to introduce me to.

Hope this helps gentlemen.

Keep Digging,

Spade
guysmiley_1980@yahoo.com

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LEWIS WOOD February 6, 2007 at 11:51 am

If she is dressed slutty – ” so do you always go around dressed like a hooker ”

If she gets pissed off – ” oh poor baby is throwing a tantrum ”

If she has on some cool outfit – ” wow you look great its amazing how good a 10 $ outfit looks ”

She says do i look great – ” Well it will be ok but its going to embarrasing hanging around you “

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A. Woman April 21, 2012 at 12:26 am

You’re a prick. These WILL get you slapped.

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AlphaT August 2, 2012 at 4:22 pm

No it won’t. These are the best ones so far from my experience. Especially the outfit one. Rock on dawg.

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glfdsjg November 2, 2012 at 9:03 am

How gay :/

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spade February 6, 2007 at 1:31 pm

Lewis Wood:

Re the first one. It could work definately, but context and tonality are key here. Equating a woman with a hooker is in most cases just not a good idea. Just be careful how you use it. You don’t want to get slapped, or worse yet get a kick to your netheregion. After all, there are future generations to think about.

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Andrew February 6, 2007 at 5:38 pm

(After using C+F on her for awhile) She says: “your too mean to me sometimes (laughing) tell me 2 positive things about me just to make up for it.” I said: “Okay.. hmm.. you laugh alot.. That’s kinda a positive thought and you have okay lips, I would prefer better ones, but I guess yours will do fine for now.” She is pretty shocked and she says “My lips happen to be great and big.” and I said “uh huh (sarcastically but serious) If thats what puts you to sleep at night then okay..” She says: “I have big lips” and I said “If you consider thinner then a pencil lips to be big then you have the biggest” and she then whispered: “Someday soon I will show you what these lips can do.”

Hot diggidy damn! I swear that is true, every word… She basicly said she was gonna either makeout with me or go down on me… That’s the only successful one besides the usual c&f stuff… It might not be the best, but it captures the idea and the result was about the same as expected if you get good with it… That is my best story though..

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Andrew February 16, 2007 at 7:28 pm

is that a good line? Another scenario is when a HB came up to me to ask me a question and she said “hey hey hey (her question)” I said ” “hey hey hey” has a name you know..” her eyes lit up and she laughed a little and she said in reply “well then.. what is your name?” I said “Andrew” gave eye contact, smirked right in front of her she smiled and I walked away without a word (I know I will see this girl alot more now.. so thats why I didn’t continue, but will next time)

Maybe I read this in a David DeAngelo newsletter, but I thought of a scenario that when your walking with your girl hip check her a little (but make it a little obvious) and blame it on her and then when she says but you did it then maybe either right after or a couple minutes later do it to her again, but don’t do it too aggressively she might get hurt (or you if shes tough enough) and then blame it on her, but make sure that you do it more playfully cause then she might get mad or something could go wrong, but its a more physical cocky funny trick that works if done correctly… I don’t know if I can take the credit for it though, so I won’t

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Eric February 22, 2007 at 2:59 pm

Here’s a few.

Her:
Me: WAAAAAHHH! (really funny, makes her laugh and calls you a jerk or something. Great stuff)

Me: I like your shoes. I bet they looked great when they were new.

A good thing to do with waitresses is to play tic tac toe with them. They love this, and will be easier to score off a phone number by the time you’re done.

Her:
Me: I don’t usually let any girl see my ID. They could be psychopathic stalkers or something.

Her: Why does (such and such happen)
Me: Because you touch yourself at night.
THIS WORKS TRUST ME (thank god for family guy)

Her: (If she punches or hits you)
Me: Man, my dead grandma hits harder than you.

Good luck :)

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Eric February 22, 2007 at 3:17 pm

One more thing to add

If a girl wears a lot of make-up, tell her

Me: You know, (girls name), I like you a lot and we’re friends and everything, plus please, the next time me meet, PLEASE where make-up.

Good stuff. :)

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Toph March 5, 2007 at 12:01 pm

Curious to know what mix of nationalities we’ve got here. Cocky and funny, or funny at least, must depend on some notional sense of humour which is a very subjective thing. Basically, what i’m soft-soaping here is that i found very little humour in any of these lines, the exception being Eric’s “Because you touch yourself at night” – brilliant. Now this may be because i am a cynical and sarcastic English guy; it may be that the lines aren’t funny; it may be that laugh at loud hilarious isn’t the important thing here…

How about subverting some very old, very tired chat-up lines -

Me – You know heaven’s missing an angel tonight…
Her – Rolls eyes, is generally unimpressed.
Me – Yeah, I snuck down when God was teaching Ray Charles to Hula Hoop. Damn you gotta be so goooood in that place and i feel baaaaaad.

Untested, but i like the idea. What do you folks reckon ?

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kh March 11, 2007 at 2:48 pm

if she dressed slutty
me: Are you the kind of girl my mom always asked me to stay away

she is talking (blah blah blah), after you have some sort of rapport.
me: you know, it should be illegal to be pretty like you
she: why /what?
me: I would have accident, if I see you driving next to me. Can’t take my eyes of you!

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BOUNCER April 16, 2012 at 10:01 pm

kh March 11, 2007 at 2:48 pm

“if she dressed slutty
me: Are you the kind of girl my mom always asked me to stay away

she is talking (blah blah blah), after you have some sort of rapport.
me: you know, it should be illegal to be pretty like you
she: why /what?
me: I would have accident, if I see you driving next to me. Can’t take my eyes of you!”
ALL THESE ARE IOI’s Not Cocky Funny!
Cocky Funny would be:
Me: I kinda feel bad
Her: Why?
Me: I caused an accident today
Her: How?
Me: Some girl was driving while checking me out, and she crashed into a pole!

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galincha August 20, 2012 at 9:26 am

bouncher your a real player

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Donovan March 21, 2007 at 4:38 pm

Thanks for the lines. Lets get more.

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E.V March 23, 2007 at 3:58 pm

just read a couple of lines iam bored so might as well help since iam here right?

Your joking around with her and she gets mad

she : you hurt my feelings

you: You have feelings? when did this happen?

haha what do you people think only line i can think of right now sice i used it yestarday :P lol

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Tirath March 27, 2007 at 1:39 pm

Cocky and funny comes so naturally to me now…That u gimme any sentence and I’ll turn it around n u’ll get a gr8 cocky anf funny line… No rushes plzzz… One at a time… Or else I’ll charge u guys… (look its already started)..
Well I av taken a lot of time and effort to learn it… But I think If anyone here wants to learn it… Drop me a mail at :tirath5u@gmail.com N I’ll see wat can be done..

Here are just a couple of effortless lines Created and percieved by ME and Only Me..

Her: Hey wat you doin?
Me: Y? wat r u plannin to do for me? (N then b4 she answers n e crap cut her off start a new thread as though u know she is capable of nothin..)

Her: You are not my type… ( A serious one now..I know many of u hear this…So here is My remedy for u guys)
Me: I know silly.. I just bought tickets to watch ur “types” at our local ZOO… (Then just keep lookin at her… DOnt get heated up while saying it ,,Or it may sound as though u r insulting her…Kepp kool all the time…

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Penis o Malley March 28, 2007 at 1:39 pm

Got sum gud ones

She : I have a boyfriend
You : And whats that got to do with the price of cabbage?
or Do get all personal on me just yet , i only want to kick it with you for a couple of minutes.

She ; (makes a joke)
You ; Your funny
She ; Thanks ( or something like that)
You ; Ya funny lookin

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oleg April 2, 2007 at 11:59 am

I love this one

me: your arms are hairy
her: (laugh)
me: you should shave them just like you shave your legs
you do shave your legs dont you?

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SexyShedden April 15, 2007 at 7:32 pm

..aite guys this is the situation when the girl was trying to act like shes all that and ect..so i decided to put her in her place
Her- (does something clumsy)
Me- wow..how do the guys keep off of you…its a wonder..(say with a straight face)
Her- Well that funny because at college (or bar) the guys cant stay off of me (she smirks)
Me- well yea, but thats only cause the guys there at college drink alot.
Her….(priceless look than laughs).

needless to say that look of hers was a “Kodak” moment, tell me what u guys think. peace and gl.

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brick April 16, 2007 at 12:44 am

Nice lines guys! Im not sure where i got this line but i loove it! it has sooo many uses.. recently i used it at a party,

if a girl makes any physical advance on you at all such as: hug, kiss, hold hands (be creative)
you: you know,… i usually charge for that.

this works great if you are leaving and go in for the goodybye hug kiss whatever.

i was at a party and said it pretty early on when she hugged me or something, her first response was.. “will you make an exception for me?” and we made out like 3min. later hooray.

I also like saying stuff like “yah im kinda a big deal” or “wow you actually got to hang out with me, there is usually a waiting list”
fun stuff, later guys!

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some bloke April 16, 2007 at 4:05 pm

Here’s one example that left a good impression on a girl I met in a club a while back.

Girl: Hi.
Me: Are you one of these aggressive local girls I keep meeting?
Girl: No!
Me: Are you sure? You look quite aggressive…
Girl: (laughing) Shut up! (punches me in the arm)
Me: (clutching my arm pretending to be in real pain) See I knew you were aggressive!

I also like asking questions where there is no right answer.

Me: Are you single?
Girl: Yes.
Me: I bet you wonder why!

or

Girl: No.
Me: Your boyfriend must be very brave to put up with you!

Keep them coming fellas…

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Latocki April 17, 2007 at 4:11 pm

Some of these lines you guys are tossing out are kinda chessy but there’s some good stuff in here. Anyway, on to my little encounter. I notice sometimes girls like to throw out a bit of cock block before sex is even mentioned. The other night i went to go see 300 with a female acquaintance of mine. We were talking up at the concession I don’t quite remember all the details of the conversation, but one piece of gold jumped out at me.

Her: I mean, i’m not sleeping with you.

Me: haha, whatever. (purchases large coke from cashier)

Her:(in a pouty tone) Why aren’t you getting Mr.Pibb?

Me: You’re not sleeping with me (wry smile and a wink)

The look on her face was priceless. I think you guys know. The wide mouthed, speechless face. She ended up earning her Mr.Pibb later that night.

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Sega April 18, 2007 at 2:43 pm

I just came up with this one a few months back when I went sarging with Capt. Alex. We were leaving the club and I saw a bunch of girls about to take a pic, so I ran up to the one that had the camera and was like “Wait, wait, wait!” They all loked at me and tought I was gona offer to take the pic for then so the one with the camera could be in it 2. When she started to motion to give me the camera, I said “You guys need some eye candy on this pic!” and walked towards the group, they looked confused for a second then they all smiled and were all tring to get next to me on the pic. Form then on they all were calling me eye candy and flirting with me. Me and my friend did some more C&F and mixed a couple of negs. It worked like a charm and I used it a few times since then, always with good results. Btw, Capt. Alex closed a porn star that was in that group that night.

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sarah April 18, 2007 at 3:03 pm

wow this site is funny, men giving men advice on women with pick up lines, have you ever considered asking women about women? I liked the lines where the guy make a statement/acts offended that you usually here woemn make and the lines where he is joking about being to good/sexy/smarts but some of these “lines” are not only cheesy but just make you look retarded any guy who uses an obvious pickup line is considered lame and maybe a whore. I agree with the cocky and funny part being good… in moderation.Respect is important.

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Chris April 22, 2007 at 10:32 pm

ok listen you should never say anything that women would find offensive like calling them a bitch or a hoe or any other obscenity. anything else you should consider fair game to tease her about seriuosly.

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DoGz April 23, 2007 at 6:45 am

sarah dear, respect is important – thats why these lines work
mutual respect- the respect bratty girls give out is what they recieve in turn
understand?

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Dominick May 19, 2007 at 5:00 am

Lots of good stuff here. Keep up.

Sometimes a woman will antagonize you, bounce back and start becoming stubborn to test your assertiveness and so forth. A way to counter this is to lean back, look her for a few secs and go like:

`Do you know _why_ I am smarter than you? Cause when God told us to select heads for ourselves YOU went for `THICK’. _I_ went for `AIR-TIGHT’. Don’t confuse these two types. They are different.’

Just my 2c. Cheers folks. Be safe.

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andi May 19, 2007 at 8:51 pm

At school: i was walking in the halls and a really hot chick bumps into me walking the opposite, she says sorry but i say: its ok you can touch me all you want ;)

Or if she asks to sit next to you say : do you bite?
Or if she sits first and then asks say: its ok i dont bite :)

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andi May 19, 2007 at 8:52 pm

Im hot.

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Kyle May 24, 2007 at 9:37 pm

Her: I have a boyfriend

Me: That’s alright, I’m not the Jealous type

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Kyle May 24, 2007 at 9:42 pm

Me: Has anyone ever told you that you look like Jessica Alba (could be anyone)

Her: No

Me: oh, that’s only cause you don’t (with smile)

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Kyle May 24, 2007 at 9:45 pm

Me: Have you ever driven in a Ferrari before?

Her: *as she’s walking to the car* No

Her: I thought you said you drove a Ferrari

Me: No, I asked you if you’ve ever driven in one before

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Lowry May 27, 2007 at 11:13 pm

When she asks to sit down next to you:
“It’s ok, I only bite on request”.

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Struttus May 31, 2007 at 4:31 am

Ermm. nono. what u gotta say when she its down is..

me:”what’up..”
her: hey.
goes to sit down..”chair squeeks”
me ” oh!! what? sighs*”
her” what?
Me: “nothing, you can sit there just dont talk to me ok? in a sarcastic tone :)

and If she replys.. its on.. take it from there.. Try to use as much body language in ur chair like high satus and so on!.. Its so much better if you do

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El Star June 1, 2007 at 4:37 pm

After a waitress screws up in some insignificant way …

Me: [Open menu and look for something] Say, how much would it cost to order a new waitress?

(careful, if you don’t deliver this the right way, you might end up with spit, or worse, in your food)

Her: Come with me (or some other request)
Me: Listen, you’re going to have to fill out and submit a formal request just like everyone else that wants to hang out with me. There’s no special treatment for semi-cute girls.

Her: [tells a joke] (or at least tries)
Me: [yelling] Everyone … everyone stop …. (her name) just told a joke!

(kind of like a “stop the presses” tone)

From The Departed, when you’re hanging out

Her: Next time we go out (yadda yadda)
Me: [totally serious face] Who says I want to go out with you again? [awkward pause] … I’m just kidding …. but you should have seen the look on your face.

That’s a neg AND C&F

This one is always effective and can be varied in a lot of ways:

Me: How about I ask you to [hang out, go out for dinner, etc.], then you pretend like you’re thinking about it for a while, just long enough to make me think you’re actually not going to come. Meanwhile, I’ll make all the arrangements, then you accept my invitation like you’ve been wanting to do since I asked … sound like fun?

It’s “control her universe,” a bit of role playing, and C&F. You basically can tell her that you’re going to play games together, but you’re scripting the whole thing.

Another variation:

Alicia: What are you doing tonight.
Me: I’m going to (place) and doing (activity) with Alicia.

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J.R. "Bob" Dobbs June 1, 2007 at 4:42 pm

This is the lamest bunch of crap that I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure I would be utterly bored by any woman dumb enough to be interested in any of that high school jive.

Oh well… back to being alone and hating life.

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phillip June 2, 2007 at 9:30 am

she: what are you studying after school?
him: i wanted to be a plastic surgeon,to see boobs..but it didnt happen

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JB June 3, 2007 at 10:00 am

darn this is a new world..im going to have a new life from now!keep it up guys..you are going to change my life.

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Sio June 5, 2007 at 6:28 am

when there is a general “awkward” silence:

Me: Has anyone ever told you you talk too much?
Her: Yes
Me: Yeah, well they shouldnt have…

Also very cool is using the “hand gestures” that ross and monica used instead of “f@@@@ you” …. i think joey also had one for the episode that chandler slept with joeys girlfriend…. all from friends. This is especially funny to girls who have watched or watch friends !!!!

General comeback line: Go shave yourself

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Jesse June 6, 2007 at 6:52 pm

If she gives you any canned insult: you’re gay, stupid, lame, etc
me: good one, in what grade did you learn that one
her: shutup!
me: that one was first grade right?
her: starts anything else
me: -interrupt- (start using any first grader talk) fart-face, smelly-butt, etc. but in a very serious way

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Royas June 7, 2007 at 4:27 pm

you’re back into “ordinary” conversation…

Her : “bla bla bla”
Me : “nod, make out I’m interested”
Her : “more bla bla”
Me : “suddently let my head drop and pretend to snore”

As you look back up she’ll have that slightly pissed off smile or give a chick punch.

This small joke can be re-used 2/3 times, typical comical repetition ;)

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steph June 9, 2007 at 1:21 pm

I like this one very mutch

me)hey you look friendly what your name
her)her name
me)i whait till she ask my name im looking directly in her eyes
her)what yours
me)my friend call me steph but you can call me stephane
her)why cant i call you steph
me)You will if you do well in the next few minutes

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Andrew June 11, 2007 at 10:27 pm

*She sits down next to you
me – So you think you can sit next to me huh?

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Darrell June 22, 2007 at 3:46 pm

Me: Can I buy you a drink…or do you just want the money?

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Arsh June 23, 2007 at 5:34 pm

Something I really like doing, reply “Yeah Right” to ANYTHING they say. I find it priceless. They will act all annoyed and stuff, but trust me they dig on it. Thats why they keep coming back for more.

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Arsh June 23, 2007 at 5:35 pm

Or if she asks you a favor, ask her what you will get in exchange. A classic David D!

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din June 26, 2007 at 2:55 am

I want cocky n funny sms msgs

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pao June 27, 2007 at 6:22 am

my simple cocky funny lines

me: hi
her: elow
me: how r u
her: fine
me: nice meeting u
her: u too
me: bye….(w/ a smile)

hehe…hope u like it.

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Andeee June 27, 2007 at 9:52 pm

THe post above was stupid….

Anyways, I was recently sitting with a girl at school when she started singing a song, she then said, “this song can get annoying sometimes” I said yeah when you sing it” She had that wide mouthed face and gave me a little punch in the arm, works really well. She basicly set herself up for that one :)

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Ricky June 28, 2007 at 2:38 am

you know guys i always knew i have the c&f stuff in me, but i was to shy.Lucky me i`m not anymore:) and i feel like don juan demarco now hahaha.
here is my c&f stuff, i know you are all despaired to hear me, have patience.haha
her: hi
me: hi, so tell me how long do you planing to stay in my town this summer?
her: 2 mounts.
me: WHAT???!!!!Aha i know what your plan is, you will stay here for me, but you`ll need 2 years!
her: why 2?
me: Because i`m not that easy ;)
her:(normaly, laught)

me: i see your hair is changed you are red now, and you are beautiful too!
her: Thanks, realy, am i beautiful?!
me: Yes, but don`t compare with me, i don`t want you to suffer!
(i hope you understand because my english i not that good);)
GREETINGS TO ALL!

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Andeee June 28, 2007 at 1:34 pm

Him: Hey are you single
Her: No i have a boyfriend
Him: So are you bored of him yet?
Her: Haha, no.
Him: So how long have you been with him?
Her: # of years or whatever…
Him: Wow hes a brave guy..
Her: why is that?
Him: becuase he has to put up with you all the time
Her: laugh

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Dan da man November 2, 2012 at 9:16 am

Haha this is great!

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manuel June 29, 2007 at 10:39 am

Me: I wasn’t expecting to meet someone beutiful tonight

She: Thanks

Me: mmm but, maybe I will
————————————————————–
Me: You look nice

She: Thanks

Me: If I weren’t here, I would say you are the sexiest person in this room.

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D July 6, 2007 at 6:31 pm

“Nice shoes, goodwill must be finally getting some nice stuff in.”

Me: so u have a BF?
Her: yea
Me: Great! Now I finally have someone who can make me breakfast!

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jason July 9, 2007 at 12:51 pm

I’m on a date with a girl and she notices my outfit and says to me, “You’re looking sporty tonight.” And I reply: “You’re looking…um…You’re looking…Sorry, I can’t think of anything to compliment you on. You should work on that.” She laughs and then procedes to rip my clothes off and screw me silly in public

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elektrip July 12, 2007 at 8:11 am

1) Some days ago I was sitting in the train and a girl passed by, making eye contact and smiled, she was about to leave at the next station. I was a second too late to react (longer than 3sec.) so I stood up, went to her, looked straight in her eyes and said:
“What, we don’t even know each other yet and you’re already running away from me?”. (maybe poor english translation, sorry)

2) Another day in the train, again some girl smiles, makes eye contact while leaving the train, and since I got rid of my inner wuss I said: “This is not the right station, I’ll leave two stations later…”

3) Again in public transport, a girl walked past the seat next to me and I almost yelled out (making sure all in the bus could hear me): “You’ll have the privilege to sit next to me…I’ll bite, but mostly it doesn’t hurt that much”.

Since a few months I say things I never thought I’d have the balls for. Being cocky/funny with friends naturally, but “nice guy” with the ladies. I always loved to take a risk but I’d playing it safe with the girls. Not anymore, now with approaching women too. Now I don’t fear nothing in life!

Another thing, on a good day, I can come up with the most funny s*hit that perfectly suits the situation, spontaneously and instant. Since I really think I’m original I don’t even try to use canned lines..it has to come out of me naturally and I think any canned line just doesn’t fit my personality or better put, don’t suffice my standards. I’m good with language (german, that is) and word plays, so on a bad day, I just don’t approach women rather than forcing it and then messing it up because I wouldn’t have enough follow-up substance to take it further…

I’m 31 years now and I never ever dated any women (being a superwuss of all wussys to new girls…but I always thought I’m a cool guy just not discovered yet;), the few occasions I had where pure luck or I didn’t care and was just cool! Not anymore so. Luck doesn’t apply, I’m more alpha-male now etc…so I went from zero to hero, having now 3 girls in line to date, all met in 1 month now (and I stopped by now to have them handled/scheduled first).

I feel I can have every women I want now. All 3 girls think I’m a super hero and they’re verrrry interested. I’n fact, the first girl ever in my life I asked for a phone number (recently!) asked me, while I’m typing my no. into her phone:

“Are you sure you can handle all your numbers?”
I was hard pressed not to laugh out loud so I remained cool outside, felt like a fckn king and said:
“No it’s really annoying, I hope the Apple iPhone will have enough storage to put in all the contacts…”.

I’m smiling everyday now (it’s unreal!) and don’t miss a beat when I feel to play outside. However to make a long story short, my detailed “success story” goes to David D. soon and I hope he includes it in the newsletter. Stay tuned guys!

Another opener I recently did in a bar, that took my last fear of approaching women and further grew my balls: I looked for the obviously most beautiful woman in that bar, one that knows it.

Me: Hello
She: Hi
Me: You know, you’re not that attractive and I guess you are not approached very often so I thought I’ll give you the chance to talk with me. Maybe you’re leastwise rich!”.
She: HAHAHAA!
(OK I read somewhere some similar “line” and so I’ll share the credit to whoever said that similar thing ;)

Another one I want to try (not field-tested yet).

Me: Wow I like your shoes and your handbag
She: Thank you (probably bored)
Me: Unfortunately they don’t match. I think you need a style consultant when you go out shopping next time.
She: Really? Haha.
Me: Call me, if you need someone with aesthetic-stylistic confidence (not empty words, I do have style and know aesthetics/design stuff).

(sorry for bad english..I think it’s difficult to speak eloquent in english b/c so many words or nuances just don’t exist in that language…)

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Royas July 13, 2007 at 11:19 am

Speaking with the chick, enventually you pop out the question :

Me: So, what’s your kind of guy ?
Her : “bla bla bla, whatever dork”
If you don’t push the answer nine times out of ten she’ll then ask you what kind of women you’re into, to wich you reply :

Me: Well to be honest I’m a real f**** machine, I never stop sleeping with chicks. I have an amazing sucess rate with women ranging from 65 to 80 and, when I’m feeling like getting the younger stuff I go for shave headed tatoo sporting fat chicks.
But hey don’t feel threatened, maybe if I shaved a few patches of hair on you we could date, or become friends, I’m not decided yet ;)

I speak rather loudly in the beginning of the answer so I seem cocky talking about screwing a lot of chicks. Then as she pictures the women I describe she’ll have a great smile on her face.

P.S. Congrats to elektrip for his better life change ;)

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Sam July 16, 2007 at 5:28 am

you dont need to do all that and think of something as silly as these lines to say to get a partner,my advice is be yourself to get some one that is compatible with u, u dont have to date a girl and TRY to remember OH what ur age granny lines to impress ,, the momement you try to impress she will sence it or he will, and think u are to dumb u need to prove urself to impress her/him, so this is the mistake,just be yourself, relax dnt need to think much and use ur brains extra to impress..any other probs you need advices mail me to TahanSamir At hotmail and if u are a person looking for a nite only dont mail, just go to a whore house TC

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Shervin July 19, 2007 at 3:35 pm

Manuel, those where awesome :-)

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Samuel July 31, 2007 at 12:26 am

This happend to me at a party like two weeks ago:

Im sitting and talking to some people when this hot chick comes up to me and says “Hey, i know you. I photographed you for some magazine bla bla bla (wich i dont remember)”.
I say something like “Sorry, i dont remember. People do that all the time.”, she laughs, and we start a conversation.
Just a minute later my friend calls me up on my cellphone, and instead of answering myself, i reach the phone to her (i didnt feel like talking to him anyway at that time..) and tells her to answer. They talk for a short while (about the party, who she is etc..) and then reaches back the phone to me; wherupon i say to my friend with a playful voice: “Are you trying to steel my girl?”
It whas really funny, and she laughed a lot.
(we didnt end up doing anything since i whas there with another girl, but what do you think about it?)

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Mik August 1, 2007 at 4:03 pm

Here’s some good ones I use all the time and they work.

Her:Do you wanna chill tonight?
Me: Maybe, as long as you don’t take advantage of me:P
Her:I can’t make any promises.:P

Her: What are you doing tonight?
Me: If your trying to sleep with me you don’t need a lame excuse:P
Her: haha well in that case:P

Always seem to work

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Igor August 2, 2007 at 8:59 pm

What a bunch of losers.

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Mikiah August 6, 2007 at 10:32 pm

Sometimes to start a conversation or during the middle of a conversation, I’ll bust out an obvious pick up line that’s really funny. I say it in a tone like i know it’s a pick up line so it doesn’t come across as being cheesy.

Me: so when we wake up at my place in the morning, how do you want your eggs… scrambled or fertilized?

I get smiles 100% of the time.

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jay d August 17, 2007 at 1:53 am

you say this to a girl you’ve gone out with for just a about two dates.so on the third date u r like;

“Hey, i noticed u like me a lot , in fact u love me.Well, thats a criminal offence.the judge has sentenced u to life time with me .how do u plead ??”.

i know it will work for u guyz. becos its worked 4 moi.

Try it out.

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Annie August 19, 2007 at 9:31 pm

It’s good to be confident and flirtatious. But quite a few of these lines came off as either slightly insulting, or it makes you come across as a bit of a gigolo. Just know that there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of self-effacing humor! We girls like confidence, certainly, but we like guys who are down-to-earth at the same time. It’s hard to find a good balance. If you spout off these arrogant, holier-than-thou lines right off the bat, she’s going to think that you consider yourself too good for her. Now guys, would you be interesting in dating a woman who acts like she’s out of your league? Probably not. No one wants to hang around someone who lowers their self-esteem, even if only by a small amount. Even if you are just trying to get laid.

To be honest, if some of these lines were used on me, I’d be a little offended and put on the defense. Believe me, being put on the defense is never a good feeling for anyone, male or female.

I would say make her laugh a little as we appreciate a sense of humor, and don’t come across as desperate. But don’t go too far in the other direction and look completely disinterested either, or she’ll write you off in her mind. Some of you say things that allude to her being less-than-attractive…stop. She’s gonna think you’re an asshole. I would. Girls actually like when guys say we’re pretty…as I said, as long as you’re not sounding desperate, you’ll be fine.

The lines the author wrote are fine, but some of the commenters’…I can’t tell whether you’re joking or serious. I really HOPE some of these are just sarcasm. Just remember, nice guys DON’T finish last. Scared, nervous, desperate, conceited, downright rude guys finish last. But you CAN be funny and confident while still being a nice guy.

And sorry if I’ve come across as snotty in any way, I really am just trying to help. Some of you did manage to come across as cute and charming without sounding mean or full of yourselves, so kudos. =)

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Seduction Chronicles August 22, 2007 at 8:58 pm

Some of these lines are a little too “COCKY” not enough “FUNNY”. In my opinion, I’d stay on the funner side of things. I’d say 80% funny 20% cocky.

Check out Cocky Comedy for a better explanation than I can offer.

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Tom August 25, 2007 at 11:36 pm

I don’t know how anyone who understands cocky and funny can say that it doesn’t work. Here are a couple things I use. Enjoy

1. Girl sits down next to you
Me: You’re lucky you didn’t sit on a tack
Her: What??(puzzled)
Me: Ya, I had to start putting tacks on the seats next to me so all the girls leave me alone

2. Give the woman a completely ridiculus answer to a normal, boring question. Make it c+f and show that you don’t give a damn about what they think of you…
Her: How was your summer?
Me: Overall pretty good except I gained 182 pounds, went to jail, and had to hire a hitman to stop all the women who were stalking me (remember that lines don’t do any good if they aren’t aligned with your belief system and body language)

3. Got this from Master DeAngelo
Her: gives you some sort of compliment
Me: I’m not that easy, you’re going to need a better line than that

4. Han Solo is the man, especially in The Empire Strikes Back, kind of stole this thing from him when the princess wanted him to stay with the rebels.
Her: Want to study for the biology final with me? (asks you to do something with her or help her with something, can be used with lots of things, but must be slightly altered)
Me: You want me to go help you study for the final?
Her: Yes
Me: I think there’s another reason you want me to study with you(sly smile)
Her: Gets a guilty look and laughs

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Dev August 26, 2007 at 12:25 pm

just to begin conversation with a girl…
me-hi
her-hi
me-(getting busy with something and giving no response.not even looking at her)
her-(after sometime)uhh….my name is xyz
me-(reacting surprised and as if she disturbed you)who asked you that?

i am new to cocky n funny routine…plzzz give me feedbacks.

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Seduction Chronicles August 26, 2007 at 2:02 pm

Might be slightly rude with the “who asked you that”, but I LOVE the first part. Sometimes i think you’ll find that the girl won’t volunteer their name in the first part of the conversation.

Perhaps this…

me-hi
her-hi
me-(getting busy, then glance up…) your name?
her-blah blah. whats yours?
me-which one?

idk, just commenting on this after the gym on Sunday… =)

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Zurla August 27, 2007 at 6:56 am

Her- “Do you find me attractive?”

Me- “maybe if you didn’t have that whole ugly thing goin on”

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Dio August 27, 2007 at 11:31 am

I’m from sweden and these are all things I said in swedish that comes to mind.

Met this girl who’s a friend of my cousin and we hanged and she asked me what i do.
Me: I write.
Her: Really? What do you write?
Me: You mean, except erotic novellas?

At some other point, she told me she used to do some modeling as a child, but not anymore.
Me: Yeah, we can’t all age with dignity.

Another time I was standing with two friends chatting as a girl they knew came up to her and said something. She looked me.
Her: Why are your eyes red?
Me: Well, it’s the pure evil in you that made them that way.

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Concrete JOhn August 30, 2007 at 12:08 pm

She (out of the blue): can i ask you a question?
Me (sigh): YES, i’m single, but that doesn’t mean i’m just gonna throw myself at the first girl that comes by. What’s wrong with modern women.

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Drew September 6, 2007 at 4:27 pm

We rock.

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davoxxx September 7, 2007 at 1:38 pm

it went like this:

her: sorry but i have a fella
me: really? how did manage that? … nevermind i’m sure we can just dump him somewhere..
her: i’m, not that kinda girl
me : and here you are trying your best on me
her : i just wanted to know if you liked me
me; and you were doing so well until then … i’m gonna go over there now …

needless to say i got her, but the point i want to make is that she didn’t actually have a fella. she just threw that there to throw me off.

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Drew September 7, 2007 at 8:24 pm

The other day I was in the C&F zone with this girl and she said something bitchy, and I said “Blow me (not very classy I know but it fit in context :)” and she said “Do you want me to?” like all serious. At first I just kind of froze up – I was so amazed at the magic of CF right before my eyes. Next time that happens, what do you guys think I should rebound with?

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Dev September 10, 2007 at 4:22 am

in bars and clubs…(seeing a drop-dead gorgeous lady)
guy-hi.
grl-{no response…reacts as if she didn’t heard}
guy-r u lesbian ?
grl-what?(in a shocking way)
guy-ya ..cause i feel u r not that comfortable with guys.

plzz..give me responce..

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Drew September 10, 2007 at 6:25 pm

Did u use that Dev? Props if u can pull that one off.

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Drew September 16, 2007 at 3:37 am

I personally think being cocky & funny is the secret to seduction. It attracts women because it quickly and directly says that you are NOT another boring nice guy. It communicates: That you’re confident,That you’re comfortable, That you’re intelligent, That you’re funny and interesting

Here are a few examples from the Pick Up In 3 Days ebook. Great for canned material.

HER: I have a boyfriend
YOU: Just one? That’s nothing to feel insecure
about. Here’s what we’re going to do. You
stick with me and I’m going to find you
some more boyfriends. Take a look around,
you see anybody cute in this place?

—————————–

HER: I have a boyfriend
YOU: Good for you… I know it is a HUGE deal
to you, but it’s actually pretty common,
so you might not want to keep telling
everyone new person you meet.

——————————-

You’re either the coolest girl I’ve met in a long
time, or you’re a total weirdo, I can’t tell.
Probably a little bit of both.

——————————-

Are you drunk or are you always like this?

——————————

We should hang out some time. You can help
me pick up chicks

——————————

Look I would love to agree with you. But I hate
being wrong

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hiutopor September 17, 2007 at 8:37 pm

Hello

Very interesting information! Thanks!

G’night

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Brit September 18, 2007 at 5:28 am

Yo can I just say this is a really good thread. With practise anyone can adopt the cocky funny mindset.
Ok I can’t leave without adding a few, these are ones I have on tap:
Her: How are you?
You: I’ve been told I’m pretty damn good! *Wink*

Her: Have a good day
You: Don’t tell me what to do, you don’t even know me and you’re already
ordering me around!

Oh, if she ever needs to apologise I just say, you owe me and point to my cheek. When she comes in to kiss me, I say, “Woah woah, I meant to say you owe me an apology!” This has never gotten a bad reaction. :D

One more thing, I started off with very bad calibration and ended up throwing cocky funny lines which ended up insulting girls but now I can sense the type of reaction I will get in the convo. Its not the lines, its about timing and how you deliver it, trust me on this. That’s my 2 cents.

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Lady La September 23, 2007 at 7:33 am

Sad freaks!
Not only that but you can’t even spell!
It’s about time, boys, that you realised ladies are wise to your games. We may toy with you and let you buy us drinks, maybe even try you out in bed, but at the end of the night, or after ‘the deed’ you’re going out with the trash.
It’s the real men we keep around . . .

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Certified Mandime lol August 6, 2011 at 5:12 am

Lady La,
I’m only giving you some advice. If you’re going to implement criticism into this thread, atleast attempt to make it constructive. You did a great job by telling some fellow gentlemen that ladies actually try us out in bed. Obviously this is one of the main goals set by PUA’s in the first place. Thank you so much for your input :) It was extremely appreciated.

Sincerely,
Chris

P.S.- You didn’t spell realized correctly.

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thatplaya October 2, 2007 at 2:12 pm

lofl ladyla… I don’t buy tricks (esp. tricks like you) drinks, they buy em for me….

and here one good one is:

her: sits next to you..
You: “You don’t bite.. do you” (in a scared kinda voice)
her: “NO!”
You: “Well your no use to me then, go away” (with overly serious look)

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Seduction Chronicles October 14, 2007 at 10:50 am

oh nice guys. Keep em coming!!

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Chef October 18, 2007 at 1:01 am

just met a girl. she’s gorgeous. but she has a masculine personality. when i told a joke yesterday she smacked me on my shoulder. then as i left the car, she smacked my ass.

any special way to deal with a chick like this?

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Andrew November 7, 2007 at 7:05 pm

you – hey.

her – sorry, i have a boyfriend.

you – that’s ok, well all know “boyfriend” is just a status anyways.

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Dru November 9, 2007 at 2:33 am

ok..tryin to figure out a good C&F for this one..

her: anyone who says they dont like games are the biggest players of all!!

any answers guys??

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John December 23, 2011 at 8:56 am

well I’m kinda new at this but I would say

Her: anyone who says they don’t like games are the biggest players of all!
Me: Biggest players of all!…..well in that case I hate games ( brush my shoulder and smile)

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John December 23, 2011 at 8:57 am

A smug smile by the way

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Editor December 23, 2011 at 11:12 pm

Nice. That’s cocky and funny right there.

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shane November 9, 2007 at 4:19 am

i just started what u think of this one

me: man… everyones looking at you… because your with me :D

another one

her:hows my hair

me:maybe you should ask john Howard for some tips

could someone give me some tips on what they think thanks :D

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Gene November 10, 2007 at 9:50 pm

Here’s one I used at the end of some minor C&F texting w/ an acquaintance:

Me: (after some silly back and forth about why I’m so great) …so I know ur impressed – even tho u cant bring urself 2 say it

Her: absolutely not – u’ll have 2 try harder

Me: what – ME try harder? no no no u have it all backwards – ur sposed 2b so overwhelmed by how loveable and irresistable I am that u cant control urself

Her: (after several minutes) I am laughing so hard

Next day when I saw her, every time I looked at her she couldn’t stop smiling. When I talked to her a little later she said she was laughing so hard at that last comeback. That one text message conversation has completely changed the way she looks at me. Now almost every day we’ll toss lines back and forth at each other about how little we like each other and it’s almost a like a dare to see who caves first, starts laughing, and admits it.

But of course this is all mixed with normal conversation where I actually pay attention to what she’s saying, and if she really does open up and ask me something that’s a serious issue where she needs help, I don’t stomp on her insecurities and make her feel stupid or embarrassed for revealing a little more about herself or asking for help when she truly needs it. There’s a big difference between flirty joking around and just being an a**hole who is humiliating someone.

btw, to Dru, here are a few possible responses:

her: anyone who says they don’t like games are the biggest players of all!

you: uh… yeah… ok… and your point? (said w/ knowing smirk)

or
you: ha, ha… takes one to know one (said impishly and end by very slightly sticking out your tongue and then look away with mock umbrage)

or
you: (furrow brow, mouth slightly open as if astounded, then say) uh, you’re saying that like it’s a problem (then after a pause, a quick, subtle, knowing smirk)

but no matter what — NEVER imply that you are committed to her or don’t play games if that’s not true. Just jokingly act like you think it’s cool that she’s finally figured out the real game, or act like you’re acknowledging that she’s busted on your “secret” but it’s cool cuz now she’s in on the game and it’s gonna step up another level.

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Bobby November 13, 2007 at 9:52 am

To DRU: next time you should say,

“If you don’t play, you can’t win” (She’ll probably give you a confused look ‘cos you’ve probably just just told her you play games)

Then you say, “I’ll give you ’till tomorrow to figure that one out…might have gone over your head.”

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Bobby November 13, 2007 at 10:00 am

To SHANE: a better one to,

her: hows my hair

me: maybe you should ask Donald Trump for some tips. Or say something that you can incorporate Donald Trump’s name into the response you give her.

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Carapax (SWEDEN) November 13, 2007 at 6:18 pm

Hi guys, awesome CF lines, I’ve incorporated several of them so thanks!

Last year I bought The Game and after that I read David DeAngelo: s Double your Dating my life has only gotten better :), so much love to DD & CF and the whole community!

The scenario:

2 weeks ago, at college I ran in to an old classmate from high school who picked me out from the crowd and remarked how open and confident I looked, we chatted and I noticed two semi-hot girls approaching and looking at me. As they where about to pass by I whispered to my friend: Watch me do magic.

(this is a translation from swedish so bare with me. :)

Me: (loudly to turn their heads) Hey girls, windowshopping or would you like to buy something :)

girl: (turning around and smiling) Yeah, how much?

Me: show me your smile and we can negotiate the price!

girl (smiles)

Me: well… (looking disappointed)… nothing under 1000 dollars.

girl. haha! your pretty cocky!

Me: considering your mixing of last years fashion, you too!

girl: haha (punches my arm). I hope your not gay!

Me: actually this is my boyfriend (pointing to my friend)… I am the man in our relationship!

friend: (stunned)… eeehh

girls: (laughing)

me: but I am willing to try dating women, so give me your number and I MIGHT call you… but only if you have some hot girlfriends to introduce me to.

girl: haha, sure whats your name?

me: carapax

girl: (writing down her number) its jessica

me: ciao bella

Later that weekend I called her (gave it an timelimit since I was planning to go to a party later on, told her to meet me at a coffeehouse and to wear something “slutty” :) and she came in a really hot dress, and needless to say I took an raincheck on the party)… (we had sex)

*the last ” hot girlfriends” line was directly taken from Spades entry, so thanks!

I LOVE the windowshopping line because its so fresh funny and gutsy(said with the right voice-tone)… and if they walk away you can just say somethin like: keep walkin’, we dont have your size anyway girlfriend!
so I hope you guys have fun with it!

MUCH LOVE to David and Neil who not only changed my life but so many other guys, and to everybody here!

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Pashka November 28, 2007 at 12:01 am

Hey Chaps lovin the comments, some of which have been noted down.

This is my first ever post/mail in the PU community, only read the Game a couple of weeks ago and freshly signed up to a few email circulars.. but already my life is slowly beginning to change, not least my face aches from having to smile the whole bloody time..N.B. I love the fact all the women on this thread want to object but end up validating the essence of cheeky fun! Okay would love some feedback on my own material – always looking to improve – but a bit worried about letting my children out into the world, nonetheless here’s one of my fav routines – my own so good luck, plz be kind to it and of course, always punctuate with generous smiling.

Pashka, London P.S Need a wingman and sounding board! pashka@hotmail.co.uk – all comments welcome :)

1)
Me (to HB >7): Excuse me, don’t mean to be rude but did you used to be a man? (or if theres more than one – did you ladies used to be men?)
Her/them: what?! (surprise/offence)
Me: Well, you just can’t be too careful with girls these days, esp the quite pretty ones/the pretty ones with you know a bit of jawline/dodgy outfits etc (mime/point)
Her: …/whatever/no i’m not a man
Me: [pertinent response e.g. hey i didnt say the look's a bad thing just a bit confusing, followed by:] its just surgical ops are so commonplace these days, boob jobs in yer lunch hour, botox before dinner, seriously my best mate had his willy removed just before his sisters wedding… he did make a beautiful bridesmaid.
Her: smile/seriously!/whatever
Me: So look, I’m sorry but I’m still not convinced, you going to take take the ‘woman test’ or not?
Her: What?/The woman test?/whatever
Me: Yeah, the woman test.. what you’ve never heard about it!..uh oh.. well its just three simple, patented questions designed to tell whether someone really is a girl, nothing to worry about of course, that is if you really are female… (look suspicious)
[ok so i developed this for online chat precisely for its stated purpose but it translates well into real life, esp if theres more than one girl as you can play them off against each other. They should get everything right but if they get go wrong its great, gives an excuse to get all patronizing 'o baby its okay I quite like men' and kino]
Her/them: agreement or non agreement/uncertainty
Me to non-agreement/uncertainty: Well you don’t have to, if youre scared (cough and quietly) or a ladyboy.
Her/them: Agreement
Me: Oh I did mention each question’s timed didnt I, the longer you take the less of a girl you are…anyway question 1, ready?
Okay (get serious)…what colour do you prefer?..pink….or beige?
Her: … Pink! (smile)
Me: (rub her shoulder) See not too bad, just relax.. though you did have to think about that one didnt you, not entirely convincing (swiftly remove hand)! [if they go beige, i reckon the best response is prob 'blimey dont want to know what you get up to in the bedroom you filthy thing' wink and then move on to the next q.
[nb. questions two and three are interchangeable in order depending on the sort of conversation you want to go into next, I have only used it twice in real life and both times went with the order Ive set it down here because theres a chance they get the pill one wrong and then are relieved to get the last one right and you can go into a chat slagging off patrick swayze - leads to ghost and then demi moore fondling whoopi goldberg, anyway im getting ahead of myself..]
Me: Okay (mock serious again) second question, absolutely guaranteed no man will get this.. ready?..remember youre being timed… name.. a.. female.. contraceptive pill? (think you yanks would say birth control pill:)
Her: ……..ummmmmmm o shit whats it called….Evra!!! / sumthing else [when the girl answered this she kindof looked me in the eye quite seriously, (was taken aback for a sec) but I took it as daring me to say something cheeky - oblige! I replied in an understated manner...'Respect (ty neil)..i take that one too, controls my raging hormones'. If they can't remember, its an absolutely gift - tease away in whatever direction you like! If theye never taken one assess the situation and proceed carefully..]
Me: Okay okay, enough fun/not definitive/so far, sorry i didnt catch your names…oh okay well so far kates more of man than sarah etc… now the all important final question:
In the film ‘Dirty Dancing’, where Patrick Swayze plays a closet homosexual attempting to have a hetrosexual relationship…what….is the name….of the all famous final song?
Her: Time of my life!!!! (i dont know if thats even right but its always the answer given)
Me: And how does it go??
Her: ‘blah blah I’ve haaad the time of my life’
Me: Aww me too lady…(i guess that would be an opportune time to excuse yourself and number close if you want but instead I congratulated her for being a woman and told her that now she could buy me drink, we discussed patrick swayze and what made him so alluring (even as whoopi goldberg) I claimed to be a hotter dancer and got her to do a quick grind as i swivelled my hips, my mate cameover and I introduced him as the prettiest bridesmaid I knew (he didnt mind)..then the convo progressed to more chilled out life stuff and eventually I kiss closed.

Take care all who bothered to read, comments good or bad welcome ;)

Ta to Donovan, all posters (and of course NS, M, DD).

Pashka

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Pashka November 28, 2007 at 12:12 am

P.S. Would love to hear about anyones experience with my ‘woman test’ routine!

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Pashka November 28, 2007 at 12:13 am
Pashka November 29, 2007 at 12:19 pm

After re-reading, the opener part needs time constraint and context but thats not too diff problematic… excuse me ladies, we have to be moving at halp past but can you settle this argument between me and my friends.. are you men? etc

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BOBBY November 29, 2007 at 6:29 pm

Pashka, this girls must have low selfesteem to just wait around and let you waiste their time. I couldn’t even finish your “story”…get straight to the Cocky and Funny stuff my man…caught the chase!!

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True(badore) December 4, 2007 at 2:24 pm

Actually Bobby, I might disagree. That is to say, Pashka’s approach as he described it was not entirely cocky funny, but that’s not to say it wasn’t effective. Perhaps better suited for a different post as it stands now, with just a few C/F additions in the beginning it’s a great approach and leaves the possibility for a number of new strings. With the addition of time constraints, as he later mentioned, I think someone could do quite well with it. One thing I might suggest, however, is between the second and third question, don’t ask their names… rather, you might nickname them odd names, pointing out a foible or two (“Well, after round two it looks like Giraffe-neck here is a little more masculine than man-hands *point at each as you say it so they know who you’re talking about, then blow off their responses with a smirk and continue). It’s a great way to neg again, they’ll laugh–maybe make some contact (IOI), and it will make them want to give you their names in lieu of what you called them (IOI).

Remember you want to be in control, so don’t ask: make them tell. And Pashka, never, never say anything to the effect of “Sorry, I didn’t get your name(s)…” why are you apologizing? Again, you’re in control, demonstrate it. They will tell you because they want you to know, and even then no ‘nice to meet you’ responses. Furthermore, I’m not a proponent of offering up my name after they surrender theirs, I will wait for them to ask. Usually at that point I will respond similar to a C/F line previously mentioned on the post, “Well, my friends call me True, but for now you’ll have to call me Truebadore.” If they ask why I say, “Because you haven’t earned that privilege yet.” *potential wink, smirk* Or alternatively, if they say, “Truebadore? That’s a weird name” or “Why such a weird name?” (I’m sure we’ve all heard this), I look them dead in the eye and with confident conviction respond with “It’s one you won’t soon forget,” then coninue on with the routine.

And I love the last question, hopefully the target singing “I’ve had the time of my life.” If you feel the routine was hot and you earned some good rapport with your humor, you could always respond with, “I can see that, and you’re welcome, but such good things aren’t free…” and point at your cheek, as if to imply a kiss. When she leans in to kiss your cheek, (this was also discussed above, and a strong tactic) back up with your hands up and say, “Whoa! I said good things aren’t free, to get a kiss you first have to buy me a drink.” This should help you isolate the target, and a great feed-in to the kiss close.

But I get ahead of myself (always doing that, funny how it never seems to be a problem ;P ). Good luck to you Pashka, and best of luck in London!!

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Pashka December 5, 2007 at 10:36 am

Cheers, True :) and I suppose Bobby:)!

Guess not that cheeky fun but it seems to me that most c/f comes from voice and body language even if your comments are fairly crap. Oh and many attractive girls do have well… if not low self-esteem but esteem that is particularly reliant on others because all the time they’re getting some form of approval from people. Hence part the power of negs. That said these ones didnt, I think it was confident bloody minded perseverence ;)

- Yes, so the woman test routine might not be fantastically witty but it does take you through a set pattern which builds comfort and ends on a high, next time i use it i’ll be providing more context and dropping the willy bit before eventually using True’s transition to score me a G+T rather than a mere kiss :)

That said, the most recent favourite is an opener my mate and I used to Style’s photo routine (sure many of you will have similar):

Approach set with wingman and say – ‘ah at last some quite pretty ladies :) this town is so disappointing!’
‘right then we cant stay long but need pictures to prove it’s not all bad!’ turn to target and hand them digital camera, begin posing with other members.
Then, demonstrate value going through photos with cheek and charm making a big show to everyone involved (they’ll be so concerned with how they look that you can get away with v average comments – compliments and insults if ya not inspired)… eventually turn to target and say ‘oh sweetie did you not get in the pics’ turn to her friends – ‘what d’ya think some photos of moody, we dont want the film to be ruined?’ They insist and maybe even point out there’s no film (‘ah you got me, okay then’). You get her to pose in the three ways. Wingman grabs camera, comments that ‘aww dont ya make a sweet couple’ before turning back to block set. You isolate her and look at photos together and tell her you suppose she’d do but she does have that sad or derranged look in her eyes – spiel some rubbish about her being a bit of a ‘social observer’ or ‘social lemming’ (gets carried away in the moment but a happy lil creature!); or in the UK run the c/u-shaped smile….and after a while if you’re running out of steam ‘hey i know this is the most fun youve had all evening but I’ve really got to go now, give me ya facebook/email and i’ll send you the photos.’

I cant believe this stuff works! Girls do sparkle!

Looking forward to continued banter, all my best!!!

Pashka

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Pashka December 5, 2007 at 11:46 am

Realise i’ve inadvertently taken this thread away from cocky fun a bit – so here’s back to the lines. This retort just came out at a party on Sat night and was more successful than I bargained for:-

Her – I’ve got a bf.
Me – Yeah, I used to have one of them but he stopped giving me those schoolgirl butterflies [strong eye contact].. besides he couldnt keep up in the bedroom.

Reckon its a keeper for the bf response as it addresses both the main negative points in a tiring relationship!

Pashka X

(P.S this is how the rest went:
Her – …so you’re bisexual!
Me – oh yeah, arent you?
Her – (something i didnt hear)
Me – Come on everyone can be bisexual its fun, from the stories I hear – I reckon most my girl friends are.
Her – Disagreement
Me – [acting all profound] No i dont mean that in a dum blokey way, it’s just girls are more open to asthetics than most men. You know you’re more open to the beauty in the surroundings, in your friends! and the emotions you feel as a result. All i’ve done is be honest with myself – put it this way, I’m sure I can recognise whether or not a blokes is good looking as well as you can and thats just a way of appreciating his asthetics.
Us – [looked around at men, id pick a good looking guy but then undermine him in some way, oops was that your bf (is that wrong?)]
Her – I sooo don’t believe you, so..
Me – [cut off] fine well if youre saying im a liar I’m off for a drink…
[I just wanted a drink at this point and went off to get one, then randomly other girls started coming up and asking if I was really bisexual - my mates were drawn in and there was banter neither confirming or denying (btw im not)...all this combined to give me some serious social proof (?!:) and before she left the original one gave me contact details despite her bf being right there, he prob thought it was ok after all this but i was getting serious IOIs!])

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Aaron December 9, 2007 at 11:39 am

I don’t really have a good c&f line because I’m new at this but I do have a question.

I do know that living by the c&f is bad and that you’re only supposed to use it sparingly. but how do u kno when to use it and how long do u go nagging her about it?
Thanks in advance.

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ads December 14, 2007 at 9:17 pm

go by her reaction, if she’s responding to it well then keep doing it. go with what works

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jake December 18, 2007 at 10:04 pm

sweet site.

any tips on how to trick a girl into an abortion, then suicide?

after we fuck, of course.

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serbian milfmaster December 20, 2007 at 2:35 am

When a girl shows you pictures of herself and she’s doing stupid girly shit like posing and trying to look cute you say…

YOU: You don’t make these faces in real life! why is your body slanted and why are you looking to the left? don’t you have normal pictures of yourself, like at home in your sweats working on a thigh master?

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John j December 20, 2007 at 2:20 pm

Christams special

……….

u sure gonna come wrapped up in a box ready for me then ……

they are going to love

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Ricky December 21, 2007 at 4:39 pm

” Drew on September 7th, 2007 8:24 pm

The other day I was in the C&F zone with this girl and she said something bitchy, and I said “Blow me (not very classy I know but it fit in context :)” and she said “Do you want me to?” like all serious. At first I just kind of froze up – I was so amazed at the magic of CF right before my eyes. Next time that happens, what do you guys think I should rebound with? ”

Your rebound can be something like :
1. “Did you wash your mouth, and if you don’t i`m not gonna put anything inside”, or
2. “Did you wash your teeth, like the doctor said ……. minimum 3 min”.
And last;
3. “Are we going to do that in public, cause i didn’t bring out my camera”

If she said “yes”(to do THAT) you can continue by saying :
4. “Well(LONG)… i was just kidding, and now i can tell,……. you are very easy girl”.

And else
I don`t like the thing that some think we PLAY GAMES with girls.
OK some of us play with girls.
I play games yes, on my PC(i love counter-strike ONLINE :) ).
But when it comes to girls i like to make them laugh and have fun time together.

And else #2: :)

her:what do you do in free time?
me:i`m babysitting,…..that`s why i`m with you now.

her:HI
me:no i`m not… but i have to say drugs are not good for you either.

If she has BIG boobs and you are making good conversation with her,having fun, stop for a moment look in her boobs and then in her eyes and say to her in a whisper voice tone:
1. ” Please, tell to your boobs to stop look at my eyes, i`m starting to feel embarrassed”.

KEEP UP!

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Matt G January 7, 2014 at 8:04 pm

Are you fucking kidding me? why would you need a cocky line after a girl said she would blow you? your ruining all sexual attraction. that’s a huge sign of interest and for you to make a joke out of it is going to turn her off. you need to get to a point where you turn off C&F and get to be real. you want to sleep with her right? she just offered to blow you. weather she is joking or not. take it to the next sexual level. Continue the conversation by saying something else sexually suggestive.

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Rosscones December 24, 2007 at 5:48 pm

i explain to women how “i receive my period for two weeks of every month, thus making it twice as hard to fornicate with me!” (in comparisson to the average female.)
i then go on to explain how sick and tired i am being seen as nothing but a sex symbol.
(i have found that reversing the situations always makes it easier..well of course it would be when there the ones trying to bang you!!)
I discovered this at 14 when i got my first girlfriend and decided the aim: To have so much sex that you learn not to value it.
GETTING WHAT YOU WANT is easiest when you don’t want it at all!!!

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donovan December 28, 2007 at 1:12 am

thanks guys. This collection is defintely growing quickly. Check out David’s Cocky Comedy for more methods.

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JJdub January 2, 2008 at 8:04 am

Here are some of my faves:

her: my name is sara
me: oh cool, i know 3 other sara’s i’ll call u sarah4.

me: did u know that 93% of women masturbate in the shower and 7% sing……do u know what they sing?
her: no
me: ahhh u must be one of the ones that masturbates then;)

me: ur cute like my lil sister.

me: ur such a dork

me: u don;t get out much do ya?

me: (if she drops or spills somethin) see this is why we cant have nice things babe.

me: its ok u don;t have to be so nervous/shy around me

me: wow i feel bad for ur parents.

me: gimme a kiss on my cheek and mabye i’ll let u forgive me.

me: im too high maintenance for u

me: ur backl to square one with me missy!

me: its like watchin the view right now

me: isn’t this a school night?

me: woh anymore of that and im gonna have to charge u….and u know what…..(lean in and lower tone) u couldnt afford me;)

me: wow give this girl an inch she thinks shes a ruler

me: (after a date) i’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening……..but this wasnt it.

me: do ppl take an instant dilike to u? cuz they could save so much time.

me: ur table manners give vultures a bad name.

me: i’ve seen better arguments in a bowl of alphabet soup.

me: ur twice the man he is.

me: if they can make penecillin out of mouldy bread they sure can make somethin useful outta u.

me: u have a contagious laugh…..ppl get sick when they hear it.

me: we’d make good friends…we’d stab each other in the front.

me: (girl asked me to buy her somethin while shopping) i’d like to buy u somethin nice to put around ur neck…………a rope perhaps?

me: lets ask someone tats gonna give me a slighly more educated, intellectual decision………….hello wall what do u think?

me: iono who ur borefriend is but hes obviously not spankin u enough.

me: (to rest of set normally put my arms around her while doin this) I like this one…..is she potty trained?

me: we would be great together….we’re sooo donkey punch compatible!

me: (while checkin out her jewelry) wow its just amazing what u can find in cracker jack boxes these days!!

me: r u just tryin to get me drunk to get in my pants?

me: im not just a piece of meat ok!! i have feelings too!

me: im soooo out of ur leauge.

me: (shes shit testing u too much) u have a really strong personality, were u beaten as a child?

me: wow u are sooo special!……………did u leave ur helmut at home tonight?

me: girls sits next to me) woh watchout i bite…mostly around the neck area but sometimes i nibble on the lips.

me: (open a 1 set) ok listen u have to mins to impress me……..andddddd…..(check watch)……….go.

im tired its late…i’ll write more later…some of them aren’t really cockyfunny…but i thought i’d throw them in for shits and giggles.

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JJdub January 2, 2008 at 8:09 am

the last line was meant to be “u have 2 mins to impress me” its late ppl…gimme a break.

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Ricky January 10, 2008 at 6:51 am

this is cocky funny :

first interaction:

me:you are very beautiful !:P
her:don`t tell me, you are from wuss vile!?
:) :) :)

P.S
DO NOT USE THIS.

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Curtis January 13, 2008 at 12:07 pm

This actualy worked..

Me: You know my dad told me that if you ask 100 girls to bed, one of them will say yes.

Her: (confused and not impressed) Yes, I’ve heard that before.

Me: You will never guess what number you are.

Her: Does that line ever work on girls?

Me: You calling my dad a liar?

5 Min’s later I took her home.

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Matt January 15, 2008 at 4:00 am

(For when you get her in the mood but morally she can’t have sex with you)
HER: Matt… stop… I just can’t have sex with you… I just cant.

ME: Your right. Brunetts just aren’t my type.

…………..

Her: (doing somthing difficult) Why do they MAKE this so damn hard.

Me: actually sweetheart it doesn’t come that way but I might let you get it there for me.

…………….

Her: (after geting somthing C&F told to her) oh well aren’t you so smooth.

me: I’m not one to brag but I’m guessing I’m going to need to cover for your self confidence issues.

………………

(After having a ‘standards’ line puled on her)
Her: oh haha so how do I raise to you level then?

me: hmmm I’m actually an avaid fan of breakfast in bed.

…………….

Her: so you think your some kind of King when it comes to ladies?

Me: You will adress me correctly peasent or face the gallows.

Her: I’m not a fucking peasent.

Me: Well if I were a lowly peasent I would deny it too but really girl accepting is the first step to moving up the social ladder!

(starting to like the joke)
Her: haha ok what’s the next step?

Me: A Smurf.

Her: Ok now for real there’s no way I’m a fucking smurf.

Me: correct. Your all the way at Peasent. see your learning so quickly!

…………

Me: hey ill be back in town next week.

Her: Awsome! we should go out!

Me: Actually I’m pretty packed but if I find time for you to take me out to dinner I promise ill let you take me.

………….

(Approaching the prettiest girl in a bar) Me: Your a little out of place.

Her: oh? Why?

Me: Surrounded by all these gorgeous people… I walk you next door if you don’t feel comfortable. They don’t quite judge as harshly as we do.

…………

(Aproaching a girl on campus you know is college age and older than you)
Me: Are you looking for you class?

Her: No! I was just taking in the sights.

Me: Oh yea I heard about yalls high school field trip. You thinkin about applying here?

Her: What? I’m a student here.

Me: Oh your one of those Child Prodojy kids!

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Jim January 15, 2008 at 6:11 pm

Hahahahahaha Matt wins hands down. The 1st one and the one about the girl in a bar are PRICELESS

Those were easily the best

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s January 18, 2008 at 2:50 pm

me:
‘hi, I just wanted to say I noticed you from across the room, and you’re really attractive. What’s your name.. [cut off her response, if any with {confused expression}]‘….oh, no…I’m sorry…that’s your line’

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shane January 18, 2008 at 11:58 pm

me:you know, i don’t usually let women seduce me at/in the (place wherever you are) but your the luck y one

her:yeah

me:that i had a few beers before i got here

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JMan January 20, 2008 at 1:53 pm

This one was already mentioned on here but I take it a little further. I typically use this when I’m with a woman in a bar or a restaurant.

Her: (She does something and says sorry)
Me: I might forgive you (point to my cheek)
Her: She kisses me on my cheek.
Me: Point to the side of my neck.
Her: She kisses my neck.
Me: Point to my mouth.
Her: kisses my mouth and some of them will make out with you at this point.

Good to use if you have not kissed yet.

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cj January 22, 2008 at 8:17 pm

So as she says “I’ll be right back” or “see you later”

You just use the exagerrated:
“DON’T THREATEN ME!!!!”

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shane January 24, 2008 at 6:00 am

hey guys i’m not sure about this one tell me what u think of it

me:hey nice dress

her:thanks

me:they sell that dress at the reject shop

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lurch January 25, 2008 at 4:40 pm

I’m 6’5″. Never knew what to say if a woman comments on my height.

Now a woman says ‘WOW YOU’RE TALL’” I respond with a bit of energy and “WHAT’S UP, SHORTY?”

Her reaction – totally blown sideways and its funny as hell for her at the same time.

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Leothelion July 15, 2012 at 7:52 pm

I’m not that tall but when a short girl says something to me neg or about me being tall, I look over them and say “who said that!” and pretend you can’t see them. they always punch me in the arm and say “youre mean” while smiling

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MC January 31, 2008 at 7:21 pm

Here is one (sorry for my bad english)

When meeting new girl:

me: The heaven is missing an angel tonight

(take her hand to kiss it, but just before you get her hand near your lips, turn it, and kiss your hand, and then say..)

me: I had to step down from heaven and see what you mortals doing.

MC, Serbia

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CHETE July 11, 2011 at 7:28 am

BEAST!

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neilo February 1, 2008 at 3:33 am

i always find this one a good one

her (says something stupid or annoying)

me: shut up or i’ll beat you

or if you already know the girl:

her (again says something stupid)

me: (name) why do you talk to me, i don’t like you?

she acts offended

me: god i was only joking don’t cry about it

i also have one to use when you’re play insulting each other-she says quite a good insult then you stutter like you’re trying to come up with you then just call her a dickhead. she will laugh because she has won the insults, but if you act annoyed that you couln’t come up with something better it will crack her up- you MUST act annoyed tho or it won’t work.

with my last gf, sometimes i used to play a points system; i would pretend that i didn’t like all the holding hands and hugging, calling it gay, so i gave her a points system; eg every nice thing she did or said i would award 5 points and every thing she did that annoyed me i would deduct 5 points, then for every 20 points she had at the end of the day i would allow her 1 minute of affection; of course its all a front but you can keep winding them up about it during the date or whatever, but you have to be half playful half stern..

if you have feedback let me know cheers

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MC February 1, 2008 at 8:55 am

Need a wingman. If anyone from Serbia interested (Belgrade) it will be gr8. My mail is msmilos@yahoo.com

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Doodee February 2, 2008 at 9:04 am

Thanks for sharing

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Michael H. February 4, 2008 at 3:42 pm

I’m just starting, and I need all the help I can get. Some of these are really good, keep’em coming!

here’s one i used a few months back that I just remembered using, and everyone around me found it hilarious:
*some random girl talking to her friends*-…I can sing pretty good in spanish.

*me*-hah, I’ll bet you can’t even sing in english!

(I guess you could use this for pretty much any situation when a girl brags about something she can do well in a foriegn language…insult the ability she claims to have indirectly by saying that she can’t even do it in her own language).

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louis February 5, 2008 at 7:30 pm

Mates, firstly this site is marvelous but i do need help on a certain aspect of the game now.

Last week i picked up this girl using c&f on a walk link by commenting on her shirt she was wearing, over the shoulder and stuffs.

me: i never bothered to ask, where did ya get the shirt from?
her: shirt? i got it from thailand.
me: right, i thought you’re gonna say, rainbow land.
her: laughs(cos the shirt was very colorful)
her: where’re ya from?
me: i grew up in the british council.
her: ah, i’m an exchange student here.
me: right, anywhat i’m heading off, do ya have a cellphone that works here?
her: sure, yeah i do. (gives the number)

i texted her by saying, “this is not a colored message, but the number of louis” and she replied, “haha! i only reply to colored text normally, but it was nice bumping into you louis.”

following that, i texted her 2 days later by saying, “louis thinks that the colorful paralegal is responsible for the recent spates of disappearance in the skies.” she didn’t reply the message. So in the night i called her cell, using my landline, and she picked up, i got into c&f mode talking about the fact that she’s not doing her job in controlling the colors and she said. “haha ver funny, louis can we talk later, i’m having a skype conversation right now.” so i said ok cool. Thing is i called her about an hour later.

and she never picked up, i am lost and i don’t know if i should call her again, i’m pretty bogged by my fear of her not picking up my call. What should i do mates? should i text or call her, and what should i say to build the attraction again, i suck in the after number game. this sucks.

louis

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louis February 5, 2008 at 7:56 pm

the text was meant to be, “louis thinks that the colorful paralegal is responsible for the recent spates of rainbow disappearances in the skies.”

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Beto February 11, 2008 at 12:11 pm

Hey guys,
i’m a college student and here’s a situation that i loved..
pure cocky funny! it’s a classic..

****

(A girl comes up to me while i’m in lecture)
Girl: Hey, is this seat taken, can I sit there?
Me: You can sit… but don’t bite me!
Girl: Ha! I’m not going to bite you! Most likely i’ll just sleep on you!
Me: Aren’t you frisky? I just met you and you’re already trying to sleep with me? What happened to the good’ol days of being friends first?!
Girl: You’re such an ass! I hate you! (sits down already)
Me: You would know what “Hate” is, =P
Girl: Oh be [quiet]… (I cut her off)
Me: Why are you so defensive and so close to me? I said no biting =P
Girl: Huh? (I cut her off again)
Me: Aren’t you feisty? tell you what, do what you do best and sit pretty — you might get a reward from me later ;)
Girl: (Just stays quiet while i’m ignoring her)

It was good practice..
IDK, what do you guys think?

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Paul February 19, 2008 at 11:15 am

> Chef Wrote:

> just met a girl. she’s gorgeous. but she has a > masculine personality. when i told a joke
> yesterday she smacked me on my shoulder. then
> as i left the car, she smacked my ass.

> any special way to deal with a chick like this?

Yeah there is.

I saw a post on here about mystery. The post was about what he’s done lately to help the community. I saw a lot of trashing posts in the thread.

This idea came from mystery. You say to her, “Don’t touch! This shit isn’t for free.”

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Paul February 19, 2008 at 11:33 am

I think the majority of you are way beyond the point the cocky and not being funny at all and it is also obvious the majority of you ether didn’t watch or pay enough attention to David D’s Material. He gives you a couple really good examples.

From David D’s Cocky Comedy, “I suggest you go change out of that dress before the fashion police come and arrest your booty.”

I suggest you watch David D’s Cocky Comedy. If you’ve already watched it, I suggest you go watch it again.

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Seeker February 21, 2008 at 12:40 am

Beto – I’m new to the community, but I think you went a step too far when you said “You would know what “Hate” is”. IMO you went from flirting to awkward.

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Code February 21, 2008 at 4:27 pm

Gentlemen,

Two that have worked well for myself and my wing are:

Her: So what do you do?
ME: Part-time ninja and male dancer
Her: You like to dance?
ME: You cannot afford me.

When we have seen a girl pass by on the second time…

ME: Ladies you look like you are walking around shopping for steaks. You really need to have more respect for men, I am not just a piece of meat and if this going to work you need to respect my soul.

HB7 came back with: I am just looking for meat.
ME: Isle three unless your vegan.
HER: No you will work!
Me: Slow down now! I have to find out if I like you.

Long story short, it was back and forth teasing even into later meeting. Absolutely relentless, she may have her own copy of The Game.

Cheers

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Sev February 23, 2008 at 10:36 am

Those are some good lines guys.

I’m pretty young so I haven’t used much.

Her: Do you plan on getting married?

Me: Will you say yes?

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mike February 28, 2008 at 11:48 am

I love these. Some are a little too cheesy or offensive in my opinion, but I am impressed with you guys, there’s much to be learned here.

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Mike February 28, 2008 at 10:07 pm

these are great guys, keep them coming!

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Mike March 2, 2008 at 10:38 am

tell me what u guys think about this one. I used it to ask a girl out for a date I had this weekend.
On the phone after making some chit chat:
Me: so do u have any plans for the weekend?
Her: I’m not sure what I’m doing yet… What about u?
Me: I’ve got a pretty cool date planned. We’re gonna be going to such and such place and doing this and this (build it up)
Her: Oh… Sounds fun.
Me: yah it should be pretty cool. Youre probably wondering who the lucky girl is right? Well the one I have in mind is pretty cool. That’s actually exactly why I’m calling you.

I came up with this one. What do u think?

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Ricky March 3, 2008 at 1:12 pm

when you start talking to her and busting her balls and if she said something like:

“no one ever speak to me like this”
and you be like:
“stop lying” (very serious)
her: “no really”
me: “well i am speaking to you like this how can you say NO……….LIER! “

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maui March 7, 2008 at 4:01 pm

HER: I have a boyfriend.

ME: Wow! What a coincidence. I have a girlfriend. That’s one thing we have in common. Looks like this relationship is off to a good start. (smiling)

Im new to this. I never tried it. Any comments?

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fisther March 14, 2008 at 10:22 pm

How bout this one? whan she tells u her name u say ” oh I really like that name, it;s the same as my dogs”

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Ricky March 15, 2008 at 1:32 pm

Ok first i have to say something that i just learn from David deAngelo = cocky comedy video series.
(watch it i recommend you)
And you`ll learn that the point is not to be cocky funny but FUNNY & CONFIDENT. that is good to know and to work on it.
Because if you try to be cocky+funny you’ll be arrogant. (i know i read all of the posts).
So please make your self FUNNY + CONFIDENT.
I was arrogant myself thinking that i was funny( maybe i was funny a little, but most of the time i was like trying to impress and arrogant) and after i watch the video i got it.
And don’t try to make stand up comedian of yourself
just have fun.
When you go out on a date DON`T FORCE yourself to say something funny just ….HAVE FUN. And when you have fun girls will notice that and THEY will find you.
and else :
Don`t show to a girl that you like her,
(especially if she is HOT; and by HOT i mean a girl that when you see her you want to jump on her leg like a dog… or maybe not just her leg ;))
or do something that makes you want her;
just be indifferent.
OK? – GOOD !
P.S.
And watch some Triumph the insult dog
that will make your day.

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Ricky March 21, 2008 at 4:40 am

Some c&f lines when a guys yell at your girl(hey baby you are hot), when you walk by those, so called… JERKS :P :

1.They: (to your girlfriend) Hey baby you are hot!
YOU : Thanks man but you are not my type.

2.They: (—||—) ——||——- !
YOU: Thanks man but i`m taken(pointing to her).

3.They: (—||—) ——||——- !
YOU:(to her) I pity him (like you really do, but fake).

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jc March 24, 2008 at 3:38 pm

This kind of thing can be gold, so long as you don’t overdo it… here’s one I just used a week ago when setting up to hang out with a girl I recently met.

her: are you free later?

me: I’m always free… but tips are appreciated.

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O-DESS March 29, 2008 at 3:50 pm

hey, tell me what u guys think
this i use on a first date

if she’s lying and your about to bust on her for lying say
” wow your lying to me already, your messing up your chances,
do u ever tell the truth, i’ll tell u what, next time if u lie, lie with me cause no ones needs to know what we do;)”

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Doppelganger April 4, 2008 at 2:49 am

A problem with me is that I went from shy yet funny guy to a state in which I can speak to anyone but being either funny or arrogant. I think I pop out c&f statements but I guess most of them are plain arrogant and rude. And this happens due to the fact that I was inspired by the TV character House in order to get used to telling cocky things, although I think I am on the other side of the spectrum.
Does anyone know a way to balance those two ingredients of the c&f skill?

Situation:
I wanted to grab and sandwich and there was a line full of girls waiting to pick something from the store. So as I was approaching I tell them “These things are fattening girls and you’re already fat”
They are stunned and I manage to pass by them and grab my sandwich. Next to me there was a girl I know and asked me in a way that it implied she had realised this was a joke: “Did you call us fat”
Me: “Not yoouuu.”
Her: “Ah ok”
Me: “Some imaginary girls over there” and I leave.

This was I think rude. But the funny thing is that when I’m around friends I am always the guy who tells the jokes and all the funny things and we laugh. And then I’m not rude at all. Should I keep that mentality with women and stop trying to be cocky, cause as you can see I step at the dark side of cocky and funny.

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tyrone April 7, 2008 at 1:23 pm

this stuff is really good, but you have to understand that women are diffrent and cocky funny does not always work, you really need to know when and when not to use it. some of these posts are really good, but some are really cocky and not funny at all. being funny is never bad thing though. and if you guys are really having trouble with getting b**chs, you got to change you look: go tanning, buy some nice clothes(shoes are really important), and always smell good,

-duces

(fyi,thats how the marines say catch you later)

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Rafał Pawłowski April 9, 2008 at 2:25 pm

The most important thing to watch out with C/F (besides delivery ofc) is to never let it stop you from escalating physically (kino). I let it once and it was weird – she was obviously attracted but for some damn reason I couldn’t even kiss her, let alone fuck her. And she found a sink of hers attraction in some other guys! Seems assinine at first, but when you come to think about it, it makes perfect sense.

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Drew April 13, 2008 at 6:55 pm

Whenever ur taking a pic with a girl, start messing around. Say stuff like, “Ok, on this one were doing sexy faces.” And then when u both check out the pic, look at her and say (no matter how good her “sexy face” is) “I said sexy, not constipated!” Always solid.

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Mike April 14, 2008 at 9:12 am

Funny stuff

Whenever a girl does something you do not approve of, either gently hti her arm/shoulder. Or say
“This friendship will never work out”
Both do miracles…i would know

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ANTONIO April 14, 2008 at 6:29 pm

ME; THEY CALL ME BIG MAC
HER; WHY IS THAT
ME; BECUSE AM #1

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Mike April 18, 2008 at 2:30 am

note to self: this is a good one

“My watch can tell if u have panties on
it says you don’t
wait
it’s 15 minutes fast”

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realman April 22, 2008 at 1:07 am

well guys here is a good one i figured out myself. whenever in a bar/club u met a girl and she says she has a boyfriend use this to give her a little hit,

her:i have a boyfriend
you: ohh… i ccc,hmm as old as you her you are dating
an underage.
her: he is not underage, actallyy he is 26yrs
you:now i know the problem, have u considered an english course?
her:waht!!
you: i mean he is too old to be a “boy” but a man so gatta use a
gud one next time. then trun away not listening to her response

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Rupe April 30, 2008 at 5:21 am

some of these are too cocky. ADD some god damn funny into them. come on guys…

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Doppelganger May 3, 2008 at 7:26 am

I took cocky phrases and tried to turn them into cocky and funny ones, although some of them you’ll find sarcastic. Btw don’t use cocky and funny on not so clever girls(actually avoid them anyway). They will get offensive and take it unkindly.

#if you wait for her to get dressed, or you meet her somewhere and it’s obvious that she invested a lot of energy to get dressed (what girl doesn’t?)

- So you didn’t come dressed?
- You know that clothes have been invented right?
- Nice dress… for my grandma.
- Oh well it’s night, who’s gonna see you in the dark?

#you want to comment on her intelligence

- You are a monster of intelligence! Without the intelligence part
- (serious look) You’re blond aren’t you? (for girls with dif. hair color)
- Let’s just say that nobody can call you a smartass…
- (Knocking on the head – gently :P) Knock, knock… no response..
Dialogue:
You- No,no you’re really smart!…at some parts…
Her- Like?
You- Well…ah…(look away or stride away)

#comment on her trying to say something and making a verbal mistake

- In your own words.
- Have ever listened of “the first grade”?
- I know that when I’m close to you you lose your words, but try to control yourself. (add on: it’s unattractive)

#comment on her outlook (if she’s good looking)

- You’re the 4th most beautiful girl I’ve seen today… (add on: kiddin’! You’re not even good looking)
Dialogue:
You- Oh my you’re… well… you go to a magic mirror and you ask it “Mirror mirror on the wall who’s the prettiest of them all?” You know what it answers?
Her- What? (waiting to hear her name)
You – It breaks!

Halloween
- Oh my what an ugly fac!(e)…. …you’re not wearing a mask are you? (with a way that you just realised it)

Please guys give me some feedback on those. Are those lines c&f or again too cocky? Or who of the above did you find cocky?
Btw we should really create an online cocky and funny workshop in a forum or something :P

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Rupe May 3, 2008 at 8:00 am

a cocky and funny workshop would be bad ass

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Rupe May 3, 2008 at 8:00 am

a cocky and funny workshop would be pretty sweet

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zudnic May 3, 2008 at 9:04 pm

Girl: What do you do?

Me: I’m in the seminary, thinking of leaving though.

Girl: ummm…. Really? (little surprised)

Me: I just cant get into little boy’s–Too be a priest

Girl laughs 9 times out of 10. I go into my: speaking of religion.

Me: sex must have sucked for Jesus– Every time girl would be: oh God, Oh God. whole compared to the Father… Ego killer I tell you.

Girl either says one or two things: Your “funny” or “bad” (she’s always smiling)

Me: You have’nt seen Me on the dance floor

I use this all the time, girls working at coffee shops, grocery, clothing stores, waitresses. If outside of club and no dance floor. sub dance for bowling, playing pool, etcetera. I even took a girl out for her birthday. A hooters waitress out at her favorite restaurant and a hotel bartender out bowling. I’ve even had a friend go to the bathroom, leaving Me with a first date. After she watched Me use my BS on other girls. She said: “You know we should go out sometime”

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Amazing Paul May 5, 2008 at 7:56 pm

okay here are a few lines that i just so happened to use today =) ….
Situation #1 a girl has just touched u physically kissed, hugged etc…
Me: Alright that’ll be a Dollar fifty
Her: For what? (confused and all)
Me: (give her a shocked expression) You didn’t think I was free did you?

Situation #2 !!!This can be fatal if you don’t deliver it correctly, and the girl MUST like you otherwise she’ll take it as an insult!!!! Okay a chick is talking to you about something pretend to “zone out” staring straight at her eyes…
Her; Are you okay?(she’ll say something like this)
Me: I never knew that a hooker could be so beautiful(or use an animal instead of a hooker LOL… becareful!)

#3 Girl(friend) is getting tired she asks for a piggyback ride or for you to carry her
Her:can i please have a piggy back ride? or can u please carry me?
Me: (dont answer for a few seconds, ignore her…then look her straight in the eyes n say in an undertone) I would if you weren’t so heavy…

#4 Your eating food with a girl, let her finish first…
Me: (offer her ur food) You want my food also? (with big eyes have some disbeief in them)
Her: umm no thanks, why are u asking?
Me: okay, I just thought that pigs(or anyother animal) ate more food…

remember guys that these cocky lines can be dangerous…earning u slaps, kicks in the crotch etc… There is a fineline between cockiness and just making the other person feel bad at their expense … Goodluck!

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Lafaminute May 13, 2008 at 3:32 pm

This line works great on beautiful mature women (30′s up). it doesn’t work well with young hotties! I was sitting at a crowded bar in an Uno’s resturrant when a beautiful red headed women walked up. the bar stood next to me was the only one available so she attempts to sit down and says,

Her: Excuse me is this sit taken

Me: Can you control yourself? ( without even looking up at her)

Her: What did you say to me? (The look on her face was priceless, you know the I can’y believe you said that to me look)

ME: its been a long day and i’m tired of being hit on. I just want to drink my beer and be left alone.

Her: Fine

Five minutes later her leg was brushing against mine.

Me: Here we go

Her: It was an accident

ME: Sure it was, thats what they all say

To make a long story short, we were bumping bellies one drink later

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Jason May 13, 2008 at 9:58 pm

This was inspired from another post on here, but I changed it a little.

her: starts talking about her day..blah blah
me: did you just ask if you could make out with me?
her: no
me: oh, that must have been my mind trying to keep the conversation interesting…

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vj May 25, 2008 at 3:54 pm

HB- I have a boyfriend
PUA- we just met and you are telling me about your problems.

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ravnar101 June 5, 2008 at 12:10 am

stuck up girl at bar:

Her: I’m waiting for my boyfriend
Me: Well that’s too bad, I can imagine waiting is part of the human experience but I like to do instead of wait.

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chris June 8, 2008 at 9:56 pm

to stuck up girl
her- you are not my type
me- come on lower your standards a little I did

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Doppelganger June 11, 2008 at 1:33 am

I wonder if it works better like this

“come on, set your standards higher”

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Doppelganger June 12, 2008 at 4:43 am

Ok, don’t mind my previous post. Chris’ is much, much better. I hadn’t seen the “I did” part lol.

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Rodo June 22, 2008 at 12:52 am

I went with this girl to a supermarket before we were going to a beach party. She was waiting outside.

Me: I just bought some condoms for tonight
Her (trying to behave offended): I don’t have any STD’s
Me: Who said I was planning to use them on you?

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ryan June 22, 2008 at 11:25 am

I always find it entertaining to give a valid compliment (that shirt looks good on you, those are nice shoes… whatever.) and follow it up with… I guess I can only describe the noise as radio static mixed with a laugh–you gotta kinda break eye contact for a second so it looks like you’re laughing to yourself. (By the way, we seem like a MAJOR bunch of nerds here… though I’m certainly as guilty as anyone else.)

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Female June 29, 2008 at 10:40 pm

I am a female. Do not do this. It is pure and utter gayness. Thank you.

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gonzo July 6, 2008 at 10:47 am

the point is really to be more funny than cocky… be cocky about little things and make it funny..

do you know whats REALLY good practice.. go to a strip club.

and why? well the girls off the bat are going to be nice and friendly, but..its not like they are not attracted to the men there…

and yet.. its easier to be yourself at a strip club.. it relaxes you.. i went to a regular nightclub after my 1st night at a strip club.. and let me tell you how much success i had..

plenty of beautiful girls.. plenty of numbers!! and how??

i was relaxed, confident in what i was saying.. more funny than cocky.. made everybody had a blast…. i was truly myself and not nervous or shy to be myself either

now … this may not work for everybody.. its kind of like an ego boost for the night and helps you feel much more confident.. which honestly is exaclty what you need to be

try being funny but a little cocky at a strip club yet keep good eye contact… you’ll be surprised at how well it works at a nightclub

and this is because.. people are people regardless of where they are or what they do.. if you act nasty at a beautiful girl on the dance floor — expect to get slapped – right? its not any different at a strip..

an a$$hole is an a$$hole is an a$$hole

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gonzo July 6, 2008 at 10:53 am

oh and i forgot to finish what i was saying..

DONT BE AN A$$HOLE

itll get you no where

oh and for fun.. act as if you’re gonna give a cute girl a lap dance 4 fun.. itll bring you attention and more girls WILL come to you.. obviously because you’ll seem.. FUN!!!!!

if there is no interest or eye contact… expect to be looked at as if you have 3 heads

so guys.. get out there and be YOURSELF.. and most of all HAVE FUN!!!

look.. im husband material and everybody i know KNOWS IT!!

am i looking for the perfect girl to be my wife?? OF COURSE

and if you havent noticed yet.. you usually end up getting more of what you really want when you least expect it

so go out there and have fun.. you might just end up w/ your perfect partner!!!

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zenichiro July 9, 2008 at 5:17 pm

One Liners:
Her: I just bought a vibrator
You: Really? I was wondering how you chipped that tooth…
Her: I am having boyfriend trouble…
You: What, you can’t find one?
Her: My boyfriend is kinda weird, but he grows on you…
You: Like warts?
Her: Do you believe in safe sex?
You: Of course! I always floss after.
Or
You: Of Course, I always ask when her parents are coming home…
Her: I’ll have the salad; I am watching what I eat.
You: I’ll have the steak, and then you can watch what I eat too.
“That’s a nice dress you are almost wearing.”

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mike j July 11, 2008 at 5:44 pm

at a karaoke a woman comes up and asks me for a slip and i reply “thats alright love you dont have to write your phone number down just put it strait in my phone.” or “shouldnt you ask me before you put us up for a duet how easy do you think i am?”
outside bar having a smoke woman comes up and asks for a light i pull a torch from my pocket and say ” there now you can see while you write down your number”

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Jasin July 13, 2008 at 3:49 am

Asking you whether you have a girl friend or not

her: Do you have a girl friend?
Me: why, are you looking for one?
Her: no i just wanna know
Me: no its okey, you can ask

Or

Her: do you have a girl friend?
me: Have you ever heard of James Bond?
her: uhm yeah
Me: Well you get an idea

Well i kind find it hard to answer those questions in a cocky and funny way.. still thats the best i can come up with
any idea’s ..?

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Doppelganger July 16, 2008 at 11:59 pm

Another idea on that

Her: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
You: (speaking to yourself thoughtfully)”Yesterday was *name”, today’s *name”…I have an opening on Friday night”

Her: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
You: “It’s THAT obvious, isn’t it?”

Her: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
You: “Why, don’t you?!”

And if you’re extremely unlucky and a guy asks you this question or you happen to work at a gay bar (this is from a friend of mine)

Him: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
You: “Yes, your mom!”

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Dale McKinzie July 19, 2008 at 6:13 pm

I just found this site today and would really love a lady’s opinion. I have been reading all of these put downs of women on this site (you’re ugly, stupid etc) and I am wondering does this really make you want to go out with a guy?
Having said this some of these are funny:
Her: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
You: (speaking to yourself thoughtfully)”Yesterday was *name”, today’s *name”…I have an opening on Friday night”

This one also

Situation #1 a girl has just touched u physically kissed, hugged etc…
Me: Alright that’ll be a Dollar fifty
Her: For what? (confused and all)
Me: (give her a shocked expression) You didn’t think I was free did you?

Although, I would probably change it to: You didn’t think I was easy AND free did you?

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Sandman July 20, 2008 at 12:41 am

Came up with an awesome concept the other night at a party.
I call it TCC or Text Cocky Comedy.

A group of us were sitting/talking and the hot girl next to me starts writing a msg on her phone (not good, i want her attention on me) so I whipped out my phone held it out so she would look curiously and wrote “(name) is pretending to write messages because she has no friends” for this i received a punch to the arm and a great laugh.
I then told her to mind her own business and stop reading my messsages.

Then I wrote another one and the curious thing read it again and laughed. By this time she had stopped writing her msg & was writing one to me and everyone in the group wanted to see what we were doing.

I then looked into her eyes and proceeded with a clssic David D. technique to get her full attention “I’ve worked out something really interesting about you”
Her: “What is it?”
Me: “Well it’s kinda deep, I don’t think anyone would have picked up on it before”
Her: “TELL ME, WHAT IS IT?”
Me:”lets go dance”

So remember, if a girl is txting on her phone and you want her attention.
Just give it a bit of TCC.

*note: this technique can be easily overdone, do it once or twice on the girl, no more.
Do NOT keep doing it just cos your getting a good response, it WILL get old. Now that shes in your world you need to use verbal cc and attraction devices (eye contact/kino) to further your progress and seal the deal.
Keep on playin boys.

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Sandman July 20, 2008 at 3:46 am

Comment by louis on 5 February 2008:
great start up line, the prob with your after game is variety, don’t keep going back to the same joke. It’s the same with my above technique… (TCC)
The only exception to going back to a joke is by giving her a rainbow-related nickname or something… this kind of stuff doesn’t age.
As for the girl I would say she would be beyond recovering as she has already let you down.
It’s cool, just make sure you learn from this experience.

Peace out.

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The Blue Fox August 7, 2008 at 9:47 am

First off,

You: “blow me”
She: “Do you want me to?”

That sounds like a shit test to me. She expected you to tense up. She owned you. To plow through that, you cannot, I repeat, cannot take her seriously.

Second,

Cocky and Funny does not work within the frame of degrading the woman. Sure, every once in a while, if she already knows you actually dig her and want her and if you do it playfully enough, it can get a response. Negs aside, it is really bad game to build yourself up by tearing her down. I have never gotten anywhere that way.

I cannot say this enough, women are not turned on by a man who does not dig them. Women are not turned on by a man who does not want them. They are turned on by a man who wants them but who also has high standards because he values himself.

Pretending she is trying to seduce you is good. Pretending she is ugly or stupid is bad.

The essence of a good C/F is to the convey this message: “I am a pretty great guy, but I think you might just be special enough to get me.”

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Locbox August 7, 2008 at 5:04 pm

Remember, leave them better than you got them. ^_^

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mark anthony valentino August 20, 2008 at 7:14 pm

hey guys i just recently used this one.

Me: Man my legs are so sore…
her: why are they sore..?

Me: Well anybody would be tired running through your mind all day;-)
her: omg your so funny…(blah blah)

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Ricky_MKD August 21, 2008 at 1:28 pm

Comment by Doppelganger on 16 July 2008]

i like this version its really funny

Her: “Do you have a girlfriend?”
You: “Why, don’t you?!”

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Dannyboy August 23, 2008 at 3:19 pm

if a woman bends over to pick something up..

me: keep bending over like that you’ll soon have a boyfriend!

i tried that a couple of times and got great response from it ;-)

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Robert August 24, 2008 at 4:59 pm

If a woman is reading something (a sign, a book, online news):

you say: pffffft. who are you trying to kid. you don’t know how to read (emphasis on read)

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davey richardson August 26, 2008 at 10:35 am

Me: (after some conversation and comfort building. when both of you are generally finding out more about each other): Are you left handed or right handed?
Her: I’m left handed. What about you?
Me: I’m awesome handed

Her: Do you have the time?
Me: Do you have the energy?

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Cem August 28, 2008 at 1:57 pm

Since I’ve learned so much information from everyone here, I thought I’d let you dip into on of my personal best.

This is me(Cem) talking to my friend “War Is coming” about buying some drinks at a store from a hot girl.

Cem says:
You don’t remember what it is I said though?
War Is Coming says:
Yeah I do.
War Is Coming says:
We put the drinks on the counter.
War Is Coming says:
She said “Together?”
War Is Coming says:
And you said “Yeah, but just the drinks”

War Is Coming says:
I said it like 10 times in Cali.
Cem says:
Did it work?
War Is Coming says:
What do you mean did it work, of course it worked.

Hope it works for you guys as well!
– Cem -

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david September 11, 2008 at 7:40 am

LMAO this some random shit i got of the Internet for entertainment purpose only! don not try this at home! ;)

Tips on how to spit game to agirl? Rule 1. Women LOVE to be called bi.tches and ho’s. Rule 2. If you’re out somewhere, and an attractive girl walks by you, tug on her shirt or grab her azz and say, “hey baby, you wanna get wit dis?” Rule 3. If a woman turns you down, it’s because she’s a prude with sand in her vag00. She will die a lonely spinster, and this shouldn’t bother you. Rule 4. Set your cell phone ring tone to whatever’s number#1 on Cingular’s most popular ringtone list, and make sure someone calls you just as you start talking to a girl. Answer your phone, and then completely disregard the woman’s presence. She’ll be so awed by the fact that you’re so important you don’t care whether or not she’s interested that she’ll probably invite you back to her place for “drinks” Rule 5. Sounding educated is a start. Who wants someone who sounds like they have no future? Unless you are only looking for a hood rat. Rule 6. slap her and say ‘you’s my hoe. you down foxy mamma’ Rule 7. brush your tongue too it hold More games than the mouth

Again ppl don’t really recommend this moves unless your trying to get bitch slap or go to jail.

now all i could say is B yourselves, don’t talk to much, don’t try to hard and play the (hard to get role) Girls diggs Confidence. ask questions make her engage in conversation, make eye contact, ask her to the movies you might score.

cheers!
David

Keep them coming…

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JayJay September 11, 2008 at 10:55 pm

“What time did you get up this morning?”
(Her:5Am 6Am*whatever)…”Well you look like you could use a little more beuty sleep…maybe an hour or two that should do it.”
(this one got me the finger almost instantly but within minutes she was joking and flirting with me. go figure)

“Oooo…I’m sorry about your hair, wait here…I’ll get you a sombrero to cover that up.”

At a dinner Party- “Julie, you can thank me later but I already asked and they said you can have seconds.”

remember it’s not always what you say but how you say it that Attracts girls, how you say it makes all the difference

Keep em’ coming boys…

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PUA extraordinaire September 14, 2008 at 6:28 am

I used this line to great effect and I thought i would share it. Yesterday while i was at a department store one of the employees who was very cute was trying to help me pick out shoes. once the ordeal was over she asked if i wanted to purchase them and than i said no something else caught my eye (give her a furtive look and pause for a few seconds) she will reply and what would that be (thinking your speaking about her) then you say the mirror over there but since its not for sale i guess youll do, killer

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Amateur September 20, 2008 at 9:07 pm

Hey guys….. I do really like your idea on cocky comedy, but I just figured out that there must me a good timing for all this. I mean, it won’t work ALL the time. Some situations that you are in will LARGELY require you to get her(the girl) to the comfort zone first before all your hanky panky starts to work.

Of course, I don’t mean that you have to be a wuss initially. Maybe just cut down on the cocky at first. Just be friendly and funny if the girl is like shy or SUPER shy. Then when you can see that she is having fun (e.g. starts adding something to the conversation without you asking her a question), start all the cocky and funny stuff. Do this at the right timing. If she is just starting to get comfortable then kick back for a few minutes.

My point is that you need to get her to go to the climax of comfort before all of these can work. If she is not comfortable being around you, no amount of C&F will work. (although it was funny to you but it can be otherwise to her)

I just discovered this when I was talking to my dad’s friend yesterday. She had a daughter and this little girl here was like turning away from me. The situation was so tense for me and her. I knew that cocky and funny wouldn’t work so I tried plan B. My mind was stuck coz I was so focused on not screwing up but at the same time I didn’t want to act like a wuss. Well, did not get to talk to her coz I was not in the comfort zone. It takes two to tango and she was so tense and so was I.

When I got home, I finally thought of a thousand ways to get her to open up. I could have said something like : “Hey, do we look like we eat people up or what? You have finished your meal but still staring at your plate. Come and join us; I promise not to bite.” Yeah, the cocky stuff is all tuned down for a moment here. Instead, if I went like :”I know you have a pretty butt but you don’t have to turn your back on me (she was sitting in a position that is facing away from me)” she might just think that I am a jerk and never talk to me again. Remember that she is shy in the first place.

Getting in the comfort zone is really Step 1. Not cocky comedy, unless the girl is already in it. (she is responding well to you or she came to talk to you)

Dynamites are powerful but must be handled with care! So is cocky comedy.

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dav September 23, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Her: wanna get a cup of coffee?
ME: im sorry but my mom educated me not to go out with strangers.
Her: but this way we wont be strangers no more…
Me: Yea and then you turn out to be a rapist right? plus i dont have any condoms with me today.

I have more if u want… just probably not the best

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Hardcore Puller October 3, 2008 at 2:50 pm

This ones good if your friend is talking to some girls and you haven’t broke into the conversation yet..

My friend was telling some story to two girls we met in the club so i whipped out my phone and typed “He talks crap (: >>>” and held it up behind him so that the > were pointing at him. They laughed and my friend turned round i quickly smiled putting my phone away casually then i went in with some normal conversation.

It worked like a charm..

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shorty October 4, 2008 at 8:47 am

me: do you know if there are any churches around here?
her: no, why?
me: its a good place to go to score some free wine!

me (to bartender): I’ll have a water thanks.
her: you’re a bit of a pussy for drinking water.
me: well you know what they say- ‘you are what you eat’!!!

me (on a cold night): don’t you care about global warming?
her: yeah, why?
me: you’re going around with you high beams on the whole night- try to conserve that precious energy a bit!

her: damn you’re tall, you should play basketball!
me: yeh and you should be a plumber because you’re full of shit ;)

me: do you want to dance?
her: yeah ok
me: awesome, i’ll watch- the pole is over there..

her: so what do you do?
me: it’s not what you do, but how you do it that counts! ;)

*At a new bar/ club for the first time-

me: this is my first time here- I guess that makes me a virgin!
her: how was your first experience then?
me: well, it was a bit hard to find the entry at first!

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Ross Jeffries October 7, 2008 at 2:16 pm

“Are you Russian?”

“No”

“Good…because you should take your time when you’re meeting someone you’re really going to like”.

In any case, remember the best humor draws on the actual situation. Here is another giveaway for use in the supermarket.

You: “Excuse me…but if you saw someone shoplifting..right here…right now..would you turn them in?”

Her: “I guess so”

You: Because you took my breath away…..”

Remember once you get the laugh, I suggest a self-effacing(mildly) introduction with an implied compliiment, as in,

“Ok, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve said in months to meet someone who I might really like…I’m YOUR NAME”.

RJ
Get in on my first new complete course in 12 years:
http://www.speedseduction.biz/launch Free Video clips and tips!

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Don Juan October 10, 2008 at 10:43 am

Her: I have a boyfriend!
You: That’s Ok…..I am not the jealous type. Anyways my name is Jack.

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net October 12, 2008 at 7:08 am

Great Guys..keep it up!

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anonymous October 12, 2008 at 9:02 pm

i can’t believe no one has included the “you remind me of my dog” line.

it’s a classic

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Tim Lewis October 13, 2008 at 12:56 pm

This one came to me after the moment had passed, so I never got to try it out:
Me after noticing an attractive girl on a PC next to one I was going to use, but was out of order, and some of the keys had drips on them
Her: I don’t think that one’s working
Me: It looks like someone’s been dribbling on this one -
have you been dribbling all over that
Predicted response: No!
Me: It’s not good – I think you should go and get a cloth and wipe it off – don’t you? (said in a teasing mum to child type voice)
Predicted: I haven’t been dribbling on it
Introduce myself, then say
Me: Well I better go now – before the sight of me sets you off again and you have TWO keyboards to wipe, but give me your email and we can chat later (take out pen and paper for her)

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Radiation(still AFC) October 14, 2008 at 12:28 am

Well the other day i went out casually with my cousin, she encouraged me to do some sarging that day… eventually i got the nerve to what i have been learning for the past 2 weeks, i went into a shoe store (for Men) and worked up the nerve to use a opener wich i invented on the spot
I took the plainest pair of shoes i could find and took it to the assistant working there…..

Radiation: Hi, i would like to know if it is possible that i could put some words or patterns on the shoes(obviosly i knew it was not possible)
her: um sorry but we dont do that(she said it in a lame tired voice like she worked 3 shifts,i never expected her to be so much in a “bad” mood)

so i left and went over what i did wrong(and no i actually did 2 approaches but anyway)
this is what i think i should have done, tell me what you think

Me:Hi, i would like to know if it is possible that i could put some words or patterns on the shoes
Her:No sorry blah blah etc
Me: ’cause i was thinking that i could maybe put my name on it. or even your name
Her:(looks confused)
Me: maybe even our aniversary day cause im not good at remembering names or dates

I not sure if its C&F but please tell me what you guys think of it…

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cocky funny October 15, 2008 at 1:22 pm

My favorite is whenever they pay for anything for me, I say “thanks but you know you’re not getting lucky tonight”

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Chris October 15, 2008 at 8:10 pm

Hey you guys no what? I just put on axe before i came here. So if you get the urge to throw yourself at me it’s completely normal just remember you’ll have to get in line.

or

Hey you guys no what? I just put on axe before i came here. So i realize i’m completely irresistible but please control yourselves.

girls love those axe commercials

We’ve never actually been introduced(or we’ve never actually talked) but i can tell you really want to get to know me. (you could reword it a million different ways)

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Doppelganger October 20, 2008 at 2:59 am

Haven’t tried this one, but I just came up with it

You meet a girl and a friend is next to you

You(talking to the girl/ voice tone low, slow voice): “You look….”
Friend: “..stunning?”
You: “I was going to say ‘like my grandma taking a bath’, but why not?”

Because I just came up with it, I don’t know if it’s just funny or if it plays its role.

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Tim Lewis October 20, 2008 at 3:24 am

How about making sniffing noises and leaning in and saying
Hmmm…. you smell funny.
That’s good, I like a girl who can make me laugh

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sandman October 22, 2008 at 5:58 pm

Comment by Radiation (Still AFC)
Bro I hate to spoil it on you but that aint gonna work unless you’ve got super tight body language. It’s not funny at all. Even a little freaky, try some of the stuff listed on this post before you start coming up with your own. Or the patented “what’s the time/how much are these shoes…” followed by “I’m just kidding I just wanted to come flirt with you.” this might work a little better.

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Brett October 22, 2008 at 7:27 pm

To a guy wearing a watch:

Girl: Excuse me, do you have the time?
Guy: Sure, do you have the energy?

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Radiation(Still AFC) October 24, 2008 at 5:04 am

Thanx for the advice sandman, like my name says im still an AFC and only recently started with the whole C&F thing… just by the way the everyone C&F gives some dam good responses- if used correctly!

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Doppelganger October 26, 2008 at 10:35 am

After some chatting

Her:”Hahaha, I’m inside your head”
You:”If you were inside my head you’d be kissing another girl right now. Don’t blame me. Blame my gender.”

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Chew October 27, 2008 at 6:37 am

Hi im Chew 18 and do pick up lines always start a conversation? and i can flirt but when getting to the point of asking them for their number i get to nervous and choke up. any tips to keep calm?

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Tim Lewis October 28, 2008 at 4:18 am

I’m no expert on girls (not yet i need practice), but there was one I liked so much that I allowed the nervous feeling to make me ‘drunk.’ I knew her anyway (she wasn’t a stranger) so i guess that made it easier.
Get into the mindset of her wanting to give you her number – i.e. she’s definitely not going to say ‘HOW DARE YOU ASK ME FOR MY NUMBER!! GO TO HELL!!’
Ask for email and then get her to write down the number also.
Make sure you have pen and paper
Just ask ‘do you have email?’
And ‘write your mobile number down as well’ (courtesy of David Deangelo) these are simplew sentences to say even when choked up
You don’t have to bow down on one knee for it

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Kenneth Noisewater November 21, 2008 at 5:35 pm

Say “Hi” to her (in a nice, suave way, so it looks like a pickup) then lean in close to her ear (as if to tell here a secret) and say “You’ve got something in your teeth.”

Then as she starts to slightly panic, just smile and give her a playful nudge.

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helius November 25, 2008 at 10:00 am

i find it easier to get c&f when im ace to face wid d girl rather on the phone..its soo hard to figure out whatthe girl response isor what face she is making to procede to the next thing ,incase she dosent burst out laughting or anyting aftera comment. and for a begginer like me… i find it difficult to come up with resposes soo quick, and i sometimes assume what they are gona say.. an keep a comment ready.. and when i shoot outa line and they say something else…its screws up things and i cant get them to laugh. for eg
on an international call-
me-so what did u do on ur birthday
she-on i went for a movie “quantom of solace”,really loved it blah blah
me-ohh i loved it too, but over here they sencor everythin whata bummer, (and in all seriousness),do u know they even changed d name of the movie here so that it would do well to “condom of solace”

i expected her to say
she-really ???
me- YEA u wish, didnt u !!!!atleast now i know whats goin on thru ur perveted mind 24/7 :).

but she didnt say “really ”
she went like in a seductivve way “uuummmmmm how original” ( no idea if she was being sarcastic or mayube tought if it was original )

so i didny know what to say… and i said “what, you dunt believe me “?? and then she changed the topic…

she was havin her dinner , and was wid friends, maybeshe could have been preoccoupied, but either ways…i had a few c&f comebacks ,but her responses were all different… luckily atleast she likes me and imnot screwing up things…..

so whatdo u think i did wrong ?? and what should be the solution to this ??phone conversations r a bit hard for me, and chatting dosent really bring out the impact ofthe joke or manifest the humour out…

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SicilianStyle November 28, 2008 at 3:55 pm

If a girl asks you, “What’s one word that describes yourself?” I respond with a big smile and say,”F***ing-Phenominal!”

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Robby G December 18, 2008 at 2:45 pm

@ Chew, you don’t always need pick up lines. Just be funny in a sarcastic way overall and if you get hints from her that she’s sorta into you, what’s the worst that can happen if you ask for her number? It’s not like you’re asking her to marry you. Just to hang out, right. So don’t worry about it and go for it.
Cheers!

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j23 December 24, 2008 at 10:56 pm

lol there are some great stuff here if u can fliter though the rude cocky stuff. If you want to take the edge off the cockiness USE THE WINK TECHNIQUE @ the end of your response. It will throw her into the “im busting your balls” catergory not “i’m trying to disrespect you”. Homies don’t get shook when the ladies start testing you, the bigger the biatch the easier they fall.

her: your not my type
me: HA! i just baught tickets to the ZOO to see your type…wink
(act like nothing phases you EVER! practise the nonchalance)
go get em tiger

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Greg January 3, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Here’s a good one. I was taking a group picture with my classmates. And this girl classmate says something.
Her: Guys, watch where you touch (She was referring that the guys better not touch her body in the group picture)
Me: Maybe we should be watching for you. Please Caroline… no touching below the waist ;)

In this one I turned it around and made her the sexual fiend. She smiled and punched my shoulder.

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spuddness January 3, 2009 at 4:39 pm

I’m kinda new at this but it comes out of me some times. I payed 20 bucks to go see a play with a girl. ( i know ur thinking what a looser but wait,) later on I was in her apartment and this is how it went.

I go in for a kiss and she playfully pulls away so:

Me: listen I spent 20 bucks u either pay me back or I get a kiss, or both.
Her: gives me a peck on the lips
Me: What type of one dollar kiss was that ur gonna have to do better than that;)
She did and we started making out.

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King J January 4, 2009 at 11:11 pm

Here’s one I used skiing about two weeks ago.

I was with my brother, about ready to get on the lift, when I saw a hot ski attendant who struck my fancy. Now in order to get on ski lifts you have to show your ticket to the attendant. Ski resorts have gone high-tech and modern lift-tickets have bar codes on the ticket itself, so each attendant has a hand-held barcode reader that looks a bit like a gun.

I maneuvered myself into her line and said the following:

Me: So, you look like you play lasertag with that thing.
(This piques her interest and she proceeds to tell me her life lasertag story)
Her: Omg! I’m the best at lasertag! When I was a kid I was always the one who would shoot everyone else down. I’d be doing barrel rolls and…

At this point I knew she was interested so I just held up my hand, stopping her in mid-sentence.
Me: (With straight face but with a twinkle in my eye) Whatever. Look at all the people that are behind me. You’re supposed to be working.

Her mouth drops and she gets that “You did NOT just say that” look. I didn’t even keep talking to her. I just skiied forward, preparing to get on the lift.

Behind me, I hear her talking to my brother:

Her: “Are you his friend?”
My bro: “Worse. I’m his brother.”
Her: “Well do me a favor and hit him for me, okay?”

One of the best chair lift rides I’ve ever had up, and the next time I go through line I call her “Lazertag” and she gives me a HUGE smile, a punch on the arm and her digits.

Gotta love it! ;-)

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bobby January 6, 2009 at 11:24 am

This past fall I used a pretty good one. I was hanging out with a bunch of friends and this girl was with us. I wasn’t interested in her but I still decided, why not practice some C&F on her. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but it critical of the guys in the group. She said something to the effect of “You guys are always so [something].”

To which I responded with a pretty straight face, “Well, if you don’t like it you might as well just get up and leave now.”

The guys in the room burst into laughter…she gasped, smiled and punched me in the shoulder. Every time I see her now, she comes over and starts hitting on me. :P

You have to be careful with that one though, make sure you have the right tone to your voice, else your comment will come off as sounding mean and not playful.

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smitty January 15, 2009 at 2:43 pm

a good way to bust a girls “balls” is when shes talkin to u interupt her and say you have something right here and point to a spot on your face (doesnt matter where

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Ayinde January 16, 2009 at 4:45 pm

I guess i just made this up right now.

Her: I’m going to bed now
Him: k, but when you dream of me try not to rape me.
her: haha, ill try.

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yic17 January 18, 2009 at 2:44 am

dang .. this is amazing. I’ll definitely “steal” some for this Sunday. I’ll share when I can think of something.

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yic17 January 18, 2009 at 2:35 pm

so I talked to this promoter girl on Friday + exchanged numbers. today she called and asked me if I’m gonna be @ another event tonight. here’s what I did:

SHE: hey, are you gonna come tonight? I need people!
ME: you should’ve said you need ME.
SHE: haha, okay. so can I put you on my list?
ME: only as VIP.
SHE: haha okay, you got it!
ME: if I find out I’m not on VIP tonight, I’ll gonna find you and bite you hard!
SHE: haha, no worries!

I don’t think that’s very effective. it was okay. here are some other variations I am just thinking now …

SHE: hey, are you gonna come tonight? I need people!
ME: no babe, you don’t need people. you need ME but you’re just too shy to admit.

OR

SHE: so can I put you on my list?
ME: no babe, I’m already on another list. well, UNLESS you’re offering me something … SPECIAL.

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Tim Lewis January 19, 2009 at 4:39 pm

I haven’t, tried this one out, but I think it would be good for the meet up before a first date, especially if the woman is dressed nice
“Wow!! I haven’t seen a finer sight since I looked in the bathroom mirror this morning! Anyway let’s go to the caff and get some drinks…. etc

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Adrian January 22, 2009 at 1:40 pm

Ok this happened 2 me yesterday at school.

Teacher: Adrian give me your phone you know your not supposed to have it out at school.(takes phone)

Me: Miss can you put your phone number in there while you have it.

Everybody started laughing after this I guess its ok and plus the teacher kind of gave me a smile at the end of class and yea she is a good looking teacher. :)

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NESiEj January 26, 2009 at 2:44 am

ME: What’s your name?
HIM: Johnathan, whats yours?

ME: My friend’s call me NESiE, but you can call me tonight around 7 O’clock.

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John January 26, 2009 at 9:27 am

Nice one :

You´re at the disco or a dancing bar and ask her :

Me : Do you dance?

Her : Nop…

Me : Ahhh, thanks (sound relief)…you looked a lot better from far.

Maybe she won´t smile but you won´t make an ass outa yourself :-D

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El Director January 26, 2009 at 3:36 pm

(If the girl is doting or lost in thought)

Me: Your thinking about me arent you?

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Doppelganger January 31, 2009 at 12:33 pm

I just wanted to point out that something can be really funny when it is spontaneous. In other words, it’s ok to use jokes and c&f phrases, dialogues, routines you read here, but it’s really great to start coming up with funny things to say yourself, the moment you speak with a woman. Basically, I’m talking about situational humor.
Is it hard to develop? Well, it needs practice as everything in this world. You can learn the basics and the formula, but try to apply it and you’re bound to make some mistakes. But keep practicing and eventually the akward silence will come not because you don’t have something to say, but because ideas just storm into your brain and you can’t decide what idea/c&f thing to say to choose.

situation:
her – this is a pic of me being a baby. Don’t know who the guy with the mustache is.
me – probably a child molester.

that exact moment she cracked up. But if I had just learned it and trying to find the right opportunity to say it, chances are
a) I’d miss many more situational humor triggers
b) this would sound akward (child molester, really?!)

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Adrian January 31, 2009 at 12:58 pm

Just one of the lines my cousin and I use on girls.

Her: (comes up out of no where)
Hey do you remember me from the other day?

Me: Ummm not really.

Her: It’s me Sandra.

Me: Ohh hi Sandra sorry I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on. ;)

Hahaha it depends who you use it on but can sometimes get a laugh or smile. :)

Will put more as soon as I remember more.

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Money February 1, 2009 at 8:05 pm

King J, niiice.

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patman February 1, 2009 at 10:05 pm

Her: Why can’t I __________.
Me: (playful) Cause you’re not hot enough…

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Indiana University February 13, 2009 at 6:25 pm

Scenario: Two or more Girls in a group

I approach the one I like and say

Me: Don’t tell your friend, but she has the most Beautiful (fill in, ex. eyes.)

Give her a second to respond, which will usually be about herself wondering why you didn’t complement her.

Me: You know whats crazy about the whole situation though? She has these georgous eyes and all I can think about is you.

Gets em’ everytime, and be creative n enjoy!!

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datingexpert February 18, 2009 at 5:30 am

at a concert:

her: hi (she is smoking)
me: hi, sorry I don´t smoke (using bodylanguage showing rejection,grin)
her: haha I´ll stop doing it just for you

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SAGE February 22, 2009 at 11:28 am

With all due resecpt dude thats some corny shit

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Adrian February 23, 2009 at 4:34 pm

Yea the smoking one was shit….

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Tim Lewis February 23, 2009 at 5:20 pm

Yeah, it’s almost as corny as going up to a really hot woman and exclaiming – Wow!! You’re smoking!! I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.

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da mac February 24, 2009 at 10:33 pm

her:i have a boyfriend
me: good.
her:what??
me:now i don’t have to worry about you coming on to me.

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Triston February 26, 2009 at 3:33 pm

What a menagerie of mediocre, retardation.

I simply confidently ask a woman if she’d like to leave with me, right now. Has never failed.

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Moneyman February 28, 2009 at 8:56 pm

if u want to keep ur beautiful figure.. then dont flirt with me.. cuz i wayy too sweet

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gaurav March 4, 2009 at 7:15 am

she:(showed u a pic of her in which shes standing beside a x-mas tree or something like that, taller then her)
she: hows the pic???
me: (in a serious tone)don’t u think that the tree has it all to be a super model…(pause) even the height.[:P]

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MattD March 5, 2009 at 11:17 am

Heres a common one you can use in a college/university situation when she asks your major.Instead of being boring and saying”busniess” or “environmental sciences” you can say:

her:so whats your major?

“glad you asked…its actually the newest major at the school….lion taming ( smile a lil bit )

her: ha oh really?

me: ya but like I said its brand new.I mean we dont even have a real lion yet, so we just tie up one of the students in the class and practice on him…yup, its about the only way you can whip someone whose tied up without it being perverted or kinky.”

its get them laughin and you can go all over the place with this one…eventually u can tell them what it really is, but just have fun before you do.

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Benjamin March 7, 2009 at 6:54 am

Here are a few recent situations:

Her: How old are you?
Me: Irrelevant.
Her: No, come on, just tell me.
Me: Why? Are you gonna look up X-year old Benjamins in the phonebook? Damn stalkers!
Her: You know you’re quite funny.
Me: I can tell by the huge crush you’re developing. *pats head*
Her: Just tell me your age!
Me: Fine, I’m 4. But don’t tell my boss or I’ll lose my stripping job.
Her: *giggle & a sigh* What am I gonna do with you?
Me: I’m guessing sooner or later you’ll kidnap me and tie me to your bed.

Me: Don’t look now, but there are 4 guys looking at you.
Her: *being all bratty and cocky* Yeah, happens a lot.
Me: *I slowly lean in and take a big whiff of her* Oh, never mind, I found the cause.
Her: *girl-punch during a giggle*
Me: *I smell the spot where she punched me and make a droopy face* Damn it, now both of us need to shower. But no peeking!

The following one was used to really escalate it after you’ve got some rapport with the girl. I was in a club, explaining about the tropical country I grew up in after she asked. (though you can say it’s where you went recently, as well)
Me: It’s amazing over there… sunny beaches with fine sand, submersed in wildlife and fauna…
The nighttime’s the best… Everybody heads over the the clubs district and the beaches become deserted…Can you imagine *I take hold of her hand. Make sure you keep eye contact*, we’re underneath the starry sky, you can hear the rushing sea and the fizz of the champagne glass in your hand… no one in sight but me. It’s almost too warm for clothes … I lean in *lean in slowly at this point* and whisper *put your arm on the small of her back (with a bit of a manly touch) and whisper in her ear* “I’ll be right back.”

At that point simply break contact, get up and turn around. Head over to the dance floor or bar, let her boil in her unleashed fantasy for 10min (or even wait until she comes to you), then when you meet again, her eyes will be twinkling. Guaranteed.

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Adrian March 7, 2009 at 8:56 am

(Girl sits down and notices there was something on the chair)

Her: Ohh damn I got something on my butt!

Me: Yeah I know, I guess my eyes aren’t the only ones on it ;)

(Talking about going on vacation and places to visit)

Her: I’m not sure where I want to go for spring break. I was thinking maybe the Virgin Islands.

Me: Yeah I once went to the Virgin Islands. Now they’re called The Islands.

(During a lapdance, foreplay, grinding etc.)

Her: Yeah you like that huh?

Me: I wouldn’t go there if I was you. I once walked down the street with a massive erection and there was no survivors. :P

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Catman March 9, 2009 at 7:25 pm

Her: [insert any compliment. The more complimentary the better. If she looking for a reciprocal compliment, even better.]

Me: I know. [Remember to smile. Avoid arrogance.]

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Doppelganger March 12, 2009 at 8:56 am

I just used it on a female friend of mine, but you can try it out in the dating scene if you want to

Me – [Name], are you gay?
Her – No, why?!
Me – Well, you have some.. feminine traits.

where ..= very small pause (1 sec)

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Richard March 18, 2009 at 12:55 am

(I’ve invited a girl home to me to watch a movie. Things happens).

Me: Geez, this movie got everything, guns and blood and funny comments and good music and good actors. And Hitmans, And I just lay down here with my arm around this beuty like yourself? Geez I am one hell of a lucky guy. *Looks on here and smiles, a charming smile, but not trying to hit on her*

Her: Oh yeah, you mind me taking on my hoody, is very cold. *Smiles but looks troubled*

Me: No problem, we do like this ! *Lays arm around her, and takes the blanket that is next to me and wraps us both up* Better huh?

Her: Oh yeah *Allmost purrs like a kitten with her head on my upperbody*

—-

After that, it just continced. Until some nice sex ^^ Btw, this was a girl I’ve knewn for 2 days. Hehe, -| Creed

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Matty March 21, 2009 at 10:20 am

This one worked a charm for me lol
i was sittin at a table with this woemn who was very snobby so to say, gawjuss thoe, she sat next to me, an alittlw later i accidently knocked er foot, she turns around an says ‘are u playing footsi with me’
everyone on the table looked at me, i calmy an cockily said, ‘why did you like it’ the table burst into a laff, an the look on the womens face was priceless…an from there i tryed my moves an succeeded haha

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JD March 21, 2009 at 11:33 am

Actually I’n me new to c&f but I see it’s pretty close to my natural style. One I used recently.

Her: makes a cocky comment on something I said.
Me: Wow, you look kinda of nice, but you’re no way beautiful enough to be that cocky!

She walked away semi-upset just to come back about 15 minutes later to ask for my phone number. :-)

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osvaldo March 22, 2009 at 3:43 am

great stuff guys am getting it… and put me on the road to start use tit, thanks…

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knuckles March 22, 2009 at 9:47 pm

HIM:hey, you know you sorta remind me of my dog
HER:(usually a punch in the arm)
HIM:hey,I loOOOVVVEEE my dog

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killah ink March 25, 2009 at 4:32 am

hi guys,this is very interesting,actually im new to this

i dont know if you guys consider the following as cocky and funny too

HER:Hi there
Me:hi,are you smiling at me or am i smiling at you?
HER:she smiles and says, i dont know

OR

ME:starring at her
HER:why?anything wrong?
ME:hmm,did it hurt?
HER:whats that?
ME:when you fel from heaven

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Doppelganger April 5, 2009 at 4:52 am

I, personally, wouldn’t use them. They sound too… cheesy/sweet for me. Like stating to her “you’re the trophy and I’m melting right now”
Since you’re new to this though, congrats on trying to come up with some. Practice is everything, so keep posting. And try them on girls. Else they’re useless, lol.

Now this one is extreme. It’s too cocky but it was funny, because we had both watched an mtv spoof mocking house md and grey’s anatomy.

Me: You’re not a doctor, you’re a whore.
She burst out laughing.

Still, I don’t think it’s good when you first meet someone. But it was an extreme cocky, plus funny, thing to say.

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Z April 7, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Oh good god, killah ink NEVER use the did it hurt line, EVERY GIRL HAS HEARD IT BEFORE. It is not new and original and they WILL laugh at you.

Also, there is a lot of great stuff on here, but some people don’t seem to understand what cocky funny is. YOU ARE NOT INSULTING THEM. Stuff like
“me: your arms are hairy
her: (laugh)
me: you should shave them just like you shave your legs
you do shave your legs dont you?”

What does that accomplish? It displays no value and is blatantly making the girl feel self-conscious about herself. There is no cockiness here AT ALL. Nor is it funny. A response to this will be an “um… okay…” not laughter. C&F should generate laughter and make you seem confident at the same time.

Also, stuff like this:
“me: you know, it should be illegal to be pretty like you
she: why /what?
me: I would have accident, if I see you driving next to me. Can’t take my eyes of you!”

“ME:starring at her
HER:why?anything wrong?
ME:hmm,did it hurt?
HER:whats that?
ME:when you fel from heaven”

No. Just no. Now you’re putting her on a pedestal, making her the prize. The ENTIRE purpose of C&F is making YOURSELF the prize WHILE making her laugh. Positive emotions. These lines evoke positive emotions, but don’t make you look good. Oh, and they’re cheesy as hell. Any attractive girl will laugh AT YOU for saying crap like this because she’s heard it from EVERY OTHER chode. DON’T DO THIS. EVER.

Summary:
C&F is not insulting them
C&F is not putting them on a pedestal
C&F is not using cheesy lines

The purpose is to make her laugh by making yourself seem just slightly overconfident.

Sorry, but that really had to be cleared up…

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Dale April 9, 2009 at 11:53 pm

When you go in a store and write a check they always ask for your phone number to write on the check (this obviously does not work if your number is already printed on the check although you could use some variations in that case) When they ask for your number just smile and say “It won’t do you any good I already have a girlfriend.” You can of course say something afterward to let them know you don’t really have a girlfriend and it IS ok for them to call you

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alex April 10, 2009 at 8:00 pm

hey
ok ive tried a bunch of theese lines on girls, but sometimes they will just stare at me and are like…what??!?!
so that ruins the whole C&F mood, and I dont know what to say when they react that way…

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sobonito April 12, 2009 at 5:54 pm

I’m in college and during one of my classes my friend goes:

-”you know, you shouldn’t really be texting during class”(i was on my phone)
(me)- “i’m sorry mommy”
- “haha..i’m not your mommy”
(me)- “good. ’cause i would go to hell for thinking the stuff i was thinking about you if you were my mommy.”

its not really cocky, but it did have her laughing

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Dale April 13, 2009 at 6:55 pm

To Alex…when that happens to you. Say either…Ok, that sounded ALOT better in my head. (and smile big) or something like. “See, I told my friend thta would never work.

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Erick April 15, 2009 at 1:19 am

This is the heaven of pickup lines for a rookie like me. I’m def gonna try a few listed here! Thanks everyone!

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PootangMan April 20, 2009 at 10:23 pm

Me: You know what would look nice on you?
She: What?
Me: My balls, in your mouth

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John April 21, 2009 at 7:00 am

Some lines I use

Me: Makes a joke*
Her: Punches arm
Me: I’m sorry! Did I break your hand with my rock hard body?

Me: We should study sometimes
Her: I’m not much of a study group person, its distracting
Me: Looks at her directly* Then you wouldn’t want to study with me then

Me: Look at those fireworks (as I say this I throw my arms in the air and then slowly and gently put my arm on her shoulders)

When you walk around be sure to stick your chest out and if a girl glaces your way be sure to stare until she looks eye contact. I immediately stop during this situation. If she looks again I would walk over and say Hi or depending on the situation “Yeah I get that all the time” (assuming they’re blushing)

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Tazer April 21, 2009 at 5:44 pm

Her(sick at the time): I hope I don’t give you my cold./I hope I don’t pass it on to you/etc.
Me: I knew it. You just want to give me the plague. And then when I’m weakened you can have your way with me. I got you figured out(nodding with head cocked at an angle and eye contact).

Me:(blah blah blah about your day and what you got done)And how is your day shaping up?
Her: I’ve gotten a lot done today(blah blah blah).
Me: So you did (blah blah blah). Do I LOOK like I have a COOKIE
for you? Ah, instead you’ll probably ask me to give you one of my amazing, stress-relieving back massages. In that case… I’ll think about it and get back to you tomorrow.(grin and if she grins back tug her shoulder to turn around so you can massage her)

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mikole April 28, 2009 at 9:45 pm

GODAMN! You’re all idiots if you think this really works on girls…yeah on sluts maybe…but the type of woman one would like to marry? hell no!…these are just stupid, lame, lines that dont do anything for me and doubt will for any woman with brains in her head…so go ahead and use these lines, they will get you all the sluts you want and all the stds they carry.

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Dale April 29, 2009 at 1:25 pm

So what exactly is worng with “When you go in a store and write a check they always ask for your phone number to write on the check (this obviously does not work if your number is already printed on the check although you could use some variations in that case) When they ask for your number just smile and say “It won’t do you any good I already have a girlfriend.” You can of course say something afterward to let them know you don’t really have a girlfriend and it IS ok for them to call you”

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Dale April 29, 2009 at 1:29 pm

Besides mikole, maybe this is how we weed out the sluts from the girls we would consider marriage material. If SOME of this stuff works on them we know we can cross them off our list …and put them on a whole ‘nother list entirely. lol

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kevin April 29, 2009 at 1:31 pm

Hey guys I need some help; there is this girl in my chemistry class pretty hot I might add and she keeps looking with one of those I want you type looks. What should I say to her that will get things movin along?

-Thanks

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Adrian April 30, 2009 at 1:54 pm

@ kevin……..whenever u c that she’s lookin at u walk up 2 her n say, “Yea I kno I’m good lookin n I c that look in ur eye I don’t blame u….I only masturbate 2 pictures of myself” either that or sing that pitbull song 2 her “I know you want me” lol

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Pablo May 6, 2009 at 8:44 pm

Hey guys this is my two cents on the subject. Here is a situation I used several time in a cocky and funny way when a girl ask me if I’m single or not…

Remember is not what you say to her but actually the way you say it.

In a conversation that is going well:

She: do you have a girlfiend?
Me: No…. (dramatic pause) Just a boyfriend (With a serious face)
She: laughing a bit
She: No, really I’m serious
Me: (With a smile) Me too… ok ok you got me, I’ve been dating 5 girls, but don’t blame me, blame them; they couldn’t resist me…

Thanks
Pablo

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Pablo May 7, 2009 at 7:47 am

Here are some sms i sent through my cell to some chicks I met.

Situation 1)
I met a girl and asked for his cell phone number, and a later on I sent her a sms like this:
Me: This is your lucky day, you’ re gonna start hanging around important people :P

Situation 2)
After I met a girl and knew her and hanged out for a while I sent an sms like this:
Me: If I have any spare time on Sunday I’ll perhaps let you see me… But promise you won’t harass me :D

Thanks
Pablo

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Jones May 12, 2009 at 3:11 am

Overall good comments here but what’s up with some of the female comments? Please add some valuable content to this thread before writing some useless “That-wouldn’t-work-on-me-anyway-BS”. You must be jealous because nobody ever hits on you anyway…

More to the point:
A little longer into the conversation in a bar/club/party, when she is already interested in you and is starting to become impatient because you won’t get closer with her physically, say first seriously, then sarcastically at towards the end:
“You are…three drinks away from me.” (can be amplified by taking a step towards her right before saying “three”)

This shows that you know she wants you, that you’re not needy but at the same time you are considering getting closer.

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JTD May 12, 2009 at 8:14 am

Used this the other night in NYC-

Texted a girl that i met in college asked her to come meet up with me and some people downtown and she lives all the way uptown and couldn’t find any friends to go with her.

After some bullshitting about how i’ll make it worth her night and teaseing her

Her: “I scared to take the subway by myself, I might get raped”
Me: “You think way to highly of yourself”
Her: “Oh come on I’m hot and tiny, I could be taken advantage of”
Me: “So either way the night will get with you getting taken advantage of, so you should come down anyway”

She never came but i got a dirty picture in my inbox after i told her I had to go cuz some hotties were checking me out.

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Oj May 12, 2009 at 6:07 pm

There is one all y’all can use when u meet a girl.

Her: hi(puts her hand out so she can shake it)
You: (shake her hand and bring It like your going to kiss it and just as about your going to kiss it, kiss your own hand)

It works every time. Trust me

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The_Seducer May 25, 2009 at 4:35 am

Oh, and guyz, always remember:

It’s the character. It’s not WHAT you say. You can say anything. It’s HOW you say it.

Now, onto THE line (lol):

{You are looking at her body, boobs… and then she says:)
- What are you doing?!
- Heyyyyyy, I’m not finished yet! Then look at her ass, boobs, whateva!! Just don’t forget to look at HER EYES when u FINISH and move on to the next topic OR………

Move phisically! (You’ve already shown that You are a MAN!) Not any other man that when she asks: ‘what the fuukkkk are you doing?!’, wusses out and either says: ‘nothing’, or ‘I’m sorry’. GET IT, boyzzzzzzz?! It’s a FUCKING test (almost LITERALLY….mmmmm)…

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B May 27, 2009 at 3:33 am

If she gives you a compliment.

You: Look I know how you women are: First a little compliment, then phone number, then back to your place to check out your stereo…I’m not like that!

Check out my website for more cocky & funny lines!

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Mikewrecked June 11, 2009 at 2:29 pm

In response to the “did it hurt when you fell from heaven” one:

I had a guy use that on a girl i was sitting next to. He was standing behind her when he said it. this is how it went:

Guy: Did it hurt?
Girl: what?
Guy: When you fell from heaven?

i jumped in before she could with:

Me: I’m sure it did, she obviously fell on her face

she couldn’t believe it. it struck up quite some playful banter back and forth and took her home that night. its now turned into booty calls as long as i keep her on her toes and make sure she knows she’s there for me and not the other way around.

keep ‘em comin guys

mikewrecked

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Greg June 11, 2009 at 10:48 pm

Ok I guess I have a few. One I got from a cartoon called animanicacs.

1. (when she knows you like to kid)
Me: you know what I like about you.
Her: What?
Me: (smiling very nicely) absolutely nothing.

2. Me: I love you… like a fat kid… loves exercise.

3. (if she ever has trouble hearing you)
Her: What?
Me: (roll eyes) Somebody get this girl a Q-tip

4. (I know fart jokes are lame but if she ever sits in a seat that makes a (whoopie cushion sound)
Her: (sits)
Me: (stare at her shocked and say) Oh… thats gross!!! ::you can bust on her all night about that one::

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yellow June 22, 2009 at 1:33 pm

hey guys, i got a good 1.

walk up to a drop dead gorgeous girl in a bar.
He- “hi”
no response from her.
He- “are you a lesbian?”
She- “excuse me?!” (annoyed)
He- “i’m just assuming that ur a lesbian because if u were’nt, u probably wouldn’t be able to resist me!”

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Maxitalian July 8, 2009 at 5:52 am

Hi guys, I give my small contribution to this site,
besides I feel I have to, after all this time I’m only reading some of your very useful lines!

So, normally on the first dates (with more hot ladies it works better) when I am in a bar that I have chosen for having a cup of green tea (De Angelo quote:) at a certain point she will always ask me “where is the toilet”.
Then with a serious face I tell her: “Well, walk out the entrance of the bar, cross the street, turn left and there you find it!” as you point there with your finger.
She will first seriously listen at you and when she realises what you just said is absurd, she will have a good laugh and at this point you can also laugh or smile to her!

It almost always works. You brake the ice, show confidence, playful character and overall that you get it ;-)

Comments welcome! Ciao!

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Dale July 9, 2009 at 12:28 pm

Or you could just direct them back to the toilet at YOUR place

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tom July 21, 2009 at 10:58 pm

Me: (wave at bartender)
Her: Hi, what can I get you
Me: I like your face
Her: (laughs or says thank you)
Me: Now let me make out with it

I used this one on a girl I met who was bartending one night. It was the best pickup I ever had. We went back to my place after closing, and well, you can just guess what happenend.

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Dan July 30, 2009 at 1:53 pm

(shes complaining about any guy)
Me: but girls can get guys to do whatever they want.. all they have to do is go like this “mime squeezing boobs together” im soooorrry…
off FRIENDS

(she complains about work, etc.)
Me: tbh i don’t know how you get any work done with those.. i mean if i were a girl id be too busy staring down all the time..
off FRIENDS

(guy refuses something)
Me: ok do you reckon he’s gay or straight because one of us is going to have to start flirting
Her: (usually) id say gay (laughing)..
Me: (goes up to guy) omg i love your shirt (exaggerated campness)
off FRIENDS

these lines only work if shes seen friends, but they are hilarious.

(guy refuses something, im with a group of girls)
Me: ok someone’s going to have to take one for the team and take their shirt off :P
MYSELF

(shes sucking on icecream, etc.)
Me: are you enjoying that? (she nods.. keep looking at her while grinning..) ..mmmmmmmm(yummy noise) XD

this one’s once you know her
(you have your arm around her while sitting down)
Me: im not going to lie to you “her name”… im staring at your tits (in a casual as possible voice – importantly dont actually stare at her tits, you’re PRETENDING to have a dirty mind)

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Owen August 3, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Does any one know a C&F email to get a girls attention?

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Ricky August 4, 2009 at 10:42 am

You want cocky and funny.
Pick up some from the “Friends” movie and pay attention on Chandler. You`ll get some great ideas.

Her: “Oh, i really love babies”.
You: “Well, we can`t do it now i have to get up early in the morning”.

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Sev August 25, 2009 at 5:16 am

You can approach 2 girls on the street with this:

Hey guys, do you like getting compliments from strangers on the street?

90 percent of the time they will say yes, and then you go:
Great, me to, you can start, compliment me!
If they can’t say anything say to them: wow you are not really creative, and they’ll try to reedeem themselves and start a conversation.
If they say anything about you looks or your clothes or personality then say:
Whoah, take it easy, that won’t get you anywhere, I’m not that kind of guy.
When it’s your turn to compliment them, just say: I wanted to say something good about you but I got a bad first impression because you where just siting here starring, practically drooling over me and didn’t have the guts to approach me and say hi.
Does this happen often with you, or you just cant control it around guys like me?

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FEMALE September 2, 2009 at 5:43 pm

Some of this stuff is golden!! My boyfriend is a PUA (well I should say he WAS a PUA because I’m hoping he isn’t actively practicing this anymore LOL). He even used to teach classes. He used quite a bit of material on me at the beginning and I must admit the uniqueness of having a guy come up to you and not just throw some typical, cheesy pick-up lines at you is refreshing and extremely intriguing. When he told me about all this PUA stuff I actually found it really interesting. Unfortunately however, he still refuses to reveal all his techniques to me because he says I know too much already (LOL).

He did tell me, though, that I threw him a lot of curve balls and that a lot of my responses to lines that he used on a lot of girls before me were not typical at all so he had to alter and adjust his game accordingly. So you can’t expect all women to respond the same to what you say. Some of these “lines” require women to respond just the way you want them to in order for it to pan out successfully but sometimes that just doesn’t happen. The most important thing is to just be confident in yourself and educate yourself on the CONCEPTS and THEORIES behind the material. It’s important to be able to be flexible and not just attempt to recite lines that you’ve merely memorized. After that it will just come naturally.

And to say this stuff only works on trashy sluts is stupid. It is just applying the knowledge of psychology into real life situations. This whole “cocky comedy” stuff is simply playful bantering.. every woman loves a confident, funny guy. Plus, these are just openers that allow you to break the ice in a new and interesting way.

Game, when applied correctly, can benefit everyone. It gives guys who would otherwise be shy confidence and it gives girls a chance to get to know a guy they might not generally find themselves talking to. Everyone deserves to be happy and everyone deserves a chance at love! Just don’t abuse the system.

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D4v1dM4nn September 9, 2009 at 11:38 pm

Nice lines on here… but here are a few of my own that I personally love.

(if she starts singing to a song in my car)
“You know – this song is kinda annoying as it is – but with you singing it – shit.. you almost make the original singer sound good”

(or)

When she starts pouting about something.
“oh poor baby, you’ve been whining to get your way since you were two.. did it ever work then??”

(or)

When she complains about something I’m doing.

“Well then you might just want to leave – cuz I do it a lot”.

(or)

When she kisses me a lot.

“Wow, you must really like me – you sure do kiss me a lot”

(or)

When she says something stupid say:

“Wow. that’s the blond in you coming out – isn’t it”
(if she happens to be a dirty blond and replies “actually i’m brunette or dirty blond” – THIS IS AWESOME STUFF… reply “Oh you ARE a *DIRTY* blond, aren’t you” (implying sexual sarcasm here with a smile). You will usually get a punch in the arm and in which case you can spank her ass.

(or)

I know this one may seem a little risky… but if the girl is thin (or relatively thin) then it will work as long as you keep a somewhat LIGHT attitude about you.)

When she complains about feeling fat earlier on in the day or something…. and you go out to dinner and she orders a big meal (or she talks about what she ate previously)… comment “wow.. fatty” in a sarcastic way. Works wonders.. she’ll usually pretend to get upset and hit you while laughing.. in which case you can say “I thought you were on Jenny Craig” and smile.
-shit works no lie-

(or)
LAST ONE FOR NOW:

She complains about something (maybe her “bad hair day” or such).. you can commenton how embarrassed you are to be seen with her in public and how “everyone is looking at her”. GOOD SHIT!

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popo September 14, 2009 at 3:11 am

I m new to Cocky funny…but i knw u guys will adjust…

Her: Why are u looking so dull?
Me: So, after whole days work do u think I will look like Brad Pitt.

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dudeness September 19, 2009 at 10:54 pm

ok girl askes wht your deepest darkest secret is. and you tell her its that you CAN keep a secret. then she says thats lame. then you say “dont worry i wont tell anyone you called me lame

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CORE! September 21, 2009 at 11:03 pm

ME: do you have a pen?
HER:theres two replies No or Yes,
NO- ME”great, now i will never be able to know to spell you name on my valentine’s day card”
YES- ME:depends on what comes to mind, or why you need one

Just the other day at lunch in highschool,a girl and her friend walk up to me, and one of the girls run away, one of the girls comes and leans on my shoulders and begins to breath hard. i had many things to say, but this is what came to mind:

ME: Whats wrong?
HER: tired
ME:yeah i can tell, almost fell on me
HER:NO!(expectded response)
ME: its okay if you wanna kiss me just say so
Her:(she laughs her ass off)
ME: what was with you friend?
HER: she likes you
ME: apparently you love me if you are still here
HER: Maybe

Also in one of my classes i always use this one:
HER:(she would mumble something to her self)
ME: hows it going today schizo?(schizophrenic)
HER: what did you call me?
Me:Crazy
Her:i am not crazy you think i am crazy(hitting me in my arm)
My friend:(wingman needed, for deeper effect)we dont think, WE KNOW
ME: i would sing the Gnrals Barkley song- CRAZY,
“this girl is CRAAZAAY,this girl is craaazaaay, JUST LIKE YOU”
HER: she dies from laughter

The next day with the same girl
HER:what are you doing?
ME: making a list of why your crazy
Her: dont do that *in a serious tone* (hitting me in my arm)
ME: i am adding that to the list, hitting people for no reason
HER: she reaches over and hits me again.

i have done this stuff without knowing,the key to it is to never lose eye contact, only when doing a sarcastic line or so, depends when you do it. GL

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craig September 24, 2009 at 11:13 am

Those last two were really lame, just to let you guys know. Don’t post anything that you’d never use in an actual situation.

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Ernesto September 30, 2009 at 3:20 pm

i got one.

girls like random shit ,so if u wanna talk to a random girl say this:
how much does a polar bear weigh?
she: mmm i dont know
me: enough to break the ice, hello my name is…

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Savage October 5, 2009 at 11:55 pm

If your ever in a party situation and you spark up a conversation with a girl, roll with this one.

You: Soooo… who exactly invited you here? (Be sure to raise an eyebrow, squint and grin, being friendly but showing doubt in her ability to attend somethin like this and your obvious acceptance into the party)

Her: I’m friends with the guy who owns the house (Probably in a matter of fact tone and a smirk)

You: Well pardon me, some of us earn our places, not all of us are so orally persuasive (This is C&F and a neg that can even lead to a shit test later)

Shit test

Her: I bet you would looove to see how I got in here

You: Sorry hun, left my wallet in the car

If you carry yourself with an air of arrogance and confidence, she will seek your approval. Cat and string theory yall.

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Dale October 7, 2009 at 9:01 am

Good one Ernesto.

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Dan October 19, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Passed by two girls at a party and overheard their conversation.
One of them was telling the other about a cool guy she had met, but now can’t remember his name, so I turned back and leaned in as I was passing by and said “GoSH!!! Its NOT that hard *looking disappointed at the girl* My name is Dan! And this the last time I will repeat it”

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John Murray October 20, 2009 at 9:53 am

Uhh ok this one is pushing boundaries but she loved it!

(After she’s pulled a hair out my head and put it on her shoulder)

Her: See now if I get murdered tonight you’ll be the prime suspect cos your DNA is on me with this hair.

Me: I think it will be the fact that you’ll be full of my semen that will be my main downfall.

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cowboy October 21, 2009 at 10:02 am

I have a VERY CRUCIAL question regarding C&F comments…

Im new to this concept of c&f. Now i’ve begun practising it with some girls who are friends of mine. The thing is : besides the fact that its tough to find some good matter to say (doesnt come naturally), it sounds sort of jerk-ish even if ive managed to make something up. No matter HOW i alter the way i say it, be it with a serious stern face or with a smirk or…. anything really, it seems to them that im just trying to act cool or saying stuff to make them laugh… The same happens when im chatting with them online… Im not saying that it makes a bad impression on them… just that overall it only looks like im using some “friendly” humour, as though im cracking a P.J. or something… if you know what i mean.
Ive already given a lot of thought on how to make c&f work the way it should, like altering my body language and stuff… but it also seems your past impressions on the gals also play a major role.
If anyone has any suggestions on how to make it really work plz plz plz plz leave a comment on this thread… or you could email me on dudeag@yahoo.in
Im sure many of u guyz must have gone thru this phase at some point in the beginning :D

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Ryan October 23, 2009 at 3:14 pm

Okay so I used this on a girl this week and wrote about it in more detail on my blog. There was a girl sitting next to me reading and I said, “Stop that, it’s really distracting.”

She said, “What? What’s distracting?”

I replied with, “Your reading, I saw you reading, and you looked so enthralled that I had to know what that book is about.”

She smiled and told me all about the book. I like it because it led right into a natural conversation.

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Mapper October 26, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Her: (Singing or humming a song)
You: (acting interested) who sings that originally?
Her: Responds with band/artist name
You: Ah yeah… let’s keep it that way shall we? (with cheeky face)

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Riddlar November 2, 2009 at 11:56 am

Hey guys this is Great stuff…. I need a little help with this situation: Lets see how many great minds are here!!!!!

Ive met this girl 2 times. First time didnt talk to her much cuz i thought she was a dyke (long story) 2nd time was at a bar we talked a little bit but the music was so loud i couldnt here my self think. I heard from her friend that she likes me…. now i dont have her number or anything, but guess what i tracked her down on facebook (thats whats up haha) yeah i know its lame but w/e what do i have to lose, ive been looking for a good C&F first message to send her, She is super shy so more funny and less cocky whould be perfect!

Any help is appreciated, thanks guys!

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kenny November 2, 2009 at 5:35 pm

do you all ways go arround seducing guys with this (wait for two seconds)then say i mean your cat walk,am not seduced at all, girl you need to walk on your waist movement, before i can consider you in my world

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hnh07h November 3, 2009 at 9:09 pm

You want to taste something good my mom did ?

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Aaron November 7, 2009 at 5:06 pm

You: Do anything interesting this weekend
Her: Yeah I blah blah blah (Cut her off)
You: I said interesting.

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cockUm November 11, 2009 at 8:18 pm

Here is a great way to open with any beautiful woman.
You: Hey I need a female opinion on something
Her: Stops in her tracks and is curious
You: I have a friend who is talking to this girl who is taller than him. He is only like 5″2 and she is about 5″11. She tells him that she doesn’t know if she can continue to date him because he is shorter than her. They have went out a couple of times already. Is there anything my friend can say to get past this?
Her: She will laugh and tell you her opinion.
You later: Would you date a guy that is shorter than you?

This has been tested over 10 times and has always got a laugh plus you can transition after you have opened.

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Levi November 12, 2009 at 8:49 pm

Ha so what do i with this one girl.

Me: What’s Up?
Her: About to go play pool at Casey’s house. You?
Me: Ha well now i just feel bad for him.
Her: Whys that exactly?
Me: Ha cause your gonna be there.
Her: Well fuck you then.
Me: Well thats kind of aggressive.
Her: Well your kind of a dick.

haha where exactly am i supposed to go from there?

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Levi November 12, 2009 at 8:57 pm

alright to finish that convo above.

Me: Ha i think thats one of my more redeeming qualities actually.
Her. Ok.

Did i do something wrong or is she just uninterested? I also havea bit of a history with her.

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Jack November 15, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Many of the C&F examples on here are brilliant. However, some people are missing the whole concept. The idea behind Cocky Comedy is increasing YOUR value.
“Z” explained it perfectly. You should all read his comment. The date of submission for his comment is 7 April 2009. So scroll up NOW.

AN example that I came up with and used during class hours:

Her: Can I please have a paper?
Me: Look, if you wanna tell me how much you love me, just SAY it. You don’t have to write it down. We’re both adults, and you can be honest with me. (Said Lightheartedly with *Sincere* eyes.)

She REALLy enjoyed that one.
Btw, I got the “We’re both adults, and you can be honest with me” from one of David D’s Cocky Funny examples. It’s a great addition!!

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Son November 17, 2009 at 6:16 pm

she will be dancing close to me in a bar or club and i will tap her on the shoulder, tell her shes in my dancing space and push her away

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G-Dubb November 18, 2009 at 5:46 pm

90% of these comments just let me know that no matter how far we are trying to get away from cheezy pickup lines and acting like a douchebag, most guys just don’t seem to get it. I feel like I’m on a high-school forum for either “who can come up with the sappiest line”, or “who can make the girl see how much of a tool I really am?”

Guys, your “negs” are completely out of sync with what we have learned from Mystery, Style, DeAngelo, etc. For some strange reason, a forum devoted to PUA material has been reduced to an SNL skit about “how to be an arrogant jackass that thinks he’s a stand-up-comedian”. Have you learned NOTHING by studying The Game!?

Seriously, 90-99% of you have obviously never read ‘The Game’, watched ‘The Pickup Artist’, listened to any of David DeAngelo’s material, or basically took the time to find out what REALLY works when approaching a set. You are all dooming yourselves to the lives of a greasy scumbag who knows nothing of the teaching from the masters.

Do yourselves a favor. Next time, instead of trying to be Andrew Dice Clay in your next encounter with a female, politely excuse yourself from the set and go to the bookstore. If you are still stubborn and think that laying on the “I’m so insecure that I have to call you a whore and portray myself as a sexual god” will get you somewhere, please buy a really good book from 1976 on pickup lines. I’m sure “What’s your sign?” will be in there if you haven’t thought of that one yet.

If you really care, if you REALLY want to know the tactics and maneuvers that are necessary to move your “game” up a notch, then seek out material by the people I’ve already mentioned. You will immediately find that what is going on in this thread has NOTHING to do with having “game”. Your “game” that is on display here is the entire reason that Mystery and his fellow pick-up-artists have devised a distinct method to AVOID having to lower yourselves to cheezy one-liners.

I fully realize that a lot of you are just starting out, and you want to throw in your (what you think) is prime material. I don’t fault you for that. Just PLEASE, for all of our sakes, at LEAST read “The Game” by Neil Strauss. I will consider anything you decide to indulge yourself in after that just gravy.

I’m not writing this post to belittle you guys that seem to think that flat-out insulting a woman, or forcing a sexual innuendo on them is the right way to sarge. I’m trying to let you in on material that will change your life. If you are too lazy to figure it out, I have no pity on you when you fail constantly with the Asshole/Douchebag lines. Most of what I have seen here are distinctly NOT “Cocky/Funny”. They are the same shitty “pickup” lines that true PUA’s have been honing their craft to get away from.

Anyone that is still listening….STOP reading this post for material. The stuff that these guys are putting forth will only hurt your game. Search harder, read the proven material, download some seminars by DeAngelo, Mystery, etc., and then come back to this thread. Only then will you see how foolish this whole thing is. “Cocky/Funny”? No, almost all of these comments are Arrogant/Douchey. Tool/Cheezy. They go against everything that we are supposed to be learning, and the entire reason we are part of this forum in the first place. Start over. It’s not hard. All of the material is there if you REALLY want to find it. Good luck guys. You’re gonna need it if you’re still telling women that they fell out of heaven or saying that they are flat-out ugly. Negs are a happy medium. You will learn if you bother to find out. Good God.

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Dale November 18, 2009 at 9:18 pm

Wow! son…maybe after you have knocked her over you can kick her around the dance floor while you are at it.

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The Captain December 6, 2009 at 10:04 am

I’ve used this one before, she laughed but unfortunately I didn’t get anywhere.

her: I have a boyfriend
me: ahhhh the jealous boyfriend
her: yes
me: well tell him I’ll take him out another time!

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Ryan December 6, 2009 at 11:20 am

Works for any girl you see often or only a second time.

Me: Are you stalking me?

Her: No! (Or yes)

Me: Good, this would be a terrible time in my career to end up as a lampshade in your apartment. (If she says yes, I thought so. You do give off the “I hack people up in their sleep” vibe.) Just be creative with it, guys (or gals) with the stalker line…either way you win.

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Christian December 7, 2009 at 3:04 pm

LOVE YOU ALL David De Angelo AND CO…… KEEP DOING THE GOOD WORK

Mankata

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Woman December 15, 2009 at 11:50 pm

I’m a woman who stumbled upon this site, and I have to say, I find this whole thing fascinating. It never occurred to me that men actually practice this sort of thing.

But I have a couple of tips for you. I’ve been having a very flirtatious back and forth with a guy who does the “cocky funny” thing very well (and hey, thanks! After seeing this site, I guess I know he likes me;)). And one of the reasons he does it well is that it’s somewhat self deprecating, and is NOT INSULTING.

AND FOR GOD’S SAKE, DO NOT INSULT A WOMAN PHYSICALLY EXCEPT IN THE VAGUEST OR MOST JOKING OF WAYS–if that. Not only will this backfire with a lot of woman from the word go, and you will never get to base one with her, but if a woman STILL wants to sleep with you after that…

It will NOT be as good as it could be. Because in the middle of it, she’ll think “He thinks I’m fat/hairy/ugly/unattractive/etc.” She’ll want to hide her body, she’ll be self concious, and she will be in her head–which doesn’t make for good sex. I realize part of the idea is to “take her down a notch” so to speak, but people also act the way you treat them–if you want a sex goddess in the bedroom, treat her like one.

And all of these cock/funny lines…they will only work if you balance them with high praise as well. There has to be a reason for her to come back, some encouragement.

I’m sure few of you will get the reference, but think Jimmy Stewart in Philadelphia Story. He pulls off tons of “neg-hits”–but ultimately what makes Katherine Hepburn swoon is his empassioned speech about how radiant she is…in fact, that whole movie is about taking a woman off of her pedastal–but making her more “divine” in the process.

But perhaps that stuff is more for your advanced classes.:)

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random January 1, 2010 at 10:04 am

-Out on a date with a cute girl.-

Her: You are the most sarcastic guy ive ever been with.

Me: really?…(Pause)….”You look hot.”

Her: Oh Shut Up! (punches me in my arm)

Me: you punch like a girl.

then she looked at me and smiles…in a naughty way.

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random January 1, 2010 at 10:21 am

signs if a girl wants you to be her boyfriend.

her: i dont like liking you.

me: why?

her: i don’t know what you want.

me: hhmmmm…pause for 5 secs……well, i like cars, food…etc.

her: punches me in my arm again and looks at me.

me: i want you to give me a kiss. ( look straight in her eyes and keep composure)

she then grabs my head and makes out with me.

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Jackson the bastard January 3, 2010 at 8:40 am

check this gangster one.
Her: where u been i missed you/ lets go somewhere
me: sorry you are not the only girl in my life that needs attention

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The Nice Jerk January 5, 2010 at 8:44 pm

Most of these lines are terrible. Clearly a lot of you guys don’t fully grasp the C&F concept.

A good majority of the lines posted here are just not funny. At all. When your line isn’t funny, it will make you look like a goof ball.

Something to keep in mind is to just have fun! I can tell just by what some of you are writing that you are trying too hard. It doesn’t have to be hard. Just have fun. Have that be the only goal…to have fun.

You have fun with your buddies and feed them C&F lines. And I bet they all go off without a hitch. Why? Because you are comfortable around them. So just do the same with women. Be comfortable and just have fun.

I’m naturally C&F, long before DD put a name to it. So it’s actually hard for me to sit here and try to remember exactly what I say as I usually just come up with stuff on the fly.

But one of the most successfully lines I ever used went like this. Me and a buddy were checking out this older woman at a bar. She looked to be about 40-ish but she was just stunning! She kept looking back at us. My buddy was in his 40′s and I, at the time, was in my young 20′s. So I assumed she was checking him out.

I was wrong.

A few hours later she walked by me and literally grabbed me by my shirt and drug me to her table where she was sitting with a [female] friend. She said how she saw me checking her out earlier. I laughed and said “No I wasn’t. There was a hot girl behind you that I was looking at and you kept getting in my way.” That got me a big punch on the arm. She knew I was full of it and just teasing her.

Again, it’s all about just having fun. I do a bunch of playful things with women and it’s fun for me and fun for her. What more could you ask for?

Some fun examples…

When coming up to a door, I jump ahead and grab it to open the door for her. As she gets to it I quickly close it and smile. She smiles/laughs. I open it back up for her.

When handing something to waitresses/cashiers/etc. I pull back at the last second. So say I go to hand a waitress my credit card, right before she grabs it I pull it away. Then again. One more time. Then I accuse her of messing around. All done with a playful tone and smirk on my face.

When ordering food at a restaurant, I’ll keep a straight face and order a PB&J sandwich and tell her to cut it up into little triangles and I’ll order a glass of milk and tell her I want one of those twisty straws in it or tell her I want a sippy cup.

Sounds silly, but it always gets a laugh and she will always comment back. Good way to get a conversation started.

Walking next to a girl, I’ll give her a little hip check.

Walking next to a girl and coming up on something on the side, say a trashcan on a city street, I’ll gradually start walking toward her and eventually it becomes obvious I’m trying to make her walk into the trash can. When she realizes what I’m doing I smile/laugh/smirk.

I number girls. For example, I know a girl that lives in Virginia. I’ll text her asking “How is my 4th favorite VA girl?” Of course she (all women would) texts back something like “hey, how come I’m not #1!!” or some variation of that.

If I’m sitting at a table and a girl happens to accidentally kick my foot, I’ll accuse her of playing footsies with me.

Just keep everything light and fun. That is my goal when I’m interacting with a woman. Not to get her number. Not to sleep with her. Just to have fun. The other stuff will come as a side effect of having fun.

Just have fun and leave her better than you found her.

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touche September 11, 2013 at 8:26 pm

I used to be that guy, until I met a girl. Broken up now after almost 6yrs. I was always so cheery, and realized that I had a lot to offer to girls, and I was comfortable with them.

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Jackson the bastard January 6, 2010 at 12:27 pm

hey guys watch spread(film) and analyse ashton Kutcher’s characters, t shows that all u have to do is act calm n let the chick be nervous n when she trys to blow u o smtin then u become Mr cocky. a few lines i got from the film.
chick: k ur cute n erytin bt u aint cmin home wit me
Me: Is that all u gat, cmon u gats to try better than that….k try this one am married.
chick: no
me: am deeply in love wit someone
her: no
killa
me: then gimme a good reason y i shldn go home wit u.
her: i do know u
thats wen u put ur lips on hers, wat u call dat playa.

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love her long time January 7, 2010 at 3:02 am

love this post blog thing, get to see where everyones ideas well heres mine a cocky and funny close

her:well have a good day
me:sigh don’t tell me what to do

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Donovan January 12, 2010 at 5:44 pm

“sigh dont tell me what to do”

that would probably work well if you did it in a really monotone voice then waited 2 seconds and laughed (if on the phone) or smirk in person

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iamjohncena January 8, 2010 at 3:41 pm

ME: Is your Dad in prison by any Chance?
Her: No Why?
ME: Because if i was your dad i’m sure I’D be in prison!!

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Dennis Miedema January 9, 2010 at 10:35 am

I don’t even do cocky & funny, I’m just my bad boy self. Just look at my name: Dennis… The Menace, ain’t it obvious that I was BORN for teasing? Anyways, here are some of my “lines”:

1) Me(when calling her and when she picks up):”Hi I’m looking for miss …(insert her name here)”
Her: “that’s me silly!”
Me: “oh… I thought you were an ugly fat chick because you sure sound like one on the phone!”

2) Me (when she’s shorter than me):”I want to ask you a really personal question if I may…”
Her: “well, okay…”
Me (looking at her with a smirk): “how tall are you? Like… 4 feet?”

3) Me (when she’s taller than me): see above! Works even better on tall women!

4) Me (when she’s taller than me): “you know, I feel sorry for you…”
Her: “why?”
Me: “because you must have had steroids for breakfast since birth with YOUR length! I mean, even NBA players don’t have SH*T on YOU!”

5) Me (whenever she’s holding a glass): “oeh… what you’re drinking?”
Her: “bla bla (doesn’t matter)”
Me: “You’re such a liar, because your face looks like there’s at least 200% alcohol in your glass! Are you DRUNK lady!?”

I´d much rather discuss the techniques behind them though. My personal technique: tell them everything they DON´T want to here, which is usually the opposite of what they look like!

- Tall = short
- Skinny = fat
- Academic chick = dumb blonde
- Sporty chick = lazy couch potato who´s definition of sport is Wii baseball
- Goth chick = undercover hiphop junkie
- Hip hop girl = conservative redneck DNA
- Skater girl = republican, anti-drugs, anti-hippie, etc.

Need I say more?

P.S. I don’t even call those lines above here my lines because I create new ones for each situation, I always like to freestyle things. Much more natural, much more fun.

To more dating success,

Dennis Miedema

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Jackson the bastard January 9, 2010 at 11:10 am

to the guy above( dennis) that shit will get u nowhere, matter of fact will degrade ur attractiveness, that aint corky u just being abusive n e galz will take u for an asshole.

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jp January 9, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Great stuff here, others not so…If she shorty i call her Minnie… And I say: Must be difficult to you find clothes that fix you without be in kid section.

Dennis… that´s shit

Spread is a good movie… i like when he goes to the bed with the waitress, nice close ;)
Already have use that one :)… well not exactly but similar.

sorry for bad english

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Ulrich January 10, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Girl spills drink over herself (dress, top, pants… whatever).

Me: Oh my.. just look at you.. (exagerating) soaking wet. Let’s go get you out of those clothes.

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jp January 13, 2010 at 4:39 am

She drop something…
That´s why i cant give you nice things!

I only say to a girl that i love her later she told me she love me.
I usualy say when she say that:
All you want is my money!

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Danger January 14, 2010 at 3:00 am

Good Lord. Who are you all trying to pick up? Bubba, who doesn’t so much care what’s coming out of your mouth, so long as he gets to put something in it?

Do yourselves a favor. Go to Barnes and Noble, and spend $20 on “The Rules of the Game” by Neil Strauss. Then you can stop attracting Teresa, the 46 year-old transvestite in the corner of the bar, and start picking up some legitimate 10s.

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mario January 18, 2010 at 9:02 am

hey… In my opinion i think that book is good… it have good ideas, but i sure have more fun doing cocky and funny stuff and when u are really good u dont need that rules for nothing… well, u already dont need that rules. Only bring anxiety … Just having fun talking to girls is the best way… Only the programs that david deangelo are really help me, not only atract women but in all my life, just talking to friends are diferent, its become better, changed my way of think to better… and hey… i have a lot of friends, females and males but i was a litle afraid of intimacy, but if you think that u just want to have fun with the chick u will not be afraid of nothing and it will be better for you!!

Just have fun… call them ugly and fat :)… they will love. (well not that girls that really are fat and ugly, u sure dont want them)

one theme that many girls love to talk… blondes vs brunettes, joke with the fact that they are stupid because they are blonde, and calling all the time a brunette “blonde” because they have do something stupid its just better :)… u will annoying her but in a funny way.

Be creative in that theme

mario

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braves January 25, 2010 at 11:57 pm

What’s a good C&F response to a situation where a girl would say something like hey, is your name , you look like someone I know from highschool.

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Dennis Miedema January 28, 2010 at 9:54 am

@ braves: here’s a response…

You: That depends on one thing and one thing alone…
Her: And what is that?
You: Whether you’re a sex hungry groupie or an angry psycho b*tch

To more dating success,

Dennis Miedema

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aica January 28, 2010 at 4:45 pm

hey,
the two approaches that for me, so far, delivered are:

1)-especially on vacation-hey I just got here and I have no clues about where to go tonite. You look like someone who knows how to have fun, any suggestions?
then when she starts to list bars/clubs maybe you get lucky and she will tell you where she’s going tonite,to which you’ll add -may we meet earlier for a drink, so later we can go there together?-and get her number.
if not, push it -so which one of those will you go to tonite/tomorrow?-and get her number
this approach works even better if you’re with a friend or she is,since the group dynamics makes it look like you’re really asking for useful directions and not actually aiming to get her.this makes you a more difficult guy to get if compared to the usual beggars.only later in the meeting you will start to slowly focus on her.and,who knows,she might have hotter friends,so why rush?keep the game for the later stages.

2)-hey so today I was talking to my best friend (girl name) about how people we meet randomly in our life usually do not meet our expectations in terms of being interesting. she agreed,saying she only meets boring guys all the time. therefore she made me promise that tonite I shall talk only to someone that appears to have a personality.and this is why I’m here now, to keep this promise. you see, you have this (way of dressing/genuine attitude/other distinctive attribute) that makes me think there’s something behind your looks-
then you start addressing that specific attribute and play it as if you’re really into that and not actually running after her boobs.

I’m from Italy,where girls are constantly approached by guys 24/7, so you have to be a little creative.
however,these proved to work in international contexts too.

hope they can help you too.

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relaxo February 9, 2010 at 8:32 am

Hey, greetings from Split, Croatia ! Of course this C and F routine works ! Thanks for bringing it to the masses !
I am looking for a wingman somekind of, or somebody to discuss this topic more deep, my e-mail is : theyesman@net.hr !

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Newsome March 1, 2010 at 12:53 am

Hope you guys like these, they all worked for me :)

Her: You’re so cocky!
Me: Yeah I’m a little cocky, but I don’t I think I’m the best person in the world.. (pause, crack a smile) I know it.

That’s always gotten good response.

If you bring a girl home, pour her a glass of champagne, and as you’re handing it to her pause and say “but don’t get any ideas..” ;)

^banged her

Her: Hey, do you wanna hang out on friday?
Me: I’m actually chillin with this girl.. her name is (say the girls name you’re talking to). I’m a little bit out of her league, but I think it might be fun ;)

At a party last friday I used some goofy ones:

Her: I’m always the man in the relationship.
Me: What, you have a dick?
Her: (jokingly) Yeah, it’s 11 inches long.
Me: Damn, you got me beat by an inch.

she cracked up

Me: But really, what’s the perfect dick size, in your opinion?
Her: I’d say about 7 and a half inches.
Me: I was gonna try to hide my excitement but YESSSS!

Me: (dirty remark to 2 girls I’m with)
Girl: We don’t do that, we’re real women!
Me: (point at friend) Don’t call her fat!

ahaha

I’ve known them for a bit, I wouldn’t try that on anybody new lol.

This one’s just funny, a girl came up to me at a party when I was smoking a cigarette and said “Can I hit that?” I handed her the cigarette and she says “No.. can I HIT THAT?”

And you can use the pussy/cat joke a million ways

Her: hold on a sec, I gotta feed my cat
Me: That’s ok, I love your pussy :)

Start petting her cat and say “nice pussy”, “what a soft pussy you have”, “I could rub your pussy allll day” or “your pussy loves attention, doesn’t it?” :P

I’m sleepy, maybe I’ll post more later.

-Keepin it real in the 612

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Model March 24, 2010 at 11:44 am

I got one :D

If women say to you that you have a beautiful eyes, then you reply:
She: you have beautiful eyes
You: Well you know what, they can be yours….buuuut
She will think in a way like, you can be her boyfriend and she will be able to look in your eyes all the time.

then you say it in a playfull way, with smile…
: buuut, you have to pay for the surgery :P

I bet she’ll laugh :D

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Mark March 27, 2010 at 11:06 pm

“Is it hot in here or is it just me”?

or

“Is it sexy in here or is it just me”?

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The_Seducer March 29, 2010 at 2:57 am

She: You’re just so confusing…
Me: Well, if I were simple like an ice cream, you women would EAT ME, all the fucking time, and I’m tired of you only thinking of Me as a sex-object. I have feelings too!!

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Oakley(AFC) March 30, 2010 at 1:16 pm

ohkay yea i put afc up there, but wtf does it mean?

I got two lines, tell me what you think of them.

Her: Let’s have a drink.
Me: You do know you can get 12 years in prison for raping?
Her: I think I’m worth it. (prepare for a comeback)
Me: Your so not.
Her: I’ll show you.
Me: As much as you want to, let’s have you swallow another fluid. (girls love dirty references)

(she stares at you)
Me: You can stop undressing me with your eyes, I have my dignity to keep.
Her: Oh-oh, I knew you were a virgin.
Me: A (insult completely opposite of her, for example she’s really skinny and you say fat) virgin, that’s right.

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Spring April 1, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Dear Friends, Happy April Fool’s Day!!!

He remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl, “Do you like spinach?” She says “No,” and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like spinach?”

Happy April Fool’s Day!

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Oakley(AFC) April 2, 2010 at 6:13 pm

what was that for?

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llectrofish April 3, 2010 at 9:35 am

Say this after teasing a woman for a while:

You: Mostly i tease the girls that i like
She: ohhh so u like me
You: sry but ur an exception..;)
—-
She: are u always such a bad boy?
You: hell no! i only act bad when a girl wich im not intrested in keeps hitting on me.. mostly im a very romantic nice guy;)
—-
You: are u trying to seduce me naughty girl?
She: maybe
You: im just tellin if you wanna have sex with my hot steamy body.. just pay 50 bucks.. or no sry, for u it’s 60
—-
(while having an online conversation)
She: if i see you on a party i will stump u in the nuts;)
You: lady don’t lie to me plz.. probably u’ll be shy as hell when u see me on a party.. but i promise that if u buy me drink, i’ll talk to u;)

I know that there are way better lines then mine above, but im just a beginner so.. (and i even didn’t read david’s book actually)

(and sry 4 my bad english)

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The MACK May 10, 2010 at 3:00 pm

Her: I have a boyfriend.

You: I have a goldfish.

Her: *confused look* or – What?

You: Oh sorry, I thought we were talking about things that didn’t matter.

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jeffree May 13, 2010 at 8:13 am

Hey guys.
When I first read this DeAngelo stuff I was more than skeptical, I thought I wouldn’t want to be with a woman who had such low self-esteem that she would fall for this crap. I thought it was basically encouraging men to be arrogant assholes toward women and if it worked, it wouldn’t last long.
Well, that was a few years ago, and I have to admit after experimenting a little, have come to realize this approach seems to work with astonishing regularity. I’m not talking about just hitting on women, but befriending women. Every woman is different, and there is no sure-fire way of establishing a friendship with a woman, but this general idea (cocky and funny, a combination of egotistical self-assured and harsh teasing of the female) seems to be amazingly effective.
Even my long-term relationship that had fizzled out was filled with sexual energy again when I started applying this technique. I don’t know why it works, but when used correctly, it sure does. The key is to find your personal voice that is cocky and funny. The lines here will point you in the right direction, but should be examples and not a script to follow.

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Popobawa May 15, 2010 at 7:59 pm

As some people already said; most of you didn´t get it at all. You should be COCKY, not a COCKHEAD.
The point of the whole C&F strategy is showing her that not only you don´t shit bricks when you look at her but that she is the one who should try to impress you to deserve your attention. In other words, acting self confident, teasing her and being funny.
But the message you should send to her is “You´re not as attractive as you think”, not “You´re not attractive at all”. And by no manner of means it should be a message like “You are a worthless ugly slut and I wouldn´t touch you with a 10 ft pole” because she will probably kick you in your balls. Words such as fat, ugly, slutty, whore, etc. must be strictly avoided. C&F should make you look self confident, but when you humiliate her, it only looks like you have lack of self confidence so you must compensate it this way. Because self confident men don´t need to insult women.
And the last think: keep it as short as possible.
Y = your sentence, H = her sentence
HY – perfect as a headshot, strongest effect
HYHY – standard
HYHYHY – still acceptable, but the effect is not so strong and there is a risk that she won´t understand it the way you want to
HYHYHYHY and more – too long and complicated, confusing, especially in the evening when she starts being drunk there´s a high risk that she won´t understand what you said and will either stay quiet or even feel insulted. Moreover the longer conversation, the higher the chance that she will say something different than you expected and you won´t know what to say next.
Imagine it as a golf game – you know that you can´t do a hole in one every time, but the less attempts you need to make her laugh, the better player you are.

PS: Post only what you used with a girl (if you have something new, don´t ask us about our opinions, go out and try it) and if you are a “beginner”, rather try to be not too cocky and not too funny – start slowly and if it works, make it stronger and stronger until you once realize “that was too much”.

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jazman May 17, 2010 at 4:04 pm

@ popobawa, i realy like your comment, what you sayin realy makes sense, btw what you said at the end realy makes sense, its logical for someone to try something first with the ladies before asking for anyone’s opinion……..nice comment, b.t.w that name popobawa means someting strange.

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Steve May 24, 2010 at 11:02 pm

Hi guys, Some Good stuff on here but some of you concentrate far to much on the cocky…
some comments are downright insulting

the trick is to raise your status we all agree?
but you should be fun to hang out with
if you gonna be a dick all night she wont hang out with ya too long

for the newbies, C+F is supposed to be fleeting
like seasoning in a meal, use it but mix it up abit

gud luck and have fun ;)

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Popobawa May 28, 2010 at 12:05 pm

Popobawa is an African demon living in Zanzibar. He looks like a bat, has one eye and rapes people (men, women, children, everybody) at night.

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Hannah May 30, 2010 at 6:51 pm

You really need to tone it down on all the insults in your ‘pickup lines’ Honestly, any woman would find them offensive. Really, if any man said a line to me on this site, I think I would walk away offended, or want to punch them.

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Liu kang May 30, 2010 at 9:30 pm

Well David D reckons he never stops bustin on chicks..he just lets em have it…i prefer to use it at times to let em know im not to be effed wit lol

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Jack June 1, 2010 at 7:29 am

Some of the cocky funny lines on here seem like they’ve been taken out of a sitcom.

COME ON. Are you kidding me with this stuff?

Unattractive guy says:

“What, did my good looks scare you”
or
“I’m sick of women treating me like a sausage with feet”

An unattractive guy mentioning that he’s attractive is simply ridiculous. She has eyes you know.

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Hal June 2, 2010 at 4:16 am

Just joined this page. Some good stuff some less good. It made me laugh a lot.

Cheers

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Lickalot June 3, 2010 at 8:37 am

Either on a date,or to a woman you just started chatting to,if she puts her hand into her bag(usually the find make-up or her phone) say:Hey,im not easy like that…keep the condoms IN your bag until we know each other better!
A good in-direct opener: The LIES that women tell to get men into bed!
Role reversal is great,suggesting women of being sex mad etc.On the other hand,us guys are different ‘We need flowers and romance…’

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Lickalot June 3, 2010 at 9:02 am

Heres something that isnt cocky funny,but it worked out unexpectedly.I was in the city bars,my friend was newly single+asked if i could set up a date for him(he wasnt out with me that night).I spoke to a few women,asked if they were single,and would they be willing to meet my friend for a date.This was met with a ‘brick wall’,none were prepared to go on a blind date.Funny thing is,the more i pushed to try to get my friend hooked up,the more they came back with ‘Are you single?Why arent you wanting a date with me yourself?’ and similar comments.Later in a club,same situation,after talking to her for maybe 10 minutes she said ‘Shut the f**k up about your friend,take me home and shag me’

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Nicks June 9, 2010 at 1:56 pm

How about if a girl asked me ” What is your talent”?

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Nicks June 9, 2010 at 1:58 pm

How would i respond with a witty comment?

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olive June 14, 2010 at 9:47 am

C’mon guys…picking up a girl is easy…but like Dr.Paul says “Some men that are new to the concept of cocky and funny tend to use it ALL the time, never allowing the conversation to mature, gain rapport and are always staying on the superficial level of cocky and funny. DON’T LET THIS BE YOU.”
A good pick up line last about 30 min, and if the conversation stays on that level…you stand no chance!

Here is one of my favorites I was once picked with at a party:
HIM : Hey, would you care for a beer?
ME: Sure.
HIM: Could you get me one too?

Good luck!

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Shaun June 14, 2010 at 6:03 pm

Do these lines really work?
I mean, I am just a newbie at all this. I have DD’s Ebook and keen to get his Online Dating pack (only if can be downloaded though) and most of this is really foreign to me. I am one of those traditional guys who grew up in a women only family and who learned the hard way to be submissive. Now I am just plain intimidated by beautiful women and find myself talking myself out of anything if they even just look at me. I would love to be able to confidently draw women to me but it just has never happened.
I just don’t know where to start. It all seems so abstract and lame to me. I know I need to shift my headspace but can anyone recommend how to do it?
Shaun

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Getting College Girls June 15, 2010 at 4:17 am

@ Nick – Well for fun, I jump motorcycles over tanks full of sharks while wrestling lions and saving babies

Or turn it on her – my talent?! whats your talent? – this should get her qualifying instead of you qualifying to her.

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Alejo June 17, 2010 at 5:28 pm

wassup guys look, Im from El Salvador a country which this cocky funny thing is like natural! I’ll help u with some lines (my language is spanish so, sorry if u find bad english)

here it goes:
-hot girl u’ve never seen in your life comes by you and kisses goodbye some guys around u… u look at her with angry/smile mixed face and say: What about my kiss?!!!!.. she laughs and kisses you..

-girl: do u have spare coins??
you: No, I don’t wanna buy any sex from you

-a girl is looking at you and another one is not..
you: Hi =)!! (to the girl who is not)
girl who is not: hi :)!
you: not talking to you, I said hi to her…
other girl: hii :o
you: well in that case I can talk to both of u :)
at this point you begin a big chance of getting 2 numbers
(girls find it attractive from a guy who can handle 2 or more at the same time)

-girl punches you in the middle of a conversation for anything, you say: u can keep up with my lower back its been a stressing day… so u like giving massages to sexy guys huh??!

-you: how old are you??
her: # years old
you: look her with suspicious eyes and say: don’t lie to me only to fit my age..

-you: look at a hot girl u never seen before TO HER EYES and smile as she looks at you (this smile will be mastered everytime it works its such a confident smile that gets great result without saying a word it also includes eyes and alot of facial language mastering)
hot girl: hi *smiling*
you: stop smiling turn around and walk
you: turn back around laugh about it and say to her: just kidding come on girl let go (do whatever u do with a girl u just met)

NOTE: this stuff works better for u with hot girls and works better for them to… why? because hot girls are aproached by anyone alot of dumb guys… so they aren’t used to this kind of unique sexy f..in manly irresistible style of being.. this stuff is not just about the way you talk to attract woman u have to be what u talk uve got to look good and be a man on every little thing in your life.. be confident FOR REAL take care about women and treat them well theres no need on fake insulting or offending to get a girl

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joe mama June 26, 2010 at 5:58 pm

how do you talk or flirt with a woman who’s husband just committed suicide? I mean really .. On the other hand I feel better if I leave this one alone. To much baggage for me… I would rather have fun

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Bill June 29, 2010 at 1:00 am

Guys I just gotta say thanks for all your lines and tips I have been talking to this girl all day and I started using C&F lines on her and before I knew It she was wrapped around my finger. Thanks dudes!

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goerge July 15, 2010 at 10:02 pm

Girl takes too long to answer u back then u say”What took you so long google not comming up with any good comebacks for u?

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CasaNoah August 13, 2010 at 3:00 am

One of my favorites is when you see a girl with a nice diamond on a necklace or ring (pref not a wedding ring).

Me: Wow, that is gorgeous, Tiffany’s?
Her: (smile) “Yeah,” or “no it’s…_____”
Me: That is the nicest cubic zirconia I have ever seen. (smile/wink)

Always gets a surprised but funny reaction. Works 60% of the time, every time.

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David August 25, 2010 at 6:23 pm

Hi. I really thank you all for all the lines you guys come up. I finally got her out and had our first kiss. It was great.

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Jamison August 27, 2010 at 7:07 pm

ME: Hey will you tie my shoes?

GIRL: Why?

ME:I don’t want to be swarmed by girls when I bend over to tie them.

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Gabriel September 9, 2010 at 7:41 am

Cocky Funny is a great way to go for newbie because it offers a general framework for them to work on, but another good thing that was mentioned was that you don’t want to stay in that cocky funny mode forever. Eventually you do have to progress the relationship from that superficial phase into a deeper relationship.

Here’s a great tip for you guys, an easy formula for generating cocky funny responses is to answer the girl WITH AN ASSUMPTIVE QUESTION reframed as she is pursuing and attractive to you with a smile :). If you don’t know how to response, just go with a simple smile :)

Example:
Girl: Hey, how are you?
You: Awww, did you miss me?

Girl: What are you doing?
You: Quit thinking about me like man-meat all the time :)

Girl: I gonna find my friend.
You: Are you so attractive to me that it bothers you up inside and you have to get away from before you go crazy? :)

These are just some examples, there are a ton you can generate using this formula.

Good luck guys!

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Terry September 9, 2010 at 10:05 pm

You’re in a drug store with your friend. You see a girl you like. Make casual eye contact while your friend isn’t near you. Either strike up a conversation with her with small talk or mention something you notice about her or just walk up to her like you are going to talk. It all depends on the timing of your friend really. Have him “randomly” walk by and let one go. You then say “I was going to write down my number for you” and then flinch because of the smell and rub your eyes and then say “but I’ve only known you for 30 seconds and you’ve already made me cry!” She’ll probably say”it wasn’t me” or blame it on you. Just ignore her and say “you might still have a chance if you can help me find some visine and a pen!” It has worked more than once! In hindsight though I guess I could have just farted myself, but I’m not good at volume control, .Which would probably make the situation funnier, but probably ruin my chances unless she had an amazing sense of humour and no sense of smell:) Yeah it sounds complicated but if you get it right she’ll laugh so hard she’ll almost pee her pants. You can even make fun of her for it later in front of her friends and then when she starts to get embarrased and you start to look like an a#@hole say “I have a confession to make….it was me!”

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Everette September 16, 2010 at 9:26 pm

When a girl touches me for the first time I normally say to her that she makes electricity pass through my body or that touches me in the most sensitive area of my body. I later say, from now on I will not wash my hands because when I want to remember her I’ll just smell my hands.

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Tom September 22, 2010 at 5:40 pm

I just have a rag with chloroform it, and when i see a girl that looks half decent, (well looks like a girl) i just go up and say *does this smell like choloform* and shove it in their face. they will fall into your arms each and every time, 100% success rate, im a big intravert, and feel that talk is only when necessary, i dont like the sound of my voice either… so this is perfect for me.

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Tom September 22, 2010 at 5:40 pm

I just have a rag with chloroform it, and when i see a girl that looks half decent, (well looks like a girl im not one to judge..) i just go up and say *does this smell like choloform* and shove it in their face. they will fall into your arms each and every time, 100% success rate, im a big intravert, and feel that talk is only when necessary, i dont like the sound of my voice either… so this is perfect for me.

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hahaa September 26, 2010 at 8:21 am

It works! Only if you’re hot. ;D

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Jake September 26, 2010 at 2:24 pm

You read the book the game lmaoo

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Morgan September 29, 2010 at 6:30 pm

So, honestly.
I’m a girl, and I absolutely love it when a guy has the “almost too cocky but not quite” thing mastered. It can be so sexy(:
But honestly. The worst thing ever is if it’s an unattractive man saying something like “Don’t miss me too much!” All that does is prompt me to tell all my girl friends about the freak that hit on me, and I don’t think that’s what you’re aiming for.

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Gabriel September 30, 2010 at 2:54 pm

Morgan, that’s why “attraction” is only just the beginning…

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Tom October 2, 2010 at 1:30 pm

True story:

Just this week, I won over an NPC bikini champ won over simply by smirking at her when she tried to high five me as she walked by me selling stuff.

“Nobody’s ever done that to me before.”

and it made her stop looking at me as another A-hole customer and instead guy she could make friends with. What I was really thinking was “I don’t need you around” as I smirked, and this girl is so gorgeous but has been conditioned with nothing but praise her whole life.

Before she left, I caught her eye and made eye contact for a few seconds. It made it her self concious and of course I laughed to lighten the mood after she said “You’re staring at me”

The trick is to be able to move on to the next gorgeous woman, no matter how gorgeous the current one is. You have to believe that this woman doesn’t mean a thing to you, because she doesn’t! She’s not a part of your life yet, just a stranger.

Never focus on a woman’s features, always her eyes or face. Just normal eyecontact, not a blatant stare.

By the end of the second time I met this same bikini model (has been on the back of Flex magazine), she told me “You had me at Hello” so go figure.

She’s definitely a better looking girl than I am a guy.

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Tom October 2, 2010 at 1:46 pm

This is an EXCELLENT read.

It’s all about making sure that a woman never receives a compliment when she is fishing for one. Great!

http://www.datingclass.com/dating/cocky-and-funny.shtml

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Versiertips October 7, 2010 at 7:02 am

One of my favorites is when you see a girl with a nice diamond on a necklace or ring (pref not a wedding ring).

Me: Wow, that is gorgeous, Tiffany’s?
Her: (smile) “Yeah,” or “no it’s…_____”
Me: That is the nicest cubic zirconia I have ever seen. (smile/wink)

Always gets a surprised but funny reaction. Works 60% of the time, every time.

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Gabriel October 8, 2010 at 5:13 am

Truth be told, I don’t think about the lines, I think about the structures to generate those cocky and funny lines, “social structures” I called them, a formula for generating unique responses every time.

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Max Loh October 17, 2010 at 1:39 am

Honestly I think most of these lines will NOT work when used by ugly or average men.

The one exception is “aw, you miss me already?” This one is gold.

This one is just stupid: “Are you so attractive to me that it bothers you up inside and you have to get away from before you go crazy?” gonna take forever to say and honestly wouldn’t even work for a HOT guy.

“-hot girl u’ve never seen in your life comes by you and kisses goodbye some guys around u… u look at her with angry/smile mixed face and say: What about my kiss?!!!!.. she laughs and kisses you..” Yeah… more like she laughs and says “no, sorry.” Actually it depends on whether you know the people or not. If you know them, then the fact that she didn’t kiss you is already an indicator she’s not at all interested. If you don’t know them, she’s going to be creeped out by your request. Unless you’re super hot.

Therefore most of this cocky funny bs only works for guys who are above 6′ 1″ and/or have a great-shaped face. This is silly because these guys already get girls without requiring such techniques.

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rajveer October 27, 2010 at 1:11 am

I like girls any girls contact me contact on may Email number

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Chris October 27, 2010 at 7:39 am

I am married to a very attractive and difficult female. I am an average looking guy and I have a moderate income, I have dated lots of different types of women and have had a huge variety of different types of relationships. The whole point of this is to give you “ideas and tools” to help you develope a feel for how to handle a variety of different situations. I have used several lines on my wife of 10 years, some with a great deal of success and some not so much, but I have learned over time and by paying close attention what she responds well to and what she doesn’t. I dont care what anyone says .. attitude is everything, and dropping well, placed well timed, and well delivered lines are HUGE! Here is a primo example … we are driving in the car on our way to the airport in a blizzard, the stress level is already running high and on top of that I can tell she is pissed at me about something. I try starting some light conversation and she is stonewalling me, suddenly traffic grinds to a halt and we are in gridlock. She starts bitching. I wait for her to chill and then I hit her with … “Would you like to kiss me? From the corner of my eye I could see smoke coming out of her ears and her face turning different shades of red, then after a few seconds I said ” I didnt say you could, I asked if you wanted to!” within two seconds I had a long warm kiss on the side of my neck and the rest of the trip went smooth. So you see, its not so much what you say, but how and when. Dont be a retard and take this advice too litterally, use it as a guide to boost your confidence and develpe your game.

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Dale October 28, 2010 at 4:12 pm

Finally…Chris is somebody who gets it.

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Reubz October 28, 2010 at 10:59 pm

Man the guy who wrote this page is a real hero. I betcha he gets all the chicks and doesn’t stay up all night playing guitar hero by himself.

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Joekoool102 November 5, 2010 at 6:06 am

if she accidently touches you in a bar you can tease her with “hey no touching…I’m tired of being treated like I’m some sorta sex object”…but make sure you have a slight smile. If she’s looking at you and smiling, try ” Don’t look at me like that…you’ll get hypnotized and start thinking naughty thoughts.” If she says something you approve of ” Wow you know your pretty koool…you can be my new girlfriend…on friday night’s only”. later on you can tease “that’s it I’m demoting you to monday’s.”

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Sam November 13, 2010 at 12:22 am

this is good stuff!

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Julian November 13, 2010 at 1:34 am

Shouldn’t you get some attraction before doing CockyFunny? like dont miss me too much before she has any reason to miss you. cocky funny gone bad is worse than none at all. So do you start off normal conversation for a little while before cocky/funny or rite away?

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Austin Powers November 17, 2010 at 8:33 am

From Olive’s comment:

Here is one of my favorites I was once picked with at a party:
HIM : Hey, would you care for a beer?
ME: Sure.
HIM: Could you get me one too?

This is great line! I can really see its usability… but two things.
1.) What if she looks you up and down, then says no. (maybe even looks away).
2.) Or if a girl has this “what-the-hell” look, (that expects you to turn girly-man and say “i’m sorry”) How to not turn girl-man..

A lot of the lines are great here as openers. But for a newbie like me, who gave tried these openers, who get stuck on the follow-up… Great Masters out there.. any words of wisdom? :)

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Bryan November 25, 2010 at 7:32 pm

How to use cocky funny lines on women ?

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Bryan November 25, 2010 at 7:55 pm

If I ask a women for her phone number and she tells me no I dont give my number out to people. What lines can I say to fix that problem ?

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Gabriel November 28, 2010 at 3:43 pm

Bryan, it’s not really about the lines. Memorizing lines is not the ideal way you want to go; you want to be able to come up with ways to be able to come up with your unique cocky funny lines every time.

I call this a social structure “your very own formula that you just plug in what she say to generate your own unique responses every time.”

Never fall into “What can I say now?”

Always ask yourself, “What does ‘she just said’ say about herself?” (reading between the line) in an outrageously assumptive way that teases her and is cocky funny.

For example, “I don’t give out my number?”

Well, that tells me (and I’ll being outrageously assumptive that also teases her at the same time)…

A.) “Oh forgot to pay your bill I see? It’s ok I understand you don’t want to admit that” :)

B.) “Oh so you must only have 1 contact in your phone then…your parents, and yourself don’t count.” :)

C.) “Oh you’re that BIG of a DEAL, think your too cool to give your number.” :)

Having your own unique formula, you come up with unique responses anytime, every time, especially if you’re not naturally a witty or creative person.

Hope that helps.

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PuaHate December 6, 2010 at 6:28 pm

At first I was like no. Then I was like ……………..

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GenericName145 December 11, 2010 at 6:49 am

I strongly dislike my job as a cashier but the only perks it has is
A) bringing a small amount of money home (I’m like 17 and my dad makes plenty of money w/e)
B) the only thing that doesn’t make me loose my mind is teasing and flirting with my female co-workers.
It’s actually super easy to do in this environment. I’m not claiming to be an expert not by far but I can defiantly get a girl to smile and not look like a creep. Some things I’ve used:

-*pretty co worker stops bagging for you* “oh I see how it is, just feed me to the wolfs with these grocerys ok”
-*pretty co worker that won’t smile* “you know your really pretty anyone ever tell you that?!” *smiles* “HA I got you to smile!!”
-*pretty co worker goes next to you to grab something from your register and bumps you* “hey what do you think your doing back here? :p”
-*pretty co worker is in front of you at the clock/in line* “oh I see how it is you think you can just budge me in line like that”
make sure you smile, make eye contact throughout the whole thing but not so long that your creeping. This way they know your confident, joking and your not serious and an asshole who can’t talk to the wimmenz..

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steve December 20, 2010 at 11:26 am

hey guys im totally new to everything in terms of attraction ……however my want for “that girl” is just as strong as yours and my situation is this. Shes always on facebook and i want to open a convo with her and arrange a night out but am affraid if i just say the average loser thing like hi how are you…..she will run for the hills so i would be grateful for a few lines to use to open a convo with her on fb and what to say to after so i dont fall flat on my face ……..cheers guys

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David G December 25, 2010 at 1:38 am

its simple Brother!
All you have to do is know that your good enough
and if she is beautiful dont compliment her i am sure she see’s heaps of guys complimenting her

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ArdentPause January 4, 2011 at 8:26 am

Just start of with this:

You: “Smile if you want to have sex with me”.
Her: “lol funny”
You: “Hey would you stop? It’s always sex, sex, sex with you. I have feelings. I’m not easy you know.”
Her: “Yeah, that’s definitely my problem. I can’t help myself”
You: “It’s hard being such a sex god. Seriously, how am I supposed to know if your serious? You never even call. I just think that maybe you should call me once in a while.”
Her: “Yeah, i can’t because I don’t have your phone number.”
You: “Well not with that attitude. You always focus on the negative. Why don’t you give me your number first, that way I know that your not going to be some kind of crazy stalker chick.”

I think you get the idea.

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Jacob January 24, 2011 at 7:43 pm

This a great method. it shows her that your confident and funny at the same time

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Erik February 7, 2011 at 4:03 pm

hey i need some advice on how to be cocky and funny i havent really read alot about it but want some advice

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Kendall February 10, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Can be used for sending a text to a girl you’ve already got a number from, but I prefer using this opener after approaching from across the room\bar\any public place

You – “Hey can you keep it down over here? I could hear you thinking about me all the way over there. It’s very distracting”
Her – “Oh really now?”
You – “You’re lucky I came over and said something.”
Her – “Why’s that?”
You – “At first I thought it was one of those advertisements for Bod deodorant over the loud speaker. You know, ‘I WANT your bod!’ I’d be shy about coming up and saying those things out loud to me too”

You’ll get plenty of laughs and playfulness when you bring up those tacky bod commercials and associate her with the creepy voice over girl in them. Great way to bust on her while coming off as funny and cool. Run with it from there!

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-haaha March 8, 2011 at 12:48 pm

wanna be me?, copy and paste me.

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Jorge May 2, 2011 at 7:07 pm

You: “Someone looks good tonight/today”.
Her: “ohhh thanks”
You: “I mean me”
Her: “…”
You: “Also someone looks beautiful”
Her: “…”
You: “Now I mean you… and that blonde over there”
Her: “lol”

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samga32 May 10, 2011 at 7:01 am

That was a good one ^^…

Walk up to a group of girls and say :

“looks like the party’s going on over here !”

Then turn to the girl you want and say :

“if I wasn’t gay you’d be so mine .”

Then work off of that lol .

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Aren wolf July 13, 2011 at 7:30 am

First off, these lines are entertaining to read, however, I think the goal has been lost. The cleverest lines are a byproduct of improvisation; therefore, if one is able to recall such lines I would argued that is a practice of premeditation. Moreover, a premeditated line boils down to a pick-up line. So, if one wants to enhance their cleverness i.e. cocky & funny lines then one should strive for the center stage with nothing planned to say. Furthermore, if one really wants to become clever then they should practice this ‘art’ in other situations that do not only involve picking up women. For example, have you ever needed to impress a group of people in order to be in company of a women you’re interested in? Or have you ever seen what cleverness can do for you in a job situation or interview i.e. in front of a boss? The article mentioned it earlier, cleverness can show others that you know what’s going on (JS – just saying…). Anyways, fun stuff to read when you’ve been reading business articles all day. Good luck to you y’all…

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lifebouy_lol July 25, 2011 at 1:38 am

there is a thin line between making fun of them(girls) and insulting them.
make sure that you dont cross that line. You can make fun of them; but never insult them unless both of are in a very
comfortable position and its okay for them. It all depends on the situation.
especially for newbies in this game,it does not matter what
you were or what you are . its all about attitude, try to carry an attitude
that makes them think that i am not that easy for you. Like indirectly senting a message with your
body language or your attitude that they have to play hard to get you.
Dont make them think that you are just one of those guys who go GA GA on them.
Do not just walk up to them and compliment them, it may sounds cheesy or even corney sometime.
Most importantly, body language is also very important. Some time you dont even
have to speak anything, but still you can create attraction.
remember to look into their eyes, but dont creep them out.

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Grish August 9, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Wanna hang out with my Wang out!

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Super Syed August 10, 2011 at 1:33 pm

me: *stare into her eyes* ” You have really pretty eyes”

Girl : thanks

me: Specially the left one

Alternatively- U have really nice boobs, specially the left one

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Rory August 30, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Are…are you serious? Have you ever spoken to a women? Are you really this terrible of a person? You really shouldn’t be allowed to breed, though if you talk like this that won’t be happening

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Mr Eaker October 21, 2011 at 7:14 am

Her- you should try looking at it from my angle
Me- I tried once but i couldn’t stick my head that far my ass
Her-( can’t help but smile or laugh)

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Jenni November 2, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Ok, so I was reading alot of these and most I would either be confused or just make a weird face due to wondering why I was being talked to like I was dirt. I do realize that alot of women have an ego the size of Earth and need to be bumped down a touch so as they don’t float away into their own self worship, yes I speak from experience, gah. :P But, I usually do that when feeling self conscious or a little nervous, it helps to break some ice with guys when said in a semi-sarcastic tone or if it is blown out of proportion and then finished with something like, “…and I’m really humble too.” In that situation a a cocky/funny retort would make complete sense and I would almost be expecting it. Although, I would advise more than just peppering in these little phrases, use them in specific spots in the conversation, moments where they work, not just random moments when there isn’t anything else being said or there isn’t a way to either make a verbal path up to the cocky/funny punchline phrase(s). Or when there isn’t some kind of corelation between the cocky/funny phrase and something that has happened recently to make it easier for the phrase to go over propperly. (Note: Of course there are many women that like or dislike cocky/funny sayings and it’s hit or miss any way you do it, but, you will have way more success if you first show confidence in yourself. I personally see a man that isn’t confident in himself to be a clingy joy sucking leech (no offense). A woman needs to know the man is secure in himself so that she then has the ability to be secure with the idea of being with him. Women are self consious enough without having to emotionally piggy-back a man as well. Support him, yes, carry.. no.)

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Brian November 22, 2011 at 5:14 am

Jenni, that was well explained and makes complete sense. I can attest to some of those things, especially the clingy joy sucking leech. I thought about my own situation, and I thought that was a pretty accurate description of me. My girlfriend must be patient to put up with it (though I do a lot of putting up myself because she’s so independent…).

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Tobi December 27, 2011 at 2:14 pm

First off, what is CF,HB and all those other weird shrt forms lol and here are the lines!

Brace yourselves men, this is going to be a doozy…

Hiring / firing girls Telling them they look like trouble and Giving them #’s

You’re bad girls, aren’t you? You’re a dork! You don’t get out much, do you? You’re cute, like my little sister.

We are broken up. I guess I’m moving out, who’s going to take care of the cat and dogs?

She drops/spills/etc. something, “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

If she drops something I will say “it’s ok, you dont have to be nervous”, this 100 percent of the time gets a laugh

When I beat them at thumbwars… “OMG you suck at this, but you can cook right?” *punch*

‘Anymore of that, and I gonna have to charge you…and you know what?’ Her: What? Me: ‘(lean into her ear and lower your voice)…you couldn’t afford me’

“Seriously if you dont stop hitting on me, i’m getting a restraining order”

“There is nothing about you a complete personality change couldn’t fix.”

She says anything sarcastic, playfull, or sassy. You To target: “I don’t know who your boyfriend is, but he is not spanking you enough” or You to Group: “I don’t know who her BF is, but he’s not spanking her enough” Works well both ways, I prefer groups b/c she’ll see her friends laughing and it demonstrates social proof. You’ll definitely get a punch, and if delivered at the right time she’ll be begging you to spank her. BUT be careful it’s not a **** test. Credit: Lance (Sensei) from pickup 101

If she screws up or is cold or whatever.. “Well, aren’t you charming” Done with a little Sean Connary style

HB: You’re sooo mean..you’re gonna regret you said/did this CD: what are you gonna do? date me?

CD: Have I ever told you how helpful/creative you are? HB: (confused look) no CD: well…there is a reason for that

HB: Have a nice day CD: Don’t tell me what to do! We just met 5 minutes ago and you already ordering me around

I can’t remember who came up with this originally, but I give girls those little sticky gold stars they put on papers in kindergarten when they do something I like. Later, I find an excuse to take them away. Great for initiating light kino, plus my pivots think it’s hysterical.

Got an oldie, if she does something bad or just accuse her of being bad and tell her “you are getting coal for Xmas this year young lady for sure”

I bet you have a real cute side somewhere. You just don’t show it.”

When she throws, drops something or especially when you “accidentally” bump into her… (smiling) “Jesus! I could’ve been killed!”

Don’t get you hopes up. I’m not easy You better be getting back to your friends before they realize you’re over here flirting with me. But before you go… (awsome time constraint)

“You know, you’re a cool/good/nice girl, despite what everyone else says about you.” If she calls you a name or teases you, say “My mom’s told me worse.” (This could come off as self-depricating, but I do it in more of a “There’s no way you can offend me, no matter how hard you try” attitude) From that, you can transition into stuff like this: “Go ahead, try to offend me. Do your worst. Call my mom a slut. Tell me to **** off. Come on, DO IT!!” (playfully of course) Sometimes she’ll do it and it will be lame, so tell her it was weak and to put some emotion behind it. When she does, pretend to get offended. “Oh now you took it too far. I’m not talking to you anymore”) Then you can go into “I’m breaking up with you” etc. In general I like to pour gasoline on the fire when we’re having an argument. Suggest taking it to a physical level “Wanna take this outside?”. Even funnier if you’re already outside. “You think you can take me? I doubt it.” “I don’t hit girls, but I will tickle you until you pee your pants.” Good transition into tickling her, wrestling on the ground, you get the idea. While talking on the phone with a mutual acquaintance, say “Do you want to talk to (girl’s name)?” Then pretend like the person on the phone is **** talking her. “What do you mean you don’t want to talk to that *****?” “Well yea, she is kind of a ***** sometimes. I see your point.” This can go on for a while. Works similarly when someone is handing you the phone. Say “Hell no I don’t want to talk to her. You know I can’t stand that girl.”, etc. Make sure you say this close to the phone so the girl can hear you. Fun way to escalate kino: “Do you get a good sound?” Start drumming your hands on various parts of her body. Head is good. Remark on the acoustics, playfully tease her. “Oh I don’t know, your head doesn’t have a very full tone. I don’t know if I could be with a girl who’s head sounds like that.” Take away points, demote her to number 3, or whatever. “You seem very pokeable”. Poke her. If you want to do a take away, say something like “Eh, maybe a little.” I like doing stuff like this, “Your hair seems very pullable/yankable”, “Your shoulder looks delicious.” Bite her on the shoulder. “What does your hair taste like?” Put it in your mouth. It’s probably best to do takeaways if you’re escalating the kino. Get your hands wet, get behind her, and pretend to sneeze while splashing water on the back of her neck.

One of my personal favorites is to inform the girl who has been whinny, complaining that I am to mean etc. is that there are three types of girls in this world. The first type of girl hates me because of my sarcasm. The second type takes my sarcasm passively. And the third, and most desireable (the most desireable part I have found to be crucial) takes my sarcasm and dishes it back. Then I ask, “so what are you type 1?” At this point they forget why they were mad at me and try to “prove” to me that they are type 3 by dishing things back. It’s a great way to shift the energy while you are bantering if she starts being lame.

good reply for a **** test… “looks like someone put their crankypants on this morning”

From my notes, not mine and not sure who to credit: Hey, are you the kind of person that can take a sincere compliment from a stranger? So am I. Go ahead. You know what, I think you’d make a nice new girlfriend. Wait a minute. Can you cook? [YES--Awesome. NO--We're broken up then, but wait.] Are you rich, because I want to be a stay-at-home husband? [YES--We're back together. NO--We're broken up then, but wait.] Etc Another version of TD’s SP: “You’re a sexual predator [MISINTERPRETATION as if she is trying to pick you up] I’m not that kind of guy. I’m not gonna go back to your house to “[finger quotes] check out your stereo” or your “stamp collection” or whatever. I need trust, comfort, and connection first. ” Definitely will get a punch You’re either the coolest girl I’ve met in a long time, or you’re a total weirdo, I can’t tell. Probably a little bit of both. (Credit TD I think but not sure)

Women: you can’t live with them…no, that’s pretty much it.

If chick is being whiny, *****y, or even if you just feel like busting on her. her: (whine) me (teasing, playful c/f): Oooh, someone call the guards, Princess isn’t happy…did Princess (insert anything) last night?

Stop it… You’re looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger. You’re getting me all emotional… I promised my friends I wouldn’t go home with anyone tonight. You guys are bad girls. I have to watch out for you. You guys are trouble. You’re cool, you can help me pick up chicks. Is she ALWAYS like this? You’re like my little sister. Lovable, but a little annoying. This place is such a meat market. I hate how the girls look at me here; like I’m a piece of meat.

“If you were any slower you would be going backwards in time”

This one only works if the girl doesn’t say please or thankyou at the end of a sentence, any sentence. HB: Would you hold my bag for a sec while I go to the loo?” PUA: (In a very slow, deliberate voice, like a primary school teacher to a student) – now what do we normally say at the end of a sentence, when we ask someone to do something for us? HB: …Please. PUA: Now lets try that sentence again, shall we? HB: Would you…. please? PUA: No. then wink, or say what you would normally say to a similar **** test like that.

If a girl gets excited while telling a story, or gets really loud, or if she trips, or bumps into someone or you…. basically if she does any kind of abrupt movement etc.. I would always say: “Whoa, eeeaaasy killer.” say it in a cool-ass laid back manner. If a girl spills something/breaks something etc… I like to say: “Man, I can’t take you anywhere”

I like, “Easy tiger.”

I was having some banter with a colleague and this one came out: (said in a very condescending tone) It’s OK, don’t worry- the truth will set you free… A variation: It’s alright, admitting it is the 1st step To be used if she denies anything, like if she claims she doesn’t find you attractive…

I used this on hired gun bartender HB8 and it worked well: She was already giving major IOI’s and kino-ing me: Me: “Ooops, I did it again…” (with serious tone) HB8: “did what?” Me: “I played with your heart, got lost in the game, I made you believe we’re more than just friends!” — say it with C/F tone, don’t sing it. HB8: LOL, smiles and punches me. I read this banter on this thread and it’s one my favorites now with revision. Works great since most girls wear tight shirts and jeans: Me: I love those tight little shirts you girls wear, did you get it at Baby Gap? HB: shocked but then laughs. Me: kept referring to her as Baby Gap all night and she loved it. It’s not too mean b/c they see it as a compliment since they can fit in small clothes. This HB had on these shiny star-shaped earrings: Me: I like those star-shaped earrings. Did you get it from the My Little Pony collection? HB: grins then laughs…

If they bump into something, or bump their arm on a table/chair whatever. . . “Come on now, be smarter than the table.”

If she says someting feisty “That / This is the LAST time I let you out unsupervised”

“Run along now – this is man conversation…”

Or if she butts in between me and my boy I go “quiet you…….. the men are talking.” Always punch material

“Another blonde moment?”, “I didn’t think you were a natural red head/brunette etc”, “and you chose that hair colour?” “You’ve been at the peroxide again”, “Hanging around too many blondes will rub off on you you know”

I do this too. Offering them a sippy cup if they spill their drink is fun, or asking the bartender for one for her.

Thats awesome I gotta try that. One of my favorites is when she says something slightly witty or mentions something about herself thats somewhat quailty during MMA2. I’d say “Wow thats like + 5 points right there…..cause you were like at negative 32……. you really needed that” and look like you’re proud of her. Always gets that “Ugh! You jerk” playful kino thing going. =P

I have started giving and taking away gold and silver stars from girls. Also my boy told this tonight so credit him (he posts here just dont know his sn) Compare a girls worth to a stock based on her actions. Tell her stock just went up a little or went down little. Awesome ****, especially for nyc where there are so many traders and financial people. If she really acts fiesty you can be like “uh oh, stock is about to crash, i better sell what i have left of you.” Similarly reward her if she behaves.

If we’re being playfully sarcastic or witty, I’ll say “Why do you say these things to hurt me”, And the good ol reliable “You’re the worst girlfriend EVER”!

“I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. ” “I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me. ” “It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying. ”

After she says something dumb, “You know, it’s a good thing you’re pretty.” I always get that playful punch in the arm.

In a similar vein I will tell girls ‘once your looks go you’re going to be in trouble’

When some chick is busting on you, respond with, “Damn, it’s a good thing I have such high self esteem. That could’ve really hurt my feelings.” Or if you’ve been running the C&F hard and it’s obvious you’re a totally self assured bastard, you can reply with the opposite. “OMG, as if my self esteem wasn’t low enough as it is.” If you’ve already conveyed higher status than her, you’ll only be reminding her how impregnable your self esteem actually is and you’ll force her IOI’s. I’ve had girls respond with, “Yeah right, you’re the most confident guy I’ve ever met.” This is something like the equivilant of a guy telling a girl, “You’ve got the biggest tits I’ve ever seen.”

Some girl was just telling me she felt to lazy to go smoke a cigarette and I replied: “Attractive, you’re really the pick of the litter huh?” Anytime i get the punch I am like that one’s postable! lol (i like amusing myself)

if a girl ever puts up a smiley (like on aim) with it’s tongue sticking out I respond “put away that tongue unless you plan to use it”

- Your fly’s down – I know your type – My mother warned me about girls like you – You remind me of one of those little Precious Moments dolls (Credit to Bang Bros) – Guys like me are over-rated – You already had your chance with me – Who lit the fuse on your tampon? – I’m sorry, did I skip the part where I try to impress you? – That’s not gangster – Wow, I’m impressed. Hey everyone, let’s all give *name* a round of applause (Another credit to Bang Bros) Her: Would you… (asking for favor) You: Do fish have nipples? Her: Nice hair You: Thanks, I grew it myself

While shes talking (better in group) Her:bla bla bla You: Thats very, veeery interesting ”yawn”

This is a great one to use when they’re overselling themselves. My version goes like this: Yawn loudly and then make your yawns progressively longer and louder until you get that “how rude!” look or a hit on the arm and then follow up with “No, no please continue – I ALWAYS yawn when I’m interested!” If (when) she does it again pretend to drift off to sleep and follow up with “I’m sorry I was having a lovely dream!” “Did you spike my drink?” “No, no please continue I often slip into a coma when I’m REALLY interested!”

I’m sorry for talking while you were interrupting

Said in child’s voice “you like me, I’m telllllllllllinngggg” been using that one alot lately.

“this relationship is on the fence!” or “you’re sleeping on the couch tonight!”

I told a girl that she wants me and she respodned magic 8 balls says outlook not so good, try again later. WOW! Anything magic 8 ball related probably works really well (probably need the exact phrasing though)

HAHAHAHAHA! Instant ****-test dispeller for any situation. Here are the 20 standard responses from the 8-ball toy: * Signs point to yes. * Yes. * Most likely. * Without a doubt. * Yes – definitely. * As I see it, yes. * You may rely on it. * Outlook good. * It is certain. * It is decidedly so. * Reply hazy, try again. * Better not tell you now. * Ask again later. * Concentrate and ask again. * Cannot predict now. * My sources say no. * Very doubtful. * My reply is no. * Outlook not so good. * Don’t count on it. And so that I’m actually contributing something new, I’ll add something entirely different below.

she tells a story about something naughty or bad she did:”you know what, i like you. i dont care what the men’s room wall says about u.”

with a sad shake of the head “kids these days….” – I say this to any age.

“have you been experimenting with your dosage?”

I just threw one out on a conversation it went something like this: HB: blah blah something incredibly stupid blah blah M: WOW!(really impressed). You deserve a medal for that. (very sarcastically) M: BUT you get silver, not gold. If you gamed her well so far she will definately ask why silver not gold. This is where you can say something along the lines of “because you do x”. let x = behaviour, habit. I know it makes no sense but it works. Then you can tease her further creating an inside joke (comfort). If she asks you how does that make sense you say “i told you already, you should have listened!”

If she says something stupid: “I don’t know what you’er on but i am sure they offer treatment / have rehab for it” or “I don’t know what you’re on but i will take two of them”

Whenever I accuse a girl of liking me and she playfully denies, I respond with: “Yeah right, you’re totally going to write about me in your diary tonight. It’s going to be all like…” (said in a girly voice) “DEAR DIARY, I MET THIS TOTALLY CUTE GUY NAMED TODAY, HE’S REALLY COOL AND SMART AND FUNNY, AND I HOPE HE LIKES ME BECAUSE I TOTALLY LIKE HIM! BUT I CAN’T TELL ANYONE BECAUSE BOYS HAVE COOTIES! HEART SMILEY FACE !” Cue the laughing & arm-punching.

If she starts talking crazy “we are doing this, or omg this, or blah blah blah” you respond “I want my money back!! I didnt sign up for this!!!”

Banter from a t-shirt I saw a girl wearing in the gym today Look I would love to agree with you But I hate being wrong

I keep on interrupting a girl then when she trys to carry on talking I say “Oh my god, stop talking when I’m trying to interrupt”. Usually end up following up with “Whoa fiesty” but it depends what she says.

When she looks at you at any time, “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice”

AMOG: *tries to hug you or touch you in any way* PUA: Whoa, I’m not yet comfortable enough in your masculinity…

“Yeah, well you know, you’re very good looking… the thing about good looking people, people don’t like us” – said with a wink and sarcasm – so money

this is a guaranteed smack on the arm. when she DHVs or tells you smth about herself, “well, i guess i could live with that… it wont be easy though.”

or if she complains she’s fat or that she had a bad hair day or smth along those lines “i didnt want to say anything!”

I’ve been waiting so long to use this banter from Styles video that I’ll probably blow it. Its funny even if, like Style says, it doesn’t make sense. The girl has to throw back strong banter: PUA “I eat girls like you for breakfest” HB “Well, I eat guys like you for lunch” PUA “That’s cool, I’m not hungry anyway”. This illustrates real mastery–you banter, she equals you, and THEN you still come through with a badass response. If you don’t have one, and she bests you: PUA “Respect!” (tap fist to heart, nod head). Give her a hug/kino

I think the “I’m saving the world one XXX at a time” works. I’m saving the world one drunk girl at a time I’m saving the world one troublemaking blonde at a time I’m saving the world one powerpuff girl at a time. Etc

Whenever a girl tries to make you jump through a hoop or says something to throw you.. “Look [name], don’t play hard to get with me… it was cute at first… but we both know i’m better at it”

Her- something stupid You- *raise eyebrow and laugh*… ok, you’ve just lost your talking privileges for the next hour/rest of the night/whatever time.

Anyone: (answers question wrong) PUA: No, but thanks for playing!

“you say funny stuff sometimes.. thats not one of em, but sometimes you say funny stuff”

or

“your funny sometimes, not right now, but sometimes you are!”

I’ve used both and they work great.

You are comparing her to something you can say your like the diet version. He said you’re evil but not evil like I thought… more like the diet evil. That’s hilarious (credit Braddock.)

all credit goes too http://sosuave.net/forum/member.php?s=c00863bee4af366d1bebc8da29ed5388&u=14277

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jam January 9, 2012 at 10:22 pm

hot girl sitting looking around..

M: so your probably looking for prince charming huh?
H: ha ha
M: Yeh i know i look like him, but im not him ….im sorry….yeh people always cofuse us …haha….(im his better looking brother!)

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jam January 9, 2012 at 10:24 pm

hot girl sitting looking around…..

M: so your probably looking for prince charming huh?
H: ha ha
M!: Yeh i know i look like him, but im not him ….im sorry….yeh people always cofuse us …haha….(im his better looking brother)

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it’s awesome stuff…..

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Abby June 21, 2012 at 11:38 am

Is this a joke? The “cocky and funny” lines mentioned in the article are plain pathetic, and how they’d ever get any girl interested is beyond me. As a girl, I have to say not attractive AT ALL.

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Godfather July 12, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Some are really good and I do plan on using them myself. Abby, Seriously? Not that I have to explain this to the guys but this is only one part of the whole. You don’t give her one cocky funny line and she throws her panties in your face. Would be nice but highly unlikely.

I have some of my own I use.

A lot of businesses are maintaining customer databases which they access using the customer’s phone number like hair salons. So whenever i get my haircut and the woman is an 8 or better it goes like this.

Her: Whats your phone number sir?
Me: Really? We just met. Wow you move fast. Okay I guess I can roll with you. Here’s mine, Now give me yours. *wink*

Any excuse she gives then you can bust on her more.
Me: Oh I see. Are you boring? Cause I like fun women and if you aren’t any fun well then your probably right not give me your number.
Her: I am really fun.
Me: Okay well give me your number and we will see if you are fun enough.

Usually gets the digits.

Bitch Shield Destroyer
When I am getting attitude from a target because she is not getting the negs, i merely say,
Me: Hey I understand. You probably came out thinking you would be the hottest person in the place then I come up and that goes right out the window. I’ll tell you what. We will just tell everyone your with me and that should at least make you the hottest woman in the place. Deal?

Enjoy guys.

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lyrad September 2, 2012 at 11:51 am

One of the ones I like is to make a girl say please when asking for something and if she says there you happy? Say im.. content she’ll probably laugh or be like.content? Then shake your head a little bit and say yeah, not happy.

Don’t be afraid to use cocky.humor guys, I literally just got away with saying your a birch to a girl after using it for a little bit.and

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Greg September 24, 2012 at 3:23 am

The BEST way to get a girls phone number.

Chatting on facebook:
You: I gotta go, but i can text you if you’d like? (Something along those lines)
Now i’m pretty sure this will work, or she’ll notice what you’re doing after she gives you the number. Probably the smoothest way i can think of. Not cocky or anything

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Kyle October 30, 2012 at 9:28 pm

If shes wearing a lot of make up or perfume:

You: Hey you know why women wear make up and perfume right?
Her: Yeah because it enhances our looks (or some other commonly used response including idk why?)
You: No because they’re ugly and they stink!

Also calling her make up “clown paint” has always been a good one for me

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Murray November 18, 2012 at 6:39 am

Last night I played the cocky-funny guy and just ripped on these three girls. I also drank too much, and don’t remember the second half of the night. BUT, I got a text this morning that said

“No, I distinctly remember trying to have a witty conversation with you and you said “sarah please leave me alone you’ve been all over me all night, I like the other red head”

And apparently I had a threesome.

This shit works guys.

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tman December 28, 2012 at 8:04 am

at the end of it all, its not what you say but how you say it

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Dfairley January 2, 2013 at 7:11 pm

Me- Stop it!

Her- Stop what!?

Me- Undressing me with your eyes, it makes me uncomfortable.

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Where did u acquire the ideas to publish ““Cocky and Funny Lines”?
Regards ,Nell

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Zed February 11, 2013 at 9:09 pm

Do you guys realize how ludicrously juvenile 90% those lines are?
I really hope none of you is older than 20yo…

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Editor February 17, 2013 at 3:58 am

It’s all context my man. Anything can work, but it’s gotta be congruent. What do you think?

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she: lets get lunch sometime
you: im not sure if i want to be seen with you in public

demonstrates you find yourself better than her, but in a funny way

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